Is 'Happiness' a journey or a destination

[yick]

So for me, happiness is definitely a journey and it is always is. I found this out somewhat late - not too late thank god and I suppose I found it a lot earlier than many people who never find it.

I would say I am happier with my life than Will Smith is - he seems to be a very unhappy person - he has fame, riches, probably a billionaire and Margot Robbie really fancies him but he is still an unhappy person - I have none of those things but I would say I am happy for the most part and would say that I have a tranquil state of mind, of course I have crap moments in the day and when the inner critic is going all guns blazing but I shut it up soon enough. Will Smith has reached his destination but is clearly 'unhappy' whereas on his way up he was probably happy when he was setting goals - setting goals is long past for him - maybe that is why he is unhappy - I don't know.

But a lot of people lament about their lives on here and do nothing about it or they want it to come to them with ease. My path to happiness is.

Travel - learn things, learn languages, be nice and polite to people, we're all the same even if we don't all speak the same languages or are the same colour
Eat healthy - vegetables, meats, fish, good carbs - knock off the fast food and pop and yeah, knock off the beer
Exercise - weights, running, walking, cycling - do something every day
Don't take drugs - yes, the inner voice is a cunt but drugs just shuts it up for awhile, it comes back as soon as the high wears off.
Forgiveness - in every religious doctrine there is, you need to forgive and most importantly, forgive yourself.
Let go of the past - why would you hold on to angst from 30 years ago I do not know - but you need to move away from it either physically, mentally and spiritually or both.

The first world is a f***ing quagmire at the moment, it's easy to blame others like immigrants and women for the shit state your life is in if you have a dozen credit cards and sinking under personal debt because you want things you can't truly afford and you are drinking and take too many drugs and yeah, point the finger at other people for your unhappiness because you can't be arsed making a plan to get yourself out of it.

I was unhappy once and decided that whatever I could do to change it, I was going to do it, I couldn't change everything but what I could change (which was quite a lot) was enough to get me where I wanted to be. That's the solution, the journey - try it - it will change your life.

[galii]

So for me, happiness is definitely a journey and it is always is. I found this out somewhat late - not too late thank god and I suppose I found it a lot earlier than many people who never find it.

I would say I am happier with my life than Will Smith is - he seems to be a very unhappy person - he has fame, riches, probably a billionaire and Margot Robbie really fancies him but he is still an unhappy person - I have none of those things but I would say I am happy for the most part and would say that I have a tranquil state of mind, of course I have crap moments in the day and when the inner critic is going all guns blazing but I shut it up soon enough. Will Smith has reached his destination but is clearly 'unhappy' whereas on his way up he was probably happy when he was setting goals - setting goals is long past for him - maybe that is why he is unhappy - I don't know.

But a lot of people lament about their lives on here and do nothing about it or they want it to come to them with ease. My path to happiness is.

Travel - learn things, learn languages, be nice and polite to people, we're all the same even if we don't all speak the same languages or are the same colour
Eat healthy - vegetables, meats, fish, good carbs - knock off the fast food and pop and yeah, knock off the beer
Exercise - weights, running, walking, cycling - do something every day
Don't take drugs - yes, the inner voice is a cunt but drugs just shuts it up for awhile, it comes back as soon as the high wears off.
Forgiveness - in every religious doctrine there is, you need to forgive and most importantly, forgive yourself.
Let go of the past - why would you hold on to angst from 30 years ago I do not know - but you need to move away from it either physically, mentally and spiritually or both.

The first world is a f***ing quagmire at the moment, it's easy to blame others like immigrants and women for the shit state your life is in if you have a dozen credit cards and sinking under personal debt because you want things you can't truly afford and you are drinking and take too many drugs and yeah, point the finger at other people for your unhappiness because you can't be arsed making a plan to get yourself out of it.

I was unhappy once and decided that whatever I could do to change it, I was going to do it, I couldn't change everything but what I could change (which was quite a lot) was enough to get me where I wanted to be. That's the solution, the journey - try it - it will change your life.

This is a good thread, @yick I was actually having a deep conversation with my daughter yesterday about the journey vs the destination. We were walking to the park and she kept complaining about when we were going to get there. I told her that she needs to learn to appreciate the journey and not just the destination, it was a nice day and the walk was nice and refreshing so I said she should appreciate the walk and the time we spent together on our way to our destination.

Life itself is a journey from the starting point of birth, and the destination which is death. The journey in between is the only important thing, it's the journey we focus on and not the destination. Happiness is exactly the same, but like life itself we don't really focus on happiness itself only the attainment of it and what it means to actually be happy.

The thing about happiness is that you only know you had it when it's gone. I mean, you may think to yourself that you're happy. But you don't really believe it. You focus on the petty bullshit, or the next job, or whatever. It's only looking back, by comparison to what comes after, that you really understand that's what happiness felt like.

Yesterday I was checking again on good old Arthur Schopenhauer. He says trying to get happiness makes one sad. One could be lucky if one gets to a state where one is without pain. If one has the capacity one should focus on Art and Ascetism.

Talking about the journey for a long time I had the mantras of OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE and PROCESS ORIENTATION. Shure we want results but focusing on it too much make one unbalanced.

[galii]

I mean it is an interesting question but I love how the 'genius flerf' gets so excited:


https://www.youtube.com/shorts/L_G4ipPzGk4
When you think the earth is the shield of the moon

[kangarunner]

We're on a site called Happier Abroad. One may argue that happiness begins first with a destination. The right destination for you.

Simply tell me how you can be happy in TN around a bunch of fat white women who are big, loud, and selfish.

I choose happiness is a destination first. Then happiness is a journey.

A destination that starts with a plane ticket to Thailand and a lot of girls.

[galii]

We're on a site called Happier Abroad. One may argue that happiness begins first with a destination. The right destination for you.

Simply tell me how you can be happy in TN around a bunch of fat white women who are big, loud, and selfish.

I choose happiness is a destination first. Then happiness is a journey.

A destination that starts with a plane ticket to Thailand and a lot of girls.

How can you be happy with Thai girls who are no 10s. How is that possible? How can you be happy without a billion dollars? It is not possible.

[kangarunner]

So for me, happiness is definitely a journey and it is always is. I found this out somewhat late - not too late thank god and I suppose I found it a lot earlier than many people who never find it.

I would say I am happier with my life than Will Smith is - he seems to be a very unhappy person - he has fame, riches, probably a billionaire and Margot Robbie really fancies him but he is still an unhappy person - I have none of those things but I would say I am happy for the most part and would say that I have a tranquil state of mind, of course I have crap moments in the day and when the inner critic is going all guns blazing but I shut it up soon enough. Will Smith has reached his destination but is clearly 'unhappy' whereas on his way up he was probably happy when he was setting goals - setting goals is long past for him - maybe that is why he is unhappy - I don't know.

But a lot of people lament about their lives on here and do nothing about it or they want it to come to them with ease. My path to happiness is.

Travel - learn things, learn languages, be nice and polite to people, we're all the same even if we don't all speak the same languages or are the same colour
Eat healthy - vegetables, meats, fish, good carbs - knock off the fast food and pop and yeah, knock off the beer
Exercise - weights, running, walking, cycling - do something every day
Don't take drugs - yes, the inner voice is a cunt but drugs just shuts it up for awhile, it comes back as soon as the high wears off.
Forgiveness - in every religious doctrine there is, you need to forgive and most importantly, forgive yourself.
Let go of the past - why would you hold on to angst from 30 years ago I do not know - but you need to move away from it either physically, mentally and spiritually or both.

The first world is a f***ing quagmire at the moment, it's easy to blame others like immigrants and women for the shit state your life is in if you have a dozen credit cards and sinking under personal debt because you want things you can't truly afford and you are drinking and take too many drugs and yeah, point the finger at other people for your unhappiness because you can't be arsed making a plan to get yourself out of it.

I was unhappy once and decided that whatever I could do to change it, I was going to do it, I couldn't change everything but what I could change (which was quite a lot) was enough to get me where I wanted to be. That's the solution, the journey - try it - it will change your life.

@Pixel--Dude @Lucas88 @yick

Come on then...you know you Brits always see the bright side of life yeh? How about I buy yer a pint at the local pub in Leeds mate? We can talk about our British culture yeh?

What?

We all stand for Britain!

[yick]

So for me, happiness is definitely a journey and it is always is. I found this out somewhat late - not too late thank god and I suppose I found it a lot earlier than many people who never find it.

I would say I am happier with my life than Will Smith is - he seems to be a very unhappy person - he has fame, riches, probably a billionaire and Margot Robbie really fancies him but he is still an unhappy person - I have none of those things but I would say I am happy for the most part and would say that I have a tranquil state of mind, of course I have crap moments in the day and when the inner critic is going all guns blazing but I shut it up soon enough. Will Smith has reached his destination but is clearly 'unhappy' whereas on his way up he was probably happy when he was setting goals - setting goals is long past for him - maybe that is why he is unhappy - I don't know.

But a lot of people lament about their lives on here and do nothing about it or they want it to come to them with ease. My path to happiness is.

Travel - learn things, learn languages, be nice and polite to people, we're all the same even if we don't all speak the same languages or are the same colour
Eat healthy - vegetables, meats, fish, good carbs - knock off the fast food and pop and yeah, knock off the beer
Exercise - weights, running, walking, cycling - do something every day
Don't take drugs - yes, the inner voice is a cunt but drugs just shuts it up for awhile, it comes back as soon as the high wears off.
Forgiveness - in every religious doctrine there is, you need to forgive and most importantly, forgive yourself.
Let go of the past - why would you hold on to angst from 30 years ago I do not know - but you need to move away from it either physically, mentally and spiritually or both.

The first world is a f***ing quagmire at the moment, it's easy to blame others like immigrants and women for the shit state your life is in if you have a dozen credit cards and sinking under personal debt because you want things you can't truly afford and you are drinking and take too many drugs and yeah, point the finger at other people for your unhappiness because you can't be arsed making a plan to get yourself out of it.

I was unhappy once and decided that whatever I could do to change it, I was going to do it, I couldn't change everything but what I could change (which was quite a lot) was enough to get me where I wanted to be. That's the solution, the journey - try it - it will change your life.

@Pixel--Dude @Lucas88 @yick

Come on then...you know you Brits always see the bright side of life yeh? How about I buy yer a pint at the local pub in Leeds mate? We can talk about our British culture yeh?

What?

We all stand for Britain!

I'd have a pint with you if you were ever in the UK, bud.

This topic reminds me of what we talked about in another thread with @Lucas88 about the 5 pillars of happiness. The journey to happiness is the journey to aquire these 5 pillars of happiness in one's life.

When we were younger Lucas and I talked about happiness being a triad of things to aquire and those were money, friendship and love. But I much prefer your 5 pillars of happiness.

Money, friendship and love can make life better to a certain degree, the problem with all three is that we have very little control over it and all of those things can be took off us - the things we have control over and where we can make changes without anyone's consent is where we can see some real improvements to our lives where we can find happiness (probably contentment is a better word - happiness is something you experience in short spurts I suppose).

Travel is the only one that costs money, the rest of them you can do for free, gratis and for nowt but they can improve your life tenfold (healthy food costs money... but you'll be saving money than what people spend on KFC and microwave meals...) I spent a few years getting bent out of shape over f***ing Brexit and then one day I thought to myself - what is my getting bent out of shape over something I cannot personally or physically change? My weight? Where I can go and live next? The clothes I want to wear? The miles I run per week? These are things I have full control of which can make a massive difference towards my mental wellbeing.

I have also understood is that we all suffer from the 'inner critic' but what I now understand is a) it isn't just me b) they are there to make us behave better - the sooner I started behaving better, the less harsh they were and c) drink and drugs won't shut it up and it never will until you leave here - it's the cop we cannot fool, cannot lie to, cannot beat - we can take depression drugs to quieten it down but I would rather just behave better than be on prozac - some people want to be arseholes and be happy - but of course, apart from the thrill of being an arsehole within that moment, they will pay for the rest of their lives - nothing in this life comes for free and we get away with nothing.

The past cannot change and it is with us forever but we have to let go of it - I find healthy eating, exercise, forgiveness of yourself and others is super important and the place where I grew up where it was crap with crap people and crap experiences, I have left - I think that was really important because there was nothing to be gained buying a house near my high school, marrying 'the girl next door' and sending my kids to that same place that was going to make my life better, it wouldn't have done, getting away and making a new life somewhere else has been a bit part of attaining mental contentment.

I know you have a family @Pixel--Dude so you cannot do that at this moment but you can plan, dream, save for it - and one day it will be there for you.

[yick]

So for me, happiness is definitely a journey and it is always is. I found this out somewhat late - not too late thank god and I suppose I found it a lot earlier than many people who never find it.

I would say I am happier with my life than Will Smith is - he seems to be a very unhappy person - he has fame, riches, probably a billionaire and Margot Robbie really fancies him but he is still an unhappy person - I have none of those things but I would say I am happy for the most part and would say that I have a tranquil state of mind, of course I have crap moments in the day and when the inner critic is going all guns blazing but I shut it up soon enough. Will Smith has reached his destination but is clearly 'unhappy' whereas on his way up he was probably happy when he was setting goals - setting goals is long past for him - maybe that is why he is unhappy - I don't know.

But a lot of people lament about their lives on here and do nothing about it or they want it to come to them with ease. My path to happiness is.

Travel - learn things, learn languages, be nice and polite to people, we're all the same even if we don't all speak the same languages or are the same colour
Eat healthy - vegetables, meats, fish, good carbs - knock off the fast food and pop and yeah, knock off the beer
Exercise - weights, running, walking, cycling - do something every day
Don't take drugs - yes, the inner voice is a cunt but drugs just shuts it up for awhile, it comes back as soon as the high wears off.
Forgiveness - in every religious doctrine there is, you need to forgive and most importantly, forgive yourself.
Let go of the past - why would you hold on to angst from 30 years ago I do not know - but you need to move away from it either physically, mentally and spiritually or both.

The first world is a f***ing quagmire at the moment, it's easy to blame others like immigrants and women for the shit state your life is in if you have a dozen credit cards and sinking under personal debt because you want things you can't truly afford and you are drinking and take too many drugs and yeah, point the finger at other people for your unhappiness because you can't be arsed making a plan to get yourself out of it.

I was unhappy once and decided that whatever I could do to change it, I was going to do it, I couldn't change everything but what I could change (which was quite a lot) was enough to get me where I wanted to be. That's the solution, the journey - try it - it will change your life.

This is a good thread, @yick I was actually having a deep conversation with my daughter yesterday about the journey vs the destination. We were walking to the park and she kept complaining about when we were going to get there. I told her that she needs to learn to appreciate the journey and not just the destination, it was a nice day and the walk was nice and refreshing so I said she should appreciate the walk and the time we spent together on our way to our destination.

Life itself is a journey from the starting point of birth, and the destination which is death. The journey in between is the only important thing, it's the journey we focus on and not the destination. Happiness is exactly the same, but like life itself we don't really focus on happiness itself only the attainment of it and what it means to actually be happy.

The thing about happiness is that you only know you had it when it's gone. I mean, you may think to yourself that you're happy. But you don't really believe it. You focus on the petty bullshit, or the next job, or whatever. It's only looking back, by comparison to what comes after, that you really understand that's what happiness felt like.

True - death is the final destination - but life is like 'Monkey Magic' that we all used to watch on BBC2 in the seventies, life had destinations along the way to a final destination - where we can stop and rest but we have to move on - a big part of mental contentment is moving on, throwing things out, especially things from the past - things that are of no use or give you stress or alarm or unhappiness.

I wouldn't say I was 'happy' but I am certainly content - content enough not to think of taking medication, my mind is on an even keel and it wasn't always like that but I had to think of solutions to change this and I did - but of course things that make me happy? A great song, a great meal, a pretty girl smiling at you, a sunny day, walking out to that sunny day showered and shaved with nice threads on and a nice expensive aftershave, a good run on a nice evening - these things cost little to no money really but they bring happiness but the happiness can't last but if it goes back to contentment then that's OK because you're in a mental space to be able to appreciate the good things in life that bring happiness. Some people get off on being an arsehole - if they can ruin someones day then they are happy for the moment but that's just running up bills you can't pay back with your inner critic - it's funny I can remember embarrassing and crappy things from 35 years ago and I think 'why are you bringing up that?' so these days I choose to act better and be a better person and I have found that is the only way through it.