Biggest Mystery: If the USA dating scene is unwinnable, how does everyone have a wife and family?!

[Yohan]

Finding a wife in the US is really not that difficult. It's just that alot of the guys want adventures with many different women....

I am not sure how many members of this forum will agree with your comment.
USA is not an easy place for dating women and fairly risky legally seen if you meet the wrong one - even if you have the best intentions and did nothing wrong.

[Winston]

before that when he apprenticed in bullshit artistry under Zan Perrion.

Zan is a legend and I will not let stand any disparagement of his name or work on this forum.

What's his website URL? You gotta understand that anyone who puts himself out there in the public, including us, is subject to criticism. Even Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt get a lot of flak. So do super positive self help gurus like Tony Robbins and Joel Osteen. They all get tons of flak. I've taken tons of flak too. It comes with the territory. You can't take any of it personally. If we promote this movement to the public, we are bound to get flak. Same with this Zan guy, and he knows it, so I'm sure he's used to it and isn't gonna get offended if gsjackson calls him a fraud or something.

[Winston]

Finding a wife in the US is really not that difficult. It's just that alot of the guys want adventures with many different women. That is what's difficult In the US. Dating many different beautiful women in the US is only for guys of high status or guys who have game. If you don't have the swag and charisma that American women like, then the only thing going for you is patience in finding that one woman that comes along once in a blue moon, and take that opportunity to marry her. Also many guys you see with a wife, have only had their wife as their only girlfriend and never dated other women. I personally had a few opportunities to have a wife in the past, but I passed on it because I wanted to meet other women and felt that I could do better. But little did I realize that it's not that simple in the US, because once you break up with a girlfriend, it's very difficult to find another one or date many different women, unless you are high status or have game and I pretty much have neither. The only thing I'm counting on to date beautiful women in the US is experience and my fairly decent looks. I personally believe that with American women, its really a matter of getting to know them as women, and finding out what makes them laugh and what type of charisma they like in a guy. I personally feel that I have the necessary traits that American women like in a man, and that it's just a matter of going out there and talking to them and getting to know them.

Aren't you contradicting yourself? First you say that getting a wife in America isn't that difficult. Then you admit that the chances to get a wife or long term relationship only comes once in a blue moon, and that once you break up with an American woman, it's hard to get another. Well that's like winning the lottery and wasting years. It shouldn't be like that. Men should have choices, not be like beggars who will take any woman he can get.

How do you connect with American women though? That's what I don't get. They aren't approachable, aren't interested in meeting new people, and look closed off and act like approaching them is taboo. They are also not feminine or lady like, but cold and masculine and spoiled rotten and have a bad attitude. So how do you connect with that? If they were willing to connect with you, then I'd have something to work with, but if they are not, then there's nothing to work with. It's unwinnable and impossible. Even if you meet a nice single woman in America, there's a 99 percent chance she will say that you are not her type or she only likes you as a friend, etc.

How do you go out and get to know them? Do you mean you can just walk into a bar, and they will talk to you and play the seduction game with you, like they show in the movies? The dating scene is also negative, you constantly feel like you have to prove yourself to them and they are goddesses on a high pedestal. In other words, it's a total matriarchy and they have all the advantages and power. In the 1950s all you had to do was treat her like a lady and tell her how much she means to you, and she would fall in love with you naturally, like true ladies too. Watch any film from the 50s and 60s and you will see that. You obviously can't do that today.

You say a lot of men marry their first girlfriend. Are Americans that conservative? What happens if your girlfriend dumps you? There's no way of getting another one. The movies and pop culture make it look easy, like all you have to do is go to bars or go about your everyday business and you will bump into your soulmate eventually. Yeah right.

[kangarunner]

@Winston That's another thing about America. People look too serious and focused here. You go to Colombia and the people look much happier and playful. The cheerful Asian people in SE Asia make Americans look like they're at a funeral.

[rainbanx]

The problem about being Asian or Filipino myself in America is most people always assume that "Your a boy" or a "Little kid". As you mentioned, that most females in U.S (especially white American women), prefer only white men with having beard, tattoo, or etc. From height to income, I was at the Chinese buffet yesterday, and I saw this fat, old, and short ugly white female being with a tall middle eastern guy. That tells me, something isn't right and its time to go overseas! Oh, wait! Most females here in U.S will think you're "sell off", by taking advantage of disadvantage women abroad, or they will say things like "she just want your green card, blah blah blah". The point is, that I have a thing with European descent women, and my only hope is to move to Europe. Even if I ever met someone from Europe (Germany, France or Lithuania), I would never ever bring them in U.S. Ever! Majority of countries in Europe are not disadvantages. Most AW, do not want men to go overseas to find love cuz they hated it when they run out of options.

[Yohan]

.....Most females here in U.S will think you're "sell off", by taking advantage of disadvantage women abroad, or they will say things like "she just want your green card, blah blah blah"
.....
Most AW, do not want men to go overseas to find love cuz they hated it when they run out of options.

This is very true.

Women and also some male feminists - many of them have never been outside of the USA - are talking about something they don't know or do not want to know. They are just ignorant people.

Many women in Asia are not poor at all and I am sure many of them have more money than some certain people in the States. Check out how many in the States are owning nothing, living out of food coupons, sleeping in a room in a basement, are jobless, or in jail etc. etc...

People who are talking such BS about foreign women are just envious. Of course Asia has also its problems, but to claim USA is so much better is rather exaggerated.

[Jsport]

Finding a wife in the US is really not that difficult. It's just that alot of the guys want adventures with many different women. That is what's difficult In the US. Dating many different beautiful women in the US is only for guys of high status or guys who have game. If you don't have the swag and charisma that American women like, then the only thing going for you is patience in finding that one woman that comes along once in a blue moon, and take that opportunity to marry her. Also many guys you see with a wife, have only had their wife as their only girlfriend and never dated other women. I personally had a few opportunities to have a wife in the past, but I passed on it because I wanted to meet other women and felt that I could do better. But little did I realize that it's not that simple in the US, because once you break up with a girlfriend, it's very difficult to find another one or date many different women, unless you are high status or have game and I pretty much have neither. The only thing I'm counting on to date beautiful women in the US is experience and my fairly decent looks. I personally believe that with American women, its really a matter of getting to know them as women, and finding out what makes them laugh and what type of charisma they like in a guy. I personally feel that I have the necessary traits that American women like in a man, and that it's just a matter of going out there and talking to them and getting to know them.

Aren't you contradicting yourself? First you say that getting a wife in America isn't that difficult. Then you admit that the chances to get a wife or long term relationship only comes once in a blue moon, and that once you break up with an American woman, it's hard to get another. Well that's like winning the lottery and wasting years. It shouldn't be like that. Men should have choices, not be like beggars who will take any woman he can get.

How do you connect with American women though? That's what I don't get. They aren't approachable, aren't interested in meeting new people, and look closed off and act like approaching them is taboo. They are also not feminine or lady like, but cold and masculine and spoiled rotten and have a bad attitude. So how do you connect with that? If they were willing to connect with you, then I'd have something to work with, but if they are not, then there's nothing to work with. It's unwinnable and impossible. Even if you meet a nice single woman in America, there's a 99 percent chance she will say that you are not her type or she only likes you as a friend, etc.

How do you go out and get to know them? Do you mean you can just walk into a bar, and they will talk to you and play the seduction game with you, like they show in the movies? The dating scene is also negative, you constantly feel like you have to prove yourself to them and they are goddesses on a high pedestal. In other words, it's a total matriarchy and they have all the advantages and power. In the 1950s all you had to do was treat her like a lady and tell her how much she means to you, and she would fall in love with you naturally, like true ladies too. Watch any film from the 50s and 60s and you will see that. You obviously can't do that today.

You say a lot of men marry their first girlfriend. Are Americans that conservative? What happens if your girlfriend dumps you? There's no way of getting another one. The movies and pop culture make it look easy, like all you have to do is go to bars or go about your everyday business and you will bump into your soulmate eventually. Yeah right.

You didn't fully grasp on everything I wrote. I have not been all that happy with American Women either, and I can see why foreign women would be a more sensible choice, because of how much more mature and humble they are as women, but many foreign women even from developing countries also have high standards and are not all that easy either. A guy like me would have a better chance with American women overall than foreign women. I have had foreign women also judge me negatively. American women have also treated me harshly too, but not for materialistic reasons like foreign women have. I would say that the main reason why I have struggled with American women is more because of the competition I face from other guys who are more privileged and higher status than me. I live a very modest life in a society of guys who are super competitive minded. I cannot compete with guys who are very competitive since I am a modest person, with modest pursuits in life. I also have not had the experiences you have had with foreign women. Based on the photos you posted on this website, you have had an abundance of experiences with beautiful women abroad. A guy like me would not receive anywhere near the same level of special treatment from beautiful women abroad that you have, because I have a different mentality. I live a more reserved and simple lifestyle, where the only time I stand out in the limelight of the mainstream in any way is when I play Soccer during the week. We both have different perspective on American and foreign women and I personally feel that American women are really not that bad depending on how you view them.

[Jsport]

Finding a wife in the US is really not that difficult. It's just that alot of the guys want adventures with many different women....

I am not sure how many members of this forum will agree with your comment.
USA is not an easy place for dating women and fairly risky legally seen if you meet the wrong one - even if you have the best intentions and did nothing wrong.

It's not difficult In the sense that every man, who has lived in the US throughout his life has had atleast a few women who have come into their life and given them a chance. Even now as we speak, their are probably women in our proximity who we may have a real chance with, but either just don't realize it or subconsciously feel that we can do better than the women who are in our proximity on a day to day basis. Also if you see a woman who you like, and really want to go out with her and marry her, it's very likely that you can make that a reality. That is the difference between the guys who have a wife and the guys who don't, is that the guys who have a wife in the US are guys who took the opportunities they had in the moment a woman came into their life, and took that opportunity to go out with them and marry them. Also, even if you don't connect well with American women, their are foreign women in the US who you can talk to you, go out with them, then marry them. But I do agree that dating different women in the US is difficult, but actually having a wife, is attainable.

[Winston]

A friend of mine on WhatsApp gave me his take on my questions:

"If you live in suburbia then you're seeing the "successful" men who got wives, could afford houses, etc. You're not seeing the "failures." It's not as mysterious as you think. There's a big difference between a low IQ country with an inept government and a higher IQ country with a government that has its hand in everything, including the dating market, marriage, family formation, and divorce. It's not a mystery why PH is happier, and the US is miserable. You keep looking for an answer behind the answer but I don't think you will ever find one that satisfies you Winston.

Where you are determines what you even see. You know millions of men struggle in American society yet if you live in suburbia (just one example) you question yourself because you are seeing the opposite. It's like the old problem of introverts finding other introverts - they're all at home, lol. In reality there are plenty but of course you don't see them outside in public typically. Well similarly you don't see the struggling, sad, lonely failures in suburbia, college campuses, city downtowns, and places like that.

Like in PH you always see places packed but Filipinos are always broke. It's a paradox. But it makes sense when you have enough information. PH relies heavily on remittances, and has a large number of foreign workers who frequently return home and spend money and share it with their families. There is also a huge thieving culture and as soon as Filipinos get any money they spend it. Add all this up and it makes sense.

Just like anyone with half a brain knows the country has insane social and economic problems, yet if you spent most of your time around yuppies you would wonder how that could be true. But if, say, you lived in a rural area you would likely see the rot: barren towns, rusted abandoned factories, and people who clearly have substance abuse problems.

It's like how people see murders or assaults or shootings on the news, and people assume America is generally a dangerous country. And sure, it is, but not equally all around. Go to a ghetto of an inner city and you are very likely to be the victim of a crime. But go to a small town, you could wander around at night for years and nothing would probably ever happen to you.

Another good example in a similar vein is how people travel across the world and bump into people they know, unplanned. It seems incredible at first and they think it's such a small world. But the world is small in a sense. Most people are traveling to or through major cities. Those are the typical travel hubs. And it makes perfect sense. Places with lots of people bring lots of people. So your odds of running into someone you know traveling is not nearly as low as most people think."

[Yohan]

It's not difficult In the sense that every man, who has lived in the US throughout his life has had at least a few women who have come into their life and given them a chance. Even now as we speak, their are probably women in our proximity who we may have a real chance with, but either just don't realize it or subconsciously feel that we can do better than the women who are in our proximity on a day to day basis....

I am from Europe, not from USA, but I can say, as far as I have seen, that Europe is not so much better than the States - and it never happened that a woman from my own native country came into my life and gave me a chance.

What I did long time ago is about for what this forum is existing. I was starting to look out for foreign women (not easy at that time, as internet did not exist, airfare was very expensive, Eastern Europe was still closed etc.) and I left Europe to Asia for always, now more than 45 years living abroad in Asia, married never divorced, with children and grandchildren and I never came back.

My experience so far about Western women is simply said bad, I think Western women are of low morality and have to change their preferences how to choose their men. Many of them are into sex with multiple boyfriends, starting sexual relationships as young as 13.

Young Western women look only out for men who offer 'something special' to them, this might be money (but such rich guys are limited and have plenty of girls around them anyway), Western women are also very gullible and indeed a braggart and conman who is presenting himself as a prince or such nonsense has good chances and even bad boys are admired, prison in and out always have girls next to them as they offer an 'exciting unusual lifestyle'.

Ordinary men are ignored, considered as second class, as replaceable items. I have no compassion for such women, but in Western society they are indeed the majority.

Of course this works out only as long as these women are still young, time is changing and passing their 40s many of these women are dumped, angry talking about the importance of more feminism and such BS and asking where are all the 'good men' - LOL, I don't care...

[Jackfruits]

The problem about being Asian or Filipino myself in America is most people always assume that "Your a boy" or a "Little kid". As you mentioned, that most females in U.S (especially white American women), prefer only white men with having beard, tattoo, or etc. From height to income, I was at the Chinese buffet yesterday, and I saw this fat, old, and short ugly white female being with a tall middle eastern guy. That tells me, something isn't right and its time to go overseas! Oh, wait! Most females here in U.S will think you're "sell off", by taking advantage of disadvantage women abroad, or they will say things like "she just want your green card, blah blah blah". The point is, that I have a thing with European descent women, and my only hope is to move to Europe. Even if I ever met someone from Europe (Germany, France or Lithuania), I would never ever bring them in U.S. Ever! Majority of countries in Europe are not disadvantages. Most AW, do not want men to go overseas to find love cuz they hated it when they run out of options.

I have American friends (and they aren't that white either) as one is Latino, one is black and another is mixed Asian and Latino but they are racist trump pride and idiot group members and they are actually very racist against foreigners but the moment they leave the country, they want others to treat them like kings. The moment they are in ie Asia they expect red carpet treatment everywhere, especially the black guy.

The Brazilian was a member of some white power movement and KKK until they found out his mom is a dark skinned Brazilian and he got his white skin from his white German Jewish dad. He said he joined as a joke. I don't believe it.

Even though the black guy even though university educated and works as a banker during the BLM riots was looting electronic stores, he prefers less social homes in his neighbourhood as it usually get filled with low income black people.

The Filipino-Argentinian guy loves hookers and sees himself as a white male American. Yes he is as good as white as his Argentinan lineage is likely mixed with German nazi bloodline. He has blue-green eyes but black hair. And he was arrested once in Philippines for getting caught in some bar with underage girls. It was true he just was drinking a beer when the police raid happened and he said he didn't know and also didn't sleep with any of the girls which was all true but still weird to be caught up in this mess.

[Winston]

@MarcosZeitola and @publicduende:

Something interesting to show you. Check out the podcast below about exiting the matrix. Notice in the window on the top left, you see a good looking couple hosting the show. So you see, even truthers who run conspiracy podcasts about the false nature of our reality can get a cute girlfriend who is on their wavelength. So you see, you can't blame it on me being a truther or being into conspiracies right? Because other truthers in America can find a stable wife or girlfriend easily and naturally. Even if I met a truther girl who had a lot in common with me, she would likely see me as a friend only, so either way I lose. How do you explain that? Moreover, almost all truther podcast hosts have a wife or long term partner that they talk about or bring onto the show as a co-host. How do you explain that? So you see, you can't say that my interest in conspiracy is what makes me unable to get a wife or girlfriend in America right?

[Winston]

Finding a wife in the US is really not that difficult. It's just that alot of the guys want adventures with many different women....

I am not sure how many members of this forum will agree with your comment.
USA is not an easy place for dating women and fairly risky legally seen if you meet the wrong one - even if you have the best intentions and did nothing wrong.

It's not difficult In the sense that every man, who has lived in the US throughout his life has had atleast a few women who have come into their life and given them a chance. Even now as we speak, their are probably women in our proximity who we may have a real chance with, but either just don't realize it or subconsciously feel that we can do better than the women who are in our proximity on a day to day basis. Also if you see a woman who you like, and really want to go out with her and marry her, it's very likely that you can make that a reality. That is the difference between the guys who have a wife and the guys who don't, is that the guys who have a wife in the US are guys who took the opportunities they had in the moment a woman came into their life, and took that opportunity to go out with them and marry them. Also, even if you don't connect well with American women, their are foreign women in the US who you can talk to you, go out with them, then marry them. But I do agree that dating different women in the US is difficult, but actually having a wife, is attainable.

Yes it does seem that if you live somewhere your whole life, that a few opportunities for relationships will come up. But what if when they come up, they are always with women who are incompatible? My first girlfriend was Vietnamese and she didn't like that I was different, plus she wanted to eventually marry a Vietnamese guy, so I always knew we weren't gonna be together long. Why didn't destiny or the universe give me someone better? Why do I always get doomed relationships? You see what I mean? It's not like I let a gem get away. So I don't get what you mean. You seem to imply that the universe gives every guy a chance at someone who is compatible with him. But that's not the case with me. My second girlfriend and I had nothing in common. We were just in love with the idea of being in love. But we had no chemistry or passion. She was a cold workaholic type and liberal and too independent. So again, it's not like the universe gave me a great match that I let get away. My third American girlfriend was much better and hotter and turned me on more. But she did a 180 after a month for no reason, citing BS excuses. So I didn't let that get away. She just changed her mind and became hostile and argumentative and moody, like she was trying to break us up and gave me no choice.

Btw, what did you mean by this: "Also if you see a woman who you like, and really want to go out with her and marry her, it's very likely that you can make that a reality."

WTF? So real life is like the movies? If you see a girl you like you just approach her and the ball rolls from there? LOL. Come on. You're joking right? How do you make that a reality? What if I saw a girl I liked at the supermarket? I can just approach her and ask her number and get her to agree to a date and have her saying "Here's my number. Call me." just like that? Are you joking or being facetious? No one here believes that. I've tried cold approach many times in the US. It doesn't go anywhere. And it feels inappropriate too. What reality are you living in?

[Yohan]

Yes it does seem that if you live somewhere your whole life, that a few opportunities for relationships will come up. But what if when they come up, they are always with women who are incompatible?

I can only agree with you, Winston.
What MarcosZeitola writes is fantasy - reality of life is quite different.

Your question is about 'but what IF they come up' - but what will you do IF nobody is coming up, as it was the case with me when I was still young?

If they come up, or not and when, this is nothing but pure luck. For some men they will come up, but for others never.

It can be proven easily by statistics - while still young - not over 35 y/o, there are ALWAYS more men showing up than women and not only in China and India.
Even in countries without any discrimination between men and women, there is a natural gender imbalance because of birth, usually 105 boys vs. 100 girls. Therefore some young men will be the leftover.

Btw, what did you mean by this: "Also if you see a woman who you like, and really want to go out with her and marry her, it's very likely that you can make that a reality."

This is hardly possible, maybe only for men and women within the so-called high society and their party-life full with gossip where everybody is introducing everybody.

WTF? So real life is like the movies? If you see a girl you like you just approach her and the ball rolls from there? LOL. Come on. You're joking right? How do you make that a reality? What if I saw a girl I liked at the supermarket? I can just approach her and ask her number and get her to agree to a date and have her saying "Here's my number. Call me." just like that? Are you joking or being facetious? No one here believes that. I've tried cold approach many times in the US. It doesn't go anywhere. And it feels inappropriate too. What reality are you living in?

It is risky to approach unknown women in Western countries, as you cannot predict her reaction, but very few women will react friendly and accept you. They might be married already, or they have already multiple boyfriends...but they will tell you anyway, they do not need you... etc.

Most of such actions will end up in a negative way. Often rather her response might be unfriendly and aggressive. She might ignore you, she might tell you to piss off, she might punch you in your face and cry rape...

I consider the dating scene in Western Europe as totally broken since long time ago.

[Jsport]

Finding a wife in the US is really not that difficult. It's just that alot of the guys want adventures with many different women....

I am not sure how many members of this forum will agree with your comment.
USA is not an easy place for dating women and fairly risky legally seen if you meet the wrong one - even if you have the best intentions and did nothing wrong.

It's not difficult In the sense that every man, who has lived in the US throughout his life has had atleast a few women who have come into their life and given them a chance. Even now as we speak, their are probably women in our proximity who we may have a real chance with, but either just don't realize it or subconsciously feel that we can do better than the women who are in our proximity on a day to day basis. Also if you see a woman who you like, and really want to go out with her and marry her, it's very likely that you can make that a reality. That is the difference between the guys who have a wife and the guys who don't, is that the guys who have a wife in the US are guys who took the opportunities they had in the moment a woman came into their life, and took that opportunity to go out with them and marry them. Also, even if you don't connect well with American women, their are foreign women in the US who you can talk to you, go out with them, then marry them. But I do agree that dating different women in the US is difficult, but actually having a wife, is attainable.

Yes it does seem that if you live somewhere your whole life, that a few opportunities for relationships will come up. But what if when they come up, they are always with women who are incompatible? My first girlfriend was Vietnamese and she didn't like that I was different, plus she wanted to eventually marry a Vietnamese guy, so I always knew we weren't gonna be together long. Why didn't destiny or the universe give me someone better? Why do I always get doomed relationships? You see what I mean? It's not like I let a gem get away. So I don't get what you mean. You seem to imply that the universe gives every guy a chance at someone who is compatible with him. But that's not the case with me. My second girlfriend and I had nothing in common. We were just in love with the idea of being in love. But we had no chemistry or passion. She was a cold workaholic type and liberal and too independent. So again, it's not like the universe gave me a great match that I let get away. My third American girlfriend was much better and hotter and turned me on more. But she did a 180 after a month for no reason, citing BS excuses. So I didn't let that get away. She just changed her mind and became hostile and argumentative and moody, like she was trying to break us up and gave me no choice.

Btw, what did you mean by this: "Also if you see a woman who you like, and really want to go out with her and marry her, it's very likely that you can make that a reality."

WTF? So real life is like the movies? If you see a girl you like you just approach her and the ball rolls from there? LOL. Come on. You're joking right? How do you make that a reality? What if I saw a girl I liked at the supermarket? I can just approach her and ask her number and get her to agree to a date and have her saying "Here's my number. Call me." just like that? Are you joking or being facetious? No one here believes that. I've tried cold approach many times in the US. It doesn't go anywhere. And it feels inappropriate too. What reality are you living in?

My response was just to answer your question on why everyone seems to have a wife in the US. And the reason why alot of guys in the US have a wife is because many of these guys took that opportunity to hold on to and marry one of the few women who came into their life. They didn't put much thought on how compatible they were, they just went on and married them, because they knew that opportunities with other women were few and far between. I understand your frustration when you say it shouldn't be that way, but that's just the way it is in the US. To have the same success with beautiful women in the US as you did overseas, you have to either be high status or have the charisma and personality or look that American women like, its that simple. Everybody is different, some guys are better suited for foreign women and others are better suited for American women. I have seen many guys who are successful with American women, either because they have the status or have the personality or look that American women like.