My Shenyang girlfriend wants me to carry her bag.

[lovingman1970]

My Shenyang girlfriend keeps complaining about me not carrying her handbag every time we go out for a date. She would always say I don’t love her enough and I am no romantic. Seriously, is that even necessary? I mean, foreigners are not really romantic like what they used to appear in some movies or whatever. I have observed that my girlfriend usually carries unnecessary stuffs in her bag which make it heavier. Is she doing that so I will carry it for her? Is that how Shenyang women define sweetness? Help!

[Winston]

What's the big deal? Carry her purse then. I don't mind doing that. It's a bit cute and romantic. As long as she's not too demanding and asking for tons of gifts, that's no biggie. Come on. You gotta be a gentlemen too.

[xtravel]

My Shenyang girlfriend keeps complaining about me not carrying her handbag every time we go out for a date. She would always say I don’t love her enough and I am no romantic. Seriously, is that even necessary? I mean, foreigners are not really romantic like what they used to appear in some movies or whatever. I have observed that my girlfriend usually carries unnecessary stuffs in her bag which make it heavier. Is she doing that so I will carry it for her? Is that how Shenyang women define sweetness? Help!

Take charge. Next time you see her, offer to carry her big hand bag, and then reveal the smaller hand bag you bought for $5. Go through her stuff and put the essentials in the small bag. Toss the rest in a trash bin. Hand her the smaller, lighter bag, for her to carry.

[Zambales]

Tell her you're uncomfortable carrying her handbag and you don't like being emotionally blackmailed. If she carries on moaning she doesn't respect you enough so get rid.

[snede]

She is trying to mark her territory. Maybe tease her about that.

[Ted333]

My Shenyang girlfriend keeps complaining about me not carrying her handbag every time we go out for a date. She would always say I don’t love her enough and I am no romantic. Seriously, is that even necessary? I mean, foreigners are not really romantic like what they used to appear in some movies or whatever. I have observed that my girlfriend usually carries unnecessary stuffs in her bag which make it heavier. Is she doing that so I will carry it for her? Is that how Shenyang women define sweetness? Help!

My opinion and advice and respectfully, a resounding NO! Men don't carry purses, women do.

It's one thing to watch your woman's purse if she get's up from the table for a second, but holding it like you are her servant? Hell no..she will lose respect for you since you caved in to her demands. Also NEVER sit on a chair by the fitting room while she is trying on clothes and you are holding the ones to be tried on like a clothes rack..bad moves.

[growup]

Research her culture.
Is there something in the background that would make her think you carrying her purse is a sign of love/sweetness?
Then...talk to her. Tell her it makes you uncomfortable.
If she's a woman worth her salt, she will be understanding.

[Zambales]

Research her culture.
Is there something in the background that would make her think you carrying her purse is a sign of love/sweetness?
Then...talk to her. Tell her it makes you uncomfortable.
If she's a woman worth her salt, she will be understanding.

A possibility I suppose although the "you don't love me" part just doesn't sit right with me. Who knows? He could succumb to her demands and she could up the ante by requesting for X amount of money for instance. If he declines out pours the "you don't love me" bullshit again.

[growup]

If English is a problem, maybe "you don't love me" might be her way of saying something like "you don't like me"...
I don't know. English is a tricky language. I had to learn it from scratch myself and I'm sure I said some boneheaded things while I was learning.
I agree though, asking for money, etc. is bullshit.

[Bao3niang]

As a Chinese guy I'm used to it and don't mind it at all. I think it's cute, and I'm perfectly fine with it. When I was with my ex-girlfriends from mainland China, Megan and Lu, I voluntarily helped them carry their bags, backpacks etc. Its just part of the culture and I think it's a very gentlemanly thing to do.

[Yohan]

My opinion and advice and respectfully, a resounding NO! Men don't carry purses, women do.

It's one thing to watch your woman's purse if she get's up from the table for a second, but holding it like you are her servant? Hell no..she will lose respect for you since you caved in to her demands...

I agree with your comment. This girl sounds like a moaning minnie who needs a servant and not a boyfriend.

[Yohan]

What's the big deal? Carry her purse then. I don't mind doing that. It's a bit cute and romantic. As long as she's not too demanding and asking for tons of gifts, that's no biggie. Come on. You gotta be a gentlemen too.

Sorry, but I see nothing cute or romantic coming from girls who expect their boyfriends to be their porters....

It's ok to help with luggage of course while boarding an airplane etc. - but to carry more or less automatically anything what belongs to the girl like her handbag is too much to ask for.

[SteveUKR]

Her having you carry her bag is to gain control over you. If you carry her bag then you'll do other things she wants.

Nip it in the bud and politely refuse.