Feeling Lonely After Seeing Couples

[eurobrat]

The ego thing perfectly sums up the main reason why certain people here are successful and others are not:

Those willing to listen to others have ego's as well - no man is without an ego altogether. But their ego's are somewhat in check. They recognize the fact that they don't know it all, that they don't have all the answers. If they did they would not be in this shitty situation after all.

I think there's more of the victim mentality going on then an Ego thing.

[Cornfed]

Says the guy who's about to get the boot from the forum and has an open voting thread against you...

Oh well, I must be wrong then More evidence of your being brain damaged.

[mattyman]

What they need is a more humble approach. And to be more open to the ideas and suggestion of others. If he knew it all so well, he'd be swimming in p*ssy by now and telling us how to do things instead.

That's true, but I think a more tactful delivery of suggestions, or maybe even an acknowledging the fact that he might not yet be ready to take-on-board such suggestions at this moment in time.

Those willing to listen to others have ego's as well - no man is without an ego altogether. But their ego's are somewhat in check. They recognize the fact that they don't know it all, that they don't have all the answers. If they did they would not be in this shitty situation after all.

I'm not sure whether this is Tsar's problem. He might not yet be ready? I don't know, I'm not at liberty to pass judgement. As far as I can infer, just having a few good friends could make all the difference.

[Tsar]

As for fantasies.... this is why I'd made that list of ages 13, 17, 24, 29+. I believe that the OP is somewhere at the 1st gateway where his Don Quixote dreams have him believing that he's fighting for Excalibur, Camelot (or something). It would be like me, looking for that great adventure, since Obi-Wan Kenobi will teach me once I hit my twenties. Sorry, but I was done with phantasmagorical adventures at 13 pronto. From then on, it was coping with the raw deal of having been born into a psychotic family. I was on my way towards adulthood, a s it was only 4 years into the future from there. And it was the 2nd gateway, 17, when I started to actively look for women.

I don't know, Tsar sounds spoiled and it looks like him being spoiled has warped into entitlement. At 24 still living at home with no job... When I was 24 I had already graduated college, was about to pay off the loan on my truck, I was working full-time, had my own apartment in the nicer part of LA fully furnished and I was dating a 27 year old girl who I had met online.

This kind of situation where he's still living at home being coddled at that age reminds me of the Italians here in Italy. This kind of coddling is stunting him socially, emotionally and intellectually.

You graduated in a better economy. I definitely am not spoiled. Most of what I have I bought myself and most of the things of value I got myself. I didn't have a car to use until age 20, and I didn't get my first one until age 22. I never got the latest video games, game console, iPod, and I never got an iPhone. I didn't get monthly MMO subscriptions or the latest gadgets. If you think I'm being coddled or want to remain at home you're completely wrong.

[Tsar]

This is not true, he's not even trying to do anything with himself. There's plenty of work out there for anyone who tries.

This issue isn't rocket science. At present there is one graduate job for, I think, every 12 graduates. It is no more possible for all graduates to get jobs than to pour a pint into a shot glass without spillage. Now consider that a lot of those few positions would go to females hired as corporate whores, blacks hired under apefirmative action, rich tossers hired because Daddy makes a phone call etc. and it should be obvious that very few ordinary men graduating from college will be able to get jobs. In shrinking industries, which is most industries these days, the first thing to be cut is the training budget, in which case there are NO graduate jobs. We have already heard in other treads that this is the case in parts of the IT sector. You really should do some research before making yourself look stupid by posting absurdities.

That's exactly how things are. Then there's about 20 million unemployed or underemployed people trying to get a job or a better job. The competition doesn't allow for real mobility and good employment. Some people have applied at 400 jobs and didn't even receive a single interview. That's how bleak the situation is inside America. There are men in their 40s and 50s that are in the peak years of a career working minimum wage jobs. That's how terrible it is. It's not because they aren't educated, it's because that was the only job they could get in this terrible economy.

[Maverick]

So you graduated in the right field at the right time and got a job. That doesn't indicate there are plenty of jobs, only plenty in your field (or you were lucky). If there were plenty of jobs overall, then why would you have needed to bother researching which fields there were jobs in? Clearly there you got lucky as well, because the market could have changed, hiring policy could have changed or government policy could have changed, causing you to become unemployable. This happened to a lot of people with the dot com bust. People looking at rock solid certain career paths had they graduated a year earlier were rendered unemployable overnight.

Anything is possible, but my field is pretty stable for the time being. It's generally a field that has always been stable and will continue to be stable at least until the end of this decade. Again, I discovered this due to research and market trends. So while I suppose one can attribute just about anything to luck, proper planning and research will significantly contribute to one's "good luck".

Regardless, I personally know people that did not have the "luck" that I had and are still successful. My brother, for example, was one semester short of finishing college and figured that his degree is worthless. He was in tons of debt and needed a job to pay off this debt. So he pounded the pavement and ended up getting a job at a car dealership. He worked his a** off for a few months and learned the profession and just won salesman of the month this month. He's raking in money right now. On top of that, he has a persistent stutter that is extremely noticeable (which he could have used as an excuse to not be successful, but he didn't).

For the sake of perspective, my brother is the same age as Tsar and also lives in the northeast.

[mattyman]

@ Tsar, I'm sure you're a catch for the right girl somewhere. Someone's economic and living situation is a pretty shallow criteria from which to judge a person

Eurobrat's replies do strike me as verging on attacks and attempts to undermine. If I was you, and I was being spoken to like that, I'd tell him to shove it. I wouldn't tolerate being belittled, patronised or shamed about my situation if that was me.

[Tsar]

A lot of what's being given to Tsar looks like people ganging-up and belittling more than anything. Hardly anything I've seen in response to the OP is sympathetic to how he might be feeling.

Don't you get it? He's almost-certainly very socially-isolated and he's probably dealt with some right assholes in his time. Don't judge and don't belittle.

As for the belittling about the job situation, living at home and that load of jazz. I thought that this was pretty much against the mentality of 'you are what you do', 'without a job you're a worthless piece of shit' or you're a loser if you live at home' mentality.

This board is so rife with hypocrisy and pettiness. I mean, all the things ranted about here, all the things typical of 'the west' and 'western women' that people rant about on here, there's plenty of evidence of it's display here. In so many ways, this forum has become the very thing that it was speaking against, it's attracted exactly the same attitudes that.

Do you f***ing et it, you behave like that to people in a situation like that, they'll just get defensive and close off to you. There really is no need for aggression, belittling and down-talking. Whatever Tsar's situation, behaving like this towards him certainly won't help.

After all, this is just opinion at the end of the day. Some of you people have an ego that's too big for your boots that's the problem.

Of particular importance, he did say he has a hard time trusting people. He says he been betrayed many times in the past. I don't know his situation enough to give advice,, but I do think that this is of particular relevance to his situation. I don't know how comfortable he feels opening-up about his life yet.

With the sort of treatment I've seen earlier in this post, that looks very unlikely.

I'll share some examples of what happened at my first college. I dropped out of that college and it was one of major life-defining and life changing experiences.

When I went to my first college I lived on campus. I dropped out once I stopped going to classes and got really depressed.

Experience 1: Most of the girls were sluts. Walking out of rooms in their bra and panties carrying their clothes. Throwing themselves at guys when drunk. There wasn't a single respectable girl.
Experience 2: I asked out an attractive girl. It went okay but it wasn't the best. It takes awhile for me me to open up to anyone. We went to dinner. This was my freshman year. Her, her roommate, and another guy (one of my roommates in year 2. I'll call him John Doe). When I saw him he was the typical jock steroid-using Jersey Shore frat-type. Because the girl I asked out was much more attractive than her roommate I figured "What am I doing here? This guy is obviously the one she's interested in and I don't have a chance" so afterwards I never really called her back. Besides, I facebooked her and her previous boyfriend has a very low-cut almost bad hairstyle and looked like an ever bigger juiced-up Jersey Shore meathead. Anyway, I found out by taking with John Doe that he was in fact dating her roommate, not the girl I asked out. It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Experience 3: My roommates (not by choice, because no one in my freshman year made any effort to be a real friend or get to know me) would pretend to be my friends. But they would always ditch me, some of them would mock me behind my back, and one time two of them snuck into my room drunk when I stepped out for a few minutes and they trashed it. They even flipped the entire mattress over, those drunken foolish brutes.
Experience 4: I was leaving the dorm room one night and John Doe was drunk. I was walking by and the juiced-up Jersey Shore guy that he is pushed me up against the wall and pinned me there. I'm not sure if I was off the ground or not. He said angry and antagonistically "What did you say?" I didn't say a single thing. I told him "I didn't say anything" and he let me down. I look back on that moment and I wish I had said "I said get your f***ing hands off me" and at this point I would probably add "you bastard!" to the end up it. I wished I had some brass knucles or a taser to get him to the ground and maybe break his legs turning him into a temporary cripple. I doubt I would go that far but I would knock him to the ground and leave to avoid a serious fight. He was a lot stronger than me.
Experience 5: One time I did go with my roommates to a party. I decided to try and approach a girl. She wasn't interested at all in talking or anything. But then I see her in our room's common room and she's here for one of my roommates. The next day or something I think I hear one of my roommates saying to one of the other ones something like he got that girl I was talking to or something, and mocking me. I was tired of those imbecile bastards mocking me behind my back. I sent him a facebook message. Later that evening he came back after losing some basketball game to a group of other guys. He read the message, came pounding on my door looking for a fight because I called him out. I wrote something like "If you have something you want to say to me then say it to my face." That infuriated him and being the brute that he is, he really wanted me to open my door so he could fight me. He was turning the doorknob, but I kept it locked, especially because that type is unpredictable. The next day he had cooled off but one of the other roommates explained the losing the basketball game and that I should probably avoid him for awhile.
Experience 6: When I was in middle school I was severely bullied. Even by many teachers. Instead of punishing the bullies, they would punish me. I was the victim and they were punishing me! I was even expelled for about one-year because they didn't want to deal with it. Only a few teachers actually punished the bullies. Many of them didn't care. One was a big-boned imbecile bastard who even when he saw some students throw insults and obscenities at me, would only say "Hey!" or something that was even less than a verbal slap on the wrist. But whenever he heard me insult back, he would talk a discussion about me and threaten to write me up or something. I was the f***ing victim and they would punish me. One time I had an outburst when his teacher's assistant was bullying me and writing me up, and I was in tears and screaming. I flipped my entire desk over and was yelling and screaming. That's one of the things I remember about those years.
Experience 7: In high school I became a loner after dealing with that traumatic stress inflicted upon me by the bullies, the teachers, and my parents the meek people they were never did anything about it. No one did. Meek folks that would always turn the other cheek. They wonder why they were always behind while other people were getting more than they were. Meek people don't get anywhere in life. They could have done more.
Experience 8: After I became a commuter, fast forward to 2012 shortly after I joined HappierAbroad. I'm not even interested in dating an American girl but I think that I should at least try and get some experience talking with a girl and having a friendship with a member of the opposite sex. So I try to stand out and make myself known. Anyway, I do something nice and she texts me that I brightened up her day. Anyway, because I'm a commuter I text her something like "Would you like to go out for lunch sometime and chat?" but it had more tact and it was better. I wouldn't see her otherwise and it's not really smart to text someone you don't know too well. So she replies something like "If you see me in the cafeteria sometime" but I think it was a little more considerate. I mention that I'm a commuter. She texts back saying "She's sorta seeing someone." First of all a girl can't sorta be seeing someone, it's either a yes or a no. Secondly, there is nothing that says or implies I am asking her out. Therefore I was spurned in friendship yet again, one of several dozen times throughout my life. Any attractive American girl ranking 6/10 or above must believe that any guy that does anything nice for her or even asks her for lunch must want to date her if he wants to get to know her. Never again will I do something that nice or even half that nice for an American girl.

I'm sure there are dozens of other examples I could give but those eight are great examples of what I dealt with. I have emotional traumatic stress disorder and major trust issues. I've been spurned, betrayed, rejected, and forced to endure more misery in my life than most people endure. It's a miracle I didn't kill myself (although I dreamed about it all throughout middle school, high school, and my first college) but I wanted to have my princess more than I wanted to end my life.

Here are some clips from Once Upon a Time. This is what my past was like.





Listen to what Cora says. Much of what she says relates to me. I was forced to kneel. I was forced to apologize when I didn't do anything wrong. I might not have actually kissed anyone's boots like Rumpelstiltskin but metaphorically I did that many times.

A few more clips from the spinoff.

This is one where Jafar is a child. He is betrayed. He was trusting, all he wanted was love, family, and friends. That would have been enough. But he was spurned, betrayed, and rejected just like me.





Unlike Jafar it wasn't exactly by a parent. My parents betrayed me by being too meek and always turning the other cheek to others. But I was betrayed by others and by society. Constantly mocked, ridiculed, and forced to be an outcast. Today parents are suing school districts for six-figure payouts and winning because bullying isn't tolerated. My parents never believed in litigation. During my childhood society didn't even see bullying as an issue.

[Cornfed]

Anything is possible, but my field is pretty stable for the time being. It's generally a field that has always been stable and will continue to be stable at least until the end of this decade. Again, I discovered this due to research and market trends. So while I suppose one can attribute just about anything to luck, proper planning and research will significantly contribute to one's "good luck".

Not necessarily. Everything is going down the toilet and the order in which they go is largely given over to random chance and the decisions of the PTB. However, if I am wrong and you really do have the ability to predict the exact state of an industry years in the future, then I suggest you quit wasting your time doing whatever you are doing now and become a billionaire trading in stock options. It should be a piece of cake.

Regardless, I personally know people that did not have the "luck" that I had and are still successful. My brother, for example, was one semester short of finishing college and figured that his degree is worthless. He was in tons of debt and needed a job to pay off this debt. So he pounded the pavement and ended up getting a job at a car dealership. He worked his a** off for a few months and learned the profession and just won salesman of the month this month. He's raking in money right now.

A bit like I taught in Korea for a couple of years to stabilize my finances. Still, a lot of people trying to do that now are SOL.

[Tsar]

http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/som ... adult-ptsd

http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emoti ... nal-bully/

[Maverick]

A lot of what's being given to Tsar looks like people ganging-up and belittling more than anything. Hardly anything I've seen in response to the OP is sympathetic to how he might be feeling.

Don't you get it? He's almost-certainly very socially-isolated and he's probably dealt with some right assholes in his time. Don't judge and don't belittle.

As for the belittling about the job situation, living at home and that load of jazz. I thought that this was pretty much against the mentality of 'you are what you do', 'without a job you're a worthless piece of shit' or you're a loser if you live at home' mentality.

This board is so rife with hypocrisy and pettiness. I mean, all the things ranted about here, all the things typical of 'the west' and 'western women' that people rant about on here, there's plenty of evidence of it's display here. In so many ways, this forum has become the very thing that it was speaking against, it's attracted exactly the same attitudes that.

Do you f***ing et it, you behave like that to people in a situation like that, they'll just get defensive and close off to you. There really is no need for aggression, belittling and down-talking. Whatever Tsar's situation, behaving like this towards him certainly won't help.

After all, this is just opinion at the end of the day. Some of you people have an ego that's too big for your boots that's the problem.

Of particular importance, he did say he has a hard time trusting people. He says he been betrayed many times in the past. I don't know his situation enough to give advice,, but I do think that this is of particular relevance to his situation. I don't know how comfortable he feels opening-up about his life yet.

With the sort of treatment I've seen earlier in this post, that looks very unlikely.

I'll share some examples of what happened at my first college. I dropped out of that college and it was one of major life-defining and life changing experiences.

When I went to my first college I lived on campus. I dropped out once I stopped going to classes and got really depressed.

Experience 1: Most of the girls were sluts. Walking out of rooms in their bra and panties carrying their clothes. Throwing themselves at guys when drunk. There wasn't a single respectable girl.
Experience 2: I asked out an attractive girl. It went okay but it wasn't the best. It takes awhile for me me to open up to anyone. We went to dinner. This was my freshman year. Her, her roommate, and another guy (one of my roommates in year 2. I'll call him John Doe). When I saw him he was the typical jock steroid-using Jersey Shore frat-type. Because the girl I asked out was much more attractive than her roommate I figured "What am I doing here? This guy is obviously the one she's interested in and I don't have a chance" so afterwards I never really called her back. Besides, I facebooked her and her previous boyfriend has a very low-cut almost bad hairstyle and looked like an ever bigger juiced-up Jersey Shore meathead. Anyway, I found out by taking with John Doe that he was in fact dating her roommate, not the girl I asked out. It wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Experience 3: My roommates (not by choice, because no one in my freshman year made any effort to be a real friend or get to know me) would pretend to be my friends. But they would always ditch me, some of them would mock me behind my back, and one time two of them snuck into my room drunk when I stepped out for a few minutes and they trashed it. They even flipped the entire mattress over, those drunken foolish brutes.
Experience 4: I was leaving the dorm room one night and John Doe was drunk. I was walking by and the juiced-up Jersey Shore guy that he is pushed me up against the wall and pinned me there. I'm not sure if I was off the ground or not. He said angry and antagonistically "What did you say?" I didn't say a single thing. I told him "I didn't say anything" and he let me down. I look back on that moment and I wish I had said "I said get your f***ing hands off me" and at this point I would probably add "you bastard!" to the end up it. I wished I had some brass knucles or a taser to get him to the ground and maybe break his legs turning him into a temporary cripple. I doubt I would go that far but I would knock him to the ground and leave to avoid a serious fight. He was a lot stronger than me.
Experience 5: One time I did go with my roommates to a party. I decided to try and approach a girl. She wasn't interested at all in talking or anything. But then I see her in our room's common room and she's here for one of my roommates. The next day or something I think I hear one of my roommates saying to one of the other ones something like he got that girl I was talking to or something, and mocking me. I was tired of those imbecile bastards mocking me behind my back. I sent him a facebook message. Later that evening he came back after losing some basketball game to a group of other guys. He read the message, came pounding on my door looking for a fight because I called him out and said "If you have something you want to say to me then say it to my face." He really wanted me to open my door and was looking for a fight. He was turning the doorknob, but I kept it locked, especially because that type is unpredictable. The next day he was cooled off but one of the other roommates explained the losing the basketball game and that I should probably avoid him for awhile.
Experience 6: When I was in middle school I was severely bullied. Even by many teachers. Instead of punishing the bullies, they would punish me. I was the victim and they were punishing me! I was even expelled for about one-year because they didn't want to deal with it. Only a few teachers actually punished the bullies. Many of them didn't care. One was a big-boned imbecile bastard who even when he saw some students throw insults and obscenities at me, would only say "Hey!" or something that was even less than a verbal slap on the wrist. But whenever he heard me insult back, he would talk a discussion about me and threaten to write me up or something. I was the f***ing victim and they would punish me. One time I had an outburst when his teacher's assistant was bullying me and writing me up, and I was in tears and screaming. I flipped my entire desk over and was yelling and screaming. That's one of the things I remember about those years.
Experience 7: In high school I became a loner after dealing with that traumatic stress inflicted upon me by the bullies, the teachers, and my parents the meek people they were never did anything about it. No one did. Meek folks that would always turn the other cheek. They wonder why they were always behind while other people were getting more than they were. Meek people don't get anywhere in life. They could have done more.
Experience 8: After I became a commuter, fast forward to 2012 shortly after I joined HappierAbroad. I'm not even interested in dating an American girl but I think that I should at least try and get some experience talking with a girl and having a friendship with a member of the opposite sex. So I try to stand out and make myself known. Anyway, I do something nice and she texts me that I brightened up her day. Anyway, because I'm a commuter I text her something like "Would you like to go out for lunch sometime and chat?" but it had more tact and it was better. I wouldn't see her otherwise and it's not really smart to text someone you don't know too well. So she replies something like "If you see me in the cafeteria sometime" but I think it was a little more considerate. I mention that I'm a commuter. She texts back saying "She's sorta seeing someone." First of all a girl can't sorta be seeing someone, it's either a yes or a no. Secondly, there is nothing that says or implies I am asking her out. Therefore I was spurned in friendship yet again, one of several dozen times throughout my life. Any attractive American girl 6 or above must believe that any guy that does anything nice for her or even asks her for lunch must want to date her if he wants to get to know her. Never again will I do something that nice or even half that nice for an American girl.

I'm sure there are dozens of other examples I could give but those eight are great examples of what I dealt with. I have emotional traumatic stress disorder and major trust issues. I've been spurned, betrayed, rejected, and forced to endure more misery in my life than most people endure. It's a miracle I didn't kill myself (although I dreamed about it all throughout middle school, high school, and my first college) but I wanted to have my princess more than I wanted to end my life.

Here are some clips from Once Upon a Time. This is what my past was like.





Listen to what Cora says. Much of what she says relates to me. I was forced to kneel. I was forced to apologize when I didn't do anything wrong. I might not have actually kissed anyone's boots like Rumpelstiltskin but metaphorically I did that many times.

A few more clips from the spinoff.

This is one where Jafar is a child. He is betrayed. He was trusting, all he wanted was love, family, and friends. That would have been enough. But he was spurned, betrayed, and rejected just like me.





Unlike Jafar it wasn't exactly by a parent. My parents betrayed me by being too meek and always turning the other cheek to others. But I was betrayed by others and by society. Constantly mocked, ridiculed, and forced to be an outcast. Today parents are suing school districts for six-figure payouts and winning because bullying isn't tolerated. My parents never believing in litigation and society didn't even see bullying as an issue.

Not sure if anyone mentioned this yet, but have you tried going to therapy? Seems like there's a lot of issues there that you might want to get worked out before starting a family.

[Maverick]

Not necessarily. Everything is going down the toilet and the order in which they go is largely given over to random chance and the decisions of the PTB. However, if I am wrong and you really do have the ability to predict the exact state of an industry years in the future, then I suggest you quit wasting your time doing whatever you are doing now and become a billionaire trading in stock options. It should be a piece of cake.

I can't quit what I'm doing now. For reasons that I won't specify here, but have in other threads, I'm locked into my current situation for the near future.

Either way, it's almost impossible to become rich trading stocks (and my field is not related to the stock market anyway). But this is a topic for another thread.

A bit like I taught in Korea for a couple of years to stabilize my finances. Still, a lot of people trying to do that now are SOL.

That may be true, but there are other options for them if they look into it.

This can be a good idea for Tsar though: teaching abroad (Disclaimer: I am not an expert in this area and do not know much about it. It's just a suggestion that he should look into it).

[Cornfed]

Either way, it's almost impossible to become rich trading stocks

That is my point. If you could predict the market such that you knew there would be graduate-level jobs and ongoing employment in a given industry in times such as these, you could also get rich in the stock market. But of course without inside contacts, you can't in fact do either.

That may be true, but there are other options for them if they look into it.

That sounds like a religious statement. Depending on who you are, there might be or there might not be.

[Tsar]

Not sure if anyone mentioned this yet, but have you tried going to therapy? Seems like there's a lot of issues there that you might want to get worked out before starting a family.

I already go for therapy but it doesn't do anything. Do people honesty think a shrink can solve problems? It's like doctors that are always looking to treat the symptoms and not the underlying issue. Over time with love and friends and being surrounded by respectful, nice people would I begin to lose my anger, hatred, and bitterness. Without that no amount of time with a shrink would solve anything.

It's like telling a person in the Arctic Circle to let go of the cold and become warm by changing their thought process and talking to the wind. No amount of trying to let go of the cold will make the person any warmer. Talking to the wind is a waste of time. That's basically what it's like talking to a shrink. The only thing it does is allow me to talk about my miserable life or my wretched past.

Most of you don't know how even half of what I experienced feels like. What it's like to constantly be an outcast since childhood. After my parents could no longer afford it, I was taken out of a private religious school that educates people up to grade 8, then they can either go to a private high school or a public high school if they remained for the entire duration. In private religious schools people are generally kinder. I had friends when I was a child before I was thrown into a cold suburban school system from grade 4 onwards where I was subject to bullying by students and teachers. I was mocked throughout my life, suffer from PTSD from all the emotional and verbal abuse, and continuously oppressed. I know my timeline is a little off compared to most guys my age.

One of the only people on this forum that had some idea of what it's like is Winston. I read his biography and noticed we share a good number of similarities from childhood up to the college years.

[starchild5]

Not sure if anyone mentioned this yet, but have you tried going to therapy? Seems like there's a lot of issues there that you might want to get worked out before starting a family.

I already go for therapy but it doesn't do anything. Do people honesty think a shrink can solve problems? It's like doctors that are always looking to treat the symptoms and not the underlying issue. Over time with love and friends and being surrounded by respectful, nice people would I begin to lose my anger, hatred, and bitterness. Without that no amount of time with a shrink would solve anything.

It's like telling a person in the Arctic Circle to let go of the cold and become warm by changing their thought process and talking to the wind. No amount of trying to let go of the cold will make the person any warmer. Talking to the wind is a waste of time. That's basically what it's like talking to a shrink. The only thing it does is allow me to talk about my miserable life or my wretched past.

Most of you don't know how even half of what I experienced feels like. What it's like to constantly be an outcast since childhood. After my parents could no longer afford it, I was taken out of a private religious school that educates people up to grade 8, then they can either go to a private high school or a public high school if they remained for the entire duration. In private religious schools people are generally kinder. I had friends when I was a child before I was thrown into a cold suburban school system from grade 4 onwards where I was subject to bullying by students and teachers. I was mocked throughout my life, suffer from PTSD from all the emotional and verbal abuse, and continuously oppressed. I know my timeline is a little off compared to most guys my age.

One of the only people on this forum that had some idea of what it's like is Winston. I read his biography and noticed we share a good number of similarities from childhood up to the college years.

I have sent you a PM...Hope you get it..as I'm not sure sometime the darkness plays tricks ...

Im pasting my message here also....

----------------

The problem is NOT YOU...BUT OTHERS....You must remember this always....It goes way beyond what we see Physically on earth...The mental torture and suffering goes beyond physical earth and the decision to torture good souls on earth is taken on higher dimensions.

The humans, our family, brothers, relatives, taxi drivers, our work mates, shop assistant etc etc...The darkness comes through them and makes our life miserable....

The biggest, greatest weapon used by the EVIL is to put blame on his EVIL on humanity. He does all the evil and puts the blame on us and calls it "Karma"....Never ever believe in Karma...I'm from India, we invented this B**l Sh**t...This word is now taking over America also....Some words are Psychic weapons which once inserted in our minds and belief system will like a seed grow into a gigantic evil tree in us to destroy and consume us for ever.

In India, its a done thing...Its always your fault, Always...due to it...India has become a billion soulless humans...This evil tricks us to believe we are powerless, we are useless by blaming us for his Evil..He creates shits all around us like what happened to Winston and then puts the blame on victims themselves.

However, not to scare ...but we are entering even darker times...The battle between good and possessed souls have increased....Stay away from humanity, even your parents, brothers, friends...whoever tries to put you down...Never visit a doctor or a therapist or take meds..Its goes way way beyond....

Mix with people who are positive...I know hard to find positive people in these times...but limit your interaction....

HOWEVER, As I said...This whole game is far far worse than what we are being told...Even when we start living alone...After a while we will start getting frustrated..because human nature is social...So its not a solution that if you stop interacting with humanity the problems will go away...It will just Limit your suffering to an extent...

The best way is to balance it...Know THIS EVIL...Its much darker and evil than what we are being told about ..THE PROBLEM is not you but him....

In coming times, the problems will increase, sorry to say but the more aware we are ...the more we would be able to defend ourselves....Whenever, wherever someone blames you...ALWAYS REPEAT in your mind....You are not the problem..You are Perfect...The problem is them not me...This is very very important at this period in time.

You can also read my this post to defend against indecision, squeezness in life

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