I had the best experience in Indonesia. Lots of people wanted to take my picture and talk to me.
But I don't think foreigners are respected as much here in Thailand(you can guess why..)

You?
Lad, what have you been smoking lately? So you really feel like a rock-star in PI when you’re really just seen as a walking ATM??? Rock stars don’t pay their fans! Don’t you get it? Almost any young local woman who has her own real money wants nothing to do with you as a foreigner. Your Tagalog and dialect fluency do not give you a ‘local pass’.ladislav wrote:In the Philippines, that is the case, especially in the Visayan regions ( Southern). And being an American is a wow to the masses. Raised on Hollywood movies, every American to many here is a demi-god-like being that is born with a million dollars to his name and lives in sunny Hollywood. An American is also a super hero that had saved their country from the Japanese. This is how the populace sees you. Never mind the recession, high debt, unemployment in the US. None of that exists in the mind of an average Filipino.
In Thailand, they respect Oriental foreigners but not white ones- and no it is not sex tourism thing originally, the latter is just another charge to the farang's already bad name. Because Singaporeans and Malaysians and Japanese and Koreans also go to Thailand for sex and there is still respect for them and a big welcome.
White people are seen as invaders and ruiners of Thai culture as well as just a nuisance- they are a different, not a very welcome race with different, annoying customs. And the Thais have been taught that they are a never colonized master race of Asia and to mistrust the smelly farang.
I find the Thai attitude to white people similar to how Europeans ( used to) treat.view Jews.
Indonesia does seem to be good, though, although I do not think having a picture taken with you is a sign of respect/being a rock star. More like being a novelty. I take pictures with big apes in the zoo, it does not mean I think they are rock stars.
Rock... I read the same Stickman article last week and I was intrigued! Frankly I was a bit shocked that Stick got all that attention from the Thai women at this venue! It's a real head scratcher because it is counter to everything that we've previously described when discussing farangs and real Thais.Rock wrote:Lad, what have you been smoking lately? So you really feel like a rock-star in PI when you’re really just seen as a walking ATM??? Rock stars don’t pay their fans! Don’t you get it? Almost any young local woman who has her own real money wants nothing to do with you as a foreigner. Your Tagalog and dialect fluency do not give you a ‘local pass’.ladislav wrote:In the Philippines, that is the case, especially in the Visayan regions ( Southern). And being an American is a wow to the masses. Raised on Hollywood movies, every American to many here is a demi-god-like being that is born with a million dollars to his name and lives in sunny Hollywood. An American is also a super hero that had saved their country from the Japanese. This is how the populace sees you. Never mind the recession, high debt, unemployment in the US. None of that exists in the mind of an average Filipino.
In Thailand, they respect Oriental foreigners but not white ones- and no it is not sex tourism thing originally, the latter is just another charge to the farang's already bad name. Because Singaporeans and Malaysians and Japanese and Koreans also go to Thailand for sex and there is still respect for them and a big welcome.
White people are seen as invaders and ruiners of Thai culture as well as just a nuisance- they are a different, not a very welcome race with different, annoying customs. And the Thais have been taught that they are a never colonized master race of Asia and to mistrust the smelly farang.
I find the Thai attitude to white people similar to how Europeans ( used to) treat.view Jews.
Indonesia does seem to be good, though, although I do not think having a picture taken with you is a sign of respect/being a rock star. More like being a novelty. I take pictures with big apes in the zoo, it does not mean I think they are rock stars.
As for Thailand, what you state is your opinion, not fact. And it’s based on what, 2-3 years in country over 15 years ago? Consider a recent night-out to a non-farang Thai club by Stickman – a white guy (around 40 I think) who speaks Thai and has been on-the-ground blogging about social and cultural aspects of Thailand along with its farang bar-industry for over 10 years up to the present. If locals hate white foreigners as you say, how do you explain the welcome he and many others get in Thai oriented venues? You really seem to be projecting your own bad experiences from the deep past onto the bigger picture. Thailand works for a lot of white guys, even those who speak fluent Thai and understand ever little utterance made by those around them.
Here’s the link: http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Stickman ... nd-Lee.htm
I've pasted it below:
Imagine a venue the size of a large old cinema auditorium, you know, the sort of auditorium that could seat 1,000 or so people, from the days of real cinemas. Imagine that it was as dark inside as a cinema auditorium, and with music much, much louder than a Thai cinema. Imagine some of the best artists in Thailand performing live. And imagine – and I exaggerate not – that 2/3 of the customers are female, and 95% are aged early 20s to late 30s. And imagine, if you will, that not only are a good percentage open-minded to meeting a white man, but you and your mate are the only two white guys in the place!
Stick and Lecherous Lee, Batman and Robin if you will, are burned out on Sukhumvit. We long ago tired of the country maidens, the relatively high prices and the downright poor service. Tourists may love them, but to us Cowboy and Nana are a bore. So these days we spend our nights out in Thai-style venues. And we have a blast!
Our favourite venue looks like a barn from outside. It's basic, but with that said, the lighting system is anything but basic, lighting up a large stage where various acts perform throughout the night. House bands some nights, guest performers on others. You wouldn't call the place flash, but it's clean and comfortably cool.
There are hundreds of tables. Not quite the plastic chairs and metal tables you get at streetside food vendors, but not really built for comfort either. At one end of each table is a small trolley where bottles of drinks for the table are placed - usually whiskey, mixers and a bucket of ice.
99.9% of the customers are Thai so that means Thai music with only the odd song in English. With that said, time it right and you might just see Thai stars perform mini concerts including some of the biggest names, like Loso or Carabao. The music is loud. Thai loud. Too loud.
Drinking is Thai-style and the vast majority of customers drink whiskey. Typically customers buy a large bottle, mixers are provided and everyone at the table drinks the same thing. On a per glass basis, it works out real cheap. Wait staff fall over themselves to make sure that your glass is near full, topping it up with your choice of soda, Coke or water.
Beer is available and is unusually good. Excellent micro-brewed beer is just 120 baht a half litre, and available in larger jugs or beer towers at prices that compare favourably with anything on Sukhumvit or Silom.
The dance floor is but the small spaces between tables. Pesky toilet attendants rub your back when you're hanging the sausage out at the urinal. In other words the venue is designed for Thais. Not a single consideration is given to foreigners. I don't even think there are menus in English and the staff are not expected to speak farang. We shouldn't like these venues, but we do. No, we love these places. Each week the excitement builds up, day by day, to our one night out a week in these venues. We really look forward to our night out Thai-style!
On this particular night we arrived early, around 8:30 PM. It was less than a 100 baht taxi ride from The Londoner, where we'd just stuffed ourselves on a gourmet meal for what amounted to peanuts. We somehow scored one of the best tables in the house, three tables from the front and slap in the centre. We had a great view of the stage, weren't too close to the speakers and most importantly, out tables was surrounded by other tables. And those tables were full of local women!
Being the only two foreigners in a cavernous venue makes us rather a novelty. We know it, we revel in it and we exploit it!
Really not that far from the farang district of Sukhumvit and only a few kilometres from the skytrain, it feels like we were in another city. Yet this is still Bangkok. The real Bangkok, not the farang version.
Meeting locals is easy. It's as simple as being neatly dressed and wearing your best smile. Look like you're fun, and the Thais want to know you. Smile a lot and they will be all over you. As they fill their glasses and toast each other, expect glasses to be thrust in your direction from adjacent tables as they dare to break the ice and say hello to the foreigners.
And it's not just the girls, but the guys who are keen to chat with foreigners. Inevitably it will be about football, but soon the conversation will turn to Thai women. They say that Thai men aren't keen on Westerners coming and taking their women, but where the middle classes are found, local guys are eager to pair you off with a local lass. Once they're satisfied that you're ok, they'll be pulling girls over to you, from their table, or maybe even others!
Before we know it we're chatting with ladies at the tables around us. Glasses are thrust at us. They'd initiate conversation in English, but be thrilled to discover we can speak their lingo. With that said, it can be a struggle when your ears are ringing with deafening Thai rock music pounding from every direction and a Thai lass's excitement overcoming her as she drifts into slang and speaks a million miles an hour.
Excited conversation is followed by you being pulled to your feet, an invitation to show off your best dancing moves. Drinking, singing, dancing. To the locals it's all sanuk. Dance with her and she'll be interested.
As they night goes on, they fight to manoeuvre into your space, to dance with you. Girls from one table jump in between you and the girl you're dancing with. It's the Thai way, how they famously yang-gun over a guy - try and pull one guy from another girl. If you didn't come with her, you're fair game. Even if you did, she might try and slip you her number. Phone numbers come from all directions and you need to be organised to remember who's who.
One girl was showing a lot of interest, dancing all around me and getting a bit touchy feely. Hands around the waist, pulling me closer, giving all the right signals.
The night accelerates towards the 2 AM closure, and with 4 long islands down me before we even got there, it only took a few beers to play havoc with the system. Some time around 1:30 AM we decide to make a beeline for the exit. The bird who was showing major interest had slipped off to the loo so I didn't have a chance to say goodbye.
As we staggered out of the venue, our ears ringing, our heads shaking and our stomachs ready to empty themselves of the ridiculous overdose of putrid sugars we'd consumed, we manage to get ourselves into a cab. In the midst of explaining to the driver where we wanted to go – no easy task when we were both rotten drunk - dropping me off at Stick HQ before depositing Lee back at his place, all hell breaks loose!
With the cab reversing, the door on my side, behind the driver, is flung open. Was it the boys in brown? Were we about to be interrogated in the car park? Is it some sort of offence for foreigners to party with good girls?
But it wasn't the cops. It was a girl I'd been dancing with. She had managed to open the door of a moving vehicle and successfully leap on to my lap, gogo girl style!
“Where you go?�
“Why you go?�
“You not want go with me?�
The questions came thick and fast, question after question before I could even answer the first.
“I'm tired and need to sleep�, I protest, the thought of a long sleep in my comfortable bed more appealing than a ride with this creature from heaven.
It's a crazy life in Thailand. There I was, with a pretty, 20-something Thai woman throwing herself at me. She was all mine. There was no pretention. There'd be no palm held out in the morning. She'd be there because she wanted to be there. But it was late. I made out that I had a busy day the next day. To her shock and amazement, I turned her down. That didn't resonate with the stories Thais have about farangs all being sex crazy. A lovely Thai woman was throwing herself at me and I turned her down. Maybe I'll regret it when I am on my death bed and have but minutes left on this earth?
As she pleaded with me in the back of the taxi, which was now blocking the car park, to go with her, I remember Lee muttering something to the effect that I had better tip the driver well. With much effort I eventually managed to open the door and gently ease her out.
On the way home we reflected on how guys in the West would kill for such a night out, and how many simply wouldn't believe some of what we get up to.
This was but one such night out. There have been many, and no doubt there will be many more.
I still had a buzz going the next morning, and it wasn't because I'd had too much to drink. It's seldom you have such a great night out, but as I woke up the next morning and prepared myself for the day ahead, I was already thinking ahead to the following week, when we would do it all over again!
Such venues exist all over Bangkok, and in every large, medium and even some small towns around Thailand you'll find similar.
You don't have to be able to speak Thai to enjoy these places although it probably helps. Westerners are welcome and whether you speak Thai or not, the service staff will do their best to help you, using what little English they have, or perhaps dragging over a member of staff who is known to speak farang.
Many feel they've arrived in heaven when they first discover the bar industry in Thailand. Most realise, sooner or later, that it's all about the money.
Those relocating to the Kingdom think they've found paradise when they sign up for one of the better online dating sites with huge numbers of women keen to meet them. But again, in time, they realise that it is not the Holy Grail. Many women on farang-centric dating sites are farang-crazy. They want you because you are farang. Translation: Almost any farang will do.
It's when you back yourself to meet Thai women a more conventional way, real Thai women in real settings, the places you might typical meet someone in your own country, that I reckon you're starting to get closer to the Holy Grail.
Admittedly these aren't places for those who are most concerned about the end game. These are fun venues where there's a great night out to be had and with the right attitude and a bit of luck, anything is possible. Sometimes I think you need the looks of Brad Pitt and the money of Bill Gates to have fun like this in the West.
It takes guts to pick up your life and move it from your homeland to the other side of the world, from one continent to another, to a place where you don't know the language, where there are no guarantees and nothing in the way of job security. So why do guys go to all the effort to up sticks and move to Thailand, yet when they get here confine themselves to 1 or 2 square kilometres of the country? Why is it that so many only know Sukhumvit - and only a short strip of it at that? These venues that Lee and I go to are open to foreigners and yes, you really are very welcome! And no, you don't need a visa to visit!
There's so much fun to be had in the Thai venues and for us it's hard to justify visiting the likes of Nana or Cowboy. The Thai style venues are just so much fun.
If you want to go there, jump in any cab and tell the driver to take you to......
These venues are everywhere! Head out into the suburbs and when you see a barn with a neon sign in Thai, a full car park and local music wafting across the steamy South-East Asian night, you're exactly where you want to be. Keep an open-mind and you might just have a great time.
I don't think its counter to everything. Even on this forum, I've posted somewhat alternative points of view and some others have posted along similar lines. I also know of other white guys who do fine there - some in Bangkok and others off-the-beaten track. Some speak fluent Thai and/or a dialect as well.pete98146 wrote:
Rock... I read the same Stickman article last week and I was intrigued! Frankly I was a bit shocked that Stick got all that attention from the Thai women at this venue! It's a real head scratcher because it is counter to everything that we've previously described when discussing farangs and real Thais.
Back on topic, I've gotten the Rock Star treatment pretty much any time I went into the provinces in Phils. But then again, I'm 6'4 and 220lbs and I look Scandinavian. Also received RS status quite a bit in Brazil. Countries in which I didn't get RS status: Thailand and Vietnam.
Well I think Lad will tell you that he got the worst treatment in the all Thai areas. I really don't get why all that shit went down with him and some of his buddies. Perhaps during that particular period, everyone was pissed-off at us westerners for AIDS? It was a long time ago so really hard to say for sure.MrPeabody wrote:When I was in Bangkok, I stayed in a gated community which was designed for the Thai middle class and not foreigners. Although, I did see a few older men there with younger Thai wives, and everyone was treated normally. If you go to Thailand, I would recommend staying well away from the pay for play areas and live with the Thai middle class. Maybe that’s why I have a better impression of the country. The whole point of moving to a foreign country is to have a high quality relationship where women really want you. I have seen pictures of the pay for play girls and they all look ugly. I don’t know why guys travel thousands of miles for this. It’s not worth it to move to a foreign county to just pay prostitutes. Just stay home, make money, and go on your vacation. In the civilian world, I saw women who were quite attractive looking both outside and inside. The prettiest girl in my class asked to have her picture taken with me the last day.
Just to address the OP, you will tend to get attention in very poor countries. Because in those places, people see you the way Americans would see someone worth 10s of millions of dollars. People want to know you, do business with you, serve you, and in some cases, even date you, mainly because they think you are rich. You will get lots of this sort of attention in much of Sub-Saharan Africa, poorer areas of Caribbean and LatAm, and a bit of poor Asia. But your 'fans' will generally be short-term oriented so will try to realize some benefit in having a relationship right away.newlife wrote:What countries have you been to that you've receive a lot of attention or respect just for being a foreigner?
I had the best experience in Indonesia. Lots of people wanted to take my picture and talk to me.
But I don't think foreigners are respected as much here in Thailand(you can guess why..)
You?
Hmm, I wish American girls were more slutty with guys like me when I lived in the States. For a lot of us, they put-out about as much as a nun. As far as developed western countries go, I would imagine a very liberal area such as Scandinavia would be much better for getting needs met as a single guy.OutWest wrote:
If you are looking for fun, middle class Filipinas and many of the others as well are not interested in putting out for you. I know some poor girls as well, who have absolutely high standards.
Many American men say they dislike slutty American girls, and yet they are dismayed when foreign girls do not act like...slutty American girls.
My advice to local girls is to be very careful about visiting western men. No matter what they promise, most are looking for a hit and run deal.
Outwest
This is blaming the victim. How come no bad reaction in Malaysia or the Philippines to me being me? But I was in Thailand when two things were happening- the sudden AIDS epidemics- blamed on the farang ( not the shared needles and brothels) and new, unprecedented prosperity- the people were becoming very stuck up. My "buddies" were mostly English teachers so they lived in lower income housing and non rich areas. All were complaining of racial discrimination and endless taunting. Mind you not all Thais were doing it and some were really nice- many, actually, but again, if you move into a hard black neighborhood in NY, not all blacks will hate you for being white but you will have daily unfriendliness to deal with from others. At one university where I worked half the staff would simply pretend western teachers did not exist. Like you were not there. It was far far worse than Japan. And how many times girls would tell me, and the local guys, that a Thai girl walking with me is something that the local society does not approve. Also, outside of tourist areas, you would be kicked out of bars or people would give you dirty unwelcoming looks.Well I think Lad will tell you that he got the worst treatment in the all Thai areas. I really don't get why all that shit went down with him and some of his buddies. Perhaps during that particular period, everyone was pissed-off at us westerners for AIDS? It was a long time ago so really hard to say for sure.
.... you may turn a lot of them off to you without even realizing it.
Also, a lot of people don't spend that much time, actually living in another country. For me, it was quite clear that there were several layers to how westerners interacted with Thai society. The bar/tourist scene vs the high echelon ex-pats, vs the lone wolf farangs. In all categories, there were differences in which Thais would treat farangs. I knew a lone wolf type, with a near photogenic memory, who knew Thai, Chinese, and a host of other Asian languages like the back of his hand. Many of those bigoted Thais avoided him like the plague while others, embraced him as a second cousin. He busted peoples' games and was never conned like other farangs, he knew over the years. Then, the high echelons (Jim Thompson wannabes) live in a separated reality where only certain Thais would have anything to do with them, while others treated 'em as invisible. And then, there are those who live simpler, out in the countryside like near Ubon province and are almost like family to people living there. And yes, Malaysia is much more open, socially that is, than Thailand but I think that's perhaps a function of the fact that most Malays (including the Chinese & Indian diasporas there) are English native speakers. Personally, I'd found Singaporeans to also be quite approachable.ladislav wrote:How come other guys are not having the same experience? Well, maybe, they choose to ignore the unfriendly bigoted Thais and go for the ones who are friendly. The saying among expats is that 50% of Thais look up to you and 50% look down on you. In the Philippines, it is like 90/10%. So, maybe these guys just concentrate on those friendly Thais that
I guess I was one.I knew a lone wolf type, with a near photogenic memory, who knew Thai, Chinese, and a host of other Asian languages like the back of his hand. Many of those bigoted Thais avoided him like the plague while others, embraced him as a second cousin...
and I guess some people do not mind it.Then, the high echelons (Jim Thompson wannabes) live in a separated reality where only certain Thais would have anything to do with them, while others treated 'em as invisible.
Because the people there are Lao ethnically. Same with Surin and Buriram- they are Khmers and are very good people.And then, there are those who live simpler, out in the countryside like near Ubon province and are almost like family to people living there.
A lot of the Oriental standoffishness is due to the fact that they simply cannot conceive of another race speaking their language and thus avoid them. Unlike white people who would simply speak to others in the language of the country. With the advent of English becoming an international tongue, the face concsious Asians run away from white people because they cannot speak English well and a white person who speaks an Oriental language is a shock to them.And yes, Malaysia is much more open, socially that is, than Thailand but I think that's perhaps a function of the fact that most Malays (including the Chinese & Indian diasporas there) are English native speakers. Personally, I'd found Singaporeans to also be quite approachable.