Steve Neese ? Testimonial and Story: Why I?m Passionate About Happier Abroad and Global Dating
Greetings. I want to take this opportunity to give a little background as to how and why I became involved with the Happier Abroad movement and why I am so EXTREMELY passionate about it. But before I move on, I want to first introduce a critically important disclosure in case anyone gets the wrong idea about my message and what I am really about.???
I first became involved with the Happier Abroad team in the Summer of 2010 when I accidentally came across Winston Wu's website. When I read it, it blew my mind because it was the first time I found anything that provided a logical explanation about what I have been experiencing within the US dating scene all of my life. I believe it also offered great insight into the reasons why I have preferred dating foreign woman for most of my life. In that regard, I've appreciated the support and understanding that my friends and family have had about my preferences towards dating foreign women. I?ve always had a feeling that some of them simply wrote off my aversion to dating American women as some kind of personal eccentricity or some sort of brainwashing by stuff I was reading on the internet. But then, one day I was SHOCKED when I happened to come across material presented by several leading American researchers and relationship experts who absolutely agreed with? happier abroad?s views and with the complaints I've been espousing all my life about most American women as dating and relationship partners. For me personally, it was nothing short of vindication. (See my Research Section for proof of this). With this new found evidence, I felt inspired to share this truth with other men to help them shed the false stereotypes that exist in our culture about finding love and marriage overseas and to encourage them to look at the facts instead of the stereotypes. We present evidence that shows that men have far better dating options for love and marriage by going overseas, especially if a man?s goal is to stay married.
deep passion and inspiration for this subject matter stems from the fact that I
truly care about helping others who are going through what myself and many
other guys have gone through. I have observed way too
many frustrated single men in
in my opinion, girls from small towns, country girls, and ?real?christian girls
tend to be very down to earth, genuine, non materialistic, and humble in
similar ways that foreign ladies tend to be. That being said, however, even
these types of woman have been infected to some degree with the downsides of
feminism and the narcissim of American culture. Unfortunately, good family
values and good relationship qualities are simply becoming harder and harder to
find with woman of mainstream
So, as you can see, our claims about what is happening to American woman are not some crazy ideas by a group of disgruntled guys who have an axe to grind. But rather, our claims are quite legitimate and supported by leading American experts. Again, it bears repeating, please refer to our ?research? section on the left side menu bar on our home page to see sourced research and expert quotes that support our claims here at happier abroad.
The two types of frustrated Men in
1) Those who have trouble getting a date with anyone at all ? these types tend to have one or several of the following characteristics that severely limit their success
??? in the states : physically unattractive, obese, extremely broke, uneducated, or socially inept. They types can still do very well overseas due to the law of supply?
??? and demand. In general, in Asia,
??? looking for husbands. Another reason these type of guys can do well abroad is due to the differences in what woman are looking for in a mate. Foreign woman
??? don't marry a guy because he is "cute" or "cut" or has a certain ?image?. Marriage for them is about security, family and faith. And niceness and character really
??? counts with them. With foreign ladies, its more about ?who you are? as opposed to ?what you are? in terms of career status and income?).??
2) Those who have attractive qualities (i.e. great looks, highly educated, strong intellect, good job etc) ? Many of these men simply have not been able to find the
??? type of woman they would want to settle down with. Therefore they choose to remain single. I myself definitley fall into this category. I have found that
???? the majority of men who are dissatisfied
with the dating scene in
???? that clearly comes from a man in this
category puts it best: ?I can't speak for everyone but getting
dates or getting laid in
for me. What was a problem was the lack of high quality females in
??? In addition, further down below in this article, I document a report from the United States Immigration Services that describes the characteristics of the type of men?
??? that typically go abroad for love and marriage and as it turns out, their report reveals that the typical type of men who do this are not ?losers? as popular American
??? society stereotypes would have you believe. What the USCIS report found was just the opposite! The typical man who goes abroad for love and marriage is??
??? highly educated and successful! They found that these men tend to hold managerial/white collar type of job positions. Imagine that! Not a bad crowd to be a part
??? of huh? So much for stereotypes. Right??
The Perfect Storm?
- that makes
The American dating scene is extremely unique and unlike any other dating scene in the world. Below is a summary of what I will discuss in this article. Every item below is documented by research studies and expert opinion which can be found in the ?research? section of happier abroad. I call it the perfect storm.
1) The obesity epedemic - Immediatley wipes out *70% of the potential dating pool for men (UNLESS a man happens to like fat woman?).
???????????????????????????? ??????????????As per the
*Before anyone considers this as shallow, lets turn the tables a bit and consider the UNIVERSALLY TRUE FACT that woman almost always say that they are
not attracted to men who are shorter than them. Woman tell me this ALL THE TIME! Scientific studies bare this out. So if we are to accuse men of being
shallow for not being attracted to overweight woman, then we must also say that most woman are shallow for not being attarcted to short men. In fact, I saw
a nbc news piece about
internet dating in
$15,000 more income to make up for it. Besides, we all know that men are visual creatures. We cant control what we are attracted to anymore than a woman
can when it comes to short men. And to women?s credit, men are more sensitive to an obese woman than woman are to an obese man. Fact is, there are just
some unavoidable biological truths of attraction in play that cant be denied and that affect both sexes.
2) Severe gender imbalance ? Over abundance of single men (10-15% in most cities) on the market allowing woman to develop spoiled, picky, and unappreciative attitudes. See proof here http://www.halfsigma.com/2008/04/unmarried-mal-1.html
woman 2nd least flirtatious in the world which explains why
its so easy to meet woman when men go overseas vs here in the
Feminism has taught woman to
be emotionally independent of and to not need men. Dating in an environment
where woman NEED men is a night and day difference compared to the
American woman are
generally unapproachable ? See the approachable faces section of
happier abroad to see what I mean. http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page61.htm#ApproachableFaces
Do you notice the difference in attitudes?? As the experts tell us, most
communication is non verbal. Go to any public venue in the
?I can only speculate and surmise that the individualistic values of our nation that create a sense of separateness in the self, coupled with the modern feminist culture that overempowers women to lose their femininity and become independent, has caused some type of imbalance that has changed their human nature. These two factors could very likely produce a strong but false sense of self and ego, an illusion that American women overprotect in unnatural ways, such as by emanating this anti-stranger, unapproachable force field, among other things.??
Any man who has traveled overseas to Latino, asian, or Russian/Euro cultures can attest to this huge difference with the attitudes of the woman in public. How can a guy meet woman at US public venues when they are so closed off and unreceptive towards men?????
American woman are
For men in their upper 30?s or 40?s or 50?s, it is extremely unlikely a girl in
her 20?s will date you. Or, for guys in their mid 40?s and 50?s, its unlikely
that a girl even in her early 30?s will want to date you. This leaves those men
with few good options unless you actually prefer older woman and the baggage
that typically accompanies them by this age. It?s a simple fact that woman in
. ????????? 3:17 - 4:11?.? Talks about how in
????????????????????????????????? attract the type of woman he would want unless perhaps he is a very rich man
4:54 - 6:20 .?.Discusses the politically incorrect truth about no matter how old men get, they still
???????????????????????????????? find themselves attracted to younger woman.
- 9:44 .?..Dating scene in
?????????????? ??????????????????judgementalness of American woman. How age differences are percieved
??????????????????????????????? differently between the two cultures. For example, a 40 yr old man approaching a
??????????????????????????????? 20 to 25 yr old
woman in the
??????????????????????????????? Creepy. But
what is so refreshing about the
??????????????????????????????? this is totally non existent!!
About the Research Section of Happier Abroad
other purpose of the the Research Section section here at
happier abroad that I created for this site helps resolve a perceived shortcoming of Winston Wu's
website. This perceived shortcoming was a lack of factual ?legitimacy?.
While Winston does support much of his information with evidence
based links, it was less comprehensive than the Research Section now
presents. We wanted Happier Abroad to be more than just an opinion piece. I
wanted to take it to the next level by backing up the information
presented with world renowned American expert opinions and research. No
longer can anyone attribute Happier Abroad as just a group of
negative disgruntled guys on a rant against American culture and the
Abroad goes above and beyond the other 100?s of like minded websites that carry
a similar message by documenting facts, research, and expert opinion which we
have posted in the ?research? section of this website. In this section of
Happier Abroad, we quote world renowned american experts such as Dr Laura
Debunking the false stereotypical term ?Mail Order bride?
There is no such thing as a mail order bride. These women use the internet to communicate with men now, just like a normal dating site. In fact, there is now an abundance of foreign woman profiles on most of the mainstream American dating sites such as yahoo personals and plenty of fish.com. No one is ordered to be a bride and never has been. This old axiom came about due to the fact that before the internet came about, American men and foreign woman had no choice but to communicate by mail. In addition, men and woman profiles were placed in catalogs due to the absence of the internet back then. The term is still used today mainly as a shaming tactic used against men who would consider going abroad for love and marriage as searcing for love abroad is still somewhat stygmatized, though is becoming less so as time goes on.?
that many woman in
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? This dysfunctionalness contributes to the highest divorce rate in the entire world
AMERICAN WOMAN ? THE? BAD BOY SYNDROME
In the paragraph below, Dr Laura is touching upon the ?Bad boy? syndrome of American woman which is why so many are so dysfunctional. This commonly known syndrome is about how American woman often prefer the jerks instead of the nice guys. In most other countries however, the reverse is true, Foreign? woman prefer the nice guys because foreign woman come from healthier cultures where woman are simply more emotionally stable, far more mature, and more psychologically grounded than their American counterparts of the same age. Foreign woman just have a healthier disposition about them which is quite clear to see when one travels abroad. Foreign woman simply recognize better than American woman do that ?nice? guys make for a more healthy and stable relationship than the ?bad boy? player types do.??
DR LAURA PROVIDES EXAMPLE OF THESE DYSFUNCTIONALITIES :
?As a radio talk- show host/psychotherapist, I?ve got to tell you how remarkably true and sad it is that so many women struggle to hold on to some jerk, keep giving an abusive or Philandering man yet another chance, have unprotected sex with some guy while barely knowing his last name, agree to shack up and risk making babies with some opportunist or loser, all in a pathetic version of a pursuit for love, but will resent the hell out of treating a decent, hardworking, caring husband with the thoughtfulness, attention, respect, and affection he needs to be content. It boggles my mind. What further puts me in boggle overdrive is how seemingly oblivious and insensitive many women are to how destructive they are being to their men and consequently to their marriages. Women will call me to ask if its alright to go off on extended vacations ?without him? when they want freedom or R&R, or if its ok to cut him off from sex because they?re annoyed about something or just too tired from their busy day, or if they really have to make him a dinner when he gets home from work because its just too tedious to plan meals. (Doctor Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg xiv) ?
??She discovered that she was becoming more naggy, hostile, and bitter, with a growing feeling that she was being cheated out of life. When her husband came home, she stopped going to the door with a hug and a kiss, stopped showing affection, stopped having sex, and even stopped the good-night kiss. Basically, she was blaming her husband for her unhappines, insiting that it was up to him to go out of his way to please her and pamper her to make up for how difficult her life was. Never mind how difficult his day was- which was only amplified by his wife?s angry discontent.? (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 121-122)
?Generation Me? women spend less time on house work than our mothers did; we expect to split things 50/50 with our male partners, and when this doesn?t happen we often explode.? (Generation Me, pg 196)
See this yahoo news video that discusses more BAD BOY dysfunctionality with many American woman
MORE EXAMPLES OF DYSFUNCTIONALITY
Mark Davis of Euopean Dream connections shares a dating story about his date with an American woman
Apparently, Mark was set up on a date by a female friend of his. But even though the date went very well, she didn?t want a 2nd date with Mark as explained below:
?She said that Angie called her after the date and said you guys had a great time, but she thought she was troubled that you sent her an email right when you got home. She is terrified of stalkers and you violated the 72 hour no-contact rule. WHAT!?!?!?! Yep, that's right. I had violated her unwritten law about waiting 72.3 hours before communicating after a first date. Evidently, I learned that Angie had other "issues" in her life, but her friend hoped that we'd make a connection. She thought I was a nice guy who would help her friend find stability for her soul. Sorry, Dr. Davis is not Dr. Phil.?
Misc Internet Quotes
Why do so many good men in the
?I have heard a few
different explanations for this however the most generally accepted one seems
to be the idea that in wealthy countries women don't
need men for providers so they go around with bad guys because they find them
more entertaining. While I can see this as clearly being true in the
It's a simple answer. American society has produced individuals with low attention spans who view boredom as a living hell. The result is that American women want to constantly be entertained and a good man is not as entertaining as the bad boy. In other industrialized countries that you mentioned, people are not constantly excessively stimulated and so do not find good men boring the way American women do.
I think tv plays a big role in this. Americans watch more tv than
anybody else in the world. There are so many reality tv shows and other crazy stuff that tells women that they can pout, stamp their feet
and demand whatever they want in a man. Also, tv shows and movies in
That's part of it, yes. But it goes deeper than the short
attention span. Mass media tends to influence society in greater measure than
we realize. If you look at
YOU TUBE VIDEO THAT TALKS ABOUT THIS ISSUE OF ?EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE? WITH MANY WOMAN.
U-TUBE video-------? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np4UQX-3jRk
According to many experts such as Dr. Laura Schlessinger
and Jean Twenge, cycling through numerous sexual/hook up type of relationships
(as we do here in
EXPERT OPINION REGARDING THE DYSFUNCTIONAL EFFECTS ON AMERICAN
American culture teaches both men and woman to be whores. Perhaps such a
statement sounds shocking? If you don?t believe me, then believe
?Another cultural-level manifestation of the narcissism epidemic in relationships is the trend toward ?hook ups,? aka ?friends with benefits,? and other commitment free relationships. Narcissists favor short-term relationships. That may help explain why hookups have become so popular. We cannot say for sure that one causes the other. All I can say is these are two trends that go along with each other. (Jean Twenge - Newsweek).
More experts comment about this dysfunctionality:?
One reason the fangs may come out quickly is that many women who have cycled through too many intimate relationships, shack-ups, and marriages, have developed a well of pain and disappointment. (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 51)
The cycle of meeting someone, falling in love, and breaking up is a formula for anxiety and depression (Generation Me, pg 111)
It was clear to me that we?re turning a generation of kids who don?t know how to have a relationship (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 225)
Here is an article
(written yet again by a woman) that covers the reasons why many woman in
1) You?re angry - Female anger terrifies men. (Feminists are angry)
2) You?re shallow - you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.
3) You?re a slut - Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married.
4) You?re selfish - If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.
Reality of the
I want to start off by requoting one of the first paragraphs I came across at Winston?s Happier Abroad website when I first encountered it. It really struck a cord with me when I read it:
?In the US it seems that every decent-looking female is
either taken, super picky, or not even looking, leaving a large percentage of
single males out of luck. They also carry baggage, and are jaded, cynical and
unfeeling, lacking the positive qualities of the feminine. To make matters
worse, they believe that they don't even need men, thus you are unwanted and
unnecessary to them. Somehow, they seem to be "programmed" to reject
and disqualify nearly every guy they meet. It's gotten so bad that it's not
even worth your time to try anymore. The choices just aren't there. Thus,
don?t think any truer words have ever been said regarding the American dating
scene for men. I think that the main reasons for this is that woman in the
The rise in Narcissism with many American woman
In the research section of this site, Ive documented proof that American women are becoming more and more narcisistic. Social psychologist Jean Twenge has discussed the results of her and Gene Campbell?s research that has proven this fact. A direct result of their research resulted in this online news article ?.See this link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html
A perfect example of this narcissism comes from Mark Edward Davis?s E book at http://europeandreamconnections.com? where he shares some of his dating experiences he had with American woman:
??As I went out with a dozen more women ? some irritating themes kept arising. I had one tell me with a condescending swagger, "I've been asked out by many men. If I went out with you, what kind of date would you take me on?" What? Is this a high school talent show and the women are hosting a panel of judges like on American Idol? I couldn't believe the in your-face arrogance! But this was not the first or last time I would detect this type of attitude. The common theme with dating American women was, "Listen, mister, I make good money and I drive a nice car already. What else are you bringing to the table?"
I found on a message board about the
?Women who are in
there 30's and single tend to be 4 things.
1. Very jaded...
2. A single mother with lot's of Drama in her life
3. A single women who who has a mile long list of who she is looking for which you don't picture into.
4. You don't make enough money for her to date you.?
99.99 percent of
We are talking mainstream guys, not misfits.
Also keep in mind that
there are vast numbers of mainstream men in
The Gender Imbalance that works against American men
1) As per Jean Twenge,
actually thousands more single young men than women in
2) In addition, national statistics show that in the 25-40 age group, single men outnumber single woman by 10-20%?. This imbalance is HUGE!! ?
See the stats here ?http://www.halfsigma.com/2008/04/unmarried-mal-1.html
It results in Woman have the upper hand in the dating scene. Numbers do not lie- have a look at statistics across the country and you will see that overall, young men outnumber young women by somewhere around 11:10. In some places it is 12:10 or more. Add to this the fact that Hollywood brainwashes young women that they deserve rich and handsome young husbands with big cars and great careers and houses, and the fact that 20% of sexy hunks with money and good looks get 80% of the women, and you have a recipe for a disaster for a simple young man who just wants a date. He can't get one because numbers and statistics are not in his favor. Social and demographic trends are not in his favor. The Puritanical culture of not talking to strangers is not in his favor. In other words, he is behind the eight ball when it comes to dating.
above cold facts are not known to the average American Joe. So when he has
trouble finding a date (at least one that he would find attractive), he is told
that he is the problem. He is told that he lacks social skills to pick up women
and needs to work on himself, that he needs to get a better job and improve his
appearance, lose weight and develop confidence, pump
some iron, or take a karate class etc. All this is a direct result of the bad
demographics in the
The solution to the problem is simple- the surplus of men should go to places on Earth where there is a shortage of men. We must export the attractiveness (and good reputation) of the American male to global markets where they are in demand rather than depending on the domestic markets alone. If that is being a loser, (as the stereotype goes) than any export company that tries to find better markets for its products is a loser, too. Can you imagine someone writing an email to a large global company such as Apple or IBM with billions in sales around the world and saying something like this:
?You loser, what's wrong with the good old American market? Why can't you find an American customer? What?s wrong with you??
?Hey what's wrong with American investors? Why sell our treasury bills to the Chinese and Saudis??
As it happens, an American Citizen ( of any race, age and looks) is in greater demand in many countries than he is at home where he is surplus merchandise. Men need to take advantage of marketing themselves on the global scale where they are in much higher demand.
?In South American countries, as
men continue to migrate to the Upper Tier countries, they leave behind an
ever-increasing female-to-male ratio. The pressure to compete for the available
men forces the ladies to
stay sharp and in-shape. It's simply a matter of supply and demand. In
?In American gyms, there are always a lot more men than women
working out to stay buff and impress the opposite sex. In the Lower Tiers
Try it and
you will see what I mean. Go to two cities-
notice that instead of steely, suspicious supercilious looks that you get from
women in the
So, why are
they so nice? Most Americans falsely assume that its because the ladies think
you have money. Perhaps with a small minority of woman, this may be a
significant factor. But with most, it?s simply because good men are hard to
find over there. The gender imbalances being far more single woman than men (just
the opposite situation of the
Flirtation study names
U Tube clip about this study http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ1MMput45Q&feature=youtube_gdata_player
(Note what the American ladies say and the way they respond when interviewed about this in this video. It just serves to confirm this study?s conclusion)
This is also one of the
biggest reasons why the
women are the ?least flirtatious? in the world, with the exception of those
They are less than half as a likely as women from
Internet Forum Comments I collected on this subject
?I find that American women will look in the opposite direction when passing me without making any eye contact AT ALL. In addition, only a select few will return a hi or hello and even that is forced. This is part of the overall paranoia American women have about men. Feminism drills it into them that men are potential rapists or abusers and this seeps into the psyche of the women who are on "creepy guy" alert at all times. Just browse American dating profiles and see how many American woman profiles mention the word creep such as ?Im looking for a non creepy guy?.
?How true! American women avoid eye contact with men at all costs! If you do make eye contact with them, they immediately look away. Other guys I know, have said the same thing. This occurs anywhere in public places, like bookstores, grocery stores, shopping malls and health clubs.?
?How are you supposed to approach women in
?That's all part of the
culture shock of travelling to other countries. We are so used to being ignored
and demonized here at home that when we travel out of the country we have to
make adjustments because "we're not in
?I randomly got chatting to a Filipina on yahoo today. It was fairly casual, but then she said "Let me show you something" and requested for me to see her webcam. When I accepted, she held up to the camera a piece of paper that had "I LIKE YOU" written on it. No one told her to do this, she did it out of her own sense of creative feelings. You would NEVER get this kind of sentiment from a Western woman. See this is the kind of stuff that makes us Western guys never ever be able to go back to our native women.?
American men make the ERRONEOUS assumption that all woman around the world are basically the same
Throughout most of my single life, I've always had an attraction to foreign women and spent most of my life dating foreign born woman. From my experiences, (with some exception to small town country woman) , I have found foreign women to be more humble, more natural, more genuine, more authentic, more down to earth, more appreciative, and more accommodating, and especially far less materialistic. And foreign woman do not have a sense of entitlement like is so common with woman in the West. But it wasn't until I traveled and dated overseas that I found out just how vast these differences between American and foreign women really were.
Unfortunately, we all
tend to have a strong subconscious assumption that for the most part, besides
speaking a different language and having different customs, that women?s basic
behaviours and attitudes are pretty much the same the world over. This is a
HUGELY wrong?? assumption that most men
seem to make. While there are some things that woman the world over do have in
common, there are many critical things that they DO NOT have in common and this
is of HUGE significance when it comes to the dating scene for men. One
consistent theme we see when going abroad is that the woman overseas are
generally of better quality in many ways. For starters, other countries do not
suffer the unhealthy obesity epedemic like we do here in the states. Then
personality wise, woman abroad are far more genuine, authentic , approachable,
pleasing, sweet, tender, and feminine (feminine = shy,blush, or even giggle
when you flirt with them). When was the last time you saw a woman in
The dating scene is not the only thing that improves when you go abroad. Its also your overall mental health and the way you feel about yourself, especially for men, because for men, having 1000?s of easily obtainable gorgous sweet woman all wanting to be with you has a drastic impact on your self esteem and sense of self worth.
?the macho orientation of other non western cultures teaches woman to cherish their womanhood, and gives priority to the well being of the male of the family: ?Take care of your husband? is an early lesson taught on these cultures.? This creates a culture in which women are kind, warm, and very nurturing?and interested in treating you like a prince!?(www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
?Tainted by feminism and materialism, many American women not only expect a lot from their men, they don?t want to give very much in
return. Instead of appreciation, many cultivate the popular ?bitchy?(or nagging) attitude that many American guys have become so accustomed to.? (www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
?Unless you have traveled you don?t know whats out there. The differences with the woman are astounding.?
Another post at plentyoffish.com dating site message board
?The last three years of being on the American dating market - made me realize it isnt for me at all. All the time I spent abroad with the military- I know there is better behavior, and I wont settle for the drama and prattle. And gladly didnt. Get a language, and get out - see the world, your love life will be much happier for the trip.? (http://forums.plentyoffish.com/8048721datingPostpage6.aspx)
Another post at plentyoffish.com dating site message board
I?ve met a few foreign women in real life and online, and the main thing I have found (And im bound to offend someone with this statement) that foreign women were less spoiled, and more understanding of lifes hardships. I find too many American women to be spoiled brats who are superficial and shallow, and in the long run care about one thing. Money. If i had my ultimate choice I would only date forieng women. But its not a realistic choice in a small town in the middle of nowhere. (http://forums.plentyoffish.com/8048721datingPostpage6.aspx)
Consider this excerpt from Mark Davis of European Connections
as he talks about his experience in
?We went to different dance clubs each night and spent a lot of time with many beautiful women. hey were very different from the others I'd just been dating in the States. It was something about their culture and appreciation of men that grabbed my attention. Everything they did, said, asked was about me first and foremost. When I was with one of these bronze beauties, the questions were about me: my life, likes, interests, experiences. They would continually gauge my state of mind and body ? was I hungry, bored, or thirsty? They wanted to know so they could respond in kind.When I was with one of these women, I was their world ? even if it was for only that hour. The way they view beauty is unique. It is something they have to work for each day. They are mindful of how they dress, put on makeup, their style, posture, physical fitness, and presence. It is work for them and they just wanted to know that it was appreciated and noticed. To give a sincere complement about some specific attribute will make them light up like a Christmas tree. It seemed to make their efforts to be beautiful all worthwhile. To enjoy being with these women was effortless. I never felt self-conscious. I was embraced like the man of the hour. And it truly was their pleasure.?
More excerpts from Mark Davis of European Connections as he talks about his experiences with foreign woman for which I have also experienced as true
?In her fourth letter to me she asked a profound question. It's a question that makes all of this very simple. She asked, "What would you like a woman to do every day, to act or be, for you to feel happy?" What would I like for a woman to do for me every day to make me feel happy? Wow. That blew me away. Have you ever had an American woman ask you that question??
? The second thing that impressed me was the way they respected men and seemed genuinely curious about me and my life. Hey, we all need an
ego boost now and then. Frankly, we can feel beat down in the dating scene at home and sometimes it can be strategic to receive such complementary letters from gorgeous women.?
Differences in Humility
often than not, the attitude of an attractive American woman is ?Hell yea Im
hot?! Just go visit any singles bar or club scene in
But a foreign woman will often deny her beauty. In fact, when you tell a foreign girl (especially a filipina) that she is beautiful or pretty, most of the time she will deny it and say ?no Im not? or she may say ?there are other girls much more pretty than me?. When I asked my filipina friend why filipinas usually respond this way, she said the following ?Out of humility or shyness, plus we?re brainwashed for our heads not to get big if someone is complementing us...so to moderate we sort of pass the glory to others?.
The reason for these
differences is due to the rise of narrcissism in American culture (see the
research section for proof). Social psychologist Jean Twenge repeatedly states
that the rise? in narcissism in
In her book, Jean Twenge states ?In many ways, humility is the opposite of narcissism. Some people misconstrue humility as bad, equating it with shame or self-hatred. Humility is not the same as humiliation. True humility is a strength - the ability to see or evaluate yourself accurately and without defensiveness (notice we said ?accurately? not ?negatively?). Overall, humble people are more connected to others. ?When you don?t concentrate on pumping up the self, it is easier to relate to other people and the wider world. (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 283)
And often you will see foreign woman profiles that say? ?Looking for a man to accept me for who I am?. Compare this sweet humble attitude of the foreign lady profiles to that of most American lady profiles of? "I need, I want, must have, (you) must be....college, job, income, etc.?
A few internet posts I came across also comments on this humblness
?I must say on sites such as dateinasia where you rate your appearance many Asian women will say they are average or below average and still look better than many American women that say they are attractive or very attractive on their profiles at American dating sites. Meh.?
?What I find best about the people here (and the women) is the
nearly complete lack of pretension. Even if you go to an upscale mall in the
I believe that this difference in humblness
is another reason why foreign woman make such quality marriage partners with
only a 20% divorce rate compared to
Foreign woman are generally more compassionate and empathetic to others? hardships and sufferings
It's a proven sociological fact that poorer people tend to be more kind, compassionate and friendly than middle class and above people due to their need to be more interdependent with others to get by. As women from non industrialized foreign countries tend to come from poorer society?s, they tend to have these better social qualities.??
?Poor people are quicker than middle-class or rich individuals to recognize the suffering of others and to show compassion, according to a new study."These latest results indicate that there's a culture of compassion and cooperation among lower-class individuals that may be born out of threats to their well-being," study author and social psychologist Jennifer Stellar said in a university news release."Upper-class individuals appear to be more self-focused?
The HUGE Approachability difference between American and foreign woman?
While I?ll admit that the the personification of many American women below is exagerrated,? it does have a grain of truth to it.?
A view into the mind of an American woman when she is being approached by a man whom she doesn?t know?
While the following examples below are some of the worse or more extreme examples that often happen to men when approaching a lady at a bar or singles scene in America, it nevertheless reflects the problems that are out there today with many American women. When approached, especially if the lady is attractive, many American women will often:
1) Flat out ignore him (10%-15% of the time)
2) Turn away from him, and laugh ?at him? with her friends at his supposed "lame" attempt to talk to her. (10% of the time)
??????????? * Ive witnessed this numerous times. Apparently many American women get some kind of egotistical thrill by humiliating men in front of their friends. There
????????????? are many YouTube videos by men who complain about this sick narcissistic behavior by so many American women. (This kind of sick narcissism is
????????????? completely non existent overseas!).
????? 3)?? Put off a vibe of total indifference (90% of the time)
????? 4)?? Put off a vibe that shows that she thinks she is too good for him (60% of the time)
????? 5)? Display body language that clearly shows that she wishes that the guy would just leave her the hell alone! (70% of the time)
*Again, these behaviours seem to mostly occur with the attractive women, not so much with the unattractive or overweight ones.
1-5 above just covers how woman treat men in the bar scene. But what about in public like at the malls and stores? Well, it?s still really bad when approaching woman at these places too. Winson Wu of happier abroad describes this issue best :
Trying to meet and approach
young women in the
In fact, it?s widely agreed
among well-traveled playboys that the
What sucks about America, despite its many ideal qualities, is that the only truly friendly open women are the large ones, while the non-overweight ones are generally stuck-up and unapproachable (though in many areas, such as LA, even ugly girls are rude and uppity).
On the other hand, in the rest of the world, women feel flattered
and react warm and sweetly when you approach them, whether they are interested
or not, whether they are available or not. They don?t get offended or see
it as creepish. Many often giggle or
blush in the process (how many American women nowadays blush or
giggle?). In fact, the difference in approachability
is greater than the average American who?s never left their country can
imagine. Even if you approach a female movie star, model, or married woman in
To try to put it into words, an approachable girl looks at ease, relaxed, open and friendly. It's in her face, body language and aura too. She makes eye contact with others, smiles back at people, and has an open body posture. An unapproachable girl, on the other hand, has a closed narrow vibe and look on her face. She is uptight, serious, focused, does not make eye contact with others, and has a "don't bother me" look on her face. When you try to muster the courage to talk to her, you will feel a cold chill and an alarm will go off in you that says, "DO NOT! NOT ALLOWED! INAPPROPRIATE!" It has nothing to do with guts or bravery at all.?
The internet is full of men complaining about the unapproachability of American woman:?
This one taken from the message board at plentyoffish.com
Try taking the stigma of sexual
harrassment out of the American way of life and dating would be sooooo much
better. I work in Europe and the
This one taken from single dudetravel.com
?American women also have the
most unattractive feeling of self-entitlement. The difference between how
hot a girl thinks she is and how quality she actually is huge in
??????????? Winston Wu?s of happier abroad talking about his experience in Russia
?????????? That afternoon, when the tour was over, they dropped us off at the Hermitage, this gigantic museum that was like a labyrinth inside. Near the end of the
?????????? tour, this tall skinny attractive brunette with a totally cute smile made eye contact with me, and I with her. She seemed interested in me, so we
?????????? approached each other. She was a tourist too, with a video camera (Russians with video cameras must come from rich families obviously!). She
?????????? started speaking to me and asked if I was Japanese. I said no, that I was American. And then from there we had a friendly cute conversation, even
?????????? though she barely spoke any English. I could tell she was interested in me, so I told her where I was staying at and asked if I could telephone her later.
??She said yes and we exchanged
phone numbers. Wow, a gorgeous girl like that has NEVER approached me out of
nowhere in the
Why is it this easy in
rich family since she has a small electronic camcorder, was able to
afford to go to a $20 ballet (most Russians make $50 a month), has been to
?????????? before, and has braces too (which most Russians can't afford). She obviously seemed to like me too, since she was very flirty and friendly with me. I
can't believe it was that easy to meet her here. In
These unapproachability problems are part of the insensitive and jaded attitudes that feminism has instilled to some degree or another in most of our woman today in America, as well as the innate premise and idea that woman generally don?t need men. Most of us are unaware of this on a conscious level. It exists mostly at a subconscious level because it?s part of our American culture that has taught woman to be this way. One phrase that Dr Jean Twenge used in her book to describe this lack of awareness is ?..?A fish doesn?t know it?s in water?!? This unsweet egotistical type of behavior by many American women in the singles/bar scene today is one of the main things that finally pushed me over the edge to become an ardent activist for helping men realize they don't have to deal with this kind of insensitive attitude. When I traveled overseas, one of the biggest differences I noticed is that girls do not have a unapproachable force field around them, they openly flirt and have a natural relaxed air about them. Foreign women simply aren?t as guarded, they?re more kinder, sweeter, and friendly due to the environment that they were rasied in. Men who havent traveled simply wont have a point of reference for comparing foreign woman to their local woman. If all American men had experienced dating abroad at some point in their lives, they?d realize how much better their dating options are overseas! But most guys don?t know this so they end up marrying an? American girl and then ultimately pay the price down the road through either a miserable marriage or through divorce.
Foreign men know this difference is real. See this post at plenty of fish.com dating site
?Well I am also one of those foreigners and
whilst I accept cultural changes and social activities are very different from
either Europe or the PacificYou are right rider1083 In Europe giving a
compliment and also bantering play is acceptable even encouraged by the women
whereas in the USA to do so is to open doors which should not be opened. Most
of the time people in the
Another post at Plenty of fish.com confirming this approachability issue
?Here - a hello will get you a cold chill, indifference, ignored, or a guarded prefunctory and cursory greeting back with no feed back to larger conversation. No kitsche trite pick up lines - just a simple 'Hello' It goes nowhere in this culture?
Below is a sample U tube video of other men talking about how American woman tend to be unfreindly and unapproachable:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7ZlIpwU9BE&feature=youtube_gdata_player? (see segment 4:09 to 5:10)
Internet post that describes this ?MEN ARE CREEPS? mentality that American woman have when approached by men
I am personally sick
and tired of this " all men are creepy" attitude of american women.
If i find them physically attractive i am a weirdo and creepy. if i ask them
what their name is then i must i have some motive to hurt them. which is
i currently live in west
if you show any interest in a woman here including if you find her physically attracitve. she will think potential stalker who want sex. as if sex is really bad.
so they run as fast as they can because they are so so scared of men that are sexually interested in them. again going back to the creepy mentality they
Men are creepy if he asks the new lady where she lives. "oh no, he is planning on finding me at my home so he can hurt me."
If a man is behind a
woman to long on the same side of the street and he looked at her in anyway. he
is instantly a stalker.
This is how women think in
Again, i am very tired of this image forced upon me as a potential attacker or rapist.
and it's my job to prove to her that i am not dangerous. fuck that shit !!!.
I am now working really really hard to go and live where things are very peaceful and normal. this creepy mentality is NOT natural. I want peace
in my life and a normal environment where it is okay for me to be a man and pursue, chase, and flirt.
That's the culture in
are 3 sample Fan mails we received here at happier abroad from foreign men
1) ?American women are the most spoiled, unfriendly, unapproachable and anti-social women in the world!?
2) ?It's hard to meet women when they are unapproachable and give off that vibe that says " don't approach me unless I already know you!"
3)?Since I came here WOW my dating life has dramatically decreased to the point that the confidence that I had at the beginning was shattered. It is?
?? almost unbelievable how unapproachable women are here. When you approach a girl here she feels like you are going to rape her. Even if she finds???
?? you cute, she feels like you should be the one to go to her because she is so perfect and even if you do that; she plays mind game with you. You?
? call her, she is either very busy ( on weekends ) or she does not answer. I have never experienced this before, and frankly I never thought that a
? country such
4) ?foreign women are the best, you just have to meet them in THEIR country. they are so so different friendly, social, open.
??? they can change super fast and become unapproachable because of the american environment. Woman aren't bitchy everywhere, just typically in???
In my experience with? traveling and dating abroad, it was so uplifting to see how much sweeter and kinder foreign women behaved towards me in bars and singles scenes. For the first time, I saw how women were truly meant to be - sweet, soft, kind, considerate, feminine, and having a very open and receptive vibe about them. The indpependent feministic? attitude that says ?I don?t need you? is totally non existent abroad.?
Could this ease of approachability as shown in the U tube video below happen with an American woman?
In this video below, a guy is trying to get to know a girl in the car next to him by offering a coffee. She says no, so he gives her one. Then he demands to get her phone number, she says no... see what happens next, LOL Love it!
Internet quotes on the differences between Foreign and American woman
Quotes from an internet forum
Remember that both men and women are largely products of their
immediate environment and surroundings, just like any other animal. The reason
women in foreign countries tend to be more "down to Earth" is because
they have lived in and experienced poverty, disease, famine, war, loss, etc ...
they have known what it is to STRUGGLE, they have seen the world for the
dog-eat-dog place that it is. They end up developing more positive personality
traits over time as a result of being "refined" by their up-bringing,
culture, and parents. Speaking of parents, most foreign women grew up under
the stabilizing influence of their father ... the same can't be said about
most Western women. Religion is also still pretty relevant in most foreign
countries and I believe that is a big factor that contributes to their more
On the other hand, Western women are probably the most pampered, privileged, entitled, and spoiled group to have ever walked the face of the Earth! The media, corporations, special interest groups work in tandum to promote, inflate, and perpetuate the typical Western woman's ego and delusional fantasies. Western women are told they are all perfect little angels that deserve the world and more, the "average men" are simply not worthy of having the "privilege" of being in their presence.
They are spoon-fed on a Hollywood diet of propaganda, subliminal messages, and romantic chick-flick bullshit from an early age to such an extent that by the time they are 30, 35, 40 most of them are STILL clinging onto the fantasy of "I just have to hold out a little longer and Mr. Right, with his millions and millions of dollars is going to come into my life, marry/rescue me, and we will live happily ever after in a giant mansion with three wonderful kids ... love WILL find me if I just wait a little longer!" ... Yes guys, Western women really can be THAT delusional.
And if all of this wasn't bad enough, Western women are increasingly being raised in the absence of their father, who either was ca$hed in by mommy in a divorce or was a one-night stand (a bad boy that "hit it & quit it" and was never seen again). Then there is religion/morality/values/etc ... these things are virtually non-existant in the West, with the "MTV culture" dominating the minds of the masses, and Western women are lapping it up like a sponge unhindered by any set of "rules", concrete or abstract.
What you promote you get more of. In the Western nations, the darker side of female nature is being promoted and encouraged while whatever redeeming female characteristics that were left are slowly but surely disappearing. In foreign countries the society still keeps a tight lid on female hypergamy (or at least tries to) and encourages "good" behavior (resisting the lure of the bad boy, being a good mother, respecting her husband, etc) which benefits everyone, including the woman.
American women talk this junk about game and swag which makes interactions very contrived and artificial. It seems like being sincere, natural, and down to earth is synonymous with being weak to American woman. You have to have game and show them what you got to be considered a real man.
The typical filipina understands what it is like to be hungry and to do without. She knows how to adapt and to adjust. She has a perspective that is not held by western cultures. She is much less materialistic and more tolerant and more patient. She understands the value of family and community. She appreciates the small things in life and she understands people. She understands the roles that men and women should play in a marriage. She has extraordinary interpersonal skills and communicates well - even though she is usually very shy and reserved in public. And she has a high level of morality, honesty and integrity. These characteristic are all a product of her environment and her culture and they make her very attractive to most men.
Testimonials from American men who have discovered the difference
?nice website. my story of leaving
2) ??????? i really disliked living in the states. i don't think it was my problem not getting women. i think it is american women who are the problem. why is it so easy for me to find a mate here? it is like a night and day difference. american women wouldn't even look at me and i'm not that ugly. after many years of traveling back and forth and visiting many countries including china, indonesia, cambodia, & laos i decided to move for good. i really think i made the right move. i'm confident in that. my life is 10x happier here. i'm not depressed anymore. i'm great around women. i'm "THE MAN" here.
"Hi all, well my story is about the same as yours, but here
it is anyway: for a long time I blamed myself for my lack of success with
American women. So, I worked hard for many years to improve myself to the point
where I would be worthy of a decent American woman. I got myself a Ph.D., then
a job at an Ivy-league school, got myself into excellent physical shape, took
up lots of cool hobbies like skiing, tennis, ballroom dance... and I was still
getting rejected by women who had no business being picky! I had my epiphany
when I was 33 and dating an overweight, 42-year-old, divorced mother who dumped
me because I didn't have a "wild side". So then I did some traveling
to (among other places)
?When I'm in a country like
I dont want to bunch all American girls into one big lump....BUT -- the majority of them due to culture or something act really snotty and stupid - like we?re not GOOD ENOUGH for them. i swear i went 12yrs in the bay area - and rarely found a girl who even batted an eye....and quite frankly i started to lower my own standards lower and lower....and for what? The moment i traveled anywhere else - i found girls that would SINK any american girl that ignored me...now i have a wife that turns heads left and right - but she is staring right into my eyes with love. Real love!
A Real Life Story that typifies the average American male?s dating experience abroad??
The author of www.globaldatingrevolution.com describes what I myself also experienced when traveling abroad when he wrote the following story
?I was on a flight to
my aunt persuaded me to do them a big favor. My Bolivian cousin Enrique had
received a visa to come to the
mother, knowing how frustrated I was with my love life, told me that the trip
was also a good way for me to meet Bolivian women. And not coincidentally, all
of my male cousins in
After hearing all of my aunt?s stories about Enrique, I pictured him as very smooth and suave, confident and dominant?the living example of the Alpha Male I?d been reading about in the dating books. I hoped I could learn a few things from him. I also hoped he?d introduce me to some of his sexy, Bolivian female friends.
When I arrived at my cousin?s house, Enrique wasn?t there. But my female cousins, along with my uncle and my grandmother, were there to greet me. We had all gathered in the kitchen when Enrique finally walked in. ?Hey cousin, long time no see!? he said, in Spanish, giving me a hug and a handshake. I was happy to see him, but I was also shocked by his appearance. Not suave, certainly no Alpha Male, Enrique?s hair was sloppy, and his clothes were worn and faded. In fact, when I first met my cousin, I actually looked a lot better than he did! I was confused. Was this the lady?s man my family had told me about? Evidently, I thought, he knows how to seduce women. If he has such great success with hot women, he must. Some guys have it, some guys don?t right?
to learn from him in the six weeks I was to spend in
guess what? I kicked his ass
What I learned during that trip changed my life forever.
four weeks, I had about 40 phone numbers in my pocket, all from very attractive
women. Three of these attractive girls were asking to be my girlfriend. I
didn?t know which one to pick! All three girls were very attractive, friendly,
and very feminine. All I could think was, ?Why hasn?t this every happened in
during my trip, something amazing happened. I was sitting in the central plaza
in the middle of
to her how I already made my choice. That Gabriela had won my heart. Lana was
saddened by this, and I felt sorry?but what could I do? As I tried to console
Lana, all of a sudden Gabriela, who was even sexier then Lana, sat down on the
bench next to us. There I was, the guy who couldn?t get a date with a perfect
red handed, I thought both girls would take turns slapping me, then leave me
there on the park bench all alone to lick my wounds. But this was
whole incident really turned my world upside down. Two beautiful young Latin
women arguing over me, ?Mr.New Jersey Loser.? What did this say about what the
dating experts teach? How was it that this timid, mediocre, skinny guy was
getting hot girls to fight over
him? And with none of the attributes that the experts say you need: I wasn?t
confident or cocky or witty. I didn?t ?move the crowd.? And I was certainly no
Alpha Male! But in
Shirlena and I said our goodbyes, I got my last taste of Bolivian hospitality.
I was preparing to board the plane taking me home to the
boarded the plane, buckled up, and relaxed, thinking about my wonderful time
with the beautiful women I had met in
and that I would land in
the weeks after we landed in
girl, particularly one who looked like Britney Spears! I wished him the best of
luck?and went along with him for the ride. Together, Enrique and I
approached?and were shot down by?so many Jersey-raised women that I lost count.
All of these failed attempts confirmed my theory that my great success in
while we were striking out, I kept telling my cousin, ?It?s not your fault or
my fault. It?s just the way it is here. And the truth is that
it?s not that,? Enrique insisted. ?I have the magic touch for American women.
I?ve seen American movies; I will show you how it?s done.? While I knew that he
couldn?t repeat what I did in
one year in the
of more than one hundred daytime attempts (not including clubs and bars), he
only got three phone numbers. To top it off, the girls that gave him their
numbers were all overweight. In
I started to realize that many men, including many of my personal friends had lowered their standards in this same manner. Because of this harsh dating situation the men settle for whatever they can get and the chubby women find themselves being validated by these men who have grown tired of chasing the attractive women so they settle for less attractive ones.
was being rejected right along with my cousin, but I was used to this, because
I had lived in the
Enrique stayed three years, leaving for
What Enrique and I learned from dating in each other?s country boils down to this: Environment is more important than seduction, looks, sophistication, education, Alpha Male traits, ?game,? charm, charisma, body language, pick-up lines, cockiness, or wealth. It?s great environments, not great men, that create great women and great results!
reason I was having so much success with the ladies is because I was from the
So what was the secret? Well, I wish I could take credit for it, but the truth is I'm the exact same guy I always was. The difference is where I was in the third world, like in Latin America, Eastern Europe or South East Asia, the women haven't bought into all the materialism, careerism and feminism that so many women in the US and UK have bought into. So, they are not only content being a real woman, it's what they want most in life! They want to take care of their man, to make him happy and keep him happy! And it's important that they stay in the best shape possible and take care of themselves so they have the best shot at getting a man.
only are the women different, but for the first time in my life, the numbers
are working for me instead of against me. Let me give you an example: In
Secondly, my very average salary and very average education in the US actually put me in the top 1% of all men in Latin America, Eastern Europe or South East Asia, so they see me like women in the US or UK might see Sean Connery or Tom Brady.
These factors - the greater ratio of women to men, a traditional culture where the women want to love and respect their men and take care of them, and my first-world income and education - mean that suddenly the girls are fighting for a chance to date average guys like me! All the while, American women back home wouldn't even give me a second look! You can be below average in looks, shy and poor and these extraordinary women will be fighting one another to be at the front of the line.
Older ladies from
countries, women in this city stay thin for a long time. Nonetheless, many are
still single and may never find a husband in
where single men
with economic stability are scarce. Whenever a foreign man enters
over Mr. Average Joe, yes, me!
Differences in weight, presentableness, and appearance standards
Differences in WEIGHT and DRESS STYLE
In regards to the obesity problem - I do have sympathy and understand that for many people, being overweight can?t always be helped, and it affects both men and women equally. Im not placing judgment on anyone with a weight issue. It is what it is. Statistics show that 70% of Americans are overweight. And by the time woman hit their 30?s, that figure is even higher! Most guys I know (probably about 99% of men) are not attracted to overweight woman. So what we have is a situation where 100% of the men are chasing after the top 25% of woman (the 25% who are not overweight). This is why the thin attractive ladies know they are in demand and hence they can afford to be very finicky and choosy and develop spoiled attitudes. They often develop what is commonly known as the ?bitch shield.? In a way, perhaps you can?t really blame them. It?s a natural response as a direct result of constantly being approached all the time. To successfully overcome this impentrable shield, men have to learn to have ?game,? or stand out in some way in order to catch the attention of these very few attractive women. Of course there will always be some men that can overcome all the handicaps and date many attractive women, but not everyone can be a Michael Jordan or Brad Pitt.
One of Happier Abroad?s
fan mails really differentiated this difference between
say a girl in
Compare this to the typical response from men when they go abroad:?
?Once my plane landed in
?women I saw on the streets?.
APPEARANCE AND PRESENTABLENESS IN PUBLIC
woman ALWAYS make an effort to look and dress their best when out in public.
The dress style of European and Russian women is much
more stylish, attractive, classy, and feminine than in America, where women dress much more plainly in comparison (since after
all, even average plain women in the US have their pick of the bunch, thus they
have no need to look top-notch). Foreign women are much better at maximizing
their appearance with clothes/cosmetics and unlike
American women, they love wearing skirts and high heels,
which are much more attractive to men. As with the weight difference,
this is so apparent everywhere you go in these regions that even the biggest
idiot in the world couldn?t help but notice it. In fact, I and other
Americans I?ve met would say that in Russia (and often times in Latin America
and Asia too), about 80 percent of girls are considered ?hot? by American standards, while in the USA, that proportion is,
well, much lower so that any decent looking girl there is treated like a
goddess and put on a pedestal. What is considered ?hot? by American
standards is average in
?Why do these
girls get so dressed up for the airport?? That?s what the two American girls
behind me were saying about the Latin women who were also waiting on the check
in line for our flight to
Look presentable always - Madame Chic wouldn't even go to the corner store to get a baguette without applying lipstick and tying a scarf around her neck, Scott recalled. Looking presentable was a way of honoring the people she came in contact with everyday. "This isn't to be confused with being high maintenance," Scott said."She wouldn't spend an hour in the bathroom flat-ironing her hair and applying meticulous makeup. She had a very quick (routine): 'Le no makeup look' and a very easy hairstyle to follow. Her 10-item wardrobe allowed her to pick something really easily. She wouldn't agonize over what clothes to wear every day like so many of us do."Scott also noticed the family would routinely wear their best clothes for everyday occasions, a lesson she took to heart.
Per Dr Laura Shlessinger on this topic:
?Shahina, a listener, wrote about her sad story of divorce after ten years of marriage. Her husband left her, complaining that they had so little time together (because she was over involved with her mommy and daddy) and he no longer found her attractive. It seems she had gained a tremendous amount of weight by eating too much and exercising too little. I can bet that the reaction of most woman upon reading that is to get their hackles up and proclaim her husband as shallow. Frankly, that hostile reaction itself demonstrates a shallow self centeredness. The impact on our bodies of natural aging, , illness, pregnancies, and so forth is a simple fact of life. The inability to accept these realities betrays immaturity or worse. At the same time, though, the unwillingness to accept responsibility for the upkeep of one's physical or emotional well-being should be met with consternation by a spouse because it is an assault on the marital covenant. And the disregard of the unique feelings and needs of one's spouse is a selfish insult.
"I would try to tell him that I would go on a diet and exercise to lose weight and become more attractive. I thought I would do these things for him so that he would find me attractive. I knew deep down that I did not want to do those things because I wanted him to love me and accept me just the way I was."
This is not an unusual sentiment for me to hear from woman, who express hostility that their husbands would like them to clean up, dress up, and tone up. They act like their husbands are selfish, sex crazed, superficial, insensitive barbarians, which isn't the case. The "if they loved me, they wouldn't make a fuss about such things" point of view is simply irresponsible and destructive. As I said in my chapter on communication, verbal exchange is but one means of communication. A lot is said by one spouse to another by the willingness to fulfill each other's needs. Men have the emotional need to see their wives as desiring them, and the way the wives take care of and present themselves expresses that love.? (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 123-126)
After marriage, and definitley after having children, too many wives contract the ?Frump syndrome,? the symptoms of which include wearing flanel pajamas an socks, or sweat-pants with oversized T ?shirts, to bed instead of some girly thing with lace;not shaving legs or grooming nails;not washing, styling, or even combing hair;taking off (instead of fresheningup) makeup from the day just before your husband comes home; usingthe toilet with him in the room; not making an attempt to smell sweet 9with a little prefume or body oil); and never putting on sexy outfits? in front of your husband. When woman call into my radio program to say that they are unhappy in their marriages, but nothing particularly is actually wrong, I ask themif they have contracted this ailment. Almost universally the answer is yes. When I suggest the obvious cure, I am confronted with some angry, annoyed, resentful, defensive woman! It?s worrisome when women embrace the notion that once they are married, they are entitled to be loved, adored, protected, gifted, romanced, obeyed, and provided for without any effort on their part to create the emotional and psychological environment that would more likely get them all those desires. Sam, a female listener wrote ?women expect to be wooed yet be allowed to l ook haggish and frumpy. It?s hard to romance a hag and come off as being sincere?. What attracts men to women is their femininity, and femininity isnt only about appearance, it?s also about behaviours. Looking womanly and behaving sweetly and flirtatiously are gifts to their husbands. This gift communicates that the husband is seen as a man, not just a fix-it guy, the bread-winner, or the sperm donor. (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 120-121)
Mark Davis of European Dream Connections
?They continually work
on their looks. They dress well and tend to stay fit. This is especially true
for both men and women in Asia and
?The advantage you will have with International Dating is that nearly all of your prospective dates would be 8?s to 10?s by American beauty standards.?
Common Complaints that American men are expressing about many American woman
Theres a big difference between telling someone they can be "better" and telling them they?re substandard. the later tends to be the most common approach of post modern feminist societies, the former is the approach the rest of the world uses.
I love the way Mark Davis of European connections expalins it. In the excerpt below from his E book, he describes how he addresses a common question he would get from the Russian ladies.??
?WHAT?S THE STORY? YOU
COULDN?T FIND A GIRL IN
Another thing I have observed is that foreign women treat men better than American women. Simply put, foreign woman are far more NURTURING. One small example is the fact that many foreign women love to cook for their man. While some American woman do this, truth be told, they are few and far between. On the other hand, most Foreign women Ive seen can cook and they don?t see these types of acts as burdens or slave like behaviours . On the contrary, they see these types of acts as privileges that brings them joy. They feel it solidifies their roles within the relationship and family as a nurturing caregiver.
show that Woman in
NOTE- This does not make these woman bad per se, or less of a woman. Im simply pointing out the fact that generally speaking, woman in America have lost touch with their soft feminine side. Some men are fine with that and if so, that is fine. But many other men prefer more feminine relationship and marriage partners.
Fact is, ?most American men have never traveled abroad so they have no sense of just how much of a difference there really is.
See our research section where Jean Twenge states ?by the early 1990's men and women's scores on the scale of so called masculine traits were indistinguishable. The generational change in masculinity had turned the very definition of the scale on its head: clearly these traits were no longer masculine, but simply human" (Generation Me, pg 12)
?The modern feminist movement that has developed in the wealthy western nations robs women of their true feminine qualities by pushing women to become more like men. These modern feminist women dress like men, walk like men, and are pushed to loose their feminine qualities in exchange for more masculine qualities. Many American woman have lost touch with their instinctual, feminine sides, and are losing the feminine qualities men instinctively seek.? (www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
The Pick up Artist movement in America
Much of my opinion about this subject matches Winston?s opinion piece on the subject matter at http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6811
? The existence of the pick up artist industry
The main problem of the PUA thing is that they tell you there is a cookie cutter formula (Mystery's Model) and that if you master it, you will be a master of picking up chicks. They fail to recognize that the problem lies with the dating environment.
One thing about the whole pick up artist industry that I despise most is that they teach you how to? NOT BE YOURSELF! The presumption is that you are defective, and not deserving of a woman as you are. What a bunch of crap! Trying to be something that you're not all day eventually leads to psychological imbalance and mental dysfunction. Not a good thing. Any man who has dated overseas will tell you what we are telling you. The problem is not you, it?s your dating environment (aka :America). Its all about LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!
Random Internet posts on this PUA subject
I would like to ask
guys who think "PUA" is the greatest thing since sliced bread, how
come in eastern Europe,
Imagine trying to
explain to Thai or Russian men what Pick up artist is about, LOL. The product
only sells in
I was in the
The most important thing in this life is to be yourself! Emulating some popular archetype is the quickest way to destroy your soul. We're not interested in sacrificing our masculinity, our dignity, and becoming soulless zombies in a desperate attempt to gain the acceptance of some toxic American woman
Who is really after your money?
Now, on a different subject matter, I find it amazingly ironic to hear some people say, ?Be careful, these foreign women are only after you for your money. They don't really love you?. My, my, how we Americans are so quick to judge. Americans who give this warning fail to comprehend that it's the average American woman who I fear most in this regard and whom I should be worrying about. Does that sound outlandish? Well, if so, then see expert quotes below for proof of this. Lets see what the experts have to say about who is more driven by money and materialism - American woman vs foreign woman.??
For example, Social Psychologist Jean Twenge says some
pretty damming quotes that clearly indicate she is saying Americans (hence
American woman) are the ones who are driven and overly focused on material
wealth and money, not foreigners. Jean twenge states that one of the key
components of narcissism in
In one dataset, Americans scored in the top 10-20% of nations on narcissism. In another study, Americans obtained higher narcissism scores than people from any other country. Our students might not be the brightest, or our poverty level the lowest, but Americans do just fine on narcissism tests!? (Generation Me, pg 37)??????
?It is interesting
to note, Asians as a group still score relatively low on measures of
narcissism. Within the
In 1976, 16% of American high school seniors said that ?having a lot of money? was ?extremely important.? This ballooned to 26% in 2006. High school students name ?getting a good paying job? as more important than being ?ethical and honorable?. (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 162-163)
In 1967, 45% of college freshman said that ?becoming well off
financially? was important; by 2006, that number increased to 75% . The
A 2006 poll asked children in
Economist Thomas Naylor taught corporate strategy courses at
The upswing in narcissism appears to be accelerating: the increase between 2000 and 2006 was especially steep. The changes were especially large for women (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 31)?????? ?
?According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women?.?
So, let me ask again, who cares more about whether you have money? Yet it is so funny to hear people warn how foreign woman are only after your money when in light of the expert quotes above, it seems to be the American women are going to care more about money.
Monetary issues seldom come up with women from other
countries. Securing a particular lifestyle, usually an improvement over what
their parents enjoyed is #1 on 90% of Anglo Women's minds. Lets be honest, the society of the
On a personal note, Ive given this subject much thought. Ive concluded that if I am to work my butt off to support the woman I love, I would MUCH rather? do so for women who would naturally appreciate it and at least feel grattitude and gratefulness about it. Foreign woman do exactly that! As Dr Laura Schlessinger states, and as Jean Twenge?s research supports, (see our research section) too many American woman have become spoiled and entitled and expect their men to deliver the world on a silver platter. They don?t appreciate whatever their men do for them but just expect their men to do those things for them as a matter of their being entitled to it.
It bears repeating that not ALL American women are this way, but generally most are to one degree or another whereas by far and large, most foreign ladies are not this way.
Below is a online news article quoting a British man who stated the following about his experiences with dating American women (My friends and I have also experienced what he is talking about):
One of the first questions is
always: "What car do I drive?" Martin says. "If I have the
latest BMW or drive a Chevy, does it make a difference? And they want to know
what apartment do you live in? Do you live in
Here is a final comment in the Daily Mail from Oliver Bennett, 43, remembering a dinner-date with an American woman: "It was like being with a nasty bank manager, rather than someone with whom you hope to sleep??
I also came across this online post which I have found to be an accurate description about most foreign women (which is why it totally boggles my mind when Americans try to warn me about foreign women chasing after me for money or a green card):
?They say foreign women are gold diggers, after you for the money. I have dated 2 foreign women, one for 3 years and my current fianc? for 6 years. Each one of them refused expensive gifts, my fiance made me return her first engagement ring when she found out how much it cost and had me purchase a much smaller diamond. They don't like to eat at expensive restaurants preferring to cook and they clean and help me in my business doing the hardest work to help me succeed. American women on the other hand want to compete with their girlfriends in the size of their diamonds, the type of car and the size of the house, they don't cook and want to spend your money all day long and still bitch about it.?
This post makes a excellent point
American women claim that foreigners just want to "break out of their third-world countries," but how many American women choose men solely as a way to increase their standard of living too? 99% of the time, one of the FIRST questions an American woman asks me is "What do you do for a living?" If I said I were a doctor, she'd talk to me more. If I said I were a data entry clerk, she'd disappear faster than a cockroach in daylight. If I don't have a nice house, a nice car and a nice wardrobe, I'm not going to get her phone number. Meanwhile, most foreign women ask me about WHO I AM, rather than WHAT I HAVE.
And this post I found makes a good point also
Lou Dobbs report - Women are realizing feminism has failed them
In this video - new study by the wharton school at the University of pennsylvania that shows that woman are less happier than men despite all the progress that woman have made since the birth of feminism. The study shows that the drop in happiness started in the early 70?s, right after the birth of feminism!?
The Lou dobbs video report http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXeszLlTX5E&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Experts now claim that
Feminism is one of the primary causes of marriage and family breakdown in
As our research section proves, leading experts seem to be pointing to feminism and the upswing of narcissism among American woman as the primary cause of our national divorce epidemic and family breakdown over the past 40 years.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger even goes so far as to say that:
??feminism is not only responsible for the deterioration of the family, but also for the disintegration of intimacy between men and women.?
Dr David G Myers says:
?There is evidence that women with traditional sex role attitudes are indeed less likely to divorce than those with feminists attitudes (The American Paradox,???
?? pg 45-46)
believe Dr Laura is correct when she states that feminism is at the root of the
divorce epidemic and family breakdown in
Note that the rise in the divorce rate coincided with the birth of and continued rise of feminism. Also note that the countries that rank the highest in divorce rates around the world are also countries that rank the highest in feminism. Just another simple haphazard coincidence? What would be the odds of that kind of timing? Before blowing off these facts as merely unrelated coincidences, let me leave you with some quotes directly from the American experts that I think pretty much makes it undeniable that through the double whammy of feminism and narcissism, the changes weve witnessed with American woman (as as documented by these experts - see our research section) have been the root cause of marriage and family breakdown in America over the past 40 years. This is not just an opinion. You may review these sample quotes below by leading American experts and decide for yourself what you think. Below is but a very small sampling of the documentation we provide in our main research section of this site supporting these notions. I want to emphasize that the experts we use to prove our points are not some unknown cherry picked professionals without a track record. Our research section fully documents the credentials of our experts and clearly they are considered among the top experts in the Inited States today. Most are New York times best selling authors.??
These same experts do not make any mention of American men as a group as posing similar problems in relationships
By the way, I think it?s important that I mention that these two
American experts did not mention any examples of men as a ?group? as having
their own problems causing serious issues in relationships and marriage. Im not
implying that men are the blameless sex in
When Dr Laura Schlessinger was asked why doesn?t she also write a
book called ?the proper care and feeding of wives? or some such book that
addresses dysfunctional relationship issues of men, her reply (shown below) was
based on politically correctness. Of course she couldn?t make a statement that
men are not generally at the root of relationship and marriage woes in
Dr Laura states:?
"Men are simple creatures who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration, and approval from a woman." Women have great power and influence over men, and wives in particular have tremendous power over their husbands. How they use this power essentially controls the relationship, because women are the masters of most relationships and marriages.
The bottom line is obvious. She
simply doesn?t believe men are at the root cause of the marriage and family
Foreign woman don?t pass judgement? about? your living situation
What Im about to point out here will likely be seen as very taboo by both American men and woman. But we need to put aside our Western cultural upbringing and let the science do the talking before we so blindly criticize and scowl at the idea of adult children living at home.
An adult living at home is completely immaterial to foreign woman because that is actually the norm and very typical in most non western countries. Such a thing is only stygmatized in the West. Let me repeat that,?only in the West is such a thing considered a negative thing. But as you read my research section you will see that this cultural ?stand alone? individualistic independent attitude is what gets us Americans into so much trouble ? mental health wise .
Western culture claims that living at home into adult hood is a
?loser? thing. Yet who are we (as Americans) to make such a claim when we have
such a abysmal mental health track record?? We have the highest mental Illness
(depression and anxiety)? in the entire
world!! And guess what? Lonliness is identified by many social psychologists,
(such as Jean Twenge), as one of the most significant contributors to
?A lot of people in
Perhaps, in some situations it is unhealthy such as situations where the parents are doing everything for their son or daughter such that the individual never grows as a person or never learns how to function independently. But in most cases of adult children living at home, this is not the case. Most pay some form of rent or help with the bills, and do their own cooking, laundry and cleaning. It?s just a simple case of family living together, one?s age just shouldn?t matter.
"Our growing tendency to put the self first leads to unparalleled freedom, but it also creates an enormous amount of pressure on us to stand alone. This is the downside of the focus on the self- when we are fiercely independent and self-sufficient, our disappointments loom large because we have nothing else to focus on?. (Generation Me, pg 109-110)
While Americans may not want to hear it, the science proves that this stand alone ethos is what is killing our mental health. The idea that parents must kick out their kids at 18 so they can live alone all in the name of becoming ?independent? is mostly an American thing. Most of the non western world does not follow this creed. As any Latino, Asian, or Russian or European and you will see this is not a taboo thing in most of the world. Only in the Western countries is this taboo.???
We are suffering from deppression and anxiety as a result of living in lonliness due to this stand alone/live alone independent ethos. Many people reading this will claim how happy and indpendent they are living alone and this may be true for some, but as Jean Twenge?s work shows, the science says differently for most.??????
Foreign woman do not care about? your ?career? status or income
The fact is, any man who has extensive experience dating foreign women will tell you that generally speaking, foreign women could care less about what you make or where you work (i.e. you work at Walmart or flip burgers at Burger King ? for most of them, it doesn?t matter). They are more concerned with the things that REALLY matter such as your character, and who you are as a human being, or how you treat others, than they are about anything else. As long as you are a responsible hard working man, (as in not lazy), they accept you for who you are regardless of the type of job you have. I have found that foreign women are far less judgmental in just about everything. They tend to "accept you for who you are" as long as you treat them with kindness and respect and decency. While there are some American woman who are the same way, (as previously mentioned, country and small town woman tend to be more accepting) generally speaking, by far and large, the majority of them simply arn?t. Foreign woman just want a man who will never abuse them, and who will simply treat them right . That may sound different from most of today?s Western women who are focused on money, looks, youth, and level of employment.
Also, as alluded to
earlier, most American women have rather high minimum income
expectations. For example, if you peruse dating sites that allow
women to list minimum income requirements such as at Match.com, you will notice that MOST of
the ladies profiles list minimum income requirements! I find this
disheartening and disappointing. Trust me on this difference. You don't have to
take my word for it ? join International dating sites and find out
for yourself. You simply do not find minimum income requirements on
foreign woman profiles, and most of the time you will notice that Foreign born
woman residing in the
?foreign women value material wealth less than women in the Upper Tier countries. Lower tier woman are also satisfied with less material wealth, not having been brought up with such excesses that are presented in the wealthier nations. Because they?ve never experienced the type of wining and dining Upper Tier women expect, Lower Tier women don?t expect you to roll out your wallet for expensive meals or pricey gifts. Spending a little here and there will often go a long way. In lower tier cultures, the humble women really don?t care if you take them to cheap restaurants, stores, malls, or hotels. They only care about your companionship. Much less attractive American women will often complain if you take them to a place that isn?t considered ?hip,? or ?in.? Some even demand you take them to such places?or just take them home. I know because this has happened to me on several occasions. Why take crap from demanding, egotistical Upper Tier/Western culture women when there are hundreds of thousands of beautiful, grateful young women in the Lower Tier countries who appreciate anything you do for them!?
Not ALL Western woman are as characterized below, but generally speaking, the below comparisons have quite a bit of truth to them
On Financial Setbacks:
Westernized Woman: ?So what are you going to do about it?
Foreign woman: ?Maybe I can get some overtime to help out.?
Westernized Woman: ?I just have to have that Vuitton purse/Tiffany bracelet/etc..?
Foreign woman: ?I wonder if I can find a first-class copy.?
After receiving a gift:
Westernized Woman: Says ?thanks? while instantly comparing it to the version owned by her most ostentatious friend.
Foreign woman: ?Thanks, but you really didn?t need to do this.?
Guys, if you haven't dated "real" foreign women (ps- Americanized foreign woman don?t count!), how would you know these differences in attitudes? For men who havent traveled and dated foreign woman, the only thing you have to fall back on is American cultural stereotypes about foreign woman. How accurate can those be? And herein lies the problem and why my motto is "Inspiration through education.? Most men haven't traveled and dated overseas and hence their exposure to foreign women and their attitudes are usually limited to local foreign born? "Americanized" women who have already been infected to a large degree by our culture of? feminism and materialism.
Here is an Excellent example (U tube video) describing the problem with many American ladies today?
Differences in intellectual depth, Refinement, and Culture
All men (including myself) who have
traveled and dated woman from certain particular countries such as
As an average American male who had previously never traveled or dated abroad, I would have never guessed it. In fact, I would have guessed just the opposite! It just goes to show how powerful our media machine is when it tells Americans that everything outside our nation?s borders is less, inferior, and repressed.
Ive learned that class, intellect, and sophistication quite often have very
little to do with money. One of the classiest ladies I ever met in my life was
More on this from others below:
?Another difference with
many foreign woman is their intellect.?
Compared to the US, women in Russia/Europe have a much richer and
refined intellectual life, are more cultured, higher educated,
have a broader knowledge of the world, and speak many more languages (most of
them speak between 2 and 5 languages while most American women speak only their
own). In contrast, not only do most young women in the US not value
having an intellectual life, but they lack curiosity as well, and so many can?t
even hold an intelligent conversation. While a higher percentage of older
women in the US can hold somewhat of an intelligent conversation, the typical young
American female lacks depth and can?t say much beyond ?yeah?, ?really?, and
?cool?, which is sad but true. This makes it difficult to connect with
them or find common ground with them, as there is not much substance to them to work with. In fact, I?d say the tremendous
difference between the ability of young women to hold a conversation in the
??????????? More about what Winston Wu is talking about is shown below where Social Psychologist Jean Twenge talks about typical conversations between
??????????? Today?s young American teenage woman
?A sample my space page typical of high school girls, ? I love 2 chill with my friends and parTAYYY ON THE WEEKEND!...I love whip cream LOL I love having fun and just being stupid and wild! He he I luv 2 SHoP so Maybe one of you guys can take me shopping sometime!? (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 114)
?Jennifer is a polite, soft spoken teen who is close to her
parents and active in her church. But Jennifer?s My Space page paints a much
different picture. ?Suck it slo, Ho!? reads the headline. In her bio, she warns
?all you bitches? not to bother her because she knows ?a lot if big ass [guys],
ya?ll! Another female student, only 14, uses a picture of herself in a low-cut
dress and several pictures of
?The sexual aspects of My Space have drawn lots of attention, but the aggressive and anti social attitudes often expressed there are almost as shocking ? and just as consistent with a culture of narcissism. Of course plenty of My Spacers talk about how much they love their friends, but the ?Don?t screw with me? attitude is very common. One man?s username is ?salute me bitch? and another is ?$you just do you and imam do me$) One teen girl wrote , ?If you don?t lyk me for me, then fuck you, your NOT worth my time.? (Two sentences later she adds, paradoxically, ?I am easy to get along with.?) (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 115)
?The average teen now spends a full half hour a day listening to songs that describe degrading sex. i.e. ?Any Bitch! Wait til you see my dick. Imma beat that pussy up? (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 225)?
?All these messages are consistent with a growing culture of narcissism, with its rampant materialism, aggression toward others, vanity, shallow sexuality, and rabid desire for attention and fame.? (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 114)???????
examples above are referring to high school kids, BUT, Jean Twenge specifically
points this out for a reason. It?s?
because this is so common with young girls in
Differences in cultural refinement and intellect?
CNN Article on an American foreign exchange
student?s experience in
?Dinnertime was a great example because every night of the week, whether it was a Wednesday or a Friday, it would be an experience that included a three-course meal and lively conversation, Scott said. Afterward, the family would listen to classical music. They never sat in front of the television with a box of pizza and zoned out, never,"?
"I would attend at least two dinner parties a week when I was there... and I wouldn't really (know a lot about) the guests. I wouldn't know what they did for a living, but yet I would know the best book they read recently or the most interesting film they saw or the art exhibit that they went to. They loved to discuss these areas of life but they don't overshare details about their personal lives."
"They just observed these formal protocols and manners and etiquette were very important to them. They used their best china and their best crystal on a regular basis. ... They used the nicest things that they had on a daily basis and it elevated every experience that we had."
discusses intelligence of the
?All of the data over the last 20
years show that Americans are not very bright, and not even the bright ones are
very bright?it?s not merely a question of IQ. A Marist poll released on July 4,
2011 showed that 42 percent of American adults are unaware that the
American woman often use sex as weapon
?The following are partial excerpts from Dr Laura?s book regarding how American woman use sex as a weapon which is mostly unheard of with woman in other cultures of the world,?. ?cut him off from sex because they?re annoyed about something? (Doctor Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg xiv) and she also says? ?the use of sex to punish or control (You didn't do what I wanted)?. ??Dr Laura further states that woman have a sense of hostility towards men regarding the issue of sex. She states:
?It is astonishing to which female society denigrates a man?s sex drive, reducing him to merely a rutting animal with no deeper context. Male sexuality is another subject that seems to elicit hostility in many woman. A stay at home mother, Jessica belongs to a number of groups, and the talk about sex is always anti male. The majority of the woman are just tired and see their husbands as selfish for ?wanting some?. (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 126-134)?
One of Dr Laura's listeners wrote something that I think is very common with American woman?s attitudes regarding sex that is absent with most foreign woman :
"before I was married I used sex to get what I wanted. Now I have what I've always wanted, I view sex as useless. I now realize I have taken him for granted and pushed aside his emotional and psychological needs"
Foreign woman generally prefer men much older than themselves
Another issue worth mentioning that our older readers who are 38 and older need to pay strong attention to is the age sensitivity that most American women have.? For example, I think we can all pretty much agree that most of the time, (though not always of course, but usually), American women 18 to 27 yrs old will generally not date a man in his 40's or above. For clear cut evidence of this age sensitivity, just visit American dating sites such as Match.com. Looking at American women profiles on dating sites, one can clearly see that these ladies?s age preferences typically will only flex 4-5 years higher than themselves when it comes to dating older men. I have a close friend who is 43 and he is constantly running into this brick wall with younger American women. Whenever he manages to have a younger woman interested in him, they quickly lose interest as soon as they discover his age. It's a constant problem for him. Compare this with foreign ladies profiles who usually advertise that they want men 10-20 years older. You older guys need to pay special attention to this difference, it's worth repeating ? most foreign women actually WANT, PREFER, and DESIRE much older men! It?s 100% TRUE! The reason for this is because the woman over there are hard wired differently than American women who are mainly into youth, sex appeal, flash, and looks. Foreign women on the other hand are into family, faith, and security. Because of this diffference, foreign woman prefer men who are more "mature" and "settled" (hence much OLDER ). They want a man with enough maturity who can handle marriage and who is ready for marriage and less likely to still be chasing skirts or sewing their oats.. Such ?settle down? traits are not important to American woman until they reach much older ages (such as upper 20?s to mid 30?s) when they start thinking more serioulsy about marriage. I?m only pointing this out so that older men who may be reading this will realize that while they may be "over the hill" and "undesirable" to sexy young American women, they are a prime catch in the eyes of young foreign woman.
While we are on this subject, I want to bring up a subject that I notice many older American men are very concerned about. And that is that many men believe that a younger woman is not mature enough for a meaningful relationship. My advice is to not make the mistake of believing that a Foreign girl is as immature as her American/Western counterparts. The majority of girls in many foreign countries have been working since their mid-teens, not for the purpose of buying the latest fashions, but to contribute to their immediate family's total income. As a result, you will find that the majority of these girls are very responsible for their age. With responsibility comes maturity. You will be pleasantly surprised at a foreign girl's level of thoughtfulness, regardless of her age.
See this U tube clip from a man who lives in the Philipipines talking about this age issue
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOar7BRBAaM&feature=youtube_gdata_player? (see 6:25 to 9:44)
Lastly, it is truly strange how American culture is so? prude about age differences. Only in the Anglo-world are age differences (i.e. 10-30 yrs) considered inappropriate. To me, it is clearly evident that Anglo culture has a hidden and latent pedophiliac tendency that people are afraid to admit. Americans see pedophelia where it doesn't exist. So, who's the pervert: the Anglo nations that freak out about such a relationship and that it's "wrong", or the nations where it's happened for thousands of years successfully, and such a thing is considered natural and healthy? The West has a twisted and prudish view of sex and relationships that most cultures do not have.
Foreign woman are marriage minded at much younger ages
I want to take a moment to share a real life personal story relating to this subject. I once met an American girl for a coffee date at Starbucks. During our talk, I mentioned to her that I am at the stage of my life where I am ready for marriage and familyI was 43 yrs old at the time and she was 36. Her reply was ?Steve, don?t take this in a negative way, but just a bit of helpful advice, I would?nt mention that with woman you meet?. So, there you have it. I really wasn?t too surprised to hear this because Ive always known that many American woman think this way. (Note- I didn?t say I wanted to marry ?her? for god?s sake! LOL) It?s quite sad that American woman see men who are seeking something as honorable as marriage as being desperate or creepy or undesirable. I think it just goes back to the dysfunctionality of many American woman who seem to be mainly attracted to the unavailable bad boy/jerk types while finding the normal descent good guys as undesirable. Our research section of this site documents Dr Laura Schlessinger talking about this ?bad boy? dysfunctionality syndrome of American woman. Foreign woman on the other hand , aboslutley LOVE to hear such a thing from a man! Fact is, the average foreign woman has no interest in the ?player? or ?bad boy? types. They will kick that type of man to the curb! This is a reflection of how healthy foreign womens? values are and how well adjusted their moral compass is. They simply want nothing to do with the jerk types. But many American woman seem drawn to the bad boy/jerk types like a moth to a flame. It?s amazing when you experience this about foreign woman. The mindset of foreign woman in this regard is just so completely opposite of most American woman!????
Typical story of what men experience on internet dating sites
Below are posts I found on the inerrnet that brings home the point so well
I think most of us will
admit there's a lot of wonderful desirable western women but the best are
already involved or married and the remaining few, without excessive baggage
and bad attitudes are in high demand. Also, I usually took second place behind
their pet, girl friends, career and, finances.
The estimated rate is about 20 men per woman on this site. I know of a woman who was attractive and took her pic down she was so overwhelmed with emails it freaked her out. This place is NOT reality. Because soooo many average women receive sooo many emails,
a '6' thinks she's an '8'. Because soooo many guys receive NO emails ( I've received ONE polite response to 20 sent emails ) a guy who's an 8 in the real world thinks he's a 6 in here. Hence I see guys who are good looking ( not myself) who are flipping out because they're not receiving any responses.
Let's examine an example of
a personal ad from a typical Kana woman 50 years old who has kept herself in
reasonable shape and is still attractive.
More than likely her younger beauty allowed her to marry well and she has reaped the financial rewards of her prior marriage.
Attractive man between 45 and 55 with a great smile who loves to dance.
Must be financially secure and love to travel.
Must love pets and sports.
Must reside within a one hundred mile radius.
Must be a Protestant
Even if I met half of her demands (which I don't) I'm turned off by her spoiled and demanding attitude. Regardless, I answer her ad telling her about me as I really am with my best picture. Some respond with half hearted emails between their weekend excursions and trips abroad.
It doesn't take me long to realize that I'm fighting a really tough battle for her affections. It's obvious I'm not lighting her fire.
I refuse to settle for anymore half hearted relationships and even though I know there are some very nice women who are unattractive, I just can't get into the spirit of it.
Luckily, I find by chance an ad from a lovely foreign lady who issues little or no demands and who is a simple person like myself. She's only seeking love and marriage with a kind and decent man.
When I answer her ad she's totally enthusiastic and makes me feel like I'm the greatest guy in the world.
She has no little or no apparent animosity towards men at all.
She's totally genuine.?
Look at ANY publication containing "personals" ads. The women want someone who looks a certain way, and who has certain "social skills" such as dancing or clever conversation, someone who is interesting and exciting and seductive. Now go to my Web page (www.filipina.com) and look at what the girls say they want. It?s all pretty simple, really. Over and over they state that they are happy to settledown FOREVER with a MAN who is willing to try to hold down a steady job and be a loving and understanding husband and father. This will get you NOWHERE with an American girl!
Internet dating does not work for men due to woman having the upper hand. But the tables are turned with international dating sites?
One thing that has been totally consistent throughout my life is
the abysmal results Ive had with American internet dating sites. Despite being
a decent looking man, I?ve never had any success with internet dating
other than having the ?undesireables? try to hit me up. LOL. The only women
that ever messaged me were always overweight and often had kids in tow. As far
as outbound messaging went, my experience is pretty much in line with what most
men experience with internet dating in
?Well i just joint with this website but i was suprise coz i got almost 400 message of guys from this website thats crazy !!!! but i cant read all thats messages thats too much for me.but sound good.I'm Asian/france woman,i live in bay area.california,yes, i'm hot and sexy Asian woman?
So ya see, this causes them to be super picky, makes them develop spoiled attitudes, and get big heads. This just makes things that much harder for the men. In addition, attractive ladies don't have to use internet dating to find a mate because they have so many men chasing after them in the real world. (See proof of this in our Research Section). Setting this problem aside, there are other drawbacks at hand. One of our fan mails put it best when he said:
?? ??I tried a lot of the dating websites looking for a eligible local woman but have gotten so disgusted with most of their requirements & attitudes that I've decided to abandon that route?.
Every man I?ve talked to
has told me that this is their experience also. Internet dating in
Simply put, on American dating sites, American women have all the choices, while on international dating sites, the tables are completely reversed and the men have all the choices! The bottom line is that dating success is all about LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!
Why American men have such an incredible advantage with international dating??
needs to understand that in the overseas dating scene, there are many
things that work in men's favor. For starters, as a general
rule, single woman far outnumber single men. This is proven as fact by stats
??The one thing that always gets me, is
that I?ve never heard a woman in the
the fact that single women (of dating age)outnumber single men in most of Latin
American, Europe, former Soviet republics, and Asia (Asia -except India and
china where you have a lot of female infanticide) foreign women seem to truly
"NEED" men. This is
the biggest difference of all. Foreign woman put off a vibe that shows they are
receptive to being approached. This is a far cry from
The Bar scene in
On the topic of bars and
nightclubs, one post I found on the net describes the bar scene in
?What is a bar/club scene in
guys", because supposedly most of the guys around them are creepy anyways (never heard such word from a Ukrainian girl in MY LIFE!) So, the "bar
scene" is complete crap only in
?Another person posted:
??Bars and clubs? Wow...those women are just falling down drunk, grinding on themselves...etc. You know, shitty as they were even in the 90s, clubs
used to be a place to meet women; now the women just go there to get shitfaced. I almost never see men and women at clubs interracting unless they were already in a group together.?
Another post said:
Anglo societies are
repressed and anti-social. I have never understood the "bar scene"
where women just go to hang out with their friends and are scared shitless if a
guy approaches them. I assume women go to bars and clubs to meet men.
Apparently a lot of them don't! So how in God's name are men supposed to meet
women in the
Another post said:
?Here in the states, girls get in for free, they get preferential treatment, the girls dance with other girls and many girls. When they want to feel better about themselves, they go to night clubs with the plan in mind to harshly shoot down guys who ask them out. They say they get a huge ego boost out of it. Also, the girls dress like PROSTITUTES, but yet, they get mad when you look at them too long, or pay them too much attention. Unbelievable! Their breast are hanging out, all their legs are showing, and you can even see their sexy painted red toes through their clear high heel sandals, but yet, they have the nerve to say that any guy looking at them too long is a "weirdo". And watch out for the bouncers too, they are DUMB broke former jocks who will always take the side of the female.?
Another post said:
??When girls are in groups and you talk to them, they laugh and go away talking among themselves saying "look at that needy creepy guy". When you
?? are in the bar or a club, girls are almost always in groups and they almost never talk to you.? ?
Based on what I observe about American culture, most Americans seem to rely (to a significant degree) on bars and clubs as the main method to meet members of the opposite sex. But overseas, bars and clubs are not the main method that people use to meet people. One gentleman describes it accurately when he posted as follows:
?It's interesting to hear
guys (like Winston WU of happier abroad.com) say that in foreign countries they
were able to meet women on buses, trains, shopping
malls and in stores. Now meeting women this way is not possible in
describes what we encounter in
?Starbucks I thought would be a better place to meet woman...at least the girls would be sober, right? But you run into the same brick wall barrier you do everywhere else. The women don't acknowledge you, much less talk to you. Starbucks is a good example of the social isolation that Winston talks about in his articles. People sit right down next to you without saying a word or even looking your way.?
Excellent U tube video on why the American bar and club scene is a waste of time for men:
(In this video, this gentlemen discusses how in the American club/bar scene is a waste of time for men)
parties signify the new low morals and standards of many woman in
?I tend to think that white women the world
over are opting for the ?Girls Gone Wild Experience?. Low morals, low
thoughts, and low expectations.
Thanks that we have women such as in the
(Source - Anonymous internet comment)
While I do not think
that the comment above applies to ALL Western woman, (of course not), I
do firmly believe there is certainly a grain of truth to it based on the trends
that we are seeing with more and more Western woman of today. Think about
it for a second. How common is it today to see bachelorette parties of woman
with dildos and woman carrying around a penis and a wedding vail with condoms
in it? This is 100% unheard of in most other cultures and used to be unheard of
Obvioulsy, not ALL American woman behave these ways as shown in this sample video, but FAR TOO MANY DO! Foreign woman do not do this!!!!! They are more conservative and classy.
MYTH ? Foreign woman just want a green card and your money
BBC News article explains the TRUTH
behind WHY foreign woman from many parts of the world seek Western
husbands. The gender imbalances exist in most of
Latvian man shortage leaves women lost for love
By Damien McGuinness BBC News,
??????????? ????????? Women outnumber men by 8% in
In the video below, the news organization ?Russia Today?
also reports on the severe man shortage in much of
Besides the news reports above, the next best explanation as to why foreign woman like American or foreign husbands can be found in Mark Davis?s ebook at European Dream connections. Below Mark talks about the first time he discovered the global dating secret while he was on a dinner date with a Brazilian Beauty. She revealed to him the dating secret of why American men are considered Gold in many non industrialized countries of the world and it has absolutley nothing to do with money or green cards.
Mark Edward Davis ? Why foreign woman want American men.
?She told me that her story was
not uncommon. She said, "It is very difficult for women here to find a
good man. We know that men can't stay with just one woman ? that?s just not
heard women talk about the attitudes of men. They say, "If I'm sick, my
boyfriend will just say, 'call me when you're better' and I better not call him
until I am. That's just the way it is." Another woman told me that women
always have to stay beautiful or their man will just move on. You will rarely
ever see an overweight woman in these parts of the world. They have a saying
among women, "A woman must always be beautiful; a man only has to be
better looking than a monkey." Do you think you'll ever hear those words
spoken in the
?Another painful fallout from masculinity gone wrong is domestic abuse. The overblown male machismo culture of domination and physical abuse is considered common ? and rarely punished.?
?Take your money? They aren't interested in your money ? they want your heart. We just covered this, but I'll say it again: why would they want to live outside of their hometown? They wouldn't if they could find love there.?
?Apparently, many of these men
seem to find little motivation to bring their paychecks home ? even when they
have a monogamous relationship and children. The common story seems to be that
the women work so the family has money.What is the consequence for this
lifestyle? According to CIA world statistics, the average life expectancy for
men is 59 in
?WESTERN MEN - At first glance, those men make us look like heroes by contrast. American men want to be connected with their families. We participate in our wives pregnancies and delivery. We change diapers and teach our kids to play baseball. We take our wives on dates and plan our vacations as family events. We want to be faithful to our wives, because that is what good husbands do. To have an affair also means we failed in our marriages somehow. We desire closeness and intimacy with our women. These are good and noble aspirations. Our families come first and we bring home our entire paychecks to support our family. We don?t abuse our spouses or children. And we lavish upon them the highest standard of living in the modern age.?
?It is very competitive for one of these women to find a good man. Therefore, when they do have a man in their lives, they will focus on pleasing him ? and their pleasure is in making him happy. In this competitive environment they often become skilled in seduction and sensuality within the relationship. They work hard to keep him focused on her so he has no reason to look around. I still find it cute that my gorgeous younger wife watches out for other women who might be looking at me!?
?Don?t underestimate these women. The only thing missing from their lives, as they see it, is romantic attention. Otherwise, they are generally satisfied with their lives. They don?t need you to save them and take them away from a horrible life of poverty. That is not the way they view their world and would be insulted if you were to suggest such a thing.?
American men need to realize is that contrary to American cultural beliefs
and stereotypes, most foreign women are not desperate to leave their
country. Yes, foreigners (mainly men) do come to
that everyone wants to come to the
the risk factor, there are good and bad foreign women in international dating
just as there are good and bad woman in the
Internet Post I found that puts it best!
?The media almost
always shows other countries as backward shitholes whose inhabitants' only
dream is to go to the
Fact is that many of these foreign women are educated, cultured, and have professional careers. Many live in beautiful countries, eat well, and are healthy. They don?t want your stupid green card. So you ask, why would a Foreign lady want an American man? Well, the answer to this is multi faceted. For starters, Asian and Latin cultures teach men that infidelity is a normal part of manhood, and that it is an unwritten right in these cultures for men to have affairs. In addition, the male/female gender imbalances greatly favor the men, so the men have the upper hand and can get away with having mistresses and girlfriends on the side. One of the most important gifts you can offer a woman is your fidelity - something that is not so common in a foreign lady?s country. American men have a solid reputation around the world as being faithful and as good husbands. THAT is why they like us, not because of money or green cards.
Most foreign woman simply dream of having a good husband and family. Due to a severe man shortage in many of these countries, there are millions of women who simply do not have a chance at finding husbands with whom they can raise a family with. This is the biggest challenge many foreign ladies face because of the male/female ratio working against them in their home countries. Put yourself in their position for a second and think about what you would do. It?s not an easy decision for most foreign women to consider living in a strange country. They are far more close and connected to their families than we are. Since many of them do not want to live in another country, a man would need to be pretty special in their eyes for them to even consider moving.
On top of that, the quality
of men available in their own countries often leaves little to be
desired. Many men in these ladies' countries are womanizers and
regularly cheat on their wives and girlfriends. Just ask any foreign woman from
USCIS Report to Congress
?Why do foreign women want American husbands? Many sources suggest that these women are searching for a "better life" in terms of socio-economic factors--they do, for the most part, come from places in which jobs and educational opportunities for women are scarce and wages are low. However, when the women themselves are asked this question, the answer generally indicates an attraction to American men (they look like movie stars) and an aversion to native men. Americans, they say, make good husbands while Filipino (Thai/Indonesian/Russian/etc.) men do not. Americans are thought to be faithful to their wives, while the native men are cruel and run around with other women. True or not, this is the perception.?
(Link has since expired - http://www.uscis.gov/files/article/MobRept_AppendixA.pdf)?
?In addition, their local men are
often boozing it up (i.e. especially in
See this ese two U tube videos that explain why foreign woman seek Foreign Husbands
Winston Wu of happier abroad has the following to say about debunking this false belief that is so ingrained in American culture:
1) Most of the Filipinas I?ve met or dated here prefer that their boyfriend or husband stay with them in THEIR country. After all, family is everything to them,?
??? and so they? prefer to remain close to their immediate and extended family. But if their lover insists, they will try to go overseas. That right there
??? DEBUNKS this common misconception.
Besides, it is an American myth that most people in other countries want to
come to the
??? know that is not so.
2) Now, think about this. If it were all about money or a green card, then why aren?t poor foreign men seeking out American women the way that poor foreign
?? women are? And why aren?t there websites or matchmaking agencies out there for foreign men seeking American women? It?s because there isn?t a market??
?? for it. Very few foreign men would want an
American woman, even to get into the
? well as their selfish attitude is a huge turn off to foreign men. Also, ask yourself this. If poor foreign women just want money, then what do American women
? want? A dazzling personality and kind heart? Not! They not only want money, but they want it all, perfection in every category! Some guys see everything
? in terms of money and economics. In reality, human beings are very complex, and don?t fit into overly simplistic pet theories like ?She just wants you for??
? money?. So these one shot labels put together by shallow know-it-all people to try to explain other people just don?t hold. Perhaps these guys are ?all
? about money? themselves, so they can?t help but assume that everyone else is too.
Another quote from Mark Davis of European connections as to why Foreign woman do not want to leave their country but will only do so for love
?They have lives that are normal to them there. They probably have four generations of family in their hometown. They have friends that they connect with. They may enjoy dancing and spending time with peers in their hometown. They may be? working on a university degree program and leaving would cause problems. So what is their motivation to connect with a foreign man and even consider leaving their homes? I'll say it again and again. They are starved for romance and genuine attention. Here is a universal truth of all women ? foreign or domestic: If a woman falls deeply in love with the man of her dreams she?ll do anything to make that dream come true ? including leaving home and country. Another motivation may be that they are also tired of having to be the only income provider. They would gladly live a happy and full life with a good man from their home town if they could find him.
Again, they define a good man as someone who :
1)pays attention to them
2)provides romantic attention;
3)agrees to bring his paycheck home to contribute to the family;
?4)who won?t cheat on them;
?5)doesn?t get drunk on a regular basis;
?6)who would not harm them.?
*These qualities 1-6 above are not commonly found in men of many non industrialized countries. This is the key to understanding their motivations for American men?
While it is true that many foreigners
want to come to
Why American men and Foreign woman are a match made in heaven
Decent and well-off American men are
generally viewed as the "cream of the crop" - highly coveted and desirable....
These gentlemen enjoy a great reputation among foreign ladies who perceive them
to be respectful, nurturing, responsible, well-educated and financially secure.
In addition, these women believe that American men make great husbands,
especially in contrast to native men, who are often disrespectful, abusive and
The problem in this country is that the "best in the world" are often paired up with the "worst in the world".... a complete mismatch. It's like a highschool Prom King dating an ugly, domineering and boorish girl. It's very unlikely that this type of relationship will work out. Sadly, this seems to be the case, as the marriages "made in
A growing number of affluent American men are going overseas to embrace loverly, young foreign brides. A nearly fourfold increase in foreign women entering the
Mark Davis of European Dream Connections
?That?s why I truly believe that there
appears to be a perfect ? and natural fit ? between the good masculine men in
Why I like Filipinas the best - as lovers, playmates, and best friends
An absolute must read!! By Winston Wu of Happier Abroad :? http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page94.htm
Some great internet quotes that sum up the uniqueness of the Filipinas
?The typical filipina understands what it is like to be hungry and to do without. She knows how to adapt and to adjust. She has a perspective that is not held by western cultures. She is much less materialistic and more tolerant and more patient. She has much better manners then women from most other cultures. She understands the value of family and community. She appreciates the small things in life and she understands people. She understands the roles that men and women should play in a marriage. She has extraordinary interpersonal skills and communicates well - even though she is usually very shy and reserved in public. And she has a high level of morality, honesty and integrity. These characteristic are all a product of her environment and her culture and they make her very attractive to most men.?
could write an essay over one hundred pages long about the benefits of having a
Filipina girlfriend. Most men appeciate the care, the devotion to family, as
well as general sexiness of Filipinas as the main reasons for choosing one.
Also, many of them have been severely hurt from a previous relationship with a
Westernized lady, and are determined to find someone who will never hurt them
For me, the best thing about having a Filipina girlfriend is that I am able to show love, care, and affection and be accepted and loved in return. Growing up, I was constantly told that I need to "man up" and "be more aggressive." In Western culture, men are taught to get what they want by fighting for it. You need to stomp on someone else's head so they won't stomp on your head. I was told that I was not aggressive enough, and that I needed to be a jerk to women. Men told me that I needed to treat my girlfriend like she was a dog and make her beg for a treat. I needed to be the prize.
For a while I actually (regretably) believed that crap. But I quickly realized the nonsense for what it was. My heart changed, and then I met Mahal. I know I can be sweet and caring, and not have to worry about her treating me like a doormat. Westernized women often think that being nice means being weak. In Filipina culture, being nice is returned with kindness, and perhaps a bit of sex too.
When I am with Mahal, I feel like I can be myself. I don't have to walk around all "macho" (whatever that is supposed to mean). I can share my weaknesses, and we can laugh at each other in a supporting way. I have finally realized that it really isn't me that is wrong; for so long I had been with mentally ill people who viewed prosocial people as a weakness. You can't blame a Palm Tree for not growing in
For the first time in my life, I have felt unconditional love and acceptance being with Mahal.
To be with someone who values me so much brings out the best in me. I want to be the best lover, the best husband, the best father, and the best servant in her church. I don't have to fear that my efforts will be replied with insult. I can serve her, cuddle her, listen to her, and support her, and not fear rejection. She is the best lady, so I want to be the best lover I possibly can be for her.
I wish all men still looking for their Filipina love lots of good luck !!
USCIS study says men who go abroad for love and marriage are INTELLIGENT, CONSERVATIVE, and HIGHLY EDUCATED
The USCIS report said the following:
?David Jedlicka (1988, cited in Glodava and Onizuka, 1994) surveyed 607 American men seeking mail-order brides and received 206 responses. He found that the men were generally white (94 percent); highly educated (50 percent with two or more years of college, 6 percent with M.D.'s or Ph.D.'s, only five did not complete high school); politically and ideologically conservative; and generally economically and professionally successful (64 percent earned more than $20,000 a year; 42 were in professional or managerial positions). Their median age was 37.?
So, not a bad crowd to be associated with huh? Perhaps it would only make sense that the more educated/intelligent of us are the ones who would be more likely to discover what other parts of the world have to offer. Well, hopefully with more sites like ours spreading the word, more and more of us average Joes can discover this dating secret too.?
?Studies show American woman initiate divorce almost 70% of the time ? reasons not due to abuse!
?Woman in lower tier countries believe in the idea that marriage is for life. When problems do arise, as happens in all relationships, unlike the Upper Tier countries where woman say ?Divorce him, girl?get your half?, the loyal, loving Lower Tier women will do anything to keep their families united.? (www.globaldatingrevolution.com). This is the general difference between American and most Non Western cultures regarding marriage/family values.
According to a USCIS
report to congress conducted by Robert
J. Scholes, PhD with the assistance of
?It is interesting to note that, based largely on data provided by the agencies themselves (along with the Commission on Filipinos Overseas report cited above), marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.? (Link has since expired - http://www.uscis.gov/files/article/MobRept_AppendixA.pdf)?
It is a well documented
fact that the divorce rate in
As documented in our Research Section , studies show that most of the time when women divorce, it's not due to abusive behaviors by their husbands as many people would presume. One study quotes these women as saying, "I've outgrown him" or "I don?t need him". (See study http://www.livestrong.com/article/146100-why-do-women-initiate-divorce/ ). Given how feminism has taught American women to not need men, this shouldn?t be surprising. Our American culture gives us the message that if you don't like something about who you are dating, instead of making an effort to work on it, just dump them as they are easily replaceable. And that casual attitude carries through into marriage also. Women in particular are told by our culture that they must fulfill themselves completely, and if a man gets in the way of that (or if they even THINK he gets in the way) he should be dumped, regardless of the status of the relationship, regardless of the children. On a personal note, I have a friend who just talked to his x girlfriend the other day. She is now married with two kids. She was telling him that she no longer has sexual attraction to her husband and isnt happy with her marriage. As usually is the case with so many American woman, her story bears out that it?s not because of anything he did bad to her such as drinking or being abusive. She just suddenly decided she doesn?t love him anymore cause she?s lost that lovin feelin. In other words, the only thing that matters is her own self fulfillment. When my friend suggested marriage counseling to her, she became quite irritated at him and said ?David, look, my family just wants me to be happy!?. So ya see, with so many American woman, (disclosure ?not all, but generally speaking) its all about the self and getting ones own needs met. Forget about one?s vows and commitment to the institution of marriage. Forget about the idea that there are some things greater than the self. Forget about trying to make an effort to make the marriage work. With too many American woman, such ideals go by the wayside.
On the other hand, foreign woman have a commitment to marriage that most western women simply do not have. Marry a foreign woman and there's a much greater chance that she'll actually take her wedding vows seriously . For one thing , her culture and her family don't take the concept of divorce lightly. Secondly, they will often stay in a marriage, even if they feel it is less than ideal. They do so for the benefit of the family and due to their belief in the institution of marriage itself. This requires an emotional and spiritual maturity that many (not all) American woman simply don?t have anymore. (You have to look way back to the 50?s for those kind of values).
It seems that everyone seems to have heard stories
about foreign women leaving a man after getting her green card. While this
is sometimes true, (just like sometimes planes crash yet statistically remain
the safest form of transportation) when one actually looks past the
ignorant stereotypes and looks at the statistical facts, one
sees that international marriages have about 1/3 the divorce
rate of American marriages! When most people hear of this, they are
often shocked and find it hard to believe. This disbelief is
understandable as most of us underestimate the influential power of the
American media machine that feeds us our cultural stereotypes such as ?foreign
woman are desperate and they?ll do anything to come to
I?ll take a moment to share a real life story on this
subject. My office mate and I were having a discussion about this topic and one
of our co workers overheard us and put his 2 cents into the conversation. This
co worker was from
There is a old fable that describes my point
on this subject the best (my point about the factual statistic that American
woman initiate divorce almost 70% of the time). It?s called the? The Scorpion and the Frog . It
is a fable about a
asking a frog to
carry him across a river. The frog is afraid of being stung during the trip,
but the scorpion argues that if it stung the frog, the scorpion himself
would drown too. Same concept as an american woman who might give lip service
to the claim that she doesn?t believe in divorce and that divorce would hurt
her too (Yet why do all studies out there show that American woman
initiate divorce 70% of the time?)?? The
frog agrees and begins carrying the scorpion, but midway across the river the
scorpion stings the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion
why he did it, the scorpion responds ?it?s my nature?. This fable is used to
illustrate the that the behaviour of some creatures is irrepressible. And hence
the way that
feminism has affected American woman is irrepressible. This story
relates to the fact that no matter how much you think your American woman is
not the type who is easy to divorce, (after all, we all marry someone who we
think could never do such a thing to us right?) one has to recognize the
culture she comes from. (
And if you are unfortunate to fall into that minority of 20% who end up divorced after marrying a foreign lady, you will likely find that they do not typically behave vindictfully or seek revenge. Many don?t even pursue court action to force alimony or child support. When it comes to Alimony, they will often say? ?I don?t need his money?. I have come across many stories of foreign woman with the following attitude in seperation or divorce situations?..?Im not going to ask him for one dollar, that?s the way Im going to help him realize what kind of special person he had lost?.? What a DIFFERENCE in attitude!! I find such a non selfish attitude refreshing. The foreign woman?s psyche is just so totally different than the American woman?s psyche. Ive dated foreign ladies all my life and countless times Ive witnessed that they really don?t like to pursue legal actions through the courts which I really have always respected and admired about them. Instead, as long as the father of their child is contributing and sincerely making an effort, they allow him to contribute whatever? he can whenever he can. There?s no vindictfulness in trying to ?stick it? to him, which in American divorces, is more common than not. Although Ill be the first to say that a woman should be able to pursue legal action if the X husband is a total flake and not even trying to own up to his responsibilities. Sometimes legal action is absolutely necessary. But my point is that foreign woman are understanding as long as the guy is genuinley trying to pay and is making an effort. Even then, when the guy is a total flake, they still don?t take legal action because their sense of ?I don?t need his money? is so pervasive with them. Its just a different mindset.
A post at plentyoffish.com dating site message board
Funny thing is, I look at friends on F@cebook and a lot of buds who are married to the domestic variety of women don't look all that happy while the ones with Latin and Asian wives have a huge smile or grin on their face. ??I think a lot of us men want women who will cooperate (work together) instead of compete with us. I personally find foreign women to be quite feminine. I wish I could say the same for American women in general, but I can't, at least not the ones playing the dating game. (http://forums.plentyoffish.com/8048721datingPostpage6.aspx)
Differences between American and Foreign woman on Alimony and child support
If you are unfortunate to fall into that minority of 20% who end up divorced after marrying a foreign lady, you will likely find that they do not typically behave vindictfully or seek revenge. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with any woman expecting child support or alimony. However, what is really interesting is how? common it is for foreign woman to not pursue court action to force alimony or child support. Anyone who has been around Asian or Latin woman can attest to this observation. When it comes to Alimony, they will often say? ?I don?t need his money?. Many will say ?Im not going to ask him for one dollar, that?s the way Im going to help him realize what kind of special person he had lost?.? What a DIFFERENCE in attitude!! I find such an attitude refreshing. The foreign woman?s psyche is just so totally different than the American woman?s psyche. Ive dated foreign ladies all my life and countless times Ive witnessed that they really don?t like to pursue legal actions through the courts which I really have always respected and admired about them. As long as the father of their child is contributing and sincerely making an effort, they allow him to contribute whatever he can whenever he can. There?s no vindictfulness of trying to ?stick it? to him, which in American divorces, is more common than not. I find it very common to see a spiteful and vindictful attitude by American woman towards their X husbands, and even worse, this often includes the woman trying to prevent her x husband from seeing his children even when he is paying his child support!
Again, I?ll be the first to say that a woman should be able to pursue legal action if the X husband is a total flake and not even trying to own up to his responsibilities. Sometimes legal action is absolutely necessary. But my point is that foreign woman are understanding as long as the guy is genuinley trying to pay and is making an effort. Even then, when the guy is a total flake, they still don?t take legal action because their sense of ?I don?t need his money? is so pervasive with them. Its just a different mindset.
To prove this isnt just my own personal opinion, see this quote below (including the link as proof) by an Asian American woman posting at plentyoffish.com dating site message board about this mentality. If there was no truth to what I am saying, then I would not have been able to find such a real life post. There is absolute TRUTH to this.??
??And let me tell this to you if we no longer love a man we tell it to his face, we are that gutsy and we can support our self and our children,we don't need his spouse or child support "for he is dead".. This is the mentality of An Asian women whom you American women thinks are submissive? http://forums.plentyoffish.com/8048721datingPostpage6.aspx
The EXPLODING trend of men going abroad for love and marriage ?Stats show it?s doubling every 8-10 years
The fact that leading
American researchers attest to all this should be a big wake up call to
Americans, both men and
women. The material presented here along with supporting expert opinions explains
the reason for the sharp uptick in the number of American men going overseas
for love and marriage. Just like the smart money is exiting the country right
now towards foreign investments, the smart ?nice guys? are going abroad for foreign
between foreign women and American men is at an all time high, and growing each
year. More and more men are
saying "enough is enough", and realizing that they have OTHER
OPTIONS, realistically BETTER options! In fact, the
However, by no means are we suggesting that ALL foreign women are perfect and that you are guaranteed marital bliss if you marry a foreign woman. Nor are we saying that ALL American woman are bad in relationships and marriage. Of course not. There are good and bad people in every culture wherever you go. We are simply discussing this matter in terms of generalities and not in absolutes.
Marriage in US hits an all time historical low
Interesting enough, the only demographic that is bucking this
trend of record low marriages in the
Your lack of dating success is not your fault. Its due to Location Location Location!!
lesson in all of this ?.. don?t let anyone tell you that your lack of success
in the American dating scene is your fault or that YOU need to work on
yourself. Generally speaking, the problem with a man?s lack of dating success
?We opt for Women Overseas because most women would accept you for who you are, not what you do. I have YET to be asked what I did for a job by any Foreign Women. If so, its hidden under "What are you doing?" or "Where are you right now?". I'd say I'm on work and that's as FAR AS IT WENT.??
You will find that foreign woman are excited about being with a man; they love men for who they are, especially American men, who (typically) are more romantic? than their own. This simple fact is what myself and most men who have travelled and dated abroad have discovered. The fact is, your dating environment matters more then anything else when it comes to success with women. PERIOD! If you lack success in finding what you are looking for, its because of your LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!!! One comment I have heard said by many men who found a foreign wife is:
?Had I not gone online and found her, there is little doubt in my mind that I would still be single and lonely.?
believe this statement is very true for many single American men in their mid
30?s on up. The dating dynamics for men of older age in
A personal note about my own transformational experience as a result of traveling and dating abroad
I wish to end this introduction by making a comparison that best describes the impact of discovering foreign woman and foreign cultures has had on me on a personal level. I?ll explain this comparison shortly but first let me say a few things. First of all, when seeing the family values and character of most foreign cultures, it really does become quite easy to understand why foreign woman turn out to be so genuine, authentic, mature, down to earth, natural, and psychologically well adjusted. My experience traveling abroad and dating foreign woman was nothing short of a spiritual type of awakening , a form of intellectual enlightenment for me.
As many of you may have already seen, our research section of this site is full of quotes and research from American experts who have shown us how souless and plastic American culture has become. Whether we wish to admit it or not,we are a miserable and depressed lot of people mostly focused on materialism and the buying of ?things? for happiness.? Of course many of you reading this will be shocked to hear of such an opinion and think I am just being negative. But the professionals and their research studies clearly state this as fact. (See our research section for proof!).
As Jean Twenge says ?A
fish doesn?t know its in water?.? She says this in her book to describe the
fact that most Americans don?t recognize that this has happened to our culture.
99% of us have never experienced cultures outside of
He further states:
?Never has a culture experienced such physical comfort combined with such psychological misery. These are the best of times materially, but not the best of times for the human spirit.?
?He further states:
? ?Americans excel at making a living but often fail at making a life ?.
?In addition,? social psychologists John DeGraaf, David Wann, and Thomas Naylor, write in their book ?Affluenza? the following:
?Unfortunately, our industrial life is dominated by the materialistic spirit of production [affluenza], giving little attention to the development of the human body, the human mind, or the spirit of life? and they also state? The daily bombardment of advertising images leaves us forever dissatisfied with our own appearance and that of our real life partners. To be lovable and acceptable is to have the right image. Authenticity be dammed.?
This is spot on!! American culture lacks authenticy. We are a plastic society mostly focused on flash, image and material things. There is little substance to American life.
And lastly they state:
?When mother Theresa came to the
So, getting back to the comparison I mentioned earlier, ?the comparison I speak of is with the movie ?Dances with Wolves?. Some may wonder how in the world can that movie relate to my experience of discovering foreign woman and foreign cultures? Well, the movie Dances with Wolves fits my scenario perfectly. It is? about a lieutenant in the US ARMY who chooses to accept a post located at the edge of civilization so he can see the unsettled West before it dissapears.? In doing so , he unexpectedly finds himself assimilating into the culture of the Sioux Indians who were at the time considered as inferior people. (This is not unlike today where Americans tend to view everything outside of our borders as inferior and less). As the story line goes, through this journey, he reaches a form of self actualization on a spiritual and soulful level that he never experienced before. It was after this transformation that the Natives renamed him ?Dances with Wolves? to reflect his new essence as a human being. Basically, the film portrays his character as going from a life of meaninglessness, hopelessness, emptiness, and despair to a new life of hope and self actualization. He was reborn. He became ?one? with life and nature. In the movie, Ten bears (the tribes spiritual shaymen) comments to Lieutenant Dunbar about his new path when he says, ?I was just thinking that of all the trails in this life, there are some that matter most. It is the trail of a true human being. I think you are on this trail, and it is good to see.?, I feel that what I discovered abroad with the way other cultures live their lives, so genuinely, with such strong family values, and with such a lack of artificialness, plasticness, and materialism to them, it has changed me in a similar way. It set me on soulful and spiritual path that I never could have experienced had I not escaped the shallow and souless Ameircan culture where one?s career and ?material things? are a measure of a man,..where the competitive vibe in this society is such that someone has to lose in order for someone to win. Whether we Americans like to admit this or not, it is true. The research section proves this with many expert quotes talking about this American ?competitive? vibe along with our worship of material things and our focus on ?consumerism? for happiness.???
A value of a person is not measured based on their economic function or their accumulated wealth (i.e. The ole keeping up with the Jones?.) I believe that other (non Western) cultures are far closer to being on this ?true path of a human being? than American culture ever will be. And to marry someone who has grown up all their life in a culture that is on this spiritually healthy path is a very good thing as this person is more mature, more emotionally balanced, and has a healthier disposition and solid foundation for building a successful relationship. Most Americans I know (even those who don?t ascribe to the message of this site) readily admit to the fact that foreigners have FAR better family values.
Overseas, I saw how human beings are meant to live!
Families are extremely close and will go to great lengths to sacrifice for
each other. (Definitley not a trait of the Average American family, only
some, most likely country folk). People abroad are refreshingly humble,
grateful, and appreciative of whatever you do for them. Woman in
The USCIS divorce rate statistic of 20% with international marriages vs 50-60% with American marriages supports this notion. As the top American experts are telling us, we Americans are becoming more and more of a shallow and souless people.
In her book, Social Psychologist Jean Twenge says the following statement about American culture:
Once again, back to my story. Later in the movie ?Dances with Wolves?, the main character John Dunabr writes a sentence in his diary that matches what I felt like when I was among foreigners of 3rd world countries. ?They were a people so eager to laugh, so devoted to family, so dedicated to each other. The only word that comes to mind is harmony.? ?In this regard, I recall while traveling to the poorest provinces of the Philipinnes, I saw people who had absolutely nothing materially, but their souls and spirit seemed to be in perfect harmony with life and those around them. They were so much more happier than most Americans I see today. They are content singing their karoake and having the simple things in life. But what they have that we Americans lack is true human connectedness. Having a cultural bond and connectedness with others around you (Im not just talking with friends and family, I mean feeling a general connection amongst the people in a culture), fills the soul with the nourishment that humans need to be happy and content in life. Dr Jean Twenge talks about this American tendency of isloation and lonliness due to the ferver in which we embrace individualism and going it alone in life.??
Jean Twenge clearly sees how unhappy and disgruntled most Americans tend to be. In her book she says:
individualist ethos of
found foreigners to be so close to one another and so well socially connected
to their families, neighbors, and those around them. Overseas, absent is the
vibe that? ?everyone is expected to mind
their own business? type vibe that is so common in American culture today. In
addition, there is no compeitive vibe where people are divided into winners and
losers based on what you do for a living or what you own. In
?In the book ?Costs of Living?, Barry Schwartz describes a former student who said he thought twice about burdening friends with his life and his problems because he knew how consumed they were with their own, and what a sacrifice it would entail for them to spend the time required to listen to him and to help him out. I put a post it note on that page and wrote ?this is a very familiar story? . ?
The point being, in
?Generation Me often lacks other basic
human requirements: stable close relationships, and a sense of community. The
She also states:
?Isolation and loneliness readily lead to anxiety and depression. A mountain of evidence links loneliness and being alone with negative mental health outcomes. I often feel that many of us are one breakup or one move away from depression - our roots are not deep enough, our support systems too shallow.??
?But in foreign cultures, you feel more accepted, whole and authentic.The genuine social environment allows you to relax and be yourself, without developing inferiority complexes or mental disorders. No one has to see a therapist. In fact, seeing a therapist is almost unheard in non Western societies.?
?Americans also score the highest in the world
on narcissism tests. In American culture, money and materialism trumps all
else, spiritualness and soulfulness be dammed. You really don?t realize how
artifical and plastic American culture is until you spend time overseas
interacting amongst peoples of other cultures. We think of ourselves as so
advanced and better than everyone else in the world just because we have
technolgy and money. Our media trains us to think this way. But as the research
shows, it?s all a mass egotistical delusion. Jean Twenge said in her
research,? ?Americans are #1 at thinking they are #1?.? Americans have only succeeded at deluding
themselves with their false and deluded superiority complex. And in the end,
money and technology mean very little when it comes to matters of the soul, and
having meaningfulness and happiness in life. As Mother Theresa said when she
came to the
WHAT WE REALLY MEAN BY ?A CULTURAL BOND OF HUMAN CONNECTEDNESS?
?Filipino culture is based
on the notion of kapwa, a Tagalog word that roughly translates into "shared being."In essence, it means
that most Filipinos, deep down, do not believe that their own existence is
separable from that of the people around them. Everything, from pain to a snack
or a joke, is there to be shared. "The strongest social urge of the
Filipino is to connect, to become one with people", says De
In America, Ive also seen a tendency of adult children demanding or expecting their parents to buy them things such as a car or house. While there is nothing wrong if the parents choose to do so, the problem lies with the entitlement attitude of the adult children in demanding or expecting that their parents do so. This is the problem with the spoiled attitudes in American culture of today. We demand and expect things just like spoiled children, when we should be patient, gracious, and grateful. Ive heard it said by foreigners that Americans often behave like spoiled adult children. Who can blame them?
?But overseas, its just the opposite attitude!!
The foreign girls want to buy their parents a car or house!! Or they want to
help pay for their siblings education. Its classic selflesness. The self
centeredness and narcissism with many woman in
So, you may be asking how all this relates to our message. Well, it all ties together to explain why foreign woman in general are much more mature, well grounded, and? make for far better relationship partners which leads to more healthy relationships (hence only a 20% divorce rate as we have spoken of throughout this article).?
The best video clip I have ever seen that describes how foreign woman tend to be more mature and well grounded compared to the average American woman who is dysfunctional and carries lots of emotional baggage is listed here in this link here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np4UQX-3jRk?????
MYTHS VS FACT
Myth: An Asian Woman wants to escape the poverty and will do anything to leave their country.
think this, of course have never visited an Asian woman at home. Family is very
strong so an she will only leave home if she is truly in love. But she wants
what any woman wants - a happy relationship with a man with whom she can share
her love. With women out-numbering men by as much as four to one in many parts
Myth: Your Lady
Will Leave You Once She Has Her Citizenship.
Because divorce is illegal in many Asian Countries women are not pre-programmed to think of divorce as a way out. To her, family is everything and they will not give it up without giving their all. Inter-racial love affairs, which begin long distance have proved to be much more successful than domestic love affairs. The overall divorce rate in the
?Myth: Only a Man With Problems Are Attracted To Asian Women
Wrong again. Many men are tired of the 'emotional baggage' many Western women carry after around thirty years of age. Many men are attracted to the beauty of an Asian woman. Many men are simply attracted by the fact that age and looks are largely irrelevant to an Asian woman. In fact you will find that most Asian women really do want a considerably older partner. The fact that far more inter-racial marriages are successful than internal marriages speaks for itself.
Myth: Most Men Only Want an Asian Woman Because They Are More Submissive.
Another myth put about by people who have zero knowledge of the Asian personality. Asian women are tolerant, loyal and easy to get along with. This is, to the uneducated, confused with submission. If anything, an Asian woman is much better at getting what she wants than many Western women, they are just more subtle and tactful about it.
*Truth be told -? An Asian Woman knows how to make her man happy even while she gets her own way.
On the Russian side of this submissive myth (http://russianwomentruth.com/faq/)
There?s a famous Russian saying that says that the Man may be the head of the family but his wife is the neck that turns the head into the direction it wants!
women are very strong, resourceful and streetwise. The amazing thing is that
they are all of this without being loud or obnoxious as is prevalent in the
were submissive then they wouldn?t be able to survive in this tough
environment. For example they are often dealing with drunk, aggressive and
sometimes dangerous Russian men who want to harass or have sex with them.
Behavior that would get a man locked up in no time flat in the
Miscellaneous posts and stories I found on this subject matter
??If more Western men knew how much better they could have it , there'd be none left in the West . The women here are sexy , appreciate their men , and are just as intelligent and ambitious as their Western counterparts . Buddy , if you like the modern "strong , independent" Western woman , by all means , have at it . They're all yours .
One post I found that by far is the best I ever saw regarding our message is as follows:
Numbers do not lie- have a look at statistics across the country and you will see that overall, young men outnumber young women by somewhere around 11:10. In some places it is 12:10 or more. Add to this the fact that Hollywood brainwashes young women that they deserve rich and handsome young husbands with big cars and great careers and houses, and the fact that 20% of sexy hunks with money and good looks get 80% of the women, and you have a recipe for a disaster for a simple young man who just wants a date. He can't get one because numbers and statistics are not in his favor. Social and demographic trends are not in his favor. The Puritanical culture of not talking to strangers is not in his favor. In other words, he is behind the eight ball when it comes to dating.
The solution to the problem is simple- the surplus men many of whom are not in the most desirable category from the American woman's point of view, should go to places on Earth where there is a shortage of men and a surplus of women and where young women outnumber young men.
Try it and you will see what I mean. Go to
You will see than instead of steely, supercilious looks that you get from women in the US, or, no looks at all, your appearance as a man on the streets of Moscow or Manila will attract curious, friendly and warm expression of interest from young ladies all over. They will be asking you questions, flirting with you, and saying yes to a dinner invitation.
So, why are they so nice? Because good men are hard to find there. The men can get a girlfriend any time they want, and at any age. They do not need to exercise, take classes in social skills, dress well or join clubs. And they are the ones who do the choosing.Men walk proud and tall there, they do not sing whiny, sweet songs to women, women sing those to men and about men. It is a man's world out there and a man's market.
In their country, there is an army of SEVERAL MILLION LONELY BACHELORETTES who cannot find a good boyfriend.
is another personal compelling story that I can attest is pretty accurate of
what most men will experience if they go to the
?After I arrived at the
hotel where I was to stay, immediately I met a girl, a floor
manager and she seemed to be interested in me. We talked and I plucked up my
courage and asked her on a date- Guess what the answer
was? "Yes!!! When can we go?"Wow! Just like that! I was not used to
it. None of this- "I am busy, I have an appointment/headache" stuff
you hear in the
Then, the next day I left early to avoid her as I really did not want to get hooked on the first girl I met and just stepped out of the hotel and started walking. The streets were full of young college girls- all in really cute uniforms and every girl was cuter than the next. Some were looking at me. Then one girl blew me a kiss. I heard "Wow! Handsome" coming from some...Incredible!
And as I sat down, one young guy told me: "Hey, you are new here, watch out! ". I asked him why I should watch out. He said: "Because we are gonna marry you to a Filipina." I grunted something and off we went. I went to the beach and then on the way back, these college girls just flooded into the jeepney. One really cute creature just like one of those dream Hawaiian girls from the movie Blue
This was just the beginning. Later I got on another jeepney and it was full of girls, too. One girl stared at me and asked me: "You got a wife?" I said "No". She pointed at her friends: "Well, choose one!" And they all roared with laughter. The thing was the girls were all so cute and fresh-looking and appearing very happy. They were friendly. Modest, coquettish, feminine yet aggressive. Real girls.
The floor manager at the hotel met me again and we went out again but I told her " Baby, baby don't get hooked on me..." and just asked that we'd be just friends. Then the second girl called me and said these words: "Hello, my name is Inday, we met in the jeepney. I told all the girls in college about you and they all want to meet you."
Yup! They ALL want to meet me.
I went to a department store and again it was chuck full of little miss Universes- sales girls. I approached a counter and they crowded me.
" You are so cute. Your face is so cute". Then on another occasion I was paying for some stuff that I bought and the cashiers started whispering something. I though something was wrong. The answer was: "Very handsome"." Who, me?" "Yes, you". "What is so handsome about me?" "I don't know, maybe it is your tantalizing eyes". And they started laughing.
I could go on and on and on. I would sit down and relax and girls would pass by and whisper to each other pointing me out. The word I learned was "gwapo"- handsome. Once I was just crossing the road. Four young ladies linked their hands and would not let me through. Sales girls from stalls would call out- "Hello, Darling!"
After a few days, I noticed something different about me when I looked in the mirror. My eyes were no longer sad as they used to be. I was smiling for real. Because this was the way a man should be treated. Appreciated. Desired. Women should seek him out and not the other way around. Rejections and maltreatment by women in the
A place like that was not planet Earth the way I knew it. At least it should not be planet Earth. It was a Shangri-lah.
At night, my nightlife would start. I would go to bars and karaoke establishments and there would be girls everywhere and not many guys. The girls would crowd me. They were so gorgeous I was out of breath.
That's living!. No amount
of job satisfaction or professional achievement can bring you close to the
sense of fullfilment that such experiences can bring.
In 1998 I took $14,000 I saved up and went to the
I invite all guys who are
fed up with being lonely to experience what I have experienced. The
And if you are not handsome in the
And if the society in the
A story from www.globaldatingrevolution.com
?I learned on this trip how easy it is for even an average guy to
date many good-looking, sweet girls at the same time. Men have so much power in
the Lower Tiers, you can date a different girl every night. Not a day passed
that I did not spend time with a nice, sexy young woman. But sometimes that
power can get out of hand. A couple of times some of the girls I dated met some
of my other girlfriends and they branded me as a player! Then, some of the girls
stop talking to me.But others liked me so much they forgave me. Really, they
have no choice; in the Lower Tiers it?s the women who have the 4 handicaps to
deal with, not the men! There are times when I date just one girl because I
like her so much, but the women in these lands still know that the power is in
my hands. It?s a totally different feeling than I experience in
Here is another:
?Some, actually many who marry these Filipina beauties, swear they make the best wives in the world, not only beautiful, but loyal, loving and faithful past death. From living here so long that has been my experience too. And, don't worry if you are older or overweight, like half the population of the western world. Both women and men here have the highest respect for age and weight is a plus to some here. It is a status symbol. If you are overweight, you virtually lose twenty percent of your weight when you step on Philippine soil. Age is respected. Consider yourself lucky to not be a kid anymore.?
Here is a real email I recieved from a friend who is obvioulsy quite passionate about this issue (LOL):
I have a profile on http://filipinacupid and you would not believe what I have experienced since getting a platinum membership.
These women are humble, and many times apologetic. I asked one if she was a virgin and she said no. Then she said, "I am so sorry I am not. Maybe I am not for you." After that, I replied, "there is no need to apologize. I am flexible and don't judge women based on that solely."
Another woman emailed me and she was 39 years old. She said how sorry she was for not being as young as most women are that date guys my age. She was very humble. I replied that I didn't judge by age, only by personality and the ability to make a man feel good.
Steve, these women are light years ahead of our American woman who make most men feel lowly and shitty. I am totally done with American women, permanently!
And another post:
?It was a shock, but it did not hit me until in my late 20's that foreign women, first and foremost, carried themselves like a LADY, they were also helpful, generally more honest, more considerate and cooperative, and did not challenge me or get in my face like a undisciplined western woman would..?
A u tube post I found:
?Dammitt man you hit the nail on the head. I remember when I lived in Austin I saw an Indian women walk with her husband down to their car and hand him his lunch and give him a kiss before he went to work and I thought WOW how strange?
A post at Happier abroad.com:
My best friends dad said one time there are
a 100 million women in this country and you can't tell me there aren't any good
women here. I agree but most of them are taken and the percentage of good women
I would reckon is very low.
Also, in my opinion, an American female from the age of 18 to 35 just do not possess a traditional marriage mindset. The values that should be taught to these girls from a young age have been completely abandoned. It's evident in the way they act. I see it!! I hear the way they talk. I see the way they act. Look how these girls and women carry themselves anymore. Tattoos/tramp stamps on their lower backs and other parts of their body. Piercings in their lips, tongue, and upper eyelids. Dressing like hookers and going to stores in their pajamas and slippers. Different color hair. I see all this crap in public places and it makes me SICK!!!! This seems to be the norm these days with American females. Not all are like this, of course, but I'm sure most of you know all this crap I just mentioned is evident and very widespread.
It's just this artificial
culture we live in and the lack of a values being taught to them that have made
American women into very immature, backwards, and mentally unstable beings.
So why should I be optimistic about finding a woman of quality with a traditional mindset? So people say you can't generalize. How would you feel if someone made a generalization about American men? You have to get to know the person first before judging. Well, the way many of these women carry themselves zaps all romantic intentions. Once in a blue moon I'll see a chick that catches my eye and I think she might be worth getting to know, BUT as we already know no signs of interests are shown. They act closed off and don't acknowledge that you're trying to flirt. So I leave them alone.
However, I would still give an American chick a chance provided she has some class and carries herself like a feminine woman. But that seems to be scarce. I'm always on the outlook for a quality woman.
Insight as to why many men will not search abroad for love and marriage
Internet Forum posts on this subject:
?They will not go for a
variety of reasons: skepticism, the arrogant belief that American women are the
best the world has to offer, fear of the unknown, lack of funds, inability to
travel alone, brainwashed by feminists that FW are greencard seeking
golddiggers, and the list goes on and on.?
?The bottom line is
WEAKNESS prevents most men from venturing out of the
?Americans are scared of the outside world. Main stream media. The media pounds this theme into them 24x 7. They think the rest of the world is a 3rd World Shithole and that you will be shot for your wallet before you make it to your hotel room.?
? I think men are
also programmed into believing this consumerist culture is 'the ideal' of the
world. They ignorantly feel they are in the best place right where they are,
despite the fact that any marriage they walk into here has a 50%-60% chance of
ending in divorce. You may as well play russian roulette, you actually would
have better odds.?
?I also think a lot of men DON'T KNOW. I am a well travelled person, but until the recomendation of my best friend, then discovering this site and others, I never even thought about it as a viable option. People get so stuck in trying to run the broken down treadmill of the mating scene here they don't realize they could have it better abroad. Instead, they fall off the treadmill, then get right back on it, over and over again.....the average mangina thinks its NOT A PROBLEM WITH WOMEN IN GENERAL, BUT THE INDIVIDUAL. "She just wasn't the right one." How many times do you have to tell yourself that? I think the first step in turning a mangina into a man, one who would want to look abroad, is that he needs to realize THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THE WOMEN OF THIS COUNTRY AND THE WEST COLLECTIVELY, NOT INDIVIDUALLY.?
?I think the main
reason for this is simply because of lack of knowledge.?
?The idea that women could be sweet, warm, nurturing and kind by nature is so completely outside the reality of the average man in the Anglosphere, you might as well be telling him that the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus really exists. ?
?I read some stats about how in the
?And thus the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.?
?People are so ignorant and fearful that they would rather die before taking the smallest risk. They spend so many money on houses, cars, and crap. They are all so indebted into their ears that is ridiculous. Yet they couldnt spend a few dollars on a life changing experiment. They are too lazy to do anything and rather continue rotting away into nothingness.?
?American men and women are morphing into one singular sex but now they dispise each other. In the eyes of American women, there aren't enough rich guys to go around and since they won't SETTLE for anything else, they remain dateless and miserable. Most American men have become comfortably numb and they can't shake their "pro American" stances enough to experiment with foreign women. So, it's become one big CLUSTERF*CK.?
What?s wrong with the American male of today?
A Real Woman Wants A Real Man
Men are PC'ed to death. The
consequences of almost 50 years of ardent feminism have been devastating: a
society in bewilderment about gender roles, the rise of a class of ball-busting
bitches whose battle cry is, "We don't need men," trumped-up charges
of "date rape" and "sexual harassment," angry women blaming
men for all their problems -- in short, an overall erosion of male confidence.
As society becomes more and more feminized, as more and more young men are being raised by single mothers who don't have a clue about the male sex drive, but who teach their sons to surrender their natural masculinity and pander to women, today's man is forced to apologize for -- and feel shame about -- his inherent male sexuality.
This abrogation of sexual confidence
has resulted in a world full of wusses and doormats, men who cater to women and
willingly hand over all their male power in exchange for a few crumbs of
approval or sexual "favors."
The modern man walks around on eggshells, afraid of saying the "wrong thing," scared of showing his natural sexual interest to a woman, scared of being scorned, humiliated, or even fired -- scared of his own true self.
All of this flies in the face of nature. For years now, men have been forced to bend over backwards to please women, but pandering to a self-serving social movement can't really reverse five billion years of human evolution.
Clearly this essential point is lost on the female gender because women just don't have a clue what it is to be truly sexual -- a woman's sex drive can't even begin to compare with a man's. Yet modern feminism still blindly strives to feminize men into submissive she-males.
And the truth is, despite what women say and how much they protest, they want a man who acts like a man. Scratch the surface and you'll find that deep down they don't really want a man to act like a woman any more than a guy wants a chick to be masculine.
So instead of letting women snip pruning shears at their crotches, it's time for men to stop apologizing for being male, to celebrate their inherently sexual natures, and to reclaim their sexual confidence.
Find out what sexually confident guys are like
Just what is sexual confidence? First, it's important to
understand what it's not.
Men who are not sexually confident:
? Seek approval from women
? Cater or pander to women
? Call women every day or worse, many times a day (clingy, needy)
? Try to buy their time and attention with meals, gifts, etc.
? Are nervous, insecure or overly nice around women
? Act like women's friends instead of their lovers
? Are available at the drop of a hat
? Tolerate without protest rude behavior, cancelled dates, etc.
? Go out of their way to please women in the hope of getting laid
? Are afraid that if they do "something wrong," she'll leave
? Grovel, beg, or are desperate for sex
? Obsess about and over-analyze everything women say and do
? Feel shameful or guilty about their natural sexuality
? Let women manipulate them or treat them like "walking wallets"
? Are lousy lovers
The direct opposite of all these is sexual confidence.
To get an insight into what sexual confidence is, just watch any "bad
boy" in action -- one of those obnoxious, selfish, abusive jerks that
women swear they hate, yet flock to like ants discovering a candy factory.
Why are women attracted to these guys? Because females think with their emotions, not with logic -- and Bad Boys are sexually exciting .
And just what determines sexual confidence? Sexually confident men:
? Don't make excuses for who they are -- they exude sexuality and they're comfortable with their natural masculinity
? Aren't afraid of being who they are
? Have no interest in being PC, morphing their true selves to gain female approval, or being overly nice
? Don't have to trade money or gifts for sex (a.k.a. "dating")
? Always control the relationship
? Never tolerate any female BS
? Radiate sexually-charged body language
? Flirt easily and well
? Are natural leaders, not followers
? Unabashedly look at women's bodies
? Don't care if they score with a particular woman, because they know that there are many others waiting in line. They want sex, but they don't need it -- they aren't?
???? desperate and groveling for it
? Never apologize for who they are
? Act like men around
women, not wusses.
In other words, sexually confident men aren't afraid to be themselves or to exert their natural sexuality -- and don't really care what society thinks of them. Unlike bad boys, sexually confident men are not abusive toward women -- in fact, they love the company of women and treat them very well. And women can't keep their hands off them.
be a man
The good news is, a man doesn't have
to be built like Arnold
Schwarzenegger or look like Brad Pitt
to be sexually confident and attract women. But he does have to tap into his
natural masculinity and let it shine out for the female population to see.
When a man becomes confident and secure about his sexuality, he immediately asserts his independence and individuality. He becomes more selective. His self-image has been enhanced and he is comfortable being who he is instead of constantly changing his behavior to fit into society's current format.
Women can look into his eyes and read his body language and instantly know that he's a good lover. Instead of desperately seeking the approval of women and chasing after them like a puppy dog, he is now the "desired one," and women pursue him because he has transformed himself from a doormat into a challenge.
As the old saying goes, "Do what you've always done and you'll keep getting what you've always gotten." If you want to be sexually confident, all you have to do is be the man nature intended you to be.
Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex-Ploytation. He has appeared on radio shows from coast-to-coast in the
What?s wrong with
Money and ?THINGS? as our one true God
Too many Americans today are generally superficial and materialistic and all they care about is their image, money and fame. Who do I need to impress today? Do I have the latest iPhone, do I have the coolest shoes, do I have the best page on MySpace? Americans are obsessed with celebrities and celebrity life. Americans' happiness is either material belongings or having money. You can't buy happiness and your car shouldn't make you happy.
See this NEWS Article about this very issue
??You know, the air is really ?thin? in the
Here?s what the US lacks, which I
believe Mexico has: community, friendship, appreciation of beauty,
craftsmanship as opposed to obsessive technology, and?despite what you read in
the American newspapers?huge graciousness; a large, beating heart. I never
found very much of those things in the
Bill Maher NAILS it! -----? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ro3wuck_ro
Photo Above : Today?s American Culture
Proof of a empty and shallow
A sign of a culture starting to slide downhill - you have the lowest common denominator held high on the cultural pedestal
You won?t see this degree of douche bagness (oops, I mean narcissism) in other parts of the world.
As this photo clearly shows, it?s not only the American woman who can be shallow, materialistic, and
Narcissistic. It can sometimes be the men too. This is the type of crowds you typically encounter in the
??????????????????????????? Douche bags of
Douce bags/bad boys like this is what many American woman flock to
?????????????????????????????? (Though most will try to deny it!)
This is one of the main reasons I consider a significant percentage of? American woman
??????????????????????????????????????? ???to be so dysfunctional
??????????? Truth be told, foreign woman would kick a guy like this to the curb!! It goes to
??????? show how healthy and balanced foreign woman are just by the choices they make.
????????????????? Very few foreign woman would be attracted to these type of guys
For PROOF of this dysfunctional trend of American woman preferring ?bad boys? (aka: jerks) , See this video below
Great observation about American culture
even among people who know each other is very bad here in
For example, it's so bad now, I know of young women who drop their new born BABIES off at the daycare center because they have to be at work all day, where as, back in the old days it took a woman months to recover from having a baby and she took that time to bond with the child.
So as a result, you have children who don't develop any strong bonds with anybody (not even each other really) and they grow up into adults who are indifferent, cold, and some who are ruthlessly competitive towards each other.
These same people also grow into hyper-materialistic consumers because they have learned that consuming things is a way to artificially make yourself feel better and make up for what they're not getting from American society via REAL relationships. These are the kind of people who brag that they don't need anybody because they have all the money to supposedly make up for being alone.
Oprah Winfrey talks to Tom Shadyac about his new movie ?I AM? due out in theatres Feb 2012
Note -? BELOW, I have hi lighted in red the specific parts of this article that backs up and supports everything we have been saying on this site about what?s wrong America and American culture. The underlines parts back up what our ?research section?? has revealed. In black are my own comments.?
?This famous hollywood producer?s research
reveals that American culture is ?Competitve??
rather than cooperative like most other cultures (such as Latin America,
?Several years ago, Tom
Shadyac seemed to have it all: a multimillion-dollar career directing Hollywood
blockbusters like Bruce Almighty
and The Nutty Professor, a
17,000-square-foot mansion, fancy cars, the luxury of flying in private jets,
invitations to extravagant parties and more. It was a life many people dream
Despite these many luxuries, Tom says something just didn't feel right.
"I was standing in the house that my culture had taught me was a measure of the good life," Tom recalls in his documentary I Am. "I was struck with one very clear, very strange feeling: I was no happier."Tom says that part of what's wrong with our world?and the lie that he says he was living?is our culture's definition of success.
"[We have] a very extrinsic model of success," he explains. "You have to have a certain job status, a certain amount of wealth. ... I think true success is intrinsic. ... It's love. It's kindness. It's community." (Go visit any latin american or asian village or town, you see this cooperative nature in action. The people are so much more happier, more authentic, genuine,? and mentally well adjusted compared to Americans who are indivudualistic and competitive to the point of dividing it?s societal members into winners and losers which creates the highest rate of depression, stress, and mental illness in the entire world!!!)?
As Tom journeyed on his quest to find out what would truly make him happy and help unearth what's wrong with our world, he made major changes to his lifestyle. Today, Tom lives in a modest mobile home, bikes to work and flies commercial airlines?and he says he's never been happier. (This is why foreigners from cooperative cultures are far more happier than americans are. For example,
To find out why the
world is the way it is, Tom explored the readings of scientists, philosophers,
poets and others, and spoke with thought leaders, including Archbishop Desmond
Tutu, scientist Dean Radin, researcher Rollin McCraty of the HeartMath
Institute, journalist Lynn McTaggart, professor Dacher Keltner of U.C.
Berkeley, author Thom Hartmann and
What he discovered revolves around three key concepts that are explored in I Am:
1. It is scientifically proven that the entire human race is connected.
2. It is human nature to be cooperative rather than competitive.
3. If you don't do what your heart wants you to do and follow your passion, it will destroy you.
In I Am, Tom says, "There's one
fundamental law that all of nature obeys that mankind breaks every day. Now,
this is a law that's evolved over billions of years, and the law is this:
Nothing in nature takes more than it needs."
In our culture, however, humans often take more than they need by buying large homes, driving expensive cars and living excessively, as Tom says he did.
(Our ?research section?
documents numerous social psychologists who say that when people focus their
efforts on gaining material wealth and possessions,? they become unhappy and depressed)
"We have a term for something in the body when it takes more than its share," Tom says in the documentary. "We call it cancer."
Tom says he didn't want to be a part of that cancer?he wanted to be a part of the healing. "We must lose this cancerous idea that we have to take everything we can," he says.
In a culture that takes
more than it needs and gets caught up in the quest for wealth and power, Oprah
says that one of the ways we've gotten so off course is the obsession with
Tom: Celebrity should be celebrated. We should celebrate you and others for your talent. For your gift. ... [However,] when we put people on a pedestal, [we get] in the way of our authentic selves. (When you travel abroad and REALLY get to know the other cultures around the world, you discover that Americans are actually some of the least authentic people in the world. Rather, many of us tend to superficial and plastic but we don?t realize it!)
Oprah: Aren't we the feeder system? Everybody who's watching it? We're the
feeder system. You can see how it reflects us, and we reflect it.
Tom: The audience?you guys have all the power. You see, you have to stop elevating us. I don't want to be your hero. I want to be your brother. You know, I want to be your family member. I want to be your equal. And if you start seeing things as they are, like as the divine sees it...who will celebrate the women who swept this floor as much as any artist because she is an artist too. We're all artists. If you guys start doing that, it will change.
A big revelation in I Am is that our culture is wrongly built around the idea of
Tom says in the film, "That's pretty much the message that I got as a kid:
'Separate yourself from the pack.' 'Be number one.' And 'Win." (Once again, we see more evidence that are claim about American
culture being a ?competitive? rather than a ?cooperative? one is supported. See
our research section where social psychologists such as Jean Twenge say that
American culture is a ?competitive? culture that divides its citizens into
winners and losers. In other words, someone must lose in order for someone to
win. This is extremely unhealthy and leads to a sick society.
Though our culture may be built around competition, I Am strives to answer the question of whether it's competition or cooperation that is the essential nature of humans.
"If you talk to people in aboriginal or indigenous cultures, you find the highest societal values is cooperation. And competition is a very low value. And competition beyond certain boundaries is considered mental illness," says author Thom Hartmann in I Am. "You look at our culture, and cooperation is considered a relatively low value. And competition is considered the highest value. We celebrate the most powerful competitors."
But is competition the true essence of human nature? Thom says that scientists decided to test this hypothesis and found that it is not.
"What [scientists] found was that democracy was being played out literally every day by ... animals," Thom says. He recalls his own experiences of going scuba diving and seeing schools of fish dart around as a collective group, and also remembers watching flocks of birds in his backyard fly together and change directions suddenly while still remaining together. (This is why foreign cultures have little to no mental illness and are far healthier, and produce far healthier and well balanced marriage partners!!)
"How did they know?" Thom asks. "Well, it turns out, when you do the slow-motion photography, they're all voting literally with every wing beat or with every gill beat. They're voting hundreds of times a minute. And [the scientists] said, 'We found this from insects all the way up to primates.' The basis of nature is cooperation and democracy. It's in our DNA."
Another one of the
important concepts in I Am is
one that Oprah has said for years: If you don't do what your heart wants you to
do and follow your passion, it will destroy you.
"People find happiness in direct proportion to doing what they love," she says. "If you don't do what you love, you die a little every day."
Following one's heart may require him or her to make changes in life, and the way people change, Tom says, is to ask questions. The main question he wants people to ask themselves is this: Who are you? Not what your culture has told you to be, but who are you on the inside? (This is what my exposure to foreign cultures, especially the
"I think many of us are living inauthentic lives," he says. "Authenticity means to be the author of your own life. I think many of us are telling stories that have been given to us rather than our own story." (Amen to that! American culture and Americans generally lack authenticy and genuiness. Many if not most of us have been trained and taught by our culture to be artificial, shallow, and superficial. Think Im nuts for saying that? Well don?t believe me, believe the experts!! Jean Twenge and many other experts agree!(See our research section for proof) They all say that we are a culture driven by flash rather than substance. Image trumps authenticay. Jean Twenge says ?A corrosion of close relationships and a substitution of fantasy for reality ? paint a bleak image of the world. It (
Quote by Winston WU of happier abroad addressing the skeptics
?The narcissism of
American women, unrealistic entitlement standards, lack of commitment, princess
attitude, not needing men, not liking nice men, mistreating men, hating and
despising men, being too picky, being paranoid of strangers, etc. etc. are all
real and objectively proven. They are not mere opinions in the minds of
frustrated men. They are well documented and proven, as you can see in Steve's
What I'm saying is that, the problem is not all in the minds of the dateless frustrated men in
After all, in other
countries, there are no movements of dateless guys who can't find a decent
woman. That logically says that the problem is in
Don?t accept the American Bill of sale for relationships
The dating imbalances in
One of my favorite yet so DIRECT testimonials I have seen out there goes as follows:
?Many men in
And Another excellent real life post:
?When I first began this
journey, I did not take into account how much it would change me fundamentally on
my beliefs and philosophy on western culture. I made the tremendous realization
that I did not have to put up with the women in
? Brothas, expand your horizons- you don't have to settle!! There are women elsewhere that will literally blow your mind, but you will never know unless you book that plane ticket!!Once you go abroad it?s obvious. ?
?Go to South America, you will be up to your ears in hot young aggressive foreign Latina girls that will be fighting over you like as if you were a billionaire.?
?when you finally make it out of
told a dating expert about his great success in
?I coach men on how to join the Global Dating Revolution? especially guys who are coming off a bad divorce, experiencing long periods of being single, or are simply sick and tired of the local upper tier dating scene. As the saying goes, it?s the sick that need the cure, not the healthy. I know! I was once sick myself, and now I?m completely cured. And now I want to help other men, enjoy the same success I have achieved by joining me in the Global Dating Revolution.? (www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
So guys, in conclusion, please educate yourself. Read the research section of this site and judge for yourself the credibility of the experts and researchers of whom I quote. Feel free to message me and let me know what you think of it. Also, come participate in our Online Community? forum and tell us if any of these things presented here ring true with your own experiences with dating local vs abroad. And for the guys who decide to actually dip their toes into international dating waters, please come back and share your experiences at the happier abroad Forum so that others may learn and benefit and be inspired by? your story.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for allowing me to share why I am so passionate and inspired by the message at Happier Abroad.
God Bless and good luck!
Research Specialist and Promoter of Happier Abroad