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We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

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We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by Winston » January 20th, 2017, 3:15 pm

My cultural advisor Ladislav wrote a fantastic essay on Facebook about why many of us have become social refugees in the Philippines. Since he didn't post it here, i will post it for him.

Ladislav:

Social Refugees in the Philippines

There are some people in the PH society that think if if there is a tourist or a ‘porener’ in the country, he’s there either for female entertainment or for drugs and other illegal activity. Granted, such tourists exist. But those who think that that is solely the purpose of people to come to the country, fail to appreciate the cultural treasures of this nation. They probably think that abroad, it’s paradise, and, if anyone comes to the Islands, it’s because something’s wrong with them. People usually move out of the Philippines, not move into the Philippines.Why are they coming then?

I’d like to introduce one category of people called “social refugees”. That term was common in the USA in the 90’s, particularly in relation to Japanese people, who had money, but who were tired of all “the oppression”of Japan. And who came to live in the US as a result. Many Japanese women, for example, chose to move to America after age 25-27. They would say that they were too old for anything in Japan- work-wise and romance-wise, and that in the States, different opportunities for work and social life were open to them. Many immediately found US boyfriends/husbands, opened up businesses and lived happily.

The same was true of many Koreans who moved to the USA. Russian women also loved living there because the US men were so respectful of them and treated them like queens. You had people who wanted to practice their religion freely or do business free from too much competition. Some wanted more fresh air and better social order. They could have stayed in their countries where their lives were OK, but they felt that America was a better society, in which they would be treated better- particularly, in the social sense.

The Philippines also has social refugees from many countries of the world. They move there because they feel that the Philippines is a better society in which to live. That it has better people, more kindness, and is generally a healthier country in the social sense. They also feel that there are many cultural treasures to explore. Many people who are discriminated against in the home country for this or that reason become warmly embraced by Filipinos as soon as they arrive.

Among the usual spat of Koreans, Americans, Brits and Aussies, you also have Scandinavians who no longer want to live in the politically correct, feminist dictatorships which their countries have become. There are also quite a few Eastern European men who had emigrated to Canada, the US, Australia or NZ but who are now living in the Philippines. They said they felt lonely in those countries, but could not go back to E. Europe because of bad dictatorships there at that time.They were also appalled at the bad attitudes of Western women and the contempt they got from them.

These guys were used to having may friends and having a real girlfriend ( as a Polish or a Bulgarian girl would be). So, they packed up their bags and moved to the PH with their new US, Australian and Canadian passports. There was a Polish guy in Davao who was seriously courting a Filipina, an Estonian guy in Angeles City was was always cheerful and relaxed, and a Bulgarian and Romanian guys in Cebu.

They were all very happy having found a similar culture with friendly people in the Philippines. And Filipina ladies were showing great interest in them. (E. Euro guys were modest, family oriented and friendly kasi) But Western women had totally ignored them.

I remember an old Czech guy in Pampanga who was always sitting in a park. He had gray hair and a prosthetic leg. Such a person would be avoided anywhere in the West and even in his own country. But you always saw Filipino people around him, always trying to talk to him. I walked up to him and the Filipino people told me,” He’s our friend! We always visit him”.

You have Iranians who got tired of the lack of social and other freedoms in Iran, and who got married in the PH and stayed. I met an native Siberian girl who was tired of the Russian racism, and she ended up marrying a Filipino and having a kid with him. And the list goes on.Why are they so happy? This is probably why in detail:

1) The Filipino culture is like a giant burr. It has many small hooks to which, any person, from anywhere in the world ,can hitch themselves to and feel right at home. Be they of black race, white race,yellow race, or brown race, they will find a way to fit in. Filipinos have a mild, “ velvety “quality to them, and when you walk down the street, you feel an inclusive vibe coming from the crowd. It’s like you fuse with it. The feeling of isolation that you felt in other countries disappears. You are now one of the crowd, strangely enough. It’s like there is this warm, friendly current, and you just start flowing with it.

2) The Philippines is a culture that values respect of and hospitality to strangers. The tradition is very old and cannot be budged. Whether you walk through a barangay, or a big mall, you feel that respect and warmth at every step. In contrast, many so-called developed countries ( both white and yellow race ones) which Filipinos admire so much, often have very cold, bigoted and unfriendly people. A person who’s not a member of some well established clique or race/ethnicity finds it very hard to make friends or feel part of anything. There are many lonely people there, particularly if they are older or not as good looking or too short, or eccentric --or anything of the sorts. Foreigners who move to those countries are forced to associate with own kind as the locals reject them. No one’s curious about them. Local women ( and often, men) don’t want to date them, and they feel like total outsiders. They soon become sad and lonely. And even many locals often feel excluded.

This is, generally, not the case with the Philippines. Short people, old people, eccentric people, and all others, who come from another country are welcome to join the society in the PH - in the social sense, at least. They find friends pretty much on the spot, and the sense of exclusion and loneliness disappears. Gloomy Germans and Koreans join groups of friendly and happy Filipinos and, after some time, begin smiling and become friendly, too. The so-called clannishness of the Philippine society is open clannishness. It’s not the inherent suspicious cliquishness of the “developed” world. That’s something that many Filipinos often fail to see and appreciate about their own culture, but what foreigners find so refreshing.

3) Social interactions as well as love and romance exist for their own sake. People in the Philippines, traditionally, become friends and lovers without money or self interest. Even though in the latter times, materialism and “calculatedness” have become more common, many people will still want to be your friend just to enjoy your company. The same goes for love. Any person, rich or poor, handsome or ugly, can find friends and/or lovers. Any foreigner who comes to the Philippines- male or female, will soon find someone who he/she can be friends with and whom he/she can love. Most importantly, a man doesn’t need to have a car to have a girlfriend or a wife. He doesn’t need to have a glamorous job. He doesn’t need to pay money as a “ bride price” to the parents. Soon, he/she will find someone who will love him just for him and want to have something special with him. Particularly ,outside of big cities, such people are quite easy to find. They may not always be super good-looking, or belong to some elite, but they will have great hearts.

4) The laws and regulations are not as strict. Yes, you can drink a beer on the street. No, there’s no police car patrolling every five minutes with angry cops checking out the streets. Driver licenses are easy to get, bank accounts are easy to open. People can start small businesses on a shoe string, and the permits are not that hard to come by. You don’t need huge capital to become an entrepreneur. There are a lot of economic freedoms. Thus, you can buy your friend or partner a small store for a song, and the person can make enough money to live on.

5) Friendliness to foreigners/other races, and openness to other cultures are without equals. In many countries, people can’t stand other cultures, races or languages. They won’t watch movies from other countries. They try to avoid foreigners and want to keep their cultures pure. They make visas hard to obtain. In the Philippines, visas are easy to get, and there’s little dislike of foreigners. Most people want to see foreigners come and live there and join their culture. It often happens that you walk down the street, and a bunch of people just grab you, seat you next to them and treat you to food and beer. Sometimes, they nearly force you to drink some rum with them, and it’s rude to refuse.

In no Asian ( or even European) country anywhere, would children call a man of another race a “ daddy” or “ tatay”. The locals will never call you a “ kabayan”. No matter how long you live there and no matter how well you speak the language. Often , in other countries, kids will stick a finger in your face and call you a “ foreign devil” or some other nasty name, and the parents will just be sitting there smiling while the kids insult and taunt you. The adults will rarely ask you to sit with them. Their concept of race is strong. But in the Philippines, sometimes you walk down the street, and you hear a kid shout, “Daddy!” at you. You hear some guy from your neighborhood call you a ‘kabayan’. This fills your heart with joy and warmth. It makes you feel part of community. Few countries will make you feel so much part of the culture as this country.

For many millennia, the Islands have been a place where people of many races, nationalities and other groups mingled freely, made friends and loved each other. Few countries can boast of such cultural receptiveness- including many of those which Filipinos admire.

6) A uniquely “ triangular” culture the likes of which do not exist anywhere on Earth. It’s very rich and deep and worthy of decades of study, and still, one can never full grasp it. It has three sides to it: the native SE Asian element ( very similar to Thailand, Cambodia, Indonesia, Myanmar and Laos), a Hispanic element, and an Anglo-Saxon ( American) element.

The Asian part of the culture creates a non-confrontational, meditative feel in society,gives it modesty, politeness and smooth social interactions. The Malay family structure assures strong kin group ties and respect within family. The ancient Buddhist and Hindu elements add the philosophical and tolerant aspects to the culture.

However, the Asian part is tempered by the Hispanic component which adds romanticism, passion, expressiveness and friendliness. It adds joy of life and love of celebrations.

Unlike other Asians, who often appear to be too reserved and to have “ stone faces”, Filipinos appear way more “ human”. Their eyes are moving, there’s a genuine smile and eye contact, they enjoy touching,hugging, and just acting “ normal”. But the Hispanic part is not too Hispanic. There’s no wounded pride, not much machismo, no desire to confront people in loud debates or have wild mood wings. There’s no intolerance to, or hatred of other religions, either. The Catholicism is soft; it’s as if it’s still Hinduism or Buddhism, but only the rites are Catholic. A Filipino will put a big Buddha in the house next to the cross with Jesus on it. No other culture would do it.

The Anglo-Saxon element adds drive, common sense and practicality to the triangle. The people are taught to dream, to study and work hard, to get degrees, to solve problems, to be confident, patient and persistent, to be strong, just like Americans( or Brits). But at the same time, the American side is tempered by the Spanish romanticism and conservatism- and the Asian modesty. Bragging, being cocky and swaggering around is seen as a good thing in America, as well as being selfish, individualistic and stingy. But not so in the Philippines. The Malay communality will take care of those and take the edge off of the rugged American individualism - and not let it rise.

The triangle is self-completing and does not create contradictions or identity crises. Thus, these three elements have fused into the amazing Filipino personality and made a Filipino person so interesting to know.

7) Freedom from gloom, depression, sadness, and mental disease. Happiness hangs in the air no matter what. The numbers of heavily depressed Filipinos, Filipinos who are mentally ill or those who commit suicide are low. It’s a happy country with positive and optimistic people. They always find ways, they never give up; they do cry sometimes, but the tears quickly dry up. Their resilience is amazing. Few need to take anti-depressants or go to a therapist, as they do in the West. All people can vent to a friend, talk to someone they know, and on the following day, be in a good mood again. This is in contrast to the developed world where people pay psychiatrists to listen to them, where suicide rates are high, where people pop anti-depressants regularly; and where, if you want talk to someone to ask for advice, they just tell you to “Get professional help!”

When foreigners come to the Philippines, many become fascinated by its cultural and social characteristics and fall in love with the country. If and when they have to leave, they often cry and want to be back soon. I knew a Japanese lady who had been in the Philippines for a couple of decades. As almost all expats, she complained of the negative aspects of the society, particularly’ Oh, no, the traffic;oh no, the buses don’t run on time. ’ ‘The Spaniards totally robbed the people of national pride, they need to have more dignity’, she would often remark. Yet, she stayed on. “ I don’t feel oppressed here. I feel free. “

Another guy I knew, a Frenchman, would also often let off steam about this and that, but in the end, he would say: “I can be myself here, and still be accepted. I don’t need to pretend to be someone else”.

My mother said to me once,” You should stay there as long and as often as you can. It’s a warm-hearted country that accepts you just the way you are”.

So, please next time, if you see a foreigner with a happy smile on his/her face walking down the street of a Philippine city or town, please assume good things about him. He’s happy because he’s been enjoying all the aspects of the Philippine life and culture which have been described above. He’s probably a social refugee, so please give him a social asylum.
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El_Caudillo
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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by El_Caudillo » January 20th, 2017, 8:10 pm

Great essay. People in Indonesia are very friendly but it's still us and them.
Even Billy knows that, just ask Mr S!

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by starchild5 » January 21st, 2017, 4:37 am

Wonderful..I can also add that Philippines is the END when it comes to Spirituality...and I'm from India...The land of so called Spirituality.

The final goal to reach God is RESPECT. The only place in the entire world you can learn the meaning of respect is Philippines. It takes 100s of life times in India to learn that final step before you realize God....You do not understand what people do in India to gain that RESPECT...In Philippines its OVERFLOWING...

Entire Indian spirituality is based on that one word. Do not come to India to find yourself as many western folks do...Believe me....Go to Philippines......

Philippines is the Short Cut to Reach God. :D

My Ego hurt so much when I first landed in Philippines and I was so proud of my spirituality ....It was very hard to accept Philippines being more spiritual than India.

Philippines has so much DEPTH....It can easily "SUCK" a Polish, American, Czech, Iranian, Indian, Chinese, African in a day and you won't feel it...Its due to richness in spirituality of its people....What Ladislav mentioned acceptability is due to its depth is spirituality...

------------------------

Philippines will be the final hope for humanity as more and more western folks go there by 2017 as economy of Jewrope implodes and chaos reigns in Europe.

Also...NEVER BELIEVE in what they show on TV, Mainstream Media about Philippines...Its 100% different on the ground..

Its Amazing that...Winston...American/Chinese....Ladislav...Russian?...Me Indian ..can relate to one country this easily....That's spirituality folks...

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by Winston » January 21st, 2017, 6:42 pm

Ladislav,
Why aren't you experiencing in the Philippines what you did in 1991 anymore? It must have been a true paradise back then. Is it possible to experience this now? I'm referring to below.

http://www.happierabroad.com/Love_Adven ... ppines.htm
"In 1991 I finally went to the Philippines to check it out. This was the place where I had a blast. I mean a real blast. The time I spent there was my great redemption. The absolute total repayment of damages that loneliness and mistreatment by women in the US caused me.

I arrived there a bit jittery- you always hear about how dangerous the Philippines was. A Navy guy recommended that I go to Cebu which was supposed to be a very safe place. So go I did.

After I arrived at the hotel where I was to stay, immediately I met a girl, a floor manager and she seemed to be interested in me. We talked and I plucked up my courage and asked her on a date- Guess what the answer was? "Yes!!! When can we go?"Wow! Just like that! I was not used to it. None of this- "I am busy, I have an appointment/headache" stuff you hear in the US.

I went out with her and we went to the movies , then, a few days later, the beach and then we started swimming under the full moon and kissing- that was a total blast- just like a dream...

Then, the next day I left early to avoid her as I really did not want to get hooked on the first girl I met and just stepped out of the hotel and started walking. The streets were full of young college girls- all in really cute uniforms and every girl was cuter than the next. Some were looking at me. Then one girl blew me a kiss. I heard "Wow! Handsome" coming from some...Incredible!

I was shocked! This was unreal. I was even embarrased. I got into a jeepney- it is a vehicle that the Filipinos use for transporation: It looks like this:

http://images.google.com.ph/images?hl=e ... q=&start=0

And as I sat down, one young guy told me: "Hey, you are new here, watch out! ". I asked him why I should watch out. He said: "Because we are gonna marry you to a Filipina." I grunted something and off we went. I went to the beach and then on the way back, these college girls just flooded into the jeepney. One really cute creature just like one of those dream Hawaiian girls from the movie Blue Hawaii just plopped right next to me smiling. The driver said: "You like her? Ask her out!" I was blushing. But since this was not the US, I plucked up my courage and said Do you want to go to the movies? The answer was a nod and a smile. We went to the movies . It is always " Yes" with those girls. Later after the movies, she took me to her house and introduced me to her family.

This was just the beginning. Later I got on another jeepney and it was full of girls, too. One girl stared at me and asked me: "You got a wife?" I said "No". She pointed at her friends: "Well, choose one!" And they all roared with laughter.

The thing was the girls were all so cute and fresh-looking and appearing very happy. They were friendly. Modest, coquettish, feminine yet aggressive. Real girls.

The floor manager at the hotel met me again and we went out again but I told her " Baby, baby don't get hooked on me..." and just asked that we'd be just friends. Then the second girl called me and said these words:

"Hello, my name is Inday, we met in the jeepney. I told all the girls in college about you and they all want to meet you."

Yup! They ALL want to meet me.

I went to a department store and again it was chuck full of little miss Universes- sales girls. I approached a counter and they crowded me.

" You are so cute. Your face is so cute". Then on another occasion I was paying for some stuff that I bought and the cashiersstarted whispering something. I though something was wrong. The answer was: "Very handsome"." Who, me?" "Yes, you"."What is so handsome about me?"  "I don't know, maybe it is your tantalizing eyes". And they started laughing.

I could go on and on and on. I would sit down and relax and girls would pass by and whisper to each other pointing me out. The word I learned was "gwapo"- handsome. Once I was just crossing the road. Four young ladies linked their hands and would not let me through. Sales girls from stalls would call out- "Hello, Darling!"

After a few days, I noticed something different about me when I looked in themirror. My eyes were no longer sad as they used to be. I was smiling for real. Because this was the way a man should be treated. Appreciated. Desired. Women should seek him out and not the other way around. Rejections and maltreatment by women in the US or anywhere else where cruel women live harm the man from within. Rob him of his dignity. Slowly eat away at his self-respect and the sense of self-worth. Make him ill on his inside. He may not show it but permanent scars would form on his inside. My time in the Philippines was like some magic ointmetfor those scars. They were finally gone!

A place like that was not planet Earth the way I knew it. At least it should not be planet Earth. It was a Shangri-lah.

At night, my nightlife would start. I would go to bars and karaoke establishments and there would be girls everywhere and not many guys. The girls would crowd me. They were so gorgeous I was out of breath.

In the US, if you go to a night club, you always see more guys than girls and the guys look glum and pissed off. The girls look like they are princesses even if butt ugly. Here it was different. The guys looked friendly and non-threatening. Most were just relaxing. No competition. Enough girls for everyone to go around.

Eventually, I took three girls who were working in the karaoke and we went to a resort where we rented a hut on the beach under palm trees. If there is a heavenly situation that one can imagine, it would probably be falling alseep in a bamboo house while listening to the surf and the wind rustling in the palm trees while being hugged by three angelic young ladies from the South Seas...

That's living!. No amount of job satisfaction or professional achievement cannot bring you close to the sense of fullfilment that such experiences can bring."
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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by Winston » January 21st, 2017, 6:53 pm

Starchild,
My italian friend in angeles city saw this thread and had this to say about your post.

[1/21, 2:54 PM] Alex From Italy: star childish wrote:
Its Amazing that...Winston...American/Chinese....Ladislav...Russian?...Me Indian ..can relate to one country this easily....That's spirituality folks...
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: LOL, that's just coming here with good enough money to live as retired or tourists
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: come here and live like a Filipino
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: in a Filipino house
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: with a Filipino income
[1/21, 2:56 PM] Alex From Italy: and see how everyone will be interested on you hahaha
[1/21, 2:57 PM] Alex From Italy: I can say it because I'm living it and I can experience and observe the difference
[1/21, 2:59 PM] Alex From Italy: even though I'm still having a lifestyle with higher comfort than average Filipino, yet my lifestyle, is way lower than average western foreigner especially if temporarily here so living like a tourist
[1/21, 3:05 PM] Alex From Italy: yes, I agree that Philippines is still better than other low developed countries when it comes to welcome western foreigners, but that has nothing to do with spirituality but with history and the strong influence due to the relevant presence of Americans here for decades while bringing here good money unlike other colonists which they just or mainly took advantage of the land and people here
[1/21, 3:09 PM] Alex From Italy: one thing I liked of Ladislav essay. it's that he always refer to foreigners coming from the "developed world" which isn't just USA, as I always underline that the social issue isn't a USA only thing but it's related to developed economies.
[1/21, 3:10 PM] Alex From Italy: and he somehow has mentioned that here too the poison that comes with a developing economy is taking effect on an increasing number of people in the Philippines too
[1/21, 3:14 PM] Alex From Italy: as usual the more poor the people, the more their faith on religions, faith in family, faith in relationships. the more wealthy the people the more atheist, more self centered and proud, the more likely to rely on own self autonomy
[1/21, 3:15 PM] Alex From Italy: assuming that there's no need of help from others and everyone is expendable
[1/21, 3:21 PM] Alex From Italy: at point 3 ladislav noted that something is changing here too... "in the latter times, materialism and “calculatedness” have become more common"
[1/21, 3:21 PM] Alex From Italy: guess why?
[1/21, 3:22 PM] Alex From Italy: yes, the economy development
[1/21, 3:24 PM] Alex From Italy: the singularity of the Philippines rely only on being a western oriented culture with a not yet developed economy
[1/21, 3:25 PM] Alex From Italy: so for western people coming here is like a time travel to the past which is also why old man feels younger here
[1/21, 3:26 PM] Alex From Italy: men*
[1/21, 3:27 PM] Alex From Italy: we could feel the same if we could time travel back to the past of our countries of origin
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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by chanta76 » January 22nd, 2017, 2:55 am

Winston wrote:Ladislav,
Why aren't you experiencing in the Philippines what you did in 1991 anymore? It must have been a true paradise back then. Is it possible to experience this now? I'm referring to below.

http://www.happierabroad.com/Love_Adven ... ppines.htm
"In 1991 I finally went to the Philippines to check it out. This was the place where I had a blast. I mean a real blast. The time I spent there was my great redemption. The absolute total repayment of damages that loneliness and mistreatment by women in the US caused me.

I arrived there a bit jittery- you always hear about how dangerous the Philippines was. A Navy guy recommended that I go to Cebu which was supposed to be a very safe place. So go I did.

After I arrived at the hotel where I was to stay, immediately I met a girl, a floor manager and she seemed to be interested in me. We talked and I plucked up my courage and asked her on a date- Guess what the answer was? "Yes!!! When can we go?"Wow! Just like that! I was not used to it. None of this- "I am busy, I have an appointment/headache" stuff you hear in the US.

I went out with her and we went to the movies , then, a few days later, the beach and then we started swimming under the full moon and kissing- that was a total blast- just like a dream...

Then, the next day I left early to avoid her as I really did not want to get hooked on the first girl I met and just stepped out of the hotel and started walking. The streets were full of young college girls- all in really cute uniforms and every girl was cuter than the next. Some were looking at me. Then one girl blew me a kiss. I heard "Wow! Handsome" coming from some...Incredible!

I was shocked! This was unreal. I was even embarrased. I got into a jeepney- it is a vehicle that the Filipinos use for transporation: It looks like this:

http://images.google.com.ph/images?hl=e ... q=&start=0

And as I sat down, one young guy told me: "Hey, you are new here, watch out! ". I asked him why I should watch out. He said: "Because we are gonna marry you to a Filipina." I grunted something and off we went. I went to the beach and then on the way back, these college girls just flooded into the jeepney. One really cute creature just like one of those dream Hawaiian girls from the movie Blue Hawaii just plopped right next to me smiling. The driver said: "You like her? Ask her out!" I was blushing. But since this was not the US, I plucked up my courage and said Do you want to go to the movies? The answer was a nod and a smile. We went to the movies . It is always " Yes" with those girls. Later after the movies, she took me to her house and introduced me to her family.

This was just the beginning. Later I got on another jeepney and it was full of girls, too. One girl stared at me and asked me: "You got a wife?" I said "No". She pointed at her friends: "Well, choose one!" And they all roared with laughter.

The thing was the girls were all so cute and fresh-looking and appearing very happy. They were friendly. Modest, coquettish, feminine yet aggressive. Real girls.

The floor manager at the hotel met me again and we went out again but I told her " Baby, baby don't get hooked on me..." and just asked that we'd be just friends. Then the second girl called me and said these words:

"Hello, my name is Inday, we met in the jeepney. I told all the girls in college about you and they all want to meet you."

Yup! They ALL want to meet me.

I went to a department store and again it was chuck full of little miss Universes- sales girls. I approached a counter and they crowded me.

" You are so cute. Your face is so cute". Then on another occasion I was paying for some stuff that I bought and the cashiersstarted whispering something. I though something was wrong. The answer was: "Very handsome"." Who, me?" "Yes, you"."What is so handsome about me?"  "I don't know, maybe it is your tantalizing eyes". And they started laughing.

I could go on and on and on. I would sit down and relax and girls would pass by and whisper to each other pointing me out. The word I learned was "gwapo"- handsome. Once I was just crossing the road. Four young ladies linked their hands and would not let me through. Sales girls from stalls would call out- "Hello, Darling!"

After a few days, I noticed something different about me when I looked in themirror. My eyes were no longer sad as they used to be. I was smiling for real. Because this was the way a man should be treated. Appreciated. Desired. Women should seek him out and not the other way around. Rejections and maltreatment by women in the US or anywhere else where cruel women live harm the man from within. Rob him of his dignity. Slowly eat away at his self-respect and the sense of self-worth. Make him ill on his inside. He may not show it but permanent scars would form on his inside. My time in the Philippines was like some magic ointmetfor those scars. They were finally gone!

A place like that was not planet Earth the way I knew it. At least it should not be planet Earth. It was a Shangri-lah.

At night, my nightlife would start. I would go to bars and karaoke establishments and there would be girls everywhere and not many guys. The girls would crowd me. They were so gorgeous I was out of breath.

In the US, if you go to a night club, you always see more guys than girls and the guys look glum and pissed off. The girls look like they are princesses even if butt ugly. Here it was different. The guys looked friendly and non-threatening. Most were just relaxing. No competition. Enough girls for everyone to go around.

Eventually, I took three girls who were working in the karaoke and we went to a resort where we rented a hut on the beach under palm trees. If there is a heavenly situation that one can imagine, it would probably be falling alseep in a bamboo house while listening to the surf and the wind rustling in the palm trees while being hugged by three angelic young ladies from the South Seas...

That's living!. No amount of job satisfaction or professional achievement cannot bring you close to the sense of fullfilment that such experiences can bring."

I'm curious to know too if time changed allot. South Korea and Japan was easier for western guys back in those days but today it got harder. I hear that the Philippines is heading that direction too.

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by starchild5 » January 22nd, 2017, 3:37 am

Winston wrote:Starchild,
My italian friend in angeles city saw this thread and had this to say about your post.

[1/21, 2:54 PM] Alex From Italy: star childish wrote:
Its Amazing that...Winston...American/Chinese....Ladislav...Russian?...Me Indian ..can relate to one country this easily....That's spirituality folks...
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: LOL, that's just coming here with good enough money to live as retired or tourists
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: come here and live like a Filipino
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: in a Filipino house
[1/21, 2:55 PM] Alex From Italy: with a Filipino income
[1/21, 2:56 PM] Alex From Italy: and see how everyone will be interested on you hahaha
[1/21, 2:57 PM] Alex From Italy: I can say it because I'm living it and I can experience and observe the difference
[1/21, 2:59 PM] Alex From Italy: even though I'm still having a lifestyle with higher comfort than average Filipino, yet my lifestyle, is way lower than average western foreigner especially if temporarily here so living like a tourist
[1/21, 3:05 PM] Alex From Italy: yes, I agree that Philippines is still better than other low developed countries when it comes to welcome western foreigners, but that has nothing to do with spirituality but with history and the strong influence due to the relevant presence of Americans here for decades while bringing here good money unlike other colonists which they just or mainly took advantage of the land and people here
[1/21, 3:09 PM] Alex From Italy: one thing I liked of Ladislav essay. it's that he always refer to foreigners coming from the "developed world" which isn't just USA, as I always underline that the social issue isn't a USA only thing but it's related to developed economies.
[1/21, 3:10 PM] Alex From Italy: and he somehow has mentioned that here too the poison that comes with a developing economy is taking effect on an increasing number of people in the Philippines too
[1/21, 3:14 PM] Alex From Italy: as usual the more poor the people, the more their faith on religions, faith in family, faith in relationships. the more wealthy the people the more atheist, more self centered and proud, the more likely to rely on own self autonomy
[1/21, 3:15 PM] Alex From Italy: assuming that there's no need of help from others and everyone is expendable
[1/21, 3:21 PM] Alex From Italy: at point 3 ladislav noted that something is changing here too... "in the latter times, materialism and “calculatedness” have become more common"
[1/21, 3:21 PM] Alex From Italy: guess why?
[1/21, 3:22 PM] Alex From Italy: yes, the economy development
[1/21, 3:24 PM] Alex From Italy: the singularity of the Philippines rely only on being a western oriented culture with a not yet developed economy
[1/21, 3:25 PM] Alex From Italy: so for western people coming here is like a time travel to the past which is also why old man feels younger here
[1/21, 3:26 PM] Alex From Italy: men*
[1/21, 3:27 PM] Alex From Italy: we could feel the same if we could time travel back to the past of our countries of origin
It has nothing whatsoever to do with money...Even Indian millionaires and movie stars have difficulty getting laid here in India ..check this out...Bollywood stars with money and fame ..

Bollywood Celebrities Who have been Accused of Rape

http://www.bollywoodshaadis.com/article ... -rape-3087

I'm not rich, "conspiracy theorist" generally are not into money making stuff as they have better things to do, :D ...I'm Indian...The lowest denominator where our skin, DNA does not go far, We don't have the charm of green card or European life to enchant Filipina either.

Everything is stacked against an Indian..in India and Abroad...Philippines was the only place where I felt like a MAN. There is where I felt RESPECTED.

Giving and taking Respect is the last stage of Spirituality...That is where Namaskar Came From..Its the highest form of gratitude...Highest form of Mantra and Mudra..Namaskar has all three components of Mantra, Tantra and Yantra....It just means..Resecting the soul inside you that I have it too..

Image

America like Japan and Spain destroyed Philippines...Philippines would be doing incredible before the conquest of outside forces...because..if Americans were the reason for what we see in Philippines..which would be a joke...then Winston won't be in Philippines...if he could get that back home in America.

Conquest happens due to greed, which means the conquered place must be thriving with something good that the invaders want badly to travel 10,000 miles from Europe to Philippines to conquer it....

Not only Philippines...The Entire South East Asia is far more Spiritual than India...The reason ..The largest hindu temple ever built was in South East Asia..Angkor Wat is a testimony to it....

Again..I repeat to dispel the myth that India is the land of spirituality...The largest, biggest, grandest hindu temple ever built is in Cambodia , SEA...and is far older than many temples in India and honestly, when I go to SEA..I feel more spiritual aka connected to the divine than in India.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angkor_Wat

Angkor Wat (Khmer: អង្គរវត្ត or "Capital Temple") is a temple complex in Cambodia and the largest religious monument in the world, with the site measuring 162.6 hectares (1,626,000 m2; 402 acres).[1] It was originally constructed as a Hindu temple of god Vishnu for the Khmer Empire, gradually transforming into a Buddhist temple toward the end of the 12th century.[2] It was built by the Khmer King Suryavarman II[3]

Image

SEA was a Dharma land before fake Hindu, buddha,islam, christianity took over...

In India...its so bad that even being RICH don't get you laid...All Rich people travel to Thailand to get laid.

The picture below is of Golden Tara Goddess in yogic Mudra Position found in Philippines...there are many Hindu Artifacts recovered in Philippines....but covered by false history of Vatican ..like how they destroyed all ancient cultures one by one all over the world.

Golden Tara - A Lost Relic of the Philippine Pre-Colonial History

http://buymebuddy.com/blog/view/7592/go ... al-history

Image

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by publicduende » January 23rd, 2017, 2:01 am

Until not so long ago I would have wholeheartedly embraced this romanticised view of the Filipino culture and the Filipinos. It's true that being welcomed with smiles and receiving the curiosity and date requests from underage girls is a honey trap to fall squarely in, especially for a socio-sexually-starved man from many of first world "Guantanamos of the soul".

Over time, my views have been tempered by reality. The smiles are ingrained in their culture, Filipino smile a lot and are undeniably a people of happy and optimists. They are also a happy go lucky and inconsequential people. The latter meaning that, unless disciplined by a rigorous education (e.g. the Jesuits) system or hardened by a life in a no-mistake-allowed professional environment, they will act exactly like children, not so mindful of the consequences of their acts.

Oh that naivety, which we foreigners find so adorable, especially when it gets them young women in the sack! That innate tendency to connect to what and who they don't know and can't understand with the innate sense of curiosity and trust of a small kid, is also their demise in their national struggle to become a collectively civilised society, like the Japanese and Korean, the Chinese to a lesser extent and, I hear, even the Thai.

As usual, and sorry to feel like a killjoy again, I would dismiss any hint to an inner spirituality, Starchild. Most Filipinos are pragmatic, live-by-the-day people. They haven't been chosen by God: that's what Iglesia Ni Cristo will have an obscene amount of their simpleton followers believe (while their leadership makes billions in real estate deals and flies on private jets). They are highly imperfect Catholics, who go to church on a Sunday morning and join a foursome with a couple just met on a website on the same evening. Their religious belief shapes their sense of guilt when something goes wrong, at the best, certainly not their conscious decisions. I am not blaming them as I am a sinner by any religious standard. I do not profess myself as a devout Catholic, at least.

I continue to be tied to this place, like a dog on a very elastic leash. The more I try to distance myself, the more the leash will spring and pull me back to the warm, sticky core of this society. Another round another girl, another problem with a government certificate to obtain, more drama from an employee. If I could watch all this unfold from the outside, I would enjoy a large bag or popcorn and soda with it. Unfortunately, I am so involved with my business and all the people I have to rely on, every one of their action stays with me, etched on my skin. Yes, I like their warm embrace me when embrace they do, and I feel strangled to the point of choking, when their grip becomes to tight, like one of their lethal Arnis moves, and leave me dumbfounded and wondering why and how that could have happened.

One thing I have to credit Ladislav for: for an involuntary cultural anthropologist like me, this place is booby-trapped indeed. I came here 18 months ago convinced that "I had the Philippines sorted". Turns out, there's a complex maze of catacombs under those dusty street I thought I knew so well, and could walk so confidently.

Good luck to me, you, and whoever lands in this beautiful place of excruciating human contradictions, full of human mud and the Lotus flowers that, in that mud, often blossom and thrive.

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by starchild5 » January 23rd, 2017, 6:25 am

publicduende wrote:
As usual, and sorry to feel like a killjoy again, I would dismiss any hint to an inner spirituality, Starchild. Most Filipinos are pragmatic, live-by-the-day people. They haven't been chosen by God: that's what Iglesia Ni Cristo will have an obscene amount of their simpleton followers believe (while their leadership makes billions in real estate deals and flies on private jets). They are highly imperfect Catholics, who go to church on a Sunday morning and join a foursome with a couple just met on a website on the same evening. Their religious belief shapes their sense of guilt when something goes wrong, at the best, certainly not their conscious decisions. I am not blaming them as I am a sinner by any religious standard. I do not profess myself as a devout Catholic, at least.
There was never a single word of TRUE GOD ever spoken on earth. Period. Everything that we heard, read about GOD is a gigantic LIE.

We do not understand God...... The word spirituality has become a word to make your life comfortable, happy and get what you want.....

Most People have Idea of PEACE, CALM, MEDITATION, YOGA as spirituality...Making your life comfortable, easy is not spirituality....

The idea that your life did not go well as planned by you has nothing whatsoever to do with how incredible Philippines is when it comes to spirituality.

Philippines destroys you....It kills your Ego...As I mentioned...I have never ever won in the Philippines, I failed 7 times...My Ego was crushed ...Which is the entire goal of true spirituality. You can never win in Philippines. It's amazing that you failed, your plan did not go well...because there was no God in it only our ego...

Spirituality is the battle, struggle Satan has to realize God...aka all of us...He created all of us..in his image...

Its about PURITY not Comfort, Wish & Desire.

There was never a deal, obligation by god to you that..in Philippines..You will get the girl of your dreams...Satan can definitely fulfill your desire...NOT GOD... :lol: :lol:

That's why people make deal with Satan to fulfill there dreams and desire...which we all have...God has no part in it..

You cannot make a deal with God...Satan Yes...Your prayers will never be answered. Guaranteed....as we all know how childishly we used to pray back in time and nothing gets done...Now you know why... 8) ..If your prayers ever got answered ..Its Satan... :D ...The real god ...don't want you to pray to him...that's stupid...or go to church, temple, mosque..super stupid.

The NUMBER 1 reason South East Asia is incredibly Spiritual is because of PURITY....not because of poverty, richness, women, corruption, bad people, getting your dream girl, getting laid etc etc.... its all satanic

God has no obligation to make your life wonderful...harsh but that's spirituality..Satan can make your life amazing...like how he does to hollywood celebrities.

I don't write such stuff because Satan gives you hope...because he himself is living on hope ... :roll: :roll:

which is the reason......you still sticking around in Philippines...God is a totally hopeless thing :lol: ...Satan gives you CHOICE, JUSTICE, FREEDOM, LIBERTY... :D ..NOT GOD...If you want to reach god..You will not have any Choice nor Freedom..because its ALWAYS THE RIGHT THING TO DO...When you do things right...there is no need for choice or freedom.

Our entire world is nothing but making you feel how Satan Feels ..when he is disconnected from God.

This whole charade called Society created by Satan has NO PLAN, Our Society has no meaning...except feeling miserable which he is making us feel as he does when disconnected from God....That's it.

Satan never got what he wanted..he never will...we never will......He is making us feel what he is feeling RIGHT NOW....when things don't go his way... :) :) ..It never has ..never will...
----------------------------------------

The game is reversed....America is Satanic but Satan lives in Philippines :idea: :idea:

America is his desire to create things without God and we all know...how great America was and now how trashy it is....He is trying again and again...creates Rome, Indian, Chinese civilisations and then it gets decayed and destroyed because there is no GOD IN IT......

This is the biggest secret I'm sharing with you all.

Our life has no meaning...exactly, like how Satan life has no meaning.

The truth is ....Satan really desperately wants to be with God that's why he is in The Philippines, getting some PURITY of God but his ego is stopping him from completely accepting that God is the only show in town.

Which is what is happening to all of us....Folks....God is the only thing there ever was...ever will be...
I came here 18 months ago convinced that "I had the Philippines sorted". Turns out, there's a complex maze of catacombs under those dusty street I thought I knew so well, and could walk so confidently.

Good luck to me, you, and whoever lands in this beautiful place of excruciating human contradictions, full of human mud and the Lotus flowers that, in that mud, often blossom and thrive.
Exactly...You spoke like Satan himself...He thinks he figured it all out...but nay...like I felt it when I first landed in Philippines..I thought I got this and 7 times and still I haven't figured Philippines out... :mrgreen:

My humble suggestion...Realize God in Philippines....Nothing else matters...everything else will be crushed...Philippines is the only place on earth to realize true god and kill our egos.

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by Mr S » January 23rd, 2017, 7:57 pm

Yes, the Philippines is full of booby traps for the unsuspecting Westerner and other independent ego-driven type foreigners...

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9uBy2JVcj0[/youtube]

Those with strong wills get mired down in this country either partaking in ego-driven sinful actions or they become aware of them and attempt to use this environment to begin understanding how the ego controls and manipulates them, only then do they start burning off their karma and performing the opposite virtuous side of what are considered 'sins'. I'm sorta working through lust, desire, anger, pride, jealousy, etc and probably wouldn't be able to negate these as quickly if I had continued living in the US. Experiencing the numerous temptations that PI offers the unaware and uninitiated allows one to work on eliminating the ego faster than in the USA or some other countries.

I don't necessarily think Filipinos or the Philippine islands are more spiritual than any other place, race or culture, but I do think they have created circumstances that allows seekers to see themselves for who they really are and start working on their inward spiritual journey by consistently being challenged by current external circumstances while living in the Philippines. The environment here does enable one to move through their spiritual deficiencies and straighten them out faster than in other parts of the world though. I guess you can equate it to a trial by fire, but God only directs the ones truly able to handle it and have the potential to actually change into a new person, challenging the ego for dominance and influence. Only in places like this can one lose their self in entirety, thus a new identity can be born, entirely separate from the previously dominating ego.

I don't like being or living in this country anymore in comparison to when I first came here, but I will admit I've been able to look into myself far deeper than at previous points of my life and see how warped and controlling the ego has on ones persona, without even realizing it. The less I allow it to run my life and make decisions, the more smoothly my everyday actions align with the natural course of the universe. I'm able to watch myself now, with a still mind. When I do catch the ego intruding I can observe it and realize the negative consequences it creates.

I'm just learning to go with the flow right now, we'll see what happens next...
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by starchild5 » January 24th, 2017, 4:28 am

Mr S wrote:Yes, the Philippines is full of booby traps for the unsuspecting Westerner and other independent ego-driven type foreigners...

Those with strong wills get mired down in this country either partaking in ego-driven sinful actions or they become aware of them and attempt to use this environment to begin understanding how the ego controls and manipulates them, only then do they start burning off their karma and performing the opposite virtuous side of what are considered 'sins'. I'm sorta working through lust, desire, anger, pride, jealousy, etc and probably wouldn't be able to negate these as quickly if I had continued living in the US. Experiencing the numerous temptations that PI offers the unaware and uninitiated allows one to work on eliminating the ego faster than in the USA or some other countries.

I don't necessarily think Filipinos or the Philippine islands are more spiritual than any other place, race or culture, but I do think they have created circumstances that allows seekers to see themselves for who they really are and start working on their inward spiritual journey by consistently being challenged by current external circumstances while living in the Philippines. The environment here does enable one to move through their spiritual deficiencies and straighten them out faster than in other parts of the world though. I guess you can equate it to a trial by fire, but God only directs the ones truly able to handle it and have the potential to actually change into a new person, challenging the ego for dominance and influence. Only in places like this can one lose their self in entirety, thus a new identity can be born, entirely separate from the previously dominating ego.

I don't like being or living in this country anymore in comparison to when I first came here, but I will admit I've been able to look into myself far deeper than at previous points of my life and see how warped and controlling the ego has on ones persona, without even realizing it. The less I allow it to run my life and make decisions, the more smoothly my everyday actions align with the natural course of the universe. I'm able to watch myself now, with a still mind. When I do catch the ego intruding I can observe it and realize the negative consequences it creates.

I'm just learning to go with the flow right now, we'll see what happens next...
Wow...If you don't mind..I will share this post with my friends as they are having hard time believing Philippines has any spirituality...

Believe it or not...Indians have the biggest EGO when it comes to spirituality...They cannot digest the fact that a tiny poor island across the pacific is more spiritual than India, when we always claimed to be land of spirituality and the world knows us by spirituality.

Philippines and generally South East Asia has destroyed India's EGO driven claim to be spiritual center of the world just like Vatican and Mecca...

The number 1 thing God Hates is Ego and Philippines is the best place to get your Ego Crushed...I realized this only now...after 7 trips and close to 10 years of travel to Philippines..this is how big my ego really was...I thought I figured it out ..but nothing worked in Philippines to be honest...I never got the ego driven love I was seeking...Every Idea of mine failed in Philippines but I seemed to get better after each failure...that's why I liked the place...some how things felt better even after I lost is what puzzled me... :| :| ...its like a burden been taken away...

Ego is the Final frontier to conquer..that is the final phase to realizing God...India is not designed to crush your Ego...Here the importance is to lead Big Life, Big Job, Big Salary, beautiful wife...big spiritual exercises etc

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Re: We are social refugees in the Philippines - Ladislav

Post by publicduende » January 25th, 2017, 5:18 am

Mr S wrote:Those with strong wills get mired down in this country either partaking in ego-driven sinful actions or they become aware of them and attempt to use this environment to begin understanding how the ego controls and manipulates them, only then do they start burning off their karma and performing the opposite virtuous side of what are considered 'sins'. I'm sorta working through lust, desire, anger, pride, jealousy, etc and probably wouldn't be able to negate these as quickly if I had continued living in the US. Experiencing the numerous temptations that PI offers the unaware and uninitiated allows one to work on eliminating the ego faster than in the USA or some other countries.

I don't necessarily think Filipinos or the Philippine islands are more spiritual than any other place, race or culture, but I do think they have created circumstances that allows seekers to see themselves for who they really are and start working on their inward spiritual journey by consistently being challenged by current external circumstances while living in the Philippines. The environment here does enable one to move through their spiritual deficiencies and straighten them out faster than in other parts of the world though. I guess you can equate it to a trial by fire, but God only directs the ones truly able to handle it and have the potential to actually change into a new person, challenging the ego for dominance and influence. Only in places like this can one lose their self in entirety, thus a new identity can be born, entirely separate from the previously dominating ego.

I don't like being or living in this country anymore in comparison to when I first came here, but I will admit I've been able to look into myself far deeper than at previous points of my life and see how warped and controlling the ego has on ones persona, without even realizing it. The less I allow it to run my life and make decisions, the more smoothly my everyday actions align with the natural course of the universe. I'm able to watch myself now, with a still mind. When I do catch the ego intruding I can observe it and realize the negative consequences it creates.

I'm just learning to go with the flow right now, we'll see what happens next...
What you are saying is true, but I would say it's true in any environment where we are forced to feel (and swim) like a fish out of his pond. It could be Africa, Latin America or even a different community within our own society.

I think the reason why many people say they "found themselves" in the Philippines is due to these factors at play together:

1. Time: they have little chance to have a meaningful job, so they end up with quite a lot of time in their hands...like many Filipinos, after all! This means they have time to relax and think of themselves, exchange stories & wisdom with other expats who (probably) have the same abundance of spare time.

2. Sex: there's no better balsam to the soul than being at peace with one's own senses. In less poetic words: once a man gets laid regularly and he's happy about it, his mind will be clear and able to better focus on deeper matters. Especially if the same young woman who gives them sex is also keeping the house tidy and cooking good meals 3 times a day.

3. Warm people: it's undeniable. Filipinos are some of the most simple-minded and welcoming people on the planet. Whether they do it out of pure sense of hospitality or with an agenda, it's all so beautifully entwined in one ball of sticky, smiley warmth, it's very hard for a foreigner like us not to feel happy, if not ecstatic, about it. They will talk to you till night, they will play card, introduce you to their children, etc. It's what fascinated people like MZeitola and, I am sure, Outwest and those who chose to live off the beaten track (mostly in Mindanao).

You just have to be in Manila, where families are more dissolved, pace of life is more hectic and metropolitan, and you will find exactly the same signs of social disintegration you would find in any other modern society, save some "inertia" due to the role of family and relationships. In Manila people will be less friendly, more calculating and a lot less eager to give you their time or the day (or night), precisely because they hold it more precious.

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