Your perfect scenario has happened to me - the HA dream manifested itself upon me

[yick]

A beautiful 23 year old Chinese woman has split up with her boyfriend and has decided she wants to be with me.

She is a gorgeous! Big boobs, big ass, beautiful face and the femininity a southern Chinese woman radiates.

However, I am now in my 50's and though this is a great situation in theory, it isn't good long term.

She wants to marry me and be 'kept' she doesn't want to live a 'hard life' anymore.

Which is fine for now but I am 15 years away from retirement.

What happens when I am 80 and she is 50 and she is trying to kill me off so she can get hold of my apartment and take off with all my savings? Where my life is being made a misery because I was stupid enough to get into a relationship with a woman more than 30 years younger than me and within time she has met someone her age who can f**k her every day.

She wants kids, I am too old to be changing nappies at 3 am.

She wants sex every day, I don't.

Yes, beautiful women are part of the HA experience.

But freedom and peace or mind are more important than temporary lust.

[MrMan]

A beautiful 23 year old Chinese woman has split up with her boyfriend and has decided she wants to be with me.

She is a gorgeous! Big boobs, big ass, beautiful face and the femininity a southern Chinese woman radiates.

However, I am now in my 50's and though this is a great situation in theory, it isn't good long term.

She wants to marry me and be 'kept' she doesn't want to live a 'hard life' anymore.

Which is fine for now but I am 15 years away from retirement.

What happens when I am 80 and she is 50 and she is trying to kill me off so she can get hold of my apartment and take off with all my savings? Where my life is being made a misery because I was stupid enough to get into a relationship with a woman more than 30 years younger than me and within time she has met someone her age who can f**k her every day.

She wants kids, I am too old to be changing nappies at 3 am.

She wants sex every day, I don't.

Yes, beautiful women are part of the HA experience.

But freedom and peace or mind are more important than temporary lust.

If you married her, you could just bite the bullet and have sex every day (except during periods and right after childbirth. That's nasty.) But then she might wear you out and you could die during sex. I'm just a bit older than you are, and if I could push a button and make my wife want sex night after night after night, I'd push the button (no pun intended there, btw... just thought of that.) A woman who wants sex nightly, not just briefly, but consistently for years is probably in the top 95 or 99 percentile for sex drive. Getting worn out constantly until you are hiding under the bed every night in the fetal position with your hand protecting your crotch could be a really fun way to go out.

You don't want to be changing nappies at 3 AM, but who is going to change your nappies at 3 AM? If you marry her, maybe a pretty Chinese woman?

I'm glad I have had my children. If I were still single and this age and hadn't had children, though, and she met my criteria (which would include not being sexually experienced unless she were a widow) I'd go for something like that. The 'being kept' is a bit of a concern, though. Is she industrious, and could you afford it.

Also, a wife with a 23-year-old body? That's probably still in the peak years for looks if she hasn't had kids.
Who wants sex all the time?

Realistically character, and being really, really committed to marriage are very important, especially if she is marrying an older man. If you don't trust her not to cheat on you or kill you, of course you shouldn't marry her.

[yick]

Well, I could bite the bullet, the young lady in question has a very high sex drive the thing is, the older I get, the less she will want to give it out and she will start finding other men who are her age attractive who will be able to f**k her daily - this is the problem - when I am 65, she will be 35 and she isn't going to be short of male attention wherever she goes, that is just asking for massive problems in a marriage.

I'll come to who will change my nappies when I am 90 - if I get there, which I doubt - but I don't want some woman trying to kill me off so she can get her hands on my property or for her to wish and hope I croak it so I am out of the way so she can continue on her merry way.

All that would be good now and for the next few years, I look young for my age. She fancies me - she soon won't though, how long can one put off the ravages of old age?

Could I afford it? She isn't asking for much but do I want to give up a life I am really comfortable with to pay a reasonable upkeep for a woman who will demand more and more over time? Not really.

She's Chinese, what she is asking for financially wouldn't be seen as outrageous in many cultures but to my western way of thinking, I am basically buying her even though a lot of Chinese men do the same for their women.

It's not that I don't trust her, I know human nature will take over when the day comes I can't get my little pecker to attention and I am then on the verge of losing everything at a time I am least able to afford to because I let the little pecker do my thinking for me.

[Shemp]

@yick: Very difficult situation, mainly because China is not cheap, so you can't buy your way out of the problem. Usual way for a very rich man to deal with this situation is arrange to leave the girl financially independent if and when you and she split, for whatever reason. That's what Trump did with his ex wives, for example. But financially independent means very big money in China.

Compare with that sugar baby of mine, who is 30 years younger than me but doesn't want children and never did (she raised her 2 younger sisters because her mother was half crazy, and that apparently soured her on raising children of her own, plus her personality is just not oriented towards being a mother). She isn't planning to stay in Ireland and wants to return to Ukraine, which was cheap before the war and should be very cheap after. Like your girl, this one wants to be "sponsored" so she has an easy life, but that's easy for me, given my wealth and how little it will cost to allow her an easy life in Kyiv. She already bought a brand new 3 bedroom apartment for $60K in Kyiv suburbs before the war (will cost maybe another $20-30K to finish the interior bath, kitchen, floors, etc) partly from money I was giving her each year. So this is very easy situation for me: I just dole out $2k/month for the 6 months I plan to be in Ukraine (winter and summer) and see her maybe two or three times a week and she can live on that, then supplement with OnlyFans and computer programming gigs (she dabbles in that but is not a real whiz: I was a professional programmer myself hence an expert at evaluating programmers) and her online jewelry store and probably some occasional whoring on the side which I don't care to know about. $12k/year is well within my budget, especially because that's everything I would have to spend connected with women: she doesn't care if I live cheap, don't own a car, don't have more than one pair of clothes, don't take her places, etc.

I had sex with her daily for 6 weeks in Moldova back in summer 2022, and that wasn't difficult for my body because I practice sexual kung fu and so don't ejaculate, but it was somewhat difficult mentally because we don't have that much to say to one another. I don't have much to say to anyone, in fact, if I'm with them every day. So 2-3 visits/week for 6 months/year is better than living together full time.

Most importantly, there is absolutely no pressure for me to marry or otherwise commit to this girl. I'm a milk cow to her, who puts money on the table to be picked up each time she visits. If I die or get another girl, the flow of milk stops, so she has every incentive to keep me alive and happy with our relationship. I've considered old age. If I retire and Ukraine and live to 100, I might continue paying her right up to the end, to be a personal assistant (help with finding doctors) versus sex companion. Instead of buying property in my own name, my plan is encourage her to buy another apartment and rent to me at above market rent. Again, this makes me a valuable milk cow who needs to be kept alive and happy so it keeps producing milk, versus a meat cow that is troublesome while alive and only produces value when it gets slaughtered.

If I were in your shoes, I'd avoid marrying that girl, unless you really want children yourself. There's a reason fishing, including ice fishing in winter, is so popular among married men: excuse to get away from the wife and be alone or with other men the entire day.

[komei888]

$12k/year is well within my budget, especially because that's everything I would have to spend connected with women: she doesn't care if I live cheap, don't own a car, don't have more than one pair of clothes, don't take her places, etc.

Why spend time with a woman that hates you and only is there because of your money?

[MrMan]

Well, I could bite the bullet, the young lady in question has a very high sex drive the thing is, the older I get, the less she will want to give it out and she will start finding other men who are her age attractive who will be able to f**k her daily - this is the problem - when I am 65, she will be 35 and she isn't going to be short of male attention wherever she goes, that is just asking for massive problems in a marriage.

That wanting it every night thing... my guess is that is temporary. There is youth plus new relationship plus limited responsibilities. Lets say you negotiated out she had to work, or else she just had one baby. She has the baby, nurses, and after she heals up and stops bleeding, she's 'touched out' with the baby and her drive goes down. She could settle into two or three times a week, or you could be hitting her up instead of vice versa.

But if you don't trust her not to cheat on you, then don't marry her. I took a different approach, abstaining from sex before marriage and marrying a virgin. I figure if a woman can wait until marriage, then she probably isn't going to be looking for other men after marriage. I have no worries about my wife cheating on me. We are also both old school, not going to hang out one on one with an opposite sex 'bestie' or other stupid stuff like that modern woke 'liberated' individuals think people should be able to do. If you don't trust a woman not to cheat, don't marry her just because she's beautiful and wants sex every day. If a woman fornicates every day before marriage, committing adultery after marriage may not be as big of a deal to her. Some might remain faithful. it's an issue of knowing her value and her character.

Still, if I could put my wife in a metal box shaped like a coffin and push a button and she comes out looking 23, with the energy of a 23 year old, amped up and horny and expecting sex every night, with the risk of her running me down in my 60's until my sexual energy is constantly being used up and I lay there like a dried up husk... I'd definitely push the button. That sounds like loads of fun. I might have to take a bath in testosterone and get some prescriptions or herbal supplements. There are other types of play and if a woman is down for that, if you can't perform all the time as you once could, it's just a matter of devoting time when you aren't down for taking full advantage.

I'll come to who will change my nappies when I am 90 - if I get there, which I doubt - but I don't want some woman trying to kill me off so she can get her hands on my property or for her to wish and hope I croak it so I am out of the way so she can continue on her merry way.

Again character and trust are a lot more important than beauty, a great body, and sex drive. If you don't trust her to be faithful (not just in regard to not committing adultery) and loyal to you, then don't marry her. Don't date her. If she's sleeping in your apartment, the knives are right there, along with the valuables.

All that would be good now and for the next few years, I look young for my age. She fancies me - she soon won't though, how long can one put off the ravages of old age?

Strong moral character, really believing in marriage, committing for life, being submissive, respectful, and dedicated to her husband. These things are more important than looks. It would be better to have a 7 for looks who has that than a 10 who would cheat or stab you to take your stuff.

She's Chinese, what she is asking for financially wouldn't be seen as outrageous in many cultures but to my western way of thinking, I am basically buying her even though a lot of Chinese men do the same for their women.

Financial obligations toward a wife are a normal, moral thing, not prostitution. But industriousness is a virtue. She should be looking to benefit your household, whether by working outside the home or by frugally taking care of assets you work for. She's so young, you could be talking about educating her and getting her set up with a flexible career for after she passes.

It's not that I don't trust her, I know human nature will take over when the day comes I can't get my little pecker to attention and I am then on the verge of losing everything at a time I am least able to afford to because I let the little pecker do my thinking for me.

It depends on what you want. I'd rather have a woman..and kids for that matter.. than a house or an apartment. Of course when you have the woman you need the house or the apartment.

in some countries, marrying a local opens up opportunities to open a business in her name. That could kill two birds with one stone if you think giving her some work might decrease her demands on your body every day.

[MrMan]

@yick: Very difficult situation, mainly because China is not cheap, so you can't buy your way out of the problem. Usual way for a very rich man to deal with this situation is arrange to leave the girl financially independent if and when you and she split, for whatever reason. That's what Trump did with his ex wives, for example. But financially independent means very big money in China.

Compare with that sugar baby of mine, who is 30 years younger than me but doesn't want children and never did (she raised her 2 younger sisters because her mother was half crazy, and that apparently soured her on raising children of her own, plus her personality is just not oriented towards being a mother). She isn't planning to stay in Ireland and wants to return to Ukraine, which was cheap before the war and should be very cheap after. Like your girl, this one wants to be "sponsored" so she has an easy life, but that's easy for me, given my wealth and how little it will cost to allow her an easy life in Kyiv. She already bought a brand new 3 bedroom apartment for $60K in Kyiv suburbs before the war (will cost maybe another $20-30K to finish the interior bath, kitchen, floors, etc) partly from money I was giving her each year. So this is very easy situation for me: I just dole out $2k/month for the 6 months I plan to be in Ukraine (winter and summer) and see her maybe two or three times a week and she can live on that, then supplement with OnlyFans and computer programming gigs (she dabbles in that but is not a real whiz: I was a professional programmer myself hence an expert at evaluating programmers) and her online jewelry store and probably some occasional whoring on the side which I don't care to know about. $12k/year is well within my budget, especially because that's everything I would have to spend connected with women: she doesn't care if I live cheap, don't own a car, don't have more than one pair of clothes, don't take her places, etc.

I had sex with her daily for 6 weeks in Moldova back in summer 2022, and that wasn't difficult for my body because I practice sexual kung fu and so don't ejaculate, but it was somewhat difficult mentally because we don't have that much to say to one another. I don't have much to say to anyone, in fact, if I'm with them every day. So 2-3 visits/week for 6 months/year is better than living together full time.

Most importantly, there is absolutely no pressure for me to marry or otherwise commit to this girl. I'm a milk cow to her, who puts money on the table to be picked up each time she visits. If I die or get another girl, the flow of milk stops, so she has every incentive to keep me alive and happy with our relationship. I've considered old age. If I retire and Ukraine and live to 100, I might continue paying her right up to the end, to be a personal assistant (help with finding doctors) versus sex companion. Instead of buying property in my own name, my plan is encourage her to buy another apartment and rent to me at above market rent. Again, this makes me a valuable milk cow who needs to be kept alive and happy so it keeps producing milk, versus a meat cow that is troublesome while alive and only produces value when it gets slaughtered.

If I were in your shoes, I'd avoid marrying that girl, unless you really want children yourself. There's a reason fishing, including ice fishing in winter, is so popular among married men: excuse to get away from the wife and be alone or with other men the entire day.

You know I don't agree with sex outside of marriage. But from a hedonic perspective, I get why you would do some of this. I don't get being okay with this woman prostituting herself out. What about disease? What about disgust, and natural jealousy? They say conservatives have a higher sense of disgust than liberals in psychological research. I'm conservative. The idea of a woman I'm with sleeping around would be offensive and disgusting to me.

Also, most birth control is not 100%. Unless one of you have gotten yourselves 'fixed', then what if she gets pregnant. She doesn't want kids, but they say changing her mind is a woman's prerogative. She could go for an ultrasound and decide to keep it. Or her siblings have kids and she starts to think about it. Or she holds a baby and the motherly instincts kick in. They you have a little kid running around. Sex is where the babies come from after all. Oooh, and you let her sleep around with other guys.

[Shemp]

I don't get being okay with this woman prostituting herself out.

If I want monogamy, I would probably have to spend full time with the girl, versus spending 6 months/year traveling by myself (hiking and camping in the mountains mostly) AND I would have to commit to the her so her finances are secured versus this pay per visit scheme. As it is, I could disappear anytime, so it's not surprising if she keeps her options open with other men. Note that I also keep my options open with other women in case I lose sexual interest in this girl. It's not that we have discussed an "open relationship", it's simply that I prefer to be totally untied down and hence unreliable and plan to stay that way. Not many young and beautiful women will agree to monogamy under these conditions.

What about disease? What about disgust, and natural jealousy? They say conservatives have a higher sense of disgust than liberals in psychological research. I'm conservative. The idea of a woman I'm with sleeping around would be offensive and disgusting to me.

I don't get caught up on these liberal/conservative labels. STDs are but one type of disease. I put myself at risk of other diseases by frequent travel in crowded aircraft and buses, eating unwashed fruit, drinking from streams in the mountains, etc. No reason to focus on STDs. Also, women can promise monogamy and even be married and still fool around and catch STDs. She has just as much an incentive as me to be careful about disease risks. I don't feel your so-called "natural" jealousy. My most powerful feeling is desire for freedom to do whatever I want, and that is typically incompatible with monogamy, which means commitment to one person, so restriction on freedom.

Also, most birth control is not 100%. Unless one of you have gotten yourselves 'fixed', then what if she gets pregnant. She doesn't want kids, but they say changing her mind is a woman's prerogative. She could go for an ultrasound and decide to keep it. Or her siblings have kids and she starts to think about it. Or she holds a baby and the motherly instincts kick in. They you have a little kid running around. Sex is where the babies come from after all.

I got a vasectomy when i turned 60. If she gets pregnant from another man, that's her problem. And the fact that she might change her mind about children is part of why I keep her at a distance. This is the problem for any man who wants a long-term sexual relationship with a young women: namely, she might change her mind about children. So if the man doesn't want children, he needs to be prepared for losing the woman or for her to "accidentally" get pregnant, either by him or some other man.

Oooh, and you let her sleep around with other guys.

You're getting excited again.

[yick]

@yick: Very difficult situation, mainly because China is not cheap, so you can't buy your way out of the problem. Usual way for a very rich man to deal with this situation is arrange to leave the girl financially independent if and when you and she split, for whatever reason. That's what Trump did with his ex wives, for example. But financially independent means very big money in China.

Compare with that sugar baby of mine, who is 30 years younger than me but doesn't want children and never did (she raised her 2 younger sisters because her mother was half crazy, and that apparently soured her on raising children of her own, plus her personality is just not oriented towards being a mother). She isn't planning to stay in Ireland and wants to return to Ukraine, which was cheap before the war and should be very cheap after. Like your girl, this one wants to be "sponsored" so she has an easy life, but that's easy for me, given my wealth and how little it will cost to allow her an easy life in Kyiv. She already bought a brand new 3 bedroom apartment for $60K in Kyiv suburbs before the war (will cost maybe another $20-30K to finish the interior bath, kitchen, floors, etc) partly from money I was giving her each year. So this is very easy situation for me: I just dole out $2k/month for the 6 months I plan to be in Ukraine (winter and summer) and see her maybe two or three times a week and she can live on that, then supplement with OnlyFans and computer programming gigs (she dabbles in that but is not a real whiz: I was a professional programmer myself hence an expert at evaluating programmers) and her online jewelry store and probably some occasional whoring on the side which I don't care to know about. $12k/year is well within my budget, especially because that's everything I would have to spend connected with women: she doesn't care if I live cheap, don't own a car, don't have more than one pair of clothes, don't take her places, etc.

I had sex with her daily for 6 weeks in Moldova back in summer 2022, and that wasn't difficult for my body because I practice sexual kung fu and so don't ejaculate, but it was somewhat difficult mentally because we don't have that much to say to one another. I don't have much to say to anyone, in fact, if I'm with them every day. So 2-3 visits/week for 6 months/year is better than living together full time.

Most importantly, there is absolutely no pressure for me to marry or otherwise commit to this girl. I'm a milk cow to her, who puts money on the table to be picked up each time she visits. If I die or get another girl, the flow of milk stops, so she has every incentive to keep me alive and happy with our relationship. I've considered old age. If I retire and Ukraine and live to 100, I might continue paying her right up to the end, to be a personal assistant (help with finding doctors) versus sex companion. Instead of buying property in my own name, my plan is encourage her to buy another apartment and rent to me at above market rent. Again, this makes me a valuable milk cow who needs to be kept alive and happy so it keeps producing milk, versus a meat cow that is troublesome while alive and only produces value when it gets slaughtered.

If I were in your shoes, I'd avoid marrying that girl, unless you really want children yourself. There's a reason fishing, including ice fishing in winter, is so popular among married men: excuse to get away from the wife and be alone or with other men the entire day.

Thanks for weighing in on this, Frank! The problem is that she wants both - my commitment and my money and for me to get her out of the predicament she is in - not a bad one or worse than any other young woman her age - she has a degree and a job though she went through a very traumatic experience a few years ago where her mother was beaten to death and her father came to within an inch of going the same way, the murderer is on death row as we speak and he will be leaving the land of the living sometime soon - hopefully.

I promised her Peru and a life of normality, a middle class life but she wants more and she wants a pension every month, 500 dollars a month 'to make things easier' which is fine, cheap at the price for her beauty, her youth and she has only had one sexual partner - I just won't have the money to keep her, it won't be 500 dollars a month forever because she wants marriage and children but as money motivates her and that is what she wants then I won't be able to keep up with her demands because they're going to grow.

If it was one - a sugar baby with a 500 dollar a month retainer - then I could consider it, I am saving for an apartment in Lima but I could do it but she wants marriage and kids and I am just too old and also I have realised that despite sometimes thinking marriage and kids would make me happier, they are just very superficial thought processes and I value my freedom to do what I like more - there would be millions of guys around the world happy to bung her 500 dollars a month - blokes are paying double to tripe that for worn out, tattooed bar whores in Thailand - she is an absolute bargain in comparison.

The fact that she wants financial compensation AND commitment - I have the feeling she would trade me as soon as a better offer came her way - I have no doubt about it at all, it isn't about love on her part, it is about getting through this life by any means necessary and I don't blame her after what she has been through but when the hand of cards I am dealt means I have to bow out of the game, I have to do it with a bit of grace and dignity and realise that 'making it work' would only end up with one loser and that would be me.

I realise now that I don't want marriage, kids or a woman particularly, I gave her the marching orders last night and told her that I wished her well with her future but I cannot give her what she wants, she might come back or she might not, I will keep you posted.

[MrMan]

Marriage to a girl demanding or wanting a $500 a month retainer... or even wife allowance, sounds like trouble. Neither is wanting to be a 'kept woman' and have an easy life.

Curious about Shemp's practice of not 'finishing up', and whether that increases performance or frequency for older men. I don't know that it would make the stuff down below work better. Prostate problems are a common problem for old men, and isn't that the very sort of thing that would swell it up? I'm not to a point where its an issue for frequency or function. I just wonder what the real benefits are from it, from a western medical perspective. Sounds like some eastern medicine or pseudo-spirituality practice.

[yick]

Marriage to a girl demanding or wanting a $500 a month retainer... or even wife allowance, sounds like trouble. Neither is wanting to be a 'kept woman' and have an easy life.

Well, quite, once the motivations become clear then it is easy to swerve the pitfalls, especially at our age when we have done enough miles on the road to know that she won't change, her motivations or that one day she 'will love me' none of those things will happen, I am a boat out of the harbour and as soon as we dock somewhere and a cruise liner docks alongside us, she is going on it.

Which is why I don't feel sorry for men who marry bar whores in Thailand - it's not like these women are hiding their motivations.

[Shemp]

Curious about Shemp's practice of not 'finishing up', and whether that increases performance or frequency for older men. I don't know that it would make the stuff down below work better. Prostate problems are a common problem for old men, and isn't that the very sort of thing that would swell it up? I'm not to a point where its an issue for frequency or function. I just wonder what the real benefits are from it, from a western medical perspective. Sounds like some eastern medicine or pseudo-spirituality practice.

Benefit is no depletion of sexual energy due to ejaculation. As for prostate, I get PSA tests yearly and they are always extremely low, other than 10 years ago when I had just taken a long bicycle tour using a normal saddle (Brooks). I switched to a better bicycle saddle (Selle SMP model Lite 209 or Avant or TRK Medium) and PSA problem disappeared. Sexual Kung Fu is the Chinese Taoist term but Indian Tantra has equivalent techniques. And these sexual techniques have been independently discovered elsewhere many times in human history.

[Shemp]

I am a boat out of the harbour and as soon as we dock somewhere and a cruise liner docks alongside us, she is going on it..

You also have the option of enjoying her as a passenger on your boat for a few years and then wave a friendly goodbye when she switches to the cruise liner. I wouldn't be surprised if my girl did that (she had plans for that in Ireland but discovered men there are as full of lying promises as everywhere) and then I get a replacement who does the same thing a few years later. "Not my girl, just my turn." It's children that complicates things with these women, because then they have a hook in you and it not so easy for you to walk off when the $500/month allowance demand doubles or quadruples.

[yick]

I am a boat out of the harbour and as soon as we dock somewhere and a cruise liner docks alongside us, she is going on it..

You also have the option of enjoying her as a passenger on your boat for a few years and then wave a friendly goodbye when she switches to the cruise liner. I wouldn't be surprised if my girl did that (she had plans for that in Ireland but discovered men there are as full of lying promises as everywhere) and then I get a replacement who does the same thing a few years later. "Not my girl, just my turn." It's children that complicates things with these women, because then they have a hook in you and it not so easy for you to walk off when the $500/month allowance demand doubles or quadruples.

I am like you, I enjoy travelling and doing things on my own. She was going on about a trip to some beach city in Egypt with a Chinese tour package, you know the one where there is some fella with a big flag of which the tour group follow everywhere and I was like 'let's no do that' and she goes 'well, Egyptians are scammers and will rip us off otherwise' and I was thinking 'why?' I am just giving up half of my freedom for nothing! Marriage and being with someone is compromise, I know people who can't emigrate to a sunnier climate because their wife doesn't want to move. I would resent another person doing stuff like that to me, even for a few years - you're right about children complicating things but that is what she would have wanted and it probably would have happened sooner or later! Best thing is keeping her out of the way, my boat through life is a dinghy and there will be no paving slabs carried on for the ride!

[komei888]

Marriage is the most retarded thing possible.