Winston asked: Why does this forum attract so many psychos and posers?

[publicduende]

You have to talk to the guys. Inside the actual Philippines, that is. Not the ones abroad putting on a façade. Only by being there will you get an accurate view of what they are truly like..hell even choir girls in small town churches get knocked up by their own seminarians and sometimes even the priests these people are wild, man. @publicduende and other forum members who live there will back me up on that.

The very young girls who marry are in most cases already pregnant; they are shotgun marriages to keep up appearances which skews the stats. Either that or they are Muslim girls in the deep south of mindanao who are arranged

Perhaps like you, I am a bit too cynical to buy the "good traditional Filipino girl" myth anymore. Whether they want to commit to the first kanto boy they have sex with, or the first kanto boy who gets them pregnant, or the first foreigner who wants to take them over to the first world, today's Filipinas (18 to 30 years old) like sex and want to get good sex regardless of who gives it to them, and when.

[Outcast9428]

You have to talk to the guys. Inside the actual Philippines, that is. Not the ones abroad putting on a façade. Only by being there will you get an accurate view of what they are truly like..hell even choir girls in small town churches get knocked up by their own seminarians and sometimes even the priests these people are wild, man. @publicduende and other forum members who live there will back me up on that.

The very young girls who marry are in most cases already pregnant; they are shotgun marriages to keep up appearances which skews the stats. Either that or they are Muslim girls in the deep south of mindanao who are arranged

Perhaps like you, I am a bit too cynical to buy the "good traditional Filipino girl" myth anymore. Whether they want to commit to the first kanto boy they have sex with, or the first kanto boy who gets them pregnant, or the first foreigner who wants to take them over to the first world, today's Filipinas (18 to 30 years old) like sex and want to get good sex regardless of who gives it to them, and when.

To me, that is traditional.

Keep in mind, I spent four years at a university where both guys and girls would brag about having slept with 20-30 people, in one year. People didn't even have relationships at my college, it was all hookups and one night stands. I came from an environment that had a really extreme hookup culture. Even when I think back to high school, I knew a few girls who had slept with 15-20 people by the end of graduation. That's despite the fact that I live in a relatively conservative area of the US. When I go to places like Florida or NYC, it feels ridiculously degenerate compared to my home state. NYC and Florida are more like my university. In progressive areas of the US, there is no real conservative opposition to hookup culture. All the opposition to hookup culture is coming from feminist/SJW types. And its entirely directed towards men too because they see them as sexist or objectifying women. Being against women having hookups, however, is a huge no no in progressive areas. If you oppose hookup culture as a conservative at colleges or in big cities like NYC or Los Angeles, you are looked at as a radical right-wing nutjob. Its not like in a right-leaning liberal area where opposing hookups might make people think you're overly goody two shoes or something like that. At a progressive college in America, you will literally be seen as a sexist/misogynist for telling women not to hookup with random guys.

But even in my home town, most people aren't really opposed to hookup culture. Most people kind of say "oh I think we should just live and let live and not tell other people what to do." Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who are against it. I know plenty of people who are, but its not the majority of people even in the South.

So for me, an environment where the vast majority of the girls want a commitment after sex and you wouldn't expect any girl to pump and dump you already feels very traditional.

[publicduende]

To me, that is traditional.

Keep in mind, I spent four years at a university where both guys and girls would brag about having slept with 20-30 people, in one year. People didn't even have relationships at my college, it was all hookups and one night stands. I came from an environment that had a really extreme hookup culture. Even when I think back to high school, I knew a few girls who had slept with 15-20 people by the end of graduation. That's despite the fact that I live in a relatively conservative area of the US. When I go to places like Florida or NYC, it feels ridiculously degenerate compared to my home state. NYC and Florida are more like my university. In progressive areas of the US, there is no real conservative opposition to hookup culture. All the opposition to hookup culture is coming from feminist/SJW types. And its entirely directed towards men too because they see them as sexist or objectifying women. Being against women having hookups, however, is a huge no no in progressive areas. If you oppose hookup culture as a conservative at colleges or in big cities like NYC or Los Angeles, you are looked at as a radical right-wing nutjob. Its not like in a right-leaning liberal area where opposing hookups might make people think you're overly goody two shoes or something like that. At a progressive college in America, you will literally be seen as a sexist/misogynist for telling women not to hookup with random guys.

But even in my home town, most people aren't really opposed to hookup culture. Most people kind of say "oh I think we should just live and let live and not tell other people what to do." Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who are against it. I know plenty of people who are, but its not the majority of people even in the South.

So for me, an environment where the vast majority of the girls want a commitment after sex and you wouldn't expect any girl to pump and dump you already feels very traditional.

It might look traditional from the outside, because of the girl openly refusing the "one night stand", but, factually, it's almost the same thing. I did it in my first couple of years in the Philippines. Hang out with a girl met on a site, in a bar or a mall, we have sex within hours of sipping coffee, on our second date in the more extreme cases. That alone doesn't sound traditional to me. We meet for chit chat and sex (and more sex) for a few days, two or three weeks maximum. The sex is clearly decent and enjoyed by both.

Then I understand that, despite that pretty face, that slender body or that nicer-than-average rack, she is not worth committing to. She is not stupid, either, and reaches the same conclusion: I am not going to commit, not with her, at least. So she leaves with the first excuse, or I do. Never had a problem, minimal drama on all occasions. I think only once. the girl fell a little harder and bought me a cute mug with some love message. On disappearing, she didn't want to give me the mug, so she left it at the back of one of kitchen cabinets.

Now, you might think this happened to me because I was an adult foreigner and targeted only the poorest and more desperate girls. Not really true, I dated quite a few final-year college students and college graduates, "career girls" and "young businesswomen". Maybe 20% of them were the poor type - I tended to hook up with those only if they were particularly sexy (you could find quite a few C and D cups and slightly more bubblicious butts among the morenas and native-looking).

Reality is, it happens all the time between girls and local boys, too, at any age. As usual in the Philippines, saving face is of paramount importance. So long both girl and boy feel they made an "honest" (not!) attempt at a relationship, all is good, no drama, nothing to see here let's please move on.

[Outcast9428]

To me, that is traditional.

Keep in mind, I spent four years at a university where both guys and girls would brag about having slept with 20-30 people, in one year. People didn't even have relationships at my college, it was all hookups and one night stands. I came from an environment that had a really extreme hookup culture. Even when I think back to high school, I knew a few girls who had slept with 15-20 people by the end of graduation. That's despite the fact that I live in a relatively conservative area of the US. When I go to places like Florida or NYC, it feels ridiculously degenerate compared to my home state. NYC and Florida are more like my university. In progressive areas of the US, there is no real conservative opposition to hookup culture. All the opposition to hookup culture is coming from feminist/SJW types. And its entirely directed towards men too because they see them as sexist or objectifying women. Being against women having hookups, however, is a huge no no in progressive areas. If you oppose hookup culture as a conservative at colleges or in big cities like NYC or Los Angeles, you are looked at as a radical right-wing nutjob. Its not like in a right-leaning liberal area where opposing hookups might make people think you're overly goody two shoes or something like that. At a progressive college in America, you will literally be seen as a sexist/misogynist for telling women not to hookup with random guys.

But even in my home town, most people aren't really opposed to hookup culture. Most people kind of say "oh I think we should just live and let live and not tell other people what to do." Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who are against it. I know plenty of people who are, but its not the majority of people even in the South.

So for me, an environment where the vast majority of the girls want a commitment after sex and you wouldn't expect any girl to pump and dump you already feels very traditional.

It might look traditional from the outside, because of the girl openly refusing the "one night stand", but, factually, it's almost the same thing. I did it in my first couple of years in the Philippines. Hang out with a girl met on a site, in a bar or a mall, we have sex within hours of sipping coffee, on our second date in the more extreme cases. That alone doesn't sound traditional to me. We meet for chit chat and sex (and more sex) for a few days, two or three weeks maximum. The sex is clearly decent and enjoyed by both.

Then I understand that, despite that pretty face, that slender body or that nicer-than-average rack, she is not worth committing to. She is not stupid, either, and reaches the same conclusion: I am not going to commit, not with her, at least. So she leaves with the first excuse, or I do. Never had a problem, minimal drama on all occasions. I think only once. the girl fell a little harder and bought me a cute mug with some love message. On disappearing, she didn't want to give me the mug, so she left it at the back of one of kitchen cabinets.

Now, you might think this happened to me because I was an adult foreigner and targeted only the poorest and more desperate girls. Not really true, I dated quite a few final-year college students and college graduates, "career girls" and "young businesswomen". Maybe 20% of them were the poor type - I tended to hook up with those only if they were particularly sexy (you could find quite a few C and D cups and slightly more bubblicious butts among the morenas and native-looking).

Reality is, it happens all the time between girls and local boys, too, at any age. As usual in the Philippines, saving face is of paramount importance. So long both girl and boy feel they made an "honest" (not!) attempt at a relationship, all is good, no drama, nothing to see here let's please move on.

Actually it makes more sense with career girls and businesswomen. Career girls are obviously the least traditional kind of women. I don't want my wife to be ambitious in the career sense.

I think my ex girlfriend was a little bit like what you describe. She did have sex with me pretty fast, on our third date, but it didn't mean she wasn't trying to have a relationship with me. I definitely did get the impression that's how she is with guys. She doesn't hump and dump but she also doesn't really wait very long after meeting you.

The thing is though, to some extent a lot of what you are describing is still the result of people who are genetically/biologically conservative. They're just conservatives who can't wait for sex for very long. The reason I say that is because biological conservatives, psychologically, cannot distinguish between short term and long term mate value. I am definitely that way. I can't have one night stands because I already feel myself falling in love with the girl as a sheer result of having had sex.

All the men in my family are like this. Not a single man in my immediate or extended family is a playboy type. All of the men in my family are conservative "I want to be married" types. All of us are basically hopeless romantics who fall really fast and really hard for a girl. Commitment comes very easily to all of us. But I also wouldn't be surprised if all the men in my family had sex pretty fast in our relationships because we fall so head over heels for the girls we like and all the men in my family seem to have high libidos.

All of my interactions with Filipinos has showed me that they are a very romantic people. There are probably some degenerates in the Philippines but for the most part they are a very relationship oriented people. My ex girlfriend used to tell me "love is my drug. I just love to be in love." My friend who's talked to a lot of Filipina girls on dating apps says that mentality is really common among Filipina girls and its exactly what I'm looking for in a girl. Its why I fell for my ex girlfriend so ridiculously hard and why it took a half a year for me to move on from her. My ex gave me exactly what I wanted in a girl and it was really really difficult for me to let go of her.

[publicduende]

Actually it makes more sense with career girls and businesswomen. Career girls are obviously the least traditional kind of women. I don't want my wife to be ambitious in the career sense.

I think my ex girlfriend was a little bit like what you describe. She did have sex with me pretty fast, on our third date, but it didn't mean she wasn't trying to have a relationship with me. I definitely did get the impression that's how she is with guys. She doesn't hump and dump but she also doesn't really wait very long after meeting you.

The thing is though, to some extent a lot of what you are describing is still the result of people who are genetically/biologically conservative. They're just conservatives who can't wait for sex for very long. The reason I say that is because biological conservatives, psychologically, cannot distinguish between short term and long term mate value. I am definitely that way. I can't have one night stands because I already feel myself falling in love with the girl as a sheer result of having had sex.

All the men in my family are like this. Not a single man in my immediate or extended family is a playboy type. All of the men in my family are conservative "I want to be married" types. All of us are basically hopeless romantics who fall really fast and really hard for a girl. Commitment comes very easily to all of us. But I also wouldn't be surprised if all the men in my family had sex pretty fast in our relationships because we fall so head over heels for the girls we like and all the men in my family seem to have high libidos.

All of my interactions with Filipinos has showed me that they are a very romantic people. There are probably some degenerates in the Philippines but for the most part they are a very relationship oriented people. My ex girlfriend used to tell me "love is my drug. I just love to be in love." My friend who's talked to a lot of Filipina girls on dating apps says that mentality is really common among Filipina girls and its exactly what I'm looking for in a girl. Its why I fell for my ex girlfriend so ridiculously hard and why it took a half a year for me to move on from her. My ex gave me exactly what I wanted in a girl and it was really really difficult for me to let go of her.

It might be a difference in terminology but, for me, a girl who puts out on her first date with a stranger, after a Starbucks coffee and cake or a mall dinner, is not my definition of traditional. My wife C comes from an upper-class family who is traditional in the sense that C's (late) mother always kept a tight eye on her daughter's behaviour. This, on top of C having a conservative education (Opus Dei, Jesuits, etc.) where promiscuous girls were very few and immediately spotted and buried under countless negative labels.

I know I am a hypocrite because I enjoyed non-conservative girls knowing they would not be LTR, and then sought a girl I could have a LTR. I courted C for a good six months, before having sex with her. It could have perhaps been slightly less hadn't it been for the fact that I was still living in Davao at the time and she was living in Manila, so we wouldn't meet very often. Yet, I appreciated and respected her politely keeping my horniness at distance, until not she, but both of us were sure about each other.

Yes, sure, romance is something Filipinas learn from a very young age, snowed under tons of cheesy TV series and movies, every newspaper celebrating this or that couple like the ultimate expression of ideal love. Add their typical gullibility to the mix and, if you are barely able to talk your way into a girl's bed, you'll have the perfect recipe to have (almost) any young woman you want or need, in this country.

But yeah, in my book, I don't see this massive conservative attitude towards relationships and sex. In the end, does it really matter whether a girl had 10 hook-ups or 10 "boyfriends"? The end result is, she had sexual experiences with 10 boys before stumbling into her "one".

To me, Muslim girls are conservatives, those who can't or won't have any type of sex before marriage. Or even those, like in Turkey, who prefer having occasional anal sex with their bfs just so they can keep the hormones at bay while staying "technically" virgin.

[Outcast9428]

Actually it makes more sense with career girls and businesswomen. Career girls are obviously the least traditional kind of women. I don't want my wife to be ambitious in the career sense.

I think my ex girlfriend was a little bit like what you describe. She did have sex with me pretty fast, on our third date, but it didn't mean she wasn't trying to have a relationship with me. I definitely did get the impression that's how she is with guys. She doesn't hump and dump but she also doesn't really wait very long after meeting you.

The thing is though, to some extent a lot of what you are describing is still the result of people who are genetically/biologically conservative. They're just conservatives who can't wait for sex for very long. The reason I say that is because biological conservatives, psychologically, cannot distinguish between short term and long term mate value. I am definitely that way. I can't have one night stands because I already feel myself falling in love with the girl as a sheer result of having had sex.

All the men in my family are like this. Not a single man in my immediate or extended family is a playboy type. All of the men in my family are conservative "I want to be married" types. All of us are basically hopeless romantics who fall really fast and really hard for a girl. Commitment comes very easily to all of us. But I also wouldn't be surprised if all the men in my family had sex pretty fast in our relationships because we fall so head over heels for the girls we like and all the men in my family seem to have high libidos.

All of my interactions with Filipinos has showed me that they are a very romantic people. There are probably some degenerates in the Philippines but for the most part they are a very relationship oriented people. My ex girlfriend used to tell me "love is my drug. I just love to be in love." My friend who's talked to a lot of Filipina girls on dating apps says that mentality is really common among Filipina girls and its exactly what I'm looking for in a girl. Its why I fell for my ex girlfriend so ridiculously hard and why it took a half a year for me to move on from her. My ex gave me exactly what I wanted in a girl and it was really really difficult for me to let go of her.

It might be a difference in terminology but, for me, a girl who puts out on her first date with a stranger, after a Starbucks coffee and cake or a mall dinner, is not my definition of traditional. My wife C comes from an upper-class family who is traditional in the sense that C's (late) mother always kept a tight eye on her daughter's behaviour. This, on top of C having a conservative education (Opus Dei, Jesuits, etc.) where promiscuous girls were very few and immediately spotted and buried under countless negative labels.

I know I am a hypocrite because I enjoyed non-conservative girls knowing they would not be LTR, and then sought a girl I could have a LTR. I courted C for a good six months, before having sex with her. It could have perhaps been slightly less hadn't it been for the fact that I was still living in Davao at the time and she was living in Manila, so we wouldn't meet very often. Yet, I appreciated and respected her politely keeping my horniness at distance, until not she, but both of us were sure about each other.

Yes, sure, romance is something Filipinas learn from a very young age, snowed under tons of cheesy TV series and movies, every newspaper celebrating this or that couple like the ultimate expression of ideal love. Add their typical gullibility to the mix and, if you are barely able to talk your way into a girl's bed, you'll have the perfect recipe to have (almost) any young woman you want or need, in this country.

But yeah, in my book, I don't see this massive conservative attitude towards relationships and sex. In the end, does it really matter whether a girl had 10 hook-ups or 10 "boyfriends"? The end result is, she had sexual experiences with 10 boys before stumbling into her "one".

To me, Muslim girls are conservatives, those who can't or won't have any type of sex before marriage. Or even those, like in Turkey, who prefer having occasional anal sex with their bfs just so they can keep the hormones at bay while staying "technically" virgin.

Not the first date, no. Even the third date was a little fast in my opinion. But I couldn’t say no to a beautiful girl who wanted to be with me. I think I asked her to be my girlfriend earlier that day anyway so technically we were in a committed relationship.

That being said, even America in the 1950s wasn’t like Muslim girls who waited until marriage. Apparently 90% of girls in the 1950s had premarital sex and that’s despite the age of marriage being 20 on average. 25% of girls were married already by the age of 18 and even among the teenage marriages, most of them had had sex apparently.

Like I said, I just don’t think expecting a culture where people wait until marriage is really realistic unless you normalize arranged marriages again. Even my parents didn’t wait until they were married and they are, behaviorally, the most traditional people I’ve ever met. They didn’t wait until marriage but they have only ever been with each other.

For me it actually does make a big difference if a girl had sex with 10 boyfriends as opposed to had 10 one night stands. If a girl is 30 years old then 10 boyfriends is approximately one guy or less per year. It’s not ideal but it’s not a deal breaker either. If a girl was 30 and had 10 one night stands, regardless of whether she had boyfriends or not, that shows she isn’t interested in relationships and has a very weird attitude towards sex.

[publicduende]

Not the first date, no. Even the third date was a little fast in my opinion. But I couldn’t say no to a beautiful girl who wanted to be with me. I think I asked her to be my girlfriend earlier that day anyway so technically we were in a committed relationship.

That being said, even America in the 1950s wasn’t like Muslim girls who waited until marriage. Apparently 90% of girls in the 1950s had premarital sex and that’s despite the age of marriage being 20 on average. 25% of girls were married already by the age of 18 and even among the teenage marriages, most of them had had sex apparently.

Like I said, I just don’t think expecting a culture where people wait until marriage is really realistic unless you normalize arranged marriages again. Even my parents didn’t wait until they were married and they are, behaviorally, the most traditional people I’ve ever met. They didn’t wait until marriage but they have only ever been with each other.

For me it actually does make a big difference if a girl had sex with 10 boyfriends as opposed to had 10 one night stands. If a girl is 30 years old then 10 boyfriends is approximately one guy or less per year. It’s not ideal but it’s not a deal breaker either. If a girl was 30 and had 10 one night stands, regardless of whether she had boyfriends or not, that shows she isn’t interested in relationships and has a very weird attitude towards sex.

It's hard to qualify a "boyfriend" (or a "girlfriend", for a man). It may be an honest attempt to be with that guy until irreconcilable differences popped out pretty soon and spelled game over. Or it might be just good sex for a few days, or weeks, with someone she knows is a handsome piece of meat, and not much more. Or it could be a long-term relationship that ends with either, or both, cheating.

As mature men, we should be capable to see a girl as a clean slate, especially if it's important for her to move on from her past. Otherwise, unless we predicate double standards (which many of us do), we shouldn't complain when "good girls" consider us unreliable because we had one fling too many. I had quite a lot of this in the Philippines. @MarcosZeitola also said he built a bad rep pretty quickly, in his small town. I was lucky that C was from Manila and knew nothing about my shenanigans in Davao. I told her quite a lot of it and she seemed to be OK, but that was only after feelings had grown quite a bit between us.

[Outcast9428]

Not the first date, no. Even the third date was a little fast in my opinion. But I couldn’t say no to a beautiful girl who wanted to be with me. I think I asked her to be my girlfriend earlier that day anyway so technically we were in a committed relationship.

That being said, even America in the 1950s wasn’t like Muslim girls who waited until marriage. Apparently 90% of girls in the 1950s had premarital sex and that’s despite the age of marriage being 20 on average. 25% of girls were married already by the age of 18 and even among the teenage marriages, most of them had had sex apparently.

Like I said, I just don’t think expecting a culture where people wait until marriage is really realistic unless you normalize arranged marriages again. Even my parents didn’t wait until they were married and they are, behaviorally, the most traditional people I’ve ever met. They didn’t wait until marriage but they have only ever been with each other.

For me it actually does make a big difference if a girl had sex with 10 boyfriends as opposed to had 10 one night stands. If a girl is 30 years old then 10 boyfriends is approximately one guy or less per year. It’s not ideal but it’s not a deal breaker either. If a girl was 30 and had 10 one night stands, regardless of whether she had boyfriends or not, that shows she isn’t interested in relationships and has a very weird attitude towards sex.

It's hard to qualify a "boyfriend" (or a "girlfriend", for a man). It may be an honest attempt to be with that guy until irreconcilable differences popped out pretty soon and spelled game over. Or it might be just good sex for a few days, or weeks, with someone she knows is a handsome piece of meat, and not much more. Or it could be a long-term relationship that ends with either, or both, cheating.

As mature men, we should be capable to see a girl as a clean slate, especially if it's important for her to move on from her past. Otherwise, unless we predicate double standards (which many of us do), we shouldn't complain when "good girls" consider us unreliable because we had one fling too many. I had quite a lot of this in the Philippines. @MarcosZeitola also said he built a bad rep pretty quickly, in his small town. I was lucky that C was from Manila and knew nothing about my shenanigans in Davao. I told her quite a lot of it and she seemed to be OK, but that was only after feelings had grown quite a bit between us.

Well I do think this explains some of y’all’s problems over there. To some extent I get it, it’s hard to say no when pretty girls are throwing themselves at you. But it’s also true that developing a bad reputation in your area is going to mean that only the slutty girls end up going for you and you get avoided by good girl types.

[publicduende]

Well I do think this explains some of y’all’s problems over there. To some extent I get it, it’s hard to say no when pretty girls are throwing themselves at you. But it’s also true that developing a bad reputation in your area is going to mean that only the slutty girls end up going for you and you get avoided by good girl types.

It's hard to say no when your mind kind of knows you need the fair-skinned, mestizo-looking, well-educated, hot young Filipina...but your dick says that, at the end of the day, 90% of young Filipinas are eminently fuckable even if they are as thick as planks and with the face of a badly burned pizza capricciosa.

[MrMan]

I read about an African tribe where the people average sex three times a night. They believe the 'night work' is important to make babies, and they have a cultural belief that sex during pregnancy helps the baby be healthy. You could get a wife from a tribe like that, and you might be too busy for polygamy or mistresses. But I think this might have been a hunter gatherer culture, with women that looked to me to be a bit stout and homely--just my personal opinion.
...
Another issue is female 'circumcison'-- where they cut all kinds of stuff off, leaving a woman with little feeling, unless she has pain. They do this to keep them from being promiscuous. I would imagine if they turn the sensitive parts to scar tissue, that would reduce temptation, but it sounds like it would be a lot less enjoyable for them and their husbands after the virgin brides get married off.

Then MrMan made other unsolicited comments about black women's physique and anatomy in some other threads, leading me to believe this MrMan guy who claims to be in total devotion to God while using the power of prayer to attract an Indonesian virgin bride, and then shows up trolling about African women's sexual behavior and anatomy was actually an eccentric online prankster.

I really did read that about the African tribeswomen. I looked up the tribal name. I don't think they were Pygmies. I saw a picture of a stout woman. I would not say that is typical of African women's physiques. I made another post about making the mistake of watching Cardi-B's grammie presentation. I found it both lewd and off-putting because... well it was lewd, but also the bodies looked kind of middle aged stout bodies all over the place-- not even physically attractive IMO. But some guys on here like stoutness and thickness. Guys used to post and complain about landwhales, and how the medial is pushing that, trying to brainwash the guys. Now there are men posting about liking thick women. But it's all personal taste. I don't want to encourage men to look at women with lust. But if someone's body is kind of fat and unappealing, it's all the more reason, in my opinion, to cover it up.... aesthetic reasons in addition to the moral and ethical ones. Since aesthetics are subjective, people disagree.

But like I said, I no longer think that, and now I'm betting MrMan is one of many interesting actual personalities on Happier Abroad.
Also, not long after that @Tsar was another one opening my eyes to how many actually really want to marry a virgin, and apparently that's quite common. (Another guy who knows the "manosphere" better than me says he's constantly hearing from guys with the same ambition.)

Many of us Christians believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Imagine if you were a single man, like me, who had abstained from sex before marriage. You read in the Old Testament about marrying virgins, etc. Would you want to marry a woman who had slept around? It's not all that uncommon for Christian men who are serious about things like this to at least prefer to marry a virgin.

What I don't get is hearing that some men who want to marry ___ do not want___ to marry a virgin, like that's a negative.. It's hard for me to wrap my head around that. I'm guessing they haven't read research that showed that the woman having had sex with multiple partners greatly increases the chances of the marriage having trouble or ending in divorce. I believe the sleeping around causes spiritual problems, but can also cause emotional damage. Plus, she has become 'one flesh' with someone else.

I still wouldn't want to get involved with a virgin, personally. How's she supposed to know I'm the best in the sack if she's never even had any other men before?

When they are in that state, their rationale mind might not even kick in enough to think about those words. But I wouldn't want a woman who'd been defiled by another man-- had some other guy's junk in her for a sinful tryst-- had his fluids in there where I am. Especially lots of men. Why would any man want that? And would you want to be with a woman who comes across a man at the grocery store, and he'd slept with her? Or if she meets your boss, and she'd slept with him.... Or worse, your brother or your dad. These days... maybe slept with someone's mom. that would be awful.

[WilliamSmith]

Many of us Christians believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Imagine if you were a single man, like me, who had abstained from sex before marriage. You read in the Old Testament about marrying virgins, etc. Would you want to marry a woman who had slept around? It's not all that uncommon for Christian men who are serious about things like this to at least prefer to marry a virgin.

@MrMan
Yeah, I hear you on the religious aspect of the thing, it's just that I'm personally not religious, so from my POV don't really think there's anything that bad about otherwise-healthy young people who have had sex for fun a lot (but I'm not trying to force religious folk from doing their way differently).
I am also suspicious of the motivations behind the priestcrafts of some of those religions in demonizing sexuality on purpose as some kind of a mechanism of control over subjugated populations, but regardless of the priestcraft angle, them having done that leads to some seriously unhealthy attitudes that some religious men have toward women, though you and @Outcast9428 are a breath of fresh air in that direction since all agree on the importance of keeping your tradwives sexually satisfied, and then some.

What I don't get is hearing that some men who want to marry ___ do not want___ to marry a virgin, like that's a negative.. It's hard for me to wrap my head around that. I'm guessing they haven't read research that showed that the woman having had sex with multiple partners greatly increases the chances of the marriage having trouble or ending in divorce. I believe the sleeping around causes spiritual problems, but can also cause emotional damage. Plus, she has become 'one flesh' with someone else.

Just for the record I wasn't actually trying to say it was a negative for others to marry a virgin as long as it's just some nice young woman (and not some of the weird shit some of the more twisted trapdills fantasize about like getting an underaged teen bride and isolating her in a bunker or something and not letting her use a phone or all that kind of stuff, but I know that's not what you were ever doing, so good for you).

I only meant me personally saying I wouldn't want to marry a virgin myself. I didn't mean there's anything wrong with a girl for being a virgin, it just weirds me out. I've hit the books to learn a lot about adult female anatomy and am very into it, but when it comes to virgins, boy do I NOT want to be the one to penetrate that mucosal tissue membrane (hymen) that causes virgin girls pain and bleeding when the poor creatures are being broken in the first time.

Though most girls who are virgins probably still masturbate so much having fantasies about some swashbuckling heart-throb that they've probably already get their own out of the way and penetrated it themselves... but I still don't wanna.
But that's good news because it's not like tradpill types and religious gents want woman-a-holics like me competing with them for the limited stock of virgins.

William smith wrote:
I still wouldn't want to get involved with a virgin, personally. How's she supposed to know I'm the best in the sack if she's never even had any other men before?

When they are in that state, their rationale mind might not even kick in enough to think about those words. But I wouldn't want a woman who'd been defiled by another man-- had some other guy's junk in her for a sinful tryst-- had his fluids in there where I am. Especially lots of men. Why would any man want that? And would you want to be with a woman who comes across a man at the grocery store, and he'd slept with her? Or if she meets your boss, and she'd slept with him.... Or worse, your brother or your dad. These days... maybe slept with someone's mom. that would be awful.

Well for one thing I was just being a goof and partly joking around when I said that, though admittedly with some grain of truth as well about preferring the women to have experienced some more typical duds before me earlier in her life (not to embarrass the other guys at all since I don't like any of that crap trying to embarrass or belittle other men by having them find out she thought I was better, but just so I could enjoy the benefits of her privately thinking I was the greatest guy ever for being better in the sack).

The "sinful tryst" part makes it sound like your wife stepping out on you, which would be bad if you're married (and I agree married people of both genders shouldn't do that to each other because they're breaking faith with what they claimed they were going into together), but otherwise it just comes down to the particulars.
As long as she isn't cheating on some other guys, I don't really give a damn if a woman is a sex maniac like me, as long as she just likes it and isn't mean or messed up in the head.
It's also fine by me if I can have 2-3+ girlfriends including serious ones and some (or all) of them don't want any other men but me (hey that's even better!), but I'm not one of the retro types who has an "I can do it but you can't rule" and is preoccupied with trying to control women and try to get them to do whatever I say. *shrugs*

[MrMan]

I only meant me personally saying I wouldn't want to marry a virgin myself. I didn't mean there's anything wrong with a girl for being a virgin, it just weirds me out. I've hit the books to learn a lot about adult female anatomy and am very into it, but when it comes to virgins, boy do I NOT want to be the one to penetrate that mucosal tissue membrane (hymen) that causes virgin girls pain and bleeding when the poor creatures are being broken in the first time.

A man who has committed to be with that woman for life with likely be more gentle and careful doing this than some stranger she meets at a bar. It make take her a little while to get physically used to the deed, but then the couple get to enjoy the excitement and newness of it all together.

Also, the idea of venturing where some other dudes fluids have been.... or still are... is a lot more disgusting, IMO, than penetrating the membrane.

[WilliamSmith]

I only meant me personally saying I wouldn't want to marry a virgin myself. I didn't mean there's anything wrong with a girl for being a virgin, it just weirds me out. I've hit the books to learn a lot about adult female anatomy and am very into it, but when it comes to virgins, boy do I NOT want to be the one to penetrate that mucosal tissue membrane (hymen) that causes virgin girls pain and bleeding when the poor creatures are being broken in the first time.

A man who has committed to be with that woman for life with likely be more gentle and careful doing this than some stranger she meets at a bar. It make take her a little while to get physically used to the deed, but then the couple get to enjoy the excitement and newness of it all together.

Also, the idea of venturing where some other dudes fluids have been.... or still are... is a lot more disgusting, IMO, than penetrating the membrane.

To each their own.
I never said I was open to "sloppy seconds" like you just described though, just that I'd prefer women not be virgins.

[Lucas88]

Also, the idea of venturing where some other dudes fluids have been.... or still are... is a lot more disgusting, IMO, than penetrating the membrane.

I'm pretty sure that most women take care of their own hygiene and clean their pvssies regularly. What you mention shouldn't be an issue. I wouldn't find it that gross to sleep with a non-virgin. Indeed, after a certain age, it is very difficult to find girls who are still virgins and so even if a guy wanted to avoid non-virgin girls due to some kind of personal disgust such an approach would be wholly impractical.

I am more concerned about what I call "energetic hygiene". I find a lot of people quite repulsive due to their lifestyle choices and their overall vibe. I really don't like women who drink a lot or do drugs or who have loads of trashy tattoos and a vulgar style of dress and behavior. Such women have bad energy and I prefer to avoid them. For me a girl's energy or way of being is much more important than whether she's a virgin. I am only attracted to girls with purer energy who don't have trashy tattoos, don't drink a lot or do drugs, dress in a classy manner, and have good healthy interests.

[Outcast9428]

Also, the idea of venturing where some other dudes fluids have been.... or still are... is a lot more disgusting, IMO, than penetrating the membrane.

I'm pretty sure that most women take care of their own hygiene and clean their pvssies regularly. What you mention shouldn't be an issue. I wouldn't find it that gross to sleep with a non-virgin. Indeed, after a certain age, it is very difficult to find girls who are still virgins and so even if a guy wanted to avoid non-virgin girls due to some kind of personal disgust such an approach would be wholly impractical.

I am more concerned about what I call "energetic hygiene". I find a lot of people quite repulsive due to their lifestyle choices and their overall vibe. I really don't like women who drink a lot or do drugs or who have loads of trashy tattoos and a vulgar style of dress and behavior. Such women have bad energy and I prefer to avoid them. For me a girl's energy or way of being is much more important than whether she's a virgin. I am only attracted to girls with purer energy who don't have trashy tattoos, don't drink a lot or do drugs, dress in a classy manner, and have good healthy interests.

I’m pretty similar in a lot of ways. I hate tattoos. I don’t want a girl with any tattoos. I hate weird fetishes so I avoid any girl who has them. I also don’t want to date a girl who has a history of hookups and one night stands. If she had sex with long term boyfriends that’s okay with me but one night stands are unacceptable.