In the US, you need to develop your clique of friends early

Mr S · Post by **Mr S** » July 16th, 2008, 8:58 am

White-washed mentality: "I hate my skin; I want it white as pure snow and innocent" <---- colonial Western/N. European complex instilled in minorities to help weed out the competition so the oppressor can be superior to others (ie. convincing propaganda tactic).

Actually the real reason Asians and other dark skinned people want to look lighter is because to denotes economic and social status. For example if you are a brown skinned Asian, obviously working in the sun will make you very dark which means that you are a manual laborer. The lighter your skin means that you either don't work or you have a white collar job or something of high enough status where you don't have tp get your hands dirty, so-to-speak.

It's similar for whites with the whole getting a tan deal. Brown or tan skin for whites is the equivalent to light/white skin for Asians or other darker skinned peoples. It denotes you have time to lounge around in the sun or have money to spend on tanning salons and such. I mean look at Man-Tan-Romney recently. He is running around with a full-blown tan. I find it really odd for a politician to be doing that, but i guess it works for him.

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » August 5th, 2008, 12:07 pm

Erasmus wrote:I was just thinking of this today. Most of the people I know with long time friends have been friends since at least High School. Running with the same crowd.

It's funny, I know lots of guys who have not made any new friends since high school or college. They were cliquish is high school and college and now they are still cliquish!

Fantome Slashwrist · October 21st, 2008, 11:39 am

I believe it is also the reason why women are stuck on their ex.

Women go with what they know.

Grunt · Post by **Grunt** » October 21st, 2008, 7:58 pm

A guy was my best friend since I was in 6th grade. I joined the military and went off to war. He had lots of girls in high school, plenty of friends, and he was and remains a really great easy going guy.

He got nailed in divorce court by a wife that had sex with one of his "friends". Then he got falsely charged with rape, he didn't beat the rap and copped a plea for reduced charges...with 1500 hours of community service.

He devoted most of his adult life to a band of one form or another. So much so that he had to declare bankrupcy. Now he does gigs in Atlantic City on weekends, lives in a shitty apartment in a shitty part of Philadelphia with shitty hippy room mates and their shitty hairy stinky dogs and fat shitty skank girlfriends.

Were both about 40 years old now. I have my own fairly successful little computer business, and Ive been invited to sit on the board of directors for a veterans non-profit corporation. My wife is hot and young, and I have my full military pension, and I own my own house and the summer apartment.

Best part of it all? If any of you were to ask my buddy about me, he would just say "Pfft, hes a loser". As someone told me once, stupid people seldom feel that they are stupid.

MatureDJ · Post by **MatureDJ** » November 3rd, 2008, 5:48 pm

You think you all had it bad - try going to an all boy's school since 5th grade or so. I have a lot of friends from this school, and a lot of them were socially retarded for a long time - like one guy who was literally the 32 year old virgin (here virgin meaning never having a date other than a school dance setup.) He ended up marrying the first woman with which he had a second date (it has worked out well.)

Talk about not having any contacts! You go out on the town and you never a girl that you knew from high school, so you are never in a position to be introduced to any of their friends.

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » November 13th, 2008, 1:18 pm

MatureDJ wrote:You think you all had it bad - try going to an all boy's school since 5th grade or so. I have a lot of friends from this school, and a lot of them were socially retarded for a long time - like one guy who was literally the 32 year old virgin (here virgin meaning never having a date other than a school dance setup.) He ended up marrying the first woman with which he had a second date (it has worked out well.)

Talk about not having any contacts! You go out on the town and you never a girl that you knew from high school, so you are never in a position to be introduced to any of their friends.

Your right having contacts is very important! Being introduced to a girl by one of your friends is how most people in America meet! But to do that, you need to have friends who have female friends that they can introduce you to! Without the social contacts, your pretty much on your own when it comes to meeting women! Women in America get hit on left and right and they would prefer to meet guys through their friends.

wraith · Post by **wraith** » November 17th, 2008, 5:27 pm

Well, I knew a lot of people in the 'in crowd' at my high school, but I didn't associate with them.

For some reason, I have girls in college that try to hit on me, give me a small, random present, make some flirty comment, or just wake you up in class even though you barely know them and spoken to them once or twice. But that's a minority of the college population.

Post by **Winston** » July 9th, 2009, 3:57 am

Easier said than done. Most of the guy friends I had in the US didn't have females to introduce to me, and if they knew some, they would say they're taken or that I wasn't their type, so there was no use introducing me to her.

Again, lose lose situation all around.

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » November 21st, 2012, 5:03 am

Vinstonas wrote:Easier said than done. Most of the guy friends I had in the US didn't have females to introduce to me, and if they knew some, they would say they're taken or that I wasn't their type, so there was no use introducing me to her.

Again, lose lose situation all around.

That's a good point Winston. Trying to meet girls through your friends doesn't always work. It hasn't worked for me so far! LOL

All the females my friends know are either married or are single mothers.

lavezzi · Post by **lavezzi** » November 21st, 2012, 6:35 am

Winston wrote:Jackal,
Definitely, the social roles are a factor as well, as well as cliques. Both play major factors I think. The problem for me though, was that I didn't fit into any role or clique in high school, and so was painfully ostracized from everything, both good and bad, thus I had no experiences to "grow up" with. Thus my emotional level was lower than my chronological age. It was only my experiences abroad, where I started to live and have experiences, that closed that gap.

Otherwise, in the US I can't grow or evolve cause I'm not in the game, nothing happens to me, I'm just ignored and ostracized from everything. And that is excruciating to me, cause I need action, sometimes.

socialization = personal evolution = spiritual devolution. however if while isolated you do nothing but moap and crave social contact, that is just misery which gets you nowhere.

abcdavid01 · Post by **abcdavid01** » November 21st, 2012, 9:11 am

Yeah, I never had many friends in school because of this. I tried pretending to be a hipster in high school to some limited success, but it felt so fake. One of my closest friends was this foreign girl, so that made me think this site might have a point.

Andrewww · Post by **Andrewww** » November 21st, 2012, 10:47 pm

Well I did experience school in 2 different countries so I can talk a bit about the difference between Eastern Europe and Canada (or NA for that matter, it's the same shit).

First of all in EE you get thrown into a class and you stick with it throughout high school. That's 4 years in which you basically meet the same people every year. There might be a few newcomers along the way, some might leave but every classroom becomes special. You get to know everyone's name, in fact most of them have funny nicknames.
There are plenty of oppotunities to meet girls in your class and during some courses like physical education you get to meet people from other classes. You might have a brother or a friend (from your neighbourhood) that's in another classroom and will introduce you to a bunch of girls (since your friend will know all the girls in the classroom and he'll most likely know if they're single too).

So this creates a much more sociable environment. It's very hard to be an outcast. You really have to want that.

In NA you just move on from class to class. It's rare that you meet the same people for more than 1 or 2 semesters. You never get to make any real bonds with people because there's not enough time. So basically, people just socialize in small groups (5 ppl max). Some people who are more introverted don't hang out with anybody and that doesn't help. You really have to try to "fit in", otherwise you're screwed.

One thing I noticed in NA high school is that in september when school starts a lot of girls and guys who knew each other from last semester would meet in class and talk about their summer...because they never met during the summer. It's like: this dude is my best friend at school, we always hang out together, except during a 3 month break. Friends do not interrupt any contact for such long periods of time, only dysfunctional ones do that.

abcdavid01 · Post by **abcdavid01** » November 21st, 2012, 11:01 pm

Thanks Andrew. I'll keep that in mind when I'm raising kids. Gotta find the right country...