S_Parc wrote: ↑June 9th, 2018, 7:33 am
retiredfrank wrote: ↑June 8th, 2018, 11:59 pm
Actually, it's healthier for long term bonding if the man and woman simply cuddle and avoid orgasms with one another, since orgasms are somewhat poisonous, especially to women, and eventually cause a woman to hate the man causing the orgasms. They are also poisonous to men, but in a different way, plus men have such a high sex drive that men quickly forget their disgust at the woman for causing an orgasm.
Ok, you've got to explain the 'poison theory' because I haven't heard it described that way.
First thing is to understand that Nature doesn't care whether we are happy or not. Nature only cares that we survive and reproduce. This explains a lot of things in life.
With regards to peak orgasms as poisonous, the logic is as follows. Sometimes people are sterile but it isn't obvious whether it's the man or woman. Regardless, optimal strategy is for a couple to break up after having sex for 6 months or so UNLESS the woman gets pregnant. How to code this logic at the biological level? Answer: each time a woman has an orgasm, she feels slightly depressed afterwards. Unlike with the man's post-coital depression, which I'll discuss further on, the woman's depression takes a few days to develop, so that it takes the woman's subconscious mind about 6 months to a year to make a connection between her depressions and the man she is having sex with. When that connection is made, she loses interest in the man and breaks up with him. UNLESS she gets pregnant in the meantime, in which case a new set of hormones is released which eliminates the post-coital depressions and instead causes her to bond very closely to the man giving her orgasms. This system protects the woman from a situation where the man is sterile but not the woman. (When I say protects, I mean it's furthers Nature's goal of survive and reproduce, not necessarily what makes the woman happy. Constantly getting pregnant is what Nature wants for women, not necessarily what they want.)
Because the woman is coded to break up after 6 months to a year of sex without pregnany, that automatically protects the man in case its the woman who is sterile rather than the man. So no need for post-coital depressions in the man for that purpose. Post-coital depressions in the man are to handle situations where a man is suddenly given sexual access to a large number of young fertile women. Each time he orgasms, he immediately becomes disgusted and associates that disgust with the woman he just had sex with. But because the male sex drive is so high, he doesn't become disgusted with sex in general. If another woman is available, he has no problem with her. This is extremely valuable coding (again, from Nature's perspective that survive and reproduce is everything) in situations like the aftermath of wartime victory, when the winners have temporary access to all the enemy's women. Also, because the male sex drive is so high, male post-coital disgust doesn't cause problems even in a normal monogamous relationship. The man gets disgusted with the woman immediately afterwards but the next day is back to normal.
Its the slower to develop female post-coital disgust which is truly deadly to long term relationships. Slow to develop but also slow to disappear since the female sex drive is not so high. So once the woman develops disgust for the man, the relationship is over for while, though not necessarily forever. This would explain relationships where the man and woman break up them get back together at regular intervals, like year together, a year apart, etc. it also explains marriages where as long as the man is away maybe half the year, everyone is very happy, and then when something changes so the man is no longer away half the year, and then the marriage becomes unhappy after about a year.
I forget the book I got this theory from. I think there is a karezza website which discusses this.
The solution to both male and female post-coital depression is to replace peak orgasm with valley orgasm, by practicing sexual kung fu. Mantak Chia discusses sexual kung fu is his books.
it's like snuggling with the above. And so while other men look like wolverines, I look like S_Parc the Bunny. 
