Men in inter-racial marriages

[Kradmelder]

Quite a few men on here seem to be in inter-racial marriages and are very happy. They are some of the most sensible content men on this site. i doubt many asian or latino women took them just for money, but rather because they are decent, polite, intelligent and good husbands.

I am very curious. No disrespect meant and I am glad you found happiness, but in your minds how do you resolve the issue that your children and future generations will never be white like your forefathers? Do you not even think about it, do you think about it and it doesn't bother you, or does it sit somewhere in your mind? And what about your families? Do your parents and grand parents accept it? I can understand if it your second marriage and you will not have children again, but for those entering such marriages with the intent to raise a family, did you ever consider this before? How do you explain to the children they belong to neither race? Does it cause problems at school? Do you have cultural conflicts regarding how to raise kids in terms of behaviour, faith, traditions etc?

To me it seems like such a big chasm to jump over, and one I would never consider. But many men have no problem with it.

[MrMan]

Kradmelder,

You are from South Africa, right? I can see why race would be a big deal to you, a descendant of white colonizers living in the midst of a sea of people from Africa. I can understand why descendants of the colonizers wanted to stay in control, especially since they were from a culture that had advanced in education, etc. I can understand how racism would grow up in such an environment.

It's similar to the American South in some ways. In much of the South, blacks were a minority, but Mississippi is about half and half if I recall correctly. After the Civil War, whites were still in power, but had to find ways to maintain that power. Blacks had been slaves, and so of course there was a racist mentality to justify race-based slavery. I am from the South. My grandparents generation would have been very much against racial mixing with blacks. My mom would intellectually not be opposed to it, not as a moral issue, but wouldn't have liked it. I don't have a moral objection to it, but I don't find most women of African descent attractive, unless they look white. I might find some Ethiopians attractive. Just in terms of attraction, I wouldn't have been interested with most African American women. And culturally, if a woman is from inner-city culture with the heavy accent and attitude, that's a big turn-off.

But if a white guy wants to marry a black woman, that's fine with me.

I do find that many white and Asian women are attractive. Attraction was one of many criteria for finding a wife. The most important thing was that she had to be of the same faith.

I am part American Indian on both sides of the family. I hear out west, there is some racism toward Indians, but in the Southeast, most of the Indians were farmers, not horse-back-riding scalping warriors. I don't recall any racial insults toward those who were mixed with American Indian growing up except in old westerns on TV ("Halfbreed!") I hear about a quarter of people in my part of the country are part American Indian. So I am not 'pure white' anyway. I hear one of my ancestors many centuries ago married an 'Indian princess' around the time of the crusades some time after the Norman conquest anyway. I've got some 'Black Dutch' in me which was probably Spanish or Portuguese. They are probably mixed with the Moors. Racial purity is an artificial construct. So is race.

A lot of immigrants to the US are from Latin American, and a lot of them are a mix of southern European and the native peoples of central and South America. Some Latinos are 'purer' European than I am if you go far enough south. Some Mexicans who immigrate to the US have a lot of Native blood. Ethnically, it is not all that far from what we have in the US, except more Indian blood, and southern European instead of northern mixed together. I'm lumping native peoples of North America with Central America when I say that.

The US is not really a 'nation' in the ancient sense of a people-group anyway. It's a mix of people of different races. The white people got all mixed up, Germanic and Celtic people's, for example. Those peoples mixed in Europe since ages past. Then Italians and other Europeans got mixed in with that. There are also blacks. Those who mixed with blacks' descendants traditionally were considered black. Children of American Indians and European descendants either assimilated with whites, or their descendants are in Indian tribes, which are a small minority.

Anyway, I married an Asian woman. Does it bother me that my kids aren't pure white? I'm fine with that. It's a unique experience, I supposed, growing up mixed, but where we used to live in the US, that was the biggest group, mixed kids, mixed with white and Asian for example, so they fit in. In Indonesia, they say kids mixed with Indonesian and white are better looking. I haven't heard of any racism against my kids in the Southeast. I don't think I've never heard of older folks saying racist things against marrying Asians when I was kid, among my grandparents generation.

The only thing is my grandmother said that Asian women look pretty when they are young, but she'd never seen a pretty old Asian woman. I remembered thinking I didn't find old white women to be pretty either, but my grandmother was white and getting up in years, so I didn't say that. She said something like that about Indian (Native American) women.

Being white is probably important to a white South African. Blacks in the US have 'the black experience' and their race is a big part of their identity. Maybe it's like that for white South Africans. It's not that big of a deal to be white in the US. 'White' isn't really a people-group like Irish or Italian is.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

How do you resolve the issue that your children and future generations will never be white like your forefathers?

There is clearly some cultural/nationalistic color to your question, pun intended. I put it to you that men of depth and intellect are far more concerned with the affluence, power and impact of subsequent generations than they are over race.

One of my great, great grandfathers was white. Do you think he would be more proud of the simple fact that some of his offspring were simply white, or that one of his black ones rose to become a world-traveled, self-made millionaire, who served his country in a senior-level position and stands to produce biracial issue of even greater privilege and means?

The important thing to note is that the race of the children is far less important than the success and impact of them. I would gladly choose to have children turn out to be as successful as say, the Obamas, rather than have average offspring who just happen to be white. You might disagree, but if you do, you are grossly overestimating the value of simple "whiteness" in the world outside of South Africa.

[Kradmelder]

How do you resolve the issue that your children and future generations will never be white like your forefathers?

There is clearly some cultural/nationalistic color to your question, pun intended. I put it to you that men of depth and intellect are far more concerned with the affluence, power and impact of subsequent generations than they are over race.

One of my great, great grandfathers was white. Do you think he would be more proud of the simple fact that some of his offspring were simply white, or that one of his black ones rose to become a world-traveled, self-made millionaire, who served his country in a senior-level position and stands to produce biracial issue of even greater privilege and means?

The important thing to note is that the race of the children is far less important than the success and impact of them. I would gladly choose to have children turn out to be as successful as say, the Obamas, rather than have average offspring who just happen to be white. You might disagree, but if you do, you are grossly overestimating the value of simple "whiteness" in the world outside of South Africa.

i value both. Kids must succeed as well as stay white. I see no value in them choosing to become white trash. Success is for their generation though and wealth can be rebuilt. Race cannot. If they go no white it will never be reversed.

But I do see your point.

[Yohan]

I married an Asian woman. Does it bother me that my kids aren't pure white? I'm fine with that.

I fully agree with you.

I am married to an Asian woman as well. It does not bother me at all that my children are not pure white, and I never had any complaint from my 2 daughters about suffering any form of discrimination here in Japan or during vacation in Thailand or in any other county in Asia about being 'white/Asian-mixed-race'.

----

However there are 2 sides of the story, we have to listen to both of them.

Kradmelder also made some good points. Out of my personal experience over 6 years, I really have to say the difference between Asian people and white people is much smaller than between white/Asian vs. black people.

In Far East Asia I often have the feeling about 10 people that 7 are good, 2 are 50/50 and 1 is a useless person. Quite similar to what I was thinking while still in Europe about white people.

However when I had to do a lot with black people coming from Africa for educational reason to Japan I noticed (and not only me!) that this proportion does not fit. It was just the opposite, 7 out of 10 were shockingly useless, about 2 were so 50/50, and only 1 out of 10 was really OK.

Exactly these black people, who were OK gave us a big headache, because after finishing their education in Japan, they refused to go back to Africa to their own countrymen and did everything possible to settle down in Japan, regardless from which African country they were originally coming from... and don't ask me what these talented black people told me...

A few of them managed to stay in Japan over decades, other moved over to France/Belgium (I had only to do with students from former French colonies). They were working day and night to repay their student loans to be released of their education contract straight after graduation. I cannot blame them, they clearly preferred to live among the Japanese or Europeans, they did not want to go back to teach their own countrymen.

[yick]

I am mixed race and grew in an all white community. I think where to bring mixed race kids up shouldn't be underestimated in any single way.

If I were to have kids with a Chinese woman, I would never bring them up in the UK and I certainly wouldn't bring them up in my former hometown -there are plenty of places where they would adjust better and be more 'accepted' Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia are just three where there are reasonable Eurasian populations where there seems to be no real prejudices.

It's not for everyone and there are a fair few men who should have really 'stuck to their own kind' than marry Asian women - a lot of these men are racist and refuse to give up their beliefs of white superiority - that's going to f**k a kid up badly if he hears his dads racism and looks into the mirror and sees he isn't white himself.

There has to be a lot of consideration and thought into marrying and producing kids with a woman who isn't your race/nationality/culture.

[Adama]

It seems like they just have an extremely different racial outlook, and therefore it doesn't concern them nearly as much. Besides that, it isn't the goal of most people to repopulate the world for their race. The things which racialists concern themselves with just do not concern people who are not racialists.

[Kradmelder]

Contra and Johan, it isn't only an issue of whiteness. A black man an Asian Man, they would face the same issues if they cross the race line. It sounds like contra is at a point where it is a non-issue. Yick sees the issues and sees limitations as to where you can raise kids. So obviously factors them in.

[Wolfeye]

Kradmelder: I tend somewhat toward latinas & would think sometimes about my descendants at least having a really complicated background & eventually not knowing. I think it's good to mix by dynamics- if the cultures work out. I think Slavic & Latin mixes well- Italian, Spanish, Portuguese included (not just Latin America).

The thing is, a lot of cultures (at least the America-esque ones) are big about things that are culturally destructive (arrogance, being anti-distinctiveness, constant lawsuits & paranoia, control freak tendencies, bureaucratic insanity, etc...). That's the effect I worry about most.

[OutWest]

Quite a few men on here seem to be in inter-racial marriages and are very happy. They are some of the most sensible content men on this site. i doubt many asian or latino women took them just for money, but rather because they are decent, polite, intelligent and good husbands.

I am very curious. No disrespect meant and I am glad you found happiness, but in your minds how do you resolve the issue that your children and future generations will never be white like your forefathers? Do you not even think about it, do you think about it and it doesn't bother you, or does it sit somewhere in your mind? And what about your families? Do your parents and grand parents accept it? I can understand if it your second marriage and you will not have children again, but for those entering such marriages with the intent to raise a family, did you ever consider this before? How do you explain to the children they belong to neither race? Does it cause problems at school? Do you have cultural conflicts regarding how to raise kids in terms of behaviour, faith, traditions etc?

To me it seems like such a big chasm to jump over, and one I would never consider. But many men have no problem with it.

Life sneaks up on you. By the time I met my wife, I had spent years outside the USA, in Latin America and Asia. When I was 36, divorced from an American woman, no kids and footloose and fancy free. I did not see myself as an aspiring family man, so I went for the horizons. It is an intoxicating thing. I worked in an exciting job, lived the life that my old buds in the USA regarded with amazement and jealousy. I met old expats that had not been back to the USA in decades. I could see that I was never going to be that yank living in the suburbs and doing the big normal. My ancestors came to the New World hundreds of years ago, leaving everything behind, they literally changed their whole line of history.
Eventually I began to see that I was never going to be living in the USA with a white girl with 2 kids and all that. So in a way, I felt I had nothing to lose, I could forge a new line, and if I had children, they would be that mixed line.
So I ended up with One ex Filipina wife and my current wife, and a total of three children, In Latin America as well as the Philippines, Mestizos are a definite type, almost a race in a way. Unlike some places, a mestizo in the Philippines is not at all looked down on. I had a grandmother that would not have thought much of my marriage to an Asian, but would have ended up loving her great grandchildren if she knew them. My aged mother loves my wife even though she cannot imagine that I am married to an Asian, though my wife treats her with such grace and kindness, who could resist it? I have three great kids and to me, its a miracle I have any at all. I consider myself lucky.

[MrMan]

Preserving the white race does not factor in to my list of priorities at all.

[Kradmelder]

Preserving the white race does not factor in to my list of priorities at all.

That is a large difference between us. I see it as a duty after 1000 years of white people struggling to survive and prosper. Now my turn is almost past except ensuring the next generation has the skills. I had my kids, and my two must each make 2 white ones and give them the tools to prosper. These days it is not warrior skills but education and a drive to succeed. And a sense of duty to God race and nation.

Your story is interesting and sounds like circumstance. Where you were blown. But you ended up happy. Far better off than some of those jumping up and down on the sidelines on here.

I see your point af not being a 9 to 5 suburbanite. That would kill my soul as well. I need to live as a free white man in a more chaotic lawless place with a sense of a bigger purpose and where only the strong survive. I need sun and warmth on my skin open space and the wind in my face. In laager with other proud white people prepared to stand up for their people is fine by me. I don't need safety and security like a tame house cat. Nor am I the type to cut and run to Australia and leave old white people in the lurch and defenceless. The USA suburbs would kill me. What a soulless purposeless life.

Glad you are happy mate, and with a sense of satisfaction in life.

[jamesbond]

Here is an interesting video regarding inter racial marriages.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBK5o7V6Nw0[/youtube]

[MrMan]

Kradmelder,

I guess I can see how white South Africans could develop a strong sense of identity, white pride, etc. You guys are a minority. Blacks in the US are the same way, with black pride being a thing since the 1960's.

But 'white' isn't really much of an ethnic identity. The English were one people-group. The Dutch were another. But they mixed together down there in South Africa, and their descendants are 'white' and see each other as part of the same group. The English used to be different distinct people-groups, Celtic; Anglo, Saxon, or Jute; Norse. Their ancestors mixed together and made an ethnic group that calls itself English.

American whites are a mix of all kinds of ethnic groups, English, Irish, Scottish, and German. Also, various other people-groups blended in: Italians, etc. The English and Irish used to fight each other. The English used to fight the Scotts.

You see these people as 'white.' I can see, if you were surrounded by a sea of Africans that whites ruled until the 1980's, how you could think that way. That doesn't mean the rest of us do.

Like I said, I'm part American Indian, so I'm not pure white anyway.

I don't see why you would consider reproducing with a white woman to make white kids to be a part of your duty to God. When did God ever command that Gentiles do not intermix? As long as Christians marry Christians, what does it matter what the race is? Btw, Moses married an Ethiopian/Cushite woman. Not doing pump and dump is part of your duty to God.

[Adama]

Kradmelder,
I don't see why you would consider reproducing with a white woman to make white kids to be a part of your duty to God. When did God ever command that Gentiles do not intermix? As long as Christians marry Christians, what does it matter what the race is? Btw, Moses married an Ethiopian/Cushite woman. Not doing pump and dump is part of your duty to God.

All nations are of one blood. All races are intermixed.

Yes, in addition to Moses's wife being Ethiopian, his own sister criticized him and received a punishment for it.

In addition to that, we know from Proverbs that a person who mocks the poor is reproaching God. How much is a person who mocks an entire race made in His image?

But truly, I think if a person is overcome by hatred for one thing, they are simply consumed with hatred and have hatred for most things that they're unfamiliar with. They'll revile anything that they don't personally do themselves. And also anyone who isn't very similar to them.