Winston wrote:Some new observations I have after being in America again. Here is a catch 22 I just realized.
In America, the flow of life and the environment seems to revolve around the following consistent core norms:
1. Working or getting a job. This is considered the most important thing.
2. Shopping and consuming, since everything around you in civilization is commercialized.
3. Enjoying the privacy of your own home with your family, or alone.
4. You are not supposed to talk to strangers unless it's business related (e.g. talking to customer service). Neighbors may wave and say hello, but that's all.
The thing is, NONE of this is conducive to making friends, meeting people, or getting dates at all. It seems that virtually everything is built around the ASSUMPTION that you ALREADY have a partner/wife/girlfriend and that you ALREADY have a circle of friends to hang out with, and that these things are not an issue.
Have you ever noticed that? The catch 22 is this: If you don't already have a partner and a close circle of friends, then there's really no way to get one, at least not naturally and simply. In that case, you are screwed and you've hit a wall, because NONE of these cornerstones of American life above are conducive at all to GETTING a girlfriend or meeting girls! I mean, you can't just go out and "get one". You can't just go out and pick up a girl, ask for a date, or even chat up a girl, without looking like a creep or predator who is violating women's right to be left alone. As you know, you are only supposed to talk to strangers in America if it's business related (such as talking to someone in customer service). That's what everyone else does, so it must be the norm right?
Yes, in the US, it's ASSUMED that you already have a girlfriend or wife and have friends to hang out with. I don't why this assumption exists but it does. Also, talking to women when you are out in public is considered "creepy" and "weird."
Winston wrote:Is that f***ed up or what? lol. It's ridiculous how the movies make it look so easy to get dates or make friends, but in reality, the primary pillars of American life outlined above are totally NOT conducive to that at all! Doesn't that totally suck?
So what I don't get is: How does society expect you to make friends and find love? It's kind of weird isn't it? Am I missing something here?
Also, how do couples who divorce or break up start dating other people again, as if it were a normal and easy thing to do, in spite of the above? How do "normal people" get around this? Am I missing something?
Or could it be that we are just abnormal in that we aren't square like everyone else who is raising a family in the suburbs, has a stable job, and isn't asking any of these type of questions that I am here? I mean, if we were "normal" and had a home in the suburbs, a family to raise, and a normal job to go to, we wouldn't be on here talking about all this stuff right?
Does that make us weird losers or what? How come society or the media doesn't address this catch-22 I describe above? Do you ever wonder about that?
What do you all think? Am I missing something here? Is there a flaw in my linear logic here?
It seems like in the USA, you need to make your friends early in life (in grade school, high school and college). Once you are out of school, it becomes very difficult to meet people.
In the United States, work is considered the most important thing in your life. Work alcoholism is considered a good thing and is actually encouraged by American society. Making friends and having a social life is not considered to be an important thing in the US.
If you do want to meet women when you are out of school, you really have to rely on your friends to introduce you to someone. Trying to meet women on your own, is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."