My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Controls Me

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MattHanson1990
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My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Controls Me

Post by MattHanson1990 »

The title says it all, and no wonder I lost it earlier this afternoon. My sister is keeping me in sh*tty New Mexico for my first job and won't let me move to El Paso or any other part of the country after I graduate college. She even told me I'm just making up excuses to why I don't apply to jobs anymore, when the reality is young men are being shut out of the job market since it favors women; and she even said she and my dad know how to help me apply to jobs. They're just controlling my life, and I am SERIOUSLY considering disowning them. Sheesh! Talk about my self esteem going way down after being around all those sweet feminine down-to-earth women in El Paso. Up in Los Alamos people are way more dysfunctional.

They're trying to make me into someone I'm not. Putting work before relationships is so unnatural for me.


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Tsar
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by Tsar »

My family also keeps bringing up how I need a job. I've applied to at least 100 decent jobs in the last two months and got nothing except one phone interview and a rejection email for that position. It seems that most American families don't understand how difficult it is for Millennial Men.
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MattHanson1990
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by MattHanson1990 »

Tsar wrote:My family also keeps bringing up how I need a job. I've applied to at least 100 decent jobs in the last two months and got nothing except one phone interview and a rejection email for that position. It seems that most American families don't understand how difficult it is for Millennial Men.
Did you also call the place or go in in person to speak with someone about application status?
Tsar
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by Tsar »

MattHanson1990 wrote:
Tsar wrote:My family also keeps bringing up how I need a job. I've applied to at least 100 decent jobs in the last two months and got nothing except one phone interview and a rejection email for that position. It seems that most American families don't understand how difficult it is for Millennial Men.
Did you also call the place or go in in person to speak with someone about application status?
Sometimes I followup with an email or phone-call if that is an option, but most places don't have that as options. They hide emails and phone numbers of the hiring managers or their company's talent recruiters. When it's possible I would go in person.
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MattHanson1990
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by MattHanson1990 »

Tsar wrote:
MattHanson1990 wrote:
Tsar wrote:My family also keeps bringing up how I need a job. I've applied to at least 100 decent jobs in the last two months and got nothing except one phone interview and a rejection email for that position. It seems that most American families don't understand how difficult it is for Millennial Men.
Did you also call the place or go in in person to speak with someone about application status?
Sometimes I followup with an email or phone-call if that is an option, but most places don't have that as options. They hide emails and phone numbers of the hiring managers or their company's talent recruiters. When it's possible I would go in person.
did you even apply to min-wage jobs?
Ghost
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Post by Ghost »

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Last edited by Ghost on March 9th, 2020, 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
MattHanson1990
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by MattHanson1990 »

Ghost wrote:Just a bit of advice that I speak from experience: you will never convince your family of anything. Make a plan and work it. If you want to be happier abroad, you need to work at it like a demon. They will try to stop you and convince you otherwise, but if that is what you want, persevere.

That said, try to stay peaceful at home. No need to doubt intentions and have things get ugly. But know what you want to do and pursue it without buckling under pressure.
I hope to stay with some of my friends who are down to earth after I graduate.
Tsar
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by Tsar »

MattHanson1990 wrote:
Tsar wrote:
MattHanson1990 wrote:
Tsar wrote:My family also keeps bringing up how I need a job. I've applied to at least 100 decent jobs in the last two months and got nothing except one phone interview and a rejection email for that position. It seems that most American families don't understand how difficult it is for Millennial Men.
Did you also call the place or go in in person to speak with someone about application status?
Sometimes I followup with an email or phone-call if that is an option, but most places don't have that as options. They hide emails and phone numbers of the hiring managers or their company's talent recruiters. When it's possible I would go in person.
did you even apply to min-wage jobs?
Not yet, I'm waiting to see how things go with the better jobs I've been applying. If not, then I will just say "f*ck it" and apply at nearby minimum wage jobs.
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Tsar
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by Tsar »

MattHanson1990 wrote:
Ghost wrote:Just a bit of advice that I speak from experience: you will never convince your family of anything. Make a plan and work it. If you want to be happier abroad, you need to work at it like a demon. They will try to stop you and convince you otherwise, but if that is what you want, persevere.

That said, try to stay peaceful at home. No need to doubt intentions and have things get ugly. But know what you want to do and pursue it without buckling under pressure.
I hope to stay with some of my friends who are down to earth after I graduate.
It would have been nice if I had some good friends and live together as a group but I never had a single friend in America. Most of the Millennials that do move out on their own either live with their friends as a group, or they have a boyfriend or girlfriend and get a place as a couple. Someone like me doesn't have that as an option.
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Yohan
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by Yohan »

MattHanson1990 wrote:The title says it all, and no wonder I lost it earlier this afternoon. My sister is keeping me in sh*tty New Mexico for my first job and won't let me move to El Paso or any other part of the country after I graduate college...
It is difficult to give some advice without knowing more details. How old are you? What is your educational background? What kind of work are you doing now and how is your financial situation?

For sure family members cannot control you forever, but if you are still studying, it is maybe better to graduate first of all and later to consider to move away.

For sure in your case to move away just around the corner is not enough - you need a clear cut, a new start with new people in a new place, far enough away so that nobody will follow you easily. This might include the idea to move even to abroad.

It cannot be done over night, some planning and savings are required. Do not expect that any of your family members will change their behavior in future.
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starchild5
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by starchild5 »

Don't do that....American system destroys you by taking the family apart. You should never listen to your parents but love them. That's the mantra I live by and I'm happy beyond measure :)

You need family. Its a psychotic world out there and you need a place to fall back to - otherwise you would be like one of those Americans...who comes to Asia and Jumps to its death when money runs out - Its extremely hard being with our family who does not understand us but that's how the Matrix, system is designed in whatever place you go on earth. I'm in India and I don't understand my family either.

Don't commit Hari Kari ....You are walking on the path that is designed exactly to break you piece by piece....The elites in America ...can't digest good happy American family....They create all sorts of Jobs scarcity to make you miserable and then they want you to blame your family for it.

If you really want to disown...Disown America and Its ways that seeks to destroy Americans
OutWest
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by OutWest »

Yohan wrote:
MattHanson1990 wrote:The title says it all, and no wonder I lost it earlier this afternoon. My sister is keeping me in sh*tty New Mexico for my first job and won't let me move to El Paso or any other part of the country after I graduate college...
It is difficult to give some advice without knowing more details. How old are you? What is your educational background? What kind of work are you doing now and how is your financial situation?

For sure family members cannot control you forever, but if you are still studying, it is maybe better to graduate first of all and later to consider to move away.

For sure in your case to move away just around the corner is not enough - you need a clear cut, a new start with new people in a new place, far enough away so that nobody will follow you easily. This might include the idea to move even to abroad.

It cannot be done over night, some planning and savings are required. Do not expect that any of your family members will change their behavior in future.
Yohan- the young man here lives in the worst part of the country economically and suffers a dysfunctional family to combine with a terrible economy. He needs to move to a different part of the USA, but seems stuck in the NE USA pit.
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E Irizarry R&B Singer
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by E Irizarry R&B Singer »

starchild5 wrote:Don't do that....American system destroys you by taking the family apart. You should never listen to your parents but love them. That's the mantra I live by and I'm happy beyond measure :)

You need family. Its a psychotic world out there and you need a place to fall back to - otherwise you would be like one of those Americans...who comes to Asia and Jumps to its death when money runs out - Its extremely hard being with our family who does not understand us but that's how the Matrix, system is designed in whatever place you go on earth. I'm in India and I don't understand my family either.

Don't commit Hari Kari ....You are walking on the path that is designed exactly to break you piece by piece....The elites in America ...can't digest good happy American family....They create all sorts of Jobs scarcity to make you miserable and then they want you to blame your family for it.

If you really want to disown...Disown America and Its ways that seeks to destroy Americans
Okay my "mitra", listen here: what if a person has been INVOLUNTARILY cut off by the family because it is matriarchally-ran by misandrist women in the family???? Well, they burned those bridges for me. Even my cousins whom I haven't seen in over a decade and we were closer growing up cut me off based on feminist lies against me in my family. NOW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF. This happened before I even knew what the hell feminism is. :shock: but all because I looked like my chauvinistic father, I got shunned and vilified over that. Try being in my shoes, mitra. :-/ I'm not mad at you; I'm just telling you part of my life and how it applies to this thread.

I cannot stay here in the U.S. of Gay. My sister is the only one whom stays in my corner and even that's mitigated to a certain point. She won't let me move in with her because they, my sister and her man, want their "private sex life".

So I'm fu.cked if I don't move out of here. I will have to start a family with a bunch of strangers in another country just to have them treat me better than my biological so-called family. Try putting ice skates on and pushing that bolder uphill. It's virtually impossible but it will be done!!!!!!! :-D
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starchild5
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by starchild5 »

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
starchild5 wrote:Don't do that....American system destroys you by taking the family apart. You should never listen to your parents but love them. That's the mantra I live by and I'm happy beyond measure :)

You need family. Its a psychotic world out there and you need a place to fall back to - otherwise you would be like one of those Americans...who comes to Asia and Jumps to its death when money runs out - Its extremely hard being with our family who does not understand us but that's how the Matrix, system is designed in whatever place you go on earth. I'm in India and I don't understand my family either.

Don't commit Hari Kari ....You are walking on the path that is designed exactly to break you piece by piece....The elites in America ...can't digest good happy American family....They create all sorts of Jobs scarcity to make you miserable and then they want you to blame your family for it.

If you really want to disown...Disown America and Its ways that seeks to destroy Americans
Okay my "mitra", listen here: what if a person has been INVOLUNTARILY cut off by the family because it is matriarchally-ran by misandrist women in the family???? Well, they burned those bridges for me. Even my cousins whom I haven't seen in over a decade and we were closer growing up cut me off based on feminist lies against me in my family. NOW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF. This happened before I even knew what the hell feminism is. :shock: but all because I looked like my chauvinistic father, I got shunned and vilified over that. Try being in my shoes, mitra. :-/ I'm not mad at you; I'm just telling you part of my life and how it applies to this thread.

I cannot stay here in the U.S. of Gay. My sister is the only one whom stays in my corner and even that's mitigated to a certain point. She won't let me move in with her because they, my sister and her man, want their "private sex life".

So I'm fu.cked if I don't move out of here. I will have to start a family with a bunch of strangers in another country just to have them treat me better than my biological so-called family. Try putting ice skates on and pushing that bolder uphill. It's virtually impossible but it will be done!!!!!!! :-D
I understand. You should move out...That's the best for you...I was mentioning in context of Job....He does not have a good job...He won't have anything to fall back to in a Psychotic society ....

My point was - its not easy out there, if one cuts off ties with family and moves out without a solid foundation....There are so many homeless people in America, no easy jobs, no good women, rents are expensive, - suck it up till you find a good job and then move out and don't come back if it is unbearable to live with your family - I try as much as I can and it usually works for me - for others it would not - so its ok to move out BUT with a solid foundation.
MattHanson1990
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Re: My American Family Is Absolutely Superficial and Control

Post by MattHanson1990 »

starchild5 wrote:
E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
starchild5 wrote:Don't do that....American system destroys you by taking the family apart. You should never listen to your parents but love them. That's the mantra I live by and I'm happy beyond measure :)

You need family. Its a psychotic world out there and you need a place to fall back to - otherwise you would be like one of those Americans...who comes to Asia and Jumps to its death when money runs out - Its extremely hard being with our family who does not understand us but that's how the Matrix, system is designed in whatever place you go on earth. I'm in India and I don't understand my family either.

Don't commit Hari Kari ....You are walking on the path that is designed exactly to break you piece by piece....The elites in America ...can't digest good happy American family....They create all sorts of Jobs scarcity to make you miserable and then they want you to blame your family for it.

If you really want to disown...Disown America and Its ways that seeks to destroy Americans
Okay my "mitra", listen here: what if a person has been INVOLUNTARILY cut off by the family because it is matriarchally-ran by misandrist women in the family???? Well, they burned those bridges for me. Even my cousins whom I haven't seen in over a decade and we were closer growing up cut me off based on feminist lies against me in my family. NOW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF. This happened before I even knew what the hell feminism is. :shock: but all because I looked like my chauvinistic father, I got shunned and vilified over that. Try being in my shoes, mitra. :-/ I'm not mad at you; I'm just telling you part of my life and how it applies to this thread.

I cannot stay here in the U.S. of Gay. My sister is the only one whom stays in my corner and even that's mitigated to a certain point. She won't let me move in with her because they, my sister and her man, want their "private sex life".

So I'm fu.cked if I don't move out of here. I will have to start a family with a bunch of strangers in another country just to have them treat me better than my biological so-called family. Try putting ice skates on and pushing that bolder uphill. It's virtually impossible but it will be done!!!!!!! :-D
I understand. You should move out...That's the best for you...I was mentioning in context of Job....He does not have a good job...He won't have anything to fall back to in a Psychotic society ....

My point was - its not easy out there, if one cuts off ties with family and moves out without a solid foundation....There are so many homeless people in America, no easy jobs, no good women, rents are expensive, - suck it up till you find a good job and then move out and don't come back if it is unbearable to live with your family - I try as much as I can and it usually works for me - for others it would not - so its ok to move out BUT with a solid foundation.
Places like California are really expensive, but El Paso is a cheaper city to live in than Albuquerque. Also, the 29 year old woman I met on the greyhound bus to El Paso was able to to survive in the US on a little money.
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