Warning: Why Having Children Could Ruin Your Life and Be Your Biggest Mistake! Must Read!

[chanta76]

For an Asian dad , Winston dad is pretty great. My dad is f***ing dick. I know so many other Asians dad that are just plain horrible. Controlling and high expectation.

I think Winston like many of us like to think it's this that messed us up or that person messed us up.Like a blame game. The problem with Winston and I don't want to be rude is lack of responsibility.

[Kradmelder]

Chanta,

What dad isn't controlling and with high expectations?Mine wanted me to get firsts at school. Always win at sport etc. Anything else wasnt good enough. That is going to an extreme though when you hear of Asian kids committing suicide because their marks aren't good enough and they don't want to bring shame to the family.

Controlling I assume means trying to guide your life in direction he thinks will be best for you? That is an instinct of trying to protect his family even after he is gone.

Thankfully I never had to do that as my kids get firsts and are successful at sport. They help do house repairs and maintenance etc. So my controlling is restricted to the race of their future mate. Any nation. Just white. I might still bring the gun out later though if they come home with white trash . I also hammer them on table manners and not to eat like savages as they both stay at nice hotels in europe. My son has had dinner with a government minister (leader of a dept) and a provincial premier after coming back from Europe with a silver for SA and I tell him you eat like a civilised white man in front of them, even if they are savages and eat like savages. I've tried to make them use chop sticks and told them one day you will dine with important asians and must behave cultured, and not ask for a fork like an uncultured American. Not so successful as I can barely use them with my thick fingers. My daughter is quite good. A Chinaman taught her at a restaurant. The table manners of the average American are shocking.

Is there more that Asian father's do? Are you a father yourself so that you have tried to curb these instincts?

[chanta76]

My point is winston wants to blame his dad . I think to some extent all kids do that but winston is a father himself. I wouldnt be surprise if winston son will blame winston for being a crappy dad.

Winston just doesnt want to deal with the responsibility of being a father. He prefer to monger instead. He isnt the only one. You have bus load of western men who knock up a filipina but dont take responsbility.

This isnt an asian or white thing. Its more of a me thing well .

For those of you who are dads know how much work there is to raise a child. Not everyone should be a parent but if they make a baby..they have to take responsibility because this is human life we are talking here.

[Kradmelder]

My point is winston wants to blame his dad . I think to some extent all kids do that but winston is a father himself. I wouldnt be surprise if winston son will blame winston for being a crappy dad.

Winston just doesnt want to deal with the responsibility of being a father. He prefer to monger instead. He isnt the only one. You have bus load of western men who knock up a filipina but dont take responsbility.

This isnt an asian or white thing. Its more of a me thing well .

For those of you who are dads know how much work there is to raise a child. Not everyone should be a parent but if they make a baby..they have to take responsibility because this is human life we are talking here.

There is no debate about that. I agree fully that Winston is blaming his father, who appears a decent man. Almost for sure his kid is doing the same. Boys take it hard when their father's abandon them and feel they are somehow responsible. I've taken a few fatherless boys shooting or on day trips on my bikes (at request f mothers). After that, they always want to come visit, offer to help me with chores like cut wood for me etc. My avatar, the second helmet was for a 10 yo boy I took. He took the photo. After a trip on dirt roads I took home to a tiny restaurant on a back road near no town. I bought him a hamburger but he was so impressed he told his ouma (grandmother) that i took him to a nice restaurant and bought him a really nice meal. Ouma wanted to reimburse me but I said it was only a hamburger and chips and a place for local farmers But for him a rare treat. Mother spends all her money on pubs, cigarettes and bars.

Usually they treat their mother like shit and with disrespect, as if they blame her that their father is gone, and the mothers are shocked at how polite and behaved they are with me. They are so craving a father figure. It is sad. But there comes a point when missing their dad turns to hatred, so Winston needs to reconcile before that happens,

Yes plenty of white dead beat dads. Probably far more than asian ones. My question was is asian upbringing really any different than for white families? Not modern western, traditional white families.

Yes. Kids are a lot of work, time and money. I hope you one day you have the pleasure of raising some and watching them mature and make their own lives. It is the most awesome privilege on the planet and one of the most joyful and fulfilling experiences you will have in life.

I don't believe there are bad kids. Just bad parents. Invest in your kids and they will grow up to make you happy and proud, not misbehaved brats. I've seen the worst back talking, unruly disrespectful brat of a single mom become a model boy when his mother is not around and you spend time with him doing boy stuff. At first they are trouble but if you are firm and tell them what is not acceptable they become good kids. They fear disapproval and rejection from another man, It is a feeling better than sex to take a kid to do something boyish he can never do with his single mom and see the gratitude and joy on his face. Even if it is not your own kid. You have opened a new world to him. I've got a few neighbourhood kids that like to come visit. I just don't their mothers around. Not even for sex. nada. nothing.

[S_Parc]

There is no debate about that. I agree fully that Winston is blaming his father, who appears a decent man. Almost for sure his kid is doing the same. Boys take it hard when their father's abandon them and feel they are somehow responsible. I've taken a few fatherless boys shooting or on day trips on my bikes (at request f mothers). After that, they always want to come visit, offer to help me with chores like cut wood for me etc. My avatar, the second helmet was for a 10 yo boy I took. He took the photo. After a trip on dirt roads I took home to a tiny restaurant on a back road near no town. I bought him a hamburger but he was so impressed he told his ouma (grandmother) that i took him to a nice restaurant and bought him a really nice meal. Ouma wanted to reimburse me but I said it was only a hamburger and chips and a place for local farmers But for him a rare treat. Mother spends all her money on pubs, cigarettes and bars.

Usually they treat their mother like shit and with disrespect, as if they blame her that their father is gone, and the mothers are shocked at how polite and behaved they are with me. They are so craving a father figure. It is sad. But there comes a point when missing their dad turns to hatred, so Winston needs to reconcile before that happens

Mel's dad and I have grown close over the years. In effect, he's substituted for my own father, who's more or less, a nutcase.

[MrMan]

My wife is Indonesian. She did not like it when our mutual friend, a Canadian woman in her 20's, said she didn't like children. She said Indonesians think there is something wrong with you if you don't like children. And if you want to get married and not have children, they think you are selfish.

From a big picture point of view, we could say that those who don't want to have children are actually the leeches, leaching off the joy in life without contributing to the next generation, not just genes, but physical and emotional support of a child, and teaching and training the next generation of their family.

Children are a huge sacrifice, especially starting out. I hear the teen years can be difficult. My son is a teenager. He's not difficult at this point. He was a lot more of a challenge at 3 months old for me.

But you do get something back from children. You get a lot back emotionally. My girls hug me. One hugs me when I leave and says, "I love you forever.' The four-year-old likes to hug daddy. It's good to be appreciated by little kids. They don't stay little forever. It is good to have your children in your wife. It's good to have people in your life.

I suppose lonely mongers who do not invest any time in family (with the kids they father that they don't know about), can have some fun for 30 minutes to a couple of hours with a girl they pick up at a bar, or for a series of months with a short-term live in girlfriend or what have you. But they go on to the next relationship. When they get to be 70, unless they have cash, who wants to sleep with them? And who is going to wipe their butts when they are 98 in diapers and can't take care of themselves, if the VD doesn't kill them first?

From a purely selfish economic perspective, if you raise your kids with traditional values, they know they have to take care of you when you get older. That's one thing from my wife's culture that I'd like to instill in these kids. My parents are pretty well taken care of. We agreed to keep my wife's parents up. I'd be willing to do the same with my folks. Economically, it does make sense from this perspective.

For those of us who go the one-for-life marriage route, they also say a woman doesn't reach her full orgasmic potential until after she gives birth. Something about the blood vessels expanding. Just based on a sample of 1, I think that may be true. Before the kids, we did have more time to devote to such pursuits, though. A woman reaching full orgasmic potential is beneficial to men, too, since its loads of fun.

[Kradmelder]

Great post MrMan
Mine are teens. One is 18. They have never been any problem at all and actually willingly help a lot. I prefer to spend time with them than anyone else. If you keep doing what you are doing they will not be a problem. You sound like a dedicated father. Kids are the result of bad parenting. Don't give them attention and let them loose around malls and they will find other role models. If you are involved in their life in a meaningful way they will think what would my father say?

I don't agree with you on the 98 thing. One of you will die first. The other grows old alone. While alive your partner is also old so cannot physically help you. You will depend on kids or a nurse.

I agree with you, and your wife, that those who don't want kids as it takes their time and money are leeches. You are the product of a long line of ancestors who sacrificed. Now you must do your bit so it was not all in vain. If you don't want kids all your ancestors have done is now in vain. Only for me the duty is to reproduce your own race. To produce children that look like your ancestors did.

If you are Asian, we'll done. If you are White your dedication to being a father to the next generation is lost to the white race. No offence meant. You have your own value system. Either way you are still a good man doing his bit.

[chanta76]

My wife is Indonesian. She did not like it when our mutual friend, a Canadian woman in her 20's, said she didn't like children. She said Indonesians think there is something wrong with you if you don't like children. And if you want to get married and not have children, they think you are selfish.

From a big picture point of view, we could say that those who don't want to have children are actually the leeches, leaching off the joy in life without contributing to the next generation, not just genes, but physical and emotional support of a child, and teaching and training the next generation of their family.

Children are a huge sacrifice, especially starting out. I hear the teen years can be difficult. My son is a teenager. He's not difficult at this point. He was a lot more of a challenge at 3 months old for me.

But you do get something back from children. You get a lot back emotionally. My girls hug me. One hugs me when I leave and says, "I love you forever.' The four-year-old likes to hug daddy. It's good to be appreciated by little kids. They don't stay little forever. It is good to have your children in your wife. It's good to have people in your life.

I suppose lonely mongers who do not invest any time in family (with the kids they father that they don't know about), can have some fun for 30 minutes to a couple of hours with a girl they pick up at a bar, or for a series of months with a short-term live in girlfriend or what have you. But they go on to the next relationship. When they get to be 70, unless they have cash, who wants to sleep with them? And who is going to wipe their butts when they are 98 in diapers and can't take care of themselves, if the VD doesn't kill them first?

From a purely selfish economic perspective, if you raise your kids with traditional values, they know they have to take care of you when you get older. That's one thing from my wife's culture that I'd like to instill in these kids. My parents are pretty well taken care of. We agreed to keep my wife's parents up. I'd be willing to do the same with my folks. Economically, it does make sense from this perspective.

For those of us who go the one-for-life marriage route, they also say a woman doesn't reach her full orgasmic potential until after she gives birth. Something about the blood vessels expanding. Just based on a sample of 1, I think that may be true. Before the kids, we did have more time to devote to such pursuits, though. A woman reaching full orgasmic potential is beneficial to men, too, since its loads of fun.

I have to disagree. Some people have kids for selfish reasons too. For example some people just want to continue thier blood line as if they are royality.

Having kids ishould be more about raising life and guiding them but eventually letting them go once they are older. I seen parents that are still controlling of thier kids even in old age.

Im korean i get allot pressure from my parents in making them grand kids. Having kids should be a choice. Raising a child in this crazy world is very hard and maybe its better not too.
Saying that it can go both ways. I seen too many parents have kids just because society said they had too and they hated being parents. I think there is allot of parents that hate being parents. I dont know if its selfish but more like not everyone can or should be parents.

[Winston]

Check out this funny short video from The School of Life about the horrors of having children. It says what I told you all long ago, that having kids ruins your romantic and sexual life with your partner. And it also makes you regret it. However, those who do not have children also regret it as well. So it's one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" type of things. lol

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwtBYjKWeDk[/youtube]

[books]

Winston, you are right about children being parasites,
but you are very wrong about the fact that most children are capable of love.

Most children do not love their parents and they do not even understand what real love is.

Parents sacrifice everything for their children, but children often sacrifice absolutely nothing for their parents.

They often just insult their parents and treat them like shit, and also considered that they are entitled to parents buying them everything they want

[starchild5]

You are meant to create Kids for the System NOT FOR YOU.

People often ask why Aliens created humans to extract gold while they could have created robots ...this is the reason...Robots won't sacrifice there entire life for their baby robots, human would...

This system is working for over two hundred fifty thousand years perfectly by DESIGN...

Having kids as a carbon based life form speaks of ignorance...You are not meant to have Kids or even wife ...All these institutions are there to extend Alien Agenda.

Even the kids suffer after not loving there parents back..They are angry why the parents brought them to this hell

[Winston]

Winston, you are right about children being parasites,
but you are very wrong about the fact that most children are capable of love.

Most children do not love their parents and they do not even understand what real love is.

Parents sacrifice everything for their children, but children often sacrifice absolutely nothing for their parents.

They often just insult their parents and treat them like shit, and also considered that they are entitled to parents buying them everything they want

That depends on the culture you raise them in and whether they have a young soul or mature soul. Some cultures spoil children and some souls corrupt easily. In mainland china, the children respect their parents and will do anything for them. They will even dump someone they love if they demanded it.

Countries with traditional values arent like what you describe. Also depends on how materialistic the child is. Ive seen some children with a heart of gold. Ive seen little blonde girls who are sweet, angelic, kind and caring. It depends. The problem is when you have children you dont know what you will get.

Children are one of those things in life that is "damned if you do, damned if you dont". If you have them, you will regret it. If you dont, you will regret it too. Either way you lose. Very illogical.

[International Gringo]

Actually, as an American who lives part time in Angeles City, Philippines I can assure you that Winston is considered a supportive and loving father by Filipino standards. So many single mothers out here in the Philippines have baby daddies who leave the women with no financial or emotional support for their children whatsoever and this behavior is completely accepted in Filipino society. Winston is at least sending a couple hundred dollars a month to his kid and im sure visits him every year or so. That in itself will get you labeled a reliable family man by Filipino standards. However, I agree with the rest of you criticizing Winston that he is a deadbeat dad by American standards but then again we are all pretty much f**k ups in general (regarding work performances, family laws, being law abiding citizens, etc) whenever American standards are imposed on your average male

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Actually, as an American who lives part time in Angeles City, Philippines I can assure you that Winston is considered a supportive and loving father by Filipino standards. So many single mothers out here in the Philippines have baby daddies who leave the women with no financial or emotional support for their children whatsoever and this behavior is completely accepted in Filipino society. Winston is at least sending a couple hundred dollars a month to his kid and im sure visits him every year or so. That in itself will get you labeled a reliable family man by Filipino standards. However, I agree with the rest of you criticizing Winston that he is a deadbeat dad by American standards but then again we are all pretty much f**k ups in general (regarding work performances, family laws, being law abiding citizens, etc) whenever American standards are imposed on your average male

As much as Winston will avoid replying to me, I will agree to this post about him. Hey. He provides a site where we can be politically-incorrect. I don't mind the Cornfed, the Kradmelders, the MoreTorques if the people scared off can be brought back. E.g. where in the world is Ladislav?

[HouseMD]

Winston,
You should really send a copy of this big essay to your son, it'll be great food for thought when he is old enough to understand it.

* Post edited. HouseMD, you do not need to quote my entire huge essay just to make one little point.