The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

[starchild5]

They do look like aliens with the freak contacts I hate (or aren't they, starchild........... )

LOL...Yeah....Sometimes I go for the "different one" for a change ..She claimed to be a model..So uses contacts I believe...

The thing that is really Alien like was there down to earth , non-judgmental attitude ....If only Indian girls half her looks would be like her in terms of being respectful..

[davewe]

While the easiest thing might be to question your methods, your social skills or even your mental health - I don't want to go there. A couple of years ago there was a long thread started by a guy who showed up in the Philippines, hated the place, hated the women and blamed every forum in existence for fooling him. It was a bizarre and lively discussion.

You haven't made it clear what you were looking for and maybe you're not sure yourself: a fun week of casual sex; the possibility of an actual relationship; finding a wife. Each of these scenarios requires a somewhat different approach. For example, I wouldn't think that going to Angeles is the best decision for finding a wife - yet saying that I know a couple guys married to girls they met in Angeles.

It also strikes me that a person who is socially awkward will be overwhelmed in Manila. Hell, I went to school in NYC and even I can't stand Manila.

I think the best thing that I did (and it was strictly by accident) is I found a mentor. I put trust in him because he had already done what I wanted to do and I figured what the hell. So my suggestion for you for the future (whether to the Philippines or anywhere else) is find someone to guide you. The person should be similar to you in goals and place in life. For example a good looking 21 year old guy only interested in how many girls he can get his paws on, might not be the best mentor for you.

I can say categorically based on my experience and the experience of maybe a couple hundred guys I know is that middle-aged guys (and truth be told I can barely call myself middle-aged anymore) can get young and attractive girls in the Philippines. It may not be as easy as walking into the supermarket and paying at the checkout counter - but it's not that much harder. But you still have to know a little bit about what you are doing and it sounds like you came unprepared.

One of the reasons I did the online thing before I arrived was not just to prime the pump, but to try to get a feeling for the women and the culture. So when I arrived, while I was no expert, I wasn't a complete novice either. By then I chatted with many Filipinas and had a general feeling for their attitudes.

I am one of those members who have posted often and generally positively about my experiences in the Philippines. But even I did not post a Will N Dowd style account of my experiences. I knew that too many members would question me, doubt my accuracy, demand photos, etc. I'm too damn old for such nonsense. I know what I did and to whom I did it Even my blog only scratches the surface of what I have seen there.

Bottom line, if you ever choose to return to the Philippines, or travel abroad to another country - find someone who can help guide you. You won't be sorry!

[newlifeinphilippines]

ouch. maybe i should skip india then. Sounds brutal. I mean women aren't my main focus but i dont want to go to a country where the women are nuts LOL. Do you think westernization or christian indians are different though? Id only pursue westernized/christian indians and i wont be traveling real soon either.

No No No....Don't miss India....You will learn a lot...What I meant was..You should not go to India with a rigid mind set...Let it come to you...be free...take what you like..reject the rest....

You will find women as open as Americans and as conservative as Saudi's...There is everything in India...You will get the girl of your dreams...just like that as well or the reverse...anything is possible ....I'm trying to be as Objective as possible on India....You just need to be open to all experiences in India..

world traveler said the indian women on average were uglier than philippines. Sounds like a waste going there for a wife cause i think most filipina women are ugly (general population when looking around) so I could only imagine india LOL

[newlifeinphilippines]

I dont know wh y this guy is worried about love he is 45 and never had sex with a woman that loves him. Unless you want to marry a girl that is in her 30's and is very ordinary looking (which you could do) then your not gonna get passionate true love like in the movies that your thinking. Im younger than you and even ive accepted that I probably will never find a girl that will truly love me for me because im not a handsome guy and most foreign women see us different anyways. Which is fine by me im just gonna get a young attractive woman and I wont even care.

[globe-trotter]

While the easiest thing might be to question your methods, your social skills or even your mental health - I don't want to go there. A couple of years ago there was a long thread started by a guy who showed up in the Philippines, hated the place, hated the women and blamed every forum in existence for fooling him. It was a bizarre and lively discussion.

You haven't made it clear what you were looking for and maybe you're not sure yourself: a fun week of casual sex; the possibility of an actual relationship; finding a wife. Each of these scenarios requires a somewhat different approach. For example, I wouldn't think that going to Angeles is the best decision for finding a wife - yet saying that I know a couple guys married to girls they met in Angeles.

It also strikes me that a person who is socially awkward will be overwhelmed in Manila. Hell, I went to school in NYC and even I can't stand Manila.

I think the best thing that I did (and it was strictly by accident) is I found a mentor. I put trust in him because he had already done what I wanted to do and I figured what the hell. So my suggestion for you for the future (whether to the Philippines or anywhere else) is find someone to guide you. The person should be similar to you in goals and place in life. For example a good looking 21 year old guy only interested in how many girls he can get his paws on, might not be the best mentor for you.

I can say categorically based on my experience and the experience of maybe a couple hundred guys I know is that middle-aged guys (and truth be told I can barely call myself middle-aged anymore) can get young and attractive girls in the Philippines. It may not be as easy as walking into the supermarket and paying at the checkout counter - but it's not that much harder. But you still have to know a little bit about what you are doing and it sounds like you came unprepared.

One of the reasons I did the online thing before I arrived was not just to prime the pump, but to try to get a feeling for the women and the culture. So when I arrived, while I was no expert, I wasn't a complete novice either. By then I chatted with many Filipinas and had a general feeling for their attitudes.

I am one of those members who have posted often and generally positively about my experiences in the Philippines. But even I did not post a Will N Dowd style account of my experiences. I knew that too many members would question me, doubt my accuracy, demand photos, etc. I'm too damn old for such nonsense. I know what I did and to whom I did it Even my blog only scratches the surface of what I have seen there.

Bottom line, if you ever choose to return to the Philippines, or travel abroad to another country - find someone who can help guide you. You won't be sorry!

Ideally, my goal in the Philippines was to enjoy the 'girlfriend experience' with one or two women that fall into that 'gray area' of not quite being a prostitute, but not looking to get married, either; Maybe a very informal p4p, where the cost of admission is to pay the girl's way (dinners, drinks, entertainment, etc), not unlike having a girlfriend in real life. In such a setup, I was hoping that some passion might develop, and I would get a taste of what it's like to have a fling with a 'real' girl. This brief relationship would only last the length of my stay in the Philippines, as I have no interest in engaging in long distance romances.
Failing this, my 'Plan B' would have been to simply hire a girl from one of the bars for a couple of nights. But she would have to be a relatively naive newcomer, as a hardened professional working girl would not provide the experience I'm seeking.
I don't think I went to the Philis without a plan, it's just that my plan didn't quite work out as expected.

"A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished" -Goethe

[xiongmao]

I used to be a man with a plan. Now I'm content just to live in different places and seize opportunities that come up. Like my current landlady sold the house I live in, so that seemed an ideal opportunity to go and get my CELTA. I had no idea I would do a CELTA before September of this year, that was not the plan at all but it has just happened.

As to ladies, well I met some great 30 somethings in China and Thailand although you have to face up to the fact that hot ladies who have never married tend to have issues and if a lady is too hot then she will be a terrible liability anyway.

BTW don't be too eager to get married - current landlord and landlady are just stuck with each other now, whereas I am free to do stupid stuff like quit good jobs and go live anywhere on the planet at a moment's notice.

[globe-trotter]

BTW don't be too eager to get married

Not only am I not eager to get married, I avoid it like scabies.

[newlifeinphilippines]

you just need to find a girl you connect with or "Does it for you" then youll change your mind. Not every girl will do it for you. Hell even a pretty girl often wont do it for you. Thats why most of those hoes or dating sluts are worthless cause they are easy but thats about all they are and you wouldn't want to wife them or maybe even make a girlfriend. There is only a few percent of girls that really rock my world. when you find her you may consider marriage.

[davewe]

Ideally, my goal in the Philippines was to enjoy the 'girlfriend experience' with one or two women that fall into that 'gray area' of not quite being a prostitute, but not looking to get married, either; Maybe a very informal p4p, where the cost of admission is to pay the girl's way (dinners, drinks, entertainment, etc), not unlike having a girlfriend in real life. In such a setup, I was hoping that some passion might develop, and I would get a taste of what it's like to have a fling with a 'real' girl. This brief relationship would only last the length of my stay in the Philippines, as I have no interest in engaging in long distance romances.
Failing this, my 'Plan B' would have been to simply hire a girl from one of the bars for a couple of nights. But she would have to be a relatively naive newcomer, as a hardened professional working girl would not provide the experience I'm seeking.
I don't think I went to the Philis without a plan, it's just that my plan didn't quite work out as expected.

Well this at least fleshes things out. You did have a plan, but was it a plan consistent with what you did, or with reality in general? Had you just been looking for p4p in general that would have been no problem. Angeles, EDSA in Manila or most other major cities can provide that. But you wanted a newcomer, not a hardened professional. Nothing wrong with that goal, but how were you proposing to find such a newcomer and more importantly how is this the fault of the "not what it's cracked up to be" Philippines?

Your Plan A was a brief 1-week relationship - a vacation gf situation. That can happen in the Philippines, but with only 8 days and no preparatory online work before the trip, I don't think it's very realistic. Girls there are very wary of the type of foreigner who is just looking for a vacation girlfriend.

I've told the story before, but my now wife refused to meet me the 1st time I came to PI because she believed (and I gave her reason to believe) that I was looking for fun and would be meeting multiple girls.

Your advantage as a middle aged man is the fact that many Filipinas believe (rightly or wrongly) that a middle aged foreigner brings a stability and maturity that a young man doesn't. IOW, she may fall into bed with you quickly but only if she thinks you are a LTR possibility.

In your earlier posts you emphasized your social awkwardness or quirkiness as your possible failing. But your "failure" doesn't appear to have much to do with that based on these stated goals.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Ideally, my goal in the Philippines was to enjoy the 'girlfriend experience' with one or two women that fall into that 'gray area' of not quite being a prostitute, but not looking to get married, either; Maybe a very informal p4p, where the cost of admission is to pay the girl's way (dinners, drinks, entertainment, etc), not unlike having a girlfriend in real life. In such a setup, I was hoping that some passion might develop, and I would get a taste of what it's like to have a fling with a 'real' girl. This brief relationship would only last the length of my stay in the Philippines, as I have no interest in engaging in long distance romances.
Failing this, my 'Plan B' would have been to simply hire a girl from one of the bars for a couple of nights. But she would have to be a relatively naive newcomer, as a hardened professional working girl would not provide the experience I'm seeking.
I don't think I went to the Philis without a plan, it's just that my plan didn't quite work out as expected.

Well this at least fleshes things out. You did have a plan, but was it a plan consistent with what you did, or with reality in general? Had you just been looking for p4p in general that would have been no problem. Angeles, EDSA in Manila or most other major cities can provide that. But you wanted a newcomer, not a hardened professional. Nothing wrong with that goal, but how were you proposing to find such a newcomer and more importantly how is this the fault of the "not what it's cracked up to be" Philippines?

Your Plan A was a brief 1-week relationship - a vacation gf situation. That can happen in the Philippines, but with only 8 days and no preparatory online work before the trip, I don't think it's very realistic. Girls there are very wary of the type of foreigner who is just looking for a vacation girlfriend.

I've told the story before, but my now wife refused to meet me the 1st time I came to PI because she believed (and I gave her reason to believe) that I was looking for fun and would be meeting multiple girls.

Your advantage as a middle aged man is the fact that many Filipinas believe (rightly or wrongly) that a middle aged foreigner brings a stability and maturity that a young man doesn't. IOW, she may fall into bed with you quickly but only if she thinks you are a LTR possibility.

In your earlier posts you emphasized your social awkwardness or quirkiness as your possible failing. But your "failure" doesn't appear to have much to do with that based on these stated goals.

I was lucky cause the first girl i met in the bar i wound up barfining and clicking with it was almost like a girlfriend but she had to go home every night etc. but she wasn't attractive etc. I flew down to cebu and thats when i started having the true girlfriend experience one could have with a bargirl so to speak. my trip was a total of month and half though. There is no way i could have acheived anything in 8 days. But this last trip i found a girl online so i had a ready made girlfriend right away so it wouldn't have mattered how long my trip was. And i found that milf girl during a fight during my stay right away. You can find vacation girlfriends but its easiest online or from a bar neither of which he seemed to really do much work into. None of this is gonna be satisfying for a guy looking for love though. I know how he feels. He needs to do more prep work online or live overseas none of this 1 week millionaire nonsense. He needs 6 months to a year minimimum.

[Jester]

You can't make traveling about chasing women not even philippines. you gotta have other goals in mind.

Right on several levels.

+1

[Jester]

...seeked treatment first.

SOUGHT

[droid]

...seeked treatment first.

SOUGHT

haha thanks,
you know, i thought about it for a whole minute and couldn't remember that for some reason

[lasttry]

My suggestion to the OP is as follows:

1) Make himself as physically attractive as possible, without going to the PUA extreme of doing things just for women. Being lean and athletic is good for health reasons, and the attractiveness is a side-effect. Dressing nicely helps in the work world and with police, apart from any benefit with women, and so is something to do regardless of what you decide about women. Think business casual or any variation on that. Ditto for bathing regularly, getting a decent haircut, etc. Develop decent social skills. Again, these are useful in general life, not just with women.

2) Fix the bloating issue, assuming it's real. It sounds like bullshit, but maybe not. Try a 30-day water fast. Fasting cures a lot of health problems.

3) Forget about going overseas. You have severe psychological issues and going overseas will just compound the difficulty of resolving them.

4) Forget younger women. Given all your psychological issues, you need to look exclusively at women 50 and up. The only thing you necessarily lose with older women is intense p***y smell (women past age 40 have almost no smell), but doesn't sound like you like that anyway. Some older women are broken down in the body or lacking libido. Move on if you encounter one of these. Older women don't menstruate, don't get pregnant and don't expect you to support them. Some older women even have very tight pussies, if you want that.

5) If you don't like touching women naked, then you don't like sex. Case closed. Nothing wrong with masturbation, BTW. Masturbation has been my preferred sexual outlet for most of my life, even though I do like touching women, and I do like the heat and moistness and smell of women's pussies when they aroused. If those things repel you, then you are definitely a candidate for full-time masturbation. Learn to do it properly however. In particular, at age 45, you need to avoid peak orgasms. In fact this is true even with partner sex.

6) If you have mixed feelings about touching women, then I would suggest you get comfortable touching them with clothes on first, then move to touching them naked. The way to do this is with Argentine tango or ballroom dancing.

7) Ignore all this advice about being more outgoing. Changing your personality is never a good idea. Accept yourself for what you are. If you do what I recommend about making yourself physically attractive as possible (including fixing that bs-sounding bloating) and taking up dancing and being open to older women, the women should come to you without you having to do anything. If you have reasonable social skills, then they'll even do most of the work of getting the two of you into bed.

8. Once that happens, you still have to perform sexually. I suggest you get over your homophobia and practicing f***ing yourself in the ass with a dildo to see what women feel when they are being f***ed. The anus is not a vagina, of course, but it does give the general idea. Or simply imagine being f***ed in the ass while masturbating. If you can, imagine yourself having a vagina and being f***ed. The idea is to learn to f**k properly. You don't want to just pound away and then explode. This is junk sex and only appeals to the coarser women. Junk sex like this is why a lot of women burn out on men. (RooshV boasts of practicing junk sex like this in one of his books, BTW. He also repeatedly says he makes no attempt to make things enjoyable for the woman in bed. Only a PUA would openly admit to such a thing.) You need to learn to go slow. While masturbating, make sure you can keep going for hours on end. Try to become multi-orgasmic. Don't use a tight grip on yourself. Possibly practice with a fleshlight, the original model which is the loosest, to prepare for a vagina. As I noted some older women have very tight vaginas, but not all of them. So you need to learn to work with the loose ones as well.

[Jester]

Yeah i agree manila is way better on all counts. Hotels are too expensive in manila and I aint moving into a condo.

I was thinking of renting a condo in Ortigas City (in Manila) for 1 or 2 months, when I can. Main purpose is not for chick-hunting, but still, I am curious why you disdain condo rentals?