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Do you find it really hard being a loner?Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond It's not difficult for me being a loner in America. I'm use to it and I don't want to have to masquerade any more than I have to. I couldn't be genuine to many people in America because my views do not conform to the way the thought police want people to think. I am not brainwashed or easily swayed by others. I make my own choices and don't want anyone sabotaging them. I've also been betrayed and ignored many times by fellow Americans that I am better off being alone while I am in America, than risk another betrayal or being ignored. I never had too many good experiences. No one truly wanted to be a friend. Either a person is interested in trying to develop a friendship with me or I don't need them to be in my life.
The difference is you know (or at least believe) that you could approach those people and easily make a new friend (the occasional stolen camera and attempted mugging, notwithstanding ![]() In 'Murika, there is often the feeling that any stranger approaching you wants something or has an angle, and you pick up their apprehension. Being in a place where you think people are inclined to be friendly vs one where you think they might assault you at "hello". Media fear-pr0n doesn't help, either. не поглеждай назад.
![]() "Even an American judge is unlikely to award child support for imputed children." - FredOnEverything
It's interesting, I've only been in perhaps two relationships where I felt unhappy or not free to do as I pleased at home. The current gf never criticizes me at all, nor makes me feel insecure in any way, and the idea of us arguing seems ridiculous. I think you have some deep psychological issues when it comes to inadequacy, and that you've yet to actually date a girl that was a good fit for you. When you do, things just kind of "work" in a way is hard to describe. Been a "loner" all my life. Have always seemingly had friends wherever I am currently living though. Maybe it's the way I carry myself but I rarely have any problems striking up conversations with people, some have even seemed delighted that I actually spoke to them... maybe they are loners too heheh
The area might make a difference also. In the uptight business districts of larger cities... I get the leave me alone vibe from many, or the "I'm too busy checking my stock tickers to talk, why are you looking at me" vibe, however that's my own fault for going to these kind of places during business lunch hours lol Outside of those types of districts I generally never have a problem being alone. Most places I go out to eat in the evenings, within a week or so of going there a couple times, the staff or owners may know me by name at this point, which of course the other customers pick up on (more of a vibe thing) and have no problems joining in on chit chat, heck even made some new friends this way. I rarely go to a place looking to meet new friends though, I go because I like the food or whatever, the chit chat and befriending just happens on it's own, at least for me. Maybe the key is to not let the inner loner feelings project (you may not even realize it comes out in your body language), because in my experience this does show and gives a creepy vibe to those who are not super keen on reading body language. Short story: I was at a bar some time ago enjoying a glass of wine by myself, the bar was pretty full except for 3 empties near my end. A younger guy comes in alone and sits at the very end stool leaving one empty between us... which is of course normal bar protocol thing. His nervousness was showing quite a bit, fidgeting with his phone and overcompensating for his nervousness by talking to himself quietly a bit. Whenever the bartender spoke to him he acted as if it was a life line. I spoke to him after he finished his meal, just a simple hey it's kind of a drag in here tonight, not many chicks eh? type of thing and he seemed almost relieved someone other than the bartender acknowledged his existence. His nervousness and body language changed immediately to that of any other normal dude. Conversely however I've experienced this with groups too, regardless of gender. It depends on what they are talking about though, I have no problems butting in on a topic (or lack of one if they are just sitting around), of course this requires knowledge on it and keeping it alive until ice is fully broken lol. Most times they will keep talking to me, if not I do the nomad thing. Only once have I gotten a rude response to this type of thing to which I ask them why are they going to a social place then? lol Anyway, my opinion is to just do whatever soul searching one needs to find happiness with yourself first. If you are happy and confident in yourself, this will come across in how you carry yourself. In regards to human interaction, I've learned and experienced that if I go out looking for something I generally never find it, but if I go out not giving crap and just happy to be alive, things find me with no effort on my part other than just being myself. If all else fails visit a truck stop sometime, one can almost always find a friendly face there. Truckers have no problems striking up conversation, they desire human interaction like all of us and the truck stop is their oasis ![]()
Yeah that's really the key. If you're not comfortable with who you are, I believe those inner 'creepy' feelings manifest themselves as a creepy vibe that's impossible to mask. A few women I've dated have told me I have this invisible shield up, or that I'm like a stone. This is an impression some people give when they're not comfortable in their own skin or around others....not good. Re: Do you find it really hard being a loner?Here is a video that explains why intelligent people tend to have fewer friends.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJr226idrFg[/youtube] Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost! "It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne Re:House, why do you always have to play some superiority game to Winston or anyone else? Seriously, are you really, such a special person? In reality, Winnie was not meant for a meaningful relationship. He's way past that age, 28-38 (with a bit of a zone in that upper bracket), where a man can find a real match, for his personality type. Once a guy is beyond that range, it's not very likely that a so-called *soul mate*, is in his horizon. Instead of accepting that and then, f*cking hoes, like Bosstone, who's honest with himself, Winnie insists upon lying and believing in the omnipresence of perfect relationships. Many years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.
Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin. AB discussion thread BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect. Re:
I think the main thing that creates introverts is whether your parents respected you and treated you as your own person, or were they emotionally abusive. If the parents are cruel and cold to their own children, those children will grow up to be timid and introverted. I bet extroverts simply have parents who treated them fairly and respected them as individuals. But probably most people who are extroverted as simply narcissists and sociopaths pretending to be brave. Re:You're better off not dealing with most Americans. I don't blame people for not wanting to make friends. Most people, men and women, are backstabbers, gossipers, slanderers, and will try to ruin your friendships, employment, ability to get women, and reputation. Imagine forming a friendship with an American that turns out to be one way. You think dude is your friend but he's not. He's just friendly with you. Meanwhile, with the psychos like him that he's really friends with, he's spreading your business around and twisting it to laugh at you and make you look stupid to others. If he finds out any embarrassing details about you, or if you reveal to him a secret, he immediately goes back and tells everyone, because it's funny to him to both expose you and to see that you can do nothing about it, because you're not violent. Imagine having a friend who keeps your secrets, until he finds an opportunity to embarrass you and destroy another relationship that you have. Imagine realizing that your new friend is a jerk, and like a female dog of the species that everyone here despises so much, gets upset with you when you no longer want to be his friend. Lots of dudes I stopped being friends with after I realized they approved of murder, feminism, or who just thought they were going to be my leader instead of my friend.
Re: Do you find it really hard being a loner?As an outsider one of the first things that strike you about america, after I've never seen so many fat farks in my life, is they are all so friendly. Everyone talks to you like they are lifelong mates. But it is false. You never get past the " hi how ya doin". It seems so plastic. Australians would come second in that department. Every one is mate.
In europe and sa people are more reserved but interactions are more real. They are civil and honest. After a while, if you respect and like each other they deepen. Northern Europe and Canada are cold and reserved and they don't greet or showhatever friendliness. They are not hospitable. Sa and southern europe people are friendly and hospitable and easily take you into their homes. Americans are also hospitable and appear welcoming. But there is something different about interactions with Americans. Relations don't seem to progress beyond a shallow level. Maybe not with foreigners but only amongst themselves? Of course the above only applies if you are white. A non white person may have a totally different experience. Re: Re:Thats not true. People of all ages can find their soulmate. Mark davis is older than me yet he found his soulmate. I found a soulmate last year in china with lisa. But for some unknown reason my soulmate relationships go south or turn 180 even though i went with the flow and did nothing wrong. Maybe it was just an infatuation. If a woman truly loves you, she will not change her love for trivial reasons or spin things against you. Some guys are unlucky like that. Or their soul may repel relationships because they are freethinkers and are on a mission of spiritual growth in life and cannot be bogged down by a relationship. Maybe their own higher selves or guardian angels sabotage their relationships and believe they know whats best or because its not in alignment with their destiny. Or there may be a curse or bad karma. Hard to say. Also intellectual types tend to have the hardest time. See my video above. Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost! "It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne Re: Re:I dont think so. Its mostly social environment and how kids treat you at school. And whether you fit in or not. Also whether you are deep and intellectual. Extroverts are not more outgoing or social. They simply identify with the outside world and have no inner life. After all, if most Americans were extroverts then why do they have a cold wall and resist talking to strangers unless its for business related purposes? How come im an introvert yet i can talk to strangers easily, as long as they aren't trying to sell me something that is. Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost! "It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Re: Do you find it really hard being a loner?I don't see where Mr. Wu could have any friends at all considering his towering intellect.... Time to Hide!
Re: Do you find it really hard being a loner?Well its simple. If you are very intelligent then you make friends with others who are very intelligent. Like attracts like. Birds of the same feather flock together. Also super intelligent types can marry women who are simple and submissive and easygoing, such as filipinas, because they are easygoing and simple and the least complicated and will not create problems or trouble or argue. Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost! "It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne Re: Re:Because if you invite the wrong person in, who you know nothing about, they can ruin your life and turn it upside down quite easily. There is a reason people warn their children about strangers. That is because there are many psychopaths searching for innocent, naive people to take advantage of. At least when you meet the person through friends you can assume that this person has already been vetted by your friends, and therefore they are less likely to take you down. There are no guarantees though. I don't think people lack inner lives as much as they don't focus on the things that you focus on. You focus on certain things while they focus on others. Theirs doesn't include making new friends but how to enrich themselves in other areas of life. Once they have one part taken care of, they are moving on to other goals. Making friends with new people all the time just isn't a factor. Even as a sophomore in university we noticed this. That people who already have friends aren't seeking more. Heck, by the sixth week of the first semester as a Freshman, your friends are probably already established, and if not, you're in for tough luck the remaining years. Everyone will look at you as a loser for not having your own group to belong to and be reluctant to let you in. You might start on the fringes but only if they are forced to interact with you daily, and if you pass, you may gain entry into the group. Probably more difficult than finding a girlfriend.
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