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HAPPIER
ABROAD Why
You Will Have A Better Love and Life Beyond
FAQ's - Frequently
Asked Questions and Objections
Over the
years, I've received the following common
questions and objections. Here are a list of them and my responses. You may also see the Global
Dating and Living FAQ's in our Online Community. If
you have a
question that is not addressed
here, you may post
it to me in this forum thread.
Index
- Isn’t going abroad
just running away from your problems?
- I want to go abroad but
I don’t have the money or I can’t
leave my job. What can I do?
- I want to live abroad
for the reasons you list. But how will
I make a living there?
- I’m afraid what my
friends and family will think about me
moving or dating abroad. They might be against it and think I’m a
loser.
- Isn’t the reason
people are friendlier to you abroad is
because you are a tourist and novelty to them?
- If social life and
dating are better abroad, then why don’t
we hear about it more? Why isn’t it being publicized more? And
why aren’t more
people going abroad?
- If life is better
abroad, then how come so many foreigners
are trying to get into America?
- Foreign women just want
your money and a green card. You are
a loser who can't get laid so you go abroad to take advantage of women
who are
economically oppressed.
- I’ve lived in
America or visited there. I didn’t
experience what you claim. I met many
wonderful friendly people there.
- You generalize and make
a lot of blanket statements. There are
many exceptions to the broad brush
you paint.
- Perhaps the problem is you. You have a bad attitude and are whiney and that puts women off.
- Your site promotes sex tourism and taking
advantage of economically deprived women.
- Concluding comments
- Global Dating and Living FAQ's
Isn’t
going
abroad just running away from your problems?
Answer:
It depends
on how you want to look at it. But such a
question is usually asked with the assumption that things are the same
everywhere, and that only the person is the problem, not the location,
and
therefore one should stay and tough it out.
But if you
think about it seriously, it makes no
sense. It’s a fear driven response based on an attachment to the
safety and
familiarity of home. If you look at the big picture, you realize that
the world
is a big place with over 200 countries. There is no need to confine
yourself to
one little region, especially if it’s not working out for you.
There are better
markets out there where the supply/demand factors work better in your
favor.
Businesses take advantage of that, so why can’t you?
You know,
I grew up in California, and there, within
its narcissistic and fake culture, people had the assumption that they
were the
center of the world, the hub culture of activity on the globe, and that
if you
weren’t having any fun there, you wouldn’t enjoy it
anywhere else, for
California was as good as it gets. It was a consensus assumption.
Yet once I
left
The moral
of the story is that there is no one place
that is best for everyone and that is “as good as it gets”.
Every culture has
its pros and cons, and people who fit in and those who don’t. You
have to visit
a lot of cultures and places, a wide variety of them, to know where you
fit in
best. That’s how life is. Only you know what’s best for
you, but the only way
you can do that is by following your heart, not doing anything out of
fear, but
out of passion.
The
diversity and complexity of the many cultures
around the globe is beyond your imagination. Don’t let fear and
comfort zones
give you excuses not to go global and multiple your field
exponentially. And
don’t trap yourself in a bubble or isolate yourself.
So
technically, yeah it is “running away” I guess. But
why stay somewhere you’re not happy in the vain hope that things
will turn
around, especially if you’ve done everything you could already?
Why not try
somewhere else that might be better? I mean if a flash flood were
coming your
way, wouldn’t you want to “run away” too?
Plus keep
in mind that many people actually do feel
more at home in other cultures than their own. See my ebook chapter on
“reverse
culture shock” for some examples. So home is not always where you
grew up.
There is no logic in believing that one must stick to where they grew
up when
there are many better options out there.
Start
traveling to cultures that FIT your personality,
where supply and demand work in your favor, and you will overcome your
fears
and start down the path to greater potential. If you aren’t
getting everything
you want in your home region, then you’ve got nothing to lose. If
you haven’t
yet, see my Advisor Ladislav’s inspirational messages about
Global Dating here:
https://www.happierabroad.com/motivation.php
I
want to go
abroad but I don’t have the money or I can’t leave my job.
What can I do?
Answer:
That is a
common scenario, especially among the young.
First, you’ve got to believe in the motto “Where
there’s a will, there’s a
way.” It’s true. If you strongly want something,
you’ll find a way to get it.
If you are
lacking in money, get a temp job, or even
work in fast food if you have to. Western countries pay well, and even
at
minimum wage in America, as long as you live very frugally and cut your
expenses to bare minimum, you can save a couple of hundred dollars per
month.
To fly halfway around the world costs around 800 dollars round trip.
Even after
a few months of working at McDonald’s, you could afford that.
If you
don’t have a job, go to your local temp agency.
Any city in the
You can
also do some work online, through contracting
or freelancing. Here is a list of sites you can find freelancing jobs
on:
http://myseoblog.net/2008/04/07/lists-of-freelance-sites/
You can
even make money
teaching English online! For example:
http://www.verbalplanet.com/teach-english.asp
But you
gotta stick with the plan and not spend every
paycheck you get. And you’ve got to learn to cut a lot of corners
too. Stop
paying rent. Live with your parents if they’ll let you, so you
can save that
money. Try to keep your assets light. Don’t get a new car or
anything that
you’ll have to make payments on. A life of traveling should be
done with the
lightest load possible. Save at least a few thousand dollars first for
your
first trip abroad after you’ve researched the world and decided
where you’d
like to go. You will get a feel or instinct for where your journey
lies. As Ben
Kenobi said to Luke Skywalker, “Trust your feelings”.
If you are
already working in a long term stable job,
then you are simply a slave. If going abroad for happiness and a better
love
life is really important to you, you’ve got to make sacrifices
and change your
lifestyle. At first, you can use your vacation time from work to go
abroad and
experience it or scout it out. You may only get 2 weeks a year off, but
it’s
better than nothing. Then when the time is right, quit. You will know
when the
time is right, cause you will feel it. Your intuition and heart knows
what you
really want. Trust it and follow it. Your corporate self created by
society is
a fake pseudo-self. It’s not the real you. Don’t hold it as
anything sacred.
Besides,
you can always get a job abroad if you want.
Being happy and fulfilled is the most important thing. Being a slave
only makes
those at the top richer. It’s not in your best interest.
Try to
save up as much money as possible, at least
$10,000 (but it depends on which country you’re going to) in
disposable income
if you’re going to move overseas, or less if you’re just
traveling, but it
depends on the length of your trip.
I
want to
live abroad for the reasons you list. But how will I make a living
there?
Answer:
That’s
an important practical concern of course. Again,
as in the previous answer, the same motto applies “Where
there’s a will,
there’s a way.”
Many
expats find ways to make a living overseas,
through a variety of means. Even the dumb ones can do it, if they
really want
to. So why can’t you? It’s not as difficult as you think.
It’s the fear in your
mind that’s the biggest obstacle.
List your
skills and what you have to offer. Create a
nice resume of them if you haven’t yet.
Then do
some research on the job market in your
country of interest. Go to various Expat forums and ask around about
finding
work in your country of interest (See a list of them under Expat Links
on my
site or visit these: http://transitionsabroad.com/listings/living/resources/expatriatewebsites.shtml).
Network with other expats, especially the ones that live in the country
you’re
going to, while you’re at home. The more people you correspond
with, the more
leads you will get, which will result in more opportunities. Sure there
are
jobs advertised online that you can Google up too, by typing in
“Jobs in (name
of your target country)” in Google. But most jobs are not
advertised. They are
promoted from within or networked through referrals. That’s why
it’s important
to network, get as many acquaintances as possible in the field or
culture you
want to move to. Ask a lot of questions, so you can find out stuff.
At the
very least, you can teach English there (unless
English is the primary language of the country you’re going to)
to get by. If
you go that route, you can get all the info you need on where to apply
and what
the conditions are, at www.eslcafe.com
Wherever
you’re going to, there is a
If you
would like to work for a
If you
have some capital to invest, you can also start
a business overseas. But that is a risky venture (especially in corrupt
third
world countries) and you’d better know what you’re doing
and consult with other
Expats there who are running their own businesses first, about the
pitfalls of
that endeavor.
If you
plan to work for a foreign company in that
country, you usually cannot apply without being in that country, so you
will
have to wait til you arrive first. However, most foreign companies
prefer to
hire local people, not foreigners. It is cheaper for them and they do
not want
the hassle of having to get you a work permit too. But it depends on
how badly
they want you and how specialized your skills are.
The ideal
scenario is for you to have some kind of
online business, which will allow you to have a mobile lifestyle. In
addition
to the freelancing site links above, here is a rundown of the ways you
can make
money online:
http://www.doshdosh.com/ways-to-make-money-online/
Anyhow,
keep trying. If you want it badly enough,
you’ll find a way. As they say, follow your path and coincidences
and other
people will help you as you need them. That might sound New Agey, but
it’s
true.
I’m
afraid
what my friends and family will think about me moving or dating abroad.
They might
be against it and think I’m a loser.
Answer:
That’s
another common concern. But you’ve got to ask
yourself, do you exist to please them? Is it worth compromising your
happiness
just to fit in with the hive and please the ignorant? Would you regret
it if
you didn’t follow your heart and take the red pill, just because
you were
worried about what others think? You’ve got to do what’s
best for you. As I
said earlier, you can’t make decisions out of fear, but out of
heart and
passion.
When you
go an unconventional route or lifestyle,
there will always be those who disapprove. People can be highly
judgmental
against things they don’t understand that are outside their box.
Such types
live in fear and ignorance.
If your
friends or family really care about you, they
will stick by your decision to do what’s best for you, even if
they don’t
understand it. They will get used to it and accept it eventually,
especially if
they see that you indeed are happier and have a better life in another
culture.
Maybe then, they will open their minds. Or maybe not. But you’ve
got to do
what’s right.
As
Frederich Nietzsche said:
"The
individual has always had to struggle to keep from being
overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and
sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege
of
owning yourself."
However,
in this case, if you have a better social,
love life and self-esteem abroad, then you certainly won’t be
lonely.
The great
Greek philosopher Plato had a Cave Allegory
in his literature where he described a tribe that spends all day
watching
shadows on the wall lit by candles. They do not bother to turn around
and see
what is making the shadows. Nor do they ascend to the surface to see
the light.
Those who do find the light will not be understood by the tribe that is
living
in ignorance. Instead, they will be ridiculed for going outside the
tribe.
But
nevertheless, it is better to find the light and
see the truth and free your mind. If the tribe continues to live in
ignorance,
that is their problem. You can’t help people who don’t want
to be helped. But
you can become an example to others, as I have, which will serve as an
inspiration
and living proof of the reality outside the tribe matrix.
Isn’t
the
reason people are friendlier to you abroad is because you are a tourist
and
novelty to them?
Answer:
This one
comes up a lot for some reason, especially
from those who never left
Sure it is
true that people will be naturally curious
about foreigners. That is a factor, but not the only one. It does not
account
for all the differences cited here, nor for all my experiences. If it
did, then
I could do the reverse. I could pretend to be an Asian immigrant who
just
arrived in
But is
that the case? HELL NO!
British
and Aussie accents might be more attractive to
American females. But Asian, East Indian or Arab men wouldn’t be
given the time
of day.
This
"everyone is friendlier to tourists"
theory does not explain why American women get creeped when approached,
whereas
European or foreign women don't. Nor does it account for the
general
inclusiveness of people in many other countries and their natural
openness
toward strangers. You see, the foreigners I met were not just more
inclusive
and unparanoid to me, but to each other as well. So
it’s not really about me, but about
them.
Therefore,
I think an even more important question to
ask is: Why aren’t mainstream
Americans
as natural, open and relaxed as Europeans are? Why aren’t
Americans as curious
about foreigners in their country?
So there
is a lot more at work here than just simple
novelty. People and cultures are just different, for whatever reasons.
Some
cultures are more open, social and passionate, while others are more
closed,
cliquish and cold. In most foreign cultures, people act natural and
down to
earth, not fake and pretentious.
The
"foreign hospitality" factor is merely
one among many. It doesn't address the deeper issues or explain why I
tend to
have a much more natural comfort zone with foreigners than with
Americans. And this tends to be true even
with
foreigners within the
If
social
life and dating are better abroad, then why don’t we hear about
it more? Why
isn’t it being publicized more? And why aren’t more people
going abroad?
Answer:
This is a
great question. And it shows that you’re
thinking. I like that. There are many factors at work here.
a) First,
And sadly,
most people do not know how to resist mind
control. They are followers and raised to conform to the hive. It gives
them a
sense of safety and structure, so they don’t have to avoid facing
the emptiness
they have inside them, and the boredom/misery of true freedom. In other
words,
most people believe whatever they are told like automatons and zombies.
So, if
they’ve been indoctrinated that
What this
means is that people don’t want to hear the
truth unless it fits in with their programmed world view. So if many
people go
abroad and find a better life, make better friends and connections, and
get
better dates, and feel better about themselves, then most Americans
don’t want
to hear it. Expats and Global Daters know that, so they are careful who
they
talk to. They know that the mainstream will not understand them, and
that the
The job of
the
Thus, the
reality of a social/dating life being better
outside
b)
It’s also a social taboo to say things like “People
are stuck up and antisocial in my country. But they are friendlier,
more open
and more inclusive abroad.” Criticizing cultures like that or
comparing them is
very taboo, impolite, offensive and politically incorrect. Normal
people just
do not do that openly, not just the corporate media. You just
don’t say things
like that. We are programmed to blame ourselves or improve ourselves,
not to
blame our culture or society.
Saying
taboo things, even if they’re true, draws
condemnation from others. It alienates you and leads to ostracization
from the
rest of the tribe. So most of us don’t do it. The truths and
comparisons
described in my work are thus “silent and forbidden
truths”, the kind you are
not supposed to talk about openly. Such is the sad state of affairs,
when truth
is a censored taboo.
Thus, even
by word of mouth, the truths about the life
outside the
In fact,
even on mainstream Expat sites
(ExpatExchange.com, TransitionsAbroad.com, EasyExpat.com, etc.) you
won’t hear
the kind of truths and cultural comparisons described in Happier
Abroad. Those
sites have to be politically correct for their audience. They will not
help
single men learn how to find love and dating overseas either.
That’s what makes
HappierAbroad.com so unique. It openly discusses the deep taboo truths
and
realities that other sites do not dare to.
c) Expats
tend to be private people who prefer to
remain anonymous and not draw attention to themselves. They do not
publicize
their experiences and stories online usually. And they do not like to
post
their names and pictures online. Most Expat bloggers only write about
trivial
stuff, not deep, intellectual or insightful content. They are not true
freethinkers.
But I am
different than other expats. I enjoy
attention, and as a passionate writer, I like to inspire, help and
liberate
others from misery, suffering and mind control.
I’ve
always felt that my life path was as a truth
seeker and liberator of minds and lives. So in that sense, it’s
my soul and
karmic destiny. I am also not a conformist by nature and not afraid to
go
against the grain or offend the tribe. That is why I am bold enough to
put all
this stuff out there. And I possess insights that allow me to describe
truths
in deeply profound ways.
This
isn’t about being smart or dumb. It’s a matter of
whether you live for the truth or to conform to the tribe out of fear.
Now in
response to your last question, there are many
expats who have left
If life
is better abroad, then how come so many
foreigners are trying to get into
Answer:
Fair
question. I’ve struggled with this one,
and wondered whether the foreigners who have a rosy picture of
I should
clarify some things here.
First, the
people who come to
Money is
not really a natural thing. Nothing
else in nature of the universe, as far as we know, use it. It’s
an artificial
system designed to control, enslave and oppress people. Without it,
they could
not control you. It is the total antithesis of a free society and free
man.
There is nothing spiritual about it at all. This is why I am drawn to
popular
internet films like Zeitgeist Addendum.
But we
still live in a practical world where we
need money. So intellectually I understand that and have to compromise
with the
system, even though my soul hates it. We all hate and love things.
That’s life.
The trick is finding a proper balance between the two.
Second,
the percentage of the rest of the world
that are trying to come to
But of
course, Americans only see the ones
coming in and assume that "everyone" is trying to come. It is as
flawed as a Saudi Arabian thinking that because he/she sees many
Americans
coming to Saudi to make the Pilgrimage to
Third, it
should be noted that a large
percentage of immigrants in
And of
course, see my page containing many immigrants’
feelings and views about coming to
https://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page32.htm
Fourth,
there are increasing numbers of
Americans disillusioned with life in the
The bottom
line is that each place has its
pluses and minuses. We all have our
values and priorities. If you are seeking money, career, and privacy,
then
I never
claimed that everyone thinks and feels
as I do. Some do and some don’t. But the imbalance here is that
you will ONLY
hear about those who fit into
Each
individual has a different chemistry with
each culture. Some like more open cultures, while others prefer more
reserved
ones. As for me, dating, social life,
and feeling special and desired are a high priority. Other cultures
seem to
fulfill those areas for me better than the
Foreign
women
just want your money and a green card. You are a loser who can't get
laid so
you go abroad to take advantage of women who are economically oppressed.
Response:
Sigh. This
is perhaps the most common prejudiced objection
by brainwashed Americans who don’t travel and know little about
other countries.
First, most women in any culture are not looking to leave it. That is
See my 12
point article debunking this common
misconception here.
And see
these excellent points
explaining how
I know that girls in the
What
you’ve gotta understand is that it’s not a simple
case of “these women are friendlier to you cause they are poor
and need your
money.” I mean, yes money is a
factor
here. But what’s being overlooked
here
is that the poor are unspoiled and dependent, so they often have to
cultivate
good inner qualities in their personalities and behaviors to get what
they
need, and to compensate for their lack of material assets, especially
since
they depend on interdependent relations with others.
In other words, they have learned to treat
others nicely to get ahead, whereas Western women do not need to and
can get
away with treating others bad due to their overly high entitlement
status. So that’s another reason why
poor people are
nicer. It’s not cause they only want
your money, it has more to do with their character being developed
differently
than ours.
But even
if those ignorant critics were right that I’m
only desired for money and a green card (which they aren’t),
I’d still continue
doing what I’m doing, cause as long as my needs and desires are
FULFILLED
abroad, that’s the bottom line.
Being used by females is far better than being ignored and out
of the
game completely. At least I’m in the
action, having fun, and getting my choice among beautiful women. And that’s what counts.
Most
people in any foreign country are not trying to
come to
In
addition, most foreign women I meet at first assume
that I am from
Hence,
this copout is invalid. It’s just a
way to try to undermine or
discredit the truth, that US social life and dating for men is one of
the
worst, if not the worst, in the world.
Do these
objectors who use this lame argument really think
that all women who have no ulterior motives naturally become paranoid,
anti-social, stuck up, unapproachable, non-inclusive, and creeped out
when you
flirt with them?! Heaven forbid. They couldn’t be more wrong.
Naturally
feminine women are sweet, friendly, loving
and enjoy being flirted with. Cinderella was like that too. So I think
the real
question is, why aren’t women in the
Now, as to
me being a loser, see these pages of responses
by me and my Advisor:
https://www.happierabroad.com/alternative.php
https://www.happierabroad.com/motivation.php
What is a
loser? There is no objective criteria for
it. It’s a highly subjective and judgmental term based on hate
and ignorance. But
yes, I have been treated like a loser in social/dating situations for
much of
my life in
I am just
a nice decent guy looking for love,
fulfillment and happiness. Why should I put up with anything less,
simply
because I don’t cut it in the insane dysfunctional artificial
society of the
https://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page73.htm
A person
does what he/she has to do. If his/her
needs aren’t fulfilled or met in
one place, why not try other places? If
you were at a store in the mall that didn’t have what you want,
should you stay
and buy something you don’t want, or go to another store to seek
what you want?
As the New
Age Author
I’ve
lived in
My
response:
I can
believe that. I never claimed that all Americans
or all foreigners were a certain way. Experiences are a mystery and one
can
never understand why people have different experiences, even in the
same places.
But
let’s define first what we’re talking about here.
How do you define “friendly”? People have different
standards for what they
consider “friendly”. To some, it means you smile and nod at
strangers as you
pass by, and never see them again. To others, it is just superficial
politeness. That is common in
I know
that might seem like a lot to ask for in a culture
like the
Now, if
you had lots of fun, attention and a great social
life in America, it may be that you 1) were lucky enough to find a
great clique
to break into, 2) were lucky enough to meet great friends who
introduced you to
others, 3) just fit in well with American people and culture (some do),
4) were
part of an organized activity that was social in nature (college, camp,
band,
etc.), or you hung out in groups of travelers with lots of social
connections, or
5) were very attractive to Americans and have a look they desire, hence
your
elevated treatment there.
Or simply
put, you were a cute female that got lots of
attention from lonely emasculated guys trying to kiss butt, which is no
surprise, and so you mean that guys were friendly to you. But if you
were a single
guy like me, you wouldn’t have gotten all that attention and
special treatment,
so how can you relate? But you probably noticed a lot of jealously from
other
American females if you were more attractive or feminine than them. Or
maybe
you didn’t stay long enough in
Whatever
the case, the fact is that many Americans and
foreign immigrants feel the way I do. The massive volume of people that
I’ve
quoted in this book documents that well.
Moreover,
as mentioned in the chapter about
dysfunction in
Just
because you got lucky in
Regardless
of your experience, it doesn’t change the
fact that in US culture, people don’t talk to strangers unless
it’s business
related, and that women are unapproachable, paranoid, non-inclusive,
and think
that men who flirt with them are creeps.
Try approaching them if you’re a guy and you’ll see. Even if you are decent looking, you will
still get a force field if you approach them that tells you that
talking is not
allowed unless you need directions or if it’s business related. In other words, the patterns I describe here
still hold true even if you were lucky to have a great experience.
No guy I
know who argues that Americans are open and inclusive,
has the guts to approach them and prove it. They are all talk and no
action.
Just because they meet a lot of people through their friends, which is
the
“normal way” to meet people in
As for me,
even if I had a lot of connections and
activity in the
You
generalize and make a lot of blanket statements. There
are many exceptions to the broad brush
you paint.
My
response:
First, see
my article refuting such politically
correct objections, at
https://www.happierabroad.com/Politically_Correct_Fanatics.htm
I
do not generalize in the sense that I claim that what I describe is 100
percent. I merely describe general PATTERNS.
Yes we are all individuals but PATTERNS of differences DO EXIST
between
people of different regions, cultures, and groups.
The examples that could be given are
infinite. For instance, if you go to a
sewing class you will notice mostly women and few or no men. That's not generalizing, it's simply a
pattern and reality that anyone can observe or know by common sense. Likewise with yoga classes or psychic
fairs. But if you go to a NASCAR racing
event, you will notice far more men than women.
Again, that's not generalizing, simply a pattern observable by
anyone.
Anyone
who goes into a department clothing store can see that the quantity and
variety
of clothes for women are far greater than for men.
Is that generalizing, or reality? Did
I ever claim that 100 percent of the
clothes in clothing stores are for women, that 100 percent of
Moreover,
things and people are NOT in the same percentages everywhere. For instance, in
PATTERNS
ARE A REALITY.
Why
deny truth in favor of political correctness?
I prefer to live for the truth. I never said that all Americans
or all
foreigners are the same. This book is not about absolutes, but
about
general patterns and tendencies. I’ve
provided much evidence, examples and quotes to illustrate this. A lot of it is just common sense, as in the
common
knowledge that most parents wouldn’t want their kids to get
kidnapped for
instance, which anyone would agree with without asking for statistics
or proof.
Now just
because you find or know some exceptions to
what I claim here, doesn’t debunk the general patterns. For example, just cause you find someone who
is rich and well fed in
Here is
another one:
We know that the
So you
see, there are always exceptions, but they
don’t debunk a general rule, strong pattern, or social custom.
What would
you rather have me do, lie and say that
everything is the same everywhere, that there are no patterns or
percentages of
differences, just so I don’t offend anyone?!
Perhaps
the
problem is you. You have a bad attitude and are whiney and that puts
women off.
My
response:
Judgmental
people are quick to insinuate that the
problem must be me. However, there are
two primary reasons why the problem can’t just be me.
1) I don’t have the dateless life abroad
that I do in
2) In other countries there are not oodles of
dateless men
like there are in
Now I can
understand that a lot of what I write here might
sound negative and whiney. However, when I am constantly socially
isolated,
suffocated, feel weak, vulnerable and lonely, what do you expect? Of course I’m going to seem negative in
a
situation that doesn’t bring out the best in me. You can’t
expect me to be
totally positive under those conditions.
But the
main thing to undersand here is that “whining”
or complaining did not cause my dateless situation in
Put me in
an environment that I like, have a synergy
with, and that brings out the best in me, and I’ll definitely be
exuding
positive vibes. So it’s not like I
project negative vibes everywhere, only in places I don’t jive
with or belong
in. It’s that simple.
LOCATION is the main factor, just as in Real
Estate, and these testimonials prove it:
https://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page74b.htm
However,
pointing to negativity or a bad attitude does
not address the causes, merely the symptoms. I didn’t just come
up out of
nowhere and choose to have a negative attitude so that I’ll have
negative
experiences. It’s never like that, and those who think so imply
backward
causality, that the symptom somehow moves backward in time to create
the
result. It’s utter nonsense.
The truth
is, regardless of my attitude, the patterns
I described in this book are still be the same.
Becoming positive isn’t going to change women
or our paranoid society. And it’s not going to take down the
social boundary
that talking to strangers in public is inappropriate unless it’s
business
related. Those things are part of our
social culture, and have nothing to do with any negative vibes from me.
Having
positive vibes is not going to make American
women see me as dating material. Even
good looking successful guys have made similar complaints as I have
about the
horrible dating scene for men in
Therefore,
accusing me of projecting negative vibes is
irrelevant. Another indisputable
argument is that nearly all American girls I meet online disappear when
they
see my picture, even if it’s a good looking one!
Yet foreign women don’t do that. That’s
a tremendous difference, one that has
nothing to do with my “attitude”. In fact, a lot of
American girls LIKED my
personality and attitude online. But when they saw my picture, they
bolted. So
it was obviously LOOKS, not attitude, that was the factor.
So again,
such arguments fail to look at the big
picture or the root causes. They are
just victim-blaming judgmental copouts to try to dismiss me and others
in my
predicament, motivated by the need to defend the status quo mentality
that
dissidents are to blame, never the system or culture itself.
Your
site
promotes sex tourism and taking advantage of economically deprived
women.
My
response:
This is a
typical feminist response and copout
that avoids the truth of what we are claiming. When they can’t
win on the
arguments and facts, they resort to attacking the messenger. That is
the
hallmark of someone with no ground to stand on and needs to hide from
the
truth.
The fact
is, my site mentions sex very little. Why
do we need to mention it? We are not a porn site nor do we have any
porn
pictures. We focus on dating, supply and demand factors, relationships,
values, attitudes, patterns, love, and fulfillment. These are all mutual relationships where both
parties benefit and get what they want. Sure
the sex
is a part of that, but not the focus of this site.
Sure, some
guys are sex tourists. But that's his business (and hers). No one
else’s. It is a mutual transaction between consenting
adults, so there is nothing ethically wrong with it and no coercion
involved. Everyone is different and derives happiness in different
ways. Some obtain happiness from serving others or giving to others.
Others from taking from others. Some are happy being monks. Others
derive happiness from having sex with bar girls in Thailand every
night. You cannot expect everyone to be the same or live by your
standards. Besides, bar girls are different in foreign countries in
that they
treat men better and put more emotional investment in it (in Southeast
Asia for example), and are not all business like in America. For such
guys, enjoying
bar girls is part of the umbrella of being “Happier
Abroad” that is their
legal and personal right. What business is it of anyone else’s?
You're not going to change people by judging them anyway.
Besides,
there are too many judgmental terms
being thrown around in our society that spin natural things like sex in
an
unnecessarily negative way. This Expat explained to me the relativity
of it all:
“By the way its funny
how some people throw around
the term sex addict. Don't most men love sex? You can say he has a
strong sex
drive, or you can say he is an addict. You can say he is virile, or you
can say
he is a maniac.You can say an older man that likes younger women is
young at
heart, or you can say he is a pervert. Its all how you spin it.”
There is
this feminist cultural myth though,
that most prostitutes are “trafficked” as slaves against
their will. That is
not true. Most prostitutes do it by choice. I’ve never met one
that said she
was forced against her will to do it. Therefore, these feminists
promote lies
and are anti-male control freaks.
Some of my
forum posters described the
motivation of these “sex trade” accusers best in these
response to attacks on
us from the PlentyofFish Forum:
https://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8511
“Ah,
the usual load of shit. It's an easy way to actually dodge the issue to
make
themselves look good. The one bitch writes about this being a 'sex
trade'
site...and then all the manginas who worship these worthless animals
rush to
their defense. Let's not confront the real issue of what Wu and others
are
putting forth...that you will find better women abroad than the
domestics...and
lets call it about sex trade.
Sex trade. My ass. Even if it WAS in THEORY the women would only be
angry
because MEN are controlling the arrangements. There is nothing more
dangerous
to the feminist whore than men deciding or helping others to gain
access to a
vagina, the only natural weapon or defense they possess. What these
manginas
fail to realize leaping to her defense, is that there is a sex trade in
the
United States, which the women control. It is called 'dating' here.
Dating in
this country resembles the mating habits of baboon packs or peacocks in
the
animal kingdom; the male displays and the broad picks. They go for the
strongest or the most attractive. And so it is with out dating scene.
Honest manginas go on POF hoping to find a date, and unless he meets
their
ridiculous criteria, his messages will be deleted without even being
read, let
alone an actual response. Why is this? Because the ratio is skewed.
There is
probably 10 guys to every female on there. You send her an email, well,
she has
30 other messages in her inbox too. She's not gonna read any of them.
She's
going to click on the pictures. Lol that bitch and manginas said
'unnattractive'
men do this, get foreign girls? Not so, jackass. Because see, being
decent,
average, or moderately good looking...ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. You better
look like
Brad Pitt. I've read profiles of these fat ass bitches with 1 or more
bastard
kids saying they want a guy who is 6'5, is athletic, or has tatoos and
looks
like a 'bad boy.' Why does a fat piece of shit like this get to pick
ANYTHING?
I've noticed too, as I've browed the POF forums, how most of the guys
on
there...just suck up to these worthless
bitches...probably hoping because they NEVER GET EMAIL RESPONSES OR
ACTUAL
INTERESTS IN THEIR INBOX that kissing ass on the forums might generate
some
sort of interest.
I also like how the one mangina says that men who do what we do is
usually
"unattractive losers who can't get girls" or something to that
effect. Ha. Not true at all, buddy. I have an account on that fucking
site. Now
I'm not a PUA by any stretch, but I AM a writer...so I wrote mine in
such a way
that bitches look at it constantly, and they email ME. I went alpha on
it. I
literally changed the fuckin thing from a normal decent dude profile to
one...that has the attitude...which is not false...I actually was being
honest.
I said what kind of bitches I do and don't want..shit like...no kids,
sorry...women of class only...if you haven't been outside of Ohio you
are not
cultured enough for me...all that shit is on my profile..and
bang...night and
day. I suddenly get emails.
I went on dates with some of these bitches,on the side while I waited
for my
REAL girlfriend, the foreigner to get here...dateless men? Ha. I
probably got
more dates off there than that asshole. But you know what? It just
confirmed
everything we talk about on Happy Bachelors, on Happier Abroad...these
women
are shit. Some of them were so self absorbed it was like being at a
Monologue
one man act play and sitting there for 2hrs or however long the date
was. So I
emailed, I talked on the phone, and I went on dates with some of these
girls...and all it did...was make me that much more thankful for my
fillipina.
It was almost to prove to myself experentially that I had made the
right choice
in doing this. I didn't even want to sport fuck them....it didn't even
seem
worth the time or effort.
I met one good girl on POF.......AND SHE WAS FROM THAILAND.”
“I
read some of that attack and also the anti-Wu site created for you
(some rough
stuff out there).
Had to come back to
this
thread and post.
About Wu? Whatever. There's something bigger at play. See, you could be
considered like a messenger and people love to attack the messenger and
not the
actual message/matter at hand, especially when it goes very much
against what
they have been believing. If they have to stretch outside their
paradigm or
comfort zone, they'll look for the diversion to attack.
Winston takes the blows, and also too, because there is some material
there for
them to do so. A real easy route for them.
What about the rest of us? What about the 1000's and 1000's of us who
have
GENUINELY found very nice and easier flowing relationships with
NON-WORKING
women and women who DO NOT want our money like some hungry wolf nor
want to get
U.S. citizenship.
Or just overall better day to day living conditions (NOT measured by
the wealth
of a country).
What about the VERY REAL difference of women in several of these other
countries vs for example the U.S. and how they score on the cards quite
higher?
Of course, there are also the many issues non-female related for being
HappierAbroad.
These are the FACTS that the people who can more easily attack a
messenger (be
it with this relationship issue, or politics, or whatever) choose to
try to get
away from. You see this a lot in debates in the media when they have on
(rarely) someone who really is speaking the non-PC, and less frequently
mentioned truth. They get attacked for everything else BUT the facts
they are
bringing to the table.
Whatever these haters say against Winston, is basically immaterial.
He's
already written a quite insightful ebook, and created this forum for
others to
share insightful thoughts and experiences (although I admit, it is
quite
bombarded with date ads all over the place).
Therefore, it's already too late for the antis. People are being saved
from the
trap, from the pit, one by one, be it with seeking better relationships
(as
here on this forum), or being set free from the grips of an infiltrated
gov,
media, banking,
med, edu,
force set to ruin a people (other forums to learn of the many actual
names
behind those fields and the commonality they share).
Praises be to the internet! There are downsides to it, but also many
blessings!
Praises to the great minds. People who want
to help people and not hurt them.”
If your
question was not addressed in the above FAQ's,
you may post it to me in the "Ask Winston" thread in my forum at:
https://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6648
So you
see, a lot of these objections are merely
statements of ignorance and prejudice, and do not take into account the
big
picture and the truth that is unprogrammed.
Perhaps my
Expat Advisor summed up these narrow objections
best:
- “All this goes to show that a PT
(Perpetual
Traveler) will never be understood by a mono-national. They simply
cannot think
in the terms that we think in. They have no experience with the
demographics
and economics and ethnographics of other societies. They can’t
relate to our
lifestyle. It is like explaining the benefits of flying to an
earthworm.”
- “They are not travelers and they
don’t know how
demographics and economics as well as cultural and racial factors
affect
dating. They have not seen the amazing results that we have when we
manipulate
those by traveling. And they believe in
- “In
Thankfully
though, I do have the occasional surprise
of having a critic turn into a fan, as in these cases:
https://www.happierabroad.com/Great_Letters.htm
“I don't remember the
exact year but it
was probably around 2002 or 2003 when your website was a chronicle
about all
the problems you were encountering in
http://www.youtube.com/happierabroadtv
"After weeks and months of
criticizing
Winston Wu, I have to give it to him... He is right... American women
are more
stuck up than foreign women and the proof was what I witnessed...? I
actually
went to most countries abroad and what Winston said was SO true. I now
applaud
for his effort in helping dateless man like me in
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