My sexless relationship with Filipina. What to do?

[smallcheese]

Smallcheese,
WTF man? I thought you were on my side and trying to help me in China. Now you are blasting me in this thread? What do you suggest I do? Quit China and go back to Philippines against my will? You seem to be double faced here.

You see, this is exactly why I don't believe you have changed at all and why I think that even if you get married with a Chinese woman, your marriage will ultimately fail. You react impulsively and lash out at anyone who disagrees with you. Not the sign of a mature person who is ready for the commitment that marriage demands.

Look at what you posted originally and you'll see that I proposed 4 solutions to your question on what to do. One of the proposed solutions was to marry Dianne and raise your son together. I never said that's what you should do. I only offered it as a proposed solution for you to contemplate. Then after learning more, I narrowed it down to 2 solutions. Then after more replies from you where it was obvious what you wanted to do and you were adamant about it, it was clear to me what the best solution for all parties would be:

"Given Winston's past history, his current thinking and his replies on this thread alone, I think the best solution for all parties involved (Winston, Dianne, Angelo) is for Winston to provide financial support for his son until he graduates from college and Winston agrees to never see or speak to his son again."

Obviously, you never read any of my proposed solutions to your original posting or subsequent replies where I narrowed the choices down.

I never suggested that you quit China and go back to the Philippines against your will. Show me in this thread where I said that!!! You can't. You are wrong but your pride and ego will NEVER admit that. This is one of your fatal character flaws and where you ultimately fail.

Why do you ask for opinions from people on this forum on what to do and then you jump down their throats, yelling and screaming at them if they propose something that you disagree with???

Winston, I hope that you are successful in finding a woman to marry in China. I even wished you good luck in that endeavor. But based on how you reacted emotionally on this thread and your documented history over the last 8+ years, I seriously question whether or not any marriage you might have, will succeed in the end.

[chanta76]

I don't get why this is soo complicated. Winston is not happy with Dianne so don't be together. Just make sure you take care of the kid. Send money to the kid and spend time if you can. If you want to have full custody of the kid can you do it on your own?

I don't think Winston is one woman man....he is more of monger at heart. Kind of like Will-n-Dodd or MR.bluelight or these other sexpats. One woman is not enough and never enough. But what happens is you got a girl pregnant. So you do have to take some responsibility.

[Winston]

I don't get why this is soo complicated. Winston is not happy with Dianne so don't be together. Just make sure you take care of the kid. Send money to the kid and spend time if you can. If you want to have full custody of the kid can you do it on your own?

I don't think Winston is one woman man....he is more of monger at heart. Kind of like Will-n-Dodd or MR.bluelight or these other sexpats. One woman is not enough and never enough. But what happens is you got a girl pregnant. So you do have to take some responsibility.

Well it's not complicated. But a lot of guys on here are very self-righteous and act like wolves and sharks. When they smell blood or see an achilles heel, they will attack a top dog, because it is in our animal nature to try to bring down others in order to raise your status. That's what it's really about. Plus a lot of people on forums are unhappy so they like to attack other and slam them. This is not about moral altruism here. If these guys cared so much about all the children of the world, then why aren't they donating their own money to charities to help children? Think about it. Actions speak louder than words.

Obviously the best solution is to spend 1 or 2 months in China traveling and searching for a partner, and then spending another 1 or 2 months back in Philippines with my son. That's a fair compromise rather than the "all or nothing" mentality that some people here have.

Ethan_sg and Mr S, thanks for bringing some rational focus to this whole issue.

[Winston]

Thanks for your apology MarcosZeitola. I understand now why you have "an axe to grind". If I was rude to you, then I apologize too. It takes a real man to apologize. Most men, even here, rarely ever apologize. So kudos to you.

Why you back in the US? When will you return to the Philippines? Where were you in the Philippines? Did you meet any forum members there? Rock travels around the Philippines a lot so you can arrange to meet him sometime.

[steve55]

Ok, I have pretty much quit this board but I still get Winston's emails. I had to respond to this one though.

Winston, can I have her then? You know I've always told you during our one on one chats how I would have been very interested in her had I met her on my own. I think she is really great. For the others here, I have met Diane before and I thought quite high of her .I've always liked her. But of course , I would never intrude without Winston's blessings .

[Winston]

Ok, I have pretty much quit this board but I still get Winston's emails. I had to respond to this one though.

Winston, can I have her then? You know I've always told you during our one on one chats how I would have been very interested in her had I met her on my own. I think she is really great. For the others here, I have met Diane before and I thought quite high of her .I've always liked her. But of course , I would never intrude without Winston's blessings .

LOL I don't know. That's a tough one. But the good news is that Dianne did say that she thought you were "hot" before. However, given your track record with Jobie and all, are you sure you're ready for any kind of relationship? lol

[WorldTraveler]

This is the best one I've heard yet. Winston this would solve your whole problem. You don't want Diane anymore. Steve is a great guy. He wants to take care of Diane. Diane thinks he's hot. You know you can trust him. Diane and Angelo get a good safe home. This is a win win for everyone involved

So Steve when are you going over to see Diane?

[steve55]

This is the best one I've heard yet. Winston this would solve your whole problem. You don't want Diane anymore. Steve is a great guy. He wants to take care of Diane. Diane thinks he's hot. You know you can trust him. Diane and Angelo get a good safe home. This is a win win for everyone involved

So Steve when are you going over to see Diane?

I've been ready for my Diane since day 1!! Lol. This is the night I went bar hoppin when with Diane behind winston's back when winstom was distracted at he other girlie bars. Bahahaha . Ok, maybe winstom was taking the photo, I'm not quite sure . Lol

[Rock]

Whoa Winston, maybe Steve's not kidding anymore. They look like a real couple in that photo too. Is this gonna play out like some sort of soap opera drama?

[Falcon]

Man, I really need to go back to the Philippines and check up on Dianne and Angelo, and see how they're doing. It's been a long time.
viewtopic.php?t=20051

My first and only trip to the Philippines was such a life-changing adventure. Met up with multiple forum members, went exploring jungles, beaches, and caves in the boondocks of the Visayas, met a few girls who fell for me, and explored the local culture.

[WorldTraveler]

Steve N. PM me. I have some things I want to discuss with you. Thanks. I think you and Diane would make a wonderful couple

[steve55]

Sorry Winston, man lol, I went a little overboard there. It was inappropriate to post quite that much. The truth is that I was on ambien when I posted that. I always get myself into trouble on that stuff. For those of you who don't know the disturbing side effects of ambien, read this NY times article about it. Here
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/15/busin ... ref=health

As the arricle says, people sleep walk, sleep drive, call people at night and not remember doing it. I wouldn't have gone quite as far as I did if not for ambien. Winston knows my struggles trying to get to sleep and that I take sleeping pills just to sleep at all by 6 or 7 am.

Even if Winston complains about Diane and doesn't want her , it's still his girlfriend and I need to RESPECT that and not take that one as far as I did. But even what I said is true , I didnt need to post all that. Of course I don't know Diane well at all so I can't say if she would be a match but for what little I saw of her, I had a powerfully very strong chemistry attraction with her at the time. I liked her right away. Of course it would have been inappropriate for me to say anything about it then. But now, based on what Winston has been saying, how he doesn't want her and how she is an anchor weighing him down, well, I thought maybe it's ok for me to say a little about it now. Diane is so very different that typical Filipinas. Even Winston told me that as we both agreed. She isnt like the 90% of Filipinas that just follow you like a puppy dog. And she has a mind of her own and you can have logical conversations with her similar to a typical 1st world woman. And I admired her for tracking down Winston when he was bar hopping with me in AC. She came to get him, she was jealous of his bar hopping and I had to just stand and watch their altercations as they argued about it. That's how I ended up being in a photo with Diane. The settlement of their altercation was that she came bar hopping with us, at least for a while. It's hard to remember but I think eventually she had to let Winston go do his thing. I'm the kind of guy who really likes it when my girlfriend gets jelous. To me it's a form of love and at that time I found myself wishing I had someone like Diane who cared enough about me to get jelous and try to take me off girlie bar avenue.

Anyways,
It's so rare that I have an immediate chemical attraction to someone, extremely rare and it'd special when you find someone you can feel that with. But I felt that about Diane. But till now, I couldnt say that to someone about their girlfriend. Now, I admit she isn't what "most" guys would find attractive. But she has such a very unique look! Ya know how sometimes you know that a girl is a bit unattractive but yet you find her very attractive yourself? I'm just sayin what I've overserved from posts about her that "MOST guys have thought she isnt all that attratcive. I can sort of agree if I'm judging it from a unbiased "outside" perspective based on what most guys or society might rate her particular looks. But even though I know that, i love her looks because her looks is so unique and it's a "chemical" fit for me and I guess a classic case of how they always say looks shouldn't matter. Right? Nevertheless,I need to edit my post above. It was a lack of judgement caused by ambien at that time. My bad . Sorry Winston, I hope you don't mind. I apologize for going too far on a public forum. I've edited out the overboard part.

[droid]

logical conversations with her similar to a typical 1st world woman

Lol you're still on Ambien man

[Winston]

logical conversations with her similar to a typical 1st world woman

Lol you're still on Ambien man

No it's true. Dianne can hold deep conversations. I've told her many true things about America and cultural comparisons between countries. She sees what I see and understands the truths I talk about. She is very open minded when it comes to hearing the truth about things. But she's not a first world woman. First world women tend to be politically correct and hate hearing negative truths or comparisons. So he used the wrong term there.

This is the best one I've heard yet. Winston this would solve your whole problem. You don't want Diane anymore. Steve is a great guy. He wants to take care of Diane. Diane thinks he's hot. You know you can trust him. Diane and Angelo get a good safe home. This is a win win for everyone involved

So Steve when are you going over to see Diane?

You are strange. How would you feel if your close friend dated your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife? You'd feel it was a bit strange too wouldn't you? You are looking at this from an outsider's perspective, and not as someone who is involved. You did not try to put yourself in my shoes.

Now, I admit she isn't what "most" guys would find attractive. But she has such a very unique look! Ya know how sometimes you know that a girl is a bit unattractive but yet you find her very attractive yourself? I'm just sayin what I've overserved from posts about her that "MOST guys have thought she isnt all that attratcive. I can sort of agree if I'm judging it from a unbiased "outside" perspective based on what most guys or society might rate her particular looks.

But Steve, you know that isn't true. Dianne IS considered attractive by most guys, by most Filipino guys and most Western guys, for some obvious reasons:

1. Out in public, Dianne gets stared at a lot. Many guys turn their head when she passes by. Falcon can confirm this. I can confirm it too. It happens all the time. I've even had Filipino trike drivers whistle at Dianne and yell at me "You are lucky man!" I swear this happened. Not making it up. Falcon can confirm this, and you Steve should have seen it too. I've listed this reason many times, but it falls on deaf ears in the forum for some reason.

2. Whenever Dianne works at a restaurant as a waitress, she becomes the most popular waitress. Patrons like her and start asking for her to serve their table. When she's absent, they start asking about her. Apparently, her charm and personality and maybe looks, gets customers to like her and ask about her.

3. Dianne used to work at Juliana's, a high class bar for Japanese businessmen. They only hire top tier girls in Angeles City there. So if Dianne got picked to work there, then the implication is obvious.

So yes, Dianne is attractive to most guys. The above are three logical reasons why she is, despite what any forum members say.

Even Banano, who thinks Dianne is only average, asked me if she was single and available after I posted her recent photos. Forum guys tend to be overly negative, as we all know.

[chanta76]

Winston,

So you want to hop back and forth between China and the Philippines? Can you afford that?