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Are loners more sane and authentic than popular people?

Discuss deep philosophical topics and questions.

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odbo
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Joined: January 6th, 2011, 5:40 am

Post by odbo »

Winston wrote:Among my relatives and family friends are girls who used to like and played with me when they were little. They were so friendly, like people are on TV, and wanted me to play toys with them.

But when they reached around 13, all of a sudden they thought they were too cool for me and ignored me and never spoke a word to me when they saw me. It was so sad and I feel hurt when I think about how cold they suddenly became just cause they grew up.
I remember noticing this phenomenon when I entered junior high school. Girls started gossiping and acting like bitches because they figured that was part of being an adult and what they were supposed to be doing. Like a virus all the girls were consumed. Because those that stay natural and happy are perceived as immature. It's truly evil how they decide what's 'cool' and use peer-pressure to consume the souls of these poor kids. Being kind, being smart is never cool. Being cool is having not having any empathy. Following trends (being a conformist) is also cool. Later in life things like getting drunk (killing your braincells with booze) is cool. Caring, being spiritual, or especially thinking is very uncool.

TV shows like 90210 have a huge affect on girls. Monkey see, monkey do. I know for a fact that these shows are what convinced the girls I went to elementary school with to turn into bitches the moment they entered junior high. Women are much more easily manipulated than men, and they are barely capable of logic (lack of testosterone).

I'm not saying girls are the only idiots, they just share a bigger portion of the blame. Of course males are easily manipulated as well while they are children, but perhaps they are more grounded and don't let outside mentalities impede their quality of life as much. Boys start acting like the thugs they see on tv, and other nonsense, but past the tough guy act they're still the same. They know how to have fun. They don't lose their soul because someone sold them the idea that turning into a bitch is better. Being unhappy is certainly not better.

This is all enabled largely because western/Anglo society views anything that comes from a child as basically worthless. It's like a non-age, preparation for when life really starts.. children are incomplete and until they are complete, they are irrelevant. Until you're grown up, your opinions don't count, sort of thing. So the youths are always trying to pretend they're grown up, and their innocence is needlessly cut short. When children reach middle school/junior high, they often start acting like big shots because they're insecure of being young in a society that doesn't respect their intellect (but at the same time spends tons of money entertaining and educating them)..

How do the elites mold society? One of the social norms they engineered is that for a man to have success with women, he had to serve in the army. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? 12 year old girls should love boys, and naturally 12 year old boys will love getting close to girls. But people only enjoy that sort of adolescence in a natural environment. That would make people too happy, and not give them any motivation to get laid when they're older (18-20). In previous decades people were overly conservative and that kept boys from getting some action in bed. Imagine if a girl is not allowed to hang around boys until she's 18, and by that time she would probably prefer a 'manly' guy who served in the army, or works full-time. Conservative girls who are shy and care about preserving themselves are simply non-existent now. Thankfully media brainwash (written overwhelmingly by homosexual jews) came in to save the day. They tell girls how to be dysfunctional and annoy the f**k out of boys.

I will never accept that what I saw when I was 12 was a natural order. This is what user "theyoungagegroup" was talking about when he mentioned missing out by not growing up in 1990s Ukraine. Something tells me girls didn't get their views of boys and how to act around them from television shows there (and hopefully still don't).

Twobrains
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Post by Twobrains »

This is one of the most interesting threads on the site, with some great insights, personal accounts, and links. I'm not sure what I can add, except my take on my status as a loner:

For me, it's primarily about control - avoiding being controlled by others and having the freedom to think and act for myself. I dislike the 'hive mind' nature of groups, big or small. In terms of intelligence, the sum is certainly not greater than the constituent parts when we consider the stupid, illogical, unwise and often savage things that groups can do. (It's not all negative - groups can create things of beauty, too, like a choir.) I can handle group activities, and given time I'm often seen as something of a leader figure, in fact, but I always come away feeling that I somehow compromised myself, wasn't authentic, let myself down. But I must also confess that I often feel superior to others - more intelligent, perceptive, honest or trustworthy. There are very few people out there who can genuinely hold my rapt attention and respect. Even with most of my good friends, who I've known for decades, I get a bit bored after a few hours in their company (and they with me, probably). Then I feel bad about being uncharitable and judgemental - how can I call someone else boring if I haven't given them my full attention, tried to hear the subtext of what they were saying, made a strong effort to really experience them? Am I not just as bad as the shallow attention-junkies, dismissing people because they don't press all their pleasure buttons within the first few minutes of meeting?

I used to be in a long-term relationship, for over a decade, but I found my ex's natural, female inclination towards sociability and conformity was strongly at odds with my severe individualism. I can't see how I'll ever square that circle, and I imagine my remaining love life will be a series of short, conflictual trysts. All women try to confine and tame their man (understandable - he's their security), but I won't be tamed!

Well ... all of this tends to go round in loops in my mind. At least I no longer feel bad about being a loner - I used to beat myself up about that as a kid. I'm much more at peace, now, but I still get the nagging feeling sometimes that there's a big party going on that I wasn't invited to. Then I remember that most of the parties that I have been to were crap.

There are precious few independent thinkers out there, and I'm glad to have found some on this site. Keep ploughing that lonely furrow, guys.

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jamesbond
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Post by jamesbond »

Winston wrote:Question: I've lived in Russia and the Philippines for a long time. How come there aren't any real loners there? Have you all noticed that? It's mostly the US, Canada, and maybe the UK where you find loners.

It seems that the more fake a society is, the more loners there are who withdraw from others. But the more genuine a social culture is, the less loners there are.

If you go to passionate open inclusive cultures, you will not find loners. Examples - Russia, Ukraine, Latin America, Philippines, Holland, Spain, etc.

People act more authentic without fake smiles and act the way they feel.

Take a look at this comparison chart I created. If you were in a social culture with the features of the right column, would you need to be a loner?

http://www.happierabroad.com/comparison.htm
I have heard other guys who have lived in eastern Europe, South America and the Philippines say the same thing. The loneliness epidemic seems to be in english speaking countries. People in non-english speaking countries tend to be more down to earth and real.

In countries where people are authentic and genuine are the easiest countries to make friends in. Countries that have a fake and anti-social culture are the most difficult countries to try and fit in and make friends with people.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."

Empyrian
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Post by Empyrian »

I don't think I would have been a loner most of my life if I was born into a healthier culture. I couldn't do what others did, and I was burned and not rewarded for my sincerity and gentleness. My natural preference to dream and think and contemplate- and be quiet to listen and learn- was laughed at and undervalued. The people who just "yelled" things over and over again, shamelessly promoting themselves and listening only to the sound of their own voice- got the rewards.

Now, I've become very cynical, but I know it isn't like this everywhere. I would never think about raising children in this country.
Abolish fear; abolish doubt; dismiss pride.

Twobrains
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Post by Twobrains »

Empyrian wrote:I don't think I would have been a loner most of my life if I was born into a healthier culture. I couldn't do what others did, and I was burned and not rewarded for my sincerity and gentleness. My natural preference to dream and think and contemplate- and be quiet to listen and learn- was laughed at and undervalued. The people who just "yelled" things over and over again, shamelessly promoting themselves and listening only to the sound of their own voice- got the rewards.
So true!

chaste_filipina
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Re: Is being friendly in American high school worthless?

Post by chaste_filipina »

Winston wrote:Did any of you find high school to be a bizarro world? I mean, I think I must have been the friendliest, most open person in high school, yet I could not make any real friends or be accepted by any clique. It was weird cause you'd think that logic and common sense would say that if you were friendly and open, then you'd have friends right?

But high school was nothing like that. Instead, everyone seemed so fake, hostile and dumb, and if I wasn't fake, hostile and dumb too, then I was spat upon. I had no idea how to handle that. It all seemed illogical. No formula was given to me for coping with it either. So I kept wondering what was wrong with me to no avail.

Any of you experience that in high school too?

Plus the cliques were closed, pretentious and exclusive, so being friendly had no value in getting accepted by any of the cliques. What's the point of being friendly if the cliques are stuck up and closed and don't accept you?

I had no idea what to do. Isn't it weird how you can be very friendly and open, yet have no friends? In America it's definitely possible.

But then again, I grew up in California, the shallow fake capital of the world.

I still resent that I never felt accepted in high school or had any fun or dates, even to this day, even though the 1980's are long gone. TV was my only escape from that bizarro world. Everyday I felt so insecure, lonely and miserable, and I had no idea what to do about it. My great logic could never find any solution either.

Oddly, I felt no freedom in high school, even though American culture said that I was free. Go figure.

I am all for happiness, but most people in the US have this "fake happiness" that is more like denial and shallowness than anything else. True happiness comes from liberating your mind and enduring suffering. All great religions teach this.

I try to be optimistic, but not so optimistic that I become fake either.

It's funny that no one considers themselves fake, just as no one considers themselves to be the bad guy either. lol. Not even the fakest person thinks they are fake. That's how deluded they are. lol

Another question: On TV people seem so friendly, open, communicative and expressive. So how come the general population isn't like that, even though many people watch a lot of TV? Why don't average people emulate how friendly people are on TV, whom they are exposed to everyday?
Hahaha! In high school, me and my bestfriend were considered to be an "outcast." I danced with exultation! :P
But did I cry when my classmates ostracized me and my bestfriend?
No! I stood up and defended myself fiercely! I always assert myself when I know that I am "right".
Most of the times, you need to accept that people are not understanding.
It has to be you who understands them.
In high school, my classmates were masters in orchestrated bullying. One of my free-thinker classmate has been brutally murdered by my classmates through public humiliation.
I chose to shut up and just give them this sincere smile. Of course, I was not smiling because I was happy by what they're doing to my poor classmate. I was smiling because their foolishness will end up in Guidance where all of my classmates' parents were called for such an uncouth behavior.

When someone is making fun of you or humiliating you, give them a sincere smile.
Pray for their desolate souls. You smile because you pity their shallow existence.

"To be great is to be misunderstood."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Winston
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Re: Are loners more sane and authentic than popular people?

Post by Winston »

People Who Like To Be Alone Have These 12 Special Personality Traits

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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

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