Deodorant/cologne vs Illinois women

[traveller]

Even long before I moved to Florida, when I was still living in the dreaded Illinois, my parents always insisted that I put on deodorant and even good smelling stuff, especially when going to major social events. But very rarely did I ever put on a single swipe of deodorant before going to any kind of event where there were a lot of people. I was always like; "It's no use! There's no way I'll ever find a woman in this burned-out bird known as Illinois!" Basically, my philosophy was/is that, if a man wears glasses and/or shows signs that he is not rich, then even the smells of Axe or Old Spice deodorant and even Davidoff Cool Water cologne are like burning rubber to an Illinois woman.

[yick]

Buy better cologne!