Her Debt Es Su Debt

[Teal Lantern]

Another (soon-to-be-very) poor guy finds out he's also married to cupcake's $55K student loans.
Plus two small kids.
http://www.city-data.com/forum/relation ... loans.html

[Cornfed]

LOL, she graduates from nursing school and then quits because it "wasn't for her". Maybe she thought work was a barrel of fun that men had previously been selfishly hoarding for themselves. Only females could be that irresponsible and think, rightly or wrongly, that there would be no consequences.

[Adama]

They aren't really a couple. They are two people who got together and had kids. There is no solidarity in their marriage. He barely even knows her. They don't share what's on each others' minds, and most especially, she is very disobedient and he is a complete wuss.

BTW, for you gents out there who claim being broke is so unattractive to women, how did this fool get a woman while working at subway sandwich shop?

[gnosis]

I understand that nursing is an awful occupation, but why accumulate $55K in debt learning how to be a nurse if you are not actually going to be a nurse? I sympathize with guys who do training programs and lose out because the market changes after they complete the program, but this woman could have gotten a job as a nurse if she had wanted one. She sounds like a naive flake.

Having said that, the cost of higher education is so high now in the states that it is ridiculous. You shouldn't be required to mortgage the rest of your life for some post graduate education.

[Ghost]

.

[Teal Lantern]

They aren't really a couple. They are two people who got together and had kids. There is no solidarity in their marriage. He barely even knows her. They don't share what's on each others' minds, and most especially, she is very disobedient and he is a complete wuss.

Before the gavel comes down on their frivorce, he'll "do the right thing" and try to pay off her student loans.
If he takes out/cosigns a new loan to do this, HER debt becomes MARITAL debt.
They'll be "couple" enough for the courts to award him half of that debt, upon frivorce, and for creditors to come after him, later, when she defaults on the OTHER half. Joint and several liability.
In the meantime, every dollar he puts into paying off debt will be one less dollar she can spend on shoes and whatnot.
She'll resent him for curtailing her fun and use that as an excuse for other bad behavior. See: hostile dependency

BTW, for you gents out there who claim being broke is so unattractive to women,

He was employed and certainly had less debt than her when they met. That's a juicy target to someone in wallet-seeking mode (WSM), with $50K in debt and looking for the SAHM retirement plan.
For the masses "debt free" == "rich".

how did this fool get a woman while working at subway sandwich shop?

By working a clean-cut job with "room for advancement" AND being too foolish to not end their conversations at "Thank you. Have a nice day."
Probably was the envy of his co-workers for a while, there, though.

[Cornfed]

BTW, for you gents out there who claim being broke is so unattractive to women, how did this fool get a woman while working at subway sandwich shop?

Surely this thread answers your question. She gets to palm her student loan off onto him. It doesn't make any difference how long it takes him to pay it off.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

Se dice su deuda, cornfed. The ugly American stereotype is so pervasive I swear.

[Adama]

BTW, for you gents out there who claim being broke is so unattractive to women, how did this fool get a woman while working at subway sandwich shop?

Surely this thread answers your question. She gets to palm her student loan off onto him. It doesn't make any difference how long it takes him to pay it off.

That is just further proof that men only see women as they want to see them. Do you honestly believe she planned ahead of time to use him for student loans, when his job is working at subway sandwich shop? Wouldnt she be better off going after someone with a more sterling career, or perhaps a man of a greater net worth? So you are basically saying this woman is a gold digger because she married a man who works at a sandwich shop? I mean seriously, that is what you are saying.

[Adama]

They aren't really a couple. They are two people who got together and had kids. There is no solidarity in their marriage. He barely even knows her. They don't share what's on each others' minds, and most especially, she is very disobedient and he is a complete wuss.

Before the gavel comes down on their frivorce, he'll "do the right thing" and try to pay off her student loans.
If he takes out/cosigns a new loan to do this, HER debt becomes MARITAL debt.
They'll be "couple" enough for the courts to award him half of that debt, upon frivorce, and for creditors to come after him, later, when she defaults on the OTHER half. Joint and several liability.
In the meantime, every dollar he puts into paying off debt will be one less dollar she can spend on shoes and whatnot.
She'll resent him for curtailing her fun and use that as an excuse for other bad behavior. See: hostile dependency

BTW, for you gents out there who claim being broke is so unattractive to women,

He was employed and certainly had less debt than her when they met. That's a juicy target to someone in wallet-seeking mode (WSM), with $50K in debt and looking for the SAHM retirement plan.
For the masses "debt free" == "rich".

how did this fool get a woman while working at subway sandwich shop?

By working a clean-cut job with "room for advancement" AND being too foolish to not end their conversations at "Thank you. Have a nice day."
Probably was the envy of his co-workers for a while, there, though.

Believe me, I have respect for you and Cornfed as men, but here the two of you are showing some extremely warped thinking processes. You believe what you are saying makes sense. It does not make sense.

What happened is exactly what happened. She thought she could have a wonderful career in nursing. She got out there and realized things aren't peachy (and are rather bleak). So she quits nursing and gets a job under the table, and stops paying her student loans.

Probably the reason she is screwed up is cause her parents never taught her about finances and how important they are. Parents should train their kids about basic economics. Her parents failed her there. And because she is undisciplined, she will not follow her man. Neither is he willing to actually lead.

Does that mean she thought of him as a student loan target from the start? Are you seriously believing that? Do you think so little of women that you actually believe she planned to dump her student loans on him before she even started school, way back when she first met him? She said to herself, "I am going to take Mr Subway Sandwich Shop Asst-Manager to the cleaners!" If she is a gold digger, don't you think she would have set her sights a bit higher?

They are not really a couple. They live independent lives. He has no control over her, and she has no respect for him. That is the problem. The solution is to choose a woman who will obey.

[Adama]

I understand that nursing is an awful occupation, but why accumulate $55K in debt learning how to be a nurse if you are not actually going to be a nurse? I sympathize with guys who do training programs and lose out because the market changes after they complete the program, but this woman could have gotten a job as a nurse if she had wanted one. She sounds like a naive flake.

Having said that, the cost of higher education is so high now in the states that it is ridiculous. You shouldn't be required to mortgage the rest of your life for some post graduate education.

I have a former female friend who spent about $140,000 getting her nursing degree from a prestigious university. She has a job paying about $65,000 - $75,000, but she hates every living moment of it. She's not that hot. She married a guy who is a self taught web developer (can you get anymore geeky than that?), who makes about $65,000 or so. She was sad for him, because she said when they married, her debt would become his. He didnt go to college and had no debt. But she is working so that she can pay her debt. I don't talk to her anymore, but I wouldnt doubt that after she finally pays it off, she will quit nursing altogther. They live in a large apartment building. They probably won't have any prospects for home ownership for a long time due to her level of debt.

So you see, a woman who is somewhat good would work knowing she has to pay back that debt, cause it will not go away. A bad woman, or a woman without understanding (not necessarily the same thing), will not pay back her debt. You see, my former friend is paying on her debt, because she understands how important it is to do so. You can't live in the USA and not pay your student loan debt. That's because she's not ignorant. But this girl from that thread is ignorant. She wants to bury her head in the sand, as if it will go away. It will not, and even if they both part ways, it will destroy BOTH of their lives for many years to come.

That's because she's worthless as a wife. I am sorry to say that. This is not an indictment of all of women, just this particular woman who lacks understanding.

[Cornfed]

I have a former female friend who spent about $140,000 getting her nursing degree from a prestigious university. She has a job paying about $65,000 - $75,000, but she hates every living moment of I ... she will quit nursing altogther.

Well of course she hates every moment of it. That is why it is called work. If work didn't suck you wouldn't have to be paid to do it. If she quits nursing as you say then she is a selfish jerk because she has kept someone else out of the running for one of the few well paying, secure jobs left while intending to vacate it herself.

[Adama]

I have a former female friend who spent about $140,000 getting her nursing degree from a prestigious university. She has a job paying about $65,000 - $75,000, but she hates every living moment of I ... she will quit nursing altogther.

Well of course she hates every moment of it. That is why it is called work. If work didn't suck you wouldn't have to be paid to do it. If she quits nursing as you say then she is a selfish jerk because she has kept someone else out of the running for one of the few well paying, secure jobs left while intending to vacate it herself.

Well I see your point. I think that is because women werent built to work the same way men are. Men are supposed to provide. In other words, men are supposed to work. Women are supposed to take care of the children and the household. That is what they were designed for. So I can't realistically blame women for wanting to quit working. They were made to raise children, not boss someone around at work for 8-12 hours a day.

Nursing especially is one of the crappiest professions, if you can't managed to ascend the hierarchy. Probably 80% of nursing is glorified baby sitting, fetching water and dealing with body fluids. Maybe 20% of nurses have an awesome job they love. Most of them hate it, but they don't want to bother going through any retraining. Nursing is at the bottom of the health care professions. Occupational Assistants and Physical Therapy Assistants often make more money than nurses with less responsibility. Same with X Ray technologists and everyone else, except for Respiratory Therapists, which some might also describe as crappy.

But the thing is, you men only see that which you want to see. Her paying back her loans and being a good wife and mother will be overlooked. Instead you are looking at the grand, macro scale, which doesnt even matter.

She took someone's slot, which is true. Why does that really matter though? Because someone else got bumped? That other person must have found another way to get ahead in life. Besides that, the person she probably bumped is probably another woman.

See, you guys are looking for reasons to focus on the negative. Doesnt that tell you something? Instead, you should be focusing on the positive. You will always find negativity in almost any given situation. Focusing on the negative is only going to show you the negative. Just as you've done here, you'll gloss over any positivity just because you chosen only to see things in a negative light. That is not going to be very helpful in this life, which is already full of negativity from the start.

This isnt ignoring the truth by focusing on the positive. It is focusing on the things in life that matter. Who cares if she took some other woman's spot? Are you really going to be angry because she took someone else's slot, when that person wasnt even you?

Sure in the grand scheme of things it affects society, but society has already gone down the tubes. Who are you living your life for? For those other morons out there, who would stab you in the back if they could? Is that who you are upset for? Those other men wouldnt care about you, just as the women wouldnt.

Most women bought into the lie of feminism, that they had to have a career first and a family second. Men bought into that lie also. It's just how things are. Being upset at people for trying to live their lives is not going to help us as individuals. Almost everyone is caught in this cultural snare. It is only after something really terrible happens that we turn around to look and see how bad things are.

[Teal Lantern]

What happened is exactly what happened. She thought she could have a wonderful career in nursing. She got out there and realized things aren't peachy (and are rather bleak). So she quits nursing and gets a job under the table, and stops paying her student loans.

Probably the reason she is screwed up is cause her parents never taught her about finances and how important they are. Parents should train their kids about basic economics. Her parents failed her there. And because she is undisciplined, she will not follow her man. Neither is he willing to actually lead.

No one would blame the parents, if the man had pulled that.

Does that mean she thought of him as a student loan target from the start? Are you seriously believing that?

No, and never said that. I think he was chosen out of the orbiters that she thought would make a good enough partner and was also willing to commit. This is a well-known mating strategy ...
http://www.salon.com/2013/03/11/life_ca ... _feminist/

Salon: In the book, you talk about asking or demanding of men to step up to the plate, and also seeing them as equal partners in every sphere. What about women whose partners just aren’t egalitarian?

Sheryl Sandberg: ... If that partner is female you are in good shape because you are likely to split up things very evenly; the data’s very strong that same-sex couples split responsibilities much more evenly. If you are a female and your partner is likely to be male, this is something to really pay attention to. I say in the book, date the bad boys, date the crazy boys, but do not marry them. Marry the boys who are going to change half of the diapers.

Do you think so little of women that you actually believe she planned to dump her student loans on him before she even started school, way back when she first met him? She said to herself, "I am going to take Mr Subway Sandwich Shop Asst-Manager to the cleaners!"

No, in the early stages it's not personal, they just know they'll eventually need "some guy" to help them out.
Do you think so little of women that you view them as naive children who "know not what they do"?

If she is a gold digger,

Where did I call her "gold digger"?

don't you think she would have set her sights a bit higher?

Set? Sure, but "higher" men didn't choose to marry her.

[Adama]

What happened is exactly what happened. She thought she could have a wonderful career in nursing. She got out there and realized things aren't peachy (and are rather bleak). So she quits nursing and gets a job under the table, and stops paying her student loans.

Probably the reason she is screwed up is cause her parents never taught her about finances and how important they are. Parents should train their kids about basic economics. Her parents failed her there. And because she is undisciplined, she will not follow her man. Neither is he willing to actually lead.

No one would blame the parents, if the man had pulled that.

Does that mean she thought of him as a student loan target from the start? Are you seriously believing that?

No, and never said that. I think he was chosen out of the orbiters that she thought would make a good enough partner and was also willing to commit. This is a well-known mating strategy ...
http://www.salon.com/2013/03/11/life_ca ... _feminist/

Salon: In the book, you talk about asking or demanding of men to step up to the plate, and also seeing them as equal partners in every sphere. What about women whose partners just aren’t egalitarian?

Sheryl Sandberg: ... If that partner is female you are in good shape because you are likely to split up things very evenly; the data’s very strong that same-sex couples split responsibilities much more evenly. If you are a female and your partner is likely to be male, this is something to really pay attention to. I say in the book, date the bad boys, date the crazy boys, but do not marry them. Marry the boys who are going to change half of the diapers.

Do you think so little of women that you actually believe she planned to dump her student loans on him before she even started school, way back when she first met him? She said to herself, "I am going to take Mr Subway Sandwich Shop Asst-Manager to the cleaners!"

No, in the early stages it's not personal, they just know they'll eventually need "some guy" to help them out.
Do you think so little of women that you view them as naive children who "know not what they do"?

If she is a gold digger,

Where did I call her "gold digger"?

don't you think she would have set her sights a bit higher?

Set? Sure, but "higher" men didn't choose to marry her.

Have it your way.