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HAPPIER
ABROAD Why
You Will Have A Better Love and Life Beyond
Why I like
Filipinas the best - as lovers, playmates, and best friends
Here is an update I wrote to my mailing list in March 2007 about why I love Filipinas:
There
is good news now. As I'm writing this
from the
Well it's simple, but it wasn't by changing "myself" (for I wasn't the problem). And it wasn't by changing my attitude, thoughts or going through some self-help/pop psychology/New Age program or seminar. In fact, I didn't even have to change myself or who I was. I just remained the same person. Instead, it was simply by changing my geographic LOCATION, environment and culture, entering another world so to speak. Let me explain.
In the US, no one talks to me except old
people, I can't
get any dates at all, women are completely anti-social to me, strangers
act
like I don't exist, and I am totally ignored and feel like I don't
exist. Unfortunately, women in
So, with everything that I am suppressed, strangled, and invalidated, how could I possibly be happy or positive, when I can't be who I truly am or act out my nature of being an outgoing fun vibrant social butterfly? It's simply not possible, nor is it natural.
But
on the other hand, here in the
Best of all, these sweet cuties and angels in turn see me as attractive, handsome, cute, interesting, charming, significant to them, etc. etc. and that completely VALIDATES who I am! I completely exist and matter to the women that I'm ATTRACTED to here! And that's HUGE! It means more than words can say. Everyday here, I feel like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise! Literally. No exaggerating here.
Thus, I am finally allowed to be the social butterfly that I am, as well as positive, confident, optimistic and happy. How can I not be, when all my fantasies and desires and wants/needs are being fulfilled here, naturally and with the flow too!? Simply put, who I am is ACCENTUATED here, rather than invalidated or suppressed.
Some people here even say that I'm the
most positive and
confident person they've ever met. (If
only
they knew where I was coming from!) The
difference is astounding. It's like a
completely different universe where I'm a completely different person. The magnitude of my dating life here is
literally "out of this world" (out of the world of
Critics and prejudiced Americans will commonly charge that the women here, as well as in most foreign countries, like me for money and a green card to the US. However, they are wrong because: (please read these ten bulleted points carefully)
1) Many girls here don't care
about my money
and STILL like/love me even after I tell them that I’m on a
budget and very
frugal. They like and enjoy my funny, sweet, sappy, positive,
enthusiastic personality.
2) This is
probably the biggest
reason, and my Expat Advisor, a long time visitor to the
3) I’ve
slept with both bar
girls and normal girls for FREE, simply cause they liked me and found
me sweet,
romantic, tender and charming! They never asked me for any
money!
Imagine that. That could never happen to me in the States.
That
proves right there that they aren’t after me only for money, but
that I am very
sweet, likable and charming to them. And I’ve gotten
free kisses
here from many girls too, including French kisses (and NO, they
don’t do
that to every guy!).
4) A few girls here (but not
most) have
told me that I’m not their type, for they like white guys or
bigger masculine
guys. And conversely, I’ve seen some
reject white guys in favor of me, because I’m more of the type
they like and go
for. Now, if it were all about
“money
and a green card”, then “type” wouldn’t matter
now would it? But it does, because taste,
romantic
chemistry, and attraction matter as well.
5) Filipinas have shown
favoritism toward
me over other older richer guys or customers. (I can't get
into
details about how since it wouldn't be appropriate to describe
here :))
This also proves that they don't like me just for money, since I
am
treated better, given favoritism and preferentail treatment over other
guys who
have more money than me, due to my higher likeability. I have a
fun
loving free-spirited personality that a lot of Filipinas resonate with,
as well
as a sweet romantic side, and a face they find young and handsome
(gwapo).
6) I've been able to get
acquainted and
befriend middle class girls here who have enough money themselves not
to need a
guy (which I can't do in the states). Sure, the middle or upper
class
girls aren't easy to "pick up" in public, but they find me
interesting and likable too, once they get to know me. And they
are willing
to spend personal time with me, unlike girls in the
7) There are some guys here with
looks and
money who don’t do well at all with Filipinas.
I know one good looking American guy here with a good income
from an
international job, and my Expat Advisor knows a good looking young
French
guy here with a successful art business.
Yet believe it or not, both of them can’t get a real
girlfriend in the
8) Now, think about this. If it were all about money or a green card,
then why aren’t poor foreign men seeking out American women the
way that poor foreign
women are? And why aren’t there websites or matchmaking agencies
out there for
foreign men seeking American women? It’s because there
isn’t a market for it.
Very few foreign men would want an American woman, even to get into the
9) From my experience with gold
diggers and
users in Russia and the Philippines, I’ve come to recognize their
common
patterns, such as the way they manipulate and tell lies, the way they
tell you
what you want to hear yet their actions contradict their words, and
their
tendency to ask for money within the first day or week of knowing you. And what I can tell you is that MOST of the
girls who like me here do NOT exhibit these traits.
10) A high
percentage of
Filipinas I get involved with tend to like to bite me and pinch me. I was told that they only do that to you if
they LIKE you. Certainly if they only
wanted to use me, they wouldn’t be biting and pinching me. They only do that to those they like or find
adorable, cute, or cuddly.
What
you’ve gotta understand is that it’s not a simple
case of “these women are friendlier to you cause they are poor
and need your
money.” I mean, yes money is a
factor
here. But what’s being overlooked
here
is that the poor are unspoiled and dependent, so they often have to
cultivate
good inner qualities in their personalities and behaviors to get what
they
need, and to compensate for their lack of material assets, especially
since
they have interdependent relations with others.
In other words, they have learned to treat others nicely to get
ahead,
whereas someone who already has it all doesn’t need to be nice
and can afford
to be spoiled, stuck up and treat others badly.
So that’s another reason why poor people are nicer. It’s not cause they only want your
money,
though money is an indirect cause of this, but it has more to do with
their
character being developed differently than ours.
Some guys
see everything in terms of money and
economics. Well I’m not one of those guys of course, for I
consider many
other deeper factors. Not every guy with money can duplicate
everything
I’ve done. Looks, personality, attitude, and chemistry are
strong factors
too, and in this culture, I rank high in those areas to them, even in
the looks
department since I am far closer to the ideal male image here than I am
to the one
in the states. That’s why I often
get
preferential treatment from girls here over richer guys not as
personable or
likable. In reality, human beings are very complex, and
don’t fit into
overly simplistic pet theories like “She just wants you for
money”. So
these one shot labels put together by shallow know-it-all people to try
to
explain other people just don’t hold. Perhaps these guys
are “all about
money” themselves, so they can’t help but assume that
everyone else is
too. But they can only speak for themselves, not for others.
Oddly
enough, there are some women (and men) who
genuinely believe that giving money is a demonstration and sign of true
love. These folks see no shame in
“buying love” and are proud to utter the phrase “no
money, no honey”. Such women will
even ask for money from a man
she truly loves, seeing nothing wrong with it.
But of course, I do not share their values.
An effective way I’ve found, to weed these
types out is to simply tell them that you are poor and on a tight
budget, and
act like it. If they disappear after
that, then you know what they were probably after.
If not, then you’ve got a more genuine girl.
Needless to say, if you want to impress
somebody, you don’t have to take them to a fancy restaurant
everyday; rather,
mix it up with several days of going to fast food or cooking at home. A nice sweet Filipina will appreciate that.
If you
think though, that all my experiences here are
with money grubbing whores, think again. Make no mistake, I can
and have
gotten NON-WORKING girls to sleep with me on a regular basis. So,
please
don’t assume all my experiences are with whores. Unlike in
Sure,
there are old fat white drunkards with money
here who are also sleeping with “hot girls” too.
However, there are two
primary differences between them and me – 1) They usually have to
pay girls to
be with them and/or send financial support to their families, 2) Their
dating
field is usually limited to the bar girls or whores, and they cannot
get dates
with normal Filipinas or pick up girls in normal public settings,
whereas I can
easily get dates in non-bar settings.
Anyway,
some of the relationships I have here even
eclipse the romances portrayed in Hollywood films, to the point where
when I watch
them, I say to myself, "I have a lot better than that in real
life!" And that's something I could
NEVER EVER have said in the
Believe it
or not, some girls here have even said that
I’m TOO HANDSOME for them! And that
because of that, they don’t trust me! In
their view, they explain, handsome men have many girls and don’t
stick to one,
and thus can’t be trusted. Thus,
they
prefer average looking men who are more likely to be anonymous, as they
don’t
like the drama of being in love with a guy who has many girls. Imagine that!
No one in the
The most
significant
difference for me is this: When I am
sociable and outgoing to girls in the
Likewise,
the biggest
difference between my life in the
In
short, here I LIVE the kind of love life I’ve
always DREAMED of!
In my
opinion, Filipinas
make the best girlfriends, lovers, and friends.
Compared to females in the other Asian countries, they aren't as
strict,
serious, prudish or hung up. Instead,
they are more relaxed, carefree, happy-go-lucky, easygoing, playful,
passionate
and sensual. They are also very
nonjudgmental
and nonracist. And they have a great
sense of humor, enjoying the silliest things which easily amuse them. Thus, you can always have fun and joke around
or play with them, even if you have nothing else to talk about. That's so nice and refreshing, especially
when you are so accustomed to antisociality and hostility from women in
the
Best of
all, they LOVE to
flirt. When I flirt with girls in the
Filipinas
are also a great
blend of outer and inner traits.
Ethnically, they are Asian, Malay and Spanish, resulting in a
very
exotic and beautiful mix that is very pleasing and sensual to the eyes. Their exotic sexy sensual olive complexion
ranges from light to dark shades, all of which are sexy to me and many
other
foreigners here. And their attractive
highly feminine appearance is combined with a tender romantic
loving/caring
inner side to them – a fantastic blend to say the least.
The way they treat you and
touch you is
just so sensual and fulfilling. They
have this warm tender touch that white women definitely don’t
have (not to
sound racist). I’ve experienced it
and
can understand now why so many foreign men are addicted to the
Thus,
I’d say that even if you didn’t have a taste for
Filipinas or Asian women before, if you come to the
Not only
are most Filipinas
either hot or cute, and passionate and tender in bed, but their
personality is
so soothing, gentle, easy-going and accommodating that they are like my
best
friends too. They are just so
comfortable to be around, in a way that you could never imagine
possible in the
West.
They are
also a great blend of White and Asian
traits. Their Spanish blood makes them
much more wild, relaxed, passionate and expressive than Orientals such
as the
Chinese, Japanese, or Koreans, who are non-expressive, robotic and
overly
serious and strict in comparison. And
they have big round eyes that are considered attractive in Western
Culture
(although to my surprise, my slanted Asian eyes are considered more
attractive
in Filipino culture than their big round eyes are).
They have all the physical beauty of thin
feminine Asian women in light and dark colors (“vanilla and
chocolate” so to
speak), as well as their humble, modest, sweet, pleasing, soothing
romantic
nature. The only drawbacks to them are
that they don’t like to think much, don’t like to answer
questions or provide
explanations when asked to do so, and are sometimes moody and quiet for
unexplainable
reasons that they refuse to discuss. It
seems in their nature to be that way.
Thus you don’t get much intellectual stimulation with them. But the good news is that it’s much
easier to
train and educate them than it is to teach a Westernized woman to be
sweeter
and more loving.
Although
Filipinas aren't
as intellectual, educated, or deep-thinking as the European women are,
they
make up for it in their other qualities.
They have this essence about them, warm sensual tenderness and a
way of
treating you that makes you feel needed and loved, like a real man, in
a way
that you had always wished and dreamed deep down but never dared hoped
for. It's beyond words - something you
have to feel and experience as a man to understand.
And when you do, you realize it's what you
had always wanted.and even friends. They
are tender, sweet, passionate and fun.
In a way,
it's like they
give new birth to your heart, for if your heart had lost faith
in love,
they awaken it and renew it with their child-like hope and belief in
love,
making it a reality for you, and making you a believer again as well.
Basically,
it’s like this: Here, there is
ALWAYS ACTION to be had, so I
am never bored. I can always go out,
have fun, get hot girls, and any type of action I want or need, ANYTIME! Contrast that to back in the states, where I
was forced to stay home all the time, as no one wanted to meet me if I
went
out, so there was no point. There was
nothing to do, no action to be had, no one to meet, no fun to be had,
etc. It was complete boredom and
suffocation, as
well as loneliness and isolation. (Yuck!)
But now that I can get action anytime I want here, or have fun
whenever
I want, there’s a reason for me to go out everyday!
Wow. I
NEVER have to stay home and be bored if I don’t want to here! In fact, there’s always something going
on
here that is fun and wild that I can PARTICIPATE in interactively (I
won’t give
you specifics, but leave it up to your imagination), not just sit back
and
watch passively, more than there is time for!
Best of all, there are ALWAYS tons of hot/sexy/cute/gorgeous
girls who
constantly want to meet me, be with me, have fun with me, get wild with
me, and
whatever escalates between us, MORE than I can handle!
It’s literally a “sex babe
Here, I
get the best of
both worlds. On the one hand, it’s
one
of the easiest places in the world to get sex, if not the easiest. And on the other, there are many
commitment-oriented romantic old-fashioned goody Catholic girls as well
to
choose from. So I can get easy sex, or
romance/steady relationship, for the sappy sentimental side of me, as
well! I can choose from either, the best
of both worlds! Thus, a person can
satisfy both his lust for casual sex and need for steady
relationship/romance!
(though society considers both desires to be mutually exclusive, I
don’t)
Anyhow, I gotta
tell you though, when you can go out and get hot girls, dates and
action
ANYTIME you want, and you have hot cuties gunning for you daily,
it’s an
INCREDIBLE FEELING. Nothing beats
it! It feels as though you’ve
transcended the barriers and physical laws of the universe! And it makes any sacrifices you make to be
here definitely WORTH IT.
Here in the
Anyone who
saw my life here
and my life in
To see
visual proof of what
I’m talking about, see my Photos from the
So,
contrary to what New
Agers and attitude fanatics (the "you create your own reality" crowd)
think, I didn't become a happy optimist by changing my attitude,
thoughts or
beliefs, but by exercising my power of choice and braving it out
against the
fear of the unknown, by going to another location on the other side of
the
globe. After all, in truth dating is
like real estate, as long as you are a decent guy, it’s all about
location,
location, location!
And that
folks, is the
bottom line I want to share with you.
Thank you.
For
another awe inspiring story of Salvation in the
http://www.happierabroad.com/Love_Adventure_Philippines.htm
Here are
some videos on YouTube that show you the
wonderful world of Filipinas here!
This video
that shows you the variety of
women in Philippines!
As you can see, they come in so many colors and types
to choose from!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls4zODEbE6A
Here is an incredible pictorial
presentation of Filipina beach babes. They
are proof of a man's paradise! (If this doesn't make
you jump on a plane to the
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfEhvdcOeUo
And get
this. All those girls are realistically attainable types, as
long as you are nice and sweet and no an a-hole.
Next, these Filipina media stars
guaranteed to make you drool! Warning! Once you
look,
there may be no going back! hehehe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0CaOWGt6o4
And
imagine this, these girls have this warm inclusive touch and vibe that
just fulfill you so much that you want to forget all other women!
Here are video stills of
typical expats and their Filipina
wives/gf's. They
are representative of what I see of typical expats and their Filipina
wives/girlfriends. They all look like nice people and the
Filipinas on them are very cute and attractive, to me at least.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5X0JQobPPY
More
videos of beautiful Filipinas can be found from here:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=filipina+girls&search_type=&aq=f
And
videos of beautiful Thai girls can be found from here:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=thai+girls&search_type=&aq=f
Note: If you are
considering
going to the
How a
Filipina transformed this
man's life and self-worth
Check out
this heartfelt touching story posted in my
Forum about how one man’s life and self-worth were completely
changed by a
Filipina!
https://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6931
“Admittedly,
I am not a big fan of everything that Winston Wu says and does, but I
do
believe there is a lot of truth in his ideas.
My story is similar to his. I
grew up being told that I was a freak, a weirdo, a homosexual, and a
moron. I couldn't understand what I was
doing wrong - I was smart, caring, insightful, hardworking, ambitious,
and
prosocial. I couldn't understand why
some people believed in all the drama that came from living an
antisocial life.
I was
punched, pushed into urinals, and worse. I
became convinced there was something wrong
with me...I even seriously considered suicide when I was in grade 11. That was in 1999, when the Columbine School
Shootings happened, and I identified with Eric Harris and Dylon Klebolt.
It
wasn't until high school was done and that I got into the real world
that I
realized that really, there isn't anything wrong with me.
In fact, some people looked up to me.
More
importantly, I discovered Filipinas.
Well, Filipinas discovered me.
What a change it was being told that I was hunk.
After years of being humiliated in
school, I finally found myself being
adored by Filipinas !!! Not just loved -
lusted after. I could be sweet, and
would get love back. Gone were the days
of being punched for being a prosocial person.
Western high schools reward mentally ill idiots who while
ignoring
prosocial go-getters who will actually
make a difference in this world.
My
unhappiness became a distant memory...now I am loved, cared for,
listened
to.....Filipina girls respect my character.
They respect the fact that I am not just lusting and gambling my
life
away. I got Filipina girls telling me I am so handsome.
In fact, my Filipina girlfriend's friends all
send her messags telling her that she is so lucky to have me, and one
even
asked whether it would be possible to marry my dad (she assumed my dad
must be
similar to me).
More
than anything, I feel vindicated. I know
that really, it isn't me. I am normal;
it was the people around me who were mentally ill.
One
could write an essay over one hundred pages long about the benefits of
having a
Filipina girlfriend. Most men appeciate the care, the devotion to
family, as
well as general sexiness of Filipinas as the main reasons for choosing
one.
Also, many of them have been severely hurt from a previous relationship
with a
Westernized lady, and are determined to find someone who will never
hurt them
again.
For me,
the best thing about having a Filipina girlfriend is that I am able to
show
love, care, and affection and be accepted and loved in return. Growing
up, I
was constantly told that I need to "man up" and "be more
aggressive." In Western culture, men are taught to get what they want
by
fighting for it. You need to stomp on someone else's head so they won't
stomp
on your head. I was told that I was not aggressive enough, and that I
needed to
be a jerk to women. Men told me that I needed to treat my girlfriend
like she
was a dog and make her beg for a treat. I needed to be the prize.
For a
while I actually (regretably) believed that crap. But I quickly
realized the
nonsense for what it was. My heart changed, and then I met Mahal. I
know I can
be sweet and caring, and not have to worry about her treating me like a
doormat. Westernized women often think that being nice means being
weak. In
Filipina culture, being nice is returned with kindness, and perhaps a
bit of
sex too.
When I
am with Mahal, I feel like I can be myself. I don't have to walk around
all
"macho" (whatever that is supposed to mean). I can share my weaknesses,
and we can laugh at each other in a supporting way. I have finally
realized
that it really isn't me that is wrong; for so long I had been with
mentally ill
people who viewed prosocial people as a weakness. You can't blame a
Palm Tree
for not growing in
For the
first time in my life, I have felt unconditional love and acceptance
being with
Mahal.
To be
with someone who values me so much brings out the best in me. I want to
be the
best lover, the best husband, the best father, and the best servant in
her
church. I don't have to fear that my efforts will be replied with
insult. I can
serve her, cuddle her, listen to her, and support her, and not fear
rejection.
She is the best lady, so I want to be the best lover I possibly can be
for her.
I wish
all men still looking for their Filipina love lots of good luck
!!!!”
The pros and cons of Filipino characteristics
Here are
some fascinating observations of the
Philippines based on my experiences as well as those of other
intellectual
expats and foreigners here.
-
It’s a culture of denial. When lies
or dark secrets are discovered,
they simply act as though it doesn’t exist.
For instance, when you catch a Filipino or Filipina in a lie,
they don’t
try to explain it, acknowledge it, or even apologize for it. They simply act like it doesn’t exist
and
refuse to discuss it. Likewise, when you
ask them to reconcile a contradiction or discrepancy in their story,
they often
don’t bother and if you insist on it, demanding “Just tell
me the truth!” it
usually falls on deaf ears. Or when you
catch them in an embarrassing blunder, such as when a store clerk tells
you “We
don’t have that, sir” and then two seconds later you see it
behind them and
point to it saying “Well isn’t that it?” (which
happens very often here), they
don’t apologize or acknowledge their error.
And if you then ask “Why did you tell me you didn’t
have it when you
did?” to try to force them to acknowledge their mistake, it will
certainly fall
on deaf ears, no matter how many times you repeat the question. It’s their way of “saving
face”.
- They
don’t even like saying “I don’t know” in
response to a question. In fact often
they’d rather give you the WRONG directions, wasting your time,
energy and
money, rather than tell you “I don’t know” when asked
for directions. Obviously, they are not
taught that “honesty
is the best policy”. And this
applies to
even good well-meaning people here. It’s
definitely a country where perfectionists who demand exact answers and
information will get frustrated and annoyed often.
Logic doesn’t even seem to exist here, and
isn’t even used in their vocabulary. Every
single foreigner I’ve talked to who has been here for a long time
agrees with
this and reports similar experiences.
Some even say they can write volumes on such experiences and
even more
bizarre ones.
- One
refreshing thing I’ve noticed is that they do
not generally judge, analyze, criticize, compare, or complain. It’s not in their nature to do so. And that’s nice in the sense that they
aren’t
usually going to judge or criticize you.
But on the flip side, this also means that they also lack the
ability to
analyze, think and reason as we understand it, so communication with
them can
often be frustrating. And giving them
lectures in logic or on being fair and considerate by Western
standards, often
feels futile. They aren’t as exacting as we are. In fact, asking
them for
explanations often results in silence as if they don’t hear you
or their brain
stalls. It’s as if asking for explanations “freezes
up” their mind. They simply
don’t like to think of
“explanations” or “reasons” or even to question
things. It’s definitely not an
“intellectual culture”
or even an organized one. Since they do not generally complain here (at
least
the way Americans do), services and processes don’t usually
improve. It’s a non-confrontational
culture.
However,
all this is also beneficial and therapeutic
in the sense that no one is labeled a “misfit” or
“weirdo”, or told that they
are “unusual” or “different” or that
“there is something wrong with you”. Hence,
misfits and freaks from other
societies will feel like they finally “fit in” here,
accepted and very much at
home.
Whereas
Western countries are advanced economically,
the Philippines is much more advanced socially.
Although its economic infrastructure is weak in comparison,
socially it
is far more evolved, advanced and more integrated than in the West. No one is perpetually lonely, friendless or
dateless here. No one is really isolated
and families always help each other.
There isn’t the concept of “individualism”
that isolates people and
separates them like in the States, and hence there is little
individuality
among people here. People remain calm,
easy-going, cheerful and pleasant in stressful situations, when things
go
wrong, and even while driving through heavy traffic on the streets. Rarely does anyone ever lose their cool. Depression, mental illness, and suicide are
unheard of here and almost nonexistent.
No one has to go to a psychiatrist or therapist.
Finding someone here who has been to a
therapist is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Now, CONTRAST that to America, where nearly
HALF the population have been in therapy at some point during their
lives! Somehow, people seem to be able to
maintain
this inner state of balance, “Zen state”, psychological
harmony, or whatever
you want to call it.
Thus, as
in all things, there are pros and cons to the
Filipino ways, culture, mentality, and behaviors. But
as for me of course, the bottom line is
that my love life here and the women here, are a TRILLION times better
than in
the States. Here I have a CHOICE among
beautiful women, thus giving me a sense of WORTH and VALUE. To men like me, that’s what matters the
most. And that’s why we put up with
all
the annoyances here.
Comments
to this update by
my Expat Advisor, who speaks almost ten languages, including two
Filipino
dialects – Tagalog and Visayan:
- “One more local
trait- they do not like to
apologize, you are supposed to sulk at them for a few hours to a few
weeks
depending on the offence and then you are supposed to forget it as if
nothing
has happened. They will do the same to you. You will be amazed at what
offences
they forgive and forget. When you start mentioning some past
misdemeanors, they
will shrug and say- ‘but it is all in the past’. These past
offenses only
resurface when they are drunk.”
- “Another trait of
Filipinos is to live in today
and to see enjoyment in very simple things. And if you learn the
language you will
see that every word sounds like a piano note and every phrase like a
musical
chord. So, their life is overflowing with meaning, beauty and
significance that
few foreigners can see.”
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