              |
HAPPIER ABROAD Why You Can Have A Better Life
and Love Beyond
Unapproachable force field/bubble vs. giggle/blush
(visual proof)
"I blamed myself for my lack of success with
American women. So, I worked hard for many years to improve myself... and I was
still getting rejected by women who had no business being picky!... So then I
did some traveling to
Nowadays, US women project a
very strong anti-stranger, unapproachable force field/bubble around them
that says, "Don't mess with me. I'm unapproachable. I don't
talk to strangers. If I don't know you, you have no business talking to
me unless you are lost and need directions. (Unless of course, you are or look
like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.)"
In the
This "force field"
or “bubble” I describe emanates from the attitude, separatist ego and mentality
of young American women, and is definitely real. I can more than attest
to it, for I have felt its presence strongly and experienced it thousands of
times I've approached and talked to American women. And in fact, it’s the
first thing I notice at the airport whenever I return to the
For example, try walking in a
public place or mall where scores of attractive women hang out at. When
you say hi to them, most don’t even acknowledge your existence. Those
that do will only smile back half-heartedly before moving on to mind their own
business. And if you try to make conversation with them, they get
defensive and quickly withdraw away. (Incidentally, I’ve challenged those
who claim that American women are approachable to do this, but they all failed
and chickened out. They were just all talk.) The ones that work
there will give you a professional “Hi how can I help you?” of course, but
that’s their job.
US women are not comfortable
meeting people, and if they have to do so, then they humor them with fake
contrived greetings. They prefer to ignore your existence if they don’t
know you and you’re not in their clique. The only folks who try to deny
it are the politically correct, narrow-minded, reality deniers and feminists
who hate men. Anti-social people themselves also notice nothing wrong
(since anti-social people consider other anti-social people to be
normal).
Besides me, many others have
felt it as well. For instance:
“The
invisible wall you described does exist. I felt it many times. With me, when I
used to go out more, I would usually just be looking for some intelligent
conversation. Sex sometime too. I find woman, yes even American woman, to be
alot more interesting than American men. But approaching a woman with that
"F*** You" look on her face, I 'm sure you know the one I'm talking
about, is hard. So I wait for them to approach me. It has happened, just not as
much as I like.”
And this person put it
vehemently:
“I
recently found your website and agree with everything you have said.
American women are the most spoiled, unfriendly, unapproachable and anti-social
women in the world! I live in the
This French speaking student
lamented his surprise at how unapproachable American females are:
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7285
“Hello folks sorry my accent I primarily speak French (24 y guy )... I am a finance student and I have
been studying here since 2006. I just want to say hello and join the club and make a short comment
concerning the
And undoubtedly, the US media’s
propensity to make people live in fear is a factor too, as this reader
explains:
“American culture is in reality dictated by the media. If you look
at other cultures, let's say Canadian and Dutch, their media doesn't feed fear
into the minds of their residents. Americans are deep down scared of too many
things. The movie "Bowling for Columbine" was very accurate.”
On the other hand, in the
rest of the world, women are flattered and sweet when you approach them,
whether they are interested or not, whether they are available or not.
For example, women in
In many foreign countries,
when you approach or chat up girls, they don’t get offended or see it as
creepish, but are often flattered and see it as sweet, giggling or blushing
in the process (how many American women nowadays blush or giggle?). It’s
a total refreshing contrast. That’s how “real women” are, and it’s truly
feminine. Thus you feel more confident and relaxed about meeting women,
since it’s far more natural to do so. Basically, a guy is more allowed to
be himself abroad, rather than suppress who he is.
And it's not because they all
want your money either (although there are always a portion of bad apples,
scammers, and hustlers that you can run into). For a list of reasons why,
see the chapter entitled “Aren’t
foreign women just after your money and a green card?” (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page74.htm)
Getting dates outside the
In
“Mojno s vami poznakomitsa? - usually does it! Very
direct and simple!!! dont have to "game" chicks in
When picking up chicks in
Later on, he reiterated:
“Right
on Winston. I met this Super from
zdravstvuite, mojno s vami poznakomitsa! is all you need!!.... cause thats how
simple life should be, a man wants to meet a woman, and there is NOTHING wrong
about it...
:)”
My pickup line in Russian
though, is “Moznah vstretumsen?” for “Can we meet?”
In
But with American women, you
have to play games, be indirect, and often not even that works. For
example, see this example of how complicated dating advice is in
http://www.digihitch.com/ftopicp-31831.html#31831
“Seeker, Tips:
* A non-straight answer means the girl isn't interested.
* Don't listen to your friends: NEVER tell a girl you want to get involved with
"I like you" "I'm interested in you" or anything like that.
That's for -after- the relationship is established. If you say this before she
likes you, she will get the "ICK" factor, and you have LOST your
chances with her. If she -already- likes you, these may work, but then again,
she'll get involved with you no matter what you say if she already likes you.
Along the same line is "Would you like to go out with me sometime?"
NEVER ask this, or make reference to "going out with you" under any
circumstances!
* Be VERY skeptical of advice that women give you about what women want. They
mean well, they even believe what they say. But they are wrong. Following a
woman's advice when you are pursuing another women WILL make you lose your
chance. Try an experiment. Ask for love advice from one of your female friends
about "another female friend you like." Use that love advice on the
same friend. See how quickly both chances of love AND friendship vanish into
thin air!”
This forum poster put the
dysfunctional crazy dating scene in
http://brown.dailyjolt.com/forum/read.html?id=531250&PHPSESSID=4f69c4a88e49c6294892aa0fc84ee6ca
“That's
because American girls are really psychologically fucked in the head.
If
you approach an American girl and are nice to her, you are a
"stalker" or a "loser." In addition, Asian guys can't get
white girls because they're viewed as subhuman by most white girls. Asian girls
drool over white guys. What is an Asian guy to do?
As
a general rule, for an American girl, if you treat her like shit, demean and
ignore her, she loves it and can't get enough. She will become totally
self-destructively obsessed with pleasing you and will eventually lose herself
in the drama that you have to create for her to actually be interested in you.
This is unhealthy, but it's the only way to really get laid here.
In
other countries the more intuitive phenomenon of "If I am nice to you, you
will be nice to me" actually applies. So you don't have to go against your
morals in order to hook up with a girl or keep a girlfriend.
My
two cents!”
Even good looking attractive
guys have the same complaint, as this one admitted (I know he’s good looking
cause I’ve seen his picture by the way):
“Thanks, but I have many of the same complaints as you do, seriously. You have to play games with girls in the states and they are spoiled and bratty and controlling and manipulative and have double-standards...they are mostly bitches in a word.”
As one reader observed, why bother with all that when
in
“…….
I agree with you that it is a shame that a guy has to go to all that trouble
exploiting the intricacies of social dynamics to get an attractive girl's
attention and interest. From what I've read, European girls seem to have
less hang-ups than American girls, and don't need to be approached
indirectly. I would love to skip all that and get to building attraction
rather than breaking her "forcefield" or what I like to call
"bitch-shield". The saying, "Work smarter, not harder
comes to mind". Why work so much harder to achieve the same result,
when you can have a much easier and enjoyable time with women in
This reader below cites the easibility and fluidity of
meeting women in
“I flew to
I go to a French language school and take a
class....I make 20 new friends overnight....I meet my future wife...I get
married and now 2yrs later...im STILL HAPPY!
I dont want to bunch all American girls into one big
lump....BUT -- the majority of them due to culture or something act really
snotty and stupid - like were not GOOD ENOUGH for them....and to be honest and
not toot my horn - i was voted Prom King in highschool...so Id hope to think
that Im not THAT ugly at least...but i swear i went 12yrs in the bay area - and
rarely found a girl who even batted an eye....and quite frankly i started to
lower my own standards lower and lower....and for what? The moment i
traveled anywhere else - i found girls that would SINK any american girl
that ignored me...now i have a wife that turns heads left and right - but she
is staring right into my eyes with love.
Real love!
I think
Some hear about such things from their friends:
(though you won’t hear about it in any public media outside the internet)
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3991
“Dating in
Visual Proof:
Pictures of approachable females faces abroad
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so let
me show you some real life visual examples from out in the field that typify
how girls in non-US environments react to men who are “chatting them up”.
(something vilified by American women). It’s the next best thing to being
abroad in person. These are images of girls I chatted up in public
without having any prior acquaintance. Some are photos and others are
digital stills from my video footage. Notice the attitude on their
faces. There is a natural openness and relaxful look of approachability
without any fear, paranoia or uptightness. As you can see, meeting girls
that you don’t know for the first time in many foreign environments is very
natural and part of the flow, not creepish, out on a limb and against the flow
like in the
First, some images from Russia/Europe.
As you saw in those images from their eyes, gaze, and
expression, they have a relaxed, enthusiastic, curious look about them, even
though I’m a total stranger. And there is an openness to them that is
very rare in the modern US.
Did you notice how unspoiled and modest they look in
their gaze, not just toward me, but in their general aura? They had no pretentious ego shell like
Note: Many of my encounters with the girls above can be seen
on video in my Foreign Female Encounters video series at http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php
Now for examples from
You see how unlike in the
For many more examples, see my Foreign Female Encounters Videos,
which are the closest thing to firsthand: http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php
Now, contrast that with these photos of typical young
American girls. Notice how superficial their smile, eyes and facial
expressions are. There is more of an artificial-ness to them compared to
the foreign girls above.
Below, notice the tough badass looks on the hot
American blonde and brunette that basically says, “We don’t need men and we are
too good for everyone”. Now how feminine is that? Who needs that?!
See the difference? Even friendly girls in the
You might ask why there is such a big
difference. I can only speculate and surmise that the individualistic
values of our nation that create a sense of separateness in the self, coupled
with the modern feminist culture that overempowers women to lose their
femininity and become independent, has caused some type of imbalance that has
changed their human nature. These two factors could very likely produce a
strong but false sense of self and ego, an illusion that American women
overprotect in unnatural ways, such as by emanating this anti-stranger,
unapproachable force field, among other things.
When one discovers that the anxiety-provoking force
field of unapproachable American women is absent in foreign women and
experiences it firsthand, it can have curative effects, as conveyed in this
account:
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1898
“I was very nervous around women, I found it nearly
impossible to engage a woman in a conversation. I was convinced that was the
reason I couldn't get dates. I was angry at myself for not being able to
overcome this, but trying harder only made it worse. I spent a lot of time
thinking about it and went to a doctor and was prescribed anti-anxiety
medications but they didn't really help.
This problem came to an unexpected halt when I traveled
to
When I'm in a country like
When I'm overseas, I don't subconsciously feel like
I'm doing something wrong by flirting with a woman.
What it boils down to, is that foreign women are an
entirely different species than western women. If I had been told 2 years ago
that my love shyness/social anxiety with women could be solved simply by
changing the type of women that I was pursuing, I probably wouldn't have
believed it. It's one of those things you have to experience to fully
understand.”
Such striking differences make me wonder why more
people in the
“Oh, yes, in the
One factor for the "unapproachable force
field" that I feel around American women might be due to an
incompatibility between our soul densities, since not every guy agrees that
American women are unapproachable (but then again some guys are afraid to admit
the truth or are blind to it or too politically correct to acknowledge such
things, and plus some guys don’t believe in approaching women anyway). It
could be that our soul energy or consciousness vibrates at a different
frequency and so our presence around each other feels awkward and approaching
them feels wrong and unnatural. Conversely, this would also explain why I
tend to find women in
If you’re stuck in the
But in the meantime, I hope my visual proof of
approachable faces gallery above has inspired you and awakened you to the
refreshing difference of the dating world beyond
What guys don't
understand about the fear of approaching women
What many guys, especially the ones involved in
the PUA (Pick Up Artist) movement, don't understand about the fear of
approaching women is that the reason they are afraid is not because they lack
guts. It's because they can sense that the girls they want to meet do NOT want
to be approached, so that to do so would be rude and violating. They
subconsciously sense the "do not approach me" shield around them.
You see, everyone has body language and vibes.
We can all sense them, even if we deny that vibes exist as a form of energy.
There is a big difference between a girl who is approachable vs. one who is
not. But this difference can only be described in words to a certain point. It
is mostly felt and sensed by one's natural instincts. You simply "just
know", even without observative physical signs or evidence. Even
left-brained guys who deny that vibes and auras exist as a form of actual
energy can instinctually sense others' vibes, despite their denial.
To try to put into words, an approachable girl
looks at ease, relaxed, open and friendly. It's in her face, body language and
aura too. She makes eye contact with others, smiles back at people, and has an
open body posture. An unapproachable girl, on the other hand, has a closed
narrow vibe and look on her face. She is uptight, serious, focused, does not
make eye contact with others, and has a "don't bother me" look on her
face. When you try to muster the courage to talk to her, you will feel a cold
chill and an alarm will go off in you that says, "DO NOT! NOT ALLOWED!
INAPPROPRIATE!" It has nothing to do with guts or bravery at all. And even
the top PUA gurus can do nothing about it, despite their bogus claims.
Guaranteed.
An adept "people reader" can spot
these differences consciously, while others merely feel them subconsciously.
Either way, one simply knows, even in the absence of physical signs.
So for example, say I'm in the
Now this is not my imagination. In Japanese
culture, people do not talk to strangers unless they are properly introduced by
mutual friends, or it is for business-related purposes. It has nothing to do
with you or whether they like you. It is merely a basic part of their culture.
Almost everyone conforms to it. You can feel it in their "collective
vibes" even. If you try, you will sense an inner alarm that says "NOT
ALLOWED! FORBIDDEN! TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE!" It would feel like you were
about to commit a cardinal sin and violation. You just know this.
In this scenario, it won't matter if you are
the biggest daredevil in the world, or one of the top PUA gurus (e.g. David
DeAngelo, Ross Jeffries, Mystery, etc.). It won't make a difference. Despite
their bogus claims, if put to the test in this situation, the PUA gurus will
undoubtedly fail. I can guarantee that.
If something is inappropriate, you just know
it. You don't have to be told or given physical signs. And it's not your
imagination either. You simply know, even if you are not good at reading others
or have poor people skills.
What this means is that American guys are not
really gutless, as the PUA movement claims. Not at all. They simply live in a
culture where females are paranoid, not approachable, and don't like talking to
strangers. To violate this is inappropriate, so most guys do not dare try.
Yet American pop culture maintains this myth
that girls are very open and friendly in
This misconception is then capitalized on by
the PUA movement and their gurus, who have a vested financial interest in
selling expensive seminars and courses to these "average frustrated chumps
(AFC's)" as they put it, to help them overcome their fears, which further
perpetuates this myth. But it ends up being just a bunch of pep talk with
little or no result.
In reality, it is extremely rare to change the
mind of a girl who doesn't want to meet you by using some kind of "PUA
technique", and even in such cases, the girl is likely to be mentally
unstable or erratic.
Anyone can make bogus claims or brag. But to
prove them is another matter. Reality is reality. And bogus claims usually fail
when put to the test. I've seen it time and time again. A lot of guys who claim
they can pick up girls in places where they are not approachable, end up
chickening out or making excuses when put to the actual test. Even if it were
possible, it would happen occasionally, not on an everyday anytime basis.
Of course, your looks matter. Some girls only
want to be approached by guys that are "their type". These girls are
"conditionally approachable" and you can also recognize them by their
"don't approach me unless you're hot" vibe as well.
Now, suppose you are a very good looking white
guy in
So the lesson here is that approachability of
women depends on the situation, location, culture and type of woman. It's not
about guts or technique. You simply have to utilize those factors to the best
of your advantage.
Now if you are in a culture where it is not
appropriate to approach girls coldly, you can still meet them through
introductions, parties or other social events. Those would be the socially
acceptable venues in that case. But at that point, you would have to evaluate your
desirability and eligibility to the females there. You’d have to gauge whether
you are seen by a reasonable percentage of females there as the type they would
be willing to date.
Here is why this matters:
Take the example of a typical Asian male in
Now in the earlier scenario of the good looking
white guy in
So you see, your desirability and eligibility
is another important consideration you would have to factor in.
This will matter even if you are in a culture
where the women are very approachable. For example, if the typical Asian male
above goes to
So, even in a super approachable culture like
There are always exceptions of course, but
that’s how it generally is.
In any case, it doesn't hurt to try to develop
your people reading skills, so you can size up people and situations quickly and
accurately. If you are strongly left brained or practical, focus on utilizing
the skills of your right brain so that you can function with whole brain
holistic thinking. Being able to connect the dots and understand others
requires the abilities of your right brain, not just your left. So don't
neglect it.
That is my suggestion. Good luck!
Discuss this article in this forum thread: http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7033
Thank
you for previewing the Happier Abroad Ebook. Get the FULL version now for
only $14.99!
Or
Get the Package Deal -
Best Value! Only $24.99. Comes with the additional 3 Ebooks below:
1) The Happier Abroad Guide to
International and Global Dating – A step-by-step guide that covers
planning, preparation, decision-making, factors to consider, choosing the right
country, cultural compatibility, meeting and dating foreign women, making a living overseas, adapting to different cultures,
etc.
2) Winston's Guide to Traveling and Dating in Russia For
Men – Everything I know about traveling and dating in Russia from my 3
years of firsthand experience is contained here in this informative how-to
guide, including how to get around, communication, basic necessities, dealing
with obstacles, short cuts, tips and tricks, important contact info, and
other great advice.
3) Expatriate Insights – By my Expat Advisor
Ladislav, aka “The Obi Wan Kenobi of Expatriate Life”. Truthful insights on
Expatriate Living, Cross-Cultural Relations and Deep Comparative Culture
Analyses that will take your understanding to the advanced level. It is
unrivaled in scope and depth. Click here
to sample Ladislav’s writings in his Blog.
Order
the Package Deal Now! Add to Cart
Previous Page Back to Table of Contents Next Page