Lack of experience with women

[picasso25]

I've only had two real relationships with women in the U.S. and both of them were short term. the longest one was a long distance relationship. So I wonder if my lack of experience in a relationship and my lack of interaction with women outside of the friends zone will affect me when I go overseas to find love.? I tended to be shy and introverted growing up and found it easier to connect with women and people in general by being helpful in anyway I could which nearly always landed me in the friends zone with women. My other question is do you think with time overseas I can learn to connect with women in a way that is free flowing and without much thought behind, where the conversation between us is natural and there is not game or strategy involved? I tend to be more of an intellectual and I would like to be thought of by women as a potential boyfriend that they would have sex with rather than being trapped in the friends zone as more of a brotherly friends that would disgust them to even think about dating, what are your thoughts, was lack of experience a problem for any of you?

[Winston]

It depends where you go. Where did you have in mind?

It's ok if you don't have experience. Some girls prefer the shy innocent type, it has a purity to it that is adorable to some. That's true in the Philippines with some girls, esp if they are innocent ones themselves.

Just don't be too overeager or try too hard. Overseas you can go with the flow and get results. You don't need to move too fast or try too hard. Things are more natural. But it depends on where you go and how you are perceived and how you fit in.

Its easier to be more confident overseas cause the sense of connectedness is more natural. The environment doesn't try to make you feel unworthy or inadequate. Thus you feel more whole inside and easier to be yourself and radiate your best self.

Then you will feel easier to come out and be more outgoing and extroverted. Trust me on that one. I discovered this in 2002 and was blown away and asked myself "Why didn't anyone tell me about this earlier?"

The bottom line is that things come more naturally and the issues you're wondering usually take care of themselves within a "natural social/dating environment". You will see. You will forget these questions after a while. They come from your mindset of being used to a dysfunctional unnatural artificial dating/social environment like the US.

Have you seen my comparison chart yet? It gives you a good idea of what I mean, the differences.

http://www.happierabroad.com/comparison.htm

[jamesbond]

It seems as if approaching women on the street in foreign countries like Russia, Philippines and eastern Europe is considered OK and not "creepy" by the women there. However try doing that in the US and see what kind of reaction the women give you! LOL In the US you are supposed to mind your own business when you are out in public and not talk to strangers.

[Winston]

Picasso,
Have you seen my Female Encounters film? Watch the four parts of it that I completed and tell me if you would feel nervous around the girls featured in them, who are so comfortable and relaxed with strangers.

http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php

[Adama]

Once you realize you arent being judged by your ability to entertain, your confidence will grow.

In most foreign countries, the women will not lead you on. They will not use you in that friend zone crap. So you will know after the first woman that if she sticks around, things will be in your favor.

Do not worry about this. Natural abilities will kick in when it counts. You dont need game.

[momopi]

I've only had two real relationships with women in the U.S. and both of them were short term. the longest one was a long distance relationship. So I wonder if my lack of experience in a relationship and my lack of interaction with women outside of the friends zone will affect me when I go overseas to find love.? I tended to be shy and introverted growing up and found it easier to connect with women and people in general by being helpful in anyway I could which nearly always landed me in the friends zone with women. My other question is do you think with time overseas I can learn to connect with women in a way that is free flowing and without much thought behind, where the conversation between us is natural and there is not game or strategy involved? I tend to be more of an intellectual and I would like to be thought of by women as a potential boyfriend that they would have sex with rather than being trapped in the friends zone as more of a brotherly friends that would disgust them to even think about dating, what are your thoughts, was lack of experience a problem for any of you?

The solution to inexperience is to go out and gain experience.

[jamesbond]

The US can be a brutal place for a guy to try and meet women. It doesn't have the friendliest women in the world (to say the least) and most women only meet guys through their friends. Winston has talked about the fact that he approached thousands of women in the US and only got a small percentage of those women to give him their phone number. Most phone numbers he got didn't lead to dates, only a few did.

The fact that most women in the US only feel comfortable meeting guys through their friends, really eliminates meeting women out in public places like bookstores, grocery stores, retail stores, etc. On top of this, single men outnumber single women in the US by at least one million so you have a dating disaster for men in America! Now I see why the "pickup" community is so big in the US, guys need to find someway to try and meet women living in a country that is a dating wasteland for men.

[globetrotter]

Contrast this with my experience today. It is Sunday so I go to the market area of town, looking for some good food. I find it after looking around for 30 minutes. Wander in to the drugstore to get some cough drops. It is staffed by 8 giggling women ages 22-36, and it is very clear that I am the center of attention.

While buying cough drops.

Yeah, I will be returning to that chemist with enhanced language skills, and soon.

You will find them in your natural daily goings-on. It won't require game or effort or vast energies expended on your part.

[Master]

For myself.


I hate the idea of unselfimprovement.

[FuzzX]

You dont need game.

no you dont... but if you've got it then you won't have this guy's problem.

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

[pete98146]

Hello Picasso,

Actually you raise a very good question. When you go overseas, you can basically re-invent yourself because nobody knows your past! Regardless of where you go on this globe, I'd say the number one turnon for women is confidence. Doesn't matter if you've gone on 2 dates or 1000 dates, you can still act confident. Don't know if you've ever heard of the radio host Tom Lykis but his message is to act like a stud and you will be a stud....even if you have to act a bit.

If you act like a shy willow you will have less luck where ever you go.

Try overseas. The beautiful thing about Philippines is that you could go visit, walk into a big mall and start talking to the most beautiful store girls and still stand a fighting chance to get a date. Do this until you are brimming with confidence. You WILL find girls to date and to sleep with and soon you'll be fully seasoned. But going to a country where you get the pick of the litter is the key. You wouldn't have the same degree of success if you visited say France or Austria.

[pete98146]

oh and here's another tip for you! Guys can learn SOOOOOOOOO much about dating by reading this old classic book called How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book is $4 used from Amazon. Best $4 you'll ever spend in your life.

What would it teach you? Rule number one when dating 1) Talk about her interests...all night long if you have to. People LOVE to talk about themselves especially women. Have a list of 25 questions about her in your head and feel free to ask away during your date. She'll think you are really into her and the less you talk about you, you all of a sudden become "mysterious" which women also dig. 2) Act confident, relax and smile because this gives off a confident aura which is a panty dropper. 3) Lean in a bit and make eye contact. Sometimes this is hard for a shy inexperienced guy but remember your date doesn't know your past. Tell her that you date alot....not that you have alot of girl friends but you date alot. This makes it sound like other women are in the mix which women also like.

I'm in my late 40s and I was lucky enough to be in my 20s back in the 80s when getting a date wasn't so difficult. Good luck!