Winston wrote:A few updates and additional points:
1. I never told you all this. But lisa wasnt loyal to me either. While i was away in Taiwan, she dated an indian guy and even slept with him. She confessed all this to me openly. So she said it didnt count as cheating. Most of my friends said not to take her back but i was madly in love and thought she was my soulmate. So i fought to win her back. Now she misses him and is trying to go back to him but hes had it with her.
2. I found a way to contact that Indian guy she was dating. When lisa found out, she freaked out and lost it. She wrote me a suicide note and acted hurt and betrayed. What a basketcase. Anyway i had a friendly chat with him and found out that lisa lied to both of us about many things. So she is fully capable of lying to suit her purpose.
Anyhow, none of you are answering my question about why lisa would spin things against me like an enemy does. Why would a girlfriend do that? And why cant she be like other chinese girls i see out in public who are relaxed and happy with their boyfriends and not anxious or impatient or in a rush to get somewhere?
Lisa is definitely not fair or reasonable or clear headed or logical in her behavior and choices.
I told you, it's a textbook case of BPD Borderline Personality Disorder, these other symptoms you describe match as well. The compulsive, shameless lying, the spinning or making-up of facts, the unfaithfulness and suicide threats all check.
You kept going back not just because of the love inspired by her "infatuation" with you, but also because your brain was trying to resolve the
cognitive dissonance created by someone expressing deep "true" love for you while simultaneously engaging in open unfaithfulness.
You just have to remember you're not dealing with a human being, but rather with a virus or body-snatcher, there's really nobody upstairs and the wiring is all f*ked up. There is as much empathy in there as a lizard has for a moth.
That's why you feel mentally raped and even after "getting over it" you're still trying to find a logical resolution.
The usual advice is to run like hell from these women when the symptoms are identified, but this is not practical, good or healthy advice, because once you're snared it is very difficult. The only thing is to have the awareness of all this so a gradual and caring exit can be planned. You're lucky in that she "dumped" you suddenly, as they usually tend to cling.
Winston wrote:So wheres the advice? That sounded like a pessimistic assessment. No advice was given. Whats your suggestion? I don't feel complete without a chinese woman. I cant just get a wife in the Philippines. Vietnam may be a possibility. But China has billions of women. There must be a good match for me somewhere.
Vietnam seems great, as I've posted before. It's just 19 year old after 19 year old expressing interest.
I'm tempted to skip China altogether.
Winston wrote:The girl im talking to now and in love with, shes only 28 and her last boyfriend that she loved died in an accident. Thats why shes single. She never got over him. Until she met me that is. We connect in a deep way that makes us both feel alive and happy. And we have similar attitudes and views. Plus shes a hopeless romantic like me, which is rare because chinese women arent usually hopeless romantic types.
You seem to get invested too quickly, be careful you're not making the same mistake. That "deep" and fast connection can be very deceiving.
Why would she tell you about the guy that died so soon? talking about her past is kind of a red flag in my book, I don't like to hear about their previous crap.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
