Winston wrote:
I certainly wouldn't be thinking of work or money. Would you? I would do something more meaningful. I think most people would. As Peter Nolan said above, such a situation quickly awakens you. Stephen Covey, I think, said in a documentary that a terminal illness fast forwards your spiritual evolution.
What would you do?
The question was, if your doctor told you that you only had 3 months to live, what would you do with your time. Not "what you would not do with your time". "Something more meaningful" is vague, so let me cite a specific example: I knew a blogger who passed away on December 9th, 2011. His doctor told him that he was dying, and for the last time in his life, he wanted to spend time with his beloved wife and go on a cruise to Hawaii and French Polynesia. Unfortunately his illness overtook him during the trip and it didn't go as planned:
http://ocreader.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=17122#p17122
If I were terminally ill with 3 months to live, the first thing I'd do is to put my affairs in order (family, friends, pets, financial, legal, etc.). My family is practical and we've already had the death and dying scenario discussions, with burial plots purchased at Rose Hills in the 1990's for everyone. You can also meet with a consultant at Rose Hills to discuss your future (or pending) funeral plans. When my grandparents were getting old, we took them shopping to pick out what they want to wear for their final exit. My grandfather even dictated a list of friends that he wanted to invite to his own funeral and left instructions that we should be "good hosts" to HIS GUESTS.
Unfortunately, the plans didn't go as smoothly and burials in TW turned out to be more complicated than in the US. After dictating his guest list, my grandfather went on to live to his 90's, and by then many friends on that list had already passed. The remaining friends made the arduous task of going uphill to the mortuary where the ceremony was being held, only to find that my uncle's boss had insisted to come to show her respect, and brought a large group of her underlings clad in black suits to bow and offer incense. So the room was "fully occupied" and my grandfather's friends and extended family were kept outside wondering who the f*ck those strangers were.
So, lessons learned, if I had the time to prepare for my final exit, I'd leave enough funds to rent a bigger hall, so if unexpected visitors arrive, there's still room for everyone. Even if I'm dead, I should still strive to be a good host to my living guests. It's customary to give away red envelops with a little bit of money and candy inside to funeral guests (symbolically overcoming bad luck from a funeral with good fortune). If I had the time and opportunity, I'd pack my own red envelopes for the guests, pen my own appreciation cards, and maybe pack some party favorites like little tins of jelly beans (shelf life is longer, in case if I live longer than expected). As for the funeral itself, I like how Quakers do things, so I'd leave instructions to have a more "informal" funeral where the official program is kept short and anyone who wants to come up and say something, they're free to do so.
If health permits, I'd also like to travel (see the book titled "1,000 places to see before you die") and see a few more countries that I haven't visited with friends and family. Find time to update the family genealogy book (家譜), do some charity work, donate my surplus clothing sell assorted stuff that I've accumulated, and reduce my "physical presence" in objects around the house. After I've passed, I do not wish to have too much of my stuff around the house to remind my surviving family on daily basis. I'd also leave instructions that I'm actually allergic to burning incense, so don't bother (just pour a cup of wine instead).
Jester wrote:
Really nice. Confucian, I suppose, but regardless of that, a perspective we Americans (and perhaps some others) often lack.
Do you do business coaching, or life coaching?
I'm serious.
The advice given to Winston is mainly for functioning in East Asia's reciprocal social relations. For Americans in America, you can give them this little chart:
