You Can Have A Better Life
and Love Beyond
Approachable Faces of Foreign Women (Visual Proof)
"I blamed myself for my lack of success
American women. So, I worked hard for many years to improve myself...
and I was
still getting rejected by women who had no business being picky!... So
did some traveling to
Nowadays, US women project a very strong anti-stranger, unapproachable force field/bubble around them that says, "Don't mess with me. I'm unapproachable. I don't talk to strangers. If I don't know you, you have no business talking to me unless you are lost and need directions. (Unless of course, you are or look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.)"
This "force field"
or “bubble” I describe emanates from the attitude,
separatist ego and mentality
of young American women, and is definitely real. I can more than
to it, for I have felt its presence strongly and experienced it
times I've approached and talked to American women. And in fact,
first thing I notice at the airport whenever I return to the
For example, try walking in a public place or mall where scores of attractive women hang out at. When you say hi to them, most don’t even acknowledge your existence. Those that do will only smile back half-heartedly before moving on to mind their own business. And if you try to make conversation with them, they get defensive and quickly withdraw away. (Incidentally, I’ve challenged those who claim that American women are approachable to do this, but they all failed and chickened out. They were just all talk.) The ones that work there will give you a professional “Hi how can I help you?” of course, but that’s their job.
US women are not comfortable meeting people, and if they have to do so, then they humor them with fake contrived greetings. They prefer to ignore your existence if they don’t know you and you’re not in their clique. The only folks who try to deny it are the politically correct, narrow-minded, reality deniers and feminists who hate men. Anti-social people themselves also notice nothing wrong (since anti-social people consider other anti-social people to be normal).
Besides me, many others have felt it as well. For instance:
“The invisible wall you described does exist. I felt it many times. With me, when I used to go out more, I would usually just be looking for some intelligent conversation. Sex sometime too. I find woman, yes even American woman, to be alot more interesting than American men. But approaching a woman with that "F*** You" look on her face, I 'm sure you know the one I'm talking about, is hard. So I wait for them to approach me. It has happened, just not as much as I like.”
And this person put it vehemently:
recently found your website and agree with everything you have
American women are the most spoiled, unfriendly, unapproachable and
women in the world! I live in the
This French speaking student lamented his surprise at how unapproachable American females are:
“Hello folks sorry my accent I
primarily speak French (24 y guy )... I am a
finance student and I have
been studying here since 2006. I just want to say hello and join the club and make a short
And undoubtedly, the US media’s propensity to make people live in fear is a factor too, as this reader explains:
“American culture is in reality dictated by the media. If you look at other cultures, let's say Canadian and Dutch, their media doesn't feed fear into the minds of their residents. Americans are deep down scared of too many things. The movie "Bowling for Columbine" was very accurate.”
On the other hand,
rest of the world, women are flattered and sweet when you approach
whether they are interested or not, whether they are available or
For example, women in
In many foreign countries, when you approach or chat up girls, they don’t get offended or see it as creepish, but are often flattered and see it as sweet, giggling or blushing in the process (how many American women nowadays blush or giggle?). It’s a total refreshing contrast. That’s how “real women” are, and it’s truly feminine. Thus you feel more confident and relaxed about meeting women, since it’s far more natural to do so. Basically, a guy is more allowed to be himself abroad, rather than suppress who he is.
And it's not because they all want your money either (although there are always a portion of bad apples, scammers, and hustlers that you can run into). For a list of reasons why, see the chapter entitled “Aren’t foreign women just after your money and a green card?” (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page74.htm)
“Mojno s vami poznakomitsa? - usually does
direct and simple!!! dont have to "game" chicks in
When picking up chicks in
Later on, he reiterated:
on Winston. I met this Super from
zdravstvuite, mojno s vami poznakomitsa! is all you need!!.... cause thats how simple life should be, a man wants to meet a woman, and there is NOTHING wrong about it...
My pickup line in Russian though, is “Moznah vstretumsen?” for “Can we meet?”
But with American
have to play games, be indirect, and often not even that works.
example, see this example of how complicated dating advice is in
* A non-straight answer means the girl isn't interested.
* Don't listen to your friends: NEVER tell a girl you want to get involved with "I like you" "I'm interested in you" or anything like that. That's for -after- the relationship is established. If you say this before she likes you, she will get the "ICK" factor, and you have LOST your chances with her. If she -already- likes you, these may work, but then again, she'll get involved with you no matter what you say if she already likes you. Along the same line is "Would you like to go out with me sometime?" NEVER ask this, or make reference to "going out with you" under any circumstances!
* Be VERY skeptical of advice that women give you about what women want. They mean well, they even believe what they say. But they are wrong. Following a woman's advice when you are pursuing another women WILL make you lose your chance. Try an experiment. Ask for love advice from one of your female friends about "another female friend you like." Use that love advice on the same friend. See how quickly both chances of love AND friendship vanish into thin air!”
This forum poster
dysfunctional crazy dating scene in
“That's because American girls are really psychologically fucked in the head.
If you approach an American girl and are nice to her, you are a "stalker" or a "loser." In addition, Asian guys can't get white girls because they're viewed as subhuman by most white girls. Asian girls drool over white guys. What is an Asian guy to do?
As a general rule, for an American girl, if you treat her like shit, demean and ignore her, she loves it and can't get enough. She will become totally self-destructively obsessed with pleasing you and will eventually lose herself in the drama that you have to create for her to actually be interested in you. This is unhealthy, but it's the only way to really get laid here.
In other countries the more intuitive phenomenon of "If I am nice to you, you will be nice to me" actually applies. So you don't have to go against your morals in order to hook up with a girl or keep a girlfriend.
My two cents!”
Even good looking attractive guys have the same complaint, as this one admitted (I know he’s good looking cause I’ve seen his picture by the way):
“Thanks, but I have many of the same complaints as you do, seriously. You have to play games with girls in the states and they are spoiled and bratty and controlling and manipulative and have double-standards...they are mostly bitches in a word.”
reader observed, why bother with all that when
I agree with you that it is a shame that a guy has to go to all that
exploiting the intricacies of social dynamics to get an attractive
attention and interest. From what I've read, European girls seem
less hang-ups than American girls, and don't need to be approached
indirectly. I would love to skip all that and get to building
rather than breaking her "forcefield" or what I like to call
"bitch-shield". The saying, "Work smarter, not harder
comes to mind". Why work so much harder to achieve the same
when you can have a much easier and enjoyable time with women in
reader below cites the easibility and fluidity of
meeting women in
“I flew to
I go to a French language school and take a class....I make 20 new friends overnight....I meet my future wife...I get married and now 2yrs later...im STILL HAPPY!
I dont want to bunch all American girls into one big lump....BUT -- the majority of them due to culture or something act really snotty and stupid - like were not GOOD ENOUGH for them....and to be honest and not toot my horn - i was voted Prom King in highschool...so Id hope to think that Im not THAT ugly at least...but i swear i went 12yrs in the bay area - and rarely found a girl who even batted an eye....and quite frankly i started to lower my own standards lower and lower....and for what? The moment i traveled anywhere else - i found girls that would SINK any american girl that ignored me...now i have a wife that turns heads left and right - but she is staring right into my eyes with love.
Some hear about such things from their friends: (though you won’t hear about it in any public media outside the internet)
They say a
picture is worth a thousand words, so let
me show you some real life visual examples from out in the field that
how girls in non-US environments react to men who are “chatting
(something vilified by American women). It’s the next best
thing to being
abroad in person. These are images of girls I chatted up in
without having any prior acquaintance. Some are photos and others
digital stills from my video footage. Notice the attitude on
faces. There is a natural openness and relaxful look of
without any fear, paranoia or uptightness. As you can see,
that you don’t know for the first time in many foreign
environments is very
natural and part of the flow, not creepish, out on a limb and against
like in the
First, some images from Russia/Europe.
As you saw in those images from their eyes, gaze, and expression, they have a relaxed, enthusiastic, curious look about them, even though I’m a total stranger. And there is an openness to them that is very rare in the modern US.
notice how unspoiled and modest they look in
their gaze, not just toward me, but in their general aura?
They had no pretentious ego shell like
Note: Many of my encounters with the girls above can be seen on video in my Foreign Female Encounters video series at http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php
how unlike in the
Now, contrast that with these photos of typical young American girls. Notice how superficial their smile, eyes and facial expressions are. There is more of an artificial-ness to them compared to the foreign girls above.
Below, notice the tough badass looks on the hot American blonde and brunette that basically says, “We don’t need men and we are too good for everyone”. Now how feminine is that? Who needs that?!
difference? Even friendly girls in the
You might ask why there is such a big difference. I can only speculate and surmise that the individualistic values of our nation that create a sense of separateness in the self, coupled with the modern feminist culture that overempowers women to lose their femininity and become independent, has caused some type of imbalance that has changed their human nature. These two factors could very likely produce a strong but false sense of self and ego, an illusion that American women overprotect in unnatural ways, such as by emanating this anti-stranger, unapproachable force field, among other things.
When one discovers that the anxiety-provoking force field of unapproachable American women is absent in foreign women and experiences it firsthand, it can have curative effects, as conveyed in this account:
“I was very nervous around women, I found it nearly impossible to engage a woman in a conversation. I was convinced that was the reason I couldn't get dates. I was angry at myself for not being able to overcome this, but trying harder only made it worse. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and went to a doctor and was prescribed anti-anxiety medications but they didn't really help.
This problem came to an unexpected halt
when I traveled
When I'm in a country like
When I'm overseas, I don't subconsciously feel like I'm doing something wrong by flirting with a woman.
What it boils down to, is that foreign women are an entirely different species than western women. If I had been told 2 years ago that my love shyness/social anxiety with women could be solved simply by changing the type of women that I was pursuing, I probably wouldn't have believed it. It's one of those things you have to experience to fully understand.”
striking differences make me wonder why more
people in the
“Oh, yes, in the
for the "unapproachable force
field" that I feel around American women might be due to an
incompatibility between our soul densities, since not every guy agrees
American women are unapproachable (but then again some guys are afraid
the truth or are blind to it or too politically correct to acknowledge
things, and plus some guys don’t believe in approaching women
could be that our soul energy or consciousness vibrates at a different
frequency and so our presence around each other feels awkward and
them feels wrong and unnatural. Conversely, this would also
explain why I
tend to find women in
you’re stuck in the
But in the
meantime, I hope my visual proof of
approachable faces gallery above has inspired you and awakened you to
refreshing difference of the dating world beyond
What many guys, especially the ones involved in the PUA (Pick Up Artist) movement, don't understand about the fear of approaching women is that the reason they are afraid is not because they lack guts. It's because they can sense that the girls they want to meet do NOT want to be approached, so that to do so would be rude and violating. They subconsciously sense the "do not approach me" shield around them.
You see, everyone has body language and vibes. We can all sense them, even if we deny that vibes exist as a form of energy. There is a big difference between a girl who is approachable vs. one who is not. But this difference can only be described in words to a certain point. It is mostly felt and sensed by one's natural instincts. You simply "just know", even without observative physical signs or evidence. Even left-brained guys who deny that vibes and auras exist as a form of actual energy can instinctually sense others' vibes, despite their denial.
To try to put into words, an approachable girl looks at ease, relaxed, open and friendly. It's in her face, body language and aura too. She makes eye contact with others, smiles back at people, and has an open body posture. An unapproachable girl, on the other hand, has a closed narrow vibe and look on her face. She is uptight, serious, focused, does not make eye contact with others, and has a "don't bother me" look on her face. When you try to muster the courage to talk to her, you will feel a cold chill and an alarm will go off in you that says, "DO NOT! NOT ALLOWED! INAPPROPRIATE!" It has nothing to do with guts or bravery at all. And even the top PUA gurus can do nothing about it, despite their bogus claims. Guaranteed.
An adept "people reader" can spot these differences consciously, while others merely feel them subconsciously. Either way, one simply knows, even in the absence of physical signs.
example, say I'm in the
Now this is not my imagination. In Japanese culture, people do not talk to strangers unless they are properly introduced by mutual friends, or it is for business-related purposes. It has nothing to do with you or whether they like you. It is merely a basic part of their culture. Almost everyone conforms to it. You can feel it in their "collective vibes" even. If you try, you will sense an inner alarm that says "NOT ALLOWED! FORBIDDEN! TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE!" It would feel like you were about to commit a cardinal sin and violation. You just know this.
In this scenario, it won't matter if you are the biggest daredevil in the world, or one of the top PUA gurus (e.g. David DeAngelo, Ross Jeffries, Mystery, etc.). It won't make a difference. Despite their bogus claims, if put to the test in this situation, the PUA gurus will undoubtedly fail. I can guarantee that.
If something is inappropriate, you just know it. You don't have to be told or given physical signs. And it's not your imagination either. You simply know, even if you are not good at reading others.
What this means is that American guys are not really gutless, as the PUA movement claims. Not at all. They simply live in a culture where females are paranoid, not approachable, and don't like talking to strangers. To violate this is inappropriate, so most guys do not dare try.
American pop culture maintains this myth
that girls are very open and friendly in
This misconception is then capitalized on by the PUA movement and their gurus, who have a vested financial interest in selling expensive seminars and courses to these "average frustrated chumps (AFC's)" as they put it, to help them overcome their fears, which further perpetuates this myth. But it ends up being just a bunch of pep talk with little or no result.
In reality, it is extremely rare to change the mind of a girl who doesn't want to meet you by using some kind of "PUA technique", and even in such cases, the girl is likely to be mentally unstable or erratic.
Anyone can make bogus claims or brag. But to prove them is another matter. And bogus claims usually fail when put to the test. I've seen it time and time again. A lot of guys who claim they can pick up girls in places where they are not approachable, end up chickening out or making excuses when put to the actual test. Even if it were possible, it would happen occasionally, not on an everyday anytime basis.
Of course, your looks matter. Some girls only want to be approached by guys that are "their type". These girls are "conditionally approachable" and you can also recognize them by their "don't approach me unless you're hot" vibe as well.
suppose you are a very good looking white
So the lesson here is that approachability of women depends on the situation, location, culture and type of woman. It's not about guts or technique. You simply have to utilize those factors to your best advantage.
Now if you are in a culture where it is not appropriate to approach girls coldly, you can still meet them through introductions, parties or other social events. Those would be the socially acceptable venues in that case. But at that point, you would have to evaluate your desirability and eligibility to the females there. You’d have to gauge whether you are seen by a reasonable percentage of females there as the type they would be willing to date.
Here is why this matters:
example of a typical Asian male in
Now in the
earlier scenario of the good looking
white guy in
So you see, your desirability and eligibility is another important consideration you would have to factor in.
matter even if you are in a culture
where the women are very approachable. For example, if the typical
above goes to
in a super approachable culture like
There are always exceptions of course, but that’s how it generally is.
In any case, it doesn't hurt to try to develop your people reading skills, so you can size up people and situations quickly and accurately. If you are strongly left brained or practical, focus on utilizing the skills of your right brain so that you can function with whole brain holistic thinking. Being able to connect the dots and understand others requires the abilities of your right brain, not just your left. So don't neglect it.
That is my suggestion. Good luck!
Discuss this article in this forum thread: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7033
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