Is this unfair on the man's part?

[Zionosis]

Alright guys, this is serious and a real case. Please no trolling, I come on here after a long time because at least online I know the people on here are somewhat sensible people compared to other ridiculous places like yahoo answers.


So basically, I met a filipino woman who lives in Australia. She has a good job (better than mine).

Anyway, after a while talking she said we should meet up. So I booked a motel for us and paid for it, she talked about for ages how we should have sex. But I decided on the first time we meet up it's a bit fast to do that.


Anyway, during the time we spend 3 days together. Now we went out and just hung out in the town we met in, but she expected me to pay for everything. Like literally everything, paying for the motel wasn't enough, I have to pay for all her food also and anything else.


Is it bad of me to think that is kind of unfair since she has a better job than me?

I asked her about it and she said since I am the man I should pay, I kind of think that sounds like BS. I mean that would sound sensible back in the day when women didn't have jobs, but it doesn't at all sound sensible by today's standards.


So I asked a few of my friends, and I told my family and brother also. They all agree that it doesn't sound like a fair situation, and I notice that my brother and his partner don't live like that, my parents don't live like that and no other couple I know lives like that either.
So why should I live like that in an unfair situation?



So I am curious what you guys think, do you think I am being unfair or is she being unfair?

[MrMan]

I'm traditional in this regard. I've also been married over 15 years. But I always paid for everything on dates. I wouldn't want a girl paying for dates, just like I wouldn't want a girl buying me flowers. Maybe if it was my birthday, I wouldn't mind. It doesn't matter at all if your married and share your bank accounts. Since we got married, my wife can pay. It doesn't matter. If I take her out for Valentine's Day, though, I'll use my own bank card instead of hers.

My wife is Indonesia. She says the men always pay on dates. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the deal in the Filippines, too.

[Zambales]

She may have more outgoings than you such as family upkeep back home, but even so, she sounds entitled as well as "loose".

I would give this one a wide berth, mate! She lacks class!

[Zambales]

By the way, is she a permanent resident in Australia?

[chanta76]

A really traditional girl might play that role but to me it might make her sound too selfish . At the sametime she was open to sex on the first meeting? Is that correct? A traditional girl would not do that. I would watch out or just have a good time but dont take her serious.

[Cornfed]

You could argue that since her sexual market value was probably higher than yours in a feminist shithole like Australia you should pay for stuff to make up the difference as a form of quasi-p4p. It sounds like you should have just pumped and dumped her.

[Adama]

Trust your instincts, not your sex drive. Your human instincts and conscience are there for a reason. You don't need to ask us. You already know exactly what is going on. You're looking for outside validation. Outside validation will never be good enough. At least not as good as your own intuition. Pay attention to it, listen to it, obey it and follow it. Don't follow your penis though.

[Zionosis]

She may have more outgoings than you such as family upkeep back home, but even so, she sounds entitled as well as "loose".

I would give this one a wide berth, mate! She lacks class!

She live here permanently and so do here parents and they both work also and are better off than the average Australian citizen.

She expected me to pay for the entire wedding if we had one also, and pay for the whole house.

[Zionosis]

A really traditional girl might play that role but to me it might make her sound too selfish . At the sametime she was open to sex on the first meeting? Is that correct? A traditional girl would not do that. I would watch out or just have a good time but dont take her serious.

She only pretends to be traditional it seems when it suits her, she will throw out any tradition if it doesn't suit her. She says she is a catholic also but she honestly seems worse in moral standards than anyone I have ever met.

I thought about just meeting and trying to have a good time and not take her serious, but it's really hard I guess because I feel she is totally crazy nearly.


She always brings up some past BF in fili also and tries to use him as an excuse why I should pay for everything, it gets rather annoying.

In my opinion I am unsure if her parents sound like very moral people, because she told me that when they moved from QLD to NSW they put their dog down. I asked why and it was apparently for no reason, they just didn't want it anymore and it wasn't even old or anything. Seriously who just puts their dog down because they are bored of it and think it's an inconvenience? That doesn't sound very good to me.

[Zionosis]

You could argue that since her sexual market value was probably higher than yours in a feminist shithole like Australia you should pay for stuff to make up the difference as a form of quasi-p4p. It sounds like you should have just pumped and dumped her.

To be honest, I am better looking than her.

Her body shape isn't that great and it seems the guys she did possibly used her also and didn't intend to be with her, I don't think her sex market value is that high.


Even for a woman who is hot out there I don't think they should think that since they are wanted by a man that they should put that man through an unfair situation to want to be with her, you know women want to be with men also and want to have sex with men also. Despite what Hollywood feminist movies portray.

[Zionosis]

Trust your instincts, not your sex drive. Your human instincts and conscience are there for a reason. You don't need to ask us. You already know exactly what is going on. You're looking for outside validation. Outside validation will never be good enough. At least not as good as your own intuition. Pay attention to it, listen to it, obey it and follow it. Don't follow your penis though.

I guess I know that, yes. Even if many people said I was being unfair (which they aren't) but even if that happened I probably still would choose my own feeling because I know it's true. I know what fairness is, and I think I am being lenient also that I don't even expect a woman to pay 50% in the relationship even if she has an equal job, just as long as she pays at least 30% it won't make me feel like I am a total chump being used etc.


I know a better looking woman from the Philippines who has a better body and face and she also has a better personality, she works over there and I talked to her a lot and she clearly is very far from a gold digger and understands the concept of fairness and clearly is the sort of woman I want, only problem is she is in another country.

[Zionosis]

I have a brother and he is with some pretty half Arabic woman and she is super rich (like 50x more money than he has).

And she pays for a lot of things in their relationship since she simply has far more money, which is fair.

I was tempted to try to throw all Fili's under the bus and just claim as a people they are all just gold diggers and can't understand fairness, but I feel that is a wrong assumption as I have talked to one that was indeed very pretty and also very decent.

I even offered to give her money and she said she can't accept, she is over there working now and it's clear that even though Fili does has a lot of gold diggers that not all women there are like that, many are decent people who understand fairness.


I mean I am someone that if I had a rich wife I wouldn't try to get her to buy things for me, I would only rather that I go half and she only spend as much as I spend if it's a couple thing.

It's no different when having a friend, fair is fair. You both want to be friends with each other so should treat each other fairly, one person shouldn't always be giving while the other is taking.



Basically if someone gets into a relationship with the basis of wanting to be financially benefited from the situation, then in my opinion that isn't a real relationship.

[Adama]

She only pretends to be traditional it seems when it suits her, she will throw out any tradition if it doesn't suit her.

She always brings up some past BF in fili also and tries to use him as an excuse why I should pay for everything, it gets rather annoying.

Do you see? You didn't need to ask us. The truth has already been revealed to you inside your consciousness. The only question is, do you want to accept the truth? Or do you want to find excuses to deny it and deceive yourself?

But now I have even brought this to your awareness. So it should be even more undeniable than before.

[Adama]

Zionosis, why are you even with this woman? You admit you're not overly impressed with her body. She's amoral. You know what she is. What is going on in your mind? Seriously, what are you thinking?

[Zambales]

The more you describe her Zionosis the more it becomes a no-brainer.

If you can't recognize the bad apples maybe it's best to stay out of the market until you can.