This forum and its members seem good at coming up with various sources of various topics.
And the forum has "freethinkers" as part of its title, so it's not all about women, and probably a fitting place to bring up this topic.
I find it near mind-boggling that one of the largest subjects, at least socially, plaguing humans, imho, is this element of judgement, and beyond actual judgement, perceived judgement.
If you're not one of the types that truly does not care what others are thinking, be it genuine (which is very rare), or simply paying no mind, truly distracted by other things, or outright giving them the proverbial middle-finger in your mind, then you might fit into another category, the type that can feel monitored by people.
Let's start as a foundation, a truth. Do people judge? Yes, of course. Do people judge negatively and without being accurate many times? Yes. Of the old days, if you had an earring as guy, people thought this and that, and the person wearing the earring was truly NOT this or that. Basic.
Do people negatively judge, incorrectly and THEN reject others? YES! Read that one again. This is happening more and more, and might I say, globally.
Add into this, the increase of fear in people and distrust of others, and you wonder at the increased division amongst people!
Now, can you imagine, in certain types of people, the ones that are not able to just blow it all off, how they might be worried near constantly about what others are thinking, even if what the others are thinking is not even right, or it's just overboard.
Why would the person care? Well, we're all mostly social beings. We desire to connect (i.e. to partake in various levels of love).
When we are judged negatively by others, it begins the process of rejection. Counterproductive to what we are desiring - to connect with others.
Here's the kicker though. Obviously the people around you are not constantly judging or monitoring you. They clearly have more important things in their lives than to pay mind to you so much. BUT, you know the possibility is still there, and could be at any moment.
Here's an example. Most of us live around others. Places where we have to be civil and fit into whatever the "box" is for that area. Say we rent a place. And we really don't want to be thrown out. You may be doing something that is clearly not wrong, maybe exercising in your own apartment naked or something, who knows, but the neighbor might think it odd if they see you, thinking you're different, not like them (ok, you're different, fine, but you're not some fruit-loop), and so this neighbor will distance themselves from you, a form of rejection.
Or you're taking apart your iPod or whatever the example, and you feel that maybe you're neighbor could be watching and they are the nosy type and known by others to meddle other peoples affairs to make themselves feel more significant, and so you worry (i.e. fear) if they are watching, and if they may report you for making some bad device, or who knows!
The point here is, not feeling a sense of freedom, instead, feeling monitored or potentially monitored most times. It's like a smothering pillow, a heavy weight to your free spirit to just be.
And so, even if you don't have a desire to get to know the neighbor, when you carry on your business, you might feel monitored.
Neighbors DO get nosy. This is not a paranoia thing. It's a fact people judge others. It's a fact people are nosy.
Like I said in other posts, it's much more intense and heavy in Western lands because it's as if you have a deeper aspect, deeper thinking and analyzing and this adds a sort of "heavy weight" to the air. A heavy energy. These thoughts have energy.
Yes in many non-Western lands, sure, you still have nosy neighbors and people making judgements, but, they don't give so much weight to them, don't sit and analyze it all.
Another example, you try to go do yoga or whatever, in a park in a certain Western land. You have the others sitting there. Fine, it's a public park. But, they stare and stare and stare. Not much to stare at, but they're just simply nosy and get some significance out of this. It wouldn't be so bad, it's not the actual staring - it's the thought energy that comes with it. You know the thoughts are going and going, we've all overheard others talking about others and not in nice ways. And so, it makes for an uncomfortable place, and back to what I said earlier, ideally, you don't want to be rejected by this community that you're trying to live in.
Verses, many parks in non-Western lands. You go, you still gets stares, but the similarities end there. Because you don't feel that heavy weight of the eyes and the thought energy by the others, and even if they think you're different, or odd for wearing polka-dots or whatever, they'll still talk to you and be friendly!
I hope some out there, somewhere understands what I'm talking about! I know the masses don't get bothered by all this, and hey, that's fine, I wish I could be that way. But I know I can't be the only one noticing and pondering this and thinking it's not quite the ideal thing.
Really, my whole point to all of this is really one word: FREEDOM!
Don't we just want to be free?
This term is thrown around SO MUCH! Yet I rarely see the aspect of this freedom I'm mentioning talked about.
I have come across TONS of lectures, books, seminars, etc. over the years. Even ones catered to freedom, but why is it I have not come across this exact thing mentioned above?
This aspect of finding freedom from social judgement, or at least the perceptions of being judged? Imho, it's a huge matter.
You could almost say, a form of terrorism for many out there. The person being bothered by this doesn't even have to have others actually doing the judging around them. Just the simple fact that we know people DO judge incorrectly and negatively, can put one on a near constant alert to it.
I know there's healthy judgement. It's what has carried people on to these days, a sort of survival mechanism, both literally and socially.
I would prefer to live in a nice Western land for the many good aspects, but this one thing, this HUGE element - seeking true freedom, has me honestly questioning at times to go live in a jungle tribe. Not kidding! Obviously for many other reasons I don't want that. But do you get the point?
Actually, I stayed in a jungle tribe for a brief time, and I can tell you, the freedom was amazing. I mean in all aspects. You could just truly be you. Within healthy reasons of course. As well, you were certainly much more connected to nature and eating well. And, you were removed from the heavy drains of the negative aspects of modern living (tech, machines, etc.).
The masses seem to be carrying on and I'm sure, it's just me that's stuck off in the gutter somewhere, but I can say, the masses don't know a TRUE freedom like I just mentioned I briefly experienced. Actually, it's how almost all of us lived not so long ago, when you consider the human time line. The grand percentage of human time, we lived these ways. I think there are many ills of modern societies globally that people are still unaware of and we are just now truly umasking. And the masses just simply do not know what they have been missing. Things appear to be fine. Almost like eating an empty calorie burger day in, day out. Many would argue, tastes good, filling, it's good food. But it's a deception.
NOW, after that long rambling, if you're still reading
DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANY RESOURCES discussing this specific matter? About finding freedom from these heavy aspects of society - the judging, and being under the gun of simply the perceptions of judgement. An obvious is simply moving, but I mean, the inner workings of what's really going on. The sociological, psychological aspects.
I truly believe many aspects of society in these modern days, such as the past 50-100 years, have truly gone quite messed up, certainly not just in the US. And it's really not just the stuff people keep talking about.
There are the deeper things. That one I already mentioned. But also too, what has been the damages of technology? The industrial ways of modern life. There may be the appearances (deceptions?) that humans have been progressing as a result, but have we been really? I'm starting to think, not really. I've been to hundreds of cities across the globe, and almost all of course have the vehicles. What I mostly see is congestion, high costs, burning up fuel, and something not mentioned a lot, isolation. Think if all those people were out walking, as so 100's of years before. The better social interaction. The better understanding people would have of their local environment. The slower pace. It would all be slower and better. Take in the air, the nature, think on a different level, etc. More true to one's humanity, and true to natural living. More true to the original design.
I don't know folks. How are all these other people getting by? Sometimes I wonder, maybe the masses are right. Maybe just go along with the systems. Well, for some reason, some time back, I got bumped off the masses tracks, and, I just can't put myself back on them, no matter the costs I might have to endure.
So whatdya say? Do you know of any good authors or speakers for example, talking about these sort of lesser-talked-about aspects.
If you're still reading, thanks.
) and with great points.