Being a social out cast can leave you so angry at the world

[chanta76]

I can't respond to everyone who posted. But as zboy said it was a rant. I'm not off the block yet. I think the pressure gets to you sometimes.

To Ladislav,

Thanks for the advice. I never been to the Philippines and most of my impression comes from reading Winston experience. I know that there are choices out there besides USA. I think the grind of living here gets to you plus I am Korean -American....my family is Korean...you can say we are expat from Korea living in USA. Some of my rant deals with my parents. I am the only son in my family. There is allot pressure on the first and only son. If you lived in Asia and dealt with Asian family and culture you would understand. .....so for me to drop everything and just go to another country....is ..well not that easy.

My folks wants to live here...and with my folks is conditional with them. Some of it is my fault I should of rebelled more but follow the proper path.

I'm only 35 years old....not too young but not too old YET.

I found stuff to keep me happy ...I work out allot . I ran the 15 K race...and came in top 10% out of 3000 runners here in central park. I swam 72 laps which is about mile at the YMCA. I train with kettle bells and weights.

I try to read as much. And I work in real estate where I am doing OK. I think if I liquidate everything and pay off taxes I probably have enough to more to the Philippines and live there OK for few years with out work...BUT I think like a business man.

Long term goals is to have my real estate investment be mange by some company I can trust and frees me to travel more...and also to start an online business. I am spending time researching online business..yes I am looking into clickbank thinking should I go the affiliate route or just be vendor . Having a hard time deciding which niche to focus on.

At the same time when it comes to romance...I do have a girl friend..but it's a rocky relationship....it's a LONG distance..and she lives in South Korea.

I am thinking about marriage but there is so much I'm not sure about. A part of me thinks I'm jumping into marriage because I feel that I can't find anything in NEw York City ( some truth there) at the same time this girl in Korea is pretty good. Attractive and traditional. I mean if your going to get married it's better to marry an foreign girl unless you get lucky with a really decent local girl.


So ....that's what's up with me...

[Falcon]

Great reply, Chanta, I like your insights.

Last Saturday night I was hanging around an ethnically diverse downtown area with lots of nightlife and festivities. The attention I got from the women, ordered from most to least:

(1) Hispanic
(2) White
(3) Black
(4) Asian

This makes me upset. I do not enjoy being ignored by my own kind. Why would Asian-American ladies give me the least attention out of any group.

The Hispanic and white ladies were easy to talk to and super friendly with me. Many actually approached me first. Some black women gave me smiles too. But the Asian ladies only gave me blank stares, and not a single one came up and talked to me. No smiles, no greetings - nothing (I am not kidding you). About a third of them were with white boyfriends.

Nuff said. I am tired of explaining to people why I have never had an Asian-American girlfriend before, and why I do not intend to have one. Since they ignore their own men, the solution would be to also ignore them and get out into another culture, another country.

[ExpeditionSailor]

I mean so angry at the world because they treat you like a tool. I mean so angry that the only way to relieve you pain is to give someone else your pain.
I mean so angry that you want to get a gun to shoot the people that wronged you.

For me lots of my anger comes from my social interaction. I still remember those times when I approach girls in bars and got the nastiest rejection. I mean a polite no could of done the job but to berate and put me down is just being mean. And these are Asian American girls I'm approaching. I know I know some of you will say these are American girls so f**k them.

But the pain still lingers and festers like cancer. I get ignored . I get over looked. I can't help but feel ugly and unattractive. Is it any wonder that I turn to international dating for my salvation. It's like that is the only way.

I get mad at my parents for immigrating to USA. I always wonder what life could of been for me in South Korea growing up. I feel that I might be more secure as a man. I still get mad because my family depends on me so it's hard for me to relocate to another country. There are times I think about killing off my parents because I am so unhappy here in the states. But they are my parents it's not their fault. They didn't know how America really is.

I get mad at all the Asian American girls I see who act all high and mightly..actually allot of the American girl. I feel that one solution is to get a gun buy plenty of ammo and just go on a shooting spree.

I have this crazy fantasy ..of just killing someone. That's how angry I am. I actually saw a therapist about this....I'm angry at him for charging me so much with little help.

Anyone...get that angry. I mean I told a friend I want to get a gun go into one of those night clubs and shoot those stuck up bitches..or get a knife and stab them over and over....that's how angry I am.


(PS this is just me ranting....I'm not over the edge yet...)

For what it's worth, I hear you, and know where you're coming from, because I've had similar feelings. Although I'd be more likely to take myself out with a gun or a rope rather than chimp out and start shooting people. Hypothetically speaking, of course. I wouldn't want to give the feminist cunts the satisfaction of seeing another man brought to his knees, nor let them have another chance to say, "See, this is proof that all men are inherently evil and deserve all the abuse, marginalization, and stigmatization they get in our society."

[momopi]

I mean so angry at the world because they treat you like a tool. I mean so angry that the only way to relieve you pain is to give someone else your pain.
I mean so angry that you want to get a gun to shoot the people that wronged you.
For me lots of my anger comes from my social interaction. I still remember those times when I approach girls in bars and got the nastiest rejection. I mean a polite no could of done the job but to berate and put me down is just being mean. And these are Asian American girls I'm approaching. I know I know some of you will say these are American girls so f**k them.
But the pain still lingers and festers like cancer. I get ignored . I get over looked. I can't help but feel ugly and unattractive. Is it any wonder that I turn to international dating for my salvation. It's like that is the only way.
I get mad at my parents for immigrating to USA. I always wonder what life could of been for me in South Korea growing up. I feel that I might be more secure as a man. I still get mad because my family depends on me so it's hard for me to relocate to another country. There are times I think about killing off my parents because I am so unhappy here in the states. But they are my parents it's not their fault. They didn't know how America really is.
I get mad at all the Asian American girls I see who act all high and mightly..actually allot of the American girl. I feel that one solution is to get a gun buy plenty of ammo and just go on a shooting spree.
I have this crazy fantasy ..of just killing someone. That's how angry I am. I actually saw a therapist about this....I'm angry at him for charging me so much with little help.
Anyone...get that angry. I mean I told a friend I want to get a gun go into one of those night clubs and shoot those stuck up bitches..or get a knife and stab them over and over....that's how angry I am.
(PS this is just me ranting....I'm not over the edge yet...)

1. Go to your local colleges and have a look at the gender ratio of various classes. If the gender ratio in the dance class is 30 girls : 3 guys, go sign up for the next class. Stop going to bars. Go find better places to meet girls. Instead of wasting your money on your therapist, spend it on yoga classes w/girls instead. Example: http://www.yelp.com/biz/bikrams-yoga-co ... costa-mesa

2. South Korea has now replaced Taiwan as the #1 importer of Vietnamese brides. If you had stayed in SK, that doesn't really guarantee that your social life would've been better. But if you want to give it a try, you can always seek employment in SK. Alternatively, you can consider places like Yanbian Korean Autonomous Prefecture in Northern China. There are over 2 million Korean Chinese and about half of them live in or near Yanbian Prefecture area. The average income level there is lower than SK or US, so you can leverage that to your advantage. See if there's work opportunities there. One of my doctors is Korean and he imported a bride from there, she's pretty, slim, feminine, and give good massages.

3. The benefit of being in the US is that girls from all over the world come here to attend college. If you're a college student, consider joining various international student organizations. Many exchange students don't drive, so if you're willing to pay taxi driver and take them shopping & on tours around town, you have the potential to be popular. Just remember that they will go home to their country, so don't get too emotionally involved.


Lastly, understand that with some East Asians (speaking specifically with TW experience), they may be polite to strangers but are not open or friendly (in a friendship way). This attitude can be described as you being either "in" or "out" with them. If you can create opportunities where you successfully befriend them, once you're "in", they'd go much further for you than friends of other races. Asian social relations is often based on reciprocal social networks. If you approach it with the mentality that people will only use you as a tool, then you're not going to get very far.

[luoldeng9]

I was also very angry about my experiences with Asian-American girls. But by escaping across the border and becoming a new person altogether, I was able to get over them and shove my negative thoughts and memories down into the drain. I went to some dances and was shocked at how I could so easily chat up the women, pair up with them, and just start dancing with them. Like this - imagine a young Asian guy with a cowboy hat dancing with a Mexican lady:



Don't be another Seung-hui Cho. Get out (and I mean OUT of whatever depressing environment you're in) and do something positive.

Yes, its true Falcon. I know when I went to the Dominican Republic on vacation with my family, I was surprised to see some of the stares I got from some of the very attractive Dominican ladies I saw over there. They did seem to be very down-to-earth and friendly, which is just the total opposite reaction I get from American women.

Where else in Latin America have you visited? I'm in the same boat as the OP and I'm thinking about planning a trip to the DM, Brazil, Ecuador, and/or Peru to see how Asians are treated there compared to in the US

[zboy1]

I was also very angry about my experiences with Asian-American girls. But by escaping across the border and becoming a new person altogether, I was able to get over them and shove my negative thoughts and memories down into the drain. I went to some dances and was shocked at how I could so easily chat up the women, pair up with them, and just start dancing with them. Like this - imagine a young Asian guy with a cowboy hat dancing with a Mexican lady:



Don't be another Seung-hui Cho. Get out (and I mean OUT of whatever depressing environment you're in) and do something positive.

Yes, its true Falcon. I know when I went to the Dominican Republic on vacation with my family, I was surprised to see some of the stares I got from some of the very attractive Dominican ladies I saw over there. They did seem to be very down-to-earth and friendly, which is just the total opposite reaction I get from American women.

Where else in Latin America have you visited? I'm in the same boat as the OP and I'm thinking about planning a trip to the DM, Brazil, Ecuador, and/or Peru to see how Asians are treated there compared to in the US

I only visited Dominican Republic. Don't know much about other Latin countries. Really interested in Brazil, though.

[Falcon]

I have only visited Mexico, but would like to go to Guatemala and Peru if I have the time to do so. I would definitely recommend visiting Peru, since it's got a huge resident Asian population that is mostly Cantonese and Japanese / Okinawan. In fact, the Chinese have been in Peru about as long as the Americans have been in California. However, recently in Peru there have been influxes of Chinese from Fujian province and Southeast Asia, as well as Koreans. Locals in Lima are highly used to seeing Asians walking around the streets, so Asians won't be regarded as curiosities unlike in most other parts of Latin America.

See also this thread about Chinese in Peru: viewtopic.php?t=7296

Lausent-Herrera has published some highly informative articles about the Chinese in Peru.
http://ilausent.free.fr/chinos/Tusans%2 ... 20Peru.pdf
http://ilausent.free.fr/chinos/The%20Ch ... nities.pdf

Here's a UCLA newspaper article about how Asian males are perceived in Latin America: http://www.aznlover.com/community/archi ... 19879.html

In South America, Asian men are often looked upon as a good catch because the stereotypes there assume that Asians are well-educated, hard working, stable, and property or business owners of some sort. The above stereotypes are similar to ones about Asians in the United States. But in Latin America, they are used to construct an overall positive, powerful image of the Asian Latino.

In Mexico, I have often gotten asked about whether I know martial arts, but no one seems to mention anything about geekiness and good grades in school (in Mexico, I've only been told this by American tourists). When Latin American locals say that Asians are smart, they are almost always referring to business acumen.

As far as I know, there are no stereotypes about the Asian Latino being submissive or geeky. Once, in Mexico City, I was talking about the Chinese community in America, and I asked the family with whom I was staying about how Chinese Mexicans were perceived. The mother of the family (whose family doctor was Chinese Mexican) told me, "Well, I'll tell you what I know about Chinese men in Mexico. I know that many like to gamble a lot, but aren't they womanizers?"

You will also find that in Latin America, "chinito" generally carries a different and much more positive connotation than "Asian guy" does in the U.S.

[adann]

They say we can't change society and other people, only ourselves. However, what if you don't want to change yourself? I say just pick up and move! What have you got to lose if you're already unhappy and peeved? This is the main reason moved abroad I haven't regretted my decision ever since.

[sushiman]

I have this crazy fantasy ..of just killing someone. That's how angry I am. I actually saw a therapist about this....I'm angry at him for charging me so much with little help.

Haha! Dude I'm in Seoul. Chicks dig Gyupos. Come visit and lets party!

[Repatriate]

You guys really really need to just pick up and leave for awhile. That's all there is to it. The longer you stay and fester in a situation where you're unhappy the worse it's going to get. Plus at least you are somewhat young right now imagine how much worse it will be 10 years from now when you are a certifiably middle aged person who feels that they never experienced life. Forget about the anger. I think way too many asian-american guys sit around wallowing in self pity and misery about larger social issues.