Are we HAers "taking advantage" of poor economically disadvantaged women like our bashers claim?

[Winston]

Check out this comment about me on YouTube. Why do many people say this? Is it true that we "take advantage" of poor economically disadvanrtaged women? Why do they spin it negatively that way? Is there any truth in that or is it an exaggeration? See my replies below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIdxTdyHQkg

Mark F
7 days ago
Everyone who needs a translation, "Happier Abroad - Expat living and Dating Overseas" actually means, "Complete Dating Failure In America and Entire Western World, So Now Satisfy My Gross Appetites Taking Advantage of Economically Disadvantaged Innocent Women."

My replies:

Happier Abroad - Expat Living and Dating Overseas
6 days ago
@Mark F nothing wrong with that. come to the philippines and you will agree and want to move there and never be happy in America again. You will see that life there is the way it was MEANT to be and never wanna live in the USA again. That's why there's a large expat community in the Philippines. It's not about taking advantage. everyone takes advantage of something. So what? Corporate America takes advantage of you all the time. So what? At least in the Philippines we expats are HAPPY and FEEL GOOD when we wake up, because we are in a postiive soothing nonjudgmental environment where every misfit and eccentric feels at home. It's priceless and liberating. Come to the Philippines and you will see what i mean. A happy carefree fun vibe is priceless, which you will NEVER experience in America. At least I'm the only truther with solutions. Matt doesn't have any. He just tells you to "focus on yourself" which any narcissistic American can do.

Happier Abroad - Expat Living and Dating Overseas
6 days ago
@Mark F so what? As long as you are happy and free and can BE YOURSELF overseas, which you cannot do in the US which is socially unfree and antisocial, that's what matters isn't it? Also the cost of living in many overseas countries is much lower? Why live in America when you can be happier and freer overseas like 5 million American expats are? Aren't there any other expats here? Or am I the only one? Matt and most truthers claim you can't leave America, but they are wrong of course. 5 million Americans live abroad. If the Titanic (America) is sinking, why not get off the ship? Isn't that the obvious solution? Why are you all blind? Are you all NPCS? lol. I gotta wonder. Why can't most see the obvious???

Happier Abroad - Expat Living and Dating Overseas
6 days ago (edited)
​ @Mark F Also not everyone fits in in America. Some people fit in better abroad. Some people may be DESTINED to live abroad, so circumstances make it so. As Matt has said, we are all following some script, so our script or destiny may lead us to live abroad. Why do you think everyone in the world ought to live in America, which is no fun and workaholic and antisocial and socially disconnected? America was a fun place in the 60s and 70s but not today. We all know that. Come to SE Asia and you will see what I mean. First time I went to Russia I felt more ALIVE and FREE than I ever did in America, and had ZERO social anxiety too, for the first time in my life. That's PRICELESS and beyond words. If you never experienced this, I feel sorry for you. Words cannot convey what I experienced.

Happier Abroad - Expat Living and Dating Overseas
6 days ago (edited)
​ @Mark F One more key point. Women in other countries are not all poor. It's not all about economics. For example America in the 1960s and 70s was not poor, but the women back then were feminine, natural, approachable, down to earth, and easy to connect with, because that's how women are supposed to be. Thus a decent guy can be himself and find women who like him for him. Not so today. Now you can't go back in time of course, but you CAN go overseas where the dating scene is STILL like America was in the 60s and 70s. Even a misfit like Matt (no offense, we are all misfits here) can get a great woman overseas if he tries to. Bottom line: The dating scene in many overseas countries is A LOT LOT better. When you experience this, you will never wanna go back to America and your eyes will be open. And you will thank me too.

Happier Abroad - Expat Living and Dating Overseas
6 days ago
​ @Mark F Btw ask any guy who dated women in the 60s and 70s and they will tell you it was MUCH MUCH better back then. You don't have to take my word for it. You can also watch movies and TV shows from the 60s and 70s and see what I mean. They will give you a sense that women back then were much more natural, feminine and down to earth, and hence easier to connect with. Just like they are TODAY in Russia and Europe. Go to Russia and Europe and date many women there and you will see what I mean and you will say "Wow that guy was right!"

Happier Abroad - Expat Living and Dating Overseas
1 second ago
​ @Mark F You can spin it negatively like that if you want Mark, however the BOTTOM line fact is that life abroad in many other countries is BETTER because: It is more FUN, more SOCIAL, more FREEDOM, more ROMANTIC, more HAPPY, has LOWER cost of living, and HEALTHIER food. What more could you ask for??? If that doesn't spell a better life, then I don't know what does. Why do you think many American expats and retired military vets move to the Philippines? Go there and you will understand why, and why they never want to live in America again. If someone is happier and freer abroad, why do you shame them or look down on them? Don't some people fit in better abroad? There is no country in the world where everyone fits into, not even America. Why do you believe no one is supposed to live abroad especially if they have a better life in the 6 categories I listed above??? Can you explain?

Personally I feel a lot more at home in the Philippines or Russia or Eastern Europe. I feel much more ALIVE and can come out of my shell and I FEEL GOOD about myself, which I can never do in America. That's PRICELESS you know. In contrast, you do not wake up feeling good about yourself in America like you do in the Philippines. Huge difference, like night and day. In the Philippines, no one judges you or tells you there's something wrong with you. It's very NON-judgmental. That's priceless and something you can NEVER get in America! It's more liberating than words can describe. Come experience it and you will understand. That's why expats in the Philippines don't want to leave. Plus of course the girls there are sweet, humble, easygoing, and APPRECIATE good nice men like me, which of course is virtually impossible to find in America, as we all know deep down. Once you come to the Philippines and see the light, you won't want to return to America either! Trust me! I'll be glad to show you around if you come someday.

[shawnberwick]

I think the comment comes from a perception of women as vulnerable to manipulation and abuse, because men travelling abroad from developed nations to underdeveloped nations will likely have more financial security than the women that gives them power in the relationship. Which IMO it does, because if someone is economically dependent on you they will be more willing to put up with negative behaviour, just like most of us are willing to put up with our bosses and co-workers being assholes, in a way that we wouldn't let anyone in our free time communicate with us like they do.

However, those comments don't take into account the reality that some men get taken financially advantage of by those women they see as only see as being vulnerable.

I don't think those commenters realize that we can't predict which party is going to be predatory, and also that neither party may be predatory and just benign people looking for a partner.

[WilliamSmith]

You made a lot of good points in your replies @Winston.

Speaking for myself:
No way in hell will I ever be "taking advantage" of poor economically disadvantaged women!
I'm not leaving the country because of women anyway, but since I am leaving: Romance and a lot of bedroom action is what I'd be after, which is what ALL heterosexual women also want (as we all know, for those of us who like reading women's "bodice ripper" romance novels, LOL ), so dumbasses whining that foreign ladies' men are all "exploiters" is obviously B.S.
Also, like Winston said in one of his replies, a lot of foreign women who find us interesting sometimes have more money than we have, so it's obviously not just some economic exploitation. Sorry trolls, but some women actually like us even if we're that repugnant breed of human being generally known as "expats," and those of them who weren't having big success with women in the country they left aren't doing anything wrong by going somewhere else they're better appreciated.

Unfortunately, of course, there are also exploiters amongst the populations of expats: I've seen at least a few guys on here who say nasty cynical or creepy stuff about women, and were basically claiming women have low intelligence and are inferior, and they want an obedient foreign teen virgin they can boss around and demand easy sex from, or whatever. (I get it that some of you with more religious traditionalism as part of your philosophy also have notions of "purity" that aren't as bad as that, but still, I've seen the types who do sound more on the 'exploitative' side.) I don't think most guys on here are like that though...
By the way: Has there ever even been anything to substantiate that a problematically high percentage of expats actually do behave in an "exploitative" manner? Anyone know? Obviously there are hotspots with a giant sex industry that naturally attract that sexpat type commercially on purpose, but that's the sex industry drawing in the expats who are specifically interested in that. Like I was saying in another thread by @Outcast9428 about excesses of the sexual revolution and sex industries, I personally would specifically avoid that kind of an area (e.g., Bangkok, even though I think Thailand overall is an awesome fascinating country that I can't wait to spend more time in away from the red light district hotspots).
I know I'm not going to be doing anything morally blameworthy myself, so never looked into this topic, but still saw a bunch of woke squealer articles written by commie libs trying to imply anyone who tries to go overseas looking for women is somehow practicing exploitation, "imperialism," etc. My guess was that the woke squealers demonizing all expats were/are just conflating the obvious sex tourism hotspots with Winston's perfectly reasonable concept of encouraging men to go be happier abroad for all the reasons he named: Quoting Winston:

the BOTTOM line fact is that life abroad in many other countries is BETTER because: It is more FUN, more SOCIAL, more FREEDOM, more ROMANTIC, more HAPPY, has LOWER cost of living, and HEALTHIER food.

Back to the troll subject, but on a lighter note: Obviously it's silly when trolls pop up saying every single expat is supposedly an exploiter or a sleaze, even if some are. But I've also noticed there is an even stranger meme basically saying that every single white (or maybe just "foreign") guy who travels to Asia (or maybe other places?) and gets a lot of chicks there is supposedly a "loser back home", who then becomes a "charisma man" there....
I respect Asian men (always have), and same respects for all the other native men of whatever country I'll be travelling to (Caribbean, Latin America, India, Middle East, Africa, Southeast Asia, Japan are all on the "wishlist" so far), but... when dumbass whiners pop up squealing that kind of stuff at expats, it really puzzles me, because just think about the implication of this claim about themselves!! They're basically telling us that they think that they themselves are so unappealing, that when almost any expat shows up in their country, the expats become chick magnets, just because they're from overseas and are not them?! LOL!
Come on trolls, work on your own self-image if you actually believe that every expat who shows up is supposedly going to be holding all the cards with the ladies in your own country!
(Or I guess it isn't always trolls from foreign countries who say that: You hear this stuff from woke "Westerners" too, acting like it's a thought crime if a man wants to go to a foreign country where he might get a better reception with the women there than he did in his native country? Sounds like good sense to me! And I seriously doubt the ladies are going to mind as long as you treat them well. )

[MrMan]

Some western white progressive hold to stereotypes about ethnic minorities and people in poorer countries. They think that blacks need white liberals to come save them from something. They also think that women in poorer countries do not have the good sense to make decisions about marriage for themselves.

[MrMan]

I've seen at least a few guys on here who say nasty cynical or creepy stuff about women, and were basically claiming women have low intelligence and are inferior, and they want an obedient foreign teen virgin they can boss around and demand easy sex from, or whatever. (I get it that some of you with more religious traditionalism as part of your philosophy also have notions of "purity" that aren't as bad as that, but still, I've seen the types who do sound more on the 'exploitative' side.) I don't think most guys on here are like that though...

I am not sure who exactly expressed that combination of things. Cornfed might have posted on inferiority. Of course, Tsar has posted about wanting to marry virgin teens. Boss around and demand easy sex from? I don't know anyone who put it that way.

A wife being obedient to her husband and providing him with sex when he wants/needs it, within some basic biological parameters, are morally desirable traits in a wife. One can marry an obedient wife without being 'bossy' or obnoxious toward her, caring about her needs and feelings, etc. I never cared to marry a teen. I didn't marry a teenager. If she had been 18 or 19 when I'd met her, I likely would have been fine with that. It makes sense that if a 21-year-old married a woman, she might be in her late teens. 18-year-olds can also marry legally in the US and in other countries.

A man who rightly marries a woman takes upon himself the responsibility to satisfy her sexually, also. It's a two-way street. If a woman marries a man whose older and responsible from whom she can easily obtain sex, that's okay, too.

If a wife is more likely to get into a pattern of being an obedient wife or providing for her husband's needs if she marries as a teenager, then that is good argument to marry a teen. But some teenage girls are a problem for their parents, and they probably won't be any easier on their husbands once the newness of the relationship wears off. Of course, if she is a nice girl who is obedient to her parents who agree to the marriage, that may not be an issue.

[WilliamSmith]

I think the comment comes from a perception of women as vulnerable to manipulation and abuse, because men travelling abroad from developed nations to underdeveloped nations will likely have more financial security than the women that gives them power in the relationship. Which IMO it does, because if someone is economically dependent on you they will be more willing to put up with negative behaviour, just like most of us are willing to put up with our bosses and co-workers being assholes, in a way that we wouldn't let anyone in our free time communicate with us like they do.

However, those comments don't take into account the reality that some men get taken financially advantage of by those women they see as only see as being vulnerable.

I don't think those commenters realize that we can't predict which party is going to be predatory, and also that neither party may be predatory and just benign people looking for a partner.

Good points @shawnberwick , and your post reminded me of some other stories about both women and men:

There was a thread on here about some unfortunate middle-aged white women who go overseas on "romance tours" with the hots for young black studs, some of which might theoretically work out as a "double coincidence of wants" for both the women and younger men, but unfortunately led to so many cases of the young black studs beating up and extorting money from some of the old gals that the Jamaican police kept having to intervene over and over to break up the domestic violence. I remember the story saying the Gambian police also had to keep getting involved to try to keep "Beach Boys" off the beaches hustling for money from the older "Western" women who flocked out to partake of their charms, and passed an ordinance banning them from wearing dreadlocks there (which I guess had become sort of a signal that they were in the market for what the old gals were looking for).

Edit: I stumbled on that thread I was thinking of: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=22122

Other times, the controversy is different, and this article from this thread was taking the position that the older white women (old enough to be grandmothers in some cases) were actually exploiting the young men due to their comparatively higher amount of wealth:
viewtopic.php?f=31&t=42975

I suppose it makes sense that it can always go both ways.

Last but not least, and again in the fair land of Gambia, as it happens:
I'll keep my fingers crossed there was a happy ending for this one, but a certain David Tungate from the UK apparently was dubbed 'the world's most gullible man' for trying a "3rd time's the charm" strategy on marriages to beautiful young Gambian women:



The enchanting creature on the left is Isatou, his 3rd wife, and the other two are his previous Gambian wives, one of whom turned out to be a bigamist with two white husbands and one black husband.

David and Isatou, if you happen to see this, I hope everything worked out well for you and you're still happy together.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life ... n-5502084

The story:

David Tungate’s first marriage left him heartbroken and his second left him broke but that hasn't stopped the 58-year-old from tying the knot again

Lonely David Tungate’s first marriage to a Gambian woman didn’t work out well.

Five years after bringing his bride to Britain it all ended in tears – his.

But that was a fairytale romance compared to his second marriage to a Gambian beauty.

She turned out to be a bigamist who got pregnant by another man while conning David out of his entire life savings.

So when a third Gambian woman got the trusting Brit in her sights, you’d have thought it would have been a case of twice bitten, thrice leg it.

But eternal optimist David, 58, is convinced latest love Isatou Jarju will prove to be third time lucky, and is keen to make the 30-year-old beauty Gambian bride number three.

“I know people reading this might think I’m the most gullible man in Britain but I’m not bothered,” David says.

“I may have been left with nothing from the last Gambian woman I fell in love with, but my new girlfriend is different.

"She is wonderful. It may be stupid, but I always follow my heart.”

David, a former van driver from Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, has blown all his life savings chasing Miss Right.

And it has led to the breakdown of his relationship with his two sons Jack, 27 and Alex, 24. But he’s unrepentant.

After divorcing his British wife of seven years in 1992, the father of two never says he never imagined he would find love again.

With the help of his sons, David slowly overcame the heartbreak and put his life back together.

In 1998 he visited Gambia on holiday and fell in love with a local girl called called Nyima Sye, then 19.

He was so desperate to marry her he converted to Islam, and later that year David brought his bride back to the UK.

But their happiness didn’t last and five years later they split with Nyima staying in England.

“She was too young,” admits David.

"The cultural ­differences tore us apart.

“But she got a British passport out of it which makes me think she may have had ulterior motives.”

At that point David was determined to stay single.

“I had been through two divorces,” he says. “All the heartbreak had really taken its toll.”

But in 2007, on another holiday to Gambia, he walked into a cafe, clapped eyes on waitress Jainaba Bojang, known as Ndey, and fell in love at first sight.

“Ndey was stunning,” he says, “but I never imagined she’d be interested in me as I was 30 years older than her.”

Unable to stop thinking about the 22-year-old beauty after he returned home, David asked a friend in the West African country to get her number and they started chatting on the phone.

When Ndey revealed she had lost her job, he offered to help.

David started sending her £50 every week and even paid a café owner another £30-a-month to give her a job, unbeknown to Ndey.

By June 2011 David had saved up enough money from his work as a van driver to fly back out to Gambia.

“I booked another two-week holiday and packed my suitcase full of clothes and jewellery for Ndey,” he recalls.

“I couldn’t wait to start our ­relationship and when I got there and she met me at the airport, it was more than I had ever dreamed of.”

He adds: “Leaving her to go back to the UK was heartbreaking, I was already counting the days until I could come back.”

In October 2012 David flew out to Bakau in Gambia with yet another ­suitcase packed full of expensive gifts for his girlfriend – including an engagement ring which Ndey happily accepted.

They set a date for their wedding and David rented her a flat.

In June 2013, the pair wed at Kanising Islamic Court in front of Ndey’s sister and uncle.

David’s family all snubbed the wedding.

He recalls: “My sons thought, ‘Oh, here he goes again’. But I didn’t mind. I knew my love for Ndey was real and there was no stopping me.”

Returning to see his wife as often as he could afford, David planned to stay living in the UK until he retired from his job as a newspaper delivery driver.

In February 2014, Ndey asked him to pay the £60-a-month lease on a fashion shop she planned to open.

He agreed, bankrolling the deal with his life savings. He also spent £2,000 stocking the shop.

Soon David was working overtime to afford Ndey’s apartment, her new ­business and £50-a-week spending money.

But in October last year, he received this text message from an unknown number: “Your wife has married a Gambian man, is pregnant by him and living in his family compound in the town of Bakau.”

Devastated David confronted her. “She admitted she had cheated on me while I was back in England and was now four months pregnant with his baby.

"But at the end of the day, she was my wife. I agreed to raise the baby as my own.”

David even splashed out on maternity clothes and baby gear.

In November 2014 he moved to Gambia to live with his wife, saying goodbye to his sons. But his happiness was short-lived.

Later that month he received another mystery text saying: “Your wife has three husbands, two white and one black.”

Ndey denied the rumours and went to stay with her family leaving him alone in Bakau.

Worried David hired a private detective. “I became really suspicious,” he admits.

“Still, I was hoping she hadn’t betrayed me.”

Within 48 hours they had tracked Ndey down and discovered she was living in a family compound with a man she’d married bigamously.

David says: “Words cannot explain how distraught I was. I couldn’t believe she would do this to me, after everything I had done for her.

"My trust was completely shattered.”

In January this year David contacted the police and Ndey was arrested and charged with bigamy and fraud.

She has now been fined 15,000 Dalasi – about £250 – and faces two years in jail if she fails to pay by the end of April.

Ndey told us: “I feel really bad about what I did. My whole family has disowned me.”

But David wants back the £24,000 he spent on her.

His case is being investigated by Gambian lawyer Lamin Ceesay.

“I refuse to divorce her until she pays me back every penny,” he says.

“I have been left with nothing – no home in England, no pension, no savings, just £45 a week to live on. I can’t afford to move back to the UK.

“Love is blind. Our whole relationship was a lie, and I had no idea. I should have seen the signs but I was a fool.

"People tried to warn me but I was having none of it. ”

But this hasn’t stopped David falling for Isatou, Ndey’s ex-workmate from the cafe, and he says marriage “isn’t off the cards”.

When they met, Isatou had just been dumped by her husband, another Brit, so they bonded over their heartache. “

Isatou is so beautiful and independent,” says David.

“She has brought a smile to my face while I’ve been dealing with everything.”

Whatever happens, he is determined to stay in Gambia to rule out any chance of being seen as an easy route to a British passport.

“That’s why I am not taking anyone back to UK again,” he says.

“My family and friends think I’m mad for dating another African lady but they want me to be happy.

[WilliamSmith]

I am not sure who exactly expressed that combination of things. Cornfed might have posted on inferiority. Of course, Tsar has posted about wanting to marry virgin teens. Boss around and demand easy sex from? I don't know anyone who put it that way.

I wasn't focusing on single poster who said all those things at once (though I did see all the things I mentioned at least once or twice):
I like Tsar from what I've seen, so definitely was not thinking of him. I am not presuming to be anyone's judge regardless, but Tsar struck me as interesting, even though he's certainly got some unique ideas I may not fully understand.
Cornfed's obviously in the hater category (which I doubt he'd deny? He seems rather proud of the fact. ), but I wasn't thinking specifically of him either (nor of fschmidt, an interesting individual who nonetheless frequently gives his view that pretty much everyone except something called Mennonites are "complete morons" who "deserve to be executed", or something along those lines ).

The nastier cases I remember noticing when I wrote that were more often from posters with low post counts, vs the veterans. They also sometimes were flagrantly disrespectful of the native nations and cultures, including women there (calling them various names in some cases, as well as being critical of the girls' conversational abilities in English despite the men having no ability in the girl's native language, even though he was the guest in her country, not viceversa). Obviously, that type of thing is going to reinforce the negative views of any critics who observe Winston's awesome forum here and claim most (or all) of the men are nasty "exploiters." But like I said, I don't see that nastier type as the majority position around here.

Back to the subject of virgin brides that some men claim to be interested in:
To me, the idea of being frustrated with women and then also focused on a virgin bride sounds like a recipe for even more frustration, kind of like doubling down on a stock that's crashing deeper into a stage 4 downtrend and then somehow expecting positive returns, but I'm not presuming to be giving anyone else advice, so if that's their view then good luck to them.
Also, I may frankly have been completely wrong about it being an unreasonable expectation to get a virgin wife: Some guy from Egypt popped in here and said it was actually the norm for Egyptian young women to be virgins!! So those more traditional religious countries might be good places to look into for those of you with that POV, assuming you're willing to adapt respectfully to the native culture?

A man who rightly marries a woman takes upon himself the responsibility to satisfy her sexually, also. It's a two-way street. If a woman marries a man whose older and responsible from whom she can easily obtain sex, that's okay, too.

If a wife is more likely to get into a pattern of being an obedient wife or providing for her husband's needs if she marries as a teenager, then that is good argument to marry a teen. But some teenage girls are a problem for their parents, and they probably won't be any easier on their husbands once the newness of the relationship wears off. Of course, if she is a nice girl who is obedient to her parents who agree to the marriage, that may not be an issue.

I agree with the first part.
I still hesitate about whether it's really ideal for a girl to marry even in her late teens, out of concern she'll feel boxed into a role a part of her wants to break out of due to never having the chance to live a freer experience, and make the decision to get married later when she's sure she knows what she wants.
I remember reading somewhere that women are biologically tuned to start going into heat and wanting to have babies badly in their late 20's (which seems pretty congruent with observation), which theoretically strikes me as a better time to marry...
But I'm not going to argue about it with those who feel differently: I'm not trying to make the rules or change other men's minds about such matters, just find the best countries to get out of dodge and escape the jewnited states.

As for women's preference for "roles" in a relationship: I agree masculinity, leadership and even dominance in a man is often desired by women who also like traditional relationships, so some of them enjoy being submissive or "obedient" to some extent in turn.
Some of them don't like that though, and I personally also like a woman who's feminine but also more on the fierce and independent side. So my view is that there are types of women that are a prospective good match for everyone, unlike some of the angrier MGTOW who yell about how women who want to be more strong and independent are a threat to a healthy society.

I especially appreciate a fierce woman in the current political and economic climate. I have a hunch the coming years may be a rocky road for wimps (male or female, and/or gender confused). But that's a different topic.

[Outcast9428]

Late 20s seems really late to be having babies. Starting in her late 20s especially is a terrible idea. Women really should not start having babies any latter then their mid 20s. Ideally, a woman will have had all the babies she wanted to have sometime in her early 30s.

[Winston]

I think the comment comes from a perception of women as vulnerable to manipulation and abuse, because men travelling abroad from developed nations to underdeveloped nations will likely have more financial security than the women that gives them power in the relationship. Which IMO it does, because if someone is economically dependent on you they will be more willing to put up with negative behaviour, just like most of us are willing to put up with our bosses and co-workers being assholes, in a way that we wouldn't let anyone in our free time communicate with us like they do.

However, those comments don't take into account the reality that some men get taken financially advantage of by those women they see as only see as being vulnerable.

I don't think those commenters realize that we can't predict which party is going to be predatory, and also that neither party may be predatory and just benign people looking for a partner.

Yeah but this assume that every man who finds a woman abroad is a scumbag and loser jerk. That's what Hollywood portrays, but it's not reality. There are many nice men who find women abroad. Why don't they consider that? And why does every good guy have to find a woman in America or else there's something wrong with him? That's very narrow. Also, some men find equal relationships abroad, like when they find a woman in Poland. Not every guy who dates abroad has a sugar daddy relationship. Some find an equal partnership too.

Btw, how come everyone in all forms of media assumes that you have to stay in America and endure your problems, such as loneliness, depression, isolation, etc? Everyone assumes that, including alternative media and truthers. For some reason, no one sees leaving America as a solution. No one. Not even freethinkers will consider it. They may talk about traveling overseas, but they NEVER talk about it as a solution to your problems. Why is that? How can everyone be so blind universally?

Try this: Tell a truther or freethinker out there about HA. You will notice that a mental block goes up about it. They cannot consider it for some reason. They have a mental block about finding a better or freer or happier life abroad. Even if they are open minded about UFOs, Bigfoot, Ghosts, etc, they cannot fathom going abroad as a solution to fix your problems. It's very inexplicable. How can everyone be universally blind or have a mental block about our solution???!!! Very strange!!!

Even Matt McKinley, at the video link above in my OP, whose comments I posted under, assumes that if you wanna get out of America, you will be living in a cardboard box in the woods, that's what he always says. As if getting out of America is impossible and living overseas isn't an option on the table to consider. Very strange! Why is that? Even the biggest freethinkers all assume this! Why??? Stuff like this makes you question reality!

[Lucas88]

I think the comment comes from a perception of women as vulnerable to manipulation and abuse, because men travelling abroad from developed nations to underdeveloped nations will likely have more financial security than the women that gives them power in the relationship. Which IMO it does, because if someone is economically dependent on you they will be more willing to put up with negative behaviour, just like most of us are willing to put up with our bosses and co-workers being assholes, in a way that we wouldn't let anyone in our free time communicate with us like they do.

However, those comments don't take into account the reality that some men get taken financially advantage of by those women they see as only see as being vulnerable.

I don't think those commenters realize that we can't predict which party is going to be predatory, and also that neither party may be predatory and just benign people looking for a partner.

Yeah but this assume that every man who finds a woman abroad is a scumbag and loser jerk. That's what Hollywood portrays, but it's not reality. There are many nice men who find women abroad. Why don't they consider that? And why does every good guy have to find a woman in America or else there's something wrong with him? That's very narrow. Also, some men find equal relationships abroad, like when they find a woman in Poland. Not every guy who dates abroad has a sugar daddy relationship. Some find an equal partnership too.

Btw, how come everyone in all forms of media assumes that you have to stay in America and endure your problems, such as loneliness, depression, isolation, etc? Everyone assumes that, including alternative media and truthers. For some reason, no one sees leaving America as a solution. No one. Not even freethinkers will consider it. They may talk about traveling overseas, but they NEVER talk about it as a solution to your problems. Why is that? How can everyone be so blind universally?

Try this: Tell a truther or freethinker out there about HA. You will notice that a mental block goes up about it. They cannot consider it for some reason. They have a mental block about finding a better or freer or happier life abroad. Even if they are open minded about UFOs, Bigfoot, Ghosts, etc, they cannot fathom going abroad as a solution to fix your problems. It's very inexplicable. How can everyone be universally blind or have a mental block about our solution???!!! Very strange!!!

Even Matt McKinley, at the video link above in my OP, whose comments I posted under, assumes that if you wanna get out of America, you will be living in a cardboard box in the woods, that's what he always says. As if getting out of America is impossible and living overseas isn't an option on the table to consider. Very strange! Why is that? Even the biggest freethinkers all assume this! Why??? Stuff like this makes you question reality!

I think that the "moral problem" that so many Anglophones have with men like us who go abroad to meet suitable women stems from the fact that they are still stuck in the puritan-inspired Anglo-Saxon mindset (I've written about this in more depth in some of my other posts) which always seeks to divide people into "winners" and "losers" (akin to the earlier Protestant notion of "blessed elect" vs. "reprobates"), to create an underclass of misfits on whom society can look down, to reduce the status of men to that of mere economic utilities in accordance with the toxic Protestant work ethic, and then to reprimand any man who doesn't wish to conform and deny his worthiness for sexual access. Influenced by this twisted mode of thought these Anglophones assume that those of us who aren't successful at dating in Anglo societies or who are misfits in our own cultures must necessarily fall into the loser category or be unworthy members of the underclass which they have conceived in their own collective consciousness and when we do experience dating success abroad this makes them seethe with anger and wish to unleash on us their contempt and make us the object of their petty bullying of nonconformists.

They hate us for the reason that we have escaped their artificial system of winners and losers and culture of male utility and found a better life and more sexual and romantic success in another non-Anglo culture but they are not honest enough to say this upfront. So they need an excuse and now that feminism and women's rights is all the rage the Western liberal narrative of White/Western men abusing and taking advantage of poor, deprived foreign women serves this function perfectly. With this narrative they are first able to demonize us as bad guys, as criminals and degenerates guilty of immoral behavior, and then once our bad guy status is established this gives them free rein to denigrate us as losers and carry out their bullying towards us in a socially acceptable manner. It works very well for them too since they can also mix their now socially acceptable bullying of an underclass demographic with virtue signalling behavior and make themselves look like heroes and crusaders for moral good.

I've found that dating or marrying foreign women doesn't carry anywhere near the same level of social taboo as it does in the Anglosphere. I've lived in Spain where many Spanish men marry Latin American and Eastern European women and I've never heard of them being portrayed as losers who take advantage of underprivileged women. Rather they are just seen as normal people with normal relationships or marriages. The puritan-inspired Anglophone West is a cruel and twisted world much unlike anywhere else. It always seeks to bring others down and pathologize any behavior or trend that doesn't fit the mold of normality and requires some demonizable outgroup to bully. I personally don't give a rat's ass about what Anglo men think of us for our relationships with foreign women. I care even less about what Western feminists think. The Anglophone West is not the be-all end-all nor is it the measure of all things. Rather it's just some bizarre, cranky social dystopia on the fringe of the civilized world and should be regarded as such. Those of us who find greater happiness and wellbeing abroad should pay no attention to the haters.

[Yohan]

Yeah but this assume that every man who finds a woman abroad is a scumbag and loser jerk. That's what Hollywood portrays, but it's not reality. There are many nice men who find women abroad. Why don't they consider that? And why does every good guy have to find a woman in America or else there's something wrong with him? That's very narrow. Also, some men find equal relationships abroad, like when they find a woman in Poland. Not every guy who dates abroad has a sugar daddy relationship. Some find an equal partnership too.

The situation is not everywhere the same, this stupid idea that dating foreign women - especially those of different race - is plainly wrong, exists mainly in English speaking regions - it is also the only area I know which openly had laws against such a relationship in their past.
Check out historical laws in USA, South Africa...pretty bad are also some guys and grrls from UK and Australia...
The dating scene is totally broken in those countries.

It's always about a 'white man' with a foreign woman, but it's never about 'Asian men' for example from South Korea, Japan, Taiwan, China etc. who are also looking for a foreign woman outside of their own nations.

It's totally idiotic to claim that all foreign women are so poor and all men from Western countries are so rich - I am from Europe, living as a permanent resident in Japan, and I can say, I have seen many Japanese women and other Asian women during my more than 40 years living in Asia, who have much more money and own more property than many white men in Western countries.

About myself, my Japanese wife has for sure at least as much money as I have, and our two adult daughters too. We live in a comfortable green environment in a nice condominium building in a smaller city in Japan, have car and motorcycle, have a second home in Thailand near Pattaya, have full medical insurance for life, no debts, no loans ... Do I miss something while living outside of Europe? I don't think so.

However it is hopeless to argue with some hateful US-feminists or stupid male feminists, rcists and such outsiders who have never been outside of their own country and often do not even own a passport...

Only solution is to ignore such people.

There is nothing what they can do about your decision to move away from Western countries and to settle down somewhere else.

Why should you move to abroad? It's an easy answer to that, some men feel not comfortable in Western countries, so they wish to move to a better place...for example if you are retired and alone and receive a small retirement allowance, you should consider relocation to a country which offers you a better climate, a cheaper daily life - you get more for your money...

Relocation is often not related primary to meet foreign women. However if you live permanently abroad why should you not consider to date a local female, and what is wrong to date a foreign woman of different race and often with different religion, different native language etc.

Why should you even consider to talk about that with people who are totally against you, accusing you of this and that which is clearly not true? There is no obligation to reply to them...

[MrMan]

@Winston I notice few American college students are interested in working abroad. International students usually are. Former military who served in some dessert are split.

There are drawbacks to living in developing countries-lack of health inspections, awful traffic, bad sidewalks. And roads can be very narrow in some developed nations. The US is spacious. Americans typically just speak English. A lot of Americans think much of the world is like a big latrine. My ancestors from the UK and Virginia must have been adventurous puoneers, but life was rough and new lands were cheap or free.

Did goung abroad solve your problems. You sure seemed to hate living in Taiwan.

The Philippines sounds fun but tough for people who like a sanitized-looking shopping experience, clean air; health inspected restaurants, and glutten free vegan options.

[shawnberwick]

Yeah but this assume that every man who finds a woman abroad is a scumbag and loser jerk. That's what Hollywood portrays, but it's not reality. There are many nice men who find women abroad. Why don't they consider that?

Putting myself in their shoes, and seeing the world through their ideological lens, I can understand why they negatively generalize. I'm not justifying, but I am using cognitive empathy...

I think it's because they believe (with probably some validity based on what I've seen) a lot of men are traditionalists who look for wives abroad, and so they see the traditionalist relationships as inherently toxic. Traditionalist society was oppressive to women, based on evidence of it's laws - so I believe discouragement of men going abroad to countries where women don't have equal rights to men is seen as negative.

Often times when men seek partners abroad, they aren't usually talking about places like Sweden, Denmark, Norway, etc, which have a robust feminist culture, nor places like Singapore, Monaco, Switzerland, Taiwan, etc, which have a high GDP per capita and women who earn - on average - more than western women.

Most men - myself included - seek women in countries which have a low GDP per capita, and/or have a more patriarchal culture. So they perceive men who look for women in those circumstances as scumbags and loser jerks. I doubt they would talk negatively about a man who said their partner comes from Monaco for example, which is notorious for being wealthy place - however many men have partners from developing patriarchal nations.

And why does every good guy have to find a woman in America or else there's something wrong with him? That's very narrow. Also, some men find equal relationships abroad, like when they find a woman in Poland. Not every guy who dates abroad has a sugar daddy relationship. Some find an equal partnership too.

I agree, but they are making generalizations, just like we do here on HA regarding Western women.

Btw, how come everyone in all forms of media assumes that you have to stay in America and endure your problems, such as loneliness, depression, isolation, etc? Everyone assumes that, including alternative media and truthers. For some reason, no one sees leaving America as a solution. No one. Not even freethinkers will consider it. They may talk about traveling overseas, but they NEVER talk about it as a solution to your problems. Why is that? How can everyone be so blind universally?

Try this: Tell a truther or freethinker out there about HA. You will notice that a mental block goes up about it. They cannot consider it for some reason. They have a mental block about finding a better or freer or happier life abroad. Even if they are open minded about UFOs, Bigfoot, Ghosts, etc, they cannot fathom going abroad as a solution to fix your problems. It's very inexplicable. How can everyone be universally blind or have a mental block about our solution???!!! Very strange!!!

Even Matt McKinley, at the video link above in my OP, whose comments I posted under, assumes that if you wanna get out of America, you will be living in a cardboard box in the woods, that's what he always says. As if getting out of America is impossible and living overseas isn't an option on the table to consider. Very strange! Why is that? Even the biggest freethinkers all assume this! Why??? Stuff like this makes you question reality!

When you say freethinkers, we seem to have a different experience. IME freethinkers tend to question everything, including MSM or mainstream cultures views of foreign societies. Maybe I am biased because my journey into freethinking communities led me to Agorism, digital nomads, etc. My arrogant opinion is that if someone considers themselves a freethinker and is still a nationalist or western-centric, then they aren't. IME the COVID fiasco showed that the most prudent thing for any freethinker to do is have passive income streams and multiple passports. IMO the most interesting western origin free thinkers have travelled a lot, or have emigrated.

I think there's been a heavy brainwashing campaign that outside the west = worthless people and society. (How else would Westerners be OK with sanctions which literally starve kill to death or deny them medical treatments, or military interventions which routinely kill innocent people?).

Personally, I see most of tourism as incredibly superficial, a lot of times people just stay on resorts, or might take a trip to a few landmarks, and so the people of the nation are overlooked because the trip essentially doesn't involve interacting with locals.

Note how the western media couldn't care less about the US and Saudi Arabia bombing and sanctions right now killing adults and children in Yemen, but will post flags and donate money in droves to Ukraine because they are an ally of the West against Russia. Ukrainian lives seem to be worth more than Yemenis lives, simply because of 'official' proximity to the west.

[Space Invaders]

Mark F
7 days ago
Everyone who needs a translation, "Happier Abroad - Expat living and Dating Overseas" actually means, "Complete Dating Failure In America and Entire Western World, So Now Satisfy My Gross Appetites Taking Advantage of Economically Disadvantaged Innocent Women."

This, pretty much. But I don't think the girls are so innocent. I think they know exactly what they're doing.

[Outcast9428]

Mark F
7 days ago
Everyone who needs a translation, "Happier Abroad - Expat living and Dating Overseas" actually means, "Complete Dating Failure In America and Entire Western World, So Now Satisfy My Gross Appetites Taking Advantage of Economically Disadvantaged Innocent Women."

This, pretty much. But I don't think the girls are so innocent. I think they know exactly what they're doing.

If it was gross appetites I was trying to indulge I would go for Western women and be a huge hit with them. Nobody is more depraved in the bedroom then liberated Western women. Its the foreign girls from "economically disadvantaged" countries who want more wholesome, innocent lifestyles which is why I'm going for them.