Rygar1 misconception (pulled from another thread)

[yick]

And there is a massive difference between being 'handsome' and being 'attractive to women' and are in fact, two entirely different things. Elliott Rodger was handsome but very unattractive to women. Women have in built radar about what you're about and what you're not.

Damn, that's a very good point. Personality defects would probably account for this.

So, what's your plan?

Through the years, the site and its patrons have helped a fair few people achieve what they wanted to achieve which was get laid with someone they liked in sunnier climes.

If you stay where you are, nothing will improve, it will still be a sausage fest and the women you want will still be unavailable whilst you might have a choice of fatties and bitter, angry single mum's to choose from, which I don't think you want and I don't blame you - that was my world before I got the hell out of there.

I don't know if you are doing this but you need to do is stop thinking about fixing the situation you are in. The situation you are in is beyond your powers to fix. Most blokes are Homer Simpson, life kicks out their adventure and their curiosity as they sit in their hometown dating single mums because they daren't go for anything better. Like Homer stuffs donuts down his gob without thinking about it, these men are f***ing women they particularly like because there's nothing else but the reality is, there is.

How that Elliot Rodgers didn't get any play is beyond me. He was practically a pretty boy.

I'll reluctantly agree that there are many, too many factors beyond one's control to alter this situation. Even if a guy is overweight, but average facially, he might get some kitty. There were few women over the years who expressed overt interest. One was mid 50s, other mid 40s. They were about a 4 or 5 at most. Both of them were down to earth and eager, so that makes up for it. I probably should have fu cked both of them. It's just hard to get excited about relatively ugly women though.

How did it get to be this way though? WHY do many girls reject, reject, reject? Technology can certainly play a part, as women have SO many guys to choose from, as the world becomes smaller and smaller. Dating becomes global, and my odds decrease substantially as technology increases. But, I dunno, even 15 or 20 years ago, this was still a trend, though not as bad. It like :
1. She has a 'boyfriend'.
2. She makes up excuses
3.Some dates then no interest.

What did these other guys do, these 'boyfriend's do to get them?

As for my plan,....I'm just taking it easy. Focusing on myself, mental health, hobbies, etc.. Using the gym more, deep breathing, and spiritual practices. Cutting back on social media, anger, rage, etc. But it's not easy. I struggle alot.

Why are some men better with women than others? Why some men better at baseball or telling jokes or fighting or arm wrestling or... anything is comparable - some men are better than others because they have a mix of things going for them and they get practice in and a lot of it is down to the gods. It's not about one thing like looks - you never mentioned your height or if you did, I missed it.

Why can't a plan involve going somewhere, just for a holiday and getting laid and getting some female validation from women you like? I am sure staying in this suburban east coast sausagefest is really important to you but why struggle with rage when there is an easy and affordable answer to it?

[Rygar1]

And there is a massive difference between being 'handsome' and being 'attractive to women' and are in fact, two entirely different things. Elliott Rodger was handsome but very unattractive to women. Women have in built radar about what you're about and what you're not.

Damn, that's a very good point. Personality defects would probably account for this.

So, what's your plan?

Through the years, the site and its patrons have helped a fair few people achieve what they wanted to achieve which was get laid with someone they liked in sunnier climes.

If you stay where you are, nothing will improve, it will still be a sausage fest and the women you want will still be unavailable whilst you might have a choice of fatties and bitter, angry single mum's to choose from, which I don't think you want and I don't blame you - that was my world before I got the hell out of there.

I don't know if you are doing this but you need to do is stop thinking about fixing the situation you are in. The situation you are in is beyond your powers to fix. Most blokes are Homer Simpson, life kicks out their adventure and their curiosity as they sit in their hometown dating single mums because they daren't go for anything better. Like Homer stuffs donuts down his gob without thinking about it, these men are f***ing women they particularly like because there's nothing else but the reality is, there is.

How that Elliot Rodgers didn't get any play is beyond me. He was practically a pretty boy.

I'll reluctantly agree that there are many, too many factors beyond one's control to alter this situation. Even if a guy is overweight, but average facially, he might get some kitty. There were few women over the years who expressed overt interest. One was mid 50s, other mid 40s. They were about a 4 or 5 at most. Both of them were down to earth and eager, so that makes up for it. I probably should have fu cked both of them. It's just hard to get excited about relatively ugly women though.

How did it get to be this way though? WHY do many girls reject, reject, reject? Technology can certainly play a part, as women have SO many guys to choose from, as the world becomes smaller and smaller. Dating becomes global, and my odds decrease substantially as technology increases. But, I dunno, even 15 or 20 years ago, this was still a trend, though not as bad. It like :
1. She has a 'boyfriend'.
2. She makes up excuses
3.Some dates then no interest.

What did these other guys do, these 'boyfriend's do to get them?

As for my plan,....I'm just taking it easy. Focusing on myself, mental health, hobbies, etc.. Using the gym more, deep breathing, and spiritual practices. Cutting back on social media, anger, rage, etc. But it's not easy. I struggle alot.

Why are some men better with women than others? Why some men better at baseball or telling jokes or fighting or arm wrestling or... anything is comparable - some men are better than others because they have a mix of things going for them and they get practice in and a lot of it is down to the gods. It's not about one thing like looks - you never mentioned your height or if you did, I missed it.

Why can't a plan involve going somewhere, just for a holiday and getting laid and getting some female validation from women you like? I am sure staying in this suburban east coast sausagefest is really important to you but why struggle with rage when there is an easy and affordable answer to it?

I'm 6'2" for the record, so I'm tall.

I mentioned to hb a while back, I did pretty good teens/20s. Honestly, not trying to brag, I was handsome, and I fu ckin knew it. A pretty boy. Cute. But meek. Passive. Lazy. Unmotivated. Never seemed to CONSISTENTLY have that 'killer instict'(metaphorically speaking!)or raw drive that my peers seemed to have. I mean, a fair amount of cute girls were definitely interested, but I never seemed to attract the 'hotties'. The girls that made your heart beat faster when you saw them or were near them. I hate settling. It's really disappointing.

[yick]

Damn, that's a very good point. Personality defects would probably account for this.

So, what's your plan?

Through the years, the site and its patrons have helped a fair few people achieve what they wanted to achieve which was get laid with someone they liked in sunnier climes.

If you stay where you are, nothing will improve, it will still be a sausage fest and the women you want will still be unavailable whilst you might have a choice of fatties and bitter, angry single mum's to choose from, which I don't think you want and I don't blame you - that was my world before I got the hell out of there.

I don't know if you are doing this but you need to do is stop thinking about fixing the situation you are in. The situation you are in is beyond your powers to fix. Most blokes are Homer Simpson, life kicks out their adventure and their curiosity as they sit in their hometown dating single mums because they daren't go for anything better. Like Homer stuffs donuts down his gob without thinking about it, these men are f***ing women they particularly like because there's nothing else but the reality is, there is.

How that Elliot Rodgers didn't get any play is beyond me. He was practically a pretty boy.

I'll reluctantly agree that there are many, too many factors beyond one's control to alter this situation. Even if a guy is overweight, but average facially, he might get some kitty. There were few women over the years who expressed overt interest. One was mid 50s, other mid 40s. They were about a 4 or 5 at most. Both of them were down to earth and eager, so that makes up for it. I probably should have fu cked both of them. It's just hard to get excited about relatively ugly women though.

How did it get to be this way though? WHY do many girls reject, reject, reject? Technology can certainly play a part, as women have SO many guys to choose from, as the world becomes smaller and smaller. Dating becomes global, and my odds decrease substantially as technology increases. But, I dunno, even 15 or 20 years ago, this was still a trend, though not as bad. It like :
1. She has a 'boyfriend'.
2. She makes up excuses
3.Some dates then no interest.

What did these other guys do, these 'boyfriend's do to get them?

As for my plan,....I'm just taking it easy. Focusing on myself, mental health, hobbies, etc.. Using the gym more, deep breathing, and spiritual practices. Cutting back on social media, anger, rage, etc. But it's not easy. I struggle alot.

Why are some men better with women than others? Why some men better at baseball or telling jokes or fighting or arm wrestling or... anything is comparable - some men are better than others because they have a mix of things going for them and they get practice in and a lot of it is down to the gods. It's not about one thing like looks - you never mentioned your height or if you did, I missed it.

Why can't a plan involve going somewhere, just for a holiday and getting laid and getting some female validation from women you like? I am sure staying in this suburban east coast sausagefest is really important to you but why struggle with rage when there is an easy and affordable answer to it?

I'm 6'2" for the record, so I'm tall.

I mentioned to hb a while back, I did pretty good teens/20s. Honestly, not trying to brag, I was handsome, and I fu ckin knew it. A pretty boy. Cute. But meek. Passive. Lazy. Unmotivated. Never seemed to CONSISTENTLY have that 'killer instict'(metaphorically speaking!)or raw drive that my peers seemed to have. I mean, a fair amount of cute girls were definitely interested, but I never seemed to attract the 'hotties'. The girls that made your heart beat faster when you saw them or were near them. I hate settling. It's really disappointing.

Good luck with it all!

[Rygar1]

So, what's your plan?

Through the years, the site and its patrons have helped a fair few people achieve what they wanted to achieve which was get laid with someone they liked in sunnier climes.

If you stay where you are, nothing will improve, it will still be a sausage fest and the women you want will still be unavailable whilst you might have a choice of fatties and bitter, angry single mum's to choose from, which I don't think you want and I don't blame you - that was my world before I got the hell out of there.

I don't know if you are doing this but you need to do is stop thinking about fixing the situation you are in. The situation you are in is beyond your powers to fix. Most blokes are Homer Simpson, life kicks out their adventure and their curiosity as they sit in their hometown dating single mums because they daren't go for anything better. Like Homer stuffs donuts down his gob without thinking about it, these men are f***ing women they particularly like because there's nothing else but the reality is, there is.

How that Elliot Rodgers didn't get any play is beyond me. He was practically a pretty boy.

I'll reluctantly agree that there are many, too many factors beyond one's control to alter this situation. Even if a guy is overweight, but average facially, he might get some kitty. There were few women over the years who expressed overt interest. One was mid 50s, other mid 40s. They were about a 4 or 5 at most. Both of them were down to earth and eager, so that makes up for it. I probably should have fu cked both of them. It's just hard to get excited about relatively ugly women though.

How did it get to be this way though? WHY do many girls reject, reject, reject? Technology can certainly play a part, as women have SO many guys to choose from, as the world becomes smaller and smaller. Dating becomes global, and my odds decrease substantially as technology increases. But, I dunno, even 15 or 20 years ago, this was still a trend, though not as bad. It like :
1. She has a 'boyfriend'.
2. She makes up excuses
3.Some dates then no interest.

What did these other guys do, these 'boyfriend's do to get them?

As for my plan,....I'm just taking it easy. Focusing on myself, mental health, hobbies, etc.. Using the gym more, deep breathing, and spiritual practices. Cutting back on social media, anger, rage, etc. But it's not easy. I struggle alot.

Why are some men better with women than others? Why some men better at baseball or telling jokes or fighting or arm wrestling or... anything is comparable - some men are better than others because they have a mix of things going for them and they get practice in and a lot of it is down to the gods. It's not about one thing like looks - you never mentioned your height or if you did, I missed it.

Why can't a plan involve going somewhere, just for a holiday and getting laid and getting some female validation from women you like? I am sure staying in this suburban east coast sausagefest is really important to you but why struggle with rage when there is an easy and affordable answer to it?

I'm 6'2" for the record, so I'm tall.

I mentioned to hb a while back, I did pretty good teens/20s. Honestly, not trying to brag, I was handsome, and I fu ckin knew it. A pretty boy. Cute. But meek. Passive. Lazy. Unmotivated. Never seemed to CONSISTENTLY have that 'killer instict'(metaphorically speaking!)or raw drive that my peers seemed to have. I mean, a fair amount of cute girls were definitely interested, but I never seemed to attract the 'hotties'. The girls that made your heart beat faster when you saw them or were near them. I hate settling. It's really disappointing.

Good luck with it all!

I dont think luck will help, should I just forget about this for awhile?

[yick]

How that Elliot Rodgers didn't get any play is beyond me. He was practically a pretty boy.

I'll reluctantly agree that there are many, too many factors beyond one's control to alter this situation. Even if a guy is overweight, but average facially, he might get some kitty. There were few women over the years who expressed overt interest. One was mid 50s, other mid 40s. They were about a 4 or 5 at most. Both of them were down to earth and eager, so that makes up for it. I probably should have fu cked both of them. It's just hard to get excited about relatively ugly women though.

How did it get to be this way though? WHY do many girls reject, reject, reject? Technology can certainly play a part, as women have SO many guys to choose from, as the world becomes smaller and smaller. Dating becomes global, and my odds decrease substantially as technology increases. But, I dunno, even 15 or 20 years ago, this was still a trend, though not as bad. It like :
1. She has a 'boyfriend'.
2. She makes up excuses
3.Some dates then no interest.

What did these other guys do, these 'boyfriend's do to get them?

As for my plan,....I'm just taking it easy. Focusing on myself, mental health, hobbies, etc.. Using the gym more, deep breathing, and spiritual practices. Cutting back on social media, anger, rage, etc. But it's not easy. I struggle alot.

Why are some men better with women than others? Why some men better at baseball or telling jokes or fighting or arm wrestling or... anything is comparable - some men are better than others because they have a mix of things going for them and they get practice in and a lot of it is down to the gods. It's not about one thing like looks - you never mentioned your height or if you did, I missed it.

Why can't a plan involve going somewhere, just for a holiday and getting laid and getting some female validation from women you like? I am sure staying in this suburban east coast sausagefest is really important to you but why struggle with rage when there is an easy and affordable answer to it?

I'm 6'2" for the record, so I'm tall.

I mentioned to hb a while back, I did pretty good teens/20s. Honestly, not trying to brag, I was handsome, and I fu ckin knew it. A pretty boy. Cute. But meek. Passive. Lazy. Unmotivated. Never seemed to CONSISTENTLY have that 'killer instict'(metaphorically speaking!)or raw drive that my peers seemed to have. I mean, a fair amount of cute girls were definitely interested, but I never seemed to attract the 'hotties'. The girls that made your heart beat faster when you saw them or were near them. I hate settling. It's really disappointing.

Good luck with it all!

I dont think luck will help, should I just forget about this for awhile?

Reminiscing about what you were isn't helping you now.

Staying where you are isn't going to help, you will just get older and more invisible.

I have given you a path to follow, the one I did, @Shemp has advised you too but it does need you to do something about it. If you want to vent about how terrible the current situation is for you in suburban New Jersey then there's nothing really we can help you with. If it helps, I am sure we all agree the situation is bad and it isn't your fault but it isn't changing either and no it isn't the same everywhere else.

[Rygar1]

Why are some men better with women than others? Why some men better at baseball or telling jokes or fighting or arm wrestling or... anything is comparable - some men are better than others because they have a mix of things going for them and they get practice in and a lot of it is down to the gods. It's not about one thing like looks - you never mentioned your height or if you did, I missed it.

Why can't a plan involve going somewhere, just for a holiday and getting laid and getting some female validation from women you like? I am sure staying in this suburban east coast sausagefest is really important to you but why struggle with rage when there is an easy and affordable answer to it?

I'm 6'2" for the record, so I'm tall.

I mentioned to hb a while back, I did pretty good teens/20s. Honestly, not trying to brag, I was handsome, and I fu ckin knew it. A pretty boy. Cute. But meek. Passive. Lazy. Unmotivated. Never seemed to CONSISTENTLY have that 'killer instict'(metaphorically speaking!)or raw drive that my peers seemed to have. I mean, a fair amount of cute girls were definitely interested, but I never seemed to attract the 'hotties'. The girls that made your heart beat faster when you saw them or were near them. I hate settling. It's really disappointing.

Good luck with it all!

I dont think luck will help, should I just forget about this for awhile?

Reminiscing about what you were isn't helping you now.

Staying where you are isn't going to help, you will just get older and more invisible.

I have given you a path to follow, the one I did, @Shemp has advised you too but it does need you to do something about it. If you want to vent about how terrible the current situation is for you in suburban New Jersey then there's nothing really we can help you with. If it helps, I am sure we all agree the situation is bad and it isn't your fault but it isn't changing either and no it isn't the same everywhere else.

You just wonder where did it all go wrong? Have you? Like, you're a kid, energetic, competent, popular, mentally healthy. High school years come along, and you lose some if it, but you still have alot, then your 20s lose even more. 30s and beyond, you lose alot of it. Is this what they call a mid life crisis?

Have alot of guys realized this? Say what you want about hb2345, he said something profound. That I'm very close to just withering up and dying on the inside. It's only a few years away at my age. Does everyone go through this? Every day it's getting harder and harder to get up out of bed in the morning.

I've been trying to stop blaming others, society, etc.so when you say it isn't my fault, I'm inclined to agree, but others would disagree. What do you mean, specifically? The game is rigged and I have no control over huge social forces that operate on a global scale?

[yick]

I'm 6'2" for the record, so I'm tall.

I mentioned to hb a while back, I did pretty good teens/20s. Honestly, not trying to brag, I was handsome, and I fu ckin knew it. A pretty boy. Cute. But meek. Passive. Lazy. Unmotivated. Never seemed to CONSISTENTLY have that 'killer instict'(metaphorically speaking!)or raw drive that my peers seemed to have. I mean, a fair amount of cute girls were definitely interested, but I never seemed to attract the 'hotties'. The girls that made your heart beat faster when you saw them or were near them. I hate settling. It's really disappointing.

Good luck with it all!

I dont think luck will help, should I just forget about this for awhile?

Reminiscing about what you were isn't helping you now.

Staying where you are isn't going to help, you will just get older and more invisible.

I have given you a path to follow, the one I did, @Shemp has advised you too but it does need you to do something about it. If you want to vent about how terrible the current situation is for you in suburban New Jersey then there's nothing really we can help you with. If it helps, I am sure we all agree the situation is bad and it isn't your fault but it isn't changing either and no it isn't the same everywhere else.

You just wonder where did it all go wrong? Have you? Like, you're a kid, energetic, competent, popular, mentally healthy. High school years come along, and you lose some if it, but you still have alot, then your 20s lose even more. 30s and beyond, you lose alot of it. Is this what they call a mid life crisis?

Have alot of guys realized this? Say what you want about hb2345, he said something profound. That I'm very close to just withering up and dying on the inside. It's only a few years away at my age. Does everyone go through this? Every day it's getting harder and harder to get up out of bed in the morning.

I've been trying to stop blaming others, society, etc.so when you say it isn't my fault, I'm inclined to agree, but others would disagree. What do you mean, specifically? The game is rigged and I have no control over huge social forces that operate on a global scale?

I did when I was younger and then I did something about it. I understood there was a big wide world out there and that place I left was an energy sucking hole with a great big black cloud over it where people are always fighting, there is a mass depression over it and people are unhappy and since leaving I have been happier and things have become more natural and in tune with the universe, the way it should be.

Obviously you have no control over wider society and how the very few non-obese women who you like see you, there are so few of them in your country that you are always playing against the odds, so stop playing the game there - if you knew the one armed bandit in a particular bar was rigged for you to lose every time you put money in it, you would stop putting money in it, you wouldn't get depressed about it, you would go and find another bar with a fruit machine that wasn't rigged so you have a chance of winning.

You don't have control over the macro but you do with the micro - you can't change a lot of things but there are things you can change that will make a massive difference. You're on a website called 'Happier Abroad' what do you think the advice should be? Stay right there and slide into old age unhappy and single? Slide into such a depressive state where you feel like ending it?

f***ing fight it! You're a man, the descendant of your ancestors who took a chance with America. Be the person your ancestors were, it didn't work for them, they moved!

[Voyager1]

yick is so happy
yick is so happy
so happy and free
he failed in China
he failed in mainland China
now he's off to Peru

[Shemp]

Anyone who expects women or going abroad to make them happy is a fool, same as anyone who thinks money or fame will make them happy. That isn't too say these things don't matter. If these things are available, by all means take advantage of the situation to enjoy them. Happiness comes mostly from control of the mind, though diet, exercise, sleep, stress and other factors that affect the body are also extremely important. External things will not help if you can't control your mind or your body is not healthy.

I'm not sure what @Rygar1's job/money situation is. Maybe he discussed it in those threads with hb2345. Money is important in life and I would be very cautious about advising someone with a high paying job/business to give it up just because his personal life is miserable. Better to first save up a nice pot of savings and then make drastic lifestyle changes like moving abroad. @yick was able to combine moving abroad with a better career, but that is not always possible.

I strongly advise social dancing for Rygar1. But not tango, because it takes too long to master and the culture in USA is not amenable to tango dancing. Salsa would be much better. Focus on mastering dance skills, plus the related social skills of inviting girls to dance and dealing with occasional (or possibly frequent, in bad venues) girls who are unpleasant dance partners. These skills will be useful forever, plus he will learn a lot about himself by social dancing regularly. Salsa dancing is closely related to swing and other popular dances, so if you master one, the others become much easier. Tango is the outlier, but also far and away the best music and best dance style, IMO.

[yick]

yick is so happy
yick is so happy
so happy and free
he failed in China
he failed in mainland China
now he's off to Peru

You're not listening to @Winston , hasn't he given you a warning already? You'll be banned and the general IQ of the board will rise once again.

[yick]

yick is so happy
yick is so happy
so happy and free
he failed in China
he failed in mainland China
now he's off to Peru

You're not listening to @Winston , hasn't he given you a warning already? You'll be banned and the general IQ of the board will rise once again.

[yick]

yick is so happy
yick is so happy
so happy and free
he failed in China
he failed in mainland China
now he's off to Peru

You're not listening to @Winston , hasn't he given you a warning already? You'll be banned and the general IQ of the board will rise once again.

[yick]

yick is so happy
yick is so happy
so happy and free
he failed in China
he failed in mainland China
now he's off to Peru

You're not listening to @Winston , hasn't he given you a warning already? You'll be banned and the general IQ of the board will rise once again.

[yick]

You're not listening to @Winston , hasn't he given you a warning already? You'll be banned and the general IQ of the board will rise once again.

[yick]

You're not listening to @Winston , hasn't he given you a warning already? You'll be banned and the general IQ of the board will rise once again.