Slow Death Through Loneliness

[cdnFA]

I'd go to a Spanish speaking country, considering I'm nearly fluent in the language...and I find the culture agreeable to me. Just do what you want to do - and don't let what anybody says here influence you too much negatively, forums are, can be bad for that reason. .

That sounds like it might be a good idea for you.

[yick]

Well, I'm giving up all hope as well, unless I can find a way to head to Eastern Europe or the FSU.

That is the worst thing you can do, first of all - anywhere that was behind the 'Iron Curtain' has had tens of thousands of Rooshites and Brit stag parties dawn on them and piss off the local populace to such an extent that you are going to do nothing there.

Secondly - the FSU, the women would eat you alive there and you aren't physically what they are after. Ask anyone who knows Russian women. Russian women want BIG STRONG MEN who can protect them, ask a Russian woman what kind of personality trait they like in a man and they will more or less say SERIOUS. You would need to go to a gym and bulk up, get some shoulders, build up your arms and chest, I don't know how tall you are but you have to be tall - ask Winston - he'll tell you that is the thing that makes Russian women turn and look at a man

So you have no chance with most Russian women, I know I know - you have seen all those pics of American dorks like you romancing beautiful young ladies on AFA tours but that was 10-15 years ago, a lot has changed since then, you are pretty much too f***ing late.

You know Marcos Zeiota (the poster whose bum I have been licking) has given you good advice and you should heed it - go to the Philippines.

You don't want a wife or one woman - you want to f**k loads of women - so go there, it has a similar culture to Mexico, if you like Mexico BUT want to get laid, I would be on the first plane there tomorrow if I was earning a 1000 bucks a month from my You Tube channel and have a blast.

I think those are the only places left to find decent women who won't suddenly go cold on you.

A Russian woman will go cold on you quicker than a December evening in Ekaterinburg. Matt - you have no chance with those women, you need to change a LOT of things about your present self.

They're completely resisting the American cultural poison.

And why do you go to these places, let's remind ourselves again? Because you stand out as an American...

Philippines or f**k off home back to New Mexico. Russia would ruin you.

[Winston]

Ghost would be in the Philippines right now. But he has no way of making a living there. That's the problem. Didn't you read? That's not an easy problem to solve at all. Even the most experienced expats in the Philippines can't help him with that one.

No, it isn't easy, I agree, but it is do-able - you did it, Marcos is doing it, Publicduende is doing it quite a few people on this board are doing it. Course I read it - it isn't an 'easy' problem to solve but it isn't impossible either - it is his problem and one he has to figure out for himself.

Zboy1 lives in Dongguan. It's not a big city. Just a medium city with a lot of factories, but cost of living there is cheaper and lower class. He found an English speaking Chinese girl there, and so did I. My ex Chinese girlfriend Lisa was also from Dongguan, and she talked to me in English most of the time.

Winston, if you stop talking to me like I am a complete fool, then we will all rub along better, Dongguan is right next door to Shenzhen and Guangzhou - and that is why it is called 'The Pearl Delta Mega City' it is all one big metropolis that merges into each other and Dongguan - as well as being the 'whorehouse of China' is a place where westerners come and go to all the time - all the foreigners I know who are in business and have been to China have been to Dongguan because it is a very important industrial hub - because of that, it attracts single young women from all over China and yes - if Ghost went there and couldn't find what he wanted, then I would really be asking questions. So don't make the place out to be any kind of equivalent to some medium sized city in Henan or Shaanxi.

Also, you forget to take into consideration that not everyone vibes with Chinese culture or people, for various reasons. There is no culture that is right for everyone or that everyone vibes with. You seem to ignore this. Are there any cultures you don't vibe with?

I don't think I have ever disagreed with this, but it is him not them. I don't ignore it at all, in fact, I am the one telling him to be a bit more proactive about his situation - but don't go blaming China or their women - or calling Filipinos subhuman scum - I know, that was a few months ago - he has changed his mind now - I wonder if he will change his mind again when he goes living among them.

Hi Yick,
Yes it may be doable. But remember, not everything is for everyone. There is no one size fits all. Plus just because something is doable or possible does not mean that it is PROBABLE or even the best thing for the person. For example, if I took you and a woman you were not compatible with, yes you two could work it out and get along if your life depended on it, but it doesn't mean it's the best thing for you. A job working at a factory may be doable for all, but many will not be happy doing it or be utilizing their best talents in it.

The average young guy cannot find a way to make a living in the US. If you ask the most experienced expats at the LivinginthePhilippines.com forum, they will not have a solution to this problem either. I don't think most young guys can get a job there, especially since the jobs there don't pay anything so you would be almost working for free. Most expats who retire to the Philippines have another source of income, or are financially independent, or have a business there. As usual, things are easier said than done.

Yeah I know Dongguan is next to Shenzhen and Guangzhou. So it's in a major metropolitan area I guess, if you want to get technical. Btw, Dongguan no longer has p4p or brothels, at least not legal ones. The city is also not that modernized, that's why things are cheaper there. Zboy1 lives there and has a job at a good English school. Ghost can apply there too. But I don't know why he hasn't. Zboy1's apartment there is nice and only costs 1900 rmb per month, which is about 310 dollars.

What do you mean that "the problem is him and not China"? That is black and white American style thinking. I thought you're from Mexico. Why do you talk like an American? Can we see your photo? Did you grow up in America?

I told you, there is no such thing as "the problem is all one side and not the other". If you tried to eat spaghetti with a hammer and found it cumbersome and dangerous, does that mean there's something wrong with the hammer? No it doesn't. A hammer is not suited for eating. It's suited for pounding nails. That's what it does best. Try to understand this example so you will be more broad minded.

I don't vibe with Taiwanese culture or women at all either. But I do with Chinese. You can't expect everyone to vibe with one culture. It's not like Ghost is saying that he doesn't vibe with any culture. He does vibe with some. You gotta understand that Chinese and American culture are super materialistic and workaholic, and that turns off some freespirits. Others here have said they didn't vibe with Chinese culture too.

There are things about China I don't like too. I can see why some would not like it much. I think the girls in China are great, they are much more friendly, open minded, genuine, down to earth, and feminine than in America or Taiwan. To me, that's the most important thing. Ghost notices this too, but he doesn't have good chemistry or synergy with them. I don't think the typical all American guy or southern redneck would vibe well with Chinese girls either. They aren't for everyone.

Btw, when did Ghost say that Filipinos were "subhuman scum"? That's not the kind of word he uses. Maybe you mixed him up with someone else?

Have you ever been to a culture that you didn't vibe with? Or do you vibe with every culture? lol

[Ghost]

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[Winston]

I live in China, apart from playing the foreigner card. I don't really like it here. The people are materialistic as hell, basically the same as Americans but even worse - if you can believe it. They are also incredibly, incredibly rude here. Chinese culture is very callous, rude .....uncaring, there are so many damn people no one cares.

I have lived here five years, my first two years were hard, but I learned was that the Chinese aren't rude - they have a different set of polite ettiquette - it isn't the west, if you are expecting them to behave politely like westerners, no - you are going to be disappointed, but once you fathom them out, they are a pretty decent bunch of people who will go out of their way to be helpful and nice - there are more arseholes back home than in China but it isn't west.

I agree with this one. I don't find mainland Chinese rude. They are just more upfront and honest. Sometimes it means they express their annoyances. Sometimes they scold me for the wrong reasons, which makes me mad. There are many stupid ignorant barbaric men in China too. But hey, at least they are real. The politeness you get in Taiwan or Japan is mostly fake, not honest at all. So it makes me uncomfortable, the fakeness I mean, more so than the rudeness of upfront Chinese does.

I don't see how Chinese are rude exactly. They only push and shove at subways when they have to because it's overcrowded and they can't get anywhere otherwise. But they do not cut in front of me in line when I'm at the supermarket, or even at the intercity train station. It's not like they come up behind me and kick me for no reason. Or take a book out of my hand while I'm reading it. Or sit at my table at a cafe without asking my permission first. Or reach into my backpocket like beggar kids in the Philippines do. They don't do those things, which I would consider to be rude.

There is uncivilized barbaric behavior in China. However, they don't apply to all Chinese people in general. We need to differentiate, because the women and men in China are very different. The women are very civilized, classy and refined, much more so than the men. So the common criticisms of mainland Chinese apply mostly to the men there, not the women. So it's wrong for people to say them about Chinese people in general. They need to differentiate. For example, I see lots of Chinese men spitting everywhere and making loud disgusting sounds with their throat. They tend to wait for me to pass by first before doing it, because they and Murphy's Law knows it annoys me, so they wait for me to be near first before doing it. It's typical Murphy's Law, if you hate something, it will follow you or wait til you approach before coming out. Murphy's Law is such a friggin bastard.

However, I don't see young women spitting or making disgusting. People say they do. But I haven't seen it, so it must be very rare. None of the women I saw do anything disgusting like that in public. They are very refined and civilized and lady like.

So there is a world of difference between men and women in China. People need to distinguish that when they talk about the bad habit of Chinese people.

Btw, you say men aren't entitled to sex. Well maybe, but they should be entitled to prostitution at least, which should be legal. The societies in the Middle Ages and Renaissance, and even in the Old West America, understood that and provided legal affordable prostitution. Only modern liberal socialist America doesn't understand men's needs, because deny and hate human nature. Other societies are wiser and more understanding of men's needs, including the Europe of today.

Why don't you go without sex for a year or two, Yick, and see how it feels? Maybe then you will be more sympathetic about men's sexual needs and desires.

[Winston]

I know. Thank you frank for your reply. The only way I get my advice is from the Bible at this point. I've stopped looking ANY where else. period. It will not lie to you. Everytime. It is the only source of wisdom on life that tells you everything how it is. no bs. It also gives the best wisdom.
I appreciate your suggestions. And have thought of this myself, however, I recoil at paying for sex...etc, at least part of me is.

I think the existence of these guys that exist who bed lots of women exist to make the rest of us feel like shit. It's like some story telling that makes us feel like shit. Then we all beat ourselves up over it.
This blowhard has a point, I'd take it and gleaned it from his garbage...
but it still exists. It is still a force to reckon with.

Decisions decisions, thank you for your input, and thank you INDEED for your valuable points you bring up.
I will ponder them.

Yes there are elitist guys like that, they enjoy putting others down and making them feel incompetent, like shit. It's a form of subtle bullying, done very smoothly under the guise of "this is how life is, some guys aren't good enough, others are" etc. But then again, some guys just aren't sympathetic toward others and so will not say sympathetic things to guys who complain.

The Bible contains good advice and wisdom, yeah, but make sure to read other religious texts, like the Tao Te Ching, Hindu texts, Buddhist texts, etc. They all contain wisdom. You should utilize them too. Not limit yourself to one faith only. Diversity is God's beauty. There is diversity in this world, so why would God be so single minded (as Adama assumes) that he only wants you to study one religion but not others?

The Bible may have general moral guidelines. But i can't tell you what to do. For example if you have major decisions in your life and aren't sure which one to choose, the Bible can't tell you what to do. It can only give you general guidelines. Likewise, the BIble isn't going to tell you to go abroad or change your location if you aren't happy or getting the romance, sex, love that you need. But HA will! So we have solutions that religions don't.

[Winston]

I completely agree with you. For me, it is always a mixed bag. There are things I love and things that I cannot stand. Korea, for example. Fantastic public transportation. Fantastic healthcare system. Absolutely hated the culture. I was f***ing miserable in Korea. Never going back.

Can you expand on that? how long were you there?
@Winston, if you think the Taiwanese are bad, wait till you see Koreans haha, those motherf*kers really give you the 'You're just not there' and 'See thru you' treatment.

I already get that in Taiwan, and probably in Japan too. So the net result is the same. No human or social connection. No making of "new friends" etc.

[Winston]

Hi Droid,

Great posts as usual but I would like to explain my tone towards Eric and why I adopted it.

If I went to my own father - or if my own son came up to me and said something along the lines of

'Why won't anyone give me sex? Why do I need to make an effort?'

He would probably belt me one (deservedly) I am sure if you went up to your father and said something along those lines - he would give you a talking to you, your grandfather, great-grandfather who stormed a beach at Guadalcanal would probably belt you one and tell you to sort your life out.

If I dared said something like that to my mates, they would laugh in my face and I would never hear the end of it - and they would call me a f***ing wuss.

I am trying to help him here, and give notice to people wanting to do this, it isn't an easy option in getting laid - as you know yourself.

It is an alternative to the life we had back home, where every man is viewed as a potential rapist or sexual deviant until they prove otherwise - kiddy fiddler, rapist, sexual predator - and all that gets tiring, so - if we escape all that - it doesn't mean the rules all change, all that happens is that the mindset of the women here is different - they won't see you as a potential rapist and you get the chance - that is ALL anyone can ask for in our new homes.

But I can't prettify this for him, the language has to be basic and has to be to the point so he understands. And the rest of the whining wusses who think they are owed sex.

Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society - you know - if people got sex based on that - he would be at the back of the queue again and bin men, people who get food to our table, water sanitation workers, nurses, doctors, law enforcement agents, fire fighters and the people who run public transport get laid before him - well, a bit like now - he would find there is no difference.

Get rid of the entitlement fellas, you are entitled to f**k all.

You seem to assume that effort always equals results, effort = results, but what if it doesn't? What about the guys who do put in the effort and get shot down and end up with nothing? What do you say to them? There are some cultures and cities where you put in a lot of effort and you get very little result in return, to the point where after a while you don't bother because the effort you put in isn't worth it. What do you suggest then? Why not admit that some places aren't good for some people, or that their destiny isn't there, or that God doesn't want them to be there, etc?

[Winston]

Do you guys think that Yick and Tapiato may be the same person? They are both Mexican and say similar things right? Do their writing styles match? Their IP's don't, I already checked. So you will have to go by their writing styles and other clues.

[Winston]

Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society

Don't you think workers are entitled to pay for sex with professionals should they desire? If you are productive and earning money, I think you should be allowed to spend as much of that money as you want on hookers.

Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society

Oh yeah, that is what happens in China now, men have sex with prostitutes or else they would never have sex. And retiredfrank gave this advice to Ghost and Eric and it was very good advice.

The problem is not that, it is the PTSD that some of the fellas on here suffer from relating back to High School and the fact they weren't the popular kid and they didn't get to f**k the cheerleaders. I understand America has a really poisonous social system for kids - especially in regards high school but there is a day one needs to realise that there are actually men who can get lots of sex from lots of women and there are people who can't - realise if that is you (plural) - that is you and go out and do something about it instead of hating the country - the truth is that most of these fellas like Eric, Ghost and MattHanson1990 would never have left America if he had got laid on his prom night with the head cheerleader - if they had, they would be there in their little house with a big stars and stripes hanging out from their front porch - the reason they are angry is because they think America has let them down socially and has not provided them with lots of sex - which is their god given right as white American men. Do they actually want to live abroad? Not really, they aren't willing to make the basic attempts to fit into their new homes - well MattHanson is learning Spanish - good for him I suppose.

And realise another thing - most men who are having lots of sex with lots of women are having sex with women you wouldn't shake hands with - I know a guy who has had sex with hundreds of women - most of them look like Boris Becker (his words) how many men are having the kind of sex with women YOU would want to f**k? Single figures, and probably under 3% - reserved for the likes of Mick Jagger and people of that kind of wealth and fame.

So, if one wants to have lots of sex with lots of nice looking women who he considers beautiful or at least attractive then P4P is the way to go around it for sure.

What Russia, China and the PI can offer you is the chance to get a nice looking woman with an education and background who you would never get in your own country. That's it really.

I think you are exaggerating here. Ghost and others here who have PTSD from high school are not claiming that they should have been a star athlete jock and dated cheerleaders. They just wanted a NORMAL social life where they had some friends and dated some girls, even if they were average girls. They just wanted to feel accepted, that's all and not much to ask for. No one deserves to be treated like shit in high school if they did nothing wrong. I got bullied a lot in school and resent it for that. It damaged my self-esteem, and even if I try to forget it, it's still there because it's part of your "root", just like the roots of a tree are still there, even if you don't see them. Our personality and identity forms during early childhood so those are the most crucial years. Even if I was a star now and had hot women everyday, those wounds would still be there, because they are part of the ROOT of my psyche. So you can't just forget your past and put it behind you, as people say. Easier said than done. Maybe you need to reprogram your subconscious mind or something.

Ghost doesn't need a woman that's hot. He, like most men, just wants a nice woman who is feminine, down to earth, not fat and has good values. Even if she's plain looking, as long as she's feminine and has traditional values, he and most men would be fine with that. That's not a lot to ask for, since that's how women are supposed to be and have been for thousands of years.

Ghost is not a complex person, at least not in this area. He is just a simple guy with simple needs. Nothing wrong with that. Are you claiming, Yick, that there is on such thing as a victim? There definitely are.

[yick]

Hi Yick,
Yes it may be doable. But remember, not everything is for everyone. There is no one size fits all. Plus just because something is doable or possible does not mean that it is PROBABLE or even the best thing for the person. For example, if I took you and a woman you were not compatible with, yes you two could work it out and get along if your life depended on it, but it doesn't mean it's the best thing for you. A job working at a factory may be doable for all, but many will not be happy doing it or be utilizing their best talents in it.

You're right, but it is YOUR responsibility to do something about it. That is all there is to it, what isn't going to happen, is that he is going to die a slow death through loneliness.

The average young guy cannot find a way to make a living in the US. If you ask the most experienced expats at the LivinginthePhilippines.com forum, they will not have a solution to this problem either. I don't think most young guys can get a job there, especially since the jobs there don't pay anything so you would be almost working for free. Most expats who retire to the Philippines have another source of income, or are financially independent, or have a business there. As usual, things are easier said than done.

You know what I would do if I was him - I would go and do this.

http://www.mihca.com.ph/SitePages/Cours ... d%20Pastry

Go to the Philippines, learn how to bake bread, small cakes and pastries - open a little a shop there with my new wife, Marcos is out there now, how is he doing it? You have to think on your feet right? When your dad left Taiwan and went to the States, it was hard for him at first, it's hard for immigrants.

Yeah I know Dongguan is next to Shenzhen and Guangzhou. So it's in a major metropolitan area I guess, if you want to get technical. Btw, Dongguan no longer has p4p or brothels, at least not legal ones. The city is also not that modernized, that's why things are cheaper there. Zboy1 lives there and has a job at a good English school. Ghost can apply there too. But I don't know why he hasn't. Zboy1's apartment there is nice and only costs 1900 rmb per month, which is about 310 dollars.

Dongguan would be a better choice than a medium sized city in Henan, they are not the same even remotely, so Ghost should go there, I think he should go there.

What do you mean that "the problem is him and not China"? That is black and white American style thinking. I thought you're from Mexico. Why do you talk like an American? Can we see your photo? Did you grow up in America?

China isn't going to change, so if he isn't gelling with the place, he has to leave and find somewhere that does, because China isn't changing.

Also, what's with the strange request? Have you asked for Ghosts photo? I can send you my photo via email if you want but I don't want it being plastered all this forum (for obvious reasons) and no, I am not Mexican, I am British.

I told you, there is no such thing as "the problem is all one side and not the other". If you tried to eat spaghetti with a hammer and found it cumbersome and dangerous, does that mean there's something wrong with the hammer? No it doesn't. A hammer is not suited for eating. It's suited for pounding nails. That's what it does best. Try to understand this example so you will be more broad minded.

Then it is your responsibility to find a place that does gel, you have done this yourself more than once, that is what he should do. Make it work, his problem.

I don't vibe with Taiwanese culture or women at all either. But I do with Chinese. You can't expect everyone to vibe with one culture. It's not like Ghost is saying that he doesn't vibe with any culture. He does vibe with some. You gotta understand that Chinese and American culture are super materialistic and workaholic, and that turns off some freespirits. Others here have said they didn't vibe with Chinese culture too.

There are things about China I don't like too. I can see why some would not like it much. I think the girls in China are great, they are much more friendly, open minded, genuine, down to earth, and feminine than in America or Taiwan. To me, that's the most important thing. Ghost notices this too, but he doesn't have good chemistry or synergy with them. I don't think the typical all American guy or southern redneck would vibe well with Chinese girls either. They aren't for everyone.

Btw, when did Ghost say that Filipinos were "subhuman scum"? That's not the kind of word he uses. Maybe you mixed him up with someone else?

I don't disagree with any of this but it is his job, his responsibility, his problem, there was some post he made where he was angry at Filipinos and he called them 'sub-human scum' I don't know where the post is - it was a few months ago, he has publicly retracted it now anyway.

Have you ever been to a culture that you didn't vibe with? Or do you vibe with every culture? lol

Yeah, I was in South Korea for two years, didn't like it, got the f**k out, and will never return - easy!

[yick]

You are an idiot, Winston.

Listen, I am not Tapito, but I don't have much time for self pitying malcontents that fester your forum. Who think they are entitled to sex, even though they bring very little to the table, look - if you think I am a sock or I am another account then delete the account - I don't give a f**k.

The only thing is - I am 'Happier Abroad' one of the few who are. I hate to think I am polluting your precious forum by telling some of your whiny, entitled members to pull their socks up - if you want to leave it all to them then that is fine by me - delete my account.

[Shemp]

Why don't you go without sex for a year or two, Yick, and see how it feels? Maybe then you will be more sympathetic about men's sexual needs and desires.

Any man who lets himself be led around by his dick (sexual desires) is a weakling fool. Sex is a means of self-expression. The physical urge is NEVER something we can't suppress, even as teenagers. Past age 30, it is easily controlled.

[Ghost]

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[Ghost]

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