A Filipino's perspective on "Happier Abroad".

[Johnny1975]

Ginger,

As I clearly said, it makes no difference to me whether the OP is genuine, or if he's a troll. My point is that you have to assume nothing. You have to be discerning. Whether or not he's sincere, I've heard on more than one occasion that in your culture, lying isn't taken as seriously as it is elsewhere. Is there truth to that? Right now, I don't know, but I'm not prepared to assume that it is not (or that it is). I assume nothing. I go where the evidence (including anecdotal stuff that I read on more than one occasion) takes me. I would have to be a major fool to hear a few good things and then assume that all is as it seems.

At no point did I label you, Ginger, as a smartass, and unless you just skimmed through my post without paying attention, you know that without me having to point it out. I made no reference to you whatsoever other than the fact that you're being very cynical about the OP. But that's an entirely different point. However, after reading this last post of yours do I now think you're a smartass? Yes. But this is a new post.

Attack the OP all you want. Suspect them of being a troll all day long if you like. But what matters to me is that what he says has been said before, and for me that means red flag. Red flag about your culture. I hope I'm wrong, but I assume nothing, and if it doesn't apply to you, you have no reason to be defensive.

When something seems to good to be true, you have to be skeptical. It's as simple as that. It's common sense.

[Rock]

Kaya, ano ang sabi nya? Pilipino ba sya o kaya nagkukunwari lang?

Siguro naman gets mo ibig ko sabihin kuya? Sana umayos ka kesa naman magpanggap eh halata naman hindi trulaloo. Sige nga, inglisin mo to ng bonggang bonga kung keribels mo. Baka maniwala ako kung kaya mo gawin yun para sa mga pangungusap na ito.

You should probably understand what I am trying to say bro. You'd better get real instead of assuming. It is obvious ...it/you not fake/gay. Go ahead translate it into eloquent English if you are capable of it. Maybe I will believe you if you can do it with these sentences.

You shouldn't have done that.

Now it's all gonna be nonsense and he can go on with his pretenses. Really Lad, ang epal huh! GRRRRR

Well perhaps there are certain things he can say (even in English) that only a Pinoy would know. Maybe he could describe his background and then say something very specific to the area and class he is from. At very minimum, he could prove that he's spent many years in a certain area there. OTH, if he's just Globetrotter or some troll from the west, he won't have a clue. In Globe's case, he's been in China for years and still believes most people there are only able to communicate in their own dialects.

[Ginger]

Ginger,

As I clearly said, it makes no difference to me whether the OP is genuine, or if he's a troll. My point is that you have to assume nothing. You have to be discerning. Whether or not he's sincere, I've heard on more than one occasion that in your culture, lying isn't taken as seriously as it is elsewhere. Is there truth to that? Right now, I don't know, but I'm not prepared to assume that it is not (or that it is). I assume nothing. I go where the evidence (including anecdotal stuff that I read on more than one occasion) takes me. I would have to be a major fool to hear a few good things and then assume that all is as it seems.

At no point did I label you, Ginger, as a smartass, and unless you just skimmed through my post without paying attention, you know that without me having to point it out. I made no reference to you whatsoever other than the fact that you're being very cynical about the OP. But that's an entirely different point. However, after reading this last post of yours do I now think you're a smartass? Yes. But this is a new post.

Attack the OP all you want. Suspect them of being a troll all day long if you like. But what matters to me is that what he says has been said before, and for me that means red flag. Red flag about your culture. I hope I'm wrong, but I assume nothing, and if it doesn't apply to you, you have no reason to be defensive.

When something seems to good to be true, you have to be skeptical. It's as simple as that. It's common sense.

Okay, go believe it's 95% bad eggs out there then. Good luck.

I said the smartass label thing because it's predictable you are gonna say it on your reply (and boy! was I right!).

Lying is common to all bad people of all culture, in some areas and subcultures in here it is an accepted norm (same applies everywhere else). If you are gonna give out girls at dating sites as examples, then I agree most of them are scammers, the good ones are very very very rare on dating sites. In fact, in some parts of the Philippines, just talking to a foreign guy = hoeing and the stigma is to the max, so please before listening to what you heard from guys who probably are talking of p4p girls and what you 'discern' for yourself on dating sites, spend some time with the real people so you can see for yourself (but you already countered doing that as being 'clouded' in perception).

Also, please listen to yourself before saying I was merely 'skimming'.

Do read what other forumers have said before singling me out. At least listen to the guys who have spent time here

Good luck with forming more 'discernments' from the convenience of your computer screen.

[Ginger]

Kaya, ano ang sabi nya? Pilipino ba sya o kaya nagkukunwari lang?

Siguro naman gets mo ibig ko sabihin kuya? Sana umayos ka kesa naman magpanggap eh halata naman hindi trulaloo. Sige nga, inglisin mo to ng bonggang bonga kung keribels mo. Baka maniwala ako kung kaya mo gawin yun para sa mga pangungusap na ito.

You should probably understand what I am trying to say bro. You'd better get real instead of assuming. It is obvious ...it/you not fake/gay. Go ahead translate it into eloquent English if you are capable of it. Maybe I will believe you if you can do it with these sentences.

You shouldn't have done that.

Now it's all gonna be nonsense and he can go on with his pretenses. Really Lad, ang epal huh! GRRRRR

Well perhaps there are certain things he can say (even in English) that only a Pinoy would know. Maybe he could describe his background and then say something very specific to the area and class he is from. At very minimum, he could prove that he's spent many years in a certain area there. OTH, if he's just Globetrotter or some troll from the west, he won't have a clue. In Globe's case, he's been in China for years and still believes most people there are only able to communicate in their own dialects.

So far the OP is a one post wonder.

I'll doubt unless proven genuine pinoy in this case, also his percentages re bad pinays is waaaaaaay off. He even said AWs are generally more genuine and less materialistic, I really doubt that is true.

[Johnny1975]

Ginger, I don't rely on luck, I go where the evidence takes me, like I said.

As you well know, I never said that it's 95% bad. You're not even making the slightest effort to hide the fact that you're deliberately putting words into my mouth. You made your smartass comment because you thought I was talking about you. You were incorrect, but ironically you also showed yourself to be one, hence my correct observation that actually, yes, you too are one. I didn't think it before, but now I do. It's very prophetic how it all worked out.

As long as I keep hearing that there is a strong culture of lying and scamming among filipinas, I have no choice but to take it seriously and look into it. It makes no difference to me how defensive that makes you feel. There's a strong culture of narcissism and materialism among western females, and they too rightly deserve to be scrutinized ruthlessly. No one gets a free pass with me. No one is assumed to be squeaky clean, and all anecdotal reports of dodgy behaviour will be looked into.

[mguy]

The Filipina game is so tight that it gives the illusion that she loves you for who you are.

Guys, try not to fall into the trap. I have counseled too many friends that fell for the Filipina. She will wreck you. Remember that there is no free lunch!

BTW, this OP is not me! haha! Also, I'm done with giving info on Philippines/Filipinas -- do what you want. I got some traveling to do. I realized my cause is more for Asian American guys than it is for hooking up in Philippines!

Good luck everyone!

[Ginger]

Ginger, I don't rely on luck, I go where the evidence takes me, like I said.

As you well know, I never said that it's 95% bad. You're not even making the slightest effort to hide the fact that you're deliberately putting words into my mouth. You made your smartass comment because you thought I was talking about you. You were incorrect, but ironically you also showed yourself to be one, hence my correct observation that actually, yes, you too are one. I didn't think it before, but now I do. It's very prophetic how it all worked out.

Dude, your freudian slip is too obvious, also I was referring to your agreeing(?) of OP's claims.

As long as I keep hearing that there is a strong culture of lying and scamming among filipinas, I have no choice but to take it seriously and look into it. It makes no difference to me how defensive that makes you feel. There's a strong culture of narcissism and materialism among western females, and they too rightly deserve to be scrutinized ruthlessly. No one gets a free pass with me. No one is assumed to be squeaky clean, and all anecdotal reports of dodgy behaviour will be looked into.

Okay scrutinize everyone mister, make sure no one will ever get a free pass at anything okay.

I still do not see why you are singling me out as if I'm the only person who doubted the OP's authenticity as a pinoy moreso the validity of his outrageous (95% thingy) claims.

Please re-read my posts in this thread, s-l-o-w-l-y this time, you sure you are not misinterpreting me? Seems like you see what you wanna see and then rationalize it. I give up okay. I'm a bad person, please feel free to scrutinize all I say so I don't get a free pass on your watch. Thanks.

[lavezzi]

the philippines is a country where older men travel to because they can find a girl 20 or more years younger than them to have as a vacation gf. this is where the reputation of filipinas being lying scammers comes from, not some inherent flaw in filipino dna or culture.

just like some men beleive in the lie that god created the world in 7 days when they want to be loved by jesus, other men beleive in the lie that age doesnt matter when it comes to attraction in SE asia when they want to be loved by a filipina.

[Banano]

Ginger

Your behaviour is on par with psychotic bitchy AW we all try to avoid, I know I said it before but please try to be sweet filipina, sometims I wonder if you are ladyboy posing as lady,

I dont care if Op is legit or troll, even if he is it doesnt change anything, look at the content of his post.

I wanna know which part of his post is implausible?
Its common knowledge that young filipinas go for old foreign men and they dont go for their looks and personality and I cans ee how some Filipinas talk crap behind their bfs back..i dont blame them nor im surprised...
I heard thai women doing the same, having multiple bfs and still looking for more 'good men' with 'good heart'...
its business after all..

as for 'dating paradise'..its matter of perception..take money out of equation see if its still paradise

[davewe]

I lived in America for 6 months and from what I saw, American women are more genuine, intelligent, and less materialistic when compared to Filipina women. America certainly has a lot of problems and it is far from a "dating paradise" but I was at least able to get an FWB with an older woman. She was no beauty queen and could probably afford to lose 50kg, but I did not have to spend a cent on her besides the occasional dinner.

I don't know whether the OP is in fact a native Filipino, an AW, an HA member or former member faking it - and frankly it doesn't matter. The statement I found interesting is the one above. The OP clearly prefers an older woman who is 100+ pounds overweight, simply because he didn't have to pay for anything other than dinner. And he's right! If you want an old, obese woman who has financial means then America is the place for you. If you require a woman (young, good looking or otherwise) who needs nothing from you (other than your good looks) the Philippines and most of the rest of the 3rd world probably is not for you.

Frankly, this statement makes me wonder if the OP knows something about gold digging himself!

[Rock]

If you require a woman (young, good looking or otherwise) who needs nothing from you (other than your good looks) the Philippines and most of the rest of the 3rd world probably is not for you.

Well, attractive guys with a decent build can still find those types of gals in countries like Phils or Thailand if they stick with a certain class and type of girls. But yes, overall, they maximize their handicap by going to certain medium to upper medium income countries, perhaps places like Mexico, Taiwan, and even Brazil.

One key difference I noticed between majority of girls in Anglo world vs. those in medium income countries or the 'cream' girls of so-called 3rd world for getting genuine attention from lots of local females - in former, u need to be some sort of super man looks wise, somebody w celebrity appeal (even if its phony), or someone clever enough to pull-off the douche bag, bad boy, or player image (real or false). In the latter, being a decent to good looking regular guy who is nice will serve you well and even if you are just average looking, you will probably do fine.

Some of the poor to very poor countries allow very unattractive and/or old guys to date 'certain' young local women. But most of these guys, typically jaded expats and old-timers, seem to know the score. It's generally more or less a veiled business transaction. In most cases, it's not a genuine relationship I believe. But then you have the shorter term extended visitors who often seem deeply naive when dealing with these girls. They sometimes imagine that they are a celebrity or have re-gained the appeal they had in youth. And some of these guys are quite capable in business and other areas of their lives. But they end-up getting totally outsmarted by simpletons by falling under some illusion that the girls he dates are hot just because they are not Walmart whales and more importantly, that such girls dig them. Wishful thinking overtakes reality.

But some guys believe ALL relationships between men and women are like that. Perhaps Tom Lykis is one of them. My theory is that such guys, in youth, were unlucky or unwise by choosing the wrong women to fall for. They went for gold digger types even though they didn't have to. Then after going through a slew of bad gfs and wives, concluded that almost all women just go with men for security where security equals money.

Well, I don't buy that. I've seen plenty of girls who go for guys they would pretty much die for. Some toil side-by-side with their man. Some even support him financially while treating him like a king. Yes, there are many relationships like that, where the girl is the giver or at least reciprocates good treatment 2 fold.

If you are very old or unattractive, understand you will probably need to go for older and less attractive gals if you wanna have a decent shot at finding a girl who can love you for you. From my general observations and readings, I believe it's against human nature, irregardless of culture, to achieve a genuine love relationship where there are extreme gaps in age or looks. There may be exceptions here and there but winning the lottery is an exception too so keep in mind just how much the cards are sacked out of your favor. Perhaps a compromise is in order - compartmentalization. Find an older and less attractive gal to be your soulmate who allows you to periodically satisfy your urges for intimacy with 'young flesh'. To keep it fair, you should let her do likewise.

There is a critical distinction between a girl who is genuinely into you and a girl who is into the support you represent. Am I the only one here who gets this or am I the one who is naive???

[Johnny1975]

Ginger

Your behaviour is on par with psychotic bitchy AW we all try to avoid, I know I said it before but please try to be sweet filipina, sometims I wonder if you are ladyboy posing as lady,

I don't care if Op is legit or troll, even if he is it doesnt change anything, look at the content of his post.

My point exactly. It makes no difference whether the OP is genuine or not, the point is that unfortunately we live in a world where a huge proportion of females are damaged in one way or another, so to me it matters not whether a female is from the US, UK, Ukraine, or Philippines, they are all to be scrutinized. No excuses for anyone, no assumptions of innocence, no nonsense. Ginger's facade is very flimsy and it's not surprising as the truth always reveals itself sooner or later, you just have to take the rainbow glasses off. There's no point in trying to reason with psychotic bitches. The only constructive thing to do is take note.

[lavezzi]

as for 'dating paradise'..its matter of perception..take money out of equation see if its still paradise

i think it should be a definite paradise for men looking for relationships but due to the missuse of the country by some, severe problems have arisen.

filipinas get the slack, but its a two way process. the quality of action will determine the quality of result without exception. this is a natural law and a basic one which everyone in the world understands, but due to imposed ignorance nessicary to sustain the current state of humanity, not many realize how far its application extends; in terms of the scenario in the philippines: the individuals going into the country paints its general reputation of foreigners, the reputation of foreigners in turn will be reflected back in the type of females who are drawn towards foreigners.

human attraction as well as the relationships which result from it works in very simple ways: the more or better you give the more or better you get back; the more you expect, the more that is expected from you. however when youre lumped into a group you are forced to take responsibility for the past actions of your supposed group. the philippines is a place where 90% of foreigners are of the sex tourist variety. this has skewed things a lot, however the law of attraction works even in seemingly unlikely scenarios, so sincere guys who travel there in search of a great female companion (especially those who consciously know how to use intuition) will be able to find her without too much difficulty, but with a lot more difficulty than there should be.

[Johnny1975]

Ginger, I don't rely on luck, I go where the evidence takes me, like I said.

As you well know, I never said that it's 95% bad. You're not even making the slightest effort to hide the fact that you're deliberately putting words into my mouth. You made your smartass comment because you thought I was talking about you. You were incorrect, but ironically you also showed yourself to be one, hence my correct observation that actually, yes, you too are one. I didn't think it before, but now I do. It's very prophetic how it all worked out.

Dude, your freudian slip is too obvious, also I was referring to your agreeing(?) of OP's claims.

As long as I keep hearing that there is a strong culture of lying and scamming among filipinas, I have no choice but to take it seriously and look into it. It makes no difference to me how defensive that makes you feel. There's a strong culture of narcissism and materialism among western females, and they too rightly deserve to be scrutinized ruthlessly. No one gets a free pass with me. No one is assumed to be squeaky clean, and all anecdotal reports of dodgy behaviour will be looked into.

Okay scrutinize everyone mister, make sure no one will ever get a free pass at anything okay.

I still do not see why you are singling me out as if I'm the only person who doubted the OP's authenticity as a pinoy moreso the validity of his outrageous (95% thingy) claims.

Please re-read my posts in this thread, s-l-o-w-l-y this time, you sure you are not misinterpreting me? Seems like you see what you wanna see and then rationalize it. I give up okay. I'm a bad person, please feel free to scrutinize all I say so I don't get a free pass on your watch. Thanks.

For the benefit of the forum, I've highlighted major red flags in Ginger's post, although in truth I may as well have highlighted the whole thing. Note the attitude, passive aggressiveness, and condescension. This is precisely why no one here should automatically assume that a filipina or a girl from any particular country is god's gift to men.

Ginger, you're a sham. I see you.

[davewe]

There is a critical distinction between a girl who is genuinely into you and a girl who is into the support you represent. Am I the only one here who gets this or am I the one who is naive???

I just posted a gold digger question because the whole question of what is or isn't a gold digger interests me.

I agree that "there is a critical distinction." For me the real issue for both men and women is that no one wants to be used. I am talking about long-term relationships or marriage; short-term can be different. That means most women will not tolerate a man who "only" wants them for sex and most men will not tolerate a woman who "only" wants him for money or support. I am aware of no men who would say "Honey I love you so much that I would stay with you even if there were never sex again," and I suspect there are few if any women who would say "Honey I will love and stay with you even if you never pay another bill."

For most people the reality in a long term relationship is that someone has to pay the bills, someone has to pay for dinner and entertainment, etc. In most marriages between any man and woman (domestic or foreign) negotiations have to happen: "I'll pay for this - you pay for that" "I'll pay this bill - you clean the house," etc. Of course lots of couples suck at this and it causes many arguments and ultimate divorces.

So yes, in the grand scheme of things, all long term relationships cost money. Does that make every wife a gold digger or user? No. It just means there is no free lunch. Of course there may be an exception, though usually it is voiced by a guy whose notion of a long-term relationship isn't very long-term. Ask every guy you know who has been married a long time. There is a vast difference between the guy who says 'I banged her for a week and paid nothing" or even "I banged her for 6 months and paid almost nothing," and the guy who was married for 10+ years.