I no longer wish to travel abroad

[Tsar]

You need to look at it like a WIN OR A LOSE situation.

DO YOU WANT TO BE A DEFEATED SIMP???

OR???

DO YOU WANT TO BE A VICTORIOUS KING???

(I am soon to become a KING and show the forum my MAJESTY)

I would invite you to join my BAND OF KINGS but ONLY IF YOU WORK ON GOING ABROAD!!!

IF I CAN GO ABROAD THEN I AM SURE YOU CAN TOO!!!

[Cornfed]

I might not agree with everything you have said OP, but you did make some points nonetheless. God forbid, a member here might have some different opinions/viewpoints

Nah it's bullshit, man. The defeatism and weakness of OP is palpable, and hard to stomach for those brave enough to have made the jump abroad. Here we have a guy who is unhappy with his life, says he wants to change things, go abroad, stop being miserable. He's been a part of the site for what, four years, five? He asks questions, some of them relevant, about what going abroad is like. Then all of a sudden he decides it's "not for him". Based on... the posts of other people. Not his own experience, no. Just other people's negativity, which he allows to drag him down. He could also look for positive stories, of which there are plenty. But confirmation bias causes him to stick to the negatives. Why? Because he's a coward. On some subconscious level he does not wish to make the plunge. Somewhere, deep down inside, he's scared. That's sad. We could put on kiddie gloves and be all nice and sweet about it, but does that help the man? Sometimes someone needs 'tough love'. The fact that I, Yohan, Contrarian and others are even willing to provide him with any tough love, is a sign that we care. At least on some level.

We could endulge him on his defeatism, too. Tell him the world has gone to shit, there is no hope left. Might as well jump off a cliff, right? But nah. That's now how I roll. You can give up on the fight before it begins, before you even put the gloves on and gave it a try. But why not at least go a few rounds, see where it leads you? The man has savings. He's got a budget. He's not stupid, he's not hideous. He has what it takes... all but the mentality. His mentality is rotten. And if no one will point this out, he's just going to be yet another wasted young life. Another young man who had the potential, but threw it away to lay down and rot away.

It's so easy, to give up. To say "this is not for me". This won't work. This is hopeless. But what's the alternative? The man admits he isn't happy back home. His life is not going in the direction he wishes it to go. He's got nothing to lose at this point. And yet he chooses to do nothing. On a site specifically called "HappierAbroad". How silly. And how sad.

But sure, I could be all happy happy, joy joy. Polyanna. How sad and pitiful this poor man is... oh, woe is me. Woe is him. I can join the pity party. We all can. But that would just be a shame. A waste of a life that has all the potential in the world to be great. Sorry for caring, man. Sorry for not wanting to see a man waste his life. But hey, it's his life. Whatever.

How do you know he hasn't correctly assessed the situation and made the right decision not to travel at the moment given the state of the world and his particular circumstances?

[yick]

I'm sorry, this post isn't very well written

I'm not going to soft soap this. I hate America and most Americans. To me, Americans are complete scum of the earth. They're selfish, rude, obnoxious, phony, shallow, egotistical, morally bankrupt, callous, sociopathic, materialistic and vapid, unfeeling and just plain rotten. They don't value family and friends and lack humanity. When I look at most of them, when I look at their eyes, I can see there is nothing behind them. They are empty, hallow shells of human beings. It makes my skin crawl.

Spending my whole life living amongst such people, seeing them on the media has completely taken it's toll on me. I've lived a life of crippling loneliness and misery. Such an environment has left me jaded, angry, extremely bitter. It has left me a broken and suicidal person.

Initially when I came across this site and it's forums, I saw it as a blessing. It felt great to know that there where other people who've had the same experiences and felt the same way that I did. It made me realize that I wasn't crazy. That I wasn't the problem, America was. It was great to know that the US of Gay and the Anglosphere didn't represent the rest of the world. That most other countries had people who were friendly, humble, honest, genuine, moral, and kind hearted. It came as a great relief to know the possibility of a happier and healthier life abroad. That I could go to places were I wouldn't be hated for my gender and actually connect with people. I actually began saving money to travel and finally get away from this toxic hell hole. I've managed to save several thousands of dollars.

But over time, my feelings began to change. Reading numerous threads on this forum over the past few years gradually sapped my anticipation of going overseas. Countless times expats have posted thier negative opinions on other countries and I've eventually came away from them with this realization: The people abroad are just as horrible as America. That there are no good people in the world. Regardless of what country you go to, it's all the same: HORRIBLE.

So I've ultimately decided that traveling abroad would just be a huge waste of my time and money. What's the point? Same shit, different country. I've come to the conclusion that good people and good societies just don't exist and no matter where I go, I'll never find peace or happiness. I've pretty much lost all hope.

You complete and utter loser. You signed up on this site in 2015, I signed up in 2014. I've sinced moved abroad and had a family. Far away from the toxicity of foreigners and foreign culture. So have many other members. Five years! Five! Whole! Years! And all you did was whine and take ZERO action. Now you're feeling like 'no longer traveling abroad', why, based on all that experience you gained SITTING ON YOUR ASS? Jesus Christ this is pathetic... Go ahead, give up. Give up without ever trying. You're not made of the right material, obviously. Remove yourself from the genepool and the expat community. Maybe earth. We've got too many spineless cretins aimlessly floating around doing absolutely nothing, anyway.

The post isn't well-written, you are right. It's not well-thought-of, either. Much like your life, which is not well-lived. You can change that, today. Next week. Or never. But to be on a site like this, and allowing some negative posts to convince you not to even try? That's insane. If you're THAT easily convinced to do nothing, that means a part of you WANTS to be convinced to do nothing. Because to continue as you always have is the easier choice. Painful to hear? Yes. But remember... if someone says something, and it pleases you to hear, comforts you... find the lie in it. If whatever you hear hurts you? Find the truth in it.

Either follow Yohan's advice or... check out & good riddance.

Good post!

Wow, so you're calling me a loser and telling me to me to kill myself?! While I agree with some of your post, that's extremely out of line. And no, I'm not being "Overly sensitive to constructive criticism." You do not talk to people that way. Plain and simple.

I might not agree with everything you have said OP, but you did make some points nonetheless. God forbid, a member here might have some different opinions/viewpoints

The OP's opinion/viewpoint was that the negativity of the forum was stopping him from going abroad and it was the patrons on this forums fault - which is balderdash - he doesn't like where he is now but he doesn't want to do anything to change it and it isn't his responsibility - we have to take responsibility for his life choices.

It's bullshit and he was called out on it. Simple as that.

[yick]

I might not agree with everything you have said OP, but you did make some points nonetheless. God forbid, a member here might have some different opinions/viewpoints

Nah it's bullshit, man. The defeatism and weakness of OP is palpable, and hard to stomach for those brave enough to have made the jump abroad. Here we have a guy who is unhappy with his life, says he wants to change things, go abroad, stop being miserable. He's been a part of the site for what, four years, five? He asks questions, some of them relevant, about what going abroad is like. Then all of a sudden he decides it's "not for him". Based on... the posts of other people. Not his own experience, no. Just other people's negativity, which he allows to drag him down. He could also look for positive stories, of which there are plenty. But confirmation bias causes him to stick to the negatives. Why? Because he's a coward. On some subconscious level he does not wish to make the plunge. Somewhere, deep down inside, he's scared. That's sad. We could put on kiddie gloves and be all nice and sweet about it, but does that help the man? Sometimes someone needs 'tough love'. The fact that I, Yohan, Contrarian and others are even willing to provide him with any tough love, is a sign that we care. At least on some level.

We could endulge him on his defeatism, too. Tell him the world has gone to shit, there is no hope left. Might as well jump off a cliff, right? But nah. That's now how I roll. You can give up on the fight before it begins, before you even put the gloves on and gave it a try. But why not at least go a few rounds, see where it leads you? The man has savings. He's got a budget. He's not stupid, he's not hideous. He has what it takes... all but the mentality. His mentality is rotten. And if no one will point this out, he's just going to be yet another wasted young life. Another young man who had the potential, but threw it away to lay down and rot away.

It's so easy, to give up. To say "this is not for me". This won't work. This is hopeless. But what's the alternative? The man admits he isn't happy back home. His life is not going in the direction he wishes it to go. He's got nothing to lose at this point. And yet he chooses to do nothing. On a site specifically called "HappierAbroad". How silly. And how sad.

But sure, I could be all happy happy, joy joy. Polyanna. How sad and pitiful this poor man is... oh, woe is me. Woe is him. I can join the pity party. We all can. But that would just be a shame. A waste of a life that has all the potential in the world to be great. Sorry for caring, man. Sorry for not wanting to see a man waste his life. But hey, it's his life. Whatever.

How do you know he hasn't correctly assessed the situation and made the right decision not to travel at the moment given the state of the world and his particular circumstances?

Because he made a similar post, three years ago.

[Cornfed]

Because he made a similar post, three years ago.

So maybe it is still the case.

[yick]

How do you know he hasn't correctly assessed the situation and made the right decision not to travel at the moment given the state of the world and his particular circumstances?

I've assessed it based on the previous information he has provided about himself over the years. This is a man who is deeply insecure. He's shared a video of himself before, telling people how 'hideously ugly' he feels he is... hint: he's not, he's a normal looking dude, normal sounding, just a regular Joe. The guy is clearly out of whack with reality, which hints at an insecure personality. Confidence, zero. He talks of negative experiences with American women, but knows how to chat them up and is seen as friendly enough. Not rich but has a few thousand dollars in savings as a travel fund. Has had this for years, since signing up, and never used it. Runs, keeps in shape.

There is no way this man could not fly abroad and get a girl, which he seems to desperately want. He's held back by fear rather than correct or incorrect assessments. With a mindset like this, mankind would never have reached the Americas, much less space. You have also 'assessed' the situation it seems, and decided not to travel... but then again, you DID travel in the past. This guy just says he wants to, then sits on his ass for years thinking of reasons not to, all the while having the means to do it. A p***y move.

Exactly.

Lot of people are like that on here, I remember one wanker - CdnFA - which meant 'Canadian - Forever Alone' who had a meltdown because I recalled a tale about three young ladies working in a supermarket checking out my arse when I was leaving their store

'It's not true, why are you lying waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah'

They hate these kind of tales because they're missing out living wherever they live. It was a true story - why should I lie? Their cowardice and lack of action means they're missing out on these kind of experiences, well, those three girls looking at my arse would not have happened if I hadn't have flown out of my hometown in the UK, he would rather convince himself that I was lying and that never happens in Asia than for him to do something about his pathetic existence, leave Canada, come to Asia, have something like that happen to him because he just doesn't have the guts! He would rather project like a woman than do something about it.

It is the same about the OP, he doesn't want to take the risk but wants to blame us for not painting an amazing rosy picture, people are the same all over the world - no shit Sherlock - didn't Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson sing that in the lyrics of Ebony and Ivory.

If he was disabled or he had half his face burned off in a fire or he was autistic or had tourettes or whatever - then he would have my sympathy and I would be more sympathetic - but he isn't - he is just a gutless manlet - without a backbone! f**k him!

[yick]

Because he made a similar post, three years ago.

So maybe it is still the case.

How can we help him? He is an intelligent functioning adult, how is it our fault he isn't abroad?

[gsjackson]

Lot of good advice on this thread, much of it coming from the 'tough love' perspective, and I can see how that might not be fully appreciated by the recipient. If you want to prove to yourself quickly that women in other countries can be quite different, I would suggest going to Brazil. Don't be bashful, because they certainly won't be. I suspect the Philippines is similar -- read some of Ladislav's early posts about first decamping there -- but you'll probably find more beauties -- and booties, if T&A is your thing -- in Brazil.

[Ukrainianlover]

Everyone tends to think of Canadians as nice and sweet and Saying sorry is what we are all about. Here’s a secret. We are all closet a$$holes up here. One thing I came back with and enjoyed it more then ever was adopting the Ukrainian mindset. When it comes to holding the doors in Ukraine. It’s none existent. Be prepared to have it slammed in your face. I absolutely loved that. It wasn’t shocking to me as I thought.,that’s just the way people are here. Also small talk doesn’t exist over there either. In Canada when we go up to the cashier or grocery store clerk. We ask how is their day going. In Ukraine if you ask that. You get..what’s your business. I love it. It’s real. Up here in Canada it’s fake and I’ve stopped being that way. The other day I was getting gas and the guy across from was filling up his vehicle as well. Ok..here comes the small chat. He said...beautiful day eh..and then asked me how’s she going. I looked at him and rolled my eyes and Ignored him and continued to fill up my car. It was great. Then when I went into the store to pay. A woman was going into the store behind me...Did I hold the door...hahaha..no way. I’m married already to a little rocket. I’m not looking for plus points these days. She gave me a dirty look once inside. I whispered social distancing and nodded my head and went on my merry way. I tried along time ago of being a easy going great guy but it just seemed like a waste. People are just to selfish these days to appreciate anything. So why not use my greatest assets of being an incredible jerk and bless the world of the way these morons act and treat them accordingly.

[Light]

Everyone tends to think of Canadians as nice and sweet and Saying sorry is what we are all about. Here’s a secret. We are all closet a$$holes up here. One thing I came back with and enjoyed it more then ever was adopting the Ukrainian mindset. When it comes to holding the doors in Ukraine. It’s none existent. Be prepared to have it slammed in your face. I absolutely loved that. It wasn’t shocking to me as I thought.,that’s just the way people are here. Also small talk doesn’t exist over there either. In Canada when we go up to the cashier or grocery store clerk. We ask how is their day going. In Ukraine if you ask that. You get..what’s your business. I love it. It’s real. Up here in Canada it’s fake and I’ve stopped being that way. The other day I was getting gas and the guy across from was filling up his vehicle as well. Ok..here comes the small chat. He said...beautiful day eh..and then asked me how’s she going. I looked at him and rolled my eyes and Ignored him and continued to fill up my car. It was great. Then when I went into the store to pay. A woman was going into the store behind me...Did I hold the door...hahaha..no way. I’m married already to a little rocket. I’m not looking for plus points these days. She gave me a dirty look once inside. I whispered social distancing and nodded my head and went on my merry way. I tried along time ago of being a easy going great guy but it just seemed like a waste. People are just to selfish these days to appreciate anything. So why not use my greatest assets of being an incredible jerk and bless the world of the way these morons act and treat them accordingly.

Ukraine is on my list of destinations to go for girls. Would you be okay with me asking some questions about Ukraine?

I can PM you my questions if other users don't want this thread to begin to go off topic or maybe it would be good for me to ask my questions here so the OP can maybe learn some new things about Ukraine.

[Tamingstrange]

Wow, so you're calling me a loser and telling me to me to kill myself?! While I agree with some of your post, that's extremely out of line. And no, I'm not being "Overly sensitive to constructive criticism." You do not talk to people that way. Plain and simple.

Alright mate, I understand I took things a little too far there, and if it offended you I'm sorry. That was unfortunate. It's just a bit frustrating to see you get so demotivated merely from reading the experiences of others, to the point where you no longer feel like even trying. You've been here for a while. Saved up quite a bit of money. I saw you posting a video once of yourself acting; you're a decent looking fellow, not some Orc from the Lord of the Rings looking monstrosity. You're obviously bright. You write well enough, you have potential. For many women in less blessed nations, down on their luck, you're a gift sent from Heaven. You're a catch. You may not feel like a catch now, but you are. You read too much bullshit online about chads and incels and gibberish like that. It gets to you. Rots your psyche. Try not to read that shit. Elvis had it right. A little less conversation, brother, a little more action please.

You have never gone abroad. You do have budget to do so. Have you tried talking to some ladies abroad? Looked into vacations you might book? It's been long enough. The clock ticks. The world is going to shit. And the least you could do is try and squeeze a little enjoyment out of it. You got this. You know you got this. I'm not sure what is holding you back. You could fail. It could backfire. But at least you'd be an experience richer. There's a risk involved in every choice we make. But inaction is a p***y choice. And p***y choices never get you anywhere.

Thanks. I totally understood the gist of your post. You're telling me that I'm not doing myself any favors by just sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. If I have a problem, I need to do something about it and fix it. I completely agree with that.

[suprmon]

I'm sorry, this post isn't very well written

I'm not going to soft soap this. I hate America and most Americans. To me, Americans are complete scum of the earth. They're selfish, rude, obnoxious, phony, shallow, egotistical, morally bankrupt, callous, sociopathic, materialistic and vapid, unfeeling and just plain rotten. They don't value family and friends and lack humanity. When I look at most of them, when I look at their eyes, I can see there is nothing behind them. They are empty, hallow shells of human beings. It makes my skin crawl.

Spending my whole life living amongst such people, seeing them on the media has completely taken it's toll on me. I've lived a life of crippling loneliness and misery. Such an environment has left me jaded, angry, extremely bitter. It has left me a broken and suicidal person.

Initially when I came across this site and it's forums, I saw it as a blessing. It felt great to know that there where other people who've had the same experiences and felt the same way that I did. It made me realize that I wasn't crazy. That I wasn't the problem, America was. It was great to know that the US of Gay and the Anglosphere didn't represent the rest of the world. That most other countries had people who were friendly, humble, honest, genuine, moral, and kind hearted. It came as a great relief to know the possibility of a happier and healthier life abroad. That I could go to places were I wouldn't be hated for my gender and actually connect with people. I actually began saving money to travel and finally get away from this toxic hell hole. I've managed to save several thousands of dollars.

But over time, my feelings began to change. Reading numerous threads on this forum over the past few years gradually sapped my anticipation of going overseas. Countless times expats have posted thier negative opinions on other countries and I've eventually came away from them with this realization: The people abroad are just as horrible as America. That there are no good people in the world. Regardless of what country you go to, it's all the same: HORRIBLE.

So I've ultimately decided that traveling abroad would just be a huge waste of my time and money. What's the point? Same shit, different country. I've come to the conclusion that good people and good societies just don't exist and no matter where I go, I'll never find peace or happiness. I've pretty much lost all hope.

I don't blame you! Anyone that believes there's such a thing as a country with friendly open people also must believe in sugar plum fairies! The old proverb "the grass is greener on the other side" would be appropriate here! People all over the world have their own everyday challenges just like here in America and for most countries even worse, so they don't have the capacity to be welcoming to foreigners in their own land. In some countries the natives can be downright hostile to foreigners! And this idea that women in other countries are so much more genuine than American women is just an illusion! All females no matter what country (or planet for the matter), are hard wired for the same thing: resources, youth and good looks and that will never change. Women love oppotunistically;  men love idealistically! Travel is not a "one size fits all". Even though it may work out great for some, for others traveling could be a disaster! So in my opinion, I think travelling is overrated!

[WorldTraveler]

viewtopic.php?style=1&f=3&t=35905

You started a similar thread about 2 years ago, now it is time for you to do something about it. Don't waste your time. I never regretted my trips to Asia... regardless if Iran, India, Philippines, Japan....

I don't think I've ever regretted any trip I ever took anywhere. Even if all I did was discover that I don't want to go there again. What I do regret is sitting home on my ass doing nothing.

@Tamingstrange Get off your ass and go somewhere. Have you ever talked to a psychologist about your problems?

[suprmon]

I don't blame you! Anyone that believes there's such a thing as a country with friendly open people also must believe in sugar plum fairies! The old proverb "the grass is greener on the other side" would be appropriate here! People all over the world have their own everyday challenges just like here in America and for most countries even worse, so they don't have the capacity to be welcoming to foreigners in their own land. In some countries the natives can be downright hostile to foreigners! And this idea that women in other countries are so much more genuine than American women is just an illusion!

If a man is unhappy in his home country, he feels his life is going nowhere and the culture in which he lives does not agree with him, what are his alternatives? Travel might not instantly make him happier, and a lot of it depends on the type of man and the attitude with which he enters the world around him. But if a man isn't happy as it is, what does he have to lose? At best he does find what he was looking for, fill that void, and he will be a richer man for it. At worst, he doesn't find what he hoping to find, but he's an experience richer.

They say never change a winning team. But a losing team? By all means, switch it up. Any good coach knows this. Try to keep what works, and rid yourself of what doesn't.

All females no matter what country (or planet for the matter), are hard wired for the same thing: resources, youth and good looks and that will never change. Women love oppotunistically;  men love idealistically!

Perhaps, but say you're a not particularly bright, wealthy or good looking man from a Western country. You may find an average or below average woman back home. She'll demand more of you, she will want a better income, a better house, a better school for the kids... she'll want to impress her friends, her relatives... and what you have, it does not impress her much. You have to keep upgrading.

Now picture a country where you already are the 'above average' guy. You're taller than the locals. You're richer than the locals. Hell, you're even smarter, in some ways, although you're still not accustomed to every aspect of their culture, you can learn, you can adapt. You're now a man at an advantage. Sure, women may have a hypergamous nature, but by virtue of this, you make youself more attractive simply by moving to another pond where the fish bite more ferociously and your catch is more impressive almost by default.

Travel is not a "one size fits all". Even though it may work out great for some, for others traveling could be a disaster! So in my opinion, I think travelling is overrated!

ANYTHING you do could be a disaster. But men who are so risk-averse they live their whole life centered around avoiding potential risks, are miserable men who grow old sad and lonely, regretting their life choices, or lack thereof. They find themselves on their deathbed one day, regretting not the things they did, but the many, many things they failed to do out of fear for 'something going wrong'. Our time in life is finite. We cannot let our fears get the better of us and cripple us into inactivity. Because the clock keeps ticking, years pass by faster and faster, and one day it'll all be over. There are no do-overs.

Again as I said this is a matter of what works for the individual. Everyone has a choice of either flying by the seat of their pants, or playing it safe, the choice is yours! There is absolutely nothing wrong with a person "playing it safe". History has countless examples of successful ppl playing it safe! Many people do not have the capacity to make the changes in their lives they would like, so for them it's not so easy "take that leap of faith". It's not going to be so terrible if one misses that "opportunity of a lifetime"! After all, not everyone can do everything they'd like in there lives! For many, security is the only thing some people have! So If you're a "maverick" and want to bet your last dollar on a long shot that's you're choice, but no one should be pressured into losing what may be impossible to replace!

[Preacher]

I'm sorry, this post isn't very well written

I'm not going to soft soap this. I hate America and most Americans. To me, Americans are complete scum of the earth. They're selfish, rude, obnoxious, phony, shallow, egotistical, morally bankrupt, callous, sociopathic, materialistic and vapid, unfeeling and just plain rotten. They don't value family and friends and lack humanity. When I look at most of them, when I look at their eyes, I can see there is nothing behind them. They are empty, hallow shells of human beings. It makes my skin crawl.

Spending my whole life living amongst such people, seeing them on the media has completely taken it's toll on me. I've lived a life of crippling loneliness and misery. Such an environment has left me jaded, angry, extremely bitter. It has left me a broken and suicidal person.

Initially when I came across this site and it's forums, I saw it as a blessing. It felt great to know that there where other people who've had the same experiences and felt the same way that I did. It made me realize that I wasn't crazy. That I wasn't the problem, America was. It was great to know that the US of Gay and the Anglosphere didn't represent the rest of the world. That most other countries had people who were friendly, humble, honest, genuine, moral, and kind hearted. It came as a great relief to know the possibility of a happier and healthier life abroad. That I could go to places were I wouldn't be hated for my gender and actually connect with people. I actually began saving money to travel and finally get away from this toxic hell hole. I've managed to save several thousands of dollars.

But over time, my feelings began to change. Reading numerous threads on this forum over the past few years gradually sapped my anticipation of going overseas. Countless times expats have posted thier negative opinions on other countries and I've eventually came away from them with this realization: The people abroad are just as horrible as America. That there are no good people in the world. Regardless of what country you go to, it's all the same: HORRIBLE.

So I've ultimately decided that traveling abroad would just be a huge waste of my time and money. What's the point? Same shit, different country. I've come to the conclusion that good people and good societies just don't exist and no matter where I go, I'll never find peace or happiness. I've pretty much lost all hope.

We are living in the end times. This is a TRASH generation! Lawless, violent, soulless, and selfish. We are living in times exactly as prophecised in 2 Timothy;

In the last days, terrible times will come. For people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, greedy, selfish, abusive, disobedient, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, without love for good, traitorous, reckless, destructive, conceited, lovers of sin instead of lovers of God, showing a fake form of Godliness but denying it's power; like fruit trees that don't bear any more fruit.

That is the exact kind of society and world we are living in today! And Winston is right; in the 1980s, people were much friendlier. From the way the world became like this, I wouldn't be surprised if the return of Jesus Christ were no more than maybe 30 years away.