Why social isolation is due to lack of soul not just friends

[Winston]

Why lack of soul in America leaves the soulful feeling lonely, isolated and alienated

Hi all,
I've come to some new realizations after observing people in America. The other day, as I was buying a sandwich, I noticed how the cashier had empty eyes with no soul and a plastic smile. Then a realization suddenly hit me and a light bulb went on.

I suddenly realized that the social isolation and alienation I've always felt in America wasn't just due to a lack of friends or social contact (though those are factors too). It was more due to the lack of soul and authenticity in America. Let me explain.

You see, if you are soulful, deep and authentic, and you are surrounded by soulless people who are shallow, repressed, fake, plastic and inauthentic, then you will definitely feel isolated and alienated. This will be the case even if you are socializing with people or at a party, because you will not feel any real connection with anybody. It will also seem as though people are not "alive" to you.

In contrast, in Europe, Russia or Latin America, where people have a lot more soul, and are more deep and authentic, you will NOT feel isolated and alienated, even if you are sitting alone at a cafe or park and not talking to anyone. This is because you are surrounded by people with real souls, like yourself, who are more deep and authentic than in America and seem more "alive" as well.

I know this because I've personally experienced both scenarios and now I can pinpoint the real cause. But of course, if you are a shallow person with no soul yourself, you may not notice any of these things, since they will not be a part of your reality. After all, people with no souls do not suffer around other people with no souls. This brings to mind a great quote from the freethinking Swiss psychologist Eric Fromm:

"The sick individual finds himself at home with all other similarly sick individuals. The whole culture is geared to this kind of pathology. The result is that the average individual does not experience the separateness and isolation the fully schizophrenic person feels. He feels at ease among those who suffer from the same deformation; in fact, it is the fully sane person who feels isolated in the insane society - and he may suffer so much from the incapacity to communicate that it is he who may become psychotic." - Eric Fromm, Swiss Psychologist (The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness)

That is one of the most brilliant observations and analyses I've ever read. It's so true and explains my new realization and insight as well.

For reasons why Americans seem to have no soul, see my article here:
http://blog.happierabroad.com/2013/08/8 ... essed.html

Good News on why freethinkers will be happier in Europe than in America:
http://blog.happierabroad.com/2013/08/w ... urope.html

[Jester]

Why lack of soul in America leaves the soulful feeling lonely, isolated and alienated

Hi all,
I've come to some new realizations after observing people in America. The other day, as I was buying a sandwich, I noticed how the cashier had empty eyes with no soul and a plastic smile............


In contrast, in Europe, Russia or Latin America, where people have a lot more soul, and are more deep and authentic, you will NOT feel isolated and alienated, even if you are sitting alone at a cafe or park and not talking to anyone. This is because you are surrounded by people with real souls, like yourself, who are more deep and authentic than in America and seem more "alive" as well........


Good News: Why freethinkers will be happier in Europe

The good news in all this is that freethinkers will be a lot happier in Europe than in America. They will feel more accepted and have a far easier time meeting new people, making friends, having fun and getting dates. The reasons are:

1. People in Europe are more open to new ideas, more curious and more attracted to novelty. They have a wider variety of interests and are more broad-minded. Thus they will be on a more compatible wavelength with a freethinker. This is true of European females too, who are more open and down-to-earth than in America. Overall, a freethinker will connect better in Europe and feel more accepted.

2. The social atmosphere is more inclusive, friendly and sociable. People do not live in fear and are not as paranoid of strangers. They are more comfortable and relaxed about meeting new people. They will engage you more easily and make eye contact. Social interaction is much more smooth and natural. Again, this is true with young women too.

3. In Europe, people have richer souls, and are more deep, authentic and down-to-earth. Thus, if you are the same way, you will feel "surrounded by real souls" who seem more alive. Thus you not feel alienated or isolated, even if you are sitting alone and drinking coffee at a cafe by yourself. That's the beauty of it. You are surrounded by your own kind, so the depressing empty feeling you get in America isn't there anymore.

4. Fun activities and cultural events are more frequent and inclusive in Europe. You will have more fun than you ever had in America. There are always cultural events going on around town, even in a small town, and you can always join in, celebrate and party without feeling awkward. There is a feeling of inclusiveness in such social activities that you could never dream of in America. Trust me, I've experienced it and can personally attest to this. You will truly be amazed.

Note: The above attributes of Europe apply to Russia too. However, I do not mention Russia because although it is a very fun, exciting and dynamic country, it is also more dangerous, has a higher crime rate with muggings and scams, and is more of a hassle to get into because you have to buy a visa to enter the country. But Russia is a very exciting and soulful culture, so if you don't mind braving the risks, I would say go for it.

A lot of folks go around here on autopilot, that's for sure. Sex is easier to get than deep friendship.

Re your solution - the 4 differences in the "European" soul:

I wonder how much these 4 points will apply in Uruguay? I know the place is "European" by blood, but I'm not sure how much creativity and humor the Latin soul bears. Probably great on points 2, 3, and 4. Have to assume Mexico, by comparison, will be a little LESS "European" (obviously) plus a little more Americanized (unfortunately).

Oh well - I'll see, I guess.

[Winston]

I disagree. I've had some deep friendships in America, but sex is nearly impossible for me.

What did you think of my new insight regarding isolation being due to lack of soul, not friends? Read what I wrote at the top again. It's something that hit me like a light bulb. I was hoping to get your comment on that, not the rest. You didn't address the main insight.

[Ghost]

.

[Tsar]

I believe that there are some people that have a soul in America. I am one of those people. I think that it's more like a positive-charged person and a negative-charged person. Negative-charged people (or soulless people) don't like to associate with positive-charged people (with a soul). Positive-charged people have a soul and therefore can't fit in to America. They are isolated because they have a soul which makes them unique.

Why is it that being in a random secular place with natural born Americans is usually draining and feels like all interaction is artificial? It's because if you're a positive-charged person then you aren't meant to be around negative-charged people.

[Jester]

I disagree. I've had some deep friendships in America, but sex is nearly impossible for me.

What did you think of my new insight regarding isolation being due to lack of soul, not friends? Read what I wrote at the top again. It's something that hit me like a light bulb. I was hoping to get your comment on that, not the rest. You didn't address the main insight.

Wrote a long response, seems to have disappeared.

[Winston]

I disagree. I've had some deep friendships in America, but sex is nearly impossible for me.

What did you think of my new insight regarding isolation being due to lack of soul, not friends? Read what I wrote at the top again. It's something that hit me like a light bulb. I was hoping to get your comment on that, not the rest. You didn't address the main insight.

Wrote a long response, seems to have disappeared.

If you submit a post and get an error message, push the back button your browser. Your should still be there. Then just resubmit it. I've done that many times.

Also, before you submit a long post, copy and paste it into memory first just in case, by pushing Control-A and Control-C.

[Winston]

I believe that there are some people that have a soul in America. I am one of those people. I think that it's more like a positive-charged person and a negative-charged person. Negative-charged people (or soulless people) don't like to associate with positive-charged people (with a soul). Positive-charged people have a soul and therefore can't fit in to America. They are isolated because they have a soul which makes them unique.

Why is it that being in a random secular place with natural born Americans is usually draining and feels like all interaction is artificial? It's because if you're a positive-charged person then you aren't meant to be around negative-charged people.

Yes very true. I want to emphasize an important point here:

Only those who are very soulful, sensitive, deep and driven by passion will feel the suffering, isolation and lack of soul in America that I'm talking about. Those with none of these traits will not suffer as much of course. They will not see and feel what I describe.

Again, this profound quote by Eric Fromm exemplifies what I mean:

"The sick individual finds himself at home with all other similarly sick individuals. The whole culture is geared to this kind of pathology. The result is that the average individual does not experience the separateness and isolation the fully schizophrenic person feels. He feels at ease among those who suffer from the same deformation; in fact, it is the fully sane person who feels isolated in the insane society - and he may suffer so much from the incapacity to communicate that it is he who may become psychotic." - Eric Fromm, Swiss Psychologist (The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness)

[Winston]

I've just posted this article in my blog:
http://blog.happierabroad.com/2013/10/w ... ck-of.html

[tre]

Have you worked as a Cashier behind a busy counter for years of your life? If you haven't, then you don't understand how miserable it can be. Glazed eyes means they are "turning off" so that they don't have to deal with their miserable existence in that job spot. Also, someone that works in that spot everyday (or worse yet, an inbound call center) have no TIME to think about anything. They are always forcefully engaged by customers that are rude, annoying, disrespectful, etc.. When they finally leave that spot, they WANT isolation...from EVERYONE. Their chosen spot would be to be doing what you do everyday....searching the internet to clear their mind and relax from the nightmare they have for a work day. I've seen the same thing in Singapore, where they have even worse customer service. They don't even have to smile there....so the don't...lol.

Sitting in isolation from any kind of human contact for work is going to make one feel isolated and lonely. However, the majority of people working in the USA do not have those jobs, although they'd likely prefer them over what they currently do. Customer service is the worst job on earth and it makes you HATE people in general. Unfortunately, with the economy the way it is, people are forced to take whatever they can find. If they don't have the skills to make $$ online, they pick a job that is readily available....customer service.

[jamesbond]

Customer service is the worst job on earth and it makes you HATE people in general. Unfortunately, with the economy the way it is, people are forced to take whatever they can find. If they don't have the skills to make $$ online, they pick a job that is readily available....customer service.

I have had customer service and call center jobs and they were by far the worst jobs I have ever had in my life! Your on the phone 8 hours a day, 5 days a week dealing with angry customers, rude customers and occasionally customers that swear at you over the phone!

On top of all of this, your supposed to nice and polite to all your customers (which is difficult to do) and at a lot of call center jobs, your boss can listen in on your phone calls and hear what you are saying. It's like big brother is watching you (or in this case, big brother is listening to what you are saying).

When I first graduated from college, I worked at a telemarketing job, it was easily the worst job I ever had in my entire existence on planet earth! I would rather clean toilets for a living than do telemarketing!

[tre]

^^^Exactly.
I've spent most of my life doing some kind of customer service job. Bartender (high volume), Inbound Collections (Call Center), Hotel Front Desk, Cashier and on and on. I've also done Construction, Maintenance, Satellite Dish Installer/Tech, Porter, Restaurant Cook, and more. Jobs where you can away from customers demands are better overall...even Construction which I didn't like much either (it's physically tough and screws your body up). I have a feeling that many here don't understand people well in general because they haven't worked with them in various environments...at least not for very long. I would have exactly zero people skills if I hadn't spent time working in those environments and I wouldn't understand them or what they put up with if I hadn't been there myself before.

However, I think Winston is very correct to say that many people in America are shallow. Just look at the magazines and television here. If you find that watching Kardashians is interesting and worth while, you need to REALLY re-think things in your life. Also, the obsession with American sports is ridiculous. I find it disturbing that the obsession is so great that I believe people would find life not worth living without "their" team. They proclaim "WE WON"! They don't even PLAY sports and never did play that sport....why do they speak as if they were on the field? It's insanity. I can understand having a hobby, but these obsessions are not good IMO

[Winston]

[Outsider]

Why lack of soul in America leaves the soulful feeling lonely, isolated and alienated

Hi all,
I've come to some new realizations after observing people in America. The other day, as I was buying a sandwich, I noticed how the cashier had empty eyes with no soul and a plastic smile. Then a realization suddenly hit me and a light bulb went on.

I suddenly realized that the social isolation and alienation I've always felt in America wasn't just due to a lack of friends or social contact (though those are factors too). It was more due to the lack of soul and authenticity in America. Let me explain.

You see, if you are soulful, deep and authentic, and you are surrounded by soulless people who are shallow, repressed, fake, plastic and inauthentic, then you will definitely feel isolated and alienated. This will be the case even if you are socializing with people or at a party, because you will not feel any real connection with anybody. It will also seem as though people are not "alive" to you.

In contrast, in Europe, Russia or Latin America, where people have a lot more soul, and are more deep and authentic, you will NOT feel isolated and alienated, even if you are sitting alone at a cafe or park and not talking to anyone. This is because you are surrounded by people with real souls, like yourself, who are more deep and authentic than in America and seem more "alive" as well.

I know this because I've personally experienced both scenarios and now I can pinpoint the real cause. But of course, if you are a shallow person with no soul yourself, you may not notice any of these things, since they will not be a part of your reality. After all, people with no souls do not suffer around other people with no souls. This brings to mind a great quote from the freethinking Swiss psychologist Eric Fromm:

"The sick individual finds himself at home with all other similarly sick individuals. The whole culture is geared to this kind of pathology. The result is that the average individual does not experience the separateness and isolation the fully schizophrenic person feels. He feels at ease among those who suffer from the same deformation; in fact, it is the fully sane person who feels isolated in the insane society - and he may suffer so much from the incapacity to communicate that it is he who may become psychotic." - Eric Fromm, Swiss Psychologist (The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness)

That is one of the most brilliant observations and analyses I've ever read. It's so true and explains my new realization and insight as well.

For reasons why Americans seem to have no soul, see my article here:
http://blog.happierabroad.com/2013/08/8 ... essed.html

Good News on why freethinkers will be happier in Europe than in America:
http://blog.happierabroad.com/2013/08/w ... urope.html

^^^Exactly.
I've spent most of my life doing some kind of customer service job. Bartender (high volume), Inbound Collections (Call Center), Hotel Front Desk, Cashier and on and on. I've also done Construction, Maintenance, Satellite Dish Installer/Tech, Porter, Restaurant Cook, and more. Jobs where you can away from customers demands are better overall...even Construction which I didn't like much either (it's physically tough and screws your body up). I have a feeling that many here don't understand people well in general because they haven't worked with them in various environments...at least not for very long. I would have exactly zero people skills if I hadn't spent time working in those environments and I wouldn't understand them or what they put up with if I hadn't been there myself before.

However, I think Winston is very correct to say that many people in America are shallow. Just look at the magazines and television here. If you find that watching Kardashians is interesting and worth while, you need to REALLY re-think things in your life.

You can't go by that.

Do you know anyone that gives a damn about the kardashian skanks? I don't. People think they are a sad pathetic joke and are nothing but attention whores that are famous because their dead daddy was a famous lawyer, and because one of them did a sex tape.

It's the same with the other "celebrities" out there. They are media creations, and nothing more than that. They are famous for being (in)famous, not because they are interesting people that actually contribute anything useful.

And don't go by peoples jobs either. Some jobs will grind a person into the dirt, so it's no wonder that people don't smile much. Very few people here actually enjoy their jobs.

I've dealt with customers for years. Decades. I don't recall one time where I was cussed out. I've had mad and frustrated customers before, but it's NOT PERSONAL! Just fix the damn problem and they will be happy.

Now, about the soulless people out there. Do people smile all the time in places like Moscow, Kiev, etc? Are they soulless because they don't treat you like a king as you walk down the street? Are they ingrates because they don't appreciate you gracing them with your glorious, magnificent presence as you buy something from a kiosk?

You seem to like Russian women, judging from your ads. You say they are hot, and that they are. But what are they like as people?

How about other places. Does everyone go around smiling like idiots?

Some cultures probably are friendlier than the US. I don't know because I've never left the states. But it seems that the friendlier the culture according to the testimony of others that travel, the more backwards it is, and the more screwed up things are in other ways.

Just because others don't go out of their way for you doesn't mean it's some kind of personal attack.
If someone knows of a perfect culture, you better keep that secret to yourself. Otherwise you will destroy it.