Why do American women only want to date bad boys and thugs?

[clowny]

Outwest, give me some examples of false alphas (bad boys/thugs) and examples of TRUE alphas.

Because according to your logic, that would make Obama an alpha male, but he seems pretty beta to me.

[Teal Lantern]

Part of the problem may be we are not all working with the same definition of "alpha"?
Let's look at two very different men.

First up:
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe
34th President of the United States (and featured on the old American dollar coin. )
Probably got a few bedpost notches in his day, when he wasn't busy saving Europe or being President.

Next up:
Mr. Marcus

Has shared communicable diseases with some of the most attractive women in Cali.
Most certainly has more bedpost notches that the other guy, and the films to prove it.


Now, which man's work more closely fits your idea of "alpha"?

[ILoveBlackAmericanWomen]

Because a bad man's "good qualities" (assertive,protector,tough,manly yet showers her with compliments and attention and great sex) is what fills that woman's void so she ignores his bad qualities. In her eyes he is not a bad man but a "real man" I'm a woman who had many conversations with different women on this topic believe me I know.

[ILoveBlackAmericanWomen]

Part of the problem may be we are not all working with the same definition of "alpha"?
Let's look at two very different men.

First up:
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe
34th President of the United States (and featured on the old American dollar coin. )
Probably got a few bedpost notches in his day, when he wasn't busy saving Europe or being President.

Next up:
Mr. Marcus

Has shared communicable diseases with some of the most attractive women in Cali.
Most certainly has more bedpost notches that the other guy, and the films to prove it.


Now, which man's work more closely fits your idea of "alpha"?

The old man fits my idea of alpha hands down. The other guy is just a whore.

[abcdavid01]

Because a bad man's "good qualities" (assertive,protector,tough,manly yet showers her with compliments and attention and great sex) is what feels that women's void so she ignores his bad qualities. In her eyes he is not a bad man but a "real man" I'm a woman who had many conversations with different women on this topic believe me I know.

Right, and in another era you might get a Genghis Kahn out of these guys. Otherwise you get scum.

[ILoveBlackAmericanWomen]

Because a bad man's "good qualities" (assertive,protector,tough,manly yet showers her with compliments and attention and great sex) is what feels that women's void so she ignores his bad qualities. In her eyes he is not a bad man but a "real man" I'm a woman who had many conversations with different women on this topic believe me I know.

Right, and in another era you might get a Genghis Kahn out of these guys. Otherwise you get scum.

True. I forgot to mention confidence. Many bad guys are not intimidated by a woman's beauty and they don't suck up to them and women respect that.

[Tsar]

What is lacking in this discussion is the concept that women, just like various creatures in the animal kingdom, are attracted to the dominant male. Eg, a lion displays dominance by fighting off the other lions in the pride who challenge him, thus gaining access to courtship with the lioness. This is because lionesses, just like human females, are biologically designed to submit themselves to the dominant male.

Human females are attracted to the alpha male, not beta males. The reason women go for bad boys is because they bad boys tend to exhibit alpha male characteristics, ie dominance, aggression, while the "nice guys" are often wimps who lack these characteristics.



So really, all you guys are hating on women because of biology and the survival instinct. It's the truth.

I wouldn't say that nice guys are betas. Some guys classified as "betas" are more qualified to be the "alphas." What humans have that animals don't have is complex intellect and sentience. While the bad boys might be considered "alphas" are they really capable of great achievements? I wouldn't believe they are. Many of the most powerful men in history wouldn't be considered "alphas" by the present day standards but they were "alphas" because the were able to plan things in their favor and manipulate others. Many of the ones who are manipulated are the thugs and the less educated because they can not plan for the long-term and they just do whatever. The current "alphas" are not really alphas because they are manipulated and usually it's by someone who is more of an introverted person able to know what to say to them to get them to do the work. I would guess that many of the authoritarian leaders, international crime lords, and mafia families were led by "betas" (nice guys) who manipulated the "alphas" (thugs) into doing the hazardous "dirty work." Money is a motivational factor to the thugs and if a "beta" has money and power that "beta" is actually able to demonstrate he is a true alpha. I would say that a true alpha knows how to exhibit calculated dominance, are capable of restraining aggression, and are able to formulate meaningful actions. While a majority of "nice guys" might indeed be "betas" some are the true alphas.

[clowny]

What is lacking in this discussion is the concept that women, just like various creatures in the animal kingdom, are attracted to the dominant male. Eg, a lion displays dominance by fighting off the other lions in the pride who challenge him, thus gaining access to courtship with the lioness. This is because lionesses, just like human females, are biologically designed to submit themselves to the dominant male.

Human females are attracted to the alpha male, not beta males. The reason women go for bad boys is because they bad boys tend to exhibit alpha male characteristics, ie dominance, aggression, while the "nice guys" are often wimps who lack these characteristics.



So really, all you guys are hating on women because of biology and the survival instinct. It's the truth.

I wouldn't say that nice guys are betas. Some guys classified as "betas" are more qualified to be the "alphas." What humans have that animals don't have is complex intellect and sentience. While the bad boys might be considered "alphas" are they really capable of great achievements? I wouldn't believe they are. Many of the most powerful men in history wouldn't be considered "alphas" by the present day standards but they were "alphas" because the were able to plan things in their favor and manipulate others. Many of the ones who are manipulated are the thugs and the less educated because they can not plan for the long-term and they just do whatever. The current "alphas" are not really alphas because they are manipulated and usually it's by someone who is more of an introverted person able to know what to say to them to get them to do the work. I would guess that many of the authoritarian leaders, international crime lords, and mafia families were led by "betas" (nice guys) who manipulated the "alphas" (thugs) into doing the hazardous "dirty work." Money is a motivational factor to the thugs and if a "beta" has money and power that "beta" is actually able to demonstrate he is a true alpha. I would say that a true alpha knows how to exhibit calculated dominance, are capable of restraining aggression, and are able to formulate meaningful actions. While a majority of "nice guys" might indeed be "betas" some are the true alphas.

What the hell? You've got it all the wrong way around. The people who are calling the shots and getting others to do the work are not "introverted types", they are confident leaders who usually display alpha male characteristics. I mean, do you think the leaders in the military, law enforcement, or the corporate world, are introverted? LOL, I think not.

[Tsar]

What the hell? You've got it all the wrong way around. The people who are calling the shots and getting others to do the work are not "introverted types", they are confident leaders who usually display alpha male characteristics. I mean, do you think the leaders in the military, law enforcement, or the corporate world, are introverted? LOL, I think not.

In many extroverted cultures the extroverted people are usually the ones who are in the leadership positions because that is byproduct of culture. Just because extroverts might be given a preferential bias for leadership positions in extroverted cultures like America, it doesn't necessarily make them good leaders. Introverts might be reserved or quiet but that doesn't translate into a lack of confidence.

Many studies have demonstrated introverts make better leaders than extroverts. Many of the greatest and most beloved leaders in history were introverts.

http://www.forbes.com/2009/11/30/introv ... ality.html
http://www.forbes.com/sites/karlmoore/2 ... extroverts
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/16/opini ... s-too.html
hbswk.hbs.edu/item/6494.html
www.typelogic.com/intj.html (This also includes lists names of introverted people who have been leaders)

Reading about the topic will dispel the popular misconceptions about introverts.

[Introvert]

What the hell? You've got it all the wrong way around. The people who are calling the shots and getting others to do the work are not "introverted types", they are confident leaders who usually display alpha male characteristics. I mean, do you think the leaders in the military, law enforcement, or the corporate world, are introverted? LOL, I think not.

You're confusing introverted (introspective) with shyness (shame). It's a common mistake.

To the topic at hand:
Nice guys don't set boundaries. They don't speak up when someone wrongs them. They fear confrontation and will do anything for acceptance. They are people pleasers, seeking to appease at the cost of their own well-being and self-esteem. Basically, the cure for the nice guy is assertiveness training. He needs to swing the pendulum the other way. Sure, he might over-correct into bad boy territory for a while. Women prefer too much confidence to not enough confidence anyway. However, this isn't really about women. This is about the nice guy growing a backbone.

[Banano]

What if introvert beta tries to turn into extrovert alpha;
Would it make him successfull with women?

is it just simple as that or is there more to it

*btw it seems most people are introvers??

[Introvert]

Here's what you're asking: what would happen if a person who preferred to spend his time alone changed into a person who prefers to spend his time with other people?

He would be successful with women that enjoy guys with the entertainer personality. He'd physically be around a greater amount of women, so on the surface it would seem like he is much more successful.

Most people are a combination of intro/extrovert. Online it will seem like introverts are in the majority because this medium (forums and the like) appeals to our nature.

[skateboardstephen]

Here's what you're asking: what would happen if a person who preferred to spend his time alone changed into a person who prefers to spend his time with other people?

He would be successful with women that enjoy guys with the entertainer personality. He'd physically be around a greater amount of women, so on the surface it would seem like he is much more successful.

Most people are a combination of intro/extrovert. Online it will seem like introverts are in the majority because this medium (forums and the like) appeals to our nature.

When i was in the U.S. during and a little after my high school days i used to be very outgoing and liked to be around people but after you deal with so much bull shit from people for so long it turns you into and introverted person. I had toxic ex girlfriend(practically wife but not legal thank god) in the U.S. that was just a drain on my soul for years,i was a lot more happier and out going before i met that bitch(2003-2008 off and on) and could never really get back on track ever since.

[ringspun]

You guys really nailed it on the way these women think....

When I was younger, more cocky, I used to score reasonably easy... now 10 years later things have changed, i'm older but a lot richer, however most women really are attracted to bad boy losers, even guys with disgusting teeth (ok we brits are known for it) but you wouldn't believe how some guys get these girls.

Everytime I go anywhere else i.e. Europe or Asia, I have no issues whatsoever... but here in the UK its also the quality of the women now, they are so bad, at best you would get a 6/10 with 2 - 3 children and as others mentioned, they then are looking for a pay check...

One guy I know, whose a nice guy, constantly gets into these relationships and pays EVERYTHING, their rent the lot, only to get dumped further down the line.

Girls also from UK can make big money from children if they have many children with different fathers, each father in turn must pay 20% of his salary to that woman... one woman I know of has 4 kids by 4 men, plus the English welfare system and brings in £2,200 per month plus free 4 bedroomed house.

My main issue with getting a woman abroad is I still won't marry them, if they come here, become westernised and your'e married... then your fked... as they will get the same settlements as a Western Woman.

[Teal Lantern]

Girls also from UK can make big money from children if they have many children with different fathers, each father in turn must pay 20% of his salary to that woman... one woman I know of has 4 kids by 4 men, plus the English welfare system and brings in £2,200 per month plus free 4 bedroomed house.

My main issue with getting a woman abroad is I still won't marry them, if they come here, become westernised and your'e married... then your fked... as they will get the same settlements as a Western Woman.

Marry or not, they're always coming up with ways to more easily transfer resources from you to her.
In parts of the USA and Canada, if you allow a woman with children to live with you over a certain amount of time (varies by jurisdiction) and spend money on them or just cover the food or rent, you can be held later as responsible to continue providing for them as if they were yours. They don't have to be yours or adopted by you.
Even if she doesn't have kids, good luck kicking her out.
Far easier for her to get you thrown out of your own house (arrested), giving her plenty of time to loot or damage it.