Skype tips

[mentor]

I am in the procedure of making Skype voice and video calls, with a nice girl I talk with, for the last weeks.
I have never used Skype for such relationship/dating purposes, so I would like to have advice for how to handle it better,
and get the most out of video and voice calls with Skype, when we talk about knowing better a girl, and beginning and maintaining a distant relationship.

[davewe]

I am in the procedure of making Skype voice and video calls, with a nice girl I talk with, for the last weeks.
I have never used Skype for such relationship/dating purposes, so I would like to have advice for how to handle it better,
and get the most out of video and voice calls with Skype, when we talk about knowing better a girl, and beginning and maintaining a distant relationship.

Well the conversation should be natural. Talk to her like you would to anyone.

The bigger problem is connectivity and bandwidth. You'll get lots of dropped calls depending on her method of connectivity. It can be frustrating but it's something you will have to deal with. I used video from Skype, Facebook, Yahoo Messenger, and had periodic problems with all of them. OTOH if the view was pleasant I learned to adapt.

[mentor]

Yes, you are right.
Yesterday we tried to skype, using her mobile's net connection.
Many drop calls, no capability to make videocalls, she cannot even see my photos that I send her!
Even the voice call was very bad.
I barely heard her.
Delay on the sound, unclear sound, she spoke lowly, and with her pronunciation I could not understand anything from her sayings.

I told her to search near her room, to find a place with free/cheap fast internet (coffee shop/mall/etc), in order to be able to make some videocalls, as I don't think she can buy 'better' net for her mobile.

I do not know how to better handle it, as I want to depend in skype video calls, to see and know her better, but this seems to be a challenge.
I opened this topic with the essential things in skype conversation in mind, but the technical problems are serious also...

Give me tips.

[davewe]

I do not know how to better handle it, as I want to depend in skype video calls, to see and know her better, but this seems to be a challenge.
I opened this topic with the essential things in skype conversation in mind, but the technical problems are serious also...

Give me tips.

There are no easy and absolute tips. I used video as a requirement so that I could at least see the girl, confirm what she looked like, get a better read on her personality, and ensure that she was actually a "she." Once that was accomplished if video connectivity was bad we often returned to chatting. It's a pain because if you are in a relationship, as I was with my soon to be wife, and speaking a couple times a day, you want to see each other. Janet worked in a small pension house and so connectivity was decent when she was at the front desk, but even then sometimes video was not possible.

It drove my friend crazy because his fiancee (now wife) insisted she wanted to see him and they would go through a comedy of calling again and again to try to get decent video.

Now that Janet lives in the US she calls home often (via Skype) and often has terrible connections. It isn't just the phone, the bandwidth - sometimes it's the weather. And recently the cell tower closest to Janet's home was down for weeks and Janet could only speak to her mom when her mom was in town.

So, bottom line is that you really have to want to speak with the girl - communication ain't automatic.

[mentor]

Thanks davewe, useful advice.
The only solution I see to all these obstacles, is to give time so I will have more possibilities of knowing her with several ways of possible communication, and of course make continuous attempts to be connected with the girl.

Skype recently added a cool feature, video messages.
I think this is a rather good case regarding Philippines telco conditions.
It is not a real two-way communication, but the girl can send me a video message of 10 seconds, I can see her in small video, she can tell me something, she can send as many video messages she wants,
without the 'heavier' requirements of a normal videocall.

We all understand that videocalls is the best we can get from the easiness and immediacy of our desks, but maybe there is an alternative 'bunch' of watching her attitude/opinions/presence even with either text chatting and photos? Videocalls seem the hardest thing to achieve for the girl next door in Ph, with so many unpredictable conditions. As I understand, it is just as that.
But if I combine (1)text chatting, (2)photos, (3)watching attitude/opinions/way of responding and reacting through time, (4) video messages, and a (5) few videocalls etc, maybe there is a good alternative stuff to examine, combined with even less videocalls?

[mentor]

So, bottom line is that you really have to want to speak with the girl - communication ain't automatic.

I will always remember your phrase....
Another common failure are the trashy mobile phones...the girl told me that her phone died, lets see how it goes now...from one failure(net connection/speed, etc) to another...
so for sure, communication ain't automatic at all.