Can You Be Happier Abroad? Maybe You'd Be Happier Back Home?

[Jester]

You sound just like any other negative complainer MGTOW'er. Ugh...No wonder I stopped going to the MGTOW and NiceGuy's forum. You should go over there if this is how you really feel...

Bantering is OK, ZBoy, but don't chase him away. He is a great poster with lots of valuable info!

The critic is your friend, he points out what others don't, so you can prepare, and go in with eyes open.

[anamericaninbangkok]

If you've only been married to an Asian girl for a few months, it's probably not the brightest move to bring her to the US. If you've been with her for years, she's not 22 years old, and your relationship is stable, I don't see a problem with it. If a relationship is going to fold, it's going to fold. I agree with Kai in that if you're so insecure you think your wife is going to do a runner or hook up with someone else, you shouldn't be married to her in the first place. Will they be influenced? Most definitely. But my wife's already influenced by me simply by association and to some extent, vice-versa.

In some ways this is a good thing, in some ways not. But the bottom line is that EVERY woman will be a pain in the a** at some point. And she'll view you as a pain in the a** as well. But whether she bails, f***s around, gets pissed because you won't take her to the lake, or whatever, this is determined by what sort of person she really is. This is something to figure out before getting married, not after. If you can't trust her then why get married at all?

My wife and I are not that new to each other. It's probably impossible to bring someone to the US that quickly anyway. If I wanted to get technical about it, my wife and I technically been married at least a year, if you take out the legally married in the US part. We know each other very very well. She and I both love laughing at silly trolls like this. She is a moderator and lead advisor for forum that mostly includes women doing basically the same thing we did.

There are many women that are staying with men far far worse than I am and leaving is not even an option in their brains. Combination of face/shame and many other factors. I get to hear all the personal dramas of these Chinese K1 and K2 visa women via my wife. Some of them are still in China while many others are now in the US. Chinese women have different mentality and values systems than, lets say a Latino woman does for example. Something that might make one of those leave a man, is literally a non-factor for a typical Chinese woman.

I could keep any woman I marry regardless. Maybe that makes me different than other men here, but I never have those kinds of problems others like to fear monger with. Also I fully understood the culture of the woman I married, in some situations I understood certain Chinese culture requirements better than she did. I also speak the language. I can spot a green card chaser in a few minutes or less. I have dated many Chinese women and I have seen just about every stereotype chick there is to offer from there. I never tried to marry a pro. I stayed away from bars and KTV when looking for a wife. I did my research just like you did yours. I have an AW for an ex-wife for years, got the debts to prove it. Been there, done that. I've done business with China for years too. Just like you did business in Thailand and other Asian countries. That is why you and I can write guides on this shit.

Regardless of our experiences, just like you said, if these women have issues like that, they had them before you got married to them. What you see is what you get! One of the reasons I chose my wife is because she can handle living anywhere! That includes the US. My wife has weaknesses just like anyone else does. If anything, our relationship depends upon me ending it if anything. The shit these fearmongers claim is not one of them.

There is a reason why Chinese people like making Chinatowns everywhere too. They suck at integrating with other cultures. That is good and bad in certain ways for sure, but for me, it suits me just fine. Even ABC Chinese do not always assimilate into American culture in the first generation. I like Chinese culture because I share much of the same ideology. As far as family is concerned, it's perfect. She has seen some of the things Americans do to school their children and she is shocked and feels that we need to make sure we are more strict on those things and protect them from that. It brings a smile to my face every time. She and I are always on the same page. If anyone is going to become "americanized" it might be your kids once they grow up to at least teenager stage. Once they are grown, that is their business, none of yours.

Many guys here in the US can have what I have too. Listening to fearmongers with "suspect as hell" agendas, is not going to help them. There are many English teachers and other expats that married a Chinese wife, moved back to the US and none I have spoke to or read blogs from regret anything about it. Hell my immigration lawyer Lee Solomon has a Chinese wife he got via the K1 Visa and he wrote a book about the whole thing. Anytime I speak with him, you can see the happiness in him. Usually talking to a rich high power lawyer feels tense, but not with him. Here is a link to his book below. I should have added this to my guide......

http://www.amazon.com/Price-Too-Great-L ... 1598588400

I assumed you had been with your girl for a considerable period of time Kai and wasn't referring to your situation.

There are some men in Thailand and elsewhere who meet a woman, ho or not, and after a month or two attempt to get them a visa back to the States. Inevitably they're turned down. Relationships can be a bitch at times and having a woman from a different culture relying on you in a culture they don't understand can make this more difficult. If her motives are suspect and she does manage to get a visa, can anything other than failure really be expected?

[Falcon]

Are migrant workers happier abroad in Thailand, or at home? Well, it's a complicated story.

Thailand Migration Report 2011
http://www.un.or.th/documents/tmr-2011.pdf

Looks like Central Americans in the US:
http://www.hrw.org/en/features/migrant-workers-thailand

[Repatriate]

Are migrant workers happier abroad in Thailand, or at home? Well, it's a complicated story.

Thailand Migration Report 2011
http://www.un.or.th/documents/tmr-2011.pdf

Looks like Central Americans in the US:
http://www.hrw.org/en/features/migrant-workers-thailand

The situation is quite different if you're from a poor country and you're immigrating to another relatively poor but more well off country than your homeland. Chances are good you'll be treated like shit or a 3rd class citizen. It's really not comparable to the sort of expatriate travel we're engaged in.

[Winston]

Hey xiongmao,
Matt hanson in our facebook group made a header graphic and collage for your site happier back home. Check it out. Click one of the links below. What do you think? lol

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/ ... a221b18980

[xiongmao]

Hee hee...

It's a while since I made that site and I've been home, then abroad to Spain then back home again.

Not sure where is best, will report back in another few months once I've given the home dating scene a test...

[Slick]

I can go to Costco and load my cart up with cheap premium craft beers, delicious steaks, electronics, etc.. However, sitting at home watching a big LED tv and stuffing my face

No wonder why 60% of Americans are either fat or obese

[Yohan]

You sound just like any other negative complainer MGTOW'er. Ugh...No wonder I stopped going to the MGTOW and NiceGuy's forum. You should go over there if this is how you really feel...

Interesting, I did not notice you during the last 10 years or so that you were using the NiceGuy-Forum. I would be interested in getting some feedback from you.
What is wrong with the NiceGuy-Forum? What should be improved there? I ask because I have admin rights and also support the NiceGuy Forum financially.

About 'xiongmao', the NiceGuy Forum would welcome him as we do with every newcomer, some of his comments are fairly reasonable.

http://www.happierbackhome.com/
About Xiongmao-Blog it seems to be abandoned, no posting or comments there since about 3 years.

[Slick]

With all those terrorist attacks happening in Europe and the Zika virus rampaging in South America, perhaps Asia would be the last safe haven. But with the scary 2016 election coming in November, would it be far more dangerous to stay in the States? I think it would be safer going to Australia. I thought Canada would be a great idea but then a lot of libtard Americans would plague that country regardless who wins.

[Bao3niang]

As for being 'happier back home', I am happier back home. Asia is home for me.

[xiongmao]

Lol my happier back home site is still up but I'm abroad again. As is our great leader.

This time's positives:

Hey I get paid for sitting in my room for 2 months.
Teaching English is not too difficult, and it can be fun at times.
I no longer worry about politics or other crap in the news.
Not got sick here at all, maybe because I cook in my room most of the time.
Food is generally of higher quality than in Guangdong.

Negatives:

Dating has been rubbish here. Even worse than back home.
Stupid admin staff give zero fvcks about doing anything for you like buying a $20 blackboard or changing rooms even though the other room is empty.
So much corruption here yet I am not allowed to do a little side job.
Still so much discrimination against foreigners in China, there's loads I can't do that residents can do (like easily wire money out of the country).
It's relentlessly cold in China in Winter, especially on a La Nina year. And their buildings
Mosquitoes are terrible in China. If they ever mutate to spread new killer diseases then China is stuffed.
The pollution is worse than ever.
New hazard - so many unused bicycle hire cycles on the sidewalks there's no room for people.
Teaching is pretty thankless. Thanks to glass hearts you can't actually teach the snowflakes anything interesting.

[publicduende]

Lol my happier back home site is still up but I'm abroad again. As is our great leader.

This time's positives:

Hey I get paid for sitting in my room for 2 months.
Teaching English is not too difficult, and it can be fun at times.
I no longer worry about politics or other crap in the news.
Not got sick here at all, maybe because I cook in my room most of the time.
Food is generally of higher quality than in Guangdong.

Negatives:

Dating has been rubbish here. Even worse than back home.
Stupid admin staff give zero fvcks about doing anything for you like buying a $20 blackboard or changing rooms even though the other room is empty.
So much corruption here yet I am not allowed to do a little side job.
Still so much discrimination against foreigners in China, there's loads I can't do that residents can do (like easily wire money out of the country).
It's relentlessly cold in China in Winter, especially on a La Nina year. And their buildings
Mosquitoes are terrible in China. If they ever mutate to spread new killer diseases then China is stuffed.
The pollution is worse than ever.
New hazard - so many unused bicycle hire cycles on the sidewalks there's no room for people.
Teaching is pretty thankless. Thanks to glass hearts you can't actually teach the snowflakes anything interesting.

You pretty much summed up the "cold soul of China". What city did you choose for your teaching assignment?

[yick]

I am from a very white, very working class part of England - the parts of England you don't see on American TV (which is either posh bastards on TV shows like Downton Abbey or Muslim parts of Inner London - these places exist in England but they're not anything like representative - most places are like where I am from).

A lot of the people I grew up with are dead, drugs, violence, suicide (and a fair number of the ones still living are mental or physical wrecks or both) - pregnancy is a lifestyle choice for a lot of teenage girls as they have been failed and left behind by third wave feminism - working class white girls without an education have even less life choices than the boys. A lot of people smoke too much, drink too much and the young take too many drugs.

I am from a council estate - that is a government housing scheme - I don't come from a particulary 'bad' one as there are far worse ones out there but just this past year there has been three murders, an attempted murder across the road from my parents house (a young woman was set on fire by her jealous boyfriend) and a newly housed family of Syrian refugees were firebombed a few streets away.

It is a town whose industries are decimated and there has been nothing to replace them, it's all now zero hour contracts and a lack of job security as people are laid off on a regular basis, even 'jobs for life' like the council - people are fretting about making it to their retirement - they have mortgages, kids, loans on cars, loans f***ing everything based on foundations built on wet egg boxes.

I think I am very very very very lucky to be in the position that I am in. I very very very very lucky to have escaped all that and the life of 'quiet desperation' I am very very very grateful that China has given me a job and a life and a future, and yes - there is another chance of me to get a beautiful woman here, back home, all that's left once you're past 30 are single mums - I have a second chance here which is not open to everyone even though this is how a lot of people in the industry think it is. It's not.

I don't look at my life and my job and think I am beneath it - I just think about seventeen million people back in the UK who are at any one time just 100 pounds away from destitution, this is the reality of a lot of people back home - I don't envy them and wouldn't swap my life for theirs for a million pounds.

I have a mate at a gym I go to when I am back in the UK 'You are so lucky to have what you have, I have a mortgage and a family and a job I hate because I have to go in because I have to pay off a mortgage but if I could f**k it all off tomorrow I would - don't do what i have done and realise how lucky you are with the freedom you have'

And I replied 'I know I'm lucky'.

Of course, you might be upper middle class, brought up in a sunny place on the beach, probably your only setback was not getting a woman - I can understand why living and working in somewhere like China if you were brought up in upscale Honolulu would be awful - but for me - China is a massive step up as is the life I lead.

I am very lucky.

[luis_vi]

Heard INTJs were pretty rare. Which makes them even more awesome.

[Yohan]

it seems this thread will become active again.

About myself, it is clear, I am happier abroad in Asia, and no way for me to return to Europe.
4 decades is a long time and even if I had any intention to go back, it would be rather difficult to do so.

It would be basically almost like a start in a new foreign country I guess, despite I will not face problems like language, visa formalities and such issues.
However I know only very few people there, no regular contact with anybody.
I think if I go back to my native country I would feel like a foreign tourist....surely not as a local, despite I was born there...