Why America is bad for social life, dating and mental health

[Winston]

Another new essay of mine:

http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page1c.htm

Why America is bad for social life, dating and mental health

Although America is a good place to make money and get a job, it is bad for social life, dating and mental health, which you are forbidden to complain about lest you be seen as a maladjusted disruptive person.

1) In America, there is no sense of human connection at all. People are socially engineered to be segregated and paranoid of one another, which is not conducive to healthy human relationships at all. This is not just physical but psychological, as "every man is an island" in mind and attitude, as well as body. That's why one often feels "alone" in America even while amongst friends or in crowded places. There is a deep social fragmentation and isolation, making America the loneliest country on Earth. People are not generally inclusive, greetings are superficial, and it is difficult and awkward to try to meet people. Americans are conditioned to think this is all natural and normal human behavior, but that's a total LIE.

Any seasoned traveler who has bonded with people in overseas countries at the grass roots level will tell you that it is NOT natural human behavior at all to be segregated and paranoid in mind and body. And when you become such a seasoned traveler/expatriate, you will fully realize just how dysfunctional and abnormal American social climate really is.

2) Women in America no longer provide the love, companionship and support to men that they used to. Instead they are conditioned by their culture, media and peers to hate men and look down on them as fools, criminals and predators. This is glaringly obvious in the media, Hollywood and social culture. (Yet how can it be conducive to healthy relationships for one gender to be taught to despise the other?!) They are also conditioned not to want to be feminine or act feminine as well, but to be arrogant, demanding, bitchy and spoiled. Being feminine means looking feminine and acting sweet, tender, modest and blushing, traits which modern American women abhor. This not only makes them difficult or impossible for men to get along with, but hard for them to get along with each other as well. It's definitely no accident that in the rest of the whole world they have a highly negative reputation.

All this is done all under the guise of "asserting women's civil rights", which is all a mass lie and deception, as all credible studies show that American women are LESS happy now than they were in the past when they desired to be feminine. None of the arguments by radical feminists are rational, fair or even based in reality. See these feminists who are in denial discredit themselves on Fox News for example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nir-Xjj7PII and these funny clips of comedians exposing the follies and double standards of feminism: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cua1QRqTgFQ

The consequences of this are not just to the detriment of women's own happiness, but also in the creation of a "dating hell" for men, making America one of the worst (if not THE WORST) and most hostile dating scenes for men. The US dating scene is creepy, insane and unnatural. As a result, an untold massive population of men in America are suffering in silence from loneliness, datelessness and sexlessness, afraid to admit it lest they be seen as "losers". There are more males in America who can't get any dates or female companionship than there are in any other country in the world.

3) In America, you are NOT taught to FEEL GOOD about yourself at all! You are conditioned and engineered by your schools, media, culture and peers to feel UNWORTHY, INSECURE and INADEQUATE deep down. And you are programmed to try to fill that manufactured emptiness within by 1) committing to slavery under a corporate dictatorship (aka "getting a career") so you can make money and 2) become a mass consumer junkie who tries to buy everything he/she can that's on the market out there, all under the doctrine that "material goods lead to happiness and well-being" and that "the more the better". Rather than your real qualities, your self-esteem is artificially based on your status in a corporate dictatorship and what you can BUY to enhance your "image".

You are NOT conditioned for self-acceptance, inner wholeness and well-being, which are vital for healthy meaningful social relationships and friendships. Instead, you are taught competition and self-interest.

Now think on this for a moment. Do you think it's a natural occurrence that almost everyone in America suffers from deep insecurities to the point of having "issues" or "baggage", while people in the rest of the world are nowhere near as dysfunctional? No way! People are obviously engineered to be that way for some reason.

This mass brainwashing and programming is all artificial, dysfunctional and detrimental to mental and social health and well-being. And those who see right through it or are immune to such brainwashing are sickened by it. Some refuse to even own a TV cause of it.

The corporate controlled media in the US support all this too. As you've probably noticed, the network news ALWAYS encourages you to go out and BUY more stuff to help the economy, even if it's useless junk you don't need, and NEVER advises you to buy LESS junk! EVER. If that doesn't tell you that the media is corporate controlled, not free and independent, then I don't know what will.

This engineered emptiness and insecurity in the American psyche, coupled with #1 and #2 greatly contribute to America having the highest rates of mental illness in the industrialized world (and perhaps in the entire world) and being one of the worst, if not the worst, countries for dating, social life and mental health.

Conclusion:

The worst part about all this is that we are brainwashed and programmed into believing that these dysfunctional conditions are normal, progressive, and part of a "free society of individual rights and economic progress". But alas, that is an illusion. America is in reality a psychological prison and slave camp filled with entertainments to dumb down and pacify the populace, where people are told that they are "free" and ridiculed if they don't believe it. As the brilliant alternative researcher Michael Tsarion would say, "The most effective prison is one in which those in it think that they are free". (Architects of Control, Tsarion)

In other words, these dysfunctionalities are declared to be healthy and normal by the establishment, and if you don't see it that way, then YOU are the one who is characterized as dysfunctional. It's a classic case of the source of the problem misdirecting the blame back at those who expose them. But that's not surprising of course, since those with a vested interest in maintaining these dysfunctionalities prefer them to be seen as "normal" rather than as "problems" lest their agenda be upset (whatever that may be).

You are programmed to want to be isolated and to want to be a workaholic. But if you don't want that, then you are told you are maladjusted or deviant, and punished or deprived in a variety of ways for not fitting into this "asylum" they call society. That's why you are forbidden to identify, discuss or complain about these dysfunctionalities, lest you risk upsetting the “herd mentality� who are programmed to ostracize and condemn anyone who doesn't "fit in". When you do mention these dysfunctionalities to mainstream people in America, usually you get one of three reactions: 1) Shock and speechlessness. 2) Denial, ridicule and the insinuation that everyone else they know thinks America is friendly, happy and open. 2) Agreement and surprise that someone else feels the same way and dares to talk about it. Try it and you’ll see.

Now if you are happy in a culture of such dysfunctionalities, well then more power to you. You can take the "blue pill" and remain part of the sheeple. But if you aren't, you can stay in the USA and work with it, try to change it, or go ABROAD to one of the 200 other countries where these dysfunctionalities are REVERSED:

1) There is a natural sense of social connectedness. People are open and inclusive. It is easy and natural to meet and connect with others. There is an instant familiarity between strangers rather than an ice barrier. Friendships are truer. There is a camaraderie among friends that you don’t find in America.
2) Dating happens naturally and flows smoothly, without any artificial “skills or techniques�. Women are sweet, modest and feminine – giggling and blushing to compliments. They are approachable, friendly and easy to meet. They respect and need men, and provide love, companionship and support.
3) You feel accepted, whole and good about yourself, allowing the “real you� to emerge naturally.

Now ask yourself: Which of these two social environments would YOU be happier in?

Yet most Americans never hear about these comparisons, and if they do, have trouble believing them for they go against our indoctrination that America is the greatest in all things and that everywhere else can only be worse. Those who do know these differences do not usually share them openly due to their taboo and politically incorrect nature. So that's what we are here for, to publicly disseminate these life-changing truths to those in need (since no one else will). We know that once you go abroad and experience all this, your life is forever changed!

So if you are interested in this latter solution, come to HappierAbroad.com.

For those undecided, I'd like to close with a quote from Marcus Aurelius, a Roman Emperor said, "The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane."

[jamesbond]

Very well put, Winston. We are bred to be consumers and not to socialize with one another. There are more work acholics in the US than any country in the world! Also, there are more lonely people in the US than anywhere else! Welcome to the "United Lonely States of America."

[Winston]

I've changed the name of the essay from "3 Tragedies of American life that you're not supposed to talk about" to "Why America is bad for social life, dating and mental health".

[Shokkers]

The essay makes all sorts of valid points, but it's far from "new", it's basically the same viewpoint that Happier Abroad has cranked out since its inception.
Winston, you ought to try to publish these or others like it in mags--Commentary, GQ, Brutarian, Mother Jones, whatever will take it--that way at least you'd see some $$ out of them. Just posting them on Happier Abroad is like carrying coal to Newcastle.

After reading this and others like it, I made a hypothesis; I'm guessing there's a link...and probably a pretty broad one...between a country's technology level, and its social 'health', for lack of a better term. For example, in the US, nearly everyone has television and internet access. Other countries, not so much. That in itself might force people to interact more. Also, more advertising broadcasts might make women feel entitled to wealth, power, accessories, etc.

[Winston]

The essay makes all sorts of valid points, but it's far from "new", it's basically the same viewpoint that Happier Abroad has cranked out since its inception.
Winston, you ought to try to publish these or others like it in mags--Commentary, GQ, Brutarian, Mother Jones, whatever will take it--that way at least you'd see some $$ out of them. Just posting them on Happier Abroad is like carrying coal to Newcastle.

After reading this and others like it, I made a hypothesis; I'm guessing there's a link...and probably a pretty broad one...between a country's technology level, and its social 'health', for lack of a better term. For example, in the US, nearly everyone has television and internet access. Other countries, not so much. That in itself might force people to interact more. Also, more advertising broadcasts might make women feel entitled to wealth, power, accessories, etc.

Shokkers, everything I write is "new"in the sense that I'm the ONLY one writing it! Look at all the scores of mainstream expat or dating sites. None of them address these things. The mail order bride sites make a few references to the horrible relationships you get in the US, as part of their selling package, but that's all. They don't get into depth about them.

As far as submitting them to Men's magazines, hah, you don't understand that this kind of talk is considered taboo. If you don't believe me, write to those magazines and send them this article, and you'll see. My articles have too much perceived "anti Americanism" in them to be published.

Yeah I've made points like this in the past but I find different ways to present them in an easy to understand format. You see, I don't sit down and decide to write these consciously. They more like hit me from nowhere while I'm doing other things, as though I'm receiving these "messages and ideas", kind of like how the writers of the Bible and other holy books receive some "inspiration" to write them. They are messages that come here for a reason. Who knows, maybe I'm channeling them from somewhere? There is so much about reality that we don't know, so you never know.

Yeah the hypothesis you made does have a correlation. There are many other factors, but as I'm learning, there may be high level conspiracies involved in all this too.

[momopi]

The essay makes all sorts of valid points, but it's far from "new", it's basically the same viewpoint that Happier Abroad has cranked out since its inception.
Winston, you ought to try to publish these or others like it in mags--Commentary, GQ, Brutarian, Mother Jones, whatever will take it--that way at least you'd see some $$ out of them. Just posting them on Happier Abroad is like carrying coal to Newcastle.

After reading this and others like it, I made a hypothesis; I'm guessing there's a link...and probably a pretty broad one...between a country's technology level, and its social 'health', for lack of a better term. For example, in the US, nearly everyone has television and internet access. Other countries, not so much. That in itself might force people to interact more. Also, more advertising broadcasts might make women feel entitled to wealth, power, accessories, etc.

Winston's essay is valid according to his perspective, that America does not fufill his "needs". But every person's needs differ and changes through time. Some people feel suffocated in an environment while others thrive in it. Winston dislike the lack of human connection, vs. some of my ex-coworkers moved to rural areas to enjoy the solitude. Actually, I woudln't mind owning a cabin somewhere and go fish and hunt part of the year. I'd be happy with a rifle or fishing rod in hand, but I'm not sure if I could live the rural lifestyle year-round.

When I was young, my parents decided that they were not going to raise a needy 'mama's boy" because I was the only child. So I was taught that I have 2 hands and should go and fix my own problems. When I fell, my parents expected me to get back up on my own without their assistance. IMO this mentality works great in America', but it's not for everyone.

My old college fencing instructor once said to me, fencing is a sport for those who like to poke, or like to be poked. If you don't like either, go do something else. Most of us have the power to vote with our feet. If you don't like where you live, MOVE. America is "employement-at-will", which means if you don't like your job, QUIT and go do something else. Find your own happiness in life.

[Winston]

Winston's essay is valid according to his perspective, that America does not fufill his "needs". But every person's needs differ and changes through time. Some people feel suffocated in an environment while others thrive in it. Winston dislike the lack of human connection, vs. some of my ex-coworkers moved to rural areas to enjoy the solitude. Actually, I woudln't mind owning a cabin somewhere and go fish and hunt part of the year. I'd be happy with a rifle or fishing rod in hand, but I'm not sure if I could live the rural lifestyle year-round.

When I was young, my parents decided that they were not going to raise a needy 'mama's boy" because I was the only child. So I was taught that I have 2 hands and should go and fix my own problems. When I fell, my parents expected me to get back up on my own without their assistance. IMO this mentality works great in America', but it's not for everyone.

My old college fencing instructor once said to me, fencing is a sport for those who like to poke, or like to be poked. If you don't like either, go do something else. Most of us have the power to vote with our feet. If you don't like where you live, MOVE. America is "employement-at-will", which means if you don't like your job, QUIT and go do something else. Find your own happiness in life.

True, it's valid to my needs. But my point is true, that the media ignores these valid points. They don't just go for me. They affect everyone to some degree. We are all interconnected, remember?

There are many who are not "fulfilled" in America. But no attention is given to them. Instead, the media continues to promote the propaganda that America is the greatest in all things, that everyone has a better life here than somewhere else, and that all other countries are worse off an less happy. Thus, anyone not happy or fulfilled in America must blame themselves. Even Ladislav sees this propaganda.

For example, the feelings and thoughts of these Indian immigrants who regret coming to America, are never covered in the mainstream media:

http://www.littleindia.com/august2004/U ... merica.htm

Thus there are many who feel the same way, affected by the social dysfunctions and aberrations in America, which are being ignored and made taboo to talk about. Remember you are programmed to blame yourself if you have a problem in America, esp if it's of a social nature.

I like mountain cabins and secluded places too. I am a nature lover remember? But I don't like environments where I have no choice but to have no social life or sex life against my will. That is awful and I won't blame myself for it since I did nothing wrong. f**k that.

Now back to Shokker's point. Media magazines like GQ have to appease their subscribers. Some of my material could be construed as anti-American. Not that it is anti-American (it is simply about telling the truth) but it can be misconstrued that way. The magazine editors will not want to risk offending its subscribers with talk about other countries having a better dating or social scene than the US. Remember we are indoctrinated with the belief that everything in America is better than everywhere else, including the social life. Most Americans are patriotic in that sense. A magazine would not want to risk angering its audience by printing my material, even if the editors agree that what I write is true.

Therefore, writing the truth or making valid points isn't enough to get published. It's gotta be what they want to hear as well. And controversial content is touchy. When you have a large audience, you gotta stay politically correct to a degree.

Btw Momopi, you never told us, are you "happier abroad"? Or is that a secret you wish to keep to yourself?

[momopi]

Btw Momopi, you never told us, are you "happier abroad"? Or is that a secret you wish to keep to yourself?

Sure, I love to travel and visit new places. But that's not the same as actually living there.

Given the opportunity, I'd love to spend a few months in Japan and catch up with all my friends there. Many of my close friends from the anime fandom days have moved to Japan and I haven't seen them in years.

[Winston]

Btw Momopi, you never told us, are you "happier abroad"? Or is that a secret you wish to keep to yourself?

Sure, I love to travel and visit new places. But that's not the same as actually living there.

Given the opportunity, I'd love to spend a few months in Japan and catch up with all my friends there. Many of my close friends from the anime fandom days have moved to Japan and I haven't seen them in years.

So you mean you are generally "happier" when you are overseas than when you in America, right?

Why? What are the reasons why you are "happier abroad"? Is it cause something is better overseas for you? If so, what?

And why don't you just move overseas, since you have the resources if you wanted to.

[momopi]

So you mean you are generally "happier" when you are overseas than when you in America, right?

Why? What are the reasons why you are "happier abroad"? Is it cause something is better overseas for you? If so, what?

And why don't you just move overseas, since you have the resources if you wanted to.

I enjoy traveling and visiting new places. Technically speaking, Canada and Mexico isn't overseas, but it's just as fun to me as visiting London or Geneva. Actually... Vancouver is only 3 hr flight and much cheaper (the Halibut fishing in BC is awesome). In London they charge for every bowl of rice at Chinese restaurant. >_< Plus my cousin lives in Richmond (BC) so I can bum off at his house and not pay hotel fees.

http://www.barkleyadventurestation.com/ ... ave219.JPG


If I ever get married and have kids, I'd take the family and live overseas for few years and give the children better exposure to the wider world. My first preference would be Japan, and 2nd would be Taiwan. I used to have Singapore on the list but decided that I didn't want an English speaking country.

Life in South OC is pretty good. I only need to work on contract here and there to get by, and spend my spare time playing video games, fishing, going to the beach, and attending culinary school. When I get bored, I fly back to Taiwan for a month to visit family and ex GF's. Only down side is that fishing isn't that great here, I have to drive to San Diego and take a boat to Baja. My preception of going to another country is probably different from some folks here, since Mexico is just 2 hours away by car.