Why have I always been unpopular?

miss_conduct · Post by **miss_conduct** » January 25th, 2012, 6:06 pm

Hi all,

I just came around looking to vent my frustrations because this looked like the perfect place. I have read so many forum threads about lack of success with women, that I wanted to chime in and give the perspective of a woman who has had very little success with men.

First of all, I have a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. It causes a lack of or delay in social functioning. It is a lifelong condition that you are born with. It is getting a lot of popularity in the media these days. I have always led the life of a social reject. I had never been to a slumber party the Prom, homecoming game, you name it.

I didn't start dating early. I have always felt brushed aside by men. I have been known to act in desperation because my dating choices have been so few, maybe limited to "nerdy" type of guys. All the other men I feel like have put me in the "friend or buddy" zone. This has caused me a lot of distress over the years espercially between the ages of 18 and 30. I haven't dated much over the years. I have a fiance I love dearly but I never did meet him until I was about 31.

I had to watch other women my age over the years have beautiful engagements and weddings, and I always thought why not me? what is wrong with me?

How common is it for women like me, who don't conform to society's expectations, to feel overlooked and rejected by men? Is society just screwed up in America? Right now I have very few close friends and am planning to get married via JOP because of this.

ANy advice?

The Arab · Post by **The Arab** » January 25th, 2012, 7:43 pm

Cool story bro

Pugilist · Post by **Pugilist** » January 25th, 2012, 7:47 pm

well sweetheart i couldnt answer that because im not a female there arent that many females on this forum i guess

The Arab · Post by **The Arab** » January 25th, 2012, 7:49 pm

*sigh*

Am I the only one with troll-detecting capabilities ?

TS is a male and acting, it's obvious to me.

colibri · Post by **colibri** » January 25th, 2012, 7:59 pm

The Arab wrote:*sigh*

Am I the only one with troll-detecting capabilities ?

TS is a male and acting, it's obvious to me.

dunno

i was about to send her a pm but u made me think twice

Twobrains · Post by **Twobrains** » January 26th, 2012, 7:18 am

Looking at her posting history, I think she may be genuine. A troll would post a lot more, to get the attention. Anyway, I'll bite.

M-c, you say you have Asperger's. One book I read about that (The Essential Difference by Baron-Cohen) said that Asperger's and autism are on a spectrum that ranges from extremely male brains (over-systematising) to extremely female (over-empathising). Both would be on the male brain side, autism more extreme than Asperger's. There may be people out there that have extremely female brains, but they aren't pathologised.

So, it may be that your brain is quite male/systematising. But your profile says you're an artist, which doesn't quite fit? Anyway, it may be that men do not experience you as being very feminine. It's not just about clothes and appearance, but rather a kind of soft, compliant, nurturing energy that feminine women naturally give off and masculine men find very attractive. You may find that androgynous men are more attracted to you than macho types?

Post by **Winston** » January 26th, 2012, 7:21 am

Where did you grow up?

If you post a video of yourself and how you talk, it would help us gauge you better. Or at least some photos in various poses.