Is having a tight group of friends in New York a fantasy?

[MrMan]

I am thinking about successful TV shows. 'Friends' was a successful TV show about a group of friends who hung out together all the time. Seinfeld was another TV show about a group of zany friends hanging out all the time, always in Jerry's apartment, again in New York City. There was another show I saw some episodes of, "How I Met Your Mother" which I assume was successful, which was also about a group of friends hanging out together all the time in New York City.

So I am wondering if this is a trope on TV that is realistic and something people can relate to, or is it a fantasy that people want but do not often have? I wonder if New Yorkers tend to just work a lot of hours and go back to their little apartments and tend not to have close relationships with friends, and go to a therapist to fulfill the void left by a lack of relationships, and so the show appeals to them. Or is having that tight group of friends something they can relate to?

People on the forum often talk about how cold other people are and how hard it is to make friends. So I thought I'd as for some opinions about this.

[jerryrigged]

Back in the 80s and 90s before the internet was big, sure. Now? Especially "post-covid"??? Forgetta-bout-it, as a New Yorker would say. The wealthy New Yorkers I know either have lots of friends, mostly just on social media, who they hardly know or really relate to. Or they're poor and have no friends. Like many cold, unfriendly, big cities in the West, people really only want friends that they can reap some kind of rewards from. If you're of no benefit to them, not many want to be friends any more. I just find that even in the larger cities, especially in the tropical regions, people are just so much more friendly, and really like to get to know people, even people they don't know anything about, or understand well. Everyone is always smiling. Small talk is still a thing. Its very hard to find that in Western settings, especially in the city. Things were just different and more fun in the 20th century in America in general. This century so far has been just very bogus as far as American culture goes. The list of "bad" that we have seen post-2000 far outweights the "good". Although I am not from NY, the city I am from is VERY VERY similar to NY, and this is why I started travelling to Asia, personally. I had a lot of heartbreak in Southeast Asia, but I still tell people it was the best time of my life. My social life was just 100% better. Not just my dating life or whatever. My whole social life was vastly superior to what was, and still is, back home in America.

[Winston]

I wondered the same thing. You might assume that the reason you don't have a tight knit group of friends is because you are simply a loser. That's what American culture implies to you sort of. Because cool people have friends so it's implied that if you complain then you must be a loser. I hate that. It's very victim blaming and brings you down. Nothing in America uplifts you except BS talk and cliches. Nothing real.

Can't you make friends with the immigrants in NY?

[MrMan]

Back in the 80s and 90s before the internet was big, sure. Now? Especially "post-covid"??? Forgetta-bout-it, as a New Yorker would say. The wealthy New Yorkers I know either have lots of friends, mostly just on social media, who they hardly know or really relate to.

I wonder how many people think if they 'friend' someone on Facebook, they are really friends? I joked when Facebook came out that I made a friend with the click of the button. I have a lot of Facebook friends that are really strangers I don't really know well, though I can say I have made a couple of friend through Facebook, who I video chatted or called afterward. And there are people I interact with who share similar interests. I

[Cornfed]

It is not a fantasy and it certainly does happen, but you have to understand that there is always a sexual dynamic and people are always being strung along to some extent.

[jerryrigged]

Back in the 80s and 90s before the internet was big, sure. Now? Especially "post-covid"??? Forgetta-bout-it, as a New Yorker would say. The wealthy New Yorkers I know either have lots of friends, mostly just on social media, who they hardly know or really relate to.

I wonder how many people think if they 'friend' someone on Facebook, they are really friends? I joked when Facebook came out that I made a friend with the click of the button. I have a lot of Facebook friends that are really strangers I don't really know well, though I can say I have made a couple of friend through Facebook, who I video chatted or called afterward. And there are people I interact with who share similar interests. I

I have a fake facebook account with a fake name and fake photo and 100 friends I don't know on it who I've also never met. I don't have a real FB account.

[Winston]

It is not a fantasy and it certainly does happen, but you have to understand that there is always a sexual dynamic and people are always being strung along to some extent.

I'm sure some people have a tight knit group of friends. Sure. I had one before too. But does that mean the average American does? Hard to say. Depends on who you ask. Sometimes there is too much varying opinion to know what is average. And also lots of people BS of course and no one likes to admit that they are lonely because that is like admitting that you are a loser and weak.

[MrMan]

My wife and I spend time with a couple and their kids. He's Indonesian from her tribe. We used to have a home fellowship together. It's been a busy summer and we have only seen them once a month or so. Otherwise, we have friends we hang out with for a while. Usually that stops because we move. It's hard to have a tight group of friends for 9 or 10 years like on a TV series like that if you move every so many years.

When you have a family, you automatically have people to spend time with. I remember an impetus for me to pray a bit more seriously for finding a wife was being alone at Christmas. I wouldn't have thought much of it if my mom hadn't said, "Don't be alone at Christmas." My Christmas plans fell through and I started thinking I didn't like being alone. I wanted a family. If I had a wife, I wouldn't be alone. I wanted a wife anyway. I met her within the next few months after that.