leavingusa wrote:
It's worse than that. If there is one thing that's off about you, you are f***ed. Also some of us are over 25-30 and at that point, things go downhill fast. There's just no single girls.
If you are talking to a girl and you say something that's a little boring she will just walk away from you or say she has to go. Women are usually attracted to me initially so I see this a lot, when I say I'm in IT they instantly lose interest.
If you are not running with a large crowd then you will have a hard time meeting girls and if you do not like football, drinking, and shit like that you are a freak and and outcast. Sure there are emos and other groups but you have to fit in somewhere or you are done. A lot of it boils down to having any individuality at all, get rid of it.
Speaking from personal experience, social life in the US was easy back in college when you saw the same classmates every week. However, once you graduate and go into the workforce, suddenly it's like being dumped into an ocean without a life jacket. This is an uphill climb that you must overcome, or else you'll end up at the bottom of the hill.
There was a time when I struggled socially post-college. I was fortunate to have a job (back in late 90's) that sent me abroad to East Asia on short assignments. Besides meeting girls in SG, I was able to travel across Japan-Taiwan-SG-MY. When I came back, I had lots of interesting stories from my trips. At my current workplace, my VP was previously a missionary to Russia, and the QA manager was a missionary to Thailand. They have plenty of interesting stories from their experiences too.
Like you, I worked in IT. I was a sys admin and, in the days before WebEx, my work sent me abroad to Asia offices to teach the local staff how to use IBM Tivoli, Crystal Reports, etc. There are right ways to talk about your work to a girl, and there are wrong ways depending on the target audience. When I discuss my current work in a social setting, I talk about the nerf gun battles and the guy who looks like a gnome. I don't talk about the finer points of agile software development process.
If you find yourself short on interesting topics to talk about in social settings, then you need to go out and get some interesting experiences so you can talk about them. Instead of "alcohol", you should go visit some wineries, and perhaps take wine appreciation classes at your local culinary institute. So instead of going to a bar and try to buy a drink for some chic, you should take girls for a day trip (or weekend trip) to the local winery for wine tasting.
You can impress the ladies by baking your own baked brie cheese bread (very easy to make) to go with the wine, in addition to the fruits and crackers. Instead of spending your time to think about all the reasons why you cannot succeed socially, you should invest that time in going out to experience the world, and acquire the things that would make girls think you're interesting to be with. The same applies when you go abroad, girls overseas are curious about your life in the US, and if you only have shitty things to say about it, then that's a turn-off.
There's nothing wrong being 30 years old. I dated a number of girls in my 30's from North America to Asia. The youngest girl that I dated (not a GF) in terms of age gap was 15 years younger than me, and the girlfriend with the largest age gap was 12 years younger. What you do not wan to be is a boring 30+ year old dude that girls find uninteresting to be with. And if you think sociable topics are limited to football and drinking, then you really need to get out more.
