Finding a Filipina...

[yick]

Though there is a load of information, I am after a wife and the mother of my children so I am not on a shagging pursuit as such.

Me: Middle aged though look young, over six foot tall, have all my own hair , in regular, well paid employment, already live in Asia and when lockdown is lifted, so a few hours away from the Philippines, I have a masters degree and I am reasonable looking.

Would like: A girl with a good education, a nurse or someone with a degree - lawyer, bank worker... I don't know, someone with something about them, in their twenties, childless and obviously nice looking - am I asking for the moon on a stick?

I tried FilipinoCupid but all I seemed to have got were scamming single mums with false names who had birthdays the day after we made contact I would like a quality lady with an education and goals. How do I go about finding her? There are over 100 million people in the Philippines and the median age of women there is 24 - so - a good place to look. Maybe I didn't give FilipinoCupid enough of a chance and should have stuck it out longer.

I am also a dual national and am in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship so if we marry, she can get Spanish citizenship in a year, I am also from a Latin American family so her culture is not so alien to what I am used to anyway and she would be fine amongst my family, the would all accept her without question.

Lots of info on here, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it outdated, give me your path to victory! Thanks!

[yick]

Not the most easiest of finds, but definitely doable. Try to get Tinder and put the settings on "Manila" or whatever major city, you'll get to chat to girls in the area, if your own location says you're nearby, you can talk to them. These girls tend to be a bit more 'classy' and younger, less single moms although you'll still run in your fair share and, worst of all, some will not disclose their motherhood status until later, which is a waste of time.

Next, if you find someone, and find one you will, make sure you are compatible with her. For example, a Filipina, no matter how will educated and clever, even the not-so-religious or traditional ones, will be very adamant about having a family. This is kind of a non-negotiable fact of life; 99.9% of Filipinas you'll encounter will want to have a kid. Especially a half-foreign one with a tall man who has all his hair, as you describe yourself. It'd be like hitting the genetic jackpot for them and they'd milk that... and you.

So this is something for you to consider. Do you want a fling, a girlfriend, a friend-with-benefits? Or do you want a wife, to be the mother of your kids? A childless young Filipina will expect you will give her a child sooner or later. The only ones who may not have such a demand are the ones who already have a child or children. Girls in Europe, China or Japan are a lot more likely to be cool with never having a family. In the Philippines, such a girl is a unicorn and for her to meet all your other requirements on top of that, next to zero. Food for thought, I hope. It all depends on what you want in life. At the end of the day, you HAVE to be compatible or it'll be a waste of your time and hers.

The best quality women will always be the ones introduced to you by others, however. Or the ones you meet in person somewhere at an event, project or work related situation. Finding quality online, while not impossible, is becoming increasingly more difficult.

Thanks Marcos, I was thinking that might be the case and that I would need to be there for a fairly long period of time. Which I might do one day when I have sorted everything else out (pension, apartment and Spanish citizenship...) spend two years or so over there finding someone nice.

I am not going to bother messing about flings, I am just past that age now, I am more looking at creating a family with a decent woman. I wouldn't mind having children and I think I would make a good dad, and though I have massive respect for any man who takes on another man's kid - it's not for me I am afraid. Saying that, I would love to have a kid with the right woman.

I was thinking it might be with a Chinese woman but I am realising my age and the culture here is against me, more my age than the culture but the culture doesn't help. I don't think a Filipina in Latin America (or Spain...) would have much trouble fitting in. Though there are loads of great girls in China - for a lot of them, their path is already determined by their overbearing families and the culture. A foreigner doesn't fit into it.

Children are great, but I had the feeling it is going to take a big old chunk of time being on the ground and that is do-able. I suppose a trip out to the Philippines is something I need to do once this lockdown is over just to have a look-see! Anyway, thanks Marcos!

[MrMan]

Though there is a load of information, I am after a wife and the mother of my children so I am not on a shagging pursuit as such.

Me: Middle aged though look young, over six foot tall, have all my own hair , in regular, well paid employment, already live in Asia and when lockdown is lifted, so a few hours away from the Philippines, I have a masters degree and I am reasonable looking.

Would like: A girl with a good education, a nurse or someone with a degree - lawyer, bank worker... I don't know, someone with something about them, in their twenties, childless and obviously nice looking - am I asking for the moon on a stick?

I tried FilipinoCupid but all I seemed to have got were scamming single mums with false names who had birthdays the day after we made contact I would like a quality lady with an education and goals. How do I go about finding her? There are over 100 million people in the Philippines and the median age of women there is 24 - so - a good place to look. Maybe I didn't give FilipinoCupid enough of a chance and should have stuck it out longer.

I am also a dual national and am in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship so if we marry, she can get Spanish citizenship in a year, I am also from a Latin American family so her culture is not so alien to what I am used to anyway and she would be fine amongst my family, the would all accept her without question.

Lots of info on here, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it outdated, give me your path to victory! Thanks!

Were you previously married? Are you widowed or divorced? Divorce is basically illegal in the Philippines.

It could be that there is a sort of 'industry' so to speak of Filippina online scammers. I have read about Russian and Filippina women having a lot of online boyfriends and hitting them up for money. The Russian thing I read about were companies that put up model's pictures and had less attractive women chatting with men to try to get them to give gifts online through the website. The Filippinas I've read about hang out on the Internet all day, hitting up their many boyfriends to pay money for light bills, sick mothers in the hospital, etc. There are probably some legitimate singles online looking for spouses. Single mothers who can't find a husband in the Philippines may be able to find a western man who doesn't mind raising another man's children.

I agree that it is best to be there and meet people through your social network or through engaging in activities there.

I haven't heard of Indonesian scammers when it comes to online dating. I know a few couples who met online before online dating became quite as industrialized as it is today. When I was in Jakarta, a young couple who married just before my wife and I did had met on a non-dating chat forum. Her username had NYC in it. He thought she was from there. It turns out she lived close. They met, started dating, and got married. He was an American teaching there, and she was local.

We had a get together at our house once. A girl from church came over. I thought she was a girl. She was 40, but didn't look it. She'd just been busy with work and had never married. I'd estimate she was a 7 or so for looks, maybe a little better, but single. She asked my wife how to find a husband, since she liked white guys. I guess I was considered a prize because she got that question from time to time. I told her she could go to one of the Internet rooms, learn how to use the Internet and start chatting with men overseas. She came to another get-together a year later and she'd gotten engaged. They married and moved to Virginia. The last I heard, they were still married. My wife and I just had a picnic last weekend with another couple who had married around that time, a white man with an Indonesian women. She was probably in her late 30's when they married. They adopted a little blonde boy. We had another friend who married a Dutch guy around that time. They took us out for one of those hibachi grill buffets when we first got to Jakarta last time with a group of other people.

When women hit 30 or so, and they haven't married over there, they get a little more serious. There are also match-ups through social networks. My wife is a prize, too, and if we get to know men who seem to have it together, usually guys from church who are middle aged and haven't found the right woman, my wife may ask around to relatives in her family or people in her social network there who aren't married. No match-ups yet. We wouldn't do that for someone off a forum like that, though. But if you know someone personally, that's a possibility. We've got a friend in a previous state we lived in who we know from a church-related activity who owns his own business. He's been busy with work and hasn't found someone he wants to marry yet. He's 40+. My wife asked the mom of a pretty girl who is probably about 30 right now, a cousin, if she's interested in getting to know him. The young woman doesn't do much online, apparently, and I don't know if she's heard back. She'd tried to match him up with a 19 or 20-year-old niece, but she didn't want an old white man. Her mom talked about someone she knew in the family or social network who was 27, single, and so socially awkward that she would need to be 'dijodoin'-- matched up.

In Indonesia, it seems like young people are not usually pushed or directed into marriage that much by their parents. Their parents may give advice, but a lot of them are given some freedom to meet someone in college or the village or whatever. Then, if they get to a certain age, especially 30 plus, and especially for the women, the family may start trying to help. In my wife's tribe, there are certain cousins they can marry and certain cousins they can't marry. (They cannot be from the same family name, generally, a similar rule to the one in Korean culture.) I know a few relatives (out of hundreds) on her side of the family that I know married their cousins. One had been knocked up in her 20's and was single into her 30's. She married a cousin with a different family name and had kids with him.

Another was a young man when we'd left Indonesia previously. When we returned, he was in his late 20's and married to another cousin who was probably several years older than him, not a knock out but not a bad-looking cousin. My wife had commented that the male cousin was good-looking, so I wondered why he would marry a cousin. So at a family get together, one of the many funeral-related meetings, he went outside for a bit. I went out to chat with him. I asked him some questions about how he got married. Did he got to a family reunion and their eyes met and he fell in love? When I talked about falling in love, he said it wasn't like that, 'older brother'. Marriages like this draw the family closer together. He seemed to have an aversion to talking about 'cinta'-- being in love. I was teasing him a bit.

My wife grew up in the city and always thought of marrying a cousin as gross. They did sort of make me her cousin, but she was cool with that. We aren't blood relatives.

Anyway, the things is when a girl hits her late 20's or early 30's in these cultures, they get serious about marriage and so do their families. In Indonesia, marrying a foreigner is considered a social step up for a lot of Indonesians, still, because western countries are rich. The same seems to be true in the Philippines. My experience is that Koreans tend to have an aversion to marrying outside of their race. I get the sense that some Chinese may be the same. A fellow English teacher when I was in Korea said a half-Korean, half-white kid he knew was asked why he didn't go to his home country. A lot of the Indonesian people-groups there will accept people who are not fully a part of that tribe. Unlike Korea, Indonesia has multiple tribes/ethnic groups. So they tend to have social rules that allow accepting the kids into the group. I think with the Javanese if the dad is Javanese, the kids are too. With the Padang, if the mother is Padang, the kids are Padang. With the Batak, they could even adopt a foreign couple into the tribe if a father and mother want to give their family name and the adoptees are willing to pay for the party. So they can adopt a spouse in, too under the same circumstances. If you marry according to custom, they kind of accept you if you don't do the adoption party, too. I'm on that middle ground myself right now, since I haven't thrown the party and followed the customs to be fully accepted into the family that gave me the family name. Parties there involve slaughtering a pig/pigs or water buffalo and feeding hundreds of people, or just paying for the hall.

I'm not sure how all that translates into finding a woman in the Philippines, but I suspect there is a certain age where the women are starting to get desperate. They say if someone hasn't married by a certain age, other Filippinos don't want them, thinking something must be wrong with the individual for him/her not to have found someone. I'm not sure the magic number. It's probably somewhere between 27 and 30, when women can still be reasonably pretty and fertile. In Indonesia, it's hard to find a single woman that age unless there is some issue, like looks or having a child out of wedlock (which seems rare enough.) But for some women it is just too much focus on their career.

In both cultures, expect to either send some money to her parents when they get older or have her work and do it. I think we send my wife's dad about $70 a month, which isn't much. If he has other kids, especially a financially responsible established son older than your daughter, your burden may be shared with them. That is not the case with her dad's sons. One of the other daughters sends money. Another daughter lives there and cooks for him.

[yick]

Though there is a load of information, I am after a wife and the mother of my children so I am not on a shagging pursuit as such.

Me: Middle aged though look young, over six foot tall, have all my own hair , in regular, well paid employment, already live in Asia and when lockdown is lifted, so a few hours away from the Philippines, I have a masters degree and I am reasonable looking.

Would like: A girl with a good education, a nurse or someone with a degree - lawyer, bank worker... I don't know, someone with something about them, in their twenties, childless and obviously nice looking - am I asking for the moon on a stick?

I tried FilipinoCupid but all I seemed to have got were scamming single mums with false names who had birthdays the day after we made contact I would like a quality lady with an education and goals. How do I go about finding her? There are over 100 million people in the Philippines and the median age of women there is 24 - so - a good place to look. Maybe I didn't give FilipinoCupid enough of a chance and should have stuck it out longer.

I am also a dual national and am in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship so if we marry, she can get Spanish citizenship in a year, I am also from a Latin American family so her culture is not so alien to what I am used to anyway and she would be fine amongst my family, the would all accept her without question.

Lots of info on here, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it outdated, give me your path to victory! Thanks!

Were you previously married? Are you widowed or divorced? Divorce is basically illegal in the Philippines.

Never been married, nobody would have me.

[CannedHam]

Make sure her family is at least somewhat well-off and of decent education, unless you want to be supporting your wife/kids, your wife's parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, etc. I agree with the posters above that you better be ready to have a family unless you find the super rare unicorn.

I think Chinese women are superior, in general, to Filipinas, who are mostly lazy, unmotivated spendthrifts who view high-education as a negative and let themselves go bigtime after age 30. I f***ing hate the lazy, party, idgaf, gossip culture of the Philippines. It's fine for retirement but not for living a "real life" with kids and jobs.

If you're 50+ you're definitely going to have a hard time finding a decent single, childless woman in the 20-30 range in China, but 30-35 is definitely possible (lots of unmarried childless women in that range), and you'll have a huge selection of 35+ if you're into that age range as well, but a lot will be single moms or at the very least divorced. Your height and education will help a lot with Chinese women.

[MrMan]

Though there is a load of information, I am after a wife and the mother of my children so I am not on a shagging pursuit as such.

Me: Middle aged though look young, over six foot tall, have all my own hair , in regular, well paid employment, already live in Asia and when lockdown is lifted, so a few hours away from the Philippines, I have a masters degree and I am reasonable looking.

Would like: A girl with a good education, a nurse or someone with a degree - lawyer, bank worker... I don't know, someone with something about them, in their twenties, childless and obviously nice looking - am I asking for the moon on a stick?

I tried FilipinoCupid but all I seemed to have got were scamming single mums with false names who had birthdays the day after we made contact I would like a quality lady with an education and goals. How do I go about finding her? There are over 100 million people in the Philippines and the median age of women there is 24 - so - a good place to look. Maybe I didn't give FilipinoCupid enough of a chance and should have stuck it out longer.

I am also a dual national and am in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship so if we marry, she can get Spanish citizenship in a year, I am also from a Latin American family so her culture is not so alien to what I am used to anyway and she would be fine amongst my family, the would all accept her without question.

Lots of info on here, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it outdated, give me your path to victory! Thanks!

Were you previously married? Are you widowed or divorced? Divorce is basically illegal in the Philippines.

Never been married, nobody would have me.

Okay, I wanted to clarify that the mother to the children thing was about future kids.

I think you are going to have to go there and get to know people. Is there are Philippino community where you live? You could make some friends, invite some Filippinos to social functions, get invited to some social functions, then tell some of your friends that you are looking for a wife and what you are looking for. They may get out their phones and start showing you nieces and cousins on Facebook or Instagram. If you seem like a nice, decent man and you are looking for a wife to be faithful to for life, who they believe you will treat well, and you are looking for a good wife and mother, they may be inclined to help you if they think you are a good match. Having a good, stable job or business helps. Having your life together helps. If you know them well enough, you can tell them you are looking for someone pretty and thin, too. You might not want five aunties with their phones out all at once competing. One of them, one girl at a time would probably work best. The auntie or cousin can send a message to the girl or her mom or dad about you. Wait to hear back. If that doesn't work out, try the next one. It's safer than trying to date online the regular way since the girl will probably not want to get in trouble with the aunt or cousin or other family members by scamming you, two-timing you with other men online, etc. If the aunt talks to the mom, the mom will tell her if she's dating someone. If you do this through the family network and it does lead to marriage, the parents, who can veto a marriage proposal, may think you have already been vetted by aunt so-and-so so it gives you a leg up over meeting a girl at a social event.

[yick]

Make sure her family is at least somewhat well-off unless you want to be supporting your family, your wife's parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, etc. I agree with the posters above that you better be ready to have a family.

I think Chinese women are superior, in general, to Filipinas, who are mostly lazy spendthrifts who view high-education as a negative and let themselves go bigtime after age 30.

If you're 50+ you're definitely going to have a hard time finding a decent single, childless woman in the 20-30 range in China, but 30-35 is definitely possible (lots of unmarried desperate women in that range), and you'll have you're pick of 35+ if you're into that age range as well, but they'll likely be single moms or at the very least divorced.

Cheers!

I am not quite yet 50 but I am heading there a lot sooner than I would like the one thing that has stopped me before is paying out for family members which is why I would rather the lady in question had prospects and an education so she can deal with that side of it with some of her earnings, I am not against it per se - but I don't want to be footing the bill to it all.

[yick]

Though there is a load of information, I am after a wife and the mother of my children so I am not on a shagging pursuit as such.

Me: Middle aged though look young, over six foot tall, have all my own hair , in regular, well paid employment, already live in Asia and when lockdown is lifted, so a few hours away from the Philippines, I have a masters degree and I am reasonable looking.

Would like: A girl with a good education, a nurse or someone with a degree - lawyer, bank worker... I don't know, someone with something about them, in their twenties, childless and obviously nice looking - am I asking for the moon on a stick?

I tried FilipinoCupid but all I seemed to have got were scamming single mums with false names who had birthdays the day after we made contact I would like a quality lady with an education and goals. How do I go about finding her? There are over 100 million people in the Philippines and the median age of women there is 24 - so - a good place to look. Maybe I didn't give FilipinoCupid enough of a chance and should have stuck it out longer.

I am also a dual national and am in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship so if we marry, she can get Spanish citizenship in a year, I am also from a Latin American family so her culture is not so alien to what I am used to anyway and she would be fine amongst my family, the would all accept her without question.

Lots of info on here, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it outdated, give me your path to victory! Thanks!

No Filipinos where I am, it might need a trip out there as soon as this pandemic is done and dusted. I don't really know any Filipinos to be honest. I am going into this blind!
Were you previously married? Are you widowed or divorced? Divorce is basically illegal in the Philippines.

Never been married, nobody would have me.

Okay, I wanted to clarify that the mother to the children thing was about future kids.

I think you are going to have to go there and get to know people. Is there are Philippino community where you live? You could make some friends, invite some Filippinos to social functions, get invited to some social functions, then tell some of your friends that you are looking for a wife and what you are looking for. They may get out their phones and start showing you nieces and cousins on Facebook or Instagram. If you seem like a nice, decent man and you are looking for a wife to be faithful to for life, who they believe you will treat well, and you are looking for a good wife and mother, they may be inclined to help you if they think you are a good match. Having a good, stable job or business helps. Having your life together helps. If you know them well enough, you can tell them you are looking for someone pretty and thin, too.

[yick]

Though there is a load of information, I am after a wife and the mother of my children so I am not on a shagging pursuit as such.

Me: Middle aged though look young, over six foot tall, have all my own hair , in regular, well paid employment, already live in Asia and when lockdown is lifted, so a few hours away from the Philippines, I have a masters degree and I am reasonable looking.

Would like: A girl with a good education, a nurse or someone with a degree - lawyer, bank worker... I don't know, someone with something about them, in their twenties, childless and obviously nice looking - am I asking for the moon on a stick?

I tried FilipinoCupid but all I seemed to have got were scamming single mums with false names who had birthdays the day after we made contact I would like a quality lady with an education and goals. How do I go about finding her? There are over 100 million people in the Philippines and the median age of women there is 24 - so - a good place to look. Maybe I didn't give FilipinoCupid enough of a chance and should have stuck it out longer.

I am also a dual national and am in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship so if we marry, she can get Spanish citizenship in a year, I am also from a Latin American family so her culture is not so alien to what I am used to anyway and she would be fine amongst my family, the would all accept her without question.

Lots of info on here, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it outdated, give me your path to victory! Thanks!

Were you previously married? Are you widowed or divorced? Divorce is basically illegal in the Philippines.

Never been married, nobody would have me.

Okay, I wanted to clarify that the mother to the children thing was about future kids.

I think you are going to have to go there and get to know people. Is there are Philippino community where you live? You could make some friends, invite some Filippinos to social functions, get invited to some social functions, then tell some of your friends that you are looking for a wife and what you are looking for. They may get out their phones and start showing you nieces and cousins on Facebook or Instagram. If you seem like a nice, decent man and you are looking for a wife to be faithful to for life, who they believe you will treat well, and you are looking for a good wife and mother, they may be inclined to help you if they think you are a good match. Having a good, stable job or business helps. Having your life together helps. If you know them well enough, you can tell them you are looking for someone pretty and thin, too.

No Filipinos where I am, it might need a trip out there as soon as this pandemic is done and dusted. I don't really know any Filipinos to be honest. I am going into this blind!

[MrMan]

Though there is a load of information, I am after a wife and the mother of my children so I am not on a shagging pursuit as such.

Me: Middle aged though look young, over six foot tall, have all my own hair , in regular, well paid employment, already live in Asia and when lockdown is lifted, so a few hours away from the Philippines, I have a masters degree and I am reasonable looking.

Would like: A girl with a good education, a nurse or someone with a degree - lawyer, bank worker... I don't know, someone with something about them, in their twenties, childless and obviously nice looking - am I asking for the moon on a stick?

I tried FilipinoCupid but all I seemed to have got were scamming single mums with false names who had birthdays the day after we made contact I would like a quality lady with an education and goals. How do I go about finding her? There are over 100 million people in the Philippines and the median age of women there is 24 - so - a good place to look. Maybe I didn't give FilipinoCupid enough of a chance and should have stuck it out longer.

I am also a dual national and am in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship so if we marry, she can get Spanish citizenship in a year, I am also from a Latin American family so her culture is not so alien to what I am used to anyway and she would be fine amongst my family, the would all accept her without question.

Lots of info on here, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it outdated, give me your path to victory! Thanks!

Were you previously married? Are you widowed or divorced? Divorce is basically illegal in the Philippines.

Never been married, nobody would have me.

Okay, I wanted to clarify that the mother to the children thing was about future kids.

I think you are going to have to go there and get to know people. Is there are Philippino community where you live? You could make some friends, invite some Filippinos to social functions, get invited to some social functions, then tell some of your friends that you are looking for a wife and what you are looking for. They may get out their phones and start showing you nieces and cousins on Facebook or Instagram. If you seem like a nice, decent man and you are looking for a wife to be faithful to for life, who they believe you will treat well, and you are looking for a good wife and mother, they may be inclined to help you if they think you are a good match. Having a good, stable job or business helps. Having your life together helps. If you know them well enough, you can tell them you are looking for someone pretty and thin, too.

No Filipinos where I am, it might need a trip out there as soon as this pandemic is done and dusted. I don't really know any Filipinos to be honest. I am going into this blind!

Are you in Japan? COVID-19 messes everything up. But if life gets back to normal, maybe you could spend some time in some place in your country that has Filippinos.

Another strategy might be to go to an online forum where Filippinas hang out that has a sub-forum for singles or dating. You know on those shows the Bachelor or Bachelorette, the man or woman drives off in the car and laments, "Why does no one ever want me?" If the person is popular enough and gives a good enough speech, they might get invited back to be the next contestant. Millions of girls out there hear the man talking about how he just wants to love a woman forever and have a family and wish they could have him, and a couple of dozen sign up for the show. You might not want to be that desperate, but a post on how you are looking for a woman to love for life and your interest in finding a Filippina on a forum might interest a woman or two. You could start PMing them if it worked and share email addresses. I don't know of any forums like that, but the Internet is big, and there might be some forum for Filippinos who are single or dating out there.

I think Filippinas are like Indonesians in that the idea that they must want children and have children is socially ingrained from the time they are small. Not only is their the biological clock,but also the social conditioning. So emphasizing wanting to have kids and be a good dad is a plus.

[yick]

Were you previously married? Are you widowed or divorced? Divorce is basically illegal in the Philippines.

Never been married, nobody would have me.

Okay, I wanted to clarify that the mother to the children thing was about future kids.

I think you are going to have to go there and get to know people. Is there are Philippino community where you live? You could make some friends, invite some Filippinos to social functions, get invited to some social functions, then tell some of your friends that you are looking for a wife and what you are looking for. They may get out their phones and start showing you nieces and cousins on Facebook or Instagram. If you seem like a nice, decent man and you are looking for a wife to be faithful to for life, who they believe you will treat well, and you are looking for a good wife and mother, they may be inclined to help you if they think you are a good match. Having a good, stable job or business helps. Having your life together helps. If you know them well enough, you can tell them you are looking for someone pretty and thin, too.

No Filipinos where I am, it might need a trip out there as soon as this pandemic is done and dusted. I don't really know any Filipinos to be honest. I am going into this blind!

Are you in Japan? COVID-19 messes everything up. But if life gets back to normal, maybe you could spend some time in some place in your country that has Filippinos.

Another strategy might be to go to an online forum where Filippinas hang out that has a sub-forum for singles or dating. You know on those shows the Bachelor or Bachelorette, the man or woman drives off in the car and laments, "Why does no one ever want me?" If the person is popular enough and gives a good enough speech, they might get invited back to be the next contestant. Millions of girls out there hear the man talking about how he just wants to love a woman forever and have a family and wish they could have him, and a couple of dozen sign up for the show. You might not want to be that desperate, but a post on how you are looking for a woman to love for life and your interest in finding a Filippina on a forum might interest a woman or two. You could start PMing them if it worked and share email addresses. I don't know of any forums like that, but the Internet is big, and there might be some forum for Filippinos who are single or dating out there.

I think Filippinas are like Indonesians in that the idea that they must want children and have children is socially ingrained from the time they are small. Not only is their the biological clock,but also the social conditioning. So emphasizing wanting to have kids and be a good dad is a plus.

Thanks for that! Mr Man, I think that's a good idea and like you said, being proactive whilst the pandemic lockdown lifts isn't a bad idea! I am in China though I am willing to try out good ideas! Thanks again!

I have no problem with fatherhood, it is all about the right woman!

[CannedHam]

I suggest trying to learn some basic Tagalog and using apps like hellotalk,it's a great way to meet "normal" filipinas ...

[CannedHam]

Make sure her family is at least somewhat well-off and of decent education, unless you want to be supporting your wife/kids, your wife's parents, brothers, sisters...

Yep, this one. Cannot stress this point enough. And it's not good enough if the girl herself has a university degree or at least went to college. Ideally, the girls parents, too, and even her grandparents have enjoyed some education so the family isn't what my father-in-law would describe as "dumbbells"... In his words; "Most of the foreigners, they marry 'dumbbell' Filipinas, and produce dumbbell kids..."

My wife is the third generation of her family to attend higher education, and has herself attended a prestigious university. This is the sort of woman that would make an ideal partner. Less likely to screw you over, too, if it's a fear a man might have. And many men have such a fear, rightfully. If your woman has a degree, and her family's not too broke, she won't need your money, your greencard... she'll be in it, for YOU. This would be an ideal outcome.

I think Chinese women are superior, in general, to Filipinas, who are mostly lazy, unmotivated spendthrifts

Chinese culture is more disciplined overall, partially because of the very strict government style they've lived under for the past seven decades. It's sink or swim, and families aren't enormously large like in the Philippines with plenty of well-off relatives abroad who may help out in your time of need. The smaller size of Chinese families makes it a more 'each man for himself' sort of deal.

Now I would not go as far as to claim most Filipinas are "unmotivated spendthrifts", because I've seen far too many men and women in the Philippines working two or three jobs at the same time, busting their ass off to help out their loved ones. Especially the ones who make it abroad, tend to work very hard. They have to... a lot of folks rely on their support.

who view high-education as a negative

Not true. There is enormous emphasis in the Philippines for children to be educated, preferably well-educated. The only guy or gal in a small town to make it to a big-time Manila based university will be some sort of a local hero for it. The only child among ten siblings who gets to be a doctor or engineer, commands tremendous respect in their family and community.

and let themselves go bigtime after age 30.

Low-class women let themselves go big-time, regardless of culture. A low-class Filipina will often age as badly as a low-class white or black woman. Always look at the future in-laws... how does her mother look? My mother-in-law is a grandmother of three, a hardworking professional and yet she looks easily twenty years younger than her age. The core difference of high- and low class individuals is how well or how badly they age. Compare a well-off Chinese man in Beijing to his poor cousin who's a farmer.

I f***ing hate the lazy, party, idgaf, gossip culture of the Philippines. It's fine for retirement but not for living a "real life" with kids and jobs.

It agree it's not for everyone. Especially not if one marries into a low-class family, which is always a big no-no. I'm sure Yick will not make that mistake. The signs are always easy to tell and red flags usually enormous. I gotta say, on the plus side, for all your supposed 'superiority' of the Chinese ladies, Filipinas DO make superior mothers. They don't do the creepy, obsessive helicopter parenting, Tiger Mom thing that Chinese, Indian and some American women do. More relaxed, easy-going... results in more socially adjusted and happier children as opposed to the poor sods who have to play the violin and piano to impress auntie at age five.

Appreciate the reply Marcos, I was probably exaggerating on some things to get my point across but you make some good points. I know Filipino culture moderately well and know of 3 guys in the US married to "dumbell" filipinas they brought over. These guys are struggling to keep their wives' spending under control and none of the women work aside from maybe some part time retail once in a while. Money is constantly getting sent to the Philippines. I wouldn't call these mothers superior as all there kids are out of control due to the wives' lackadaisical attitude towards life and parenting.

I think a "top tier" Filipina wife is, however, probably better than a "top tier" Chinese wife. But it's a billion times harder to find a quality Filipina wife than a Chinese wife in my experience.

[Spencer]

Yick you ok with phlipin girl work oversea already because still having milions hongkong dubai canada many more and can search local online with the daterman aps and even china big city have english teacher from phlipin can search more place not only phlipin insider country

[yick]

Thanks Marcos, I was thinking that might be the case and that I would need to be there for a fairly long period of time. Which I might do one day when I have sorted everything else out (pension, apartment and Spanish citizenship...) spend two years or so over there finding someone nice.

I am not going to bother messing about flings, I am just past that age now, I am more looking at creating a family with a decent woman. I wouldn't mind having children and I think I would make a good dad, and though I have massive respect for any man who takes on another man's kid - it's not for me I am afraid. Saying that, I would love to have a kid with the right woman.

I was thinking it might be with a Chinese woman but I am realising my age and the culture here is against me, more my age than the culture but the culture doesn't help. I don't think a Filipina in Latin America (or Spain...) would have much trouble fitting in. Though there are loads of great girls in China - for a lot of them, their path is already determined by their overbearing families and the culture. A foreigner doesn't fit into it.

Children are great, but I had the feeling it is going to take a big old chunk of time being on the ground and that is do-able. I suppose a trip out to the Philippines is something I need to do once this lockdown is over just to have a look-see! Anyway, thanks Marcos!

You sound like you have your priorities in order, and you probably have 'what it takes'. And what it takes, isn't an awful lot even today. You're stable, serious, and to quite a few girls in the Philippines, being an older man is a plus. There are even girls in the Philippines, quality girls, who would reject a man below the age of thirty or even forty. Some Filipinas have told my in-laws once that their daughter was "not very smart" for having married a man her own age, whereas an older man could have provided her with far greater financial stability and more options in life. Love's all fine and dandy, but girls can be pragmatic like that. And unlike in China, where a girls' family may be a hindrance, in the Philippines they will be your greatest cheerleaders, once you've proven yourself to them.

Chances are, if the girl you go for is young enough, her parents will be quite young as well. Closer, in fact, to your own age. You can meet them, befriend them, and if you win them over, they'll even plead your case for you with future Mrs. Yick. All it takes is a few drinks, some good, deep talks and some male bonding. Assure her father and mother you're a solid man, and they will walk to hell and back for you. Bonus points if daddy dearest is some small-time businessman or a government employee, or otherwise gainfully employed. Chances are the English of the girl and that of her family will be good, good enough for you to have great conversations with them.

All this won't have to take years. In fact in a matter of weeks, you can already bond with her and her loved ones. Get them on your side, and they might very well stay forever in your heart. Just be respectful. Eat all the dishes offered to you, even if at times it looks unappealing or down-right awful. Filipino people admire a man with what they call a "cowboy mentality"... someone willing to try anything, anywhere. Not squeemish, not spoiled or pampered, but a bit rough and tumble. You'd fit right in and earn their respect. Oh and hold your liquor! They go by the motto: "Be a man in the evening, be a man in the morning!"

Something tells me you are the right kind of man to do fabulously well and find who you are looking for. It's a great experience, if done right. And you'll be one of those success stories to prove the naysayers wrong and show that in the Philippines, as in any country, one can find genuine quality if only you look for it dilligently and in the right places. Good luck, brother!

Cheers bud! That is a great post! I will be coming back to re-read it the nearer I get to doing it, thanks again!