The Happier Abroader who DIDN'T make it

[Yohan]

Well, mistakes, which mistakes? He was just unlucky. It's a 50/50 situation. It could work out but it did not. Not all was his fault, a typical case of misinformation.

Nowadays it is not so easy anymore to bring into Europe legally a foreign woman from a developing country without proper documentation of her, and the Western groom has to fit certain requirements too.

To live as a Western foreigner permanently in a Philippine village is not easy either, even dangerous. - There is not really a problem about visa, but there is the typical scenario of running out of money and being a target nevertheless for criminals. He got his lesson and for sure some mistakes he will never make again during the rest of his life.

Good for him, he is still alive and he will find a cheap flight to get out of Philippines.

-----

To advice such young men from Western countries - I also meet them frequently - is more or less hopeless. They do either not listen or it is too late already.

I still have a postcard I received some years ago, from UK. I met this young guy in Thailand. He was a very friendly young man, but .... failed.

'Yohan, thank you so much to bring me to the airport and buying me a meal before departure, I was pretty down, but I made it back home' is written on it.

I met him accidentally far outside of Bangkok while driving a rent-a-car. He had nothing, zero money, no luggage, except his passport and surprisingly a non-refund discount ticket to Europe, departure within a few hours. A typical 'yellow fever story'.

[cdnFA]

Being plopped into the middle of nowhere where you can't relate to the locals will leave anyone lonely. Hell I have that in my own country.

I found this interesting.
"She thinks he lacks ambition, she says at this rate they will never have a house of their own and that he should have just taken her to his country... she points out that the wife of the Belgian factory owner "has nice things". A garden, a house, a car... and she has nothing! No ambition. "

I guess they are not different than girls in China, Japan and the West. He seemed to be doing the best he could, he can't bring her to his home and he just has high school and I am assuming lacks English and Tagalog or whatever local dialect they have there. What does she expect.


I'd also have to wonder if my lack of interest in having kids [I'm so getting snipped before I go overseas] would be a dealbreaker once the dollar signs stop flashing before the eyes.

[Yohan]

... my lack of interest in having kids ...

There is no clear advice for that.

Some people want children, others do not. There are a lot of Asian women who do not want children or for some reason cannot become pregnant. It depends on individual circumstances. - Same also about men and women who have already children out of a previous relationship. Some people can accept those children easily, others do not. This all has to be discussed carefully before entering a relationship.

[cdnFA]

... my lack of interest in having kids ...

There is no clear advice for that.

Some people want children, others do not. There are a lot of Asian women who do not want children or for some reason cannot become pregnant. It depends on individual circumstances. - Same also about men and women who have already children out of a previous relationship. Some people can accept those children easily, others do not. This all has to be discussed carefully before entering a relationship.

I've read somewhere 10 or 15 years ago that a lot of Viets don't want children. However the Philippines seems much more traditional and are sex nuts and retard strong for that Jebus fellow. I would guess it would be much more of a barrier there.

Fortunately for me my lack of desire for kids is linked up with more of an interest with an egalitarian type relationship.
Sadly I'd guess often those girls who don't want or can truely live without kids are also those who are more keen on their career which isn't a bad thing but also that makes it harder to play the wealth game in second and third world countries and in first world nations they would make more than me which doesn't tend to fly very well. I know 2 exceptions but in both cases the guy is quite good looking and not in a bad boy way [one has a STEM phd and is a hard core board gamer and fanboy] But still generally speaking not promising.

The chicks I want I can't get and the chicks I can't get I don't want. Yes I wrote that right.


On a unrelated note I have to laugh at all those profiles on POF of girls in their 40's who have no kids and want some.

Oh honey... no. Well maybe but not bloody likely.

[Blue Murder]

This thread needs to be immortalised. While it's a sad and unfortunate story, there were some mistakes made. Not just 100% bad luck. Usually I wouldn't comment on a topic like this, but given its author and the content I figured it wasn't really negative so much as it was realistic. Hopefully the OP's friend gets out okay. Think, think, think people.


As for this . . .

I'd also have to wonder if my lack of interest in having kids [I'm so getting snipped before I go overseas] would be a dealbreaker once the dollar signs stop flashing before the eyes.

Agreed 100%. At this point, the world doesn't need more people so you get props for that.

[cdnFA]

If buddy makes it back to his home country and goes on the system, I really hope he doesn't send any money back to his wife. Not as if there are any kids there.

Telling him to GTFO and go back home because at least then you would be of some use is extremely insulting and diminishing. As desperate as I am, I'd never put up with that. Why bother sending money back, she basically sent him away as some sort of bitch ass ho to bring her the money. Talk about blatantly being used. Usually when you are nothing but a meal ticket you get a bit of the old in and out from it and companionship. She is asking for money for nothing.

If he does, that is all on him.

[Blue Murder]

If buddy makes it back to his home country and goes on the system, I really hope he doesn't send any money back to his wife. Not as if there are any kids there.

Telling him to GTFO and go back home because at least then you would be of some use is extremely insulting and diminishing. As desperate as I am, I'd never put up with that. Why bother sending money back, she basically sent him away as some sort of bitch a** ho to bring her the money. Talk about blatantly being used. Usually when you are nothing but a meal ticket you get a bit of the old in and out from it and companionship. She is asking for money for nothing.

If he does, that is all on him.

It is all on him if he complies. The female relatives in my life are getting zilch from me for their constant disrespect. The most recent being a few days ago. I told one of them not to complain about the dog's waste if she goes in the house because they told me to walk her in the backyard, where she hunts for lizards instead of doing her business. The relatives response? "I don't see why you get upset at people. You aren't even working, so you have no right to get upset". Or when I inform them that they aren't entitled to benefits that are paid for by other peoples' money. "You don't believe or you'd be in a better financial situation". Always taking jabs at the money. That chick's line about "be of some use" would have been immediate grounds for dismissal for me. I understand that all women are like that in one way or another (the one thing MGTOW is correct about), but still, too much of something is bad. To me, that's too much nature in such a small window, coupled up with adding stress to stress.

[cdnFA]

Agreed 100%. At this point, the world doesn't need more people so you get props for that.

I really don't like babies and don't like older kids enough to put up with the financial demands and the risk that they will turn into hellbeats like in those super nanny type shows or the ones I see when I go out and about. I am sure for some people it is a wonderful thing and sometimes it works out fine. I am not one of those people and wouldn't want to take the risk of having hellspawn for kids. They say it is different when it is your own but considering how many parents beat, neglect and even f**k their own offspring, it is not something I'd count on. Odd thing, I think I'd actually be a pretty good father. I'd do my best to find the best methods, I am not an animal, I'm pretty reasonable and come from a stable upbringing. Hell that alone would put me in the top 25%.


I am not one of those people who don't want kids for the environment or for ZPG reasons so I don't really deserve your props, if I must be honest.

I respect for the Zero Population Growth though.

[Blue Murder]

Agreed 100%. At this point, the world doesn't need more people so you get props for that.

I really don't like babies and don't like older kids enough to put up with the financial demands and the risk that they will turn into hellbeats like in those super nanny type shows or the ones I see when I go out and about. I am sure for some people it is a wonderful thing and sometimes it works out fine. I am not one of those people and wouldn't want to take the risk of having hellspawn for kids. They say it is different when it is your own but considering how many parents beat, neglect and even f**k their own offspring, it is not something I'd count on. Odd thing, I think I'd actually be a pretty good father. I'd do my best to find the best methods, I am not an animal, I'm pretty reasonable and come from a stable upbringing. Hell that alone would put me in the top 25%.


I am not one of those people who don't want kids for the environment or for ZPG reasons so I don't really deserve your props, if I must be honest.

I respect for the Zero Population Growth though.

Oh, if it weren't for the depleting resources I'd be game. I'd be a great father. Even if I weren't as stable as I currently am, just being the opposite of the idiots and degenerates I grew up around would put me in the top 25% of healthy parents. It's sad that doing almost nothing these days makes you a better parent because people are becoming scummier by the hour. Either way, you aren't adding another one so you get props. Unless you don't want them. I can always return them and get my money back.

[davewe]

I am sorry about your friend and wish him well. I would say that many of his (and their) issues aren't just about being abroad, they are also about being married young. Issues like money and life direction, friends and commonality all are issues that can impact anyone, but particularly a young person/couple.

[Zambales]

Interesting read.

His biggest mistake was not knowing the financial requirements needed to bring back a Filipina. From then on, it was a downward spiral. Setting up a business in the Philippines as a foreigner isn't usually worth the effort as making a decent living over there is difficult not to mention the legalities, and then to hand it over to his Filipino family who probably didn't have any kind of business nous was the final nail in the coffin so to speak.

I feel sorry for the guy, because it was his father's idea who put him on the wrong path for not knowing the biggest pitfalls when entering this process - money. Not earning enough as in this instance is one. Not knowing when a potential partner is after it, is another.

[Blue Murder]

This thread can be summarised thusly . . .

[cdnFA]

More marriage fail.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/wo ... -boss.html
Bloke brings back a slag over 30 years younger, a friend of his ex wife.
She ends up doing her boss without birth control, her boss of a different race from either of them and gets knocked up.
That marriage went south really fast.

She got knocked up 2.5 years before getting married a bit over a year after they met. That's not a good sign.
I doubt she picked up too many western bad vibes, she wasn't there overtly long.

Also partly at least seems to be a case of financial problems blowing up a marriage. Seems you gotta get your paper right as the kids would say.


More fail, Canadian style.

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2010 ... riage.html

In short. Marry someone, bring them back to Canada, they can leave you right away and you are on the hook for 3 years of government payments down from 10. Some getting hit for a 100K somehow. [I assume over 10 years, the dole isn't that rich]. One guy got nailed with abuse charges.
1000 cases every year out of 45K marriages. At least those are the ones reported.

Some were cases where it was obvious, also look at some of those wedding photo, talk about sadness.
Others you would think they did everything right. Indian guy arranged marriage to a girl hhis family knew. Usually those situations last.

It might not be likely but considering my history with women or lack thereof and with people in general I'd think I'd be at a higher risk.
If that did happen to me I'd be crushed. Crushed financially at least.


It would be a pity if the choice was living in a country I love as a forever alone or living overseas where I don't belong and roll the dice there.

[Ghost]

.

[Blue Murder]

I'm playing femme advocate here. I find it odd that women would be okay with dropping everything and leaving their homes. I've met plenty of Filipinas that are like, "Nah, I'm kickin' it in my country" and would never leave it. If they are as big on family values as you all say they are, I'd be suspect. Not MGTOW-Sandman level, but I-don't-think-with-my-dick level. I guess one compromise would be to 'sponsor' a lover. You support her lifestyle in the west, but you don't bring the state into it and don't put her name on anything. That's similar to what a friend of mine does with roommates; their names never go on the lease. I know in America the states' laws are different, but it covers his arse in the case of some idiot thinking he's king of the parking lot and challenging my friend when he's just trying to be chill. I guess in AZ you can get served at any time. If you were on the lease, you are a 'legal tenant' and all that jazz.

Point? Stop and think when you make serious life choices. I don't blame the guy for wanting a wife or messing with this girl. He's young and he's at his sexual prime. No amount of "men are rapists" campaigns will change biology. There is a reason the older cats call the 20s-30s the "young dumb n' full of cum" stage. Sometimes I fall into that category, but I always retain enough big head thinking to avoid a pitfall.