When reading intercultural study books, the reference point is almost always America. For example, when one studies a foreign dating scene, the author is usually American or Western. They use their own culture as a measure to qualify and quantify the characteristics of the society they are describing.
What if I describe the American dating and social life for men from a unique, Ukrainian perspective? Let me try- because I am a resident of Ukraine. Thus, in comparison to Ukraine, this is what I see in the US as far as a single male life goes. If you use Ukraine as a reference point this is the description of it:
If you are an American patriot, please don’t read it.
1) In the USA, there are way more good looking young guys than good looking young gals. Anywhere and everywhere at all times. In some places, it’s more so, in some places it’s less so, but this reality remains constant.
2)
When one sees a beautiful blonde girl in a US movie, or as a singer on TV, she is really like one in a thousand. In Ukraine, they are like three in ten.
Such Slavic ladies as Ivanka or Melania are about number 6 and 5 in Ukraine. They are girls you see as cashiers and waitresses. In the US, you can go for months without seeing one like that. In Ukraine, you stand on the street corner, count to five and see a knock-out pass by.
Girls in the USA make very little eye contact with others, especially with men, and appear self absorbed. Many look smug and self-satisfied. When walking, they are either lost in thought or looking straight ahead with steely eyes, without observing the surroundings. Totally into themselves. In Ukraine, they look shy but they still look around and observe you. A furtive glance, then, they look away. And, there is no fear in their eyes.
3) In most American states, most girls have a much better social dating life than most guys. Even very unattractive girls get good looking boyfriends.
4) Americans in general don’t like to dress up, and the Puritanical heritage dictates that one must use subdued colors with no patterns. Girls dress even worse than guys and still get the guy! Melania Trump with her class and fashion looks freaky to American women. And any guy who likes to dress well or be fashionable in the US, will be accused of being gay. The same for a guy who likes art and poetry. Nothing like this in Ukraine.
5) Girls in the US often talk in a dictatorial, strong voice-- and lecture guys. Like an empress lecturing a serf. The guy cringes and smiles sheepishly. Some women yell at men. A confident American is usually a woman. A sweet, polite, humble American-- and sometimes even a dorky, clumsy one-- is a man. I saw a show on TV in Ohio once, in which a girl in a junior high school kicked a boy. The audience was cheering.
This would be unheard of in Ukraine. A man/boy is a defender of the nation, someone who puts his life on the line for the country. A woman treats a man nicely, and a man treats a woman nicely. They respect each other naturally.
Ukrainians are shy people, but there is no misandry. You can talk to waitresses, cashiers, promo girls, students and there is no hostility.
6) In the USA, you can be arrested for trying to pick up a lady. Just like in Saudi Arabia or Iran. Think about it! Even if you look at someone too long or make an innocent talk, this can be interpreted as sexual harassment-- and you can lose your job or be visited upon by cops or security guards. Saudi Arabia anyone? In Ukraine, you can just talk to any girl and ask her to meet you for tea, coffee, grab something to eat, and this is how you meet people. Naturally. There is no word for “creep” in the Ukrainian language.
7) Americans are generally quite xenophobic (as in fearful of strangers). Most have own cliques and stick with the people in those cliques. It’s very hard for a stranger to break into it. Those cliques are regional based, school based, race based, politics based, but it’s not a very open society. Many guys must establish a relationship with a girl in high school as well as with a group of friends.
In the US, feminist brainwashing plus the xenophobia affect the lady’s minds. Many look at men with already a preconceived idea in their eyes. They smile, but there is deep mistrust seen in them. It takes a long time for them to trust a guy because of all the brainwashing. Plus, it just generally takes longer for people to get to know each other even though on surface Americans appear friendlier and Ukrainians appear gloomier.
In America, homosexuality and lesbianism are now seen as perfectly normal, whereas in Ukraine, they are seen as a mental disorder and a horrible perversion. Similar to scatology of bestiality. No open gay activities are tolerated. Only because of the EU pressure and one of the conditions for giving Ukraine visa free regime, did Ukraine hold a gay parade with a few hundred coming out. They had to have a row of cops on each side as a crowd was about to knife them. Totally unaccepted there. Because of that, guys can have close friendships and not fear that the other person is gay. In the USA, there is always a suspicion that any man that wants to have a beer with you is a homosexual. Hence, guys are very fearful of friendships with strange men. And guys in general see each other as competitors making life in the US lonely for guys. 9) In Ukraine, you go to a disco and come out with a girlfriend. Many girls go there in groups to meet guys. And guys go in groups to meet girls. This is how young people often meet there. There are no sausage fests. In the US, there are all these sausage parties with guys putting on bravado but coming back alone. Often, people go with groups of those they already know and dance with them.
Ukrainian strip bars or go-go bars always have more girls dancing than guys in the audience. In the US/ Canada, it’s again, almost always more guys than girls.
10) Finally, there is pretty much no more such thing as a virgin lady in the USA. In Ukraine, quite a few still are, particularly in areas outside of big cities. No father wants his daughter to be known as a floozy and/ or a slut in a small town. And no guy wants to date/ marry a slut there. And even if she is not a virgin, her sex history will not be too long. Ukrainian guys on the other hand, do have more experience. In the USA, it seems like girls have more fun than guys. And there are virgin guys in the USA.
Life is not that great for an average American man socially and romantically speaking, but because he has not traveled to other countries, he may not be aware of it. If he has no GF and no wife, he’s told that it’s his fault and that he needs to improve himself. Take a class or something.
No such teaching exists in Ukraine.
Blessed are those men who travel, who treat the entire world as their home, who live international lives. They get to enjoy lots of benefits.
Signing off.
Greetings from Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
