You're right. I guess I just got that whole idea about hoping she "likes me for me" stuck in my head. But being American is a part of me, and it has obviously shaped the way I do and see things. I remember once saying, "I'm not like other Americans", to which the girl replied, "that's such an American thing to say!" It took me a couple of days to sort out exactly why that was, as my way of thinking is so utterly American that I couldn't even see my idealized individualism for what it was- something that made me more like other Americans that I was like anyone else.djfourmoney wrote:What's wrong with women having a thing for men from the dominate culture? As I said, we are generally upbeat and self-starters (though you would have to wonder with the people around here). This is attractive to women, why would they want a man that's too serious and doesn't know how to have a good time?
I don't see that as novelty I see that as life with you might be enjoyable overall, much more up than it is down. Some areas of America don't have the depressing weather that's everywhere in Europe but the Mediterranean Coast countries who are also blamed for the EU financial crisis for being lazy and receiving the most benefits/aid from the EU Government.
Brits are self-deprecating way too much and I can see how that could be a turnoff to women because they want a man confident in himself. It seems only Brits with money are confident. French men are a bit rigid and that needs explanation. The French overall belief they have the best culture in the world and best social democracy. This leads to the snobby attitude some French people have, especially those with money. So most middle class French people feel entitled and like I said believe they have the greatest country. How is that not hard to believe when the world constantly talks about how good french food is, french pastry, the social safety net and respect for the arts? Upper class Americans even rave about it...
If you oversold the novelty bit, you are underselling yourself as an American man, a doctor in-fact and women especially women from Eastern Europe would and should be ALL OVER you unless you look like Shrek...
As long as your goals are inline with hers and she meets the requirements to make a good wife, I really wouldn't be concerned that if the girl in the bed next to you only f***ed you because you're an American and nothing else.
I'd say that HIGHLY UNLIKELY, accept maybe with Rich Russian girls who are on the scale of 1-10 are 9's... Then yes you might be a nice distraction in her search for a Russian Oligarch.
Again I think this is part of the problem. American culture has beaten men up so much that men who shouldn't be questioning themselves are doing so.
The country is coming undone, no reason for you to go down with the ship MD.
The self starter bit definitely holds true. Look at Poland. It has been one of, and often the, fastest growing economy in Europe for years. Yet I asked people how they felt about their country, and they said that there was no opportunity. Yet, I saw it all around me. I could bottle and sell vodka to the world, open a hostel, sell food that would put the local food to shame (either the Polish palette is very bland, or the ingredients available are just horrible), there were a million things one could do, and the price of entry was nothing compared to what it would be in the States. They say America has opportunities abound, but yet they couldn't even see all of the opportunities right in front of their faces. So I guess that's another upside to the American way of thinking- always gunning to get ahead, always seeing things in a different way.
And I've yet to travel since I was admitted to medical school, though the reality is I'm currently a medical student, not a doctor, so I'm extremely poor. I've got a minimum of seven years left until I'm able to practice on my own and actually pulling in a decent income, and even then I'll be 350k in debt, so it isn't really something I'm keen to share with people I meet. Draws in the wrong sorts of women in the States, gold diggers and such that think I'll whisk them away to a five star hotel and buy them a Coach handbag on date #3, and I would imagine it would have the same effect abroad, possibly even magnify it. I usually just avoid talking about what I do unless someone really won't drop it, and depending on the way in which they're prodding a lot of the time I'll just give them some bullshit answer like "I sell used car parts on ebay". Luckily I don't much have to worry about the dating market and the intentions of strange women at the moment, have a nice girl that's stuck by me for a few months so it hasn't been an issue. Long term, I still plan to go abroad, and she might not be there by my side for that (she doesn't seem like she can really handle a big move, domestic or international, plus once I start my clinical years I'll be hopping around the country and I don't know if we'll stick it out, just sort of playing it by ear), so I really need to think about how I'll play my cards when and if I'm back on the international scene.
I will be doing at least a six week clinical rotation in the PI at some point in my fourth year, maybe I can get a feel for it then. Whatever I end up doing, you're totally right. I need to work every advantage this country gives me and embrace them- not doing so would just be stupid.